Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user  James Leathers

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

288 Comment

  • Thank you to all the advice yesterday on whether to tell/not tell coworkers on my knocked-up status! I think I’m going to just leave it for awhile.

    • Make that for all the advice/to all the people that gave advice!

      • I didn’t see the original thread….depending on how far along you are, I would consider telling a supervisor so you can discuss leave options. But again, I didn’t see the thread. Congrats!!!

    • Ally

      That’s been my approach…putting it off as long as I can. If for no other reason than I really want to avoid the obligatory office baby shower (pregnancy at work is especially fun for us introverts!).

      • Allison

        I don’t see why — once the time comes when you can no longer hide it — you can’t be explicit with your coworkers that you don’t want a baby shower. It doesn’t have to be antagonistic, it’s just not everyone’s style. Just tell people what you want!

      • HAHA at my office, I got nothing….but men whose wives are pregnant get baby showers. It’s AMAZING. read: lady has baby, inconvenience. Dude gets his wife pregnant, it’s something to celebrate! wooot!

        • In a previous thread, I though you were finally over the gripe you had about this? Seems like it still bothers you big-time.

          • never said I was over it – there’s a number of things relating to having had a child that changed at work immediately that are part of one gripe. Also don’t appreciate being told to contribute to such things.

          • FWIW, I think it’s totally legitimate to be upset by these divergent responses to parenthood based on gender, and to continue being upset by at as long as it doesn’t change.

        • Just asking, I did not see your original post. But did every guy in your office who was expecting a baby get a shower and no woman expecting a baby get a shower?
          Is this a pattern, or more about particular affection towards the one guy who got a shower? Or lack of affection towards you? (Again, just asking)

      • I’m happy that this is my second, so no obligatory baby showers! The first one was really awkward.

      • Emmaleigh504

        they don’t ask if you want one before they do it? ack! awful!

        • SFT

          sometimes they are surprise work showers. those are the worst. my old office used to do surprise showers and brow beat you into donating money. the year of the baby boom almost broke me! i had false labor on the day they threw me a shower…it was totally worth it to miss the awkward party 🙂

  • Accountering

    Rant: Capitals. Seriously, this is getting old. Getting outshot 12-5 in the first period is completely unacceptable. Taking stupid penalties and not killing them doesn’t work either. We now have 5 wins in 13 home games.
    Rave: Had an awesome time decorating for Christmas with Andie and roommates last night! Tree looks amazing!
    Rave2: Close on the Shaw house on 12/15, and our architect will be done with drawings and ready to submit for permits that day. Demo starts 12/16!

    • I’m annoyed. And I’m really over this “we have the talent, it can be a good team, it just isn’t coming together” BS. Not only were the shot totals lopsided, so were the blocked shots. So, not only are we letting other teams out shoot us in an embarrassing manner, we’re not even trying as hard to block any of them.
      They better get some mojo back soon.

      • Accountering

        Totally agree. When you get out-shot, out-hit, and they block more shots than you, you got out worked, and that is unacceptable. Start diving in front of pucks and trying. Last night was very frustrating, not quite as bad as the Toronto game, but very frustrating. Agree they need to get this thing turned around, or this will wind up being just another season flushed down the proverbial can.

    • jim_ed

      I’ll throw this out there – there’s plenty of good seats left on the Wizards bandwagon.

    • palisades

      The more they lose the cheaper the tickets get! Yes PLEASE!

      • Accountering

        Hehe, tickets are not getting cheaper. The couple of months of cheap tickets have sailed. Jan/Feb/Mar are always more expensive tickets, and they have a ton of attractive home games coming up.

        • And plan prices only go down if they’re in the bottom for a few seasons. I like having (had???) a more competitive team, but even as an entry level just barely out of college Caps fan, the plans and prices were way better for me the first few seasons after the lock out. I used to get an 11 game plan and they would add whatever additional games I wanted at my plan price. That ship has sailed.

          • Accountering

            My club level seats actually went UP by $5 after the missed the playoffs last year. That was a head scratcher for sure.

  • homerule

    Rave: Moving on Monday! Cannot wait to triple our square footage (which isn’t hard when you’ve been living in a micro-studio).

    Rant: As I’ve gotten older, even if I have one drink, I can’t sleep well. I hate tossing and turning.

  • Rant – may have to go to San Jose. A week before Christmas. On my daughter’s birthday.
    Rant – dearth of flights to San Jose.
    Rant – red eye. Grumblegrumble.

    • Ally

      Sorry you’re stuck traveling on her birthday. Is she too young to Skype (might help a little)?

      • Thanks. She’s turning 8, so we can Skype. It’s not as bad as others have it – I leave in the afternoon on her birthday, so I can see her in the morning, make her breakfast and take her to school, which she loves. But it’ll be too late to call when I get in, and we’ll have to postpone the birthday dinner she’s been excitedly talking about all year. I’m just annoyed that this was scheduled at the last minute, and I have absolutely no control over it – I’ve gotten used to having some say in my schedule. Silver lining rave, her party is the weekend before, so I won’t miss that.

    • Have you considered flying into SFO and renting a car or taking a shuttle to SJ?

      • I was going to suggest this too. And for car rentals, I would look into FlightCar — it’s like airbnb for cars and super cheap!

      • That’s a good suggestion, thanks. I’ve never made that drive – if anyone has, if I get into SFO at around 7, what time can I reasonably expect to get to San Jose?

        • About an hour unless traffic is terrible.

        • anonymouse_dianne

          Fly into Oakland and rent a car there. It’s much easier than San Francisco and you’re off the island on the right side of the bay. Traffic should be easy too.

          • Not to be “that guy”, but San Francisco nor its airport is on an island.

            But yes, Oakland is another option. The drive to SJ is about the same as from SFO though, and driving on 880 sucks about 95% of the time.

          • I think there are many more direct flights to SFO.

  • Rant: Got a ticket in New York City (Manhattan) for window tints on my car. There was no other offense leading to the ticket, I got pulled over with my dad and brother in the car. When I went online to pay the ticket, the site was obviously set up to prevent me from paying on time because It didn’t recognize the info I plugged into it, there was also no way to simply search for the ticket info by the ticket number. I mailed the payment in yesterday and I hope that it gets paid. This is an example of local government taking advantage of citizens for financial gain. It made me miss DC’s easier online ticket payment system, even though either of the experiences in ticket payment are frustrating overall.

    Rant: Trash collection and recycling collection in my alley is totally disgraceful. I fear trash days for all the overflow trash blowing into my back yard, and for all the broken bottles in the alleys. Also, when do people find time to leave mattresses and furniture in alleys? I never seem to be able to catch them in the act. Don’t these people know about the Fort Totten Dump?!

    Rave: Enjoyed Thanksgiving, miss my out of town family already.

