Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user JEO Photography

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

246 Comment

  • Rave: Been trying a few meal delivery services (Blue Apron, HelloFresh, Plated) lately, thanks to friends/family with discount codes and really like them. They’re really not much more expensive than the grocery store for me, less waste, and more creative recipes. I’m sure POPville will have lots to say about how it’s a yuppie waste of money but for me (single, often has to work late, likes cooking) they’re great – added bonus that I’m eating less processed frozen meals!

    Rave: If anyone wants a discount code for Plated or Hello Fresh (2 free meals from Plated, $20 off HelloFresh) let me know!

    Rant: The humidity and my hair do not get along. Ah, summer.

  • justinbc

    Rant: Hair salons and barbershops that don’t allow customers to add tips to the credit card slip we just signed. Even the much maligned DC taxi system has finally exited the 19th century and started accepting credit cards, it’s about time you caught up with the rest of the world and stopped evading taxes or whatever the hell reason you’ve got for doing this.

    • Every barbershop I have gone to asks if I want to add a tip to the CC charge. For a split second, when I say “no,” I always get the worst look (and then I add that I will just give a cash tip).

  • Rave: Professor who called me “baby” in class has sincerely apologized. I’m still not thrilled it happened in the first place, but it’s nice to have an apology, and a truly sincere one at that.
    Rave: Possibly publishing a speech I wrote for said class based on positive feedback from other professors. My ego!
    Rant: Possibly publishing work of mine on the internet. Agh, trolls.
    Rant: Supposed to play soccer tonight but can’t find my shin guards. Oops?

    • justinbc

      Well at least this website (although it’s nowhere near as bad as others) will have prepared you well for the imminent anonymous troll comments 🙂

    • I’m looking for a place to play low-key pickup soccer… any recommendations? The game I used to attend moved their start time up on Saturday mornings to 930 am.

      • There’s a pickup game on the Bundy field (5th and P) every Saturday morning. Think they generally play from 10-1 or so?

      • I play in an organized league (7v7 coed), so I’m not sure about the pickup options. If you’re looking for something more organized, the league is: http://www.metrosportsleagues.com

      • I used to play at the Coed league that played at Cardozo. We were always looking around for extra players when folks were late or had to work or something. There were always guys hanging around that we would recruit. Maybe worthwhile to chat with some teams there.

  • Rave: found tickets to the Geographer & Tokyo Police Club show at Black Cat tonight.
    Rant: have to make it through the work day first

    • I am going to that show too! Very excited for geographer 🙂

      • Yea they’re my primary reason for going. I haven’t seen them live yet, but heard great things and based on Youtube videos I don’t expect to be disappointed.

  • Rave: I have had an incredibly productive week so far.
    Rant: There’s still so much to do.
    Rave: Sunshine! I am trying not to complain about the swampy heat (which I fear is here to stay) because I longed for warmer weather all winter. It is just going to take a lot of water and sunscreen to get through what I fear will be a brutal summer.
    Rave: I had a very relaxed evening in with my partner. Marriage is awesome when it involves the right person. I got lucky.
    Rave: Volunteer work. It feels good to contribute to organizations that do good.

  • Rant: Return of humid summer
    Rave: Trying to somehow enjoy it after this winter
    Rave: Have Friday off, going to bike all around town watching others bike to work for Bike To Work Day

  • Rave: Started seeing someone who I’ve been friends with for a long time. We never really acted on the mutual feelings, and now that we have – it’s great. Excited to see where we go!
    Rant: Humidity.

    • Nice!

    • Hey, I’m marrying my best friend, so I endorse this strategy. (Yeah, yeah, everyone says they’re marrying their “best friend,” and it’s usually true…but I mean we were best friends *before* we started “dating,”…so…I win!)

      • We’ve known eachother for a few years, but the timing was never right (always seeing someone else, or just too busy to commit). We made the leap, and we’ll see where it goes!

  • Rave: I had a great house warming this weekend. There was a good turn out and it was nice to see my friends from different parts of my life mingling.
    Rave: the first stress inducing meeting of the week went well. I got a good amount of credit for it going well.
    Rant: there are 3 more stress inducing meetings this week, including an all day one on Friday that will be stressful throughout.
    Rant: I’m getting sick during mega stress week. Ugh, I can’t miss these meetings and I don’t want to run myself ragged before this weekend. I have a wedding and a 1st birthday I’m really looking forward to and I want to be able to go to them. Plus, I rented an awesome dress for this wedding.

