Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Tim Fulmer

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

338 Comment

  • To the OP who posted yesterday about her puppy being killed with a dogwalker: I sent your story to my longtime neighbor, who has been a professional dogwalker for the 11 or 12 years now. As I suspected, she had some thoughts on the matter, and I thought her insight was worth sharing. Kind of lengthy, but here it is:

    “This sort of thing is exactly why I advise people to stay away from the “services.” They hire inexperienced walkers and accidents happen. Something I learned very early on is to have my dogs “heel” beside me when crossing streets. If they walk ahead of you, a turning car can easily overlook them. That’s especially true with small dogs, as this one apparently was, since they’re close to the ground. Always go with an independent walker. I’m not impressed by the Wagtime near Navy Yard. Not for boarding or daycare, at least. I have a dog that boards there, so have gotten the tour. I wouldn’t leave my own dog there. As for walking, there’s no service that I’d trust…
    My point is, if the dog walker was not hit, then the dog was walking ahead of the walker. That shows the walker’s inexperience. The accident was entirely preventable by anyone who knew what she or he was doing. Really too bad…
    And the people commenting are exactly right that no one should be walking dogs on busy streets with those braided temporary leashes. What didn’t get mentioned is that they don’t hook onto a harness or collar. They just loop around the dog’s neck. They give the walker no control at all over the dog. That was about as irresponsible as anyone could get.
    It really does sound like the walker is one-hundred-percent responsible. However, the real fault lies with the business that charges people for having their dogs walked by low-paid inexperienced walkers. The walkers can be perfectly nice people, with the best intentions. They just don’t happen to know what they’re doing.”

    • This story absolutely broke my heart, and I hugged my dog extra tight last night after hearing it.
      That said, I want to reiterate what I said yesterday in that posting: that we don’t know the story and shouldn’t, as people not involved, assume that we know what happened. I think this past makes several such assumptions — specially, that the service was using an inexperienced dog walker and that it was using the braided temporary leashes on the dog when the incident happened. We don’t know that either is the case.
      Again, I’m not an apologist for the service in question, but I think it’s a bad idea to keep posting hypotheses as if they’re facts.

      • *This post/specifically

      • I agree with you for the most part, but if 1 out of 3 dogs was hit by a car, then something went wrong. Whether it was an inappropriate leash or the dog pulling ahead or the walker dropping the leash by mistake. Also the change in location is problematic. 9/10&M and 11th & RI are far enough apart that you shouldn’t get this mixed up, IMO.
        I’ve used them for a long time, and while issues are infrequent, then do happen from poor customer service to not staying on top of expiring vaccines. I’d like to believe this was an act of god, but the walker is ultimately responsible for keeping the dogs safe..

      • justinbc

        But we MUST judge! That’s what the Internet is FOR!

      • +1. I spent all night thinking about this, checking and re-checking that thread for updates. So incredibly sad for Pip and his family. There was someone who posted that they’d observed the dog sprinting up the street heading north on 10th or 11th and O if I recall, with the walker running behind them. That is perhaps consistent with the walker losing control around 10th and M or so.
        Whether they were using the stupid rope things to walk him, a clueless dog walker, or the puppy wasn’t wearing a martingale collar and backed out of the collar somehow, or whatever… we just don’t have all the facts.
        I am curious — did you ask the business about the incident when you picked up your dog yesterday?

        • I did, but am waiting until I can talk to an owner before I make any decisions. The people I spoke to didn’t have any real information about it, but were clearly very upset about the situation. At the mention of it, two of the staff members looked like they might start crying.
          My dog is only in day care, and isn’t walked outside, so I doubt I will make any changes to what I do. In my own experience of taking my puppy there 4-5 weeks for day care and occasionally for overnight boarding, the staff is very experienced and they treat my dog as well as I would at home. Gary greets the staff with kisses every morning and comes home sleepy and happy.
          If I learn that there was some kind of negligence on the part of the facility, I would definitely consider changing my routine, but so far I haven’t heard anything that makes me think this is the case.

          • Ugh. 4-5 days/week for day care.

          • Agreed, and that has been my experience as well. I do feel that we are owed a full accounting of the situation by the business in order to assess what went wrong, and whether there needs to be changes in policies/procedures to prevent it again. If they can do that, I’d feel more confident, not less, that they are committed to a culture of safety and fun for my guy.

          • justinbc

            We aren’t owed anything. The dog owner may be, but the business has no accountability to people on a website.

          • I bring my dog to this business and therefore have a stake in whether they’re promoting unsafe practices that may have contributed to this tragic event. They don’t owe accountability to PoPVille, but they do to me and other owners who trust their dogs to them.

        • I would like to echo Shawess. I’ve been bringing my dog to Wagtime for close to 3 years and am consistently impressed with them. We don’t know the whole story and it’s not fair to condemn the business based on what is known.

          • Accidents happen, but that is the ultimate issue for me: a dog under dogwalker’s control was hit by a car. Unless they are allowing inexperienced people too much freedom (walking multiple dogs w/o training, for example), then I would not say Wagtime is negligent either. If Pip got loose and bit someone, I think we’d all look to the walker/business for responsibility. I am not quick to condemn Wagtime, but the responsibility ball is in their court at the end of the day.

          • The driver could be responsible, too. Even if the dog did get loose, a driver may have been able to see the dog and stop, depending on the speed of the dog and the car and how closely the driver was paying attention. These are still details we don’t know and as people not involved, may never know.

    • “My point is, if the dog walker was not hit, then the dog was walking ahead of the walker. That shows the walker’s inexperience.”
      This is just ridiculous. I see maybe a handful of dogs who were actually trained to heel. A poorly trained dog who doesn’t heel doesn’t prove that the dogwalker is inexperienced. I had a husky growing up, and no amount of training could convince her to heel. After months of painstaking training, we did manage to train her not to tug on the leash, but she was a sled dog, and wanted to be out in front. Even when we trained her to sit at every intersection, she always crept out in front.
      That being said, hugs to the person who lost their dog.

      • justinbc

        Yeah, assuming that every dog follows the same great walking patterns to me shows just as much inexperience.

        • A good dog walker trains the dog to heel. If the dog is a known problem for not knowing how to heel or is unable to heel, a good dog walker does not stand close to an intersection where the dog can rush out to be hit by a car. C’mon now- let’s stop making excuses.

          • “A good dog walker trains the dog to heel.” Not if the dog is just there for boarding for a couple of days. Seriously, please stop. You don’t know what happened.

          • Sorry, but unless you’re also paying your walker to train your dog, it’s ridiculous to expect “a good walker…[to train] the dog to heel”. Training is the owner’s responsibility. If the dog is already trained to heel, the walker can certainly continue to do it.

  • Rave: Responsible dog owners who don’t assume everyone is dog friendly and leash accordingly.
    Rant: Bruise somewhere on/in my back. At least I only notice it when I lay down.
    Rant: People who take out their tiredness on those around them.
    Rave: Early day=cooking lunch for the rest of the week+nap before gym time.

  • justinbc

    Reminder: PoP HH @ Dacha 1 week from today (Wednesday). I’ll try to arrive sometime around 5PM to hopefully secure a table.

    • laduvet

      better get there early! last two times.. line was around the corner to get in!

      • justinbc

        Damn. I haven’t been yet this season since they opened up the addition, was hoping that would alleviate some of the overcrowding.

        • tonyr

          I went on Sunday afternoon and it was one-person out, one-person in. The line wasn’t too long (~8/9 people) and the wait was less than five minutes. That being said it was a Sunday afternoon with one of the first picture-perfect days of the season. No idea what weekday happy hour is like, since I get home too late for them usually. PoPVille ones being an exception obviously.

    • skj84

      I’ll be there around 5.

