Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user  JJ Jackson

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

412 Comment

  • SFT

    Rant: Open (office) floor plans. My new office has an open plan – lots of cubes with very low walls. It’s super awkward when you’re blowing your nose or shoving your face with food and someone comes over and stares at you. The nose blowing thing, especially. I want to build big Lego walls on top of my barely-there cube walls for privacy!
    Rant: Super tired. I’m sleeping horribly, even when the kiddo makes it through the night I don’t get good sleep!

    • It’s so hard to sleep well when you’re used to getting woken up. I feel your pain.

    • hammers

      WHO thinks open offices are a good idea. Who?!?!?!?!!??!?!

      • People who don’t actually have to work in them (because they still get their own office).

        • +1. I really do not understand how anyone thinks open offices (or cubicles, for that matter) are a good idea.

          • Agreed. We have one floor in my office where the cube walls are super low (literally, slightly about waist height) it’s noticeably louder and beyond awkward.

        • I Dont Get It


        • SFT

          Yep. People who don’t have to duck and cover just to blow their nose. Bastards!

        • Business consultants who consult on the new office design now, then know they’ll have work in a few years when the company realizes open office space doesn’t work and they need a consultant to design the “office space of the future”

      • In an earlier job, I once had a cubicle that was so small that I couldn’t even fully open a wet umbrella to let it dry.

      • In my office, feds get larger offices with meeting tables and couches, while contractors, many who have worked here longer, are crammed into multiple person low-wall cubicals.

    • They’ve actually done studies on open offices and cube farms and the overall health of their inhabitants. What they’ve found is that cube dwellers’ cortisol level (associated with stress) slowly goes up as the days goes on. Compared to their colleagues in enclosed offices, those in open offices are more likely to be sick. Of course, there is also the lost productivity due to noise, distractions, etc. But someone somewhere must have determined that the savings produced in cramming people into lots of small cubes is greater than the expenses generated. That, or people are just naturally inclined to stick with the status quo long after its usefulness has evaporated.

      • Or they stick with the status quo because there’s no room to put all of the employees already in the open office into a better set-up.
        We’re lucky that we have something like 6.5′ cube walls, but we demolished offices to fit more cubes so we could keep hiring.

      • Andie302

        I buy this. Right now I can clearly hear three people talking, and two other people streaming the same live broadcast (with the timing slightly off, maybe a half second delay). By then end of the day I am going to want to punch myself in the face.

      • SFT

        They use lots of buzzwords like “collaborative environment”… “open cube policy”… “seating equality”. I feel like I spend so much time looking over my shoulder to see who is standing there (whether I’m on POPville or doing actual work), it’s nerve-wracking!

        • Yes! I can relate to the constant looking-over-my-shoulder thing. I think that is one of the things that leads to the cortisol levels rising. The thing is, even if you justifiably have a break or are waiting on someone else’s work, looking at PoP or other news sites may look bad if someone just runs by your office and sees it. Appearances matter, and people can form opinions on one short run-in with you. But the nature of most white collar jobs means that we have down time- we are not producing widgets all eight hours of the work day. Maybe telework is a good thing just so people get a break from the total lack of privacy in the modern workplace!

      • Mug of Glop

        It’s a lot cheaper and denser for one. But the old wisdom was that collaboration would be heightened in an open-plan office and communication could be improved, and then synergy. But no one back in those dark days (as opposed to these current dark days?) ever thought to consider that it matters who you’re collaborating with, or that maybe people actually need to think about things every once in a while, since results aren’t just magically conjured up out of the aether by simply placing a worker in a chair.

        Of course I say all this as I’m in an office and they’re drilling through the 8″ concrete/brick wall to get new wiring into the office next door and it’s pretty distracting in its own right. Yay buildings twice my age!

    • skj84

      I work in an open office. They think it boosts productivity. I just get distracted by all the noise around me.

    • I Dont Get It

      I work in a goldfish bowl so you have my sympathy. Some have tried bringing in tall houseplants or fake houseplants to place on their desk to provide some privacy.

    • Ally

      +1 on the open office concept being bad. Our agency uses that for our software developers (I’m lucky to have an office…there’s no way I could get coding done in a bullpen environment). I guess for people all working on the same project there can be some benefit. For those who aren’t, though, not fun.

      • SFT

        I do a lot of writing and talk on Skype quite a bit too, so I’m always holding my head down and whispering. It’s the worst. They also block Pandora and other internet radio, so I can’t put my headphones on and listen to music. If I could only find my iPod!

        • Ally

          That does stink! If you get desperate, I do have an old ipod touch from back in the day that I never use. You’re liable to get stuck with some real crappy music though. Hope you like Kraftwerk 😉

    • Aglets

      Open floor plans are the worst.

    • I Dont Get It

      Right now I can hear:

      1. My boss laughing loudly and carrying on a personal conversation
      2. One guy two cubiclettes away on the phone leading a training session that he does twice a week that I could probably do now if he ever needs a sub.
      3. The guy next to me on a teleconference which includes
      4. A woman across from me in a hoteling space.
      5. Another woman on a teleconference.

      Since we are surrounded by glass walls all sounds echo. Yay collaboration!

    • Our open office plan distracts me from the independent writing projects I work on every day AND makes me more anti-social than ever because I hate having personal conversations in front of 50 other people.

    • Becks

      I hate the concept of open floor plans. My office is in transition and trying to convert our office to open floor plans to better communication between co-workers. It’s an awful plan as no one wants to watch you eat, blow you nose, or slack off! There are people in my office that are LOUD speakers who I am grateful I do not work next to. I brought this up during planning and was told that people would just have to learn to speak more quietly!

      • A colleague at a previous job who had the cubicle next to mine complained that I typed too loudly. WTF??

        • I am also a very loud typer. I type as if I learned to type on a manual typewriter (almost true), plus I am a two finger typer instead of a touch typer so strike the keys harder than necessary. Fortunately I am not in a cubefarm, if I was I would feel sorry for anyone working near me.

          • Interesting. I didn’t really learn to type on a manual typewriter — more on a Commodore 64 keyboard — but my first typing experiences were on a typewriter that was so old that my dad had seen it in a museum around the time I was born. It looked like this:
            The worst thing with that typewriter was that if you didn’t hit the keys quite right (especially as a kid with smaller fingers), you could get a finger stuck between the keys, and it HURT to extract it. Oww!

    • The pro’s & con’s of an open office space from an engineering perspective, in bullet points, because engineers like bullet points:
      • Everything you all are saying here. It’s noisy, very distracting, etc…This is the single most common complaint and there really isn’t much that can be done about it other than enforcing quieter office etiquette.
      • Large open office spaces will never have separate thermal zones for each person and often times end up only being comfortable to those who don’t notice temperature swings at all (like the guy who I saw walking down mass ave today in shorts and sandals) and those who complain the loudest.
      • Unable to turn off lights when spaces are unoccupied because the lighting is shared.
      • Allows light to go deeper into the office space. If my office had enclosed offices, I most certainly would not be able to see a window.
      • Typically is easier and cheaper to construct in just about every aspect. Less walls, less ductwork, electrical combined into common furniture feeds, etc…
      • Typically is cheaper to operate. Potential of reduced lighting costs due to increase in natural lighting, typically less controls due to larger zoning, potential savings in fan energy due to not having slab high partitions throughout the space.
      • Much easier and cheaper to retrofit.

  • Rant: Hurry up and wait. Two weeks of crazy interviews, presentations, and such and now just waiting…
    Rave: DC Library – so excited to dive into Chilean and Argentinean authors in prep for our trip.
    Rant: Friday destination weddings. Logistics.
    Rant: I’m cranky. Need to get a work out in to get myself out of this crank.
    Rave: Continuing BikeDC State Avenues after a month delay. Onto Kansas Ave (and Petworth Library!) today.

  • hammers

    Rant: I saw….a……….bed bug. grumble.
    Rave: Emergency savings so I can go full nuclear if needed
    Neither rant nor revel: I’ve always said my I have never seen my mother happy. Today I saw her tell a friend on facebook in comments on a picture of her smiling that she hasn’t been happy since the early 80s. Someone pointed out that both my sibling and I were born after that and she probably shouldnt say that. She just replied they don’t read my facebook! heh. I knew it. I wonder what happened in the early 80s….

    • Ugh – where was the bed bug? That creeps me out.

    • Pablo Raw

      Are you sure it was a bed bug? and not other type of bug?

    • Did you catch the bug? If you can catch it, put it in a sandwich bag so you can show it to an exterminator. There are some similar looking bugs that aren’t bedbugs.
      I had them twice, so I feel for you right now. It’s scary, but make sure you are exercising your rights as a tenant and your landlord is doing everything they’re supposed to.

      • hammers

        Yes, I’m pretty sure it was a bed bug. It was climing on the wall near my bed. I killed it, but I kept it you can still tell what it was. I think the tell tale was the smear it left on the wall. Plus I had some bites last week that I didnt know what they were. I did a thorough search of the bed and luckily my mattress has been encased from the beginning. I just bought a cheap vinyl cover for the box spring as a stop gap until I figure out what to do. I havent been bitten in over a week and a half, and I don’t see any smears, shells, or other evidence…this just sucks. I emailed my landlord but I don’t even know if he checks it. I’ll probably end up paying for this myself because if I decide to bring someone in, I want to do the heat treatment.

        • Do you have a wooden bed frame? They like to hide in the cracks of the frame – not just edges of the mattress or box spring.

          • hammers

            sadly, I have no beframe, which means they can crawl up from the floor, but on the bright side I have less places to check. I know I should have one, I had actually ordered one before all this happened from Room and Board, they just are taking some time to build it for me.

        • And here I thought I was having a bad day!. Gotta get better from here – keep on keeping on.

    • Check out the bedbug sniffing dogs–American Pest has them. The dogs can tell you everywhere they are to help sort out extermination plans, etc. Good luck!