    • epric002

      rent the runway or something else? what do you think of it? i’ve been reluctant to try, b/c every dress i like has a review that makes me think it won’t work with my size/shape…

      • FWIW – I have done rent the runway 2 times and each time it has been fantastic. You can choose 2 sizes so there is a little flexibility with that. The reviews are great and have been accurate for me so far!

      • Yes, it’s Rent the Runway. I got a pro account because I had a coupon and I think it only took 2 rentals to make it worthwhile. The free birthday rental was awesome, I got a dress and a necklace for free!
        I think the reviews and pictures are really helpful. Basically, I shop the dresses the same way I shop anything else. I know that tiny cap sleeves will make me look like a football player, so I avoid those, if the dress looks short on the model, it’ll be a tunic on me, etc. I am renting a full length dress for this weekend’s wedding and I am actually a bit nervous. I’m getting the long length, but I’m still not sure it’s going to be long enough and I don’t have dressy flats. I’m hoping this works out.

      • I use Rent the Runway and love it. It is especially useful during wedding season when you can’t wear the same dress to every wedding (especially when weddings involve the same social circle). And it is fun to wear designer clothes that I can never justify buying just to wear to 1-2 formal events a year. I haven’t had a problem with sizing, but I also read reviews closely and pick dresses cut in a style that I know is generally flattering for my body (for me, that’s anything A-line).

      • epric002

        ugggggh. i am having such a hard time with this. i’m usually in between 3 sizes depending on brand/style/cut. and their bra size options are way too limited. and i wish they included actual bust/waist/hip measurements…..maybe RTR just isn’t for me. 🙁

  • Rave: Have a job…
    Rant: My job. ugh!
    Random: Where do people go to listen to cheap (or free) kinda grungy punk rock around here?

    • Check out DC Showspace’s website.

    • The Pinch, DC 9 has a lot of cheap shows, St. Stephens, Black Cat back room, and there have been some random shows at Show Time recently.

    • I second the recs for Black Cat backstage, DC9, and the Pinch. These are good for sleazy punk/garage/rock and roll. St. Stephens is cool but leans more towards to all-ages hardcore crowd (which is also great, but may not be what you’re looking for). Paper Sun in Columbia Heights (may have a new name now?) occasionally has cool shows. Most recently, couple of weeks ago, the Ar-Kaics from Richmond.

  • epric002

    rant: street harassed/hit on by some kid at least 15 years my junior at the petworth metro last night. i politely told him that while he thought he was being complimentary, we did not know each other and he really shouldn’t comment on my physical appearance. i should have told him that i was old enough to be his mother and to pull his damn pants up.
    rant: the woman who thought it was a good idea to wear white short shorts and stiletto heels to work today. the fact that you added a blazer did not make your outfit work appropriate.
    rant: this weather is making me cranky.

    • I am always amazed by the stuff women, and especially interns, wear to work in the summer. I am a 30 year old woman and I like to wear cute summer dresses to work, but they need to COVER things up. Shorts and a blazer are not office appropriate.

      • I’m old(ish) and LOVING the shorts-as-officewear trend! (Provided of course the shorts are long enough to FULLY cover your backside.) Take every bit of comfort you’re allowed, sisters. Brothers, too. I feel so bad for the gentlemen in suits on days like today. I wish they could wear nice tailored shorts.

        • epric002

          perhaps shorts are ok in more creative industries, but i work in the pentagon. shorts are not ok in this environment. i do agree w/you that the traditional men’s business attire is miserable in this heat. i wish we could take a cue from SE asia or miami and loosen up the restrictions for them a bit. it would also cut back on ACing the heck out of office buildings.

          • Ha people in the pentagon dress like fools…I see a lot of party dresses and hooker heels. I usually chock it up to people who have never had to dress themselves before (i.e. uniforms)

          • epric002

            anon @ 11:34- i agree. it’s entertaining/disturbing to see what some people think is appropriate business wear. of course, when no one provides any guidance to young people about the appropriate dress for that office environment…that doesn’t help either. this particular shorts offender was definitely old enough to know better. mostly i’m just baffled as to *how* anyone can get around the pentagon in those absurdly high heels- there is waaaaay too much walking here for me to even consider anything over a mid-height wedge.

        • I feel sorry for men in offices during the summer. Bermuda shorts, knee socks and loafer should be within dress code at this latitude.

      • YMMV. I don’t think most “cute summer dresses” are office appropriate.

        • *sigh* Women keeping women down.
          “I had to toe the line, so you do too!”
          The worst enemy of women in the workplace is more senior women in the workplace.
          So pleased that I’m able to run my programs with an emphasis on skills, and not appearance.