    • Accountering

      Oh come on, “the site was obviously set up to prevent me from paying on time because It didn’t recognize the info I plugged into it, there was also no way to simply search for the ticket info by the ticket number.”
      Isn’t it possible that the ticket takes a few days to get put into the system – just like in DC? Also, no sympathy that you got pulled over for ” no other offense leading to the ticket.” Clearly you were breaking the law, and perhaps you shouldn’t illegally tint your windows?

      • There is a 15 day period to pay tickets in NY. If I get a violation that requires payment within 15 days and results in increased fines for late payment, the ticket should post immediately in my opinion. Have you paid a ticket for NYS online and found a better experience? The site asks for my name, the last 4 digits of my SSN, the ticket number, and my email address… How can NY state know that info about me to match it to a ticket payment when I’m an out of state driver?! DC Gov allows you to simply search by ticket number or your tag and then pay the ticket. They NYS DMV site is legendarily confusing to people if you just google it. I don’t trust NY state to post my ticket in time for that deadline because it wasn’t working on the 5th day since I got my ticket, and if I waited to mail the ticket in if it didn’t post on time, I’m screwed with late fees.

        • Accountering

          Fair enough. I think it is very reasonable that it is simply incompetence though. I have experience with DC’s system for online payment of parking tickets, but nothing with NYS.

          • They say “Ignorance is no excuse for not knowing the law”. I think, on the same hand, Incompetence is also no excuse in the process of public service. There are tons of people who get victimized by that site/process not working correctly because an unpaid violation can turn into a warrant easily leading to jail time over a ticket that spiraled into deep debt.. I’m lucky I can simply pay the offense and move on, but many can’t. I don’t think it’s ignorance though. In a city that large, they should have a better system of at least allowing for payment collection for bogus tickets that cops hand out so they can get their revenue faster from the out of towners they prey upon.

          • Accountering

            It’s impossible to take you seriously… I completely agree with your points up to “payment collection.” But the conspiracy theories don’t fly with me. Perhaps they are just hoping to punish people who are breaking the law, which you did in this case?

        • You should’ve just mailed it. Done. 😉

    • Why do you have tinted windows?

      • The car came with all it’s back windows tinted from the factory for privacy. I simply tinted my driver and passenger side windows to match the factory tinted windows. I have been driving cars in DC with the same 15% tint for over 10 years without problems. The minute I drive in Manhattan (A city I don’t live in) a cop saw fit to weave through thick traffic and pull me over. It’s hard for me to not see that as opportunistic money making off a person with out of state tags, especially because I was not breaking any traffic laws. I have a 100% clean driving record. Tickets of these kinds (according to friends I know) generally result in a warning which requires removal of the tints on a first offense, and they are usually only issued as secondary offense tickets after an officer cites someone for a more serious traffic violation.

        • Accountering

          Isn’t it possible that it was just the police officer doing his job and enforcing the law? It sounds like you DID break the law, which you freely admit. Your car was not legal. Not everything has to be a conspiracy, and ultimately, it is your responsibility to know the laws of the jurisdiction you are travelling too. Much like someone who regularly open carries has the responsibility to know that that isn’t legal in DC.

          • Seriously?

            Open carry and window tints are 2 different things man… C’mon… How many people have window tints victimized? I’m practicing cognitive dissonance and protesting my rights and freedoms by non-conformance. I’m quite sure I could sit behind my computer and place judgments on your life and find ways you’re breaking the law too if I had the time.

            I didn’t post that to be judged, I posted it to rant. I think you’re making too many presumptions here about me.

          • Accountering

            Of course they are different things. The principal is identical though. Some things are legal in some states, and then illegal in other states. It is your responsibility, as a citizen, to educate yourself about these laws. You chose to tint your windows, and as such, should know where they are legal. If you are punished for not doing this research, or not caring, I don’t feel bad for you.
            I am not making any presumptions about you in the least. You have illegal windows, at least in NY, and it is your responsibility to know the laws of the place you are visiting. I don’t particularly care if tinted windows have victimized anyone, you can take that up with the NYS legislature. They made it illegal, and hence, your car was illegal in NYC. I break the law occasionally.
            “Practicing cognitive dissonance and protesting your rights and freedoms by non-conformance” – I guess if you want to call it that. Sounds to me like you are just driving a car that is non-legal in NYC.
            I know you posted to rant, but when you start throwing about wild conspiracy theories, you should expect to be called on them. The world isn’t out to get you, you broke the law, and got caught. Thems the breaks. I do sympathize with you about the ticket payment system, inexcusable it isn’t fixed and made to be at least as user friendly as DCs system.

          • Accountering

            *I break the law occasionally – hit 65 or 70 on the GW Parkway because it is never patrolled, but just drive the speed limit in the city, as I don’t want to get a camera ticket, or hurt someone. Difference is, if I did get a ticket, I may rant about it, but I am certainly not going to start spouting wild conspiracy theories. If I got caught, it was because I broke the law.

          • @Accountering

            You’re infringing on my right to rant, which is technically illegal according to the rules above. Telling me to obey the law is also pretty condescending. I don’t have another car I can drive to NY. You seem to have missed the point that I would have even gotten a ticket even for factory tinted windows on my car (which I had no control over). I am allowed to have my conspiracy theories (as you labeled them). And I’m allowed to be biased in my opinions about events I experience despite you trying to subvert them from the side lines. I think you exceeding the speed limit is a far worse offense than me tinting my windows, and for someone who constantly tells me to obey the law, you should maybe do it at all times, even when no one is watching if you want to preach about it to me?

          • Accountering

            I am not infringing your right to rant. Feel free, but there is nothing that says you won’t be called when you are in the wrong. I am not telling you to obey the law. You are free to do as you choose. That’s fine you think my speeding is worse than your tinted windows. I don’t particularly care about your tinted windows either. What I do care about is that when caught for breaking the law, you instantly jump to wild conspiracy theories about how NYS is targetting you and all sorts of other nonsense.

          • Okie dokie man… We’ll just agree to disagree on that. We have different experiences in life, and we’re different people. I was there, and you weren’t etc…

        • I thought tinted windows weren’t legal in D.C. either.

          • It’s generally treated as a “back pocket” law where they only issue a ticket when it contributed to a crime or accident. I’ve never been cited for tints though I have friends who have been. The cop told me he could have given me a ticket for each window on the car, including the factory tinted windows, which I’m pretty sure he would have pulled me over for the factory tints even if I didn’t tint my driver & passenger windows anyway.

          • The tint laws in the District as as follows:

            Windshield: 5″ tint strip at top permitted
            Front windows: factory only, no extra tint
            Side, back windows: 50% visible light transmission max, i.e. maximum aftermarket tint of 72% permitted.

            All cars have 70% factory tint all around. Allowed tint levels are measured in visible light transmission, i.e. 70% of light passes through. Any extra tint compounds the existing factory tint. Therefore, 15% tint on top of 70% factory tint is actually around 11% light transmission total.