  • Rave: Caption contest photo. Got me to thinking, what percentage of PoPville readers/posters were alive when Star Wars came out (1977)? How about Return of the Jedi (1983)?
    Question: I know many people here have done home renovations. We are starting a complete gut of a kitchen – it’s a blank slate. For those of you who have done it before (or anyone else, really, what are the things that you love about your kitchen, and the things you have? Interested in anything from the smallest detail to an expensive appliance/feature. We are enthusiastic and fairly adept cooks, so functionality is as (or more) important that appearance.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I helped my parents redo their kitchen, I was their decorator. One thing they did wrong was having can lights behind the ceiling fans. It’s a nice bright kitchen b/c of all the lights, but when the fans are on (necessary in New Orleans) they chop up the light and give me headaches. Think carefully about light placement!
      When my grandparents redid their kitchen, they made 2 distinct cooking areas with sinks/dishes/utensils/small appliances. They liked to cook together but didn’t always like to eat the same thing. It also made cooking large meals much easier because the cooks/helpers weren’t fighting over space. The layout was perfect b/c they could get to the shared appliances like fridge, stove, and ovens from 2 sides so they didn’t bump into each other. My parents created 2 prep areas too, but I didn’t like their execution as much. Two full sized sinks rock.

      • Bear

        My parents did the same thing in their house! It is like a strobe light effect. The end result is that they never use the fan, which is a shame.

    • I Dont Get It

      I hate to see people waste the space above their cabinets. Mine go to the ceiling, I think they are 48” which works fine for me since I have freakishly long arms. I store rarely used kitchen items there and it has worked out great!

    • I haven’t renovated the kitchen yet, but plan to in a couple years. We didn’t have a working dishwasher, but recently replaced that so I LOVE our dishwasher haha. Also, our faucet sucked and we replaced that this weekend. I told my partner last night that the new faucet is life changing. Invest in a good one. Obviously you want good counter space for cooking and I can’t wait to make my kitchen counters L-shaped so it includes a small eat-in bar. I plan to create a “pantry” around my fridge too so lots of cabinets. Similar to the cabinets around the fridge in this listing (https://www.redfin.com/DC/Washington/1016-Quebec-Pl-NW-20010/home/10033943). But I plan to do floor a floor to ceiling cabinet on one side, or something like that. I have the vision in my head, I just need to draw it out.

    • **must have.
      natural light
      Floors that transition well. If its open/connected to other areas- I prefer the continuation of the hardwood floors
      Some nice to haves.
      Faucet about the range for filling pots on stove.
      Built-in Wine cooler

    • My absolute favorite thing about my kitchen are the cork floors that I installed. Comfy and less fatiguing for standing on while doing prep work, environmentally friendly, and warm(ish) to the touch so no standing on freezing cold tile or marble.
      I’ve only had the floors for a couple years and was worried about how the soft cork would wear, but my friends own a restaurant with cork floors (helps dampen the sound while making for easy cleanup) and even after 10 years in a commercial setting they are holding up well. Bonus for being able to sometimes drop glass cups and watching them bounce, not shatter…not that I’d recommend doing that on purpose, though!!

      • Similar raves for marmoleum – which is some sort of mix of sawdust, cork, and linseed oil. they’re comfy, warm-ish, and can be cheerful colors. Plus they’re low-impact on the environment.

      • What cleaning products can be used on cork floors — are they varnished with something that can withstand cleaners with bleach in them? Or do you have to treat them like hardwoods?

        • for minor spills and cleanups i use wet swiffers on my cork floors, otherwise use something like murphy’s oil or similar cleaners to whatever i used on the rest of the house (also hardwood). My friends who have the restaurant w/ cork floors told me they don’t baby them — use commercial cleaning products. i’m not sure they are bleaching them, but i think they use pretty strong cleaners.

    • Split sinks. Hate ’em. I had one in my last house, and never washed a platter or cookie sheet without getting water on the floor. Go for the large single sink.
      Electrical outlets: GET MORE! I want a pop-up outlet post.
      Do you have windows? I would like to build a plant rack in front of a window someday, for rows of potted herbs, flowers, etc. Pretty and practical!

      • Emmaleigh504

        +1 more electrical outlets. Figure out how many you need, then add more. My grandmother had them every 6 inches on the counters. They were hidden in a cubby where the counter top appliances also lived. My grandmother’s kitchen was seriously the best.

        • I installed plugmold, which is a line of outlets under the cabinets. I second the recommendation for a wine fridge and for cork floors and cabinets that go to the ceiling and one large sink and also recommend an air switch for the garbage disposal. My only regret with my kitchen renovation was getting absolute black granite countertops. They’re shiny and every water spot shows up so I’m always having to wipe them down.

          There’s a site called gardenweb that has forums called that home site where people post recommendations and you can ask questions. That was invaluable for me when I designed my kitchen.

      • +100 on the split sinks – absolutely useless.

        My biggest problem with EVERY new/renovated kitchen I’ve seen is lighting. Good lighting can make or break any space. Ceiling pot lights are always horrible, pendant lights over the island are mostly bad – with a bare-bulb at eye level. Pendant lights, even many under-cabinet lights – over a granite (or any glossy) counter always kick up an annoying glare.

        My dream kitchen would have no right angles or corners to collect gunk. My ultimate dream kitchen would be one I could clean with a power-washer hose.

    • Range hood (that vents outside) rather than an above-the-stove microwave. The fans on those microwaves always seem totally inadequate.

    • I would kill for under cabinet lighting and pull out organizers in the bottom cabinets.

    • I have two dishwashers. It’s the second greatest thing about my kitchen as I enjoy serving large groups and mutuality-course meals. The greatest thing about my kitchen is the Blue Star range, which was also noticeably less expensive than some of the better known brands. Having burned out the electronics on three or four stoves, I asked for the most BTUs and the fewest bells and whistles and that’s what they gave me. I love it.

    • justinbc

      Minor beneficial things:
      – quiet/soft close cabinets
      – lights under cabinets
      – prep sink
      – as many slide out drawers / cabinets as possible for large items
      – hidden trash receptacle

      Luxury type things:
      – steam oven
      – plumbed in espresso machine
      – as much natural light sources as you can get
      – custom pantry
      – retractable stovetop vent
      – wine / beer fridge

      • Would love a plumbed in espresso machine, but cabinet/counter space is at a premium. Do you mean a retractable vent in lieu of a range hood? I am given to understand they don’t work as well – is that true?

        • Emmaleigh504

          My mom has one, hers works just as well. Since her stove is in the island it keeps the room open.

        • justinbc

          There are definitely models that will work just as well. The only reason we opted not to go that route is that we don’t want a cooktop surface, but rather a traditional range, and they don’t look right with that setup.

    • Bear

      I redid my kitchen in my old place. I’ll second the recommendation for tall cabinets that go up to the ceiling, even if you’re short. I think it just pulls the room together so much better than cabinets that stop a foot away from the ceiling.
      My absolute favorite thing was the tile that I put in – everything else was pretty simple with clean lines but I did a porcelain tile that resembled wood plank and laid it in a herringbone pattern. It added just enough visual interest and (in my humble opinion) set it apart from a lot of kitchen renovations that end up looking alike. I had a small budget but the end result looked fairly high end.

      • Is the tile on the floor or the wall/backsplash?
        I would recommend against porcelain tile on the floor. I have it in my current apartment and HATE IT. It’s hard on the knees (even if you don’t have knee issues) and if you drop things they are more likely to break and/or chip the tile. The cork/marmoleum recs above are excellent ones.

        • I’ve heard that porcelain tile is more difficult to install properly than ceramic tile. I don’t know if they’re the same on the usability front, but ceramic tile isn’t very forgiving in the dropping-breakables department either.

    • All excellent comments! Keep ’em coming.
      Subrant: Houzz. It’s great for ideas, but is a serious budget buster.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I love this thread! So glad you posted it.

      • Yeah, but you don’t have to use all those products. You can find a lot of high quality products on the Internet. Also, watch for sales and of course, negotiate when possible. Floors are really a matter of preference. I see so many wood floors in kitchens these days, which I guess is best if you have an open floor plan, but it’s not my ideal for a kitchen.

        • Agree completely – I’d rather not have (another) wood floor in the kitchen, but the floor plan will be, while not open, not completely separated, and it’s tough to visualize a place where a transition would look good.