          • I respectfully submit that the worst enemy of women in the workplace are patriarchal men who tend to run said workplace, with women keeping women down ultimately a nasty side effect of that more general condition.

          • “The worst enemy of women in the workplace is more senior women in the workplace.”

            This has been my experience. It’s unfortunate.

          • skj84

            agreed with both you and Logan Square beneath your post. I was lucky enough to work in a semi creative environment where both male and female employees were encouraged to dress in a trendy yet professional manner. Tats were ok and If the woman wanted rock stilettos no one batted an eye. Of course there were limits but everyone looked great and it really worked with the vibe of the place. While I do think shorts at work is pushing it I honestly don’t understand the issue with stiletto heels? I think anyone woman confident to stand in walk in 4 inch heels looks super powerful. I could do 3 inch shoes at work, but I stood most of the day. If I had a desk job I totally would rock a pair of power heels.

          • epric002

            i personally don’t think that stiletto heels are very professional (for where i work), but that’s just me. it’s the combo of short shorts and stilettos in this case. the shorts on their own were inappropriate, but with the heels it really just looked like club-wear.

          • I’m not a woman nor am I in a position of management. I’m old school, depends on what you do of course but I think work is is for work, not for fashion shows (applies to men too.)

        • PP who posted about wearing cute summer dresses. Now, I don’t think short little dresses that are strappy are appropriate. but you cant tell me that a cute summer dress from jcrew, banana, or anthropologie aren’t appropriate to wear to work…

      • I am fairly young but I have seen an over 30 year old woman wear Bermunda shorts to work and she justified it by saying she was wearing heels. thats ok on a casual friday but not when you are in meetings all day.

    • When I was in my early 20s, I wore shorts to work once (I was in an administrative office where nobody saw me but still, i shouldn’t have) and let me tell you, I never did that again! The supervisor made it clear that was not appropriate and I was never to do it again. She was pretty stern and I was embarrassed. I see some pretty inappropriate outfits when I am walking around and I always winder where the person works, and if their supervisors are okay with them or ever say anything.

    • houseintherear

      There’s a real irony to your entire post… I hope you can see it and recognize the glitch in your thinking, and maybe work to change it.

      • Not sure why people think a dress code is de facto sexist or oppressive. While standards have relaxed or disappeared in a lot places, there are still a number of places where appearances matter because the person who cuts think they matter (because that person feels they matter to the customers/clients/coworkers). It falls more heavily, I suppose, on women, because they have more options — I’m unsure what the male equivalent of a “cute summer dress” and I don’t think there are many non-beachwear options for guys that want to show a “distracting” amount of cleavage or leg. But people with money, especially in DC, are still more comfortable spending it in an environment where people look “professional” and even a little staid. Until that changes, there will be a lot of workplaces where dressing like you’re going to party or just hanging out with friends isn’t going to cut it.

      • epric002

        approaching a stranger and telling them what you think of their body =/= disagreement over what is appropriate business wear. i’m totally ok believing that there are times and places where certain things (attire, behavior, language, etc.) are inappropriate.

  • Accountering

    Rave: Fun night light night
    Rave2: Thinking I am getting ready to book flights to Spain/Portugal for this fall to celebrate a huge life event. Will likely try and get my best friend to join.
    Rave3: He will very likely be in. Should be a good trip!

    • Huge fan of Spain (and Portugal) here. Go! You won’t regret it. If you need advice, just ask!

    • If it’s the event I think you’re referring to, I highly recommend it. After mine, I headed straight to the beach for five days with my closest girlfriends. Mayhem ensued, and we’re still talking about that trip a couple years later. Best wishes!

      • Accountering

        Rave: Friends
        Rave2: Just texted said dude (Mintwood!) and he said he is in. He also suggested we swing through Ibiza if we are going to do it.

        • San Sebastian was also beautiful…probably too cold for the beach…but the food, hike up the hill overlooking the harbor, and the architecture were totally worth stopping for a day or so at the end of November. I imagine you would have even better weather earlier in the year. Have fun planning!

        • Ibiza shuts down in last week of September, FYI.

  • Rant: NONE TODAY!!!