      • My friend used this service and the dog’s name was Sherlock Bones. The other dog was Sunny Sleuth. I have never met them, but I imagine that they are as delightful as bed bugs are terrible. Sorry that I don’t have anything useful to add to this discussion!

      • +1
        The dogs are great. It shut up my hypochondriac ex-roommate who kept insisting she had bed bugs after we completed multiple treatments. Turns out it was actually just other types of bug biting her – probably mosquitoes or a spider.
        Definitely keep that bug carcass. The dog will sniff it and give you a positive ID.

    • Could it be postpartum depression (left untreated) that morphed into long-term depression? This has been known to happen.

      • This – or the PPD was untreated and caused other problems (marital, physical, trust) that increase unhappiness. Sorry 🙁

        • hammers

          Well, she had her first children in the early 70s, and my brother and I in the late 80s. I know she has mentioned before that she had 2 miscarrages between the two “sets”. I wonder if that is it. Her marriage to my father in the late 80s was such a disaster for her, I assumed that was the reason for her unhappiness, this was the first time I heard her pin it down to a timeframe.

          • Do you have a child? (this isn’t a “if you don’t, you won’t understand”). But as a mom, I can say there are any number of things that can trigger depression, esp if a traumatic event took place at some point related to mothering (miscarriage, near death, injury). Maybe she had trouble nursing or felt guilt about working (or not working). I’m sorry she’s going through this, but PPD can stick around indefinitely because hormones are….annoying

          • hammers

            No, I do not have a child, but even as a non-mom, I know that many things can trigger depression. I just am coming into adulthood with new understanding of why my mom is the way she is; I never knew any differently growing up, I just always assumed she hated me. It’s caused a lot of pain for both of us and I was interested to learn a new facet: i.e. the timeline.

    • So sorry about the mom situation – that’s tough. I had a few revealing events happen recently where all of a sudden I was confronted with realities about my parents that I sort of knew about but never confronted directly. It’s no fun.

      • Emmaleigh504

        My mom keeps blabbing stuff to me that I just don’t want to know. One day out of the blue she mentioned that she was surprised that she was still married to my dad. She thought they would be divorced for some reason, but it turns out people she marriages she thought would last didn’t. She did end the convo on a happy note. She decided one reason she was still my dad is because he still makes her laugh all the time.

      • Allison

        Now that I’m an “adult,” sometimes I feel like I’m meeting my parents for the first time. It’s like they’re not the people my little brain assumed they were when I was a kid. It’s unsettling.

        • hammers

          agreed. my dad is no longer the man who can do no wrong, and my mother is no longer the woman of made of nothing but pure unadulterated spite.

    • I think I have bed bugs. Where did you find it? I just wake up super itchy every morning and I am freaking out.

      • hammers

        I saw the bug on the wall near my bed. Are you just itchy or do you have actual identifyable bite marks? If you are just itchy, it could be something like dry skin. My cousin says in the winter if she doesn’t use a humidifier she will itch all day. If you have bite marks, you should definately do an inspection (there is TONS of info on the internet about this) or hire someone to come look. I guess I got “lucky” that I saw the bugger

        • I LOVE my humidifier. I used to wake up with sore throats/itchy skin and sticking a humidifier in my room made all the difference.

      • I have terribly itchy skin right now due to the dry weather. I should be lathering myself in moisturizer everyday (I don’t ‘cuz I’m a lazy dude like that).

  • My question of the day: Anyone live/know people who’ve lived in Wakefield Hall apartments (near U St.) or The Baystate (near Dupont)? Opinions? Clearly my room-hunting quest isn’t going so well, so I’m putting some feelers out for studio apartments.

    • Do you mind if I ask your general budget again? I don’t know those two buildings but may have another place to recommend.

      • Well, I was aiming for under $1200 (including utilities!) for a room, but that’s not realistic for an apartment, so now I’m going for as cheaply as possible, preferrably around $1400-$1500. I’m honestly still hoping for a room but I figure I should explore other options. And I am on affordable dwelling unit waitlists at a few places but that could take forever.

        • It might be just out of your price range, buy you might want to look into the Eddystone apartments in Logan Circle. I lived there just after grad school and loved it. The building is pretty no frills — no dishwashers, shared laundry, no parking — but the studios are spacious and bright, the building is extremely well managed, and the location is wonderful. There is some form of rent stabilization, so the prices are relatively low, but each unit is priced differently. As of a few years ago, there were still some real deals there (I think I paid ~$1400 in 2011 for a relatively gigantic studio on a high floor).
          If this makes any sense for you, I recommend going there in person and asking for Barbara, the manager. She can give you a good sense of what units are available or will be soon. I did this and signed a lease the same day.

        • You should check out income based apartments. There are these buildings in Columbia Heights that are $1209 a month utilities included for a 1 bedroom. http://www.olympia-tottenapartments.com/

        • I would also check out the State House on 22 and Q. I used to live there and loved it. I think they’re about $1300 for a studio now and it’s two blocks from the Dupont metro.

          • There are also a couple of places just over the bridge into Gtown. Borger, Bernstein, and Stoladi each have buildings on Q St where you could get a studio in your price range.

        • There’s a studio at Parkside (another WC Smith property) in Adams Morgan going for $1325. The location’s not as convenient, but it’s still only a 20 minute walk to Dupont and the 42 goes down Columbia Rd.

        • You might also look at the Croydon at 17th & Swann. I think studios are about your price range. (I pay a little less thanks to rent control and 12 years’ residence.) No frills building, but the location is pretty great, and there is a parking lot, if that is needed. Utils included – at least, electric water, heat and — central air conditioning; honestly, sometimes I think that’s why I’ve stayed so long!
          (It’s managed by Borger, whom I have found to be fine, though I know everyone has different experiences.)

    • Roommate hunting going just as poorly. Best of luck!

      • Andie302

        Sorry to hear this for both of you! Fingers crossed I THINK I have found someone for the two rooms available in my place in March and April. We’re meeting the April (potential) roommates dog on Thurday.

      • Gah! I’m sorry! Good luck to you, too! I would be happy to be your roommate if it wasn’t quite so far from work/school.

        • Thanks. I’m sure it would be swell, but that’s a long commute. If you find an awesome dog friendly 2bed, give me a shout.
          I feel like I’ll find someone for March but have to eat February. My friend had even worse issues trying to find someone for cohi.

      • This is a tough time of year. We usually didn’t have any trouble filling our basement apartment, but the one time we listed in January, it took a lot longer. Good luck to all of you!

    • binpetworth

      Friend of mine has a studio in Wakefield and loves it. Her closet is big enough to hold her bed so she created a sleeping nook there. She started renting about three years ago, and her studio is only $1250.

      • Oh, awesome! Thank you! Yes, it’s really a perfect location and a good price, even if it’s not really full of fancy features.

      • And the Wakefield studio is gone. Damnit. Wasn’t meant to be. Contacted them to see if anything will be open later this spring.

    • I lived in the Baystate from 2004-2009. Really convenient and has a small gym in the basement. If you move there befriend the office manager because you’ll get better service. It had a mice problem for a long time but that ended. Also, if you can afford it get an exterior unit. It made me happier to move from an interior to exterior.

    • I lived in Wakefield hall for a year and a half- 2008-2009 and LOVED it. The location is absolutely fantastic, on-sight management, and the units themselves were nice for the price. Is Wendy still the building manager there? I would definitely keep in touch to check availability. I have only rented 1 place in DC, but I will say I never experienced any of the issues or horror stories I’ve heard about elsewhere. William C Smith didn’t pull any funny business with us and our on-sight manager was a true gem. If you have a car, ask about getting on the waiting list for parking straight off the bat, bc the only downside is that street parking in that area is very tight.

      • Thank you! I sent them an email this morning to ask about the apartments and what will be available but honestly I might just give them a call this afternoon. If I lived/worked closer I’d just walk over!

    • Pablo Raw

      @FridayGirl I think I found something that may interest you (apartments); please e-mail me if you see this. raw dot pablo at gmail dot com.

  • Rant: Dating as a 20-something in DC. I’ve been hanging out with this guy since December. We’ve progressed to seeing each other at least 2 times a week, sleeping over one another’s apartments, etc. BUT we haven’t had The Talk about whatever it is that we’re doing and it’s starting to bother me! I could ask if he wants to see each other exclusively, but I really don’t want to be disappointed if the answer is no…

    Rave: Quarterly review at work today. Fingers crossed I get that little raise I’m hoping for and that the feedback is mostly positive!

    • I agree with your rant. Relationships are strange things in the first place, DC makes it even more difficult. If I were you, I’d really just ask him. So far in DC, I’ve dated a guy who I was exclusive with who felt he needed more space (when I was staying over on weekends, and then sometimes hanging out during the week) and one who complained that wasn’t enough time together but never had the intention of making things exclusive. Everyone’s different!

      • As someone who’s (I) old, and (ii) married, and (iii) hasn’t dated in a long, long time, I have no contribution that would be remotely useful. But, I’m curious – I’ve heard “DC makes it even more difficult” on several occasions, and it’s always puzzled me. Why is that?

        • To quote Sam Seaborn on the West Wing: “Because this country is populated with unbalanced people. Many of whom find their way to Washington. As if the continent funnels them into this one spot.”
          But seriously, I think it’s because we have a really large percentage of the population with really big aspirations, and so finding the time to date that fits two highly-motivated people’s schedule is a little tricky. Then again, I could be completely wrong on this.

          • Cinnamonster

            Ahh! This is a great call. I also suspect the nature of DC being geared towards results – towards elections and passing bills and everything – makes the stakes feel even higher. Also, always a good call to quote Sam Seaborn. Bless his sweet, romantically-ridiculous heart.