          • I have a small, somewhat open kitchen and decided to go with wood floors; I thought cork or some kind of tile would look odd on the (small) kitchen floor

        • SouthwestDC

          Whatever you do, don’t get a shiny dark tile floor. Mine always looks filthy… especially after I’ve just cleaned it. I dream of tearing it out one day (along with the Thermador oven; worst oven ever).

    • Mug of Glop

      No one else seems to be biting on your first question. I probably just missed being able to see Return of the Jedi in the last-run theaters by the time I was born. I did see the “special” edition re-releases in 1997, to whatever sort of privilege that might have been…

    • Allison

      Don’t install track lighting in the kitchen. It looks sexy, but casts weird shadows everywhere which are annoying and make things hard to see.

      • They also attract grease at an alarming rate.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I saw someone on This Old House pick a unique design for his cabinets. Wood cabinets with a mirror on the front that has decorative wire on top of that. It looked good but would be a nightmare to clean! Don’t make more cleaning work for yourself!

          • I would recommend against glass-front cabinets, too, unless you have a whole bunch of non-glass-front cabinets.
            My current kitchen is terrible for multiple reasons, but one of them is that the upper cabinets are all glass-front ones. Those are fine for storing plates, glasses, etc., but not so good for pantry-type goods — they just end up looking unsightly.

          • Emmaleigh504

            you need curtains for your cabinets!

          • I saw that! On the fridge panel, right? It surprisingly looked good in their ENORMOUS farmhouse kitchen, but yeah, cleaning it would suck. They also had two islands, cause, why not?
            Now I have the This Old House theme stuck in my head. It’s very calming and reminds me of Norm Abrams. He reminds me of biscuits, so now I’m thinking about wanting biscuits. Ugh now I’m hungry, thanks Emily!

          • Emmaleigh504

            I thought it was for all the cabinets including the fridge. I like most of what they did in the huge kitchen, but it was kind of bland, except those hard to clean cabinets! All I could think was after a few years they are going to be covered in grease and dust and look disgusting. Wasn’t one of the islands for the kids, I would do that if I had the space and money. Why does Norm remind you of biscuits?
            And now I want biscuits…I want Alice’s biscuits and no one got her recipe before she died! *sobbing*

          • You didn’t watch enough Norm Abrams New Yankee Workshop if you don’t get the Norm Abrams-biscuits connection. So. Many. Biscuits.
            My dad and I used to watch This Old House and NANYW all the time. When I was a kid I wanted to be Norm Abrams when I grew up.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I never watched New Yankee Workshop, I”m from the South, remember 😉

    • best investment I made was my ice stone counter tops (just sold the place that had them, actually). Durable and beautiful. Loved them so much. And DON’T get a bottom freezer fridge. the WORST!!!!

      • We also have recycled glass kitchen counters and I love them. Ours is a little more porous than I would like it it be — beet juice and red wine take some work to remove — but I would get the same counter in the future.

      • The bottom freezer is the subject of considerable debate. I agree that they are grossly inefficient, and difficult to use. However, we’re going to have at minimum a second refrigerator/freezer in the basement, and likely a chest freezer as well. Given that, I’m inclined to live with the bottom freezer because I really like the upper lever refrigerator. Thoughts?

      • what makes them the worst?

      • I love my bottom drawer freezer – why is it considered grossly more inefficient than a top drawer freezer?

        • Not inefficient from a heat transfer perspective, but inefficient from a space perspective. You can’t fit as much in it, and you always have to move something to get to something else on the bottom.

          • My bottom freezer has three slide out drawers plus a small slide out shelf.

          • I have one that sounds similar to MPinDC’s and like it just fine. The sliding drawers/sections make it pretty easy to find the things I need without hassle.

    • I saw Star Wars the summer it came out in a crumbling old movie house in Albany, Oregon, where I was doing farm work for the summer. Afterwards, I got stoned and sat outside watching the August meteor showers, thinking about the vast lineage of time (“a long time ago”) and the infinite distance of space (“in a galaxy far, far away”). It was quite cosmic.
      About a month later I took my cute lab partner on a date to the Uptown to see it on big, big screen. Pretty cosmic, too. The movie anyway. The relationship was just OK.

      • Allison

        Ways I Know I’m Not Cool #537: You said “I got stoned” and I wondered “who would throw rocks at Irving Streete!?!?!”

        • Some of the neighbors, if they thought they could get away with it.

          • In my mind’s eye, you are a character from Dazed and Confused, Irving Streete. I have no idea which one, but it just seems to fit.

          • When I saw “Dazed and Confused” I thought of myself as being in the car full of nerds looking for the part (with my friends from the “It’s Academic” team, John And Sharon). Nowadays I’m just Ward Clever with a tattoo.

    • I did a gut renovation on my (admittedly tiny) kitchen several years ago. I agree with folks who mention the roll-out shelves in cabinets – they are awesome! Also, I got under-cabinet lights and outlets – love ’em! However, my favorite item is a tiny little stupid one – I got a counter top disposal button rather than a wall switch. Don’t know why I like it so much – maybe because it just looks nicer and it’s fun to push buttons…

    • nightborn

      I second the tall cabinets suggestion. We had a soffit above our old cabinets, and had our contractor check to make sure it was empty – it was, with the exception of some wires that could be moved. Totally worth it.

      other things:

      – a D-shaped sink. It’s big and I love it. our faucet is mounted at the side rather than the center to maximize space.
      – soft close drawers/doors
      – under cabinet lighting!!! I cannot live without this
      – make sure corners get utilized properly! I have lazy susans inside mine for easy reach.
      – don’t go too trendy. trends die fast.
      – I’d avoid porous stone for your countertops, even if it’s popular and beautiful – we have friends with amazing marble in their kitchen that they regret installing. It stained almost immediately in spite of being sealed.
      – I’d love to have two ovens (our kitchen is too small)

    • Loves –
      -Cabinets that make good use of corner spaces. I loved my lazy suzan cabinet. Losing space in a corner just makes no sense.
      -Also pull-out drawers in the lower cabinets to get to the back. I actually had mine in my current house put in after-market, which I now see is ideal because in one cabinet I put the top one in higher so I could fit my kitchen aid mixer in the lower cabinet and still have a second shelf.
      -Some kind of pantry space – either built in or a cabinet (also with pull-outs in the lower section.
      -If you have a range/oven combo, I loved my double-oven range. I rarely use both ovens, but it is nice to have when I need it, and the smaller oven heats up SO quickly when I use it day to day.
      -24in deep cabinet above the fridge. hate it when they cheap out and put a 12in. cabinet above the fridge – they’re hard to access and don’t hold as much
      -Three rack dishwasher. Much better use of space on the first rack, and holds more utensils

      Hates (these may be personal)
      – Under counter microwave. I have a normal one and hate bending down. My SIL has a drawer and it was HELL to clean when her kid exploded an egg in there. Just the worst idea ever.
      -Bottom drawer freezer. It just doesn’t work for me because I freeze a lot of soups, etc in muffin tins to freeze later and there is not enough flat surface. Plus, I find that it is hard to find anything in the freezer.

    • Consider the non-cooking things you might do in the kitchen. Do you tend to hang out there? Is that where the kids do homework (that’s where I did all of my homework in middle and high school)?

      • Sorry, that was submitted too early…
        Think about accommodating some of the non-cooking things you do in the kitchen (or would do if it was set up for that). My sister has a small desk area in her kitchen which is where she keeps her laptop, bills get paid, etc. – she can get a lot done while still being in the kitchen to keep an eye on a simmering pot or whatever. It’s the same counter top and cabinets/drawers, just set at desk height. My aunt has a big kitchen, she took out some counter/storage space to have a small loveseat and it is without doubt the most used seat in the house. If you have an island or bar where kids are likely to do homework, make sure the lighting and chairs will work for that. Is the kitchen the base of operations for gardening? Do you do arts and crafts there? Etc.

  • Rant: Was so exhausted yesterday I forgot to set both my alarms and woke up an hour late this morning.
    Rave: Was only 15 minutes late to work. I can get ready fast when I need to.
    Unknown: I have decided to be a horrible person and back out of the housing situation. I really liked the house/room/people, but each day, I felt like something new would come up that I didn’t plan on, whether it was a different room, or extra property managment fees that I wasn’t aware of originally, or quirks about the lease. In any case, I’ll be staying where I am until my lease expires and hopefully subletting this summer. I’ll just have to hustle when I get back from my fellowship to find a place the week I get back so I can move out before my lease expires. I know I’ll get slack about this, so no more talking about housing for me, until I am actually literally moved in somewhere.