    Rave: Kicking around the idea of renting my spare bedroom out for some extra “blow it” cash every month. I have had a commuter roomie before M-TH but not sure how good I would do with someone around full time. Finding the right person, and getting a compensation level to make me not mind it so much is the key lol. All you renters out there, what is it worth to you, what can I realistically price it at? I have no clue. Before I provide the description let me also say that it would not be your normal rental situation, you would not be considered an equal partner, this is my house, and everything in it is mine (fully furnished) so you would need to respect the property (i.e. I don’t wanna come home to unannounced guests or a party of any kind, don’t leave my good kitchen knives laying in water, etc lol). I know that is not for everybody. all utilities included (Electric, Cable/Internet/Gas/ Central heat and AC, kept 68 – 70 year round)

    Neighborhood: SMASHING Bloomingdale!!!!!!
    Type: Penthouse Condo, 2 bed 2 bath, private roof deck, laundry in unit, Luxury, granite/stainless/marble/loft, Flooded in light all day (SE Exposure with skylights) and black out bamboo shades in the bedroom if you are a cave sleeper.
    Room/Bath: Fully furnished bedroom with double bed, 27″ flat screen TV, Cable, Desk, wireless internet. Hardwood floors with carpets, city-quiet windows in the bedroom for quiet sleep, overhead fan, full bath with marble and granite just outside your bedroom door (your private bath, although it would be used by guests which is almost never)

    Basically move in with just a suitcase and have a ready made good life (with a cool although picky room mate lol)

    What is this kind of place worth in DC?

    • Accountering

      I think the conditions you are putting on the place, mean you are going to cost yourself a significant bit. I don’t know how you can get a full time roommate, and say its not an equal partner.

      There is a difference between telling someone they need to respect your things (not leave knives in water etc) but then to say they are not an equal partner. I would certainly not live with you, so you are definitely looking for something unique. Perhaps a commuter roommate is the best bet for you?

      My guess is, based on your preferences, and the way you described it, you are not going to be able to get enough money to make it worth your time/stress.

      • Accountering

        Meh, I take it back. You can likely find someone who is amenable to this situation, and probably get around $1,200 or so. Perhaps more. Its hard for me to throw a number out there, as I am partial to not being treated as a second class citizen 🙂

        • You are looking at it from someone who wants to be an equal partner. I would think there are many who do not. Many people want a very nice place to live full of nice things without having the expense of buying them. I would think there are people who come to the city to try it out, or for a new job and would love to not have the stress of finding their own place and starting a new home. You are right, I would expect a person who can respect my home and property to pay less than someone who wants to do what ever the hell they wish lol.

          • Accountering

            Exactly. That is why I corrected my original statement 🙂 I tend to agree, you will very likely be able to find a 32 year old who just got a job as a Fed Lawyer or something in Noma, and is new to the city for which your arrangement will work. I was looking at it from my perspective, which doesn’t really apply, as I wouldn’t be interested in your arrangement.

            It sounds like a nice place, and something a mid 30’s or mid 40’s could definitely be interested in.

    • I’m thinking of doing this also with some of the same terms, so I’m interested in the replies you will get.

    • Sounds to me like you should do Air BnB instead of a roommate. You only have people for as many days a month as you choose, they’d seriously only be bringing a suitcase, wouldn’t be having parties because they don’t know anyone, and each night you suffer through their presence, you get $100 or whatever. Of course, you’d also have to be friendly and welcoming enough for them to give you good reviews.

      • naaaaa that would not work for me. I think what is unusual here is that I don’t NEED a room mate (as most do when looking for one to help pay the bills). I can do fine without one. I would like to find someone stable that I like so I don’t mind having someone around (cool fun responsible sane person). That is more important than the money. No way I want multiple strangers through my home on a monthly basis, that is about as far as what I am considering as it can be lol (not judging others, just not my thing).

        • If you don’t need a roommate and you are picky about your things, I would advise you not to get one. Anyone can agree to your conditions, but you won’t know whether or not they’ll actually abide by it till they move in. In my old house, I rented my basement out (it was not a separate unit, but had its own bathroom). My roommate was constantly in my kitchen/leaving a mess/moving things and it bugged the crap out of me. I did not NEED a roommate, but I thought it would be good for extra cash. Nice guy, but the money was not worth the headache of not having privacy and my space the way I wanted it.

          • Agreed. If you want the extra money, but still want to feel like you are living alone you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

          • +1 to “If you don’t need a roommate and you are picky about your things, I would advise you not to get one.”
            I’m picky about my things. I could easily have accommodated a housemate when I moved into my house… but I didn’t want to deal with the hassle.

    • I don’t think taking care of your furnishings, kitchen items, etc. would be a negative factor for someone looking for a room. That’s common courtesy, and, like you said below, it’s a benefit for the person to be able to use your nice stuff instead of purchasing their own.

      If I were a prospective tenant, I WOULD be very wary of any landlord who restricted visitors.