          • That (great quote, btw), and as I learned from my older brother’s friend, most guys aren’t looking to get serious. They hate that girls “expect dates” or “expect to get serious” (I was warned not to be one of “those” girls when I first moved to DC). It always seems like the good guys are taken or are incompatible, the mediocre ones need to grow up, the d-bags lie to your face to get whatever they want, and then there’s the ambitious ones, who work 24/7, network, and needs to “fit you in”. I’m sure guys see it the same way about girls – maybe with different labels.
            (Note – I think most of that is crap, but it’s the typical girls night rant and it mostly has to do with meeting as many people and different personalities as possible before you find someone compatible)

          • Yeah, I guess Sam Seaborn has never lived in New York City . . . or Los Angeles . . . or pretty much any major city.

          • Pablo Raw

            I agree with Cinnamonster, and I also suspect that the online dating is to blame for this problem. Think about it, “back in the days” (insert Simpsoms grandpa voice here) you had to go to a place, meet people in person, get numbers, have a conversation, etc. before going on a date. There was some investment to do. Today, people join a website and immediately they have thousands of people willing to go on a date. As it has been mentioned here, a person goes on a first date today and a first date tomorrow. I’m not saying it didn’t happen back in the day, but today it seems to be easier and there is less personal investment on dating someone. Full disclosure: I don’t have much experience dating online, and the 2 times I dated girls, they were both nuts each one in her own way. NUTS. No, I don’t consider all women to be like that, I guess I was just “lucky”. I also think grandpa Simpsom is pretty awesome and funny.

          • hammers

            I import my men from other states.

          • Hammers, LOL at “I import my men from other states”!

        • Cinnamonster

          I’ve heard that too and as a recent DC transplant (who is single and thinking about dating) it made me puzzled! Maybe it’s because of the transient nature (somewhat) of the city – many people who move here will probably pack up and head out after a few years?

        • I’ve lived in the DC area for 20 years and dated throughout that time. There’s nothing inherent about DC or the people here that make dating any more difficult than it is in other places. Dating, in general, is difficult . . . except when it isn’t.

        • This thread makes me simultaneously relieved beyond belief (for myself) and terrified (for my daughter). I met my wife on a blind date. My four significant (different from serious) relationships before her were, in order, someone I met in college, someone I met in law school, a setup by a former classmate, and someone I worked with. I feel like a dinosaur.
          BTW, my respect for FridayGirl increased due to the West Wing reference. Nicely done.
          “And it turns out that I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now, would you please in the name of compassion tell me which one of those kids is my boss’s daughter?
          That would be me.
          . . . Well, this is bad on so many levels.”

          • Haha! I love the West Wing.
            Also, honestly, I am quite envious of you — while I’m glad technology has made it a little easier to talk to more people (as somewhat of an introvert), I really wish the reality of dating today was … different.

          • HA! Thanks for the flashback. I love West Wing. Must rewatch from the beginning again sometime.

          • @FridayGirl: To be fair, dating back in the dark ages wasn’t all sunshine and roses. Time has a way of putting rose-colored glasses on us. I still have to overcome my innate awkwardness, which was no small thing. I can see how technology makes it great to meet people, but magnifies the jackass tendencies of those who already have them.
            @mtpresident: I watched all of West Wing on Netflix a couple of years ago – it really holds up. The early episodes – the Sam Seaborne years – are just fantastic. It’s in my top 5 of favorite TV shows ever.

    • 2 months at most seems like a good time for some and too soon for others. He could have the same fears, so I think you should initiate the talk if the uncertainty is making you uncomfortable.

    • Ah yes…”THE” talk. Approach it delicately and from a positive place, not a place of uncertainty or insecurity.

    • Haha I’m trying to decide if I’m at the “I know we’re exclusive, etc., but do you see a future with me?” question. I decided to table it since I decided I want as much time as possible with my guy… and really, there’s no rush on my end. Just curiosity since he’s interviewing for other opportunities.
      So I guess weigh how much you want to spend time with your guy with how much more heartbreak you’ll experience if it continues for another day/week and you realize there’s no future. Once the scale tips towards too much heartbreak (but not actually hitting it yet), then I’d ask.

      • It’s not necessarily the label (girlfriend) that I’m looking for, just exclusivity. We met online and in all of my other online dating experiences the guys were seeing multiple people and would rather continue playing the field than locking it in with one girl, so to speak. Even if we had a really great thing going, so many guys in my age rage are scared of commitment! Like, WHY?! I’m only 25 so it’s not like I’m eager to get married and settle down, but there’s not exactly a nice way to let someone know that without sounding totally crazy! Heartbreak is a stronger word that I would chose, but I would definitely be disappointed if we weren’t on the same page in regards to not sleeping with other people…

        • Totally get that. I guess in that case just straight up tell him that you haven’t really been seeing anyone else at this point, and ask if he is?

        • If you think the settling-down aspect is too heavy and more than you really need right now, you can always frame it as a conversation about health and STDs. B/c if you’re sleeping together, you should want to have that conversation anyway.

    • I tend to ask about exclusivity after about a month, because generally at that time is when things are physical and I’m not really okay with the idea of not being exclusive when that is happening. So I think it’s totally fair to bring it up now and see where he is. It’s better to know now then waste more time if he’s not interested in being exclusive, right?

    • I hate the talk, but even worse than the talk is the lead up/dance around to see if the other person will initiate it first. Good luck!

    • Ally

      Yeah, I remember that to all be quite confusing. I tended to bring that up before any sort of long-term intimacy (no judgment at all), just because I’m personally bad at juggling. And the timing just seems to be totally variable for different people. My fiance asked to be exclusive on our 2nd date. Kid you not. Creeped me out at the time, but worked out very well.

      Maybe one approach you could take is to say something like, “I’ve enjoyed the last few weeks/months. I don’t do well at juggling, so I don’t plan on seeing other people. If you do, if you could let me know so we’re on the same page about expectations, I’d appreciate it.”

      • The second-date thing happened to me once. Frankly I thought it was awesome.

        • Ally

          Yeah, normally I’d agree, but, in my case, it also coincided with the first “I love you” being said during ..umm.. a rather intimate moment. So, some red flags were going off for me. Now that everything worked out, I just take it as a compliment. 😉

          • OH. In that case, that’s a little awkward. Hahaha.

          • Eesh. So awkward. Works out well for you that you stuck with him, though!

          • Ally

            Yeah, I like to joke with him now that my girlfriends all had the same reaction in unison to the “I love you” timing: “Dump him!” Those same girlfriends all now think he’s fantastic. Makes me wonder if this city gal was a bit jaded that I found it weird in the first place.

          • hammers

            So I sleep talk and even have sleep conversations and apparently I said “I love you” very early into my new relationship! OOPS!!!! Luckily for me it didn’t scare him away. We haven’t said it lucidly since and this was about 3 months ago. I was MORTIFIED.

        • I remember initiating “the talk” once fairly early on (maybe 4th or 5th date?), and the guy was surprised and pleased because he wasn’t sure I was all that interested in him.

      • I heard some statistic like it takes men a much shorter time to fall in love than it takes women. Like, women need several weeks, men only need like 2 dates. But yeah, Boy and I were talking about when we became like accidentally exclusive this weekend, and we both weren’t dating anyone else from like date 1 on. Definitely was a nice surprise.

    • I’m in the same boat. We’ve already said we’re not having sex with anyone else, but we also haven’t had The Talk. We already hang out or sleep over multiple nights per week, but I have no idea if she’s my “girlfriend.” That said, it’s sort of nice not having to define anything right now. There’s no pressure on either of us and we both work a ton. I’m just worried that she’s feeling apprehensive about the situation; I’d feel bad if she’s stressing about it internally.

  • Rave: Just starting reading A Constellation of Vital Phenomena and it is fantastic so far. A librarian friend recommended it to me and so far it does not disappoint.
    Rave: Waiting on four more law school answers but I am really pleased with my current options. I’m getting excited for preview weekends over the next couple months.
    Rant: The office dishwasher causes so much drama.
    Rant: Sinus infection/sore throat has thrown me off my exercise routine for the past few days. Hoping to get back to it tonight.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Wiccan Housesitter came over and made arepas cooked in coconut oil. Tasty!
    Rave: Even though I hate Donald Trump we watched “Celebrity Apprentice” which was kinda fun.
    Rant: Two dudes screaming when Joan Rivers suddenly rose from the dead and appeared as a judge.
    Rave: Bad Joan Rivers jokes. Too soon? I think Joan would approve.
    Rant: You know one thing that’s not in my wheelhouse, the over usage, and incorrect usage of the word “wheelhouse.”

  • Rant: Still a mess over the ex stuff from yesterday. Bit more angry than sad though, so hopefully that will help me get over it… I just feel sort of led on. I so rarely get angry though, it’s exhausting.
    Rant: Think the guy I went on a date with last week that I liked is pulling a fade. Just the cherry on top that I needed.
    No raves today. Except that it’s quiet at work, so I’m looking up cute animal videos and listening to music to distract myself.

    • Aw. You will get through this!!!

    • So sorry to hear what happened with the ex. Take care of yourself– I recommend a Starbucks break and always say “yes” when they ask about whipped cream. 🙂

    • Sorry littlen. Hope you find more to rave about. The second rant about the fade is pretty much modern dating. Why don’t people explicitly say they’re not interested anymore?

    • Sounds like you need a drink with a good friend or a chance to pick up your favorite hobby for an evening… I hope you find something good to focus on soon :-/

      • I’m busy most days this week at least, so that will help. I just had nothing to do yesterday, which didn’t really help (although I was also not in any shape for company so it was just as well). Going to see if I can pull something together for today. I usually keep myself really busy with social things because I definitely get down with too much time to think about things, heh.

        • A good friend doesn’t care what shape you’re in. I had a friend who was on my couch crying about once a month. And I feel you. I had something bad happen 2 years ago now, didn’t have time to process it then, and then ended up processing everything a year later, which made it more difficult.
          Remember that you are wonderful, Popville enjoys your contributions (when they’re good), share your pain, and things will get better eventually.