    • Do you have someone here who may be able to help you look during the summer? Some places allow skype interviews too. Having someone you trust scoping out places could relieve some of the stress, but there are always places looking for people last minute.
      i think you made the right choice on the new place. I got a bad feeling about it too.

      • You made the right choice…it sounded sketchy. I backed out of a housing plan like 3 years ago and I have never regretted it.

        • Thank you both! And AnonSpock, I do have someone I could ask to check out a place to make sure it is as advertised, but I don’t really have anyone who can actively help me look. Skype would work for me if the housemates don’t mind, and I’m also still on affordable housing lists that might have turnover this summer. I’ll just cross those bridges when I come to them.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I don’t think you are horrible for backing out. If they were always changing things or forgetting to tell you costs, I think living with them would kind of horrible. I think you did the right thing.

    • “no more talking about housing for me, until I am actually literally moved in somewhere.” FWIW, I don’t mind your discussion of housing whatsoever and hope you’ll continue to post about it if you want to. It sounds like this has been an ongoing challenge and see no reason why you -wouldn’t- want to keep talking about it. I hope the next steps in the process are easier for you and am sorry this didn’t work out way you hoped it would!

      • +1. And I like to think that input from PoPville helped FridayGirl crystallize her own thoughts on the subject — originally she was kind of second-guessing herself, but I think she was right to have those doubts/reservations.

        • Thank you! Yes, PoPville did help a lot, actually! I was second guessing myself because I know there are times when I can be inflexible and it is one of my flaws, but in this case, knowing that it wasn’t just me — you were all a huge help!

    • Fridaygirl, when are you looking to sublet a room? I have a few people leaving my house in June/July and we will potentially be needing person(s) to finish out their part of the lease. House is in CoHi (8 min walk to U Street metro), we have private parking. Ask the PoP to give you my email, if you’re interested.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rant: Sad about the extinction of the West African Black Rhino. I know reality is really complex, there is a market for the horns, therefore there are poachers; there is poverty, etc. I won’t even pretend that I understand the whole deal, but it’s sad that such a beautiful beast will probably not be seen anymore. Now that they are extinct, I wonder what will be the next target of poachers.

    • Sadly, I think it will be elephants for the tusks. They’re already being poached, but I think the rhino was a bigger target for whatever reason. This is one of several terrible examples of a 1st world clashing with the 3rd world.

    • Emmaleigh504

      This is the second time I’ve read about the West African Black Rhino extinction today, but they were declared extinct in 2011. Why has it come up again? Cinco de Rhino isn’t until next month. Is there a rhino thing happening that I’m not aware of???
      On the other hand, a black rhino (diff subspecies) was born 2 weeks ago at the Lewa Wildlife Conservancy in Kenya. His mom, Mawingu, is blind so her babies get raised by humans. You can adopt a rhino there or at the International Rhino Foundation rhino.org

    • What’s up with meme about the “last male White Rhino” I keep seeing on Facebook? Is that legit?

  • Rave: Automatic operation on Red line 8-car trains is noticeably smoother. Big fan, can’t wait for it to be back system-wide.
    Rave: Landlord replacing complete HVAC system on Friday despite it still being completely functional, just a little old. This comes on the heels of replacing two faucets and both toilets with brand-new fixtures. He’s the best!
    Rave: Tried Indian takeout from Jyoti in AdMo for the first time. Great service and really good food.

    • I’ve always been happy with Jyoti – but never venture over that way anymore with so much in the immediate neighborhood! Good reminder to go support them.

  • Rant: Super annoying coworker is sitting at her desk practicing Kendo. She’s the weirdest person I’ve ever met (and not in a good way).
    Rave: It makes for some good snapchat fodder.
    Rave: Finally back in my apartment after over two weeks. Pup is back from boarding and extra cuddly.
    Silly rant: Friend is throwing a Game of Thrones themed birthday party for her husband and I have no idea who to dress up as! I only have a week and a half to get a costume together. Eep.

    • Does she have the sword and a mask on? Please say yes!

    • How does one practice Kendo at a desk? Doesn’t she need a sword? OMG, does she have a sword? Is she like Dwight from The Office? I am clearly fascinated.

    • I had to look up what Kendo is. Apparently it involves wooden swords. I’m trying to imagine how someone could do that while sitting at a desk…

    • Wow. Well that is… special. o_o How does anyone think that’s a good idea??

    • Emmaleigh504

      An easy costume would be one of Little Finger’s prostitutes, just hang around naked and beautiful.

      • Haha! I don’t think anyone wants to see that. : P

        • Emmaleigh504

          It might be awkward traveling to the party. How bout get some wings and be a dragon. Or paint your face gold and go as Kaleesi’s brother. (It was gold right, that killed him? It’s been a while since a watched and I never read.)

          • A dragon would be an easy one, I like that. My bf is going as Hodor so I also thought about being Bran’s direwolf but I feel like I’d get too warm in a wolf costume. I wish there were more ethnically ambiguous characters!

          • On the ethnically ambiguous front — I was noticing the other day (I think in a photo accompany a WaPo article) that one of the Sand Snakes is being played by Keisha Castle-Hughes, who’s half Maori. (She was the little girl in 2002’s “Whale Rider.”)

          • Emmaleigh504

            To go as the dire wolf you could just make some wolf ears and maybe a tail and dress in normal clothes of wolfy coloring. Maybe some fur wrist and ankle cuffs if you want to be fancy. I still like the Khaleesi brother idea even if you aren’t a boy and don’t look like him, but I think I just want to paint my face gold. 🙂

          • Ooo good call. I might go as Nymeria Sand (who is being played by a half Asian/half Caucasian actress, apparently). Thanks, textdoc! Now to make this costume… media.melty.com/article-1176-ajust_930-f1426678271/nymeria-sand-jessica-henwick.jpg

          • Emmaleigh504

            You could borrow your coworker’s sword!

          • Hahaha!!

          • I haven’t been following the current season of Game of Thrones, but from IMDb I see that three of the four (?) Sand Snakes are being played by actresses with mixed-race backgrounds — the third is Indira Varma (a Brit of Swiss-Indian parentage). Interesting!

          • Prince Oberon (TBCEIGOT*) was very open-minded about where he spread his seed.
            *The Best Character Ever in Game of Thrones

          • Dcd, is Prince Oberon an equally good character in the books?
            When I read the books, I was so annoyed with the introduction of a completely new place and set of characters that I started skipping all of the ones set in Dorne. It was as though it was a 1960s TV show and someone had told George R.R. Martin “OK, create a diversion!”

          • textdoc, that’s where my opinion was formed. His character was more fully developed in print (of course), and I was really bummed when he was killed. (Lesson 1 of GOT – don’t get attached.) As an aside, the Dornish storylines are among my favorites – they’re enough different from the rest of Westeros that it’s a nice contrast, and the significance of Dorne, though peripheral in the beginning, is increasing. One of my fears for the show is, as they simplify and consolidate the storylines, that Dorne will be left on the cutting room floor.

      • Any pictures you get from the party would probably be fantastic for a caption contest (hint, hint) . . .

    • Do you remember that ad on metro from a few years ago? I think it was a recruiting attempt by some tech consulting firm… It showed a balding guy wearing robes and standing in the woods posing with a sword. The caption was “If this is how Jason spends his weekends, imagine what he does at work!” I felt so mean every time I imagined what kind of a co-worker Jason must’ve been.

      • Fun fact: I’ve met that dude; I was friends with his former girlfriend. Your imagination may not be far off.

    • The correlation of someone who practices Kendo at their desk and also regularly Reddit’s is probably 0.95

  • Question: My office is looking for a day-long community service project to do in May. In the past, we have volunteered with groups to clean up parks in SE and worked shifts at kitchens/shelters. We’d like to do something outside, preferably something like Habitat for Humanity (minus the $5,000 minimum donation- we’re a small company and don’t have tons of extra money for that kind of thing, unfortunately). We’ll have between 10-15 people and would prefer to be in DC but NOVA or MD would be ok. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!!

