“An Open Letter to the Galaxy Note 3 Owner”

Photo by PoPville flickr user Laura_Grageda

“Dear Galaxy Note 3 Owner,

It was really cool checking out your phone last night. It is so big! It was basically the perfect size to block out me having to see any of that annoying band playing in the background. The way you held it directly in front of my face definitely helped obscure the view and blocked those God awful bright lights they kept flashing in my eyes.

I am really impressed with the features that your phone the size of a laptop possess. How much memory does that thing have? You must have taken at least 80 pictures! I am glad you didn’t waste time just standing there watching that [again, annoying] band, but instead were chronicling the event for later. You are going to love those pics. So jealous. And the quality looked so sharp –those photos absolutely capture the feeling of what it was like to be there. It felt like I was seeing a live show through your screen. And if they didn’t, oh man, I am sure that video you took of their most “popular” song definitely did. I mean, you got the whole thing! That will be a real treat for you to go back and watch over and over and over again in the comfort of your own home, when there are not all those jerks standing around you trying to strain the heads to NOT look at your phone.

I was so embarrassed for that idiot with the iPhone. Remember when he pulled that wimpy thing out and tried to take his own picture? He only got one! And then went back to talking and laughing with his friends. How is he going to remember what it felt like to be at a live concert like that? It is people like that that really get to me. That guy is probably going to go through life just experiencing things as they happen to him. What, no pictures?! I bet he doesn’t even post the ones he does take to Facebook so everyone can see exactly what is happening that moment in his life like you did. I think I hate that guy.

I am sorry we didn’t exchange information. But I have no doubt that I will run into you again at another show. And at a hockey game. And in that new restaurant. And that art gallery. And on the sidewalk (for some reason). I cannot wait for all the times that I will get to look at your great big phone instead of being pestered by the stupid crap that is going on around me. It doesn’t even have a filter!

Sincerely,
Accidentally Living My Real Life”