        • I think the real problem here is that you’ve never been pulled over for this in the DC area. DC, Virginia, and Maryland (and New York, for that matter) all have texting while driving as a primary offense. How can this be enforced if people tint their windows?

          Maybe you should just accept the fact that you’re still in public space while in your car and remove the window tinting.

          • Or I can just choose to not visit New York City again with my money… I prefer that idea.

            I can see how the law evolved to encourage safety for cops in pulling over people at night, but it should only be a secondary offense if the driver is breaking the law in some other way. I could easily have a van without any windows in the back in which someone could be hiding as a threat upon being pulled over that highlights the nonsensical gray area that this law creates.

    • That sucks about the tint. Unless your car is registered in NY, I think it’s pretty crappy that an out of state car can get fined for tinted windows seeing some jurisdictions allow it. $$$ for the borough.

      • They held me with my father and brother sitting in my car for about 35 minutes on the shoulder before even walking up, so I’m pretty sure they were hoping to get me on a higher value violation…

        I haven’t been pulled over by a cop since 98′ it was almost funny. I’m just glad the ticket didn’t come with points. Clearly an additional tool for visiting NY on top of the $80 i paid to use bridges, tunnels, and the Jerzeeey turn pike 😛

    • pretty sure tinting is illegal because cops can’t see in as they walk up- meaning they can’t see a weapon and could potentially be shot at/injured/killed. if i were a police officer this might be a hot button offense to me….just saying

      • It’s more than that. Dark tints make it hard to see at night. Back in the 90s I had 20% tint on my car (14% light transmission, with factory tint). OP is using 15% tint on top of 70% factory tint, for %11 light transmission total. Tint that dark is simply dangerous at night.

    • You’re lucky you just got a ticket. In Maryland they make you remove the illegal tint and then take it to a police station to prove it’s legal.

    • Jack is right no, conspiracy theory there. Cops use Tints to racial profile all the time. That’s why as a black man, I have no tints on my windows. All my black friends with tints get pulled over all the time, for tints, which always leads in the obligatory “can I search your car”. I tell all my younger nephews, etc to remove any tints as well.

    • One night I took my mom’s car (Jersey plates) into the city, and when I returned to the car the next morning, there was a ticket for parking too close to a fire hydrant. There were clear lines marking off the legal parking zone, and I was clearly within those lines. I took pictures at multiple angles to show I was in the right to park there. After mailing in my explanation, with the evidence, it took months for them to get back to me, and ultimately denied my appeal. It said if I wanted to appeal further, I would have to do it in person. Obviously, they saw the response address was in DC, and I was not going to go back to NYC on a weekday to contest a $100+ ticket. It’s not the end of the world, but it was frustrating knowing that they get away with this all the time.

  • Rave: Les Sins (from Toro Y Moi) show tonight
    Rant: still not able to run… been sitting for three weeks because of a sore calf and now i wreck on the bicycle and will have at least another week of no runs
    Rave: i still want to run badly after having not done so in almost a week. i was afraid i might fall off

    • re: your rant- I was hit by a pickup truck a month ago while riding my bike and xrays confirm that there was no break, but I am still bruised up and unable to run. I have a race to train for darn it! I tried to run yesterday and made it a pitiful 0.7 miles before giving up. Maybe next week. Best of luck for a speedy recovery to you!

    • Would love to see Les Sins, just cant bring myself to stay active enough for a show that starts at 11, and leave me hyped until 3am..

      • luckily enough i only have a half day of meetings tomorrow that start at 3
        otherwise it would be very hard for me to do the same

  • Rave: Spin this morning with my workout buddy. I am AWAKE!
    Mega Rant: A good friend unexpectedly lost her father this week. So sad for her family.
    Rave: I’m slowly coming up with holiday shopping ideas. I’m just not really into Christmas this year, which makes the whole holiday shopping thing even more challenging/annoying than usual.
    Rave: Over the past few months, I have been keeping to my budget. It feels good to see savings increase and to know that I’ve put away all the cash all need for said holiday presents.

    • Aglets

      This is a slight bit of self-promotion, but there are a slew of local art markets where you can support local artists and get awesome things for your friends and family.
      The downtown holiday market (now through December 23) is festive and fun, GRUMP at the artisphere is super big this year- over 75 vendors and it’s free to attend and there are things to do while you’re there so you don’t have to spend $ if you don’t want to and of course Eastern Market has some great artists- and adding more all the time.

      If you want ideas I am happy to point you in the direction of someone!

      • laduvet

        The Georgetown Art Show is coming up Feb. 12-15 at the House of Sweden! Most works are for sale (ranging in price from 100-1000) and you support local artists! Shameless plug 😉

      • GRUMP looks awesome! I want to go!

        • Aglets

          As one of the organizers, I thank you! I think it’s awesome! I’m totally nervous about making it twice as big but it will be fun!

  • Ally

    Rave: Planning a beach vacation some time soon. Whether or not it even happens is irrelevant. Just the prospect and the planning is sanity-saving.
    Rant: My coworker brought in a loud, rapping Santa mouse. It was endearing the first out of 40 times she played the song.

  • Rant: I’m feeling a little Scroogie this holiday season. I have no desire to decorate, shopping hasn’t been nearly as fun or successful as it usually is. And I just plain feel irritated. Perhaps it’s because this is the first Christmas in my 9 years of living out here that won’t be spent back “home” with my family, including my adorable nephew. Perhaps it’s because, instead, we’ll be heading to Las Vegas to spend it with my boyfriend’s family. I’m not as bah humbug about his family as I am about Las Vegas for Christmas. Just seems wrong.
    Rave: My nephew makes me smile. For many reasons, I do not plan to have my own children. However, I cannot tell you how much joy that little fella brings to my life. Next year at this time, if I’m not living less than an evening’s drive away from him, I have a feeling I’m going to be full on Grinch pre-Cindy Lou Who.

  • Rave: I had a great weekend visiting friends and family in CT. I even updated my parents’ computers without being annoyed about it for once. I think going from Firefox version 17 to 33 aught to improve some things. You were about half way there mom!
    Rave: Sleep over with the nieces tonight! My brother in law is out of town, so I’m trying to help out. Bring on the 3 yo drama queen and the 1.5 yo who eats more than me.
    Rant: Capitals. I was excited about the Winter Classic, but I’m becoming less so as this crap goes on.
    Rave/Rant: I’m happy my boss feels comfortable sharing certain management related news (rumors?) with me, but at the same time I’m not sure I want to hear about any “rebalancing” talk until there’s more info.

  • Rant: I found out this morning that one of my co-workers thinks Asia is a country. Not really a rant though, just shocked. Co-worker is well-educated and pretty bright. Guess not when it comes to geography though!
    Rave: Went up another notch on my regular work belt. I’ve lost a little over 20 lbs since June and am 1.5 lbs from my goal.

    • A co-worker of mine at a previous job was surprised to learn that Jamaica isn’t part of the United States.