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Senior dogs! Now that Lizzie no longer barks I was paranoid all winter that I would forget and leave her outside and she would freeze to death. Last night I did leave her outside and eventually she made this squawking noise that sounded like a turkey. It was sad but kinda adorable. Sadorable?
    Rave: My white noise machine! I may gay marry it!

    • If it just makes noise without really saying anything, it might be a lady machine.

    • I Dont Get It

      Late Rant: Just heard from WDS. Lizzie is refusing to climb the stairs to the second floor where her kennel is and she hates to be carried. 🙁 

      • Emmaleigh504

        time to get a doggie elevator. Poor Lizzie.

      • Can you bring the kennel downstairs?

        • I Dont Get It

          I can bring the kennel downstairs but then I’ll feel bad that she is down there alone at night while Lucy and I are lounging in my bed. Lizzie is a skittish, shadow dog and she always wants to be in the room with me but rarely allows me to touch her. The kennel is currently in my bedroom where she can curl up in the back of it and feel secure yet still keep an eye on me in case tonight is the night I finally decide to off her. Lizzie’s issues started many years before Senior Dog status.

          • Might be a pain, but moving the kennel down during the day and up at night may do the trick, but if she doesn’t want to climb the stairs and you cannot carry her, not sure if that will solve the problem if it comes up at night. I hope my dog stays his usual, goofy self for many more years.

          • Clearly you need to move your bed downstairs, or as Emilie suggested, install a doggie elevator.
            Are your stairs carpeted?

        • I Dont Get It

          The kennel is too large to move every night but maybe a dog carrier will work if i can get her into it.

        • Could you conceivably install a dumbwaiter and use it as a doggie elevator?

          • Emmaleigh504

            If he installs a dumbwaiter it better be big enough to fit WDS b/c I bet there will be some fun stories!

  • I have a strong suspicion that I am not being paid what I’m worth on the open market. Any ideas how I can find out what it would cost my current employer to replace me? I have searched all the salary sites but I don’t find any good matches for my whole job. (For example, I do HR and benefits and hiring, but that’s about 15% of what I do, so HR jobs won’t be a good comparison. Basically, my job is a mishmash of everything that’s not project/ billable.)

    • good luck! my advise would be to start looking for new jobs and try to leverage an offer for a salary increase.

  • Rant: The guy in the photo for this thread. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who finds him to be extremely annoying.

  • Rave: Ana Tijoux at the Black Cat tonight. Sold out show. Going with friends. Super excited.
    Rave: Emancipation Day tomorrow. Day off.
    Rave: Last few days at my current job. Woo!
    Rave: Finally hit the gym last night. Looking for a better gym. I’m at WSC in Columbia Heights (I know) because I have a gov’t discount. I am looking at the YMCA Anthony Bowen. Wonder if it’s worth the extra $20 bucks a month.
    Rant: allergies.

    • I’m sooooo jealous of your Emancipation Day off. I was a DC govt worker for 2 and half years and I loved it! lol now that I’m a fed, I miss our only perk. lol

      • Emancipation Day is the only perk. Don’t forget paid family leave.

        • Why yes! I had a coworker who was approved for paid family leave and she would literally “leave” whenever she wanted to, no questions asked. lol DC isn’t that bad. 🙂

    • Anonynon

      I go the YMCA AB… have never been to the WSC in CoHI but the Y Is very solid. I pay about 75$ which is a lot…but you also get access to a lot of free classes (i try to do yoga twice a month, which could be 15-20$ per class). Place is always clean equipment is new, the Post New Years rush has died down so it hasn’t been very crowded recently.

  • laduvet

    Rant: Honeymoon period of school acceptance is over and now its brass tacks with financial stuff….it’s really expensive and stressful.. esp the cost of living in London. hope i can still go..

    Rant: Due to the anticipated move I feel like i am in this weird phase in life.. and are undateable.

    Rave: At least i have a trip to NYC this weekend with some sweet friends!

    • Curious how the options in London would be. Sounds exciting!

      • laduvet

        school options?

      • Everything. – school and social life. It’s going to be different from the U.S. so that sounds fun.

        • laduvet

          its gonna be great and challenging! I am super looking forward to going to concerts and clubs there.. haha 🙂

          • Allison

            I think textdoc is very familiar with the London music scene. Perhaps she would have some suggestions for you. Paging textdoc. Paging textdoc.

          • The London music scene is fantastic! The venues and record stores I know best are the ones that specialize in what I’m into (what’s usually called “downtempo” in the U.S. and “beats” or “nujazz” in the UK), but no matter what your interests are, there should be places to satisfy them.

          • I went to undergrad in Manchester in the early 2000s, and aside from federal loans there were literally no options for assistance. Luckily, I was able to work on my student visa, which kept me mostly out of poverty (well, in enough money to buy my fags and pints at least!).

          • If you need contacts or have any questions about being a masters student in London, I’d be happy to help! I just came off a year there – and have many friends still there so can help connect you!

          • laduvet

            UDPIE – YES!!!!! let’s connect! want to email me? latiscornia (at) gmail dot com

    • No reason you cannot date because you’re leaving. I think being upfront about the impending move is a good idea though.

      • laduvet

        I am totally transparent. sooo can’t hide it 🙂 However… i have already seen someone shy away due to the unpredictable future. Hook ups until departure? oh that sounds… fun (not!).

        • Well, I thought dating in the going out having fun sense, and if sexy times happen, great. If you’re leaving next week, I get it, but if there is some time, I see no reason someone would shy away. You may not like them nor they you long before moving away became an issue.
          Maybe I’m a rare bird in that I’ve continued dating someone after making it clear nothing more would come from it. I enjoyed their company and they enjoyed mine, so why not hang out for a bit?

  • Rant: A couple weeks ago, someone dumped a bunch of crap (an old window, a bunch of boards with nails in it, etc) behind our fence. We called 311 to have it cleaned up, which they did, but then received a fine from the city for not having the trash contained. Has anyone dealt with this before? Should we have called the police for a report?
    Rant: Last night, in a cab on the way home, someone flagged down the car in the road and said that someone at a bus stop needed to get to a hospital. I started to take my seat belt off to let the woman in, but the cabbie called the guy an idiot (the other guy also called him a d’bag or something similar, I think) and kept driving. I really hope the woman was okay.
    Rave: Wednesday?

    • Worrisome… Neighbors moved a few weeks ago, and I just put in a 311 request to have a bunch of the crap they dumped in the alley removed. I did say in the online request “not my house”…

      • If the junk is not next to your house then you’re probably good. Also the inspector may speak to other neighbors to try to find out more information. This is a good thing if the neighbors tell the same story as you; it’s a bad thing if (as in my case) the unspecified “neighbor” doesn’t know what the f*** they’re talking about.

    • Yes, this exact thing happened to me. I eventually got the citations reversed (and didn’t have to pay the fines) when I demonstrated to the inspector that I was the one who *reported* the illegal dumping, not the one who did it. Mind you it took quite a few phone calls over about a week to get it sorted out. My advice is to be persistent and make phone calls (don’t try it by email); you don’t have to kiss their ass but be polite and civil.

      • Did you report it to the police or just to 311? I (stupidly) didn’t write down the number for our request to 311, but I’m not sure if that would matter…

        • Just 311. I actually used the 311 app to submit the complaint and attached a photo of the offending pile. In hindsight I realize that I didn’t make it clear in my complaint that I was the *owner* of the house behind which *someone else* dumped, so the inspector probably thought the complaint came from a neighbor and assumed I dumped the pile.
          Oh, and your comment reminds me, document everything. Take notes so you remember who you talked to, when, and about what. (Always ask for the name of the person you’re talking to.) You may get a bit of runaround or conflicting information and it’s really helpful to be able to cite who told you what and when.