    • Sorry to hear about the whole situation and that you’re upset. Take of yourself!
      Have you thought about talking to a professional about it? There was a recent study that showed that those who talked to someone about their breakup got over it faster. Why someone needed to fund that study is beyond me, but it’s a good reminder that having a sounding board can help.

      • That might not be a bad idea… especially since I’ve had depression issues in the past. I’ve felt like it’s been under control the last year or two, but it might be a good idea. Thanks.

        • It really might be worth investing in a few sessions just to help you sort through your feelings.

          Do you have a gym membership? Pounding on a bag might really help too. Hitting things always helps me to feel better.

          • No gym membership (out of my budget unfortunately), but my apartment building has a mini-gym with a few treadmills. I hate running, but I’ve been making myself do it more and it does help a bit. Otherwise a punching bag would probably be a great idea, haha.

          • hammers

            not sure where you live, but if in Petworth, the yoga heights studio has some pay what you can nights/donation nights and I think they even have scholarships. Maybe treat yourself to one of those. Hopefully the longer days and the promise of warmer weather will help too.

          • saf

            Lighthouse Yoga also has donation classes.

    • Andie302

      Sorry again about what happened. Thinking of you!

    • I’m sorry about the ex and the fade. 🙁 I hope you’re able to move past this quickly — take care of yourself!

    • Ally

      Sorry to hear that. And what makes you think the new one is pulling a fade? Is is suddenly really busy, or have emails/texts gone unanswered. I swear there are good men out there. You just sometimes have to encounter a lot of toads first.

      • Texts have been going unanswered. We’ll see, I’ll give it a bit more time. On Sunday he asked “Are we on for Monday?” even though we hadn’t said when we were meeting up next, and then immediately after said that actually he forgot he had something. I think he may have thought I was someone else, lol. I said when I’m free this week but haven’t heard. I’m not very hopeful right now. And yeah, I’m sure there must be but I’ve had very bad dating/relationship experiences. This last one was the first really good one, which is why I’ve had a tough time with it ending – especially since I’ve had to reconcile that relationship wasn’t what I thought it was, since he hid big things from me and didn’t communicate. I keep trying at least!

        • Ally

          Yeah, this new guy isn’t off to a banner start (him being an arse, not anything you did). I’d put him on probation in your head. I know I sound like an old hen (so sorry in advance), but just remember that boundaries can be a really important thing in relationships. Took me a very long time to read that. Not okay to hide major things from you or to not communicate or (in the case of the new guy) to be flaky. You deserve better, and there are lots on men just hoping to date someone seriously… they get put on old while the flakes string along all the eligible women.

  • Rave: Back at work.
    Rant: Office seems super casual in some ways but stuffy in others.
    Rave: Met the nicest girl for a potential roomie. Came on time, confirmed ahead, and was very pleasant. In think she picked something closer to work but it gives me hope.
    Rave: No roommate= no need to put on pants!

  • Rant: Kiddo woke up at 5:30am & did NOT want to go back to sleep. I wish I knew what’s up with her sleep these days.
    Rave: At least I went to bed early last night? Might need to do the same tonight.
    Rave: Took some of the time to make french toast this morning.
    Rant: Couldn’t do much else with the “extra” time in the morning. Would have been nice to go to a yoga class or out for a run or something.
    Rave: Work from tieing together the hot water systems is almost done! Plumbing was completed Friday, and drywall repair, painting, and pantry-creation are nearly finished! Yay!

  • Rant: Dating, in DC and in general. Tinder is great, meeting people the old fashion way is awesome too, but I definitely sense some sort of karmic justice at play here. Between people being “too busy” (which i know is a bs excuse – there’s 24 hours in a day, and if you use them all, you can make time for anything), and the abundance of online options, it just generally seems like a daunting, soulless and cyclical process. Meet up with 3 people, agree mutually with one that there’s no chemistry, which leaves you with 2. The one you’re not so wild about, turns out to really be into you, while the one you ARE into, vanishes. And the cycle repeats, every….single….week.
    Rave: This shit is all a numbers game. Moneyball dating FTW.

    • Ugh, all of this… Anyone know if dating is slightly better in other cities? Sometimes I wonder. Although I would be hard-pressed to give up my great friends here…

    • YES. THIS.

      • The busy excuse is such BS. I hated that because when you really like someone you want to be with them, whether that means not getting enough sleep, having a shorter work out, or whatever! FWIW, friends in other cities have/had the same problems. It’s just dating.

        • I disagree on some points. My time is important, so is my sleep, so is my working out, so is my job, and so are certain friends. No matter how much I like someone, I’m not going to prioritize them over some of those basic needs. So, yes, when I like someone I will make time for them ~in other ways~, but I will not sacrifice certain priorities, and I do not expect the same in return. In fact, it freaks me out if someone demands or expects me to make those types of sacrifices on the reg. *but fwiw, there are certain activities that can be substituted for sleep at no net loss 😉

          • I see it as a give and take. I am not saying to sacrifice all those things all the time. If I want to hang out with someone I am going to even if I am tired. BUT I might ask if we can make it an early night. Maybe see each other from 7:30-9:30 rather than until 11pm. If they don’t understand that, then yeah that’s a problem. And as you said, you’ll make time for them in other ways. So maybe it’s not sleep or working out, but substitute x activity.

          • hammers

            I agree with Kanon/disagree that busy is BS. Not everyone can be on all the time, and busy means different things to different people. If I have 2 or 3 things going on after work in a week, for some that would not be busy, but for me that is incredibly busy and draining. I need time to myself to recharge my batteries, and I’d rather say I’m busy and try to reschedule for when I’ll have more emotional/physical energy. Admittedly, a lot of people use the busy excuse as a way to blow someone off while trying to spare their feelings.

    • Question: I recently downloaded Tinder but haven’t really done much with it. Browsing through today I saw a guy’s long diatribe that in essence said “Ladies, Tinder is a hookup app. Stop trying to come here for a relationship.” Is it just for hookups or not? Have people actually had success using it to start a relationship?

      • I’ve come across quite a few people saying they aren’t interested in hook-ups. I think it depends on the person.

      • I have several friends who met their boyfriend/girlfriend on Tinder. I think it is used a lot for hookups, but there are definitely people open to something more serious as well.
        That said, I find it more difficult for that than OKC or other dating sites, but it’s certainly possible.

      • Everyone on Tinder who I know, men and women, use it for hookups. That’s not a big population, though – 25 people. 8 are women. Unfortunately, at least 3 of the 25 are in “exclusive” relationships.

      • To be perfectly honest, I used Tinder for both hook ups and actual dating. I think the fair thing to do is if you aren’t looking for a hook up, you say that. I also saw quite a few people not looking for hook ups when I was on. FWIW, I met my boyfriend on Tinder and it’s been great.
        One thing I wanted to share with you guys is that I had the same sort of experience with dating. The cycle, the fades, the clingers, everything. What helped me was to lower my expectations. I know it sounds crazy and completely counter-intuitive, but just going slightly outside my norm allowed me to meet guys who were honestly nice people that I wouldn’t have gone for before. When I met my BF, the only expectation I lowered was geography. I’m not saying let all the assholes and dude-bros in, but just really think about what makes you swipe left and what makes you swipe right.

      • Thanks for the info, everyone! I think Tinder is probably not a good fit for me but I feel like I’m tapped out on OKC. Maybe I’ll give it a try while being clear about my intent and see how it goes.

      • What is the age limit on Tinder? How old is too old?

        • I think it skews younger but I’m in my late 30s and there seem to be a lot of guys in that age range. Hope that helps.

    • Co-signed, it is a really frustrating process. The people I know who’ve done well with it were basically going on dates like it was a full time job, which does NOT appeal to me.

    • Mug of Glop

      Yuuuuup, pretty much this all the time. Texting back and forth pretty consistently, but then when I ask if they want to go out again, and I get the response “Absolutely! But I’m super busy this weekend.”, I’m never sure if that’s legitimate of just an excuse. But then they keep texting back! Being super neurotic about this stuff also throws some wrenches in the haystack, if you’ll allow me to incoherently mix metaphors.

      • Oh, the texting. I try to limit the texting when just starting dating after all the texting mishaps I’ve had in the past. I do not need additional stress caused by non response to texts. I now just text to plan and confirm dates.

      • Ally

        I’d see what happens if you don’t text back for a few days. Very quick and easy way to gauge interest level.

        • Mug of Glop

          I do that sometimes, but I’d hate to inadvertently be the subject of another’s complaints about not seeming interested enough. Then again, I’m almost certainly over-thinking every aspect of this whole process.

          • Ally

            I’d only do the “no texting for a few days” thing in response to flaky, fading behavior from the potential S.O.

      • I usually chalked the “busy” line up to nicely saying, ‘No thanks.” If they didn’t have a counter time proposal, I’d just not initialize any more communication with them. Now if they’re the ones initalizing the text message after saying they’re busy, well, that’s a little odd.

      • They may just be super busy! But also, sometimes maintaining text contact is either to keep someone in the rotation or sometimes its just an ego thing to have someone to flirt with every now and again. I have a tinder friend from November; we never actually met and we both ended up dating other people. He’s still in the relationship, I’m single, but we still text weekly. Now it’s more of a friendship and I enjoy it; we don’t have the expectation of ever really meeting.

    • I was in my mid 30’s before I began to realize how damaging hooking up was to me and those with whom I did it. I eventually lucked out and got married and have a child. I don’t look back on those “wild” days as with any fondness at all.

      When I read this blog, I hear a contradictory “dual voice” that both praises hooking up and laments how terrible dating is due to fading, dishonesty, etc. And I can relate as I lived it for 20 years myself. And now with Tinder and all of the choices people have, I can see things have gotten worse. I truly feel for people who honestly want to share their lives exclusively with abother person – the “free to do whatever I want” culture is working against you.