      • I had one ask me whether I had to take my (US) passport to Puerto Rico.

        • Ha, that reminds me of an old friend that used to work for a travel company. A customer bought some package tour to Hawaii and then asked, “Do you know if I will have enough time to get a new passport for this trip?”
          “Ma’am, Hawaii is a part of the US. No passport is necessary.”
          “Oh wow, I didn’t know that!”

          My cousin also used to fly tourists from Vegas to the Grand Canyon on a helicopter. He’d hear all kinds of dumb questions, including “When did Disney build the Grand Canyon?”

        • I had a friend try to cash a check from Puerto Rico at a bank in the Midwest (where she had an account). They told her they were not able to handle foreign funds.

    • SFT

      I had a pretty similar moment with a coworker a few years ago. I was going to Uganda and she told me to be careful because, and I quote, “that whole country has AIDS”. I tried to make it a teachable moment, but that didn’t work out so well. Ignorance is shocking sometimes!

    • I have a coworker who doesn’t know the difference between Indian and Native American. We worked with an Indian and she was convinced he was native american. She also asked where the jury sits when we went on the surpreme court tour. But I love her anyway!

    • Congrats on the weight loss- that’s awesome!!

    • Pablo Raw

      As an immigrant, I’ve heard the most interesting things:
      “People come to the United States because they want to eat good food”
      “How come you know about opera? do you guys have CDs in your country?”

      • re: Opera….HAHAHAHAHA

      • A few years ago, a lot of people thought Africa was a country and Nelson Mandela was the president of Africa

        • Sadly, with Ebola dominating headlines recently, I think many people STILL think that the entire continent is one country called Africa…

          • True – and that someone who spend time in Kenya should isolate herself for 21 days even though Kenya is nowhere near Liberia/Sierra Leone/Guinea/Mali.
            And sadly, many more examples of ignorance/fear trumping science.
            Spain is closer to the epidemic and travelers returning from Spain aren’t being subject to this.

          • Pablo Raw

            I think there’s a lot of common sense in Spain, I remember the look in the eyes of the “TSA” agent when I took my shoes off before boarding the plan; “no need to do that, that’s only in countries where people are… (insert crazy people gesture)”

          • Pablo I was referring to a traveler returning to the US from Spain and how their work/community treats them vs someone returning from Kenya. This example was a teacher from a school in KY who was told to stay home for 21 days after returning home from Kenya. Or the students from Rwanda who had to stay home for 21 days while being monitored for symptoms before being allowed to attend school in NJ. Many other examples of ignorance and hysteria related to Ebola outbreak.

          • Pablo Raw

            I get what you were trying to say, just adding some distraction to your points 😀

          • Haha ok thanks for the distraction Pablo : )

    • I talked with a woman who was very concerned about her daughter serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Ecuador. Mom didn’t want her daughter living in a tent for 2 years.

    • skj84

      Lol on your first rant. Well Educated and smart are not mutually exclusive.

    • Apparently the most annoying question in Alaska is “when do they turn on the Northern Lights?”

    • “Co-worker is well-educated and pretty bright.”

      Anyone who thinks Asia is a country is not very bright at all.

  • SFT

    Rant/Question: My husband used my loofah yesterday. He thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to share loofah’s because the soap washes away the germs. He even used my moms loofah when we went for a visit over the summer. Am I overreacting or is this as gross as I think it is?

    • I think this is gross, although not quite as gross as using someone else’s toothbrush.

      • ummm… i’ve used my boyfriend’s loofah, used my friends’ loofah, AND used random friends’ toothbrushes (and they have used mine). i guess i’m the outlier here thinking that loofahs can be communal?

        • A high school friend used to ask to share my gum. — sure, here’s half of my abc (already been chewed) gum. She also would ask to use my toothbrush — sure, as long as I use it first 🙂

    • Would he use someone else’s washcloth?

    • Definitely not as gross as having sex with him (or anyone). But yes, super gross he used your moms.

    • I try change those puff things every month..my bf always tries to use mine…Ive even bought him one, in a “guy color” but he refuses to use it…but he wants to use mine (we mostly shower together) I dont get it.

    • Interesting question! I think this is somewhat subjective, the same way that some people think that baths are wonderful and relaxing while others think of them as sitting in your own dirt. People just have different ideas about what’s considered hygienic. In this case, I think it’s fair to request your husband not use your loofah (and your mother’s!!) — not because of some objective or scientific claim, which will be hard to back up, but simply because it skeeves you out.

    • It wouldn’t bother me if my partner used my loofah or washcloth although I don’t think he should be using the loofah/etc of other family members.
      If you think this is gross then I’d hope your partner respects your preference to not share these sorts of things.

    • LOL Yes I think it’s kind of gross to use your wife’s loofah, but I could see getting over that. The two of you share a lot of…fluids anyway. But using your Mom’s?? ewwwww LOL! Crossin’ the line, man.

      • It’s not even the guy’s own mom’s loofah — it’s his mother-in-law’s loofah!!
        Like Shawess and MPinDC, I think that the fact that SFT doesn’t want her husband to use her loofah (or her mother’s loofah) ought to be sufficient — he should respect her wishes on the matter.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I think unwanted sharing of loofahs, scrubbies, toothbrushes, etc is grounds for divorce.

    • binpetworth

      Where are all you people who object to this putting your loofahs ?!

      • Allison

        I object to loofahs in general. Germ cities, they are. Washing dishes with sponges too (GEHH, sponges are disgusting!) unless the dish is being scrubbed with one as a pre-rinse matter only to go straight into the dishwasher.

        • Uh-oh… I thought washing dishes with a sponge was OK as long as you use dish detergent and hot water, and rinse afterward. What’s the preferred method, then?

          • SFT

            Sponges are possibly one of the most disgusting things on Earth. Since loofahs are plastic, I’ve never thought of them in the same regard. Some people say that you can put them (sponges) in the microwave to kill the bacteria, but I don’t buy it!

          • Emmaleigh504

            Loofahs are plastic? My loofahs aren’t! But my sponges are….

          • epric002

            i run my sponge through the dishwasher each day.

          • No, honey, loofa is a plant. Kind of looks like a cucumber when it’s on the vine. When it dries, you peel the skin off and shake all the seeds out. We used to have a huge vine growing over the henhouse.

          • Allison

            In all fairness, there are traditional “loofahs” (kind of look like a dried sea sponge) and then there are puffy things made of apparently plastic netting that people still call loofahs.

          • If you’re not putting the loofah on/in a mucus membrane I wouldn’t worry about it too much. You are covered in microflora. Rubbing your day old microflora on yourself isn’t a big deal. Rubbing someone else’s microflora, especially that of someone you live with, all also isn’t a big deal. Even if something else is growing on, it would have to outcompete your microflora or get into an open cut or sore.
            I am also vehemently against toilet seat covers and antibacterial hand gel, so take what I say with a grain of salt. But, I’m on the same page as my other science colleagues.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Jeslett, the voice of reason!