        • When making phone calls, you can start with 311 and they might put you through to DPW, but you really want to be contacting DPW directly. I found it was pretty easy to get the direct number for the inspector who issues the citations, though it took a few days to actually catch her at her desk (I think early morning, like 8am was the right time.)

    • This exact same thing happened to me…except in addition somehow a box with my name and address came out of my recycling bin and was perched neatly on top of the pile of builder trash for the inspector to take a picture as part of the fine.

      That said I just contested it in court…and it was reversed. The burden of proof is on the city…the judge actually asked the inspector “did you see MAR dump the trash in the alley”. The answer was obviously no and my citation was dismissed. You’ll have to take time off work to go to court, I was happy to do it because I enjoy fighting things based on principle.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: pictures of baby rhinos in my twitter feed.
    Rave: the happy black and white dog running with it’s human on the Duke Ellington bridge this morning. Such a happy dog, it made me smile.

  • palisades

    Rant: Nationals, you stupid frustrating people. Almost broke my TV last night. They just look so lost out there. Don’t even know where to start.

  • Rave: Beach vacation has been scheduled. We opted to wait until after the season was over (post-Labor Day) so that we could stay twice as long for the same price. I don’t really care as long as I get to lay out in the sun.
    Rave: All tax refunds have been deposited in our account.
    Rant: Figuring out a bunch of major life questions is exhausting. I know things will ultimately work themselves out but for the moment it’s overwhelming.

  • Anonynon

    Rave: Won first playoff basketball game last night…not to brag but I am absolutely destroying intramural sports lately. Effortless too. I think I am finally in the best shape of my life.
    Rant: Wish these talents could be turned into something a little more productive 🙂
    Rave: Going to the Nats game with my company on thursday
    Rave: Yoga tonight

  • Worst Rant ever-Bed bugs. its a nightmare that seems to never end. $2500 in remediation, hours and hours of washing and drying clothes, the service guys also broke out bed, and didn’t tell us we shoudl remove the drapes either. 135 degree heat on drapes they folded up now requires professional pressing so probably another few hundred bucks. I am never traveling again.
    Rave-Still waiting….

  • One more Rant: told one of our chiefs that that comments were said to me that made me feel disrespected by coworkers yesterday. and today, one of my coworkers, who is the only “friend” I have at work, asked if I told on her and this other coworker because they were called in to discuss what happened. That was inappropriate for her to ask me, and I will not deal with this. I cannot wait to leave this toxic work environment. Glad our chief is taking steps, but we have a long way to go to stop with the fear of reporting inappropriate behavior and comments. Letting my boss and the rest of my team know that this needs to be addressed.

  • Rant: My teeth suddenly hurt like hell!

  • Mug of Glop

    Rave: Shake Shack run was good, despite the rain. Probably shouldn’t have gotten that milk shake, though…
    Rave: Paperwork for staying employed is filtering through the management now. Looks like I’ll be able to eat for another year!
    Rant: Craziness and scheduling means that my apartment looks horrible and my sink is full of dishes. Gotta clean up!
    Rant: Haven’t made my coffee yet.

  • Rave: Date night tonight! Off to see Man of La Mancha.
    Rave: lovely weather out
    Rant: Stayed up too late waiting for my wife to finish chatting with her dad last night.
    Rave: Not too tired–yet?
    Rant: May have to stay up late tonight getting some things put away if my parents decide to come down this weekend. Won’t know for a few hours.
    Rave: If they come visit, it will be to meet with a couple of real estate agents–which should be very helpful as they decide when to pull the trigger on putting their house on the market & which areas to look at housing in down here.

    • My mom wants to move to Reston, she thinks it’s cute. My dad has put the kibosh on that….by deciding they’ll retire to Delaware. Who retires to Delaware? Old credit card companies?
      I hope your parents’ plans are less suburban than that.

    • Reston? Really? What’s the point of moving closer if they’ll be that far away???
      And Delaware? To the beach? Are these serious plans?
      My parents want to be within 20-30 minutes (ideally) of both my sister’s place & mine–so DC or closer suburbs of VA/MD. They don’t really know for sure, though. It’s funny–my mom used to refer abstractly to the time that we’d move to our “real” house in the suburbs–like our current house is a starter house. But over the years, she’s been convinced that it’s really nice to be able to walk/use public transit to get to so many places–and not have to drive so much. So I think they’re hoping for something that is in a walkable area. They’ve got a bunch of other wishes, though, so I’m not sure what will win out.

      • My sister originally lived in Reston when she moved down here and I think my mom just found it more like home. They aren’t going to move to DC or the nearby burbs. Both my parents mothers are still alive and they and all of the their siblings and such all still live in CT. So, DE is a middle ground with a better tax situation.

        • Well, I can see that making sense then. Not as crazy as it initially sounded 🙂

        • Rant #1: Friends who moved from DC to DE in retirement still drive to DC for doctor’s appointments.
          leading to Rant #2: there’s really no public transportation in DE.

  • valentina

    Rant: Plane ticket prices, 5+ benny’s to fly to Arkansas??? Uhhhhh

  • Rave: Whole Foods is giving away free 12 oz coffees for Tax Day.
    Rave: I was buying applesauce anyways. The sign on the shelf said that they were on sale 2 for $4. The register rang up the regular price. When I mentioned the sale sign, the cashier went to speak to a manager. When she came back she said that I could have the applesauce for free since the sale was over but they didn’t take down the sign.
    I walked out of Whole Foods with $7 worth of items and paid nothing!!!

    • skj84

      I love Tax Day specials. My personal favorite is BLT Steaks. Half off all Cocktails, Beer and Wine. I’m hoping to stop by for Happy Hour tonight.

  • Rave/rant: Lots of travel coming up in the next few weeks.
    Rave: Plans for friend’s celebratory birthday weekend are coming together
    Rave: I love how many more social events happen in the warmer weather
    Rant: But thinking of the next couple of weekends makes me tired.

  • Rave: I became a U.S. Citizen yesterday.
    Rave: Now I can sponsor my parents to visit me!
    Rant: I have to do immigration processing for my parents to visit me because they wouldn’t get a tourist visa. Immigration officers always rejected their visa application because they thought my parents will stay here illegally. My parents have NO intention to stay here, but I have no choice than sponsoring them as immigrant if I want them to ever visit me, this is crazy!!

  • Rant: Angst over choosing a basement tenant. Since there’s some space that’s shared, this is a little like choosing a roommate and I don’t want to screw it up. My tenant who’s leaving is fantastic, but there was friction with the one before that and I don’t want to end up in that situation again.

    • +1 If my tenants ever leave, I’m going to be hard-pressed to find someone equally as awesome. Good luck!.

    • what kind of friction? Just curious bc I’m about to rent my basement out too

      • First tenant was a friend/acquaintance (bad idea #1). I had the hardest time getting her to comply with the rules for trash and recycling (trash should be bagged, recycling should be unbagged). She treated my back deck as though it was her own; I’d hoped that she would stick more to the patio adjacent to her own space. She played loud music.
        Having had this experience, I think it’s best if you set out in advance some written guidelines for how things like trash and recycling should be handled. Some people might be coming from an apartment complex where they just throw trash in the dumpster and it doesn’t matter how it’s bagged, whether the bag leaks, etc.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Ditto. My problems renting to a friend were in another category altogether, though. He had a pathological difficulty with locking the door when leaving the house and with turning off things like stoves and irons. No written agreement can solve that. I made him take out a renters insurance policy with $1M personal liability coverage as a condition for staying.

    • We rent our basement as well–and we try to rent it out just below market rate in order to attract a larger pool of potential tenants to pick from. I think that the sorts of problems you’ve listed might be generally easier to handle with a non-friend tenant, so that might work in your favor without having to write everything out. But gut feeling based on conversations with potential tenants can help too. The one nightmare we had, we could see coming–but was someone an existing tenant selected to live with her based on mutual acquaintances. That said, we might be inclined to say something should that sort of train wreck appear again.

      • My gut feeling about this one person is that the person is nice enough, but perhaps a little presumptuous/over-assertive (maybe even entitled-sounding?) about use of shared space. And that makes me worried, because it reminds me of tenant #1. I wish I could just clone tenant #2.