      • Ally

        Yeah, same here. Though, speaking from experience, while I’m quite happy to be settled down with a wonderful man and with a baby on the way, I don’t necessarily regret my past wild times. I think you can have casual relationships that are quite fun, and serious relationships that are quite meaningful. Things just tend to go sour when the two try to mix.

        • And they invariably mix. Sometimes you have to look out for people’s best interest, in spite of their expressed desire that you do otherwise. All of the goodness you will wish for your “too soon will be a teen” baby are the best aspirations for yourself and others.

    • The best thing about having an abundance of options is also the worst thing about having an abundance of options – for many people, the more options they have the less likely they are to choose any of them. A lot of people figure that since there are thousands of people on online dating sites so there is always someone better out there. But eventually you have to settle; everybody does.

      • ” A lot of people figure that since there are thousands of people on online dating sites so there is always someone better out there. ”
        Yes, this is SO true. I’ve found myself doing it, and I get sad for other people when I see them do it. I’ve heard people flat out talk about dating/relationships as a business decision, not a matter of the heart, and it’s so frustrating.

  • palisades

    Rant: It’s on Tuesday.
    Sidenote: Hey PoP, I noticed the 7th Hill Pizza place on MacArthur in the Palisades is open. I can snap a pic this weekend if you’d like.
    Double-sidenote: Hugh and Crye, the menswear store, announced on Facebook that they are moving out of their tiny location in Georgetown.

  • Rant: After lots of research, question-asking and pro-con listing, we’re no closer to making the Big Family Decision. We’re still missing important pieces of information that will make a big difference in the outcome and the wait for those things is really, really hard. This process could be a lot more drawn out than I expected and I sort of just want to make a decision already.
    Rave: Date night. Hard conversations and decision-making are a lot easier when they’re at a nice restaurant, face-to-face with the person you love.
    Rave: Earl Gray tea. I bought some of this after one of you (sorry I forget who!) recommended black tea for migraines, and it has been a delight. I actually crave it and wish I had some with me right now. It’s also helping me with my caffeine weaning process.
    Rave: It’s supposed to be in the 50s tomorrow!

    • early gray! I am the one single handedly destroying the box of it at my office, I’m pretty sure (we have like 5 different tea boxes). It’s the best.

    • Mmmmm Earl Grey Tea. I’m also big into Jasmine Green Tea and Caramel Black tea. Really I just leave tea. Glad you’ve found one you enjoy! Beware though – black tea still packs a punch in terms of caffeine (or teaine – why don’t we have this word in English? It exists in French and Spanish!), albeit not nearly as much as coffee!

      • Yummm — jasmine. A friend once brought me back jasmine flowers from Istanbul and they make the most delicious and beautiful tea. Even jasmine-flavored tea makes me happy. I used to be a big tea person, hooked on Earl Grey, jasmine, and darjeeling, but over time I’ve gravitated more to coffee. I think it’s time to gravitate back to tea.

    • Emmaleigh504

      If you like Earl Grey try Lady Grey and Lady Londonderry, too. Both are delish!

    • Yay! Glad you’re enjoying the tea. Hope it helps with the migraines as well. If the Earl Gray doesn’t cut it, try plan black tea (like lipton or something similar).

      • I’m glad you reminded me who you were! I couldn’t remember if it was you or MPinDC who mentioned black tea. I’ve been migraine free for a few days now, so I’ll give you and the tea credit 🙂

    • Your vagueness is killin’ me, Shawess 😀
      RAVE: free upgrade to 1st class on the Acela today
      RAVE: oysters and martinis with a friendwhen I get into NYC
      RAVE: scored an awesome deal at the Gild Hotel in NYC. One block from the office and way nicer than that run down Hilton and Courtyard by Marriot that my coworkers insist on staying in.
      RANT: holy crap balls, I need to finish a report and deck before I arrive in NYC. Should have been done yesterday, despite the fact that I was in the office until midnight 😮
      RAVE: subletter moves in today. Cleared out my closet and drawers in one hour; boxes are in the basement. I’m gone for the month!

    • I think I could hazard a good guess but I won’t steal your thunder. 😉

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Morning insomnia is back. I deal with night time insomnia so much better.
    Rant: Shameless has got to stop with the dude singing to Fiona. It gives me so much Fremdscham! I can’t even look at it.
    Rave: silk long underwear keeps my legs warm in the cold.

  • Rave: The NY AG taking on the supplement industry. Those products are snake-oil and the prefect example of what happens when you don’t have regulation.

    • +1. There was an interesting article in the New York Times a while back about how the supplement industry had successfully lobbied Orrin Hatch (I think a lot of the industry is in Utah) and others to avoid regulation.

      • It’s the wild west out there, but there are some supplements that are verified through third party standard setters. Most of Nature Made and Kirkland brand supplements are USP Verified. They both have ads explaining it, I’m sure you can google them.

  • Rave: The days are getting noticeably longer. Holding that knowledge close is helping me stick it out until spring.
    Rant: So slow at work. I know I should just enjoy the lull. But aigh, people need things to do.

    • hammers

      it was incredible, I left work yesterday after 5 and it was still light out. I felt like a person and not a zombie. although it was dark by the time I got off the metro again.

  • Thanks for featuring my photo, Popville! 🙂

  • Rave: tacos tonight! a third of my diet might accidentally be tacos
    Rant: pre-morning-cup-of-tea-me should really not answer emails until I get the cup of tea. Totally mixed up a case name which was embarrassing.
    Rant: still can’t find low/no heel work shoes that aren’t flats (which hurt my arches). It doesn’t help I am a super picky shoe shopper, but a lot of places (rack, marshalls etc) seems to just be really low on selection. Is it just me or the seasonal transition slump?

    • When I’m looking for a lower heal, I look online or at DSW. Good luck!

    • I saw a bunch of low heeled Cole Haan pumps on sale on 6pm.com, the Zappos outlet site.

    • topscallop

      I just got some low wedges at DSW. I think they’re Nine West but I saw some other similar ones there as well. It looked like they were in the process of transitioning the stock, so maybe keep checking?

    • Try Vionic shoes. They carry some styles at Comfort One in Chinatown.

    • I like Delandria by Easy Spirit. I walk to work (~2 miles each way) and wanted a shoe that I could wear that wasn’t sneakers and wouldn’t kill my feet. It has a slight wedge heel and good support. If you’re interested in going a bit higher, I’ve also found LifeStride’s Julianna Wedge to also be pretty comfortable. I really like the gray ones. I got both of these at DSW.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: I love almond milk and thought I’d try cashew milk on a whim. Gross (but not as gross as soy milk). I should have remembered that I don’t really like cashews.
    Rave: Four-hour training yesterday didn’t actually last four hours.
    Rant: The trainers were from New Orleans, and one of them had such a Yat accent. So homesick now.

  • Looking for help from the collective wisdom of Popville. I need a good male wedding planner. Friends of mine are getting married, they have interviewed female planners, I think a male perspective may bring a different vibe. I want them to consider both sexes before making a final decision.

    • skj84

      If you don’t mind me asking, why do you think a male planner would bring a different vibe?

    • Why are you involved (or trying to be involved) in your friends’ wedding planning?

      • I was asked for my assistance in the search. Why look for a male, good question. Why not?

        • Ahh, good to know — I thought you were intervening unasked, which was making me think of Erms’s “Drama Friend.”

          • Ahahahahahaha she would just start planning everything and shove it in your face. Sounds like Moon is a much better friend than Drama Friend 🙂

          • Planning a wedding now without a wedding planner so can’t really give you a recommendation. However, I have pretty much found every vendor (except photographer) through weddingwire, the knot, and my venue. Do they have a venue yet? If so, ask them for recommendations. Mine gave me a folder with a ton of vendor recommendations.

    • Try Mode Events.

      • Thanks to all that responded and commented. My friends are two guys, I was instructed to make a good run at adding another planner to the pool before a final decision was made. POPvill and his crew of experts was my final stop.

  • laduvet

    Rave: Worked on my painting last night and its really abstract but I am loving it – hope to surprise the crowds at next weeks gallery reception!

    Rant: 9 days of this darn sniffle, sniffle, cough, cough…

    Rave: new apartment means purging the old and getting rid of “dead weight”!

  • skj84

    Rant: I’m over my job. I really want to believe in this company,but there is just to much disfunction. I’m worried right decisions are not being made. I’m glad to be employed, but I’m starting to dread coming into work.

    Rave: I have two shows coming up! Rehearsals are good distractions.

  • Rant: Package stolen – it was my big order of seeds for my garden. Street value = 0
    Rave-ish (?): First time in 15+ years of living in DC that a packages has been stolen

    • Ally

      That stinks (and sorry). [email protected] store a Florida Gator baby onesie from my doorstep a few months back. So very very tempted to empty the cat’s litter box into a special package for them.

    • Come Spring, you’ll know where the thief dropped them, though, right?

  • justinbc

    Not really a Rant, but after seeing it all day on Facebook, hearing the reactions on TV, and then going back and reading through yesterday’s RRR, it’s pretty clear I’m one of the few people who didn’t care for Missy Elliot’s halftime show interjection. I also didn’t really like her music 15 years ago when she was actually relevant though, so it’s no surprise. Give me more robot lions and dancing sharks anytime.

    • Ally

      +1 on the sharks. And, just curious, what didn’t you like about Missy Elliot’s performance (style of music, the performance itself, etc.)?

    • skj84

      Some people have been speculating it was a tiger rather than a lion. But yeah, the sharks were hilarious. Team Left Shark!

    • This years half time show was the worst I’ve ever seen. KP was to juvenile for my taste. LK made all of the moves of a rock star but there was no star power behind his 2 minutes on stage. Missy was just okay. IMO, Pink would have done a better job.