        • I don’t have a dishwasher. How else am I supposed to wash my dishes without a sponge?

          • SFT

            With a scrub brush. And then soak it in Clorox every so often.

          • – Replace the sponge often (every 2-4 weeks, depending on how much use it gets)
            – Let the sponge dry between uses, or at least keep it out of pooled water and in its own draining dish or tray
            – Wash dishes with very hot water (at least at the very end of the process, if you’re concerned about energy use)
            – Use a scrub brush to remove tougher, stuck on grime and clean as SFT says.
            Or ignore all of this because maybe we sponge-haters have weird OCD issues.

          • Allison

            If I can’t use my dishwasher for some reason I use a paper towel with a mixture of baking soda and dish soap on it to scrub off tough stuff. But that probably wouldn’t be practical on a daily basis.

          • Emmaleigh504

            soap and water and sponge/brush/rag/whatever-you-want. Just make sure you have soap and water.

          • It’s so refreshing to read that others know how to properly use sponges. I barely want to touch the sponge that in its own caddy on the side of my sink. The thought of touching the sponge on the sink in the lunchroom at work makes me gag….*&@!uhnp)q*b!

          • TammyM, I’m with you on the barfy work lunch sponge situation. I once tried to secretly replace a workplace sink scrub brush that had not been changed out in the 2 1/2 years I had worked there. It had perma-mold on the top and just looking at it made my stomach turn. I’m guessing that everyone knew I was the one who did it, but really why would I care if everyone did?

          • Emmaleigh504

            Who washes dishes at work?! Rinse it off and take it home to wash where there is good soap and your own sponge.

    • This post led me into a weird Google rabbit hole that ended up here: http:// http://www.spafinder.com /spaguide/etiquette/spa-nudity.htm
      I thought some of you might appreciate it.

      • SFT

        I was just reading the massage part of this and it reminded me of a massage I got in Thailand a couple years ago. When I flipped over onto my back the woman went right in with both hands and grabbed my girls. I tried not to freak out and just politely said, “no thank you, I’m all good up there!” She said that lots of women like it. Gotta tell you, I felt a little violated!

  • Rant: sad to be back from thanksgiving
    Rave: at home, there were SO many activities for our 13 month old – two indoor play spaces like 10 minutes from my parents!
    Rant: nothing like that here
    Rave: amazing business opportunity…..hhmm….

    Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

    • I’m just curious if your parents live in suburbs or in a downtown of a major city. Because there are playspaces like that out in our suburbs, too, so you are likely comparing apples to oranges.

  • Rant: Guy started yelling at me for no reason near Union Station. Something like, “You walked by me like you’re afraid of me! Well I’m afraid of you!” (Really? I’m a short guy who is in no way scary looking, just minding my business.) I ignored him.

    Rant: Cold, nasty weather. Blah.

    • Pablo Raw

      I recently had a guy screaming at me at a metro station, he was screaming in some Arabic language. I noticed his scarf had the colors of the Israel flag and I could even see the star. Then I realized that I was wearing my scarf that looks like the one that Palestinians use. I like it because it is light and long, and I bought it at Target! so no political statement here. Also people confuse me with being a middle eastern sometimes.

    • I’ve had similar things happen a few times and it really shakes me up. On Thanksgiving day, the guy who sells Street Sense near Whole Foods on P Street yelled at me, saying there was “nothing funny” about him selling papers, after I tried to smile at him as I walked by. It makes me wonder if he’s just saying what other people are thinking — that I seem like a nasty jerk — or if that’s just his response alone.

      • I once had a woman selling street sense in Dupont yell at me to ‘never look at [her] that way again’, nevermind that I didn’t even see her until she started yelling. It was pretty scary (busy intersection, and after that Homicide episode where the guys is pushed onto the train tracks and is sliced in half, I’m sort of always a little worried about getting pushed by someone into trains or cars on purpose!).

        • Oh jeez. Scary! Now that you mention it, I had another run-in with a Street Sense person inside of the Whole Foods. I was on the phone, talking using my headphones and in my own world, and a lady in a Street Sense vest started yelling at me to stop talking to her. Really spooky.

  • Rant: Tough day emotionally yesterday coupled with multiple lengthy bus rides between Philly and DC – I ended up in a foul mood. Ugh.

    Rave: Coming home to my husband, grabbing burgers, and just chatting and laughing – really helped me lighten up.

    Rant/Rave (not sure which yet): Really interested in (and well qualified for) a position at my husband’s organization and would work with him but not be managed by him. It’s a medium sized international non-profit – trying to navigate the application process with him expressing his conflict of interest has snowballed into this frustrating process where HR is treating it like a high risk situation for preferential treatment and discrimination to others. But I think good HR and management processes can support this situation and think hidden preferential treatment is what needs to be worried about (and I’ve seen it at his organization). I’m going to apply but I won’t get my hopes up, I guess…

    • I’m surprised they don’t have a policy about this. A medium sized international non-profit should have some nepotism rules in place, whether it is as basic as family can’t supervise family or as strict as the company doesn’t hire family members at all. I mean, either they have a policy or they don’t – they shouldn’t be making one up on the fly when someone applies for a job.

  • Rant: Blinsided by some kind of GI virus. At six o’clock I was kicking butt on a reasonably brutal off-season workout, by 8 the pizza was not tasting so hot and by 9:30 …best to skip the details, but this morning I felt as though I’d been beaten by little cops with little rubber hoses all over my whole body. I wonder if I should take that last xanax I’ve been saving for a rainy day just to get in a better mood, or if I’d just puke that up, too.
    Rave: a boost to my strategy not to put on weight in the off-season. I guess.

    • SFT

      Phenergan, it’s such a good thing to keep in your medicine cabinet. It makes you stop puking and knocks you out so you can sleep it off. Feel better!

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: Heard from a friend I haven’t heard in a long time. Apparently she misses me.
    Rant: My apartment smells like burnt bread, and me too. Long story.
    Rant: Since I have HBO+some more online TV options as part of my internet, I’m trying to get up to date with shows. Liked Game of Thrones but the Walking Dead I don’t understand. I have a lot of friends who like it but I don’t understand.

    • palisades

      You should watch In Treatment. Wonderfully written and paced show about a therapist treating his patients. Each episode is him just sitting down with a patient and guiding them through their problems.

      • Pablo Raw

        Interesting, I’ve never heard about that one!

      • That sounds painful to watch to me!

        • Emmaleigh504

          +1 I’ve seen like 3 episodes of Tori Spellings new show with the therapy sessions and it is awful. Of course I have to watch b/c it’s a 90210 alum, but the therapy sessions are going to send me to the bin.

          • palisades

            Oh dear don’t compare Tori spelling faux reality non-sense to In Treatment. This show has some heavy and self-introspective material that really made me reconsider some things in my own life.