        • Still trying to figure out what to do. I really don’t like going against my gut feeling, but maybe I should be more flexible. If I do take this person, I’ll want to explain: “When you were looking at the unit, you said ____, which concerned me because ____. I want to clarify that ____. Are you OK with that?”

        • HaileUnlikely

          If we are talking about a shared-space situation and not an entirely separate unit, I think your gut feeling as articulated here is a legitimate reason to just look for somebody else.

          • Thanks. Yeah, if it were a unit down the street, I would have no qualms. But since there’s shared space, shared trash bins, some level of noise being transmitted in both directions, etc. I want to be careful. This person has traits that remind me of tenant #1, and that’s just not an experience I want to repeat.

        • Gut feeling for me is always 100%. Is your apt. priced perfectly for what/where it is? Then you will have no problem. In my first line (email) of interviewing potential new tenants, I just ask them to “tell me a little about yourselves.” Leaving it open that way means a lot can come through there.

  • Rant: Tax Day
    Rave: Any local restaurant tax day freebies I don’t know about?

    • skj84

      I mentioned this a bit further up, but BLT Steak offers half off all cocktails, beer and wine today. Nopa Kitchen is doing specials as well.

  • Rave: beautiful weather
    Rant: sickness-es
    Rant: I miss cooking

  • Rave: Fun dinner party with friends – love em!
    Rave: Did taxes and tallied up all I have to charity last year – four times what I gave in 2013 – yeah for giving!
    Rave: Work can be frustrating but I get to do some really great and interesting things, see crazy parts of the world and work with amazingly talented people – need to remember that.

  • Rave – Starting to enjoy rainy days because that means my dog gets the park all to herself! She ran around in the mud and had a great time. But she did not enjoy her bath afterwards.
    Rave – Super nice train conductor on the red line this morning.
    Rant – Future mother-in-law not approving of our wedding plans and is making my SO very stressed.

    • Can I ask what the disagreement on wedding plans is about? Maybe we can help?

      • You’re so nosy, lol

      • His parents are not from America so they have different expectations when it comes to weddings. So we’re dealing with some cultural differences. Weddings to them are huge, grand celebrations where the whole town/village gets invited. We’ve having a relatively small wedding, which she doesn’t like and doesn’t understand why wouldn’t want more people there. She doesn’t like our decision to have a buffet dinner, doesn’t like out decision to only offer two meat plus one veggie opinion (she said we had to offer at least 4 different meat options and no veggie option), doesn’t like that we’re having a non-religious ceremony, doesn’t like that’s in DC, doesn’t like what we’ve planned for rehearsal dinner. I could go on!

        I understand that this wedding isn’t what she’s used to, but I wish she would understand my fiance when he tells her that this is what we want and stop making him feel bad about it.

        • That’s too bad. It’s good, though, that you and your fiance are on the same page about this, and that he’s the one dealing with his mother.
          Do his parents live in the U.S.? Any possibility you could have a second wedding in their native country, if they’re willing to foot the bill for it? Or does your mother-in-law want a big wedding like she’s accustomed to, but all on your own dime?

          • “Any possibility you could have a second wedding in their native country, if they’re willing to foot the bill for it?” I would second this as a good idea, if it’s something you would be willing to do. I had some differences with my own parents on the best way to have our wedding — we wanted it to be super, super small but they wanted it to be open to more of their own friends and family — so we ended up having a second party in my hometown, which my parents fully planned. It worked out really well for us.

          • I cannot imagine having a second wedding after going through all the planning for this one! However, if someone else plans and pays for it then I guess I’d be more open to it. My mom and I got into a little argument about…wait for it…bridesmaid shoes recently! It’s really annoying that family and friends feel the need to offer their [unsolicited] advice. People should respect that it’s about the couple and what they want is most important. Sorry you’re having these issues with the in laws!

          • She expects us to plan a big wedding on our own dime. Not happening. I wouldn’t be opposed to a big wedding party in their home country if she paid for it and planned it, but I doubt that will happen. But I will mention it to my fiance.

          • Oh ParkViewRes, I had an argument with my mom over whether or not the bridesmaids had to match. It’s so stupid. Weddings bring out the crazy in people.

          • Whatever you decide, I feel for you, Pixie. I thought the hardest part of wedding planning was trying to please myself and my then-fiance while negotiating the wants and desires of the other people I cared about. It’s rare in life when we have this many people to try to accommodate, and new family members are especially tricky.
            But if they’re trying to get you to pay for their many, many extra guests, then you absolutely have a right to put your foot down and feel no guilt about it. Weddings are crazy expensive, and additional people can absolutely break the bank.

          • “She expects us to plan a big wedding on our own dime. Not happening.” And rightly so!
            You sound like you’re doing a good job of resisting the crazy.

          • That’s what mine was about!! The shoes though because I already allowed them to wear different dress styles, same color and material–just pick your own style. (I think you’re doing this too?) My mom said I needed to “get on the bridesmaids about the shoes because she finds it so tacky when bridesmaids wear different shoes.” I was like seriously?! It took 5 months to get the last bridesmaid (my sister) to finally buy a dress and now you want me to coordinate matching shoes when 2 of the bridesmaids live in different countries, I’ve planned this whole wedding while buying and renovating a house…let me see, NO! She shut up after that. I usually see it bring out the worst in BRIDES, but I see it goes the other way too now.

        • This sounds very familiar to me. In my experience you will probably not be able to change the way his parents feel or act – but you can maintain a united front and stay true to the wedding you want and to the reasons you are getting married in the first place. Perhaps they’ll be satisfied if they can throw their own party for you back in their home country, but I’m only a fan of that kind of appeasement if it’s truly something that *you* will enjoy. Try to maintain a sense of humor and keep your eye on the big picture – all this stuff probably won’t matter much, if at all, down the road.

        • Practice this – “That’s a lovely idea.” Then say nothing more and plan your own wedding. If they keep suggesting, talking, etc. just keep responding with the enigmatic “that’s a lovely idea.” It’s important to say nothing more. There may still be a time when you have to add a firm “No thank you.” When that comes, keep it to that. “No thank you.”

  • RANT: Basement dehumidifier shutoff sensor decided to stop working sometime in the last 24 hours. Coming downstairs and finding a giant puddle is never fun, especially when it happens close to midnight.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I used to rent a basement apartment that got a nice pond in the living room when it rained. The landlord didn’t care, I didn’t care, the cat didn’t care; I called it my water feature.

      • At first I was reading that as “the rat didn’t care.” 😉

        • Emmaleigh504

          Did not have a rat in that apartment (THANK ALL THE PRETTY THINGS!) but did have a dead bat. I saw it from the corner of my eye in the mirror and almost died of fright. I had no idea wtf it was.

        • Allison

          That sounds like an adorable children’s book. “The Rat That Didn’t Care.”

          • Maybe to accompany the book about Pierre? 😉

          • Emmaleigh504

            yeah, if you want to scar your kid for life! Though I did give my niece a French kids book about a girl with her name who gets kidnapped by a strange man. She hits him with a mop and gets away. Her family finds the whole thing hilarious. The French are weird.

  • Rant: Smokers. I just don’t know how with the medical evidence out there and the fact that everyone hates you for doing it, why this is still a thing that people do?

    • Since you’re such a medical expert, I’m sure you know that lots of psychoactive drugs have miserable side effects than can be mitigated by smoking. Nicotine gum/ patch helps, but the ritual of smoking is particularly effective for medically-compliant individuals with psychosis. Lots of people quit their meds because of the side effects. If smoking can keep them compliant, why on earth are you inserting yourself in the conversation? You have no business here.
      And don’t say “I’m not talking about them…” because you truly have no idea WHO you’re talking about. None.

      • justinbc

        I’m guessing that’s a very small segment of the population that any one individual would encounter.

        • You said it: you’re guessing. You’re not even ashamed of assuming your situation is universal, are you?
          You’d be blown away at how many people around you are mentally ill, on their meds, and getting on with their lives.

          • justinbc

            Feel free to enlighten me with actual statistics, once you get off your soapbox.