  • RAVE: leaving some windows open while I sleep to keep myself cool while the radiators blast heat into my apartment, and then stepping my groggy mind and chilly body into the stream of a hot shower. Oh. My. God.
    RANT: after an endless series of long, wonderful days and fun evenings with a new platonic friend, I could no longer stifle and hide the love I have for her. I wrote her a short letter telling her about this, and acknowledging that if she’s not interested, and if this means she’d want to curtail our intense socializing, it would still be better than spending precious time with her, hiding what I felt, and essentially being a bit disingenuous, and overextending and hurting my heart in the meantime. I’ve been trying the online dating thing again, and even went out on a few dates with these absolute strangers, but the entire time I was doing so was like buying a lottery ticket whose prize was what I already feel for her, i.e. desire, easy rapport, warmth, love, and a willingness to open my life up to somebody else.
    RAVE: despite all this, I’m in one of the best places in my life ever.

    • Good for you. Sitting on it wasn’t going to do either of you any good, so it’s great that you took the plunge. Fingers crossed that you get the answer you’re looking for!

      • Thanks! Frankly, I’ve grown so hopeless in the love department that I’m inclined to think the answer will always be “nope, sorry, not interested.” It’s a skewed perception, I know, but that’s how it feels.

        • I’m sorry it didn’t go your way. And I definitely know that feeling. But you have to keep reminding yourself that it’s a perception, not a fact.

          • I try to remind myself that most aspects of human life not determined by the immutable laws of physics are just subjective perceptions, not objective facts.

    • Andie302

      That’s awesome that you took the leap! Fingers crossed for the outcome you’re hoping for 🙂

    • You’re in love with a new friend? This sounds a lot like a crush. Given what you said yesterday, do you feel you are owed a relationship for being a friend to someone you are attracted to?

      • Sorry, I’m not trying to be a downer, but this raised some red flags for me: “I don’t understand why women are constantly seeking me out as a good friend and confidant, without wanting more. I really don’t think it’s fair to expect nothing but platonic feelings from me, especially when I’m a boyfriend in any other capacity, be it in time expenditures, rapport, and the love streaming out of my heart. “

        • +1. And there was something about “time expenditure” that sounded very transactional to me.

          • Well, in the sense that a transaction is “communication involving two or more people that affects all those involved,” then yes, what I was describing was a very “transactional” perception of my historical interaction with various human beings. It’s also just my particular style of writing and speaking, which has been described (by this woman, as a matter of fact) as “patrician.” I’m not a cold sociopath. I’m just a warm, happy, gregarious dude who is often very frustrated with my search for romance.

          • I mean “transactional” in the sense of “quid pro quo” — “I give X; I expect to get Y in return.”

        • Well, hey, I’m a single man in *serious* need of some love and affection. I’m also mortal, and will be dead sooner or later, so every moment I have on Earth is precious. It’s running out with every breath, so I have no shame or hesitance in embracing the notion that my first responsibility is to my personal pursuit of happiness. Consequently, any time I choose to spend socializing with someone I love (platonically or romantically) is time I didn’t spend doing other equally valuable things with the limited time I have left on planet Earth. Above all, I want to safeguard my heart from useless, unnecessary pain. Friendships that are touched by unrequited love, mine or my friend’s (having been on both sides), are huge energy sinks, and not too much fun for either party.

        • Agreed. It’s a little too “The Red Pill” for my tastes.

          • I can see that, maybe, but I’d love to hear more from you about this topic. I sincerely appreciate constructive criticism.

            Still, I would ask this of the universe in general: why should any person be willing to spend their time and energy on someone who wants diametrically opposed things from their time with that person?

      • Nope, not a crush. Something that’s really been chemically stewing in my person for about two months, having been friends with her since May or so. I know very, very well the mental and physiological differences between a crush and actual love.

        To answer your question, I’d say that no, I don’t feel like I am owed anything by anyone, ever. But friendships have, in the past, been known to develop into something more when I or the other party has decided to allow it to move there. I was hoping that she was, like me, perhaps just a bit too hesitant to move it forward, since we’d become such good friends, and frankly, because we live so very very close to each other that we both might want to avoid having our friendship/neighborship fraught in the future.

        As William Blake wrote, “he who desires, but acts not, breeds pestilence.”

        • It just sounds like you’ve been looking for love for awhile and put most of your proverbial eggs in one (or two) baskets over the past year. Have you been going on dates?

          • OMG, have I been going on dates. I’ve actually had my eggs in three baskets in the past year, one of which was a basket owned by an extraordinary narcissist, and the other two had baskets that were quite similar, with precisely the same outcomes.

            NONE of these baskets were owned by women I actually dated. There’s been plenty of that too, but that’s been sooooo disheartening.

          • the other two were similar to the extraordinary narcissist?
            Are you familiar with Nice Guy Syndrome?

          • You are my new favorite commenter. So much romance!
            I have a warning for you my friend. B’s don’t like romance. You need to take it out. Nice guys finish last.

          • No no, there was only one narcissist. It was educational! I meant that the other two women (i.e. not the narcissist) were similar to each other, both in the quality of the connection, and in how I felt towards them.

            Just looked up “Nice Guy Syndrome,” and I can tell you that it doesn’t describe me. I never befriend women who are involved with other people, and I don’t make friends with particular women with the intent of sneaking into their emotional lives. I was hesitant to even befriend the latest woman, having never befriended a neighbor before. Like I said before, I truly don’t feel like anyone owes anybody anything for any reason at all.

          • OK – I’m not sure anyone would ever actually claim that NGS fit them, but, as you can tell, I was concerned given the aforementioned seeming transactional framing of the friendships.
            Good luck and I’d save the romance for once you’re in a relationship.

  • Rant – I feel like I’m getting a cold. I’m run down, tired, and have a scratchy throat.
    Rant – My dog’s leash pulling makes me loose my cool sometimes. So many dog training videos and articles assume a person has access to nice quiet backyard where they can work on leash skills without distractions. What about us city people who live in apartments with no yards?
    Rave – This morning’s sunrise.

    • You may have tried this technique, but it TOTALLY worked for us, and we practiced only on city streets.

      First, we invested in a harness that had 2 clips — one on top the back that cinched tighter as you pull on it, and then one on the front. They have them at Wagtime for ~30 bucks. Huge difference for my lab/shepherd mix, who was a terrible puller.

      As to the technique part of it, the first thing you want to do is make a walk a sort of mission — no idle sniffing, no excessive marking, certainly no pulling. All of these things are dominance behavior. You are the leader and he is your obedient pack member. You want to create a “loose leash,” so your dog walks politely alongside you with a kind of J-shape in the leash with lots of slack. EVERY TIME he pulls or does anything you do not instruct him to do, you correct him, returning the slack in the leash. Treat when he heels politely and maintains your gait. Rinse and repeat. If he tries to go sniff something, correct him. Praise when he heels like a good boy. We make our dog sit at EVERY corner, and only rarely does he get to stop and say what up to dogs (otherwise it interrupts the “mission).

      • She has an no pull harness that clips in the front that keeps her from pulling too hard. Our issue is finding time to train while also walking her outside so she can go potty. If we stopped or changed direction every time she pulled, we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere because she is always pulling. We want be consistent with her, but at the same time we need to walk her down the street to the grassy area so she can do her business. Once she’s done in her potty area, we work on the training like you described, but it’s not going well.

        • I think the issue is that you have to correct the behavior every time regardless of whether she’s on a walk to pee/poop or on in a training session. Quick pivots where you turn back around up and down the block were really effective — they learn pretty quick that they need to be going the same direction as you.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rant: the idea that soon I’ll be enjoying 84-90 degrees weather is making me feel cold these days.
    Rant: 58% humidity at those temperatures feels different.
    Rave: can’t wait to be there. The food. ohhhh the food!

  • Ally

    Rant: Federal daycare centers all having a 1-2 year waiting list. This does not jibe with the biology of my pregnancy only lasting 10 months (think I can keep the kid in for another 6 months?!). Me and my (then not yet in existence) child should have apparently been applying back in 2012/2013, before I even started seeing the father. Lord.
    Rave: All the new places opening up at Eastern Market. It’s nice to have fun stuff walking distance from our house. Especially when there’s a bakery and sweets involved.

    • Ewwww, I knew having a kid in the city was difficult, but that’s ridiculous. They need more daycare centers. I hope you have access to other options!
      Also: Agree with your rave. I haven’t checked out the far end of Eastern Market/Barracks Row, but I’m a big fan of the restaurants there and Boy and I had our first date at a bar in Barracks.

      • Ally

        We’re on the wait list for 4 or 5 and are now starting to apply to the private facilities. I think it’s really a matter of how far you’re willing to commute to drop the baby off for care. Neither my fiance nor I have cars, so we’re a little restricted to areas that are close to us/where we work, or that are close to a metro. For those of you with cars, hopefully it’ll go a little more smoothly. Backup plan: Duct tape the crib to the wall (I am kidding). Worst case, we can hire a nanny, but boy are the expensive compared to regular daycare (which is also ridiculously expensive…about $2k a month).

        • we have a car. But we commute by metro (or bike for my husband). I picked EVERY center downtown remotely close to a metro stop. It also matters if your agency has priority placement (neither of ours do, DHS and DOD). I actually went to Bright Horizons corporate about the whole taking a wait list fee from feds while getting a subsidy from the gov for facilities, then having the balls not to have any info as to when you could expect a space. They definitely didn’t care.

          • Ally

            That’s good to know. I think we’ve already put in an application at Bright Horizons. It’s frustrating being #86 on some wait lists, further down on others, and having no idea where your kid will end up. I swear a daycare place would make a killing in DC if they could occupy a huge space, hire enough competent staff, and guarantee a spot for your baby. Just for the peace of mind of knowing that a spot was guaranteed, I’d pay through the roof.