          • Emmaleigh504

            don’t knock my Tori! She’s got some very real issues she is trying to work through on TV for our entertainment. Seriously, I do not want to watch anyone’s therapy sessions real or fiction.

          • palisades

            OK. I guess we need to set up some ground rules. You don’t say anything bad about In Treatment if I refrain from talking about Mrs. Spelling

          • Emmaleigh504

            *Ms Spelling. I wasn’t saying anything bad about In Treatment! Just that that kind of show does not appeal to me. I never even hear of it until today. (I have showtime not hbo)

  • Rave: dragged my butt out of bed to run this morning! Almost didn’t, but I knew I’d be happy if I got out & I am 🙂
    Rant/Rave: courtesy of my slipping incident on the escalator, I have an impressive escalator-shaped bruise on my posterior. It’s pretty impressive! Weren’t we just discussing impressive bruises?
    Rant/Rave: Kiddo has been waking up super early yesterday and today. Fortunately, she’s entertaining herself rather than demanding attention–and this morning she went back to sleep for a little bit. I just worry that she won’t get enough sleep. But I probably shouldn’t borrow trouble.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: I found something I think my middle daughter will love for Christmas.
    Rant: If I order it now, it won’t arrive until January.
    Rave: Other than a couple of little things for my daughters and stocking stuffers, I’m pretty much done with my Christmas shopping.

  • Rave: Somewhat bossy colleague who was slated to become my new boss (despite being at the same GS level and a lower step within that level) is taking a job elsewhere.
    Rant: Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean I’ll get to keep my current boss.
    Rave: Ben & Jerry’s Volun-Tiramisu. Slightly hokey name, but a delicious flavor.
    Rave: Friend from high school who I haven’t seen in a few years is coming into town this weekend.

  • Mug of Glop

    Rant: It’s cold!
    Rave: I think I’m nearly back up to normal running shape after the marathon last weekend.
    Rant: That means rain runs…
    Rant: Office safety inspections today, so my coffee pot remains hidden in my desk and I remain thus far caffeine-free.

  • Andie302

    Rant: 4 year anniversary of my best friend losing her mom. I tend to be a “fixer” so it’s hard to know how to support her. I’m going up to visit this weekend – so some much needed time to catch up will hopefully help some. She hasn’t celebrated Christmas and I was hoping this might be the year to help her put a tree up, but it doesn’t sound like she’s ready.
    Rave: In comparison to this, all problems/issues seem insignificant. I feel very lucky.

  • epric002

    rave: got photos taken last night and ordered xmas cards today!
    rant: photo session ended with puppy puking all over the living room b/c he was over excited.
    rant: every day this week has felt like friday!
    rave: not really that ranty 🙂

  • Rant: Moving overseas, with a pet, renting out the house – The to-do list is like a frickin’ hydra – cut off one head, and soo many more spring up to take its place!
    Rave: Moving overseas, with a pet (and my fella!), renting out the house!
    Rant: All the snits and squabbles induced by the above.
    Rave: Deep breaths, it’ll all be done soon! Then bring on the schnitzel! (Moving to Germany)

  • Ravish rant? I have been reading too much POPville! I dreamt last night that I was involved in a pedestrian vs. cyclist physical altercation! pretty funny- i grabbed her face and pushed her down a la Will Ferrel after the tranquilizer dart in Old School 🙂

  • skj84

    Rant: Wifi at work caused hampered my first attempt at posting.

    Rant: Overwhelming sense of anxiety the past two days. Not sure if it’s seasonal sads or what, but it needs to go away.

    Rave: It’s been a chill week so far. I’ve been in hermit mode. Maybe this is the reason I’ve been feeling so down. Sitting by myself and overthinking things.

  • Rave: Update on the woman hit in her wheelchair yesterday in which the driver fled. I saw her interviewed on the news last night and she is cut and bruised but it going to be okay. Her $20,000 custom wheelchair was totaled. The father has what he thinks is a piece of bumper of the car that struck her but I’m not sure what good that is in his hands and not the cops without a chain of custody.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Cressida and Huxley were rolling a big snowball together again in My Holiday Village® this morning. How adorable! Apparently rolling a big snowball is the Nordic equivalent of Kickball. Their actual relationship though remains a mystery.
    Rave: I believe I’ve identified the woman shopping in the local bakery as the Mayoress Katniss Kjøttboller. This fine public official leads by example and shops local.
    Rave: The parties and large platters never end at the tavern!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: I have a cold and I feel very whiny.
    Rave: The Sisterhood: Becoming a Nun. The one who is always talking about Jesus flirting with her is so beyond my comprehension. I love it!

  • Need recommendations for a therapist– one who deals with anxiety & depression related to chronic illness. Must take insurance.

  • Rant: Just applied for my dream job at an org that uses a third-party job app service (you know, create a profile once so you can more easily apply for future job openings there) and got completely screwed by the broken interface.
    Used it to apply to a different position a few months ago and filled in multiple pages of job/school history, had to copy-paste a cover letter for that position, etc. Was applying for Dream Job yesterday and saw no option to upload a new cover letter or even view the old cover letter, so the CL in my profile is the CL specific to the LAST job I applied for. Lol it’s ok guys it’s not like I spent a week writing this CL or anything…
    Also got zero indication of when hitting “Submit” actually meant “Submit the full application to HR.” (There were several pages where Submit meant “go to the next page”). I email the helpdesk for the job app site after inadvertently submitting, and they told me each profile can only have one cover letter on file and I can’t change it or even see it, so my only option is to attach my cover letter to my resume PDF and upload the two together, hoping that HR doesn’t see the cover letter for the old position in whatever interface they use to screen applicants. Bullshit.
    Rave: My kittens are freaking adorable.

    • Emmaleigh504

      ugh I’m sorry. I hate those 3rd party apps things.

      • Thanks. The inability to review any of the personal details that I entered when I created my profile (with the exception of the most basic stuff like name/contact info/resume) is what’s most galling. I can’t even change or add to my job history!

        • You should contact the HR folks as this may impact their ability to select the best candidate. Call them and then send them your new CL, updated resume…and maybe they’ll realize they are wasting money with the 3rd party app company.

  • Accountering

    Rave: Just signed up for the 8:00AM Tough Mudder in Liberty State Park on November 7, 2015. Registration is only $99 if you sign up today or tomorrow. I am excited!

  • skj84

    Rant: I’m the only woman in my office. Most of the time it’s fine, but sometimes being the only lady amongst really young guys can be infuriating. Today is one of them. My coworker is doing the mansplaining thing again and I had to sit through some immature homophobic stuff yesterday.

    • Emmaleigh504

      ugh. that sucks.

    • Ugh, I’m right there with you. When one of my coworkers started making a talking-hand gesture whenever I started talking, and when another coworker replied-all to an email thread about an important meeting saying “SKT is just baking cookies for this, right?” was when I almost lost my sh*t. Don’t even get me started on the ‘women are crazy’ jokes that fly around this office on the daily.