          • I’m tempted to post a lmgtfy link. Would you read anything you found there? Would you change your tune?
            But because I am intellectually honest, I’ll tell you that the prevalence of mental illness generally hovers around 20%. Of course, that’s everything. You can slice and dice the data lots of different ways, and many conditions are treated kind of randomly, and many individuals aren’t treated, or aren’t treated consistently.
            It’s safe to assume that one out of every five or six people you encounter is suffering. How many are smokers? Maybe 1 out of 100? And it’s still totally inconceivable to you that the person who is pissing you off this minute might be coping the best he can?

          • So you’re saying that 1 out of 5 people (no source cited) has a mental illness, and that 1 out of 100 of those people is a smoker (no source cited). Then factor in how many people you see smoking, and what small percentage those people would be of that whole population… it doesn’t take a statistician to figure out that you just proved his point for him about using the excuse of mental illness as being a very small segment of the smoking population. Maybe you should go have a smoke, you seem really upset by this discussion.

          • Nope, I said that one out of 100 people you encounter is smoking, maybe. Wild ass guess. *pause for google* And I was WAY off. It’s so much higher. Almost exactly the same as the rate of mental illness, actually. 18%, according to the CDC.
            As for sources cited, links waste mod time. Google it yourself. Try the NIH.
            Why are you so committed to denying a link between smoking and mental illness?

          • justinbc

            I think the point that everyone is making still goes back to my original response to you, that a very small % of the people you encounter smoking is doing it to remedy the side effects of “psychoactive drugs” (I can only hope you’re referring to legal substances). So, giving everyone you see smoking a pass, just because there’s a very remote chance they’re doing it for that one reason, seems unreasonable.

          • I don’t accept your position that it’s a “remote possibility”. Moving on.
            See, I come down on the other side of the “giving everyone a pass” idea. I give everyone a pass because of the (in my experience very real) possibility that they’re dealing with something I don’t understand. I don’t know what it’s like to need to smoke so that my hands won’t shake and my face won’t twitch, or so that I won’t throw up the meds before they can take effect. If there’s even a one-in-twenty chance (and I believe it to be higher) that the person stinking up my airspace needs that, yeah, I’m giving them all a pass.

          • Dude. If you don’t understand how statistics work then please stop using them to defend a behavior which kills 400,000+ people EVERY YEAR. That’s a medical number you can use your favorite Google tool to verify. Smoking is toxic, there’s no arguing that point.

        • HaileUnlikely

          I’m with anon here, not specifically regarding smoking, but with regard to the general approach of preferring to risk giving somebody an undeserved pass rather than risking denying a deserved one.

      • yikes you seem like an angry person!

        • Who’s angry? The mental health advocate, or the person who “hates” strangers for smoking?

          • I am very late to this party and am not defending OP because smoking is definitely a personal decision to make (and often a culturally-influenced decision) but I am pretty sure the word “hates” wasn’t directed towards specific indivduals but more of a hate-by-association thing (like, “I hate cigarette smoke, and you’re smoking, so I don’t like you right now.”) Maybe I’m reading too into it…

          • the mental health advocate

  • Rant: Organizing Bring Your Child to Work Day. We recreate the wheel every year with no lessons learned or SOP. And the same activities/presenations are used year after year. When this even is over I will be writing an SOP because this was more complicated and stressful than it shoul have been.

    • Allison

      Maybe that can be the activity for the kids this year — “recreate the wheel” — sends a message to your co-workers. Teehee.

    • valentina

      I am working on the same thing. We do change it up every year unless there are things that they kids like that they specifically request again the next year.

  • Rant: my work email has been jacked for over a week. A ton of my sent mail disappeared, my inbox won’t auto-update, alerts can’t be dismissed. If work is running, then working with busted email is running through quicksand.
    Rave/rant: it’s fixed, at least for now, but over 100 emails I’ve already filed are back in my inbox. So, now I have almost no idea what I’ve dealt with and what I haven’t.
    Rave: I’m having a hard time here, I hope the Caps generate a rave tonight with game 1.

  • Smoking is fun. I miss it every now and again.. And it brings out the self-righteous in people, which can be interesting.

  • justinbc

    Revel: Just for the hell of it I went to Subway today for lunch. You know, to fight class warfare and all that.

    • palisades

      Ugh. Subway is just so bad.

      • justinbc

        It was terrible, but I couldn’t resist the irony of the situation.

      • Allison

        I think I must have bad taste. I’ve always liked their sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwiches.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Or you’re just not a snob like some here. One of my lunch staples is a footlong tuna with American cheese, spinach, tomatoes, red onion, green pepper, cucumber, olive, and ranch dressing. And I really don’t care what the guy with the projector in MtP thinks about it.

          • justinbc

            I actually had tuna today. At least they claim that’s what it was made of.

          • Allison

            Well, I have been known to walk a few extra blocks to potbelly, which I think is better.

          • palisades

            Thinking Subway is gross makes me a snob? Really? I practically lived off it in college.
            There is something so processed and artificial about that place. And the veggies always seem to be wilted and weird.

          • justinbc

            It definitely tastes artificial, even when compared to Potbelly in the same price category. I also find the notion that so many people think they’re eating healthy by consuming a foot long product of meats, breads, and cheeses quite funny.

          • epric002

            if wanting more than 3 leaves of spinach on my veggie sub w/o having to argue w/the “sandwich artist” about it makes me a snob, ok then. i’ll get my veggie subs elsewhere. like wawa- yum.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I grew up in a house that looked like yesterday’s GDoN and eating at Subway was a legit treat for my family growing up. Reading the comments on those two threads feels kind of like being spat on repeatedly. Once in a while I might spit back. Don’t like that? Watch where you spit. Palisades – not really, though I do think those who are trying to block Subway from moving into a long-vacant building in MtP are snobs. Allison – fair enough, I like Potbelly too, primarily for cookies and shakes, though. With the exception of the meatball, I’d usually pick Subway over Potbelly. I like the tuna better at Subway, meatball better at Potbelly. epric – I never have that problem. Maybe the sandwich artist just likes me better? Kidding of course. Wawa is outstanding, I’ll give you that. I wish we had Wawa in DC.

          • I like the tuna, too. And I am a food snob, I admit it. But thinking that Subway has mediocre subs does not make one a food snob, it makes one an objective observer of the world around him or her. It’s a massive fast food chain that serves food that, other than the vegetables, is so processed it may as well be plastic. (And as epric notes, trying to get extra veggies is sometimes a difficult proposition.) Are you really suggesting that it’s top quality?

          • palisades

            LOL it’s a fast food chain. You are taking it way too personally.
            You just said hypothetically you’ll spit back because people are saying a fastfood place sucks. Think about that.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Outside the context of yesterday’s discussion where half the commenters want to somehow orchestrate a way to block Subway from being able to lease an empty building because apparently the neighborhood is too good for Subway (even though it is not too good for an empty building), I wouldn’t care enough to comment.

        • Sometimes I crave the same sandwich, Allison!

        • Sweet onion chicken teriyaki sandwich is a guilty pleasure of mine. It’s my version of a pizza from Dominos.

        • palisades

          You clearly do care enough. Find something more important to get worked up about.

          • HaileUnlikely

            You seem to be weirdly bothered that I called you a snob. Let’s both find something better to get worked up about.

    • Emmaleigh504

      lol keep fighting the good fight.

    • Did you really just Revel at Subway?

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Another day reading proposals at home with the kitties. Such a relaxing work day.
    Rant: Next week will be busy and stressful.
    Rave: But in a good way, if that makes sense.

  • My band recently played its second show, and we’re looking for more places where we might be able to organize some concerts. Specifically, I can’t seem to find any places in Bethesda or Silver Spring that feature live bands, other than Flanagan’s, and they book a year in advance. We’re a co-ed alternative-rock band of thirtysomethings, playing mostly original material.


    • HaileUnlikely

      Not sure if it’s the type of place you’re looking for, but Barking Dog in Bethesda feature live bands fairly regularly.

  • Whoever took this picture, don’t do it again. This man is the bane of my existence. I live about the Chinatown arch and he sits on his megaphones until eleven pm some nights. Taking pictures of him encourages this behavior. PLEASE STOP

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