    • Ally – I had a TON of issues with childcare. I’m happy to speak with you offline about it, but suffice to say don’t rely on fed centers. They’ll take your deposit money and then never call you. My son is 15 months old, I got on day care wait lists when I was 6 weeks pregnant (he was IVF, so it’s not like I didn’t know I was pregnant!) and only received ONE spot in a center (non-fed center, too). I was on 15 wait lists. I spent probably $700 on different wait lists. Private facilities aren’t any better. There are simply not enough day care or preschool options in DC. You might find, in the end, that a reall good nanny share is much more affordable and tolderable than day care. Like I said, happy to discuss with you offline about our experiences ([email protected]) if you need it!

        • I will say that one of the reasons I’ve been set on a nanny (it’s about $300 more a month or so than the one day care we got in to) is that I know she’s making a nice living. Most childcare workers are paid minimim wage, centers have high turnover, ect. With a nanny, our child can be under the weather and I can still go to work. She plans her vacations with our schedules in mind, she’s flexible, and appreciated. I think that’s lacking for many childcare workers….I personally did not want to be a part of that.

          • Ally

            That’s a very good point, and I’m glad to hear that the nanny option isn’t quite that much more expensive than the daycare option!

    • I would look into home daycares near your house, as well. They are often the cheapest option, and with the proximity and a good relationship, the caretaker can end up being part of your child’s life for a long time, doing babysitting, or emergency drop-in care once your child goes to school.


    • I don’t know how far along you are, but try contacting Small Savers. They’re currently in the GSA building while their permanent space is renovated. Feel free to have Dan put us in touch offline if you want to ask more questions. Their wait list is better managed than most, and we got in with our daughter pretty easily, though we did contact them early on.
      As for other federal centers, it’s really tough. The one silver lining to miscarrying my first pregnancy is that I was able to stay on wait lists while I tried again. And so I ended up with offers I likely wouldn’t have had otherwise. But Small Savers called first–and were highly recommended by a friend, so we went there. And have loved it ever since.
      The other advice I’d give is that once your baby is born, call everyone to let them know. And then call periodically to check in. I’ve heard that sometimes gently checking in can help move you up since you’re more of a sure thing if they’re trying to fill a spot. It’s tough, though. Good luck!

      • I called to check in many times, and a frightening number of them had no idea I had applied for the wait list. But they had no trouble cashing my wait list check!

        • Oh you’re kidding me. That was not my experience. Each place I called regularly could give me a status check when I called. I’m really sorry to hear that your applications were lost/not well-organized. Yuck,

  • Rant: I picked up a Pynchon book at the library and, 10 days into not reading it, am too intimidated to pick it up. I hate not finishing books, but it’s become a bad habit lately (Beautiful Swimmers, Thinking Fast and Slow, Rights Talk, Sleeping with Extra-terrestrials).
    Rant: I was working on something last night and made three soldering mistakes in ten minutes. It’s really frustrating to lose focus and then lose focus further because I’m frustrated at the initial loss of focus. It’s like a downward spiral of frustration and distraction leading to the sad abyss of having to step away from a project for a bit. THE SHAME OF IT ALL.
    Rave: I am glad Left Shark has been uncostumed (decostumed? stripped? de-plushified?) and is okay with having made so many people happy.

    • Bonus rave: internet goats. Sure, they will never be as popular as internet cats, but that’s fine. I live in a football town and prefer basketball. I can handle this. Also, I think I am going to change my dj name to Snuggle Goat.

    • Left Shark has been unmasked? I hope he still has a job.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Nancy Pearl, librarian extraordinaire, has these guidelines about not finishing books:
      1. It’s ok not to finish every book you start!
      2. If you are under 50, give the book at least 50 pages before you stop.
      3. If you are over 50, subtract your age from 100 and give the book at least that many pages.
      4. Don’t waste time on books that you don’t like.

    • jim_ed

      I think one of the better parts of reading as I get older is the ability to put a book down if it bores me, and not feel like a failure for doing so. Though, if I truly hate a book, I will usually finish it out of spite to be 100% confident in my hate of it – looking at you, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

      • I left Infinite Jest off my list above for fear of hipster reprisal. At least it looks cool on my bookshelf.
        Thanks for the support. I’m just surprised at how many books I haven’t finished lately. I think the last book I read was Bradbury’s Martian Chronicles, but that’s a really quick and easy book.

        • jim_ed

          I think the amount of people who have finished Infinite Jest vs the people who have read the wikipedia summary and claimed they’ve read it is very, very small. That said, I’ve never tried to tackle DFW or Pynchon because I think I secretly know I wouldn’t care for it, and when it comes to novels (I read about 50/50 fiction to non-fic), there are just so many others I really do want to read beforehand. Maybe this makes me a simpleton for not going after the most complex books, but eh, whatevs.

          • If you’re looking for a non-fiction book, Ataturk by Lord Kinross is fantastic.

          • What did you hate about the book? Maybe I liked it because a lot of it was in the Bay Area, and I was a little homesick at the time (I was living abroad), but I thought it was a decent read.

          • jim_ed

            Granted, I’m not sure what I should have expected from a 30 year old memoirist, but I found it to be just about the whiniest, self-indulgent, attention seeking thing I’ve ever read. Dave Eggers is like the proto-Millenial, who emerged from the primordial ooze and is the direct ancestor of all the derivative, navel gazing horsehockey now on Thought Catalog and Medium that clogs up my facebook feed about how hard it is to be the scions of upper middle class surburbia in the mean streets of New York City these days.
            (see, I told you I hated it)

        • Hate away hipsters, but I could not finish Infinite Jest. Such a long, boring slog and it seemed like he was starting a new and different story every paragraph or two. My friend who finished it said it took her 6 months to get through it and I do not have that kind of time for a book that feels like an assignment.

      • palisades

        Aw I loved that book. The story about his parents dying was heartbreaking. Maybe I enjoyed it more because he was the same age as me in the book.

    • Cinnamonster

      +1 to book-intimidation, Beau! I work at a library and I am still so easily nervous about books. POETRY is the big one for me. What if I just don’t get it?

  • Rave: I’m almost ready to submit my taxes, thanks to the reminder of seeing people talk about them on R&R.
    Rant: Insomnia. It hasn’t been a problem for a while, but it’s been happening every night this week. 🙁 Hopefully I can get a nap on my lunch hour.
    Rant: Unprepared and/or lazy coworkers blowing entire processes by failing to do their part. Which of course I get the blame for. Help me help you, people.

  • Were any of you at a party on Oak Street on Saturday evening? Pretty much everyone on our half of the block heard it, and I was talking with a couple of neighbors yesterday… What WAS that? It was 20-30 seconds of silence, then raucous screaming (WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!) and applauding, then another 20-30 seconds of silence, over and over, for more than an hour, between 8:30 and 10pm roughly. We also heard some group shouts of “long live the king.” We’re just super curious about what you were doing/ watching that resulted in that pattern of noise.

    • Oh man. This happened to me a few years ago. It was late at night and there were a bunch of young 20-somethings outside in the back yard of a row house periodically yelling at different intervals. At one point, they were chanting, “Democrats- Democrats-Democrats” (yeah, I live on the Hill). I later figured it out it was a drinking game- probably beer pong. Really annoying stuff when you’re just trying to sleep!

    • palisades

      Fraternity initiation? Seems like a similar description to the noises coming from when I was in college.

      • That makes a sort of sense… inducting new members to something, each of whom was enthusiastically welcomed.
        But the renters in that house don’t seem like frat types. They’re normally completely quiet and respectful. Even their previous house parties have been pretty tame. They’re like, grown-ups.

  • Rave: Got my last two W-2s so I can ship them off to my brother for some free tax filing! (or the price is surprise cookies/TBD)
    Rave: School meeting last night went really well, and I think we’ll have a strong group going forward.
    Rant: Printer would.not.work. at home this morning, making me take a later bus.
    Rave: Math stuff for my degree is slowly coming back for me. Feels great to be working through the cobwebs. Hopefully stress from 12 problem sets doesn’t overwhelm how good learning/realizing I know the material feels!

  • Ally

    Additional Rave: Maybe my literary geekdom is showing, but so stoked with the news today that Harper Lee (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) is publishing a second novel this Spring!

  • hispanicandproud

    Rave: Today’s sunrise.

  • Rant: Tired and cranky.
    Rant: Impatient for Georgia Avenue to get a move on as far as redevelopment is concerned. I’m tired of the vacant and/or graffiti’d buildings, the empty corner lots, etc., etc.
    Rave: Managed to get a fair amount of house-organizing done over the weekend.
    Rant: More remains to be done, and the house isn’t going to look as good as I’d like when my houseguest gets here.

    • jim_ed

      I feel like graffiti has actually gotten significantly worse on Georgia Ave over the last year, or at least people haven’t been as diligent about cleaning it up. The worst is that the owners of the former florist shop at GA and Hamilton JUST repainted it nicely, with a complimentary trim, and some jerk already came out and spray painted all along the side of the building.

      • I was thinking of Georgia Avenue between about Upshur and Florida. That’s too bad that the same thing is happening further north too.

  • Rave: working at home due to office being renovated.
    Rant:Sick yesterday
    Rave: Feeling better today due to rest and Z-Pak
    Rant: Intruding thoughts bugging me again.
    Rave: Will see therapist and psychiatrist next week about intruding thoughts. Hopefully I can find a nonmedical way to deal with them.
    Rave: Sun outside my window is lifting my spirits.

  • Rant: Reasonably priced, business casual maternity pants. Do they exist? I haven’t been able to find them. Does anyone have any recommendations? I’ve tried Old Navy, Gap, Pea in the Pod, Motherhood Maternity, Target, Macy’s, Ann Taylor Loft, and so on. I’m hoping not to spend more than $60 or so on a pair of pants I’m going to wear for 4.5 months. I’ve been making due with my regular pants and a belly band but I think I’m reaching the end for that option.