      • Wow. Where do these kind of people come from?

      • Oh, jeez… I’m glad my coworkers are a bit less blatant about it to me since I’m American. Although I got majorly fed up with having to brew the coffee all the time – when I don’t drink it. The two women in my department will make it sometimes, but the men never do. And when we have business dinners at my boss’ house it’s the three of us women who do the setup and cleanup, not the guys. Grr.

        Heh, I also had lunch today with someone who was asking about our Thanksgiving traditions, and he asked “Do men or women cook turkey?” I stared blankly at him for a little bit…

        • Emmaleigh504

          my boss keeps hinting that I need to plan a Xmas luncheon for our group since the person who normally does it (and actually likes to plan stuff and likes this holiday) is out. I”m the only other woman right now and I keep wanting to yell at my boss to find someone who actually celebrates Xmas to plan it. No one wants me to plan Xmas anything, I will put a turd in the punch bowl.

        • Emmaleigh504

          You should start giving the men assignments to help set up, like hand one some napkins and tell them to put them on the table. delegate, delegate, delegate!

        • Pablo Raw

          I hate to say this but one of the things I never had to do in my life as I was growing up is cooking, it was my sister’s job and a culturally unfortunate thing.
          But I know how to make coffee and I’m very strict at my coworkers following the rules that I’ve imposed to them about how to make it 🙂 The specs have to do with getting the filter wet, the amount of coffee and water, and never, NEVER turn on the burners of the coffee machine.

        • @littlen, While I know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, it’s actually the younger American men who are the worst offenders in my office! This whole thread is making me rage-y.

          • Emilie – While I would love to, unfortunately that doesn’t really work with Japanese work culture. =/ It would be considered very inappropriate, especially since I am very low level…
            Pablo – Hahaha, well I am glad to hear you are the gatekeeper for your office coffee! 😉 If I actually drank coffee I wouldn’t be so bothered, but I don’t like it at all. I just make myself tea.
            SKT – Really? Oh, bah. Bad all around!

          • This thread is making me rage-y too, and not because I have these exact issues now, but because this happened at one of my old jobs. I was hired to work as a policy analyst and over the months I was there, my job became more about event planning every day. I couldn’t leave that place quickly enough. I respect event planning, but I didn’t study policy in grad school to become an event planner.
            Is it terrible that I have a bit of this kind of lady rage every day? Seriously, I could probably help fill a lady-oriented rant-and-revel thread every single day, mostly with rants.

          • I worry I’m so used to being the only female that I don’t notice subtle sexism. No one’s ever asked me to make coffee though.
            Once I had an interview for an engineering job, and they had me do a typing test and expound on my Excel knowledge. I thought that was weird until they made me a shockingly low offer, and then it dawned on me that they were trying to stick me in a secretarial position. Yeah, like I’m going to accept being paid 1/3rd of what I’m worth and not use any of my qualifications just because I’m a woman?

        • Honest question, why do you do it? Even when I worked in support, I didn’t make coffee, or clean up. If someone asked me about coffee, I just smiled sweetly and said “I don’t drink coffee” and turn pointedly back to my work. Which left them in the position of clarifying that they meant for me, a non-coffee-drinker, to make coffee for THEM. I never encountered anyone dense enough to go down that road.

          • Pablo Raw

            Is it part of the job description? (half kidding here) I mean, if they were addicts (like me) they would be doing it themselves out of desperation. Also if they really liked coffee, they wouldn’t let anybody make it for them unless it was another addict with the right knowledge about the coffee making art. If this conversation leads you to think that I have some control issues when it comes to coffee, you may be right. I was made an addict since very young age. 🙂

      • skj84

        Wow. That’s some bullshit. While no one has made any “women are crazy” comments yet, I’m waiting for it. And whether or not i’m going to have to go full feminist on these guys.

    • I hear ya. I’m always everyone’s default secretary at meetings because I’m the only woman here. My office is mostly old guys, so they’re mostly nice to me, but sometimes it comes across as patronizing

  • Rave: Dinner at Mintwood Place tonight
    Rant: Randomly was going to be on the same flight Saturday as my downstairs neighbor/friend but then my trip got delayed a day
    Rave: I likely avoided a wicked plane hangover
    Rave: Get to test out my new super warm down/faux fur parka in Russia
    Rant: I need said parka, brrrrrrr

  • Rant – This week is DRAGGING. Ugh I cannot believe it is only Wednesday. My boss is seriously getting on my nerves today. He tries to be friends with his employees instead of the boss, which is SO irritating and just ends up wasting my time because I don’t know what he actually wants from me.
    Rant – Power is out in my building and has been out for over 12 hours. Pepco says it will be back on around 5pm, I’m afraid most of the food in my fridge is bad by now, and I just went grocery shopping 🙁
    Rave – Trying out a new yoga class tonight.

    • If you haven’t opened your fridge, everything in it will be just fine. And a fuller fridge holds onto the cold better than an empty one!

    • epric002

      i’m trying a new yoga class tonight too! mine is “fusion flow”. what’s yours?

      • A kind of flow-class that is described as “dance like”… could be interesting! Since I moved I haven’t been able to go to my old neighborhood studio so I’m trying out a bunch of different classes at various Yoga District studios. It’s fun checking out different yoga styles (I did a pilates/yoga hybrid class the other day, oh my abs were killing me!) but I do miss my neighborhood studio.

        • epric002

          what is your old studio? i’m feeling very exploratory this week and am trying another new class on sunday: rocket yoga 🙂

          • I took classes at Georgetown Yoga, I love all their instructors. And their studio is open and relaxing. If you’re ever in Georgeotwn you should check them out!

            Ohh good luck with Rocket Yoga… that does sounds interesting.

          • I love rocket yoga! Who is your instructor?

          • Rocket yoga? Sounds fun – which studio? I need to try more yoga studios – I’ve been a big bah humbug since my teacher moved and then the (DC) studio is closing.
            By the way, From the Core (new yoga/pilates/etc studio at GA & Irving) has a groupon for classes. They have a great mix of classes

  • Rave: Just found out I was admitted to one of the law schools that I am very interested in– much earlier than I was expecting to hear back! Allison – your alma mater, hopefully we can discuss at a near future PoPville gathering 🙂
    Rant: The stress level is high at work.
    Rave: Heading to California on Friday for work then fun (after Tuesday at 10pm).
    Rant: Packing for California.

  • Rave: Had a call from a “Windows security company” saying they had my computer security license and saw I was getting warnings about viruses and…….I interrupted to say “you are a LIAR you are a SCAMMER and you should be ASHAMED of yourself and what you are doing. I’m calling the police! (he hung up).
    Calling police = empty threat of course, but it felt good to say.
    Rant: There are plenty of folks who are vulnerable to these calls. Need to warn my father!

    • Pablo Raw

      Unfortunately they have your number and they won’t take it off their list, so they’ll keep calling you.

      • Oh good – next time I’ll see how long I can keep them on the line asking lots of inane questions, putting them on hold while I get a pen, ooops I dropped the pen, hold on again….

        • Pablo Raw

          I had that problem with my previous phone number; I tried to be rational and asked them to take me off their list and they would hang up on me. Next time I see you I’ll tell you what I had to do, didn’t solve the problem but it was good for exercising my voice projection.

        • I Dont Get It

          I’ve received these calls and enjoy messing with them. First I thank them profusely for calling me back to fix my problem. Then I have trouble navigating to where they want me to go and then I “accidentally” reboot. My reboots are sloooooooowwww… usually by the third reboot they hang up in frustration.

  • Real estate question : I am purchasing a town home, paying full asking. Home inspection yesterday indicated that while currently functional, HVAC and water heater all all past their prime and will likely need replacing within the next year or so. Roof and windows are also at that age, roof is pending a more in depth inspection due to missing shingles in an area. The sellers replaced the windows in their bedroom, but not the rest of the house, which seems odd. The total cost to fix all these impending things is easily over $20k. I know home ownership has a cost, but that is a lot in a potentially very short time period. Inspector was also unsure if regular HVAC maintenance was being performed. Is there any room for negotiation here? It’s my first home buying experience and while I don’t want to look like those people on HGTV, I also don’t want to get in over my head. My realtor seemed to think that so long as the inspection didn’t say the house was falling down it was great news, so I’m not sure what to think.

    • This is a good question, and I’ll be interested to hear others’ responses. In the meantime, I have a question: did you have an inspection contingency in your contract? If so, I think you’ll have more options. Also, I’d add that your realtor likely wants to close the sale quickly and cleanly and has more incentives for that than you do. You might have to push him or her to do further negotiation because s/he may not want to do this otherwise.

    • Andie302

      You could try to negotiate, you just need to know that the deal may fall through. If you’re willing to risk that, then go back and ask. If you’re going to try and negotiate keep the list as short as possible, itemize each item and it’s associated cost, and then see what the seller says. It’s going to depend on the seller. The purpose of the inspection is to let you know exactly what you’re getting into. Now you know, and you can better assess whether you’re still interested in pursuing this. I’d say it’s not all that uncommon for a list this large to come up – it’s just that buyers often do not want to risk losing a deal over something and so they take the risk and plan for replacement of those items in the short term. Let me know if this makes sense and if you have any follow up questions. You may ask for all of this to be addressed and they may offer to meet you in the middle on these costs. You certainly had less of an idea than they did of the age/condition of the systems before going under contract, so they may even be expecting this. Good luck!

    • You can always ask the seller to take x amount off, but be prepared for the seller to say “No deal” or to counteroffer for a lesser amount. And it’s unlikely that you’ll get the actual replacement cost — more likely, some portion thereof.
      I think I was able to get the seller of my house to knock off $3,000 or so because the roof was in pretty shoddy shape. (The actual replacement cost was more like $8,000.)
      Are you purchasing an actual townhome with a homeowner’s association and HOA fee, or is it a rowhouse? (People sometimes use the terms interchangeably.)

    • It all depends on demand and how much you’re asking in return from the seller. If the seller thinks that they can easily find someone to pay full-asking without any subsidies, then they make back out of your current deal. However, it may not be worth their time to go through this process if the cost is relatively low or if the house isn’t in the hottest ‘hood. Basically it comes down to a judgment call – hopefully you have a great realtor!

    • jim_ed

      I’d want additional information about what “past their prime” means, I would think it’s too vague to make a demand of replacement with. Maybe pay for an HVAC inspection out of pocket to get a more in-depth idea of what kind of shape they’re in? A 15 year old ac can keep plugging away for years if the coil and compressor are in decent shape, likewise a 6 year old furnace will need to be replaced if its got a corroded heat exchanger. If you have solid proof that something is about to fail or is dangerous, you’ll likely get a lot better response from the owner.

      when we bought our house, it had some shoddy ductwork in the basement. We had a further inspection done by an HVAC tech and were able to show it wasn’t up to code, and got the full work paid for by the owner.

    • I asked for — and got — the seller to pay my closing costs as the place had a variety of things (boiler, roof, hot water heater) coming up on replacement time.

    • Our inspection was 15 pages of issues and we were buying the house “as is.” If that is the arrangement you made up front, your only recourse is to walk away from the deal (though we did ask the seller to fix an issue that occurred AFTER our initial inspection, and he did do that). If you don’t have an “as is” clause, then it can’t hurt to negotiate. The seller can’t terminate the deal just because you asked him/her to pay for a repair. However, be prepared for the seller to say no if you are buying in a hot area where they are likely to have lots of backup buyers. I also agree that you need to negotiate a specific repair, not just “the furnace is old so it might need to be replaced soon.”
      FWIW, we knew we were buying a house that needed some work and figured we’d spend maybe $50K on fixing it up. $140K later we’re still not done. If we hadn’t made good money on our previous home sale, we would have been up a creek, so just make sure you’re comfortable with what you’re getting into.

    • Accountering

      I would give it a shot. Worst they can say is no. With that said, you knew (or should have known) going into it that the windows were old. The water heater is cheap (1,000ish) and the furnace is definitely more, but not that much more. I would go and ask for a few thousand to take care of either the furnace or hot water. If I was selling a house with old windows, and you came to me asking for money to replace them, I would tell you to pound sand. The old windows were definitely a factor in the lower selling price, the HVAC and Hot Water, maybe not so much.

  • Rant: it doesn’t stop! Another black man (Eric Garner) killed by the police and can’t even get the cotdsmn case to even go to trial, even when there is video of the event. Why no lesser charge especially when the cop used an illegal chokehold? I’m sure many of you will come up with bs excuses but they all fall short on this one. This man did nothing wrong and was killed because he was big and black. Yeah the cop didn’t intend to kill him but Garner’s death was a result of the cops actions, same way if I shoot at someone but kill someone else, I’m getting charged with involuntary manslaughter at least. Another sad day for justice and humanity.

    • He was being arrested for suspicion of selling loosies (loose cigarettes) which I don’t think was ever proved that he was at the time. Then they say he resisted but the video says otherwise to me, dude had his damn hands up and palms open.

      • I think I recall seeing that video. It was a really bizarre, slow-motion kind of thing- he wasn’t actively fighting, but the whole thing was just weird. I don’t think the cops meant to kill the guy, so you’d have a really hard time proving it was intentional. But I’m wondering if it could be taken up in a civil court… hmm. Not sure what to think of the whole thing.

    • epric002

      i agreed. i am disgusted and depressed.

  • binpetworth

    Sad rant: A.J. Cooper passed away. He seemed liked a good guy; I really had high hopes for his future political career.

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