    • Do they have to be new? If not, try one of the various parent listserves to see if anyone is selling or giving away maternity clothes. Or, if you can’t join yourself, have a friend who is on one of the listserves look for you. That’s what ultimately worked for me. Good luck!

      • Thanks for the advice! They definitely don’t need to be new. I have on my list to check out some consignment stores, but I hadn’t thought to check listservs as well.

    • I got most of my maternity wardrobe at Wiggle Room in Bethesda. It’s a consignment store, so you’ll find some pretty high-end items for reasonable prices.

    • I got great maternity pants at Kohls. I had to have many of them shortened, but other than that, they were great.

    • Freecycle.org for free maternity clothes list a need and wait for the responses to come flowing in. Congratulations on the new addition to the family!

  • Accountering

    Rand Paul and Chris Christie. These two idiots apparently think that vaccines should be voluntary, and that parents who prefer to ignore science, and prefer to get their science from a former supermodel, are allowed to put other peoples children at risk and bring back diseases that have long been eradicated.
    They have apparently serious presidential nominees lining up to support this nonsense. The Clown Car that is/will be the Republican Primary is shaping up to be absolutely hilarious, if it wasn’t so sad!

    • Hear, hear. The soundbites on the news about vaccines this morning were especially humorous and terrible. And that says a lot, given the usual hilariousness and terribleness of soundbites in the beginning of election season.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Play boy bunny not super model.

      • Accountering

        I stand corrected.
        The ‘Dummy of the Day Award” undoubtedly goes today to Rand Paul. You believe in “freedom” so much, that you are okay with someones boneheaded decision will ultimately wind up killing other peoples kids.

        • “You believe in “freedom” so much, that you are okay with someones boneheaded decision will ultimately wind up killing other peoples kids.” I think I said the exact same sentence earlier today.

        • Emmaleigh504

          Rand Paul gets the Dummy of the Day award just about every day.

        • He’s an effin’ doctor (sorta) who believes vaccines cause serious health issues. I can’t even.

    • +1000. I just posted an angry fb rant about this.

    • I Dont Get It

      But…but… I heard a C list celebrity say that vaccines are dangerous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I read some stuff on the internets!!!!!!!!!

      • And like…. we don’t _know_ what’s in them. It’s probably just like a placebo, or whatever. We’re going to get sick anyways! Why give Big Pharma money? Those Pharma-b*tches are evil!

        • And also, since like no one else is exercising their right to not vaccinate, if they do work, my kids will have herd immunity! Even though like everyone in my friend group isn’t vaccinating!

          • Accountering

            I enjoy the sarcasm, but I honestly do not think I could be friends with someone who actively chose not to vaccinate. I choose not to associate myself with people who actively bury their heads in the sand, and in turn put their kids, and everyone else kids at a completely unnecessary risk from a disease we eradicated as a country decades ago.

          • The only thing I can say in actual defense of (some) anti-vaxxers is that I have friends with a 11-year old autistic son who have spent the better part of the last decade wondering if their decision to vaccinate their son caused his autism. It seems that scientific studies have largely ruled out that possibility, but when he was two and doing things like banging his head against the concrete ground and not making eye contact anymore after being a very normal baby, I can see why they had the impulse to blame themselves and the pharmaceutical industry. And I can see why they chose not to vaccinate their next child. I’m not saying that was the right decision — if I have kids, I will vaccinate them — but I imagine it’s heartbreaking for parents to wonder if they could have prevented him from getting the disorder and feeling regret about their decision to vaccinate.

          • Andie302

            As an anedote, I have a woman who I went to high school with that chose not to vaccinate any of her children, and her 12 year old was diagnosed with autism. I thought it was a brave step for her to post to facebook about this when it happened, because she certainly got some criticism for not vaccinating her children.

          • Emmaleigh504

            But now that science has proved that vaccines don’t cause autism, it’s time to get those kids vaccinated.

    • Definitely agreed with all this. Grr, anti-vaxxers…

    • Rachel Maddow did a great piece on this last night. And agreed, I was floored that this is apparently a thing in GOP circles now. But they are running out of other constituencies to pander to that they have not offended yet.

    • I Dont Get It

      The science is clear: The earth is round, the sky is blue, and #vaccineswork. Let’s protect all our kids. #GrandmothersKnowBest
      — Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) February 3, 2015

      • Accountering

        I am not sure what the odds-makers say HRC’s odds of becoming Madam President are, but if the GOP has now resorted to being anti-vaccers, I should re-fi the house to take those odds. None of these idiots have any chance in a general election.

    • Someone find me an anti-vaxxer whose kids are allergic to peanuts, so we have a conversation about MY right to choose what goes into my kid’s body and when. Oh, I should just keep the peanuts at home, because they might harm a kid who cannot, for whatever reason, tolerate peanuts? Interesting, interesting.

      • Well said, Miss Patty. In my mind, anti-vaxxers are exactly the same as climate-change deniers.

        • Accountering

          I think they are much worse. Climate change deniers by themselves don’t really have much effect (we all use transit, and heat our homes etc) but anti-vaxxers are DIRECTLY putting their own children, and other peoples children at risk.

          • Agreed, the effect is worse. I was taking about the thought process. Mounds of scientific evidence, but because it doesn’t fit in with my belief of the moment or political worldview, I’m going to ignore it.

      • IIMO, we need to stop giving exceptions for public school kids being fully vaccinated. I think a lot of people would change their stance if the alternative was homeschooling or having to pay for private school.

        • Agreed, with a reasonable and strictly enforced exception for kids who can’t be vaccinated. The immunocompromised are the only ones who should get to take advantage of herd immunity. We can do this for them, just as we have banned peanuts for the few kids who have an allergy. (And any doctor caught falsifying vax records, as has happened, automatically loses his or her license to practice.)
          And not just schools. Any public space that prohibits, say, firearms, should prohibit unvaccinated individuals. Of course it’s unenforceable. But just the sign would contribute to a correction of this “you do what’s right for YOU” societal attitude. As a society, we have expectations, and they should be reinforced.

          • Of course legitimate exceptions would exist, I just meant no exceptions for the antivaxxers. And agreed, public spaces are hard to police, but at least the unvaccinated kids wouldn’t be in close proximity to unvaccinated kids 5 days a week.

        • Yes, and this includes religious exemptions. You aren’t permitted to do ANYTHING you want in the name of religion. When your religion causes you to contribute to a threat to others, that’s it. If you don’t want to participate in society, you don’t get the benefits of that society.

    • I Dont Get It

      I’m probably one of the few people on here old enough to have actually had the measles–believe me you don’t want to get this. I was a miserable little kid for several days.

      • anonymouse_dianne

        Whoa. I had measles and rubella and chicken pox. With rubella I ran such a high fever the doctor was afraid I would go deaf. I’m fine. My younger sister and brother got early vaccines and were spared. Believe me, vaccine is far preferable to the virus itself.

        • I Dont Get It

          I had all of the above also I just couldn’t think of the name rubella (I think we called it the German measles). My sister had all including the mumps. It’s not that my parents were anti-vaxxers it’s just that I am old!

  • Rave: I passed the cert for a job outside DC
    Rant: Out of the 20 or so certs I’ve passed the last 2 years, I’ve been contacted for 3 of them (1 of which was for a job 2 grades lower than my current one). I doubt I will be contacted about this one.
    Rant: Transit coordinator e-mailing me an hour before recertification deadline asking where my recertification is. After I tell her my supervisor forgot to send it, and will do so ASAP, coordinator immediately writes back saying she still doesn’t have it. Uh, yeah, my supervisor is human and doesn’t do shit light speed. Give the guy 2 minutes at least.
    Rave: He got it in with 30 minutes to spare.

  • Rave: Harper Lee is publishing another book.

  • Becks

    Rave: Two days until Blacklist!
    Rantish: Lots of food in the kitchen and I am totally unmotivated to cook.
    Rave: Lady Carlotta has been sitting near me for the last few days. I think she must know that I am feeling blue.
    Rant: I’m feeling down because of my work situation. I know I am capable and skilled, but all I receive are letters saying that I don’t have the specific experience for the position.

    • I love the Blacklist so much. The premiere was sooooo good-except for that obnoxious cliff-hanger of an ending. Really, that’s where you’re going to fade to black? Grrrr.

  • Does anyone know if a site like PoPville exists in the San Francisco area? I’m looking for something with community news and maybe real estate information/listings.

    • palisades

      I’m sure they have a subreddit. They can be very hit or miss, but are a good starting point. Probably have a sidebar with information and previous threads asking your exact question.

    • I don’t know about SF, but for Berkeley, there is Berkleyside.com. if you go to blog.sfgage.com and scroll down to “Local”, they post links to Bay Area news blogs.

  • Additional rave: After hearing about the need for temporary fosters of not-yet-fully-vaccinated kittens last week, we decided to sign up to be irregular foster mommies. Here’s hoping we can pull off periodic short-term fostering without making ourselves nutty with extra commitments and without feeling guilty for not being “proper fosters”. Life with two full-time jobs & a toddler doesn’t quite allow for full-time fostering & bringing fosters to adoption shows and the like (at least not for us), but we have the space for short-term housing needs. I have to admit I’m looking forward to seeing the kiddo interact with kittens. (But no worries–the moment she’s too rough, she’s out of the room. She’s generally gentle with our 3 cats now. I think she’ll mostly dance and shriek/giggle at seeing kittens play)

    • Ally

      That’s a very cool thing you’re doing! Congrats (and please submit cute foster kitten photos to pet of the day)!

      • Thanks! Just submitted the foster application. We’ll see what happens! And I will try to submit cute photos for adoptable pet of the day too 🙂

        • Thank you! I’ve been foster kitten-less for a week now, since my last pair got adopted! I can’t wait to “re-stock” after they have finished their vaccines!

Comments are closed.