      • Yeah the whole “no unannounced visitors” thing would be a deal breaker for me as a tenant too. You just basically described what it would be like to pay rent to live with your parents. And I’m not badmouthing Bloomingdale but if I were to consider that arrangement it certainly wouldn’t be in that part of the city.

        But that’s just me, you may find some sucker desperate enough to pay you what you want

        • I’ve had the ‘no unexpected visitors” rule for both of us before and it worked out. Plus if I’m hanging out in the living and get a message someone is coming over I go to my room.

        • Exactly. This sounds like a terrible deal for the potential renter.
          And, no offense OP, but you sound obnoxious and entitled. Don’t get a renter, you’re just going to drive that person crazy.
          That said, this could make for some entertaining Rant and/or Revel’s if the new roommate joins PoPville 😀

          • 100%
            I’m a very respectful roommate. I like the house to be clean, but don’t push it on anyone else. If it isn’t as clean as I would like it, I clean it. Rarely have guests in the common areas, etc. I don’t see all that much wrong with the OP’s wishes (except the ban on unannounced visitors), but being laid out like that would send me running.
            When you are renting from someone who either owns the house/apt or who is fully established there, you know that you are temporarily borrowing their space. I don’t think that translates to being unequal partners though. It’s just something that the lessor has to come to terms with.

    • I have a furnished room that I rent out near the blue/orange line and have had good luck reaching out to people on the “housing wanted” section of craigslist that seem like a good match. I haven’t had any bad experiences so far, and the arrangements are usually shorter term (3-6 months) so that if there’s an issue, it’ll be resolved in a matter of months. Right now I have a guy that’s very nice, super quiet and respectful, works a ton, and is shopping to buy a house. I’m sure there are other busy people that just want something convenient. He pays $900/month plus utilities, and he shares a bathroom with my full time roommate (who’s a friend). When I don’t have a third roommate my other roommate pays me more…so she gets some benefit from him being there too.

    • I think you could find someone if you lay out your expectations, but I would not put it out there that you are not looking for an “equal partner”. If you want someone who will respect your furniture, not bring any guests unannounced, just say that. Those are all reasonable requests. But if I read “I don’t want an equal partner,” I would run, fast, because what would that mean? I have to do all the cleaning for the whole place? Do I have to pay all the utilities? I’m not allowed to say anything if your TV-watching keeps me up at night?

    • houseintherear

      I’ve been renting a room in my Bdale home in the same manner for a few years. I just spelled out in my CL ad exactly what I expected. Mainly, I did not want to share the living room (no drinking wine and chatting together), and they should expect to have their room, a bathroom, use of the kitchen for cooking and laundry stuff, and that’s about it. And I charged a couple hundred bucks less that other house-shares in the area to accommodate my demands. I have charged $850/mo for the last few years but I think I could get up to $950 with the same arrangement.
      That said, I recently decided that I can’t handle having a roomie anymore because I’m essentially too old for that s**t, so I’m going to give AirBnB a try this summer, or maybe do some short terms if I feel like having the extra money. I’ve had the renters to help me pay off grad school and some debts, and now that I’m done doing that the monetary pressure is off… so we are in similar situations! Hello, competition! 🙂

      • Take some time to look over Airbnb listings – it is actually a hot mess for DC with about 2000 listings. You need to really do some work to understand how people are searching, and what your competition is – (including discount hotel sites.) There are some good listings on Airbnb – but LOTS more overpriced & generally frustrating & cluttered. Really a missed – messed up – opportunity for both hosts and guests.

        You might have better luck looking for 1-2 month rentals on CL – people moving to DC and needing a place to land while they look for a permanent place. I’ve had 100% success doing this in Jan-Feb. when my vacation rental apt. – otherwise booked for tourists – is slow.

  • Rave: Bahamas in a week
    Rant: Waiting a week to go to the Bahamas
    Rave: Glad it’s cooling down a bit, I’m all for sunny weather, but the humidity I can’t deal with

  • Rave: Going to the black cat tonight for tokyo police club and geographer! Coffe meets BAGEL girl (thanks for correcting my horrible spelling) texted me yesterday asking how my week was looking and if i was interested in meeting up again!
    Rave: Grabbing a drink after work wednesday.
    Rave: Women who communicate, not girls who play games. Men thank you.

    • Since I am new to the online dating thing (and out of dating practice in general), i have a question: if you wanted to see her, why not ask her? Is her not asking you a “game?”

      • I was planning to follow up with her (I picked the time and location of the first date) its just nice when a girl is also confident enough to ask me to go out also. That is appealing to me, especially in the early goings of a relationship. She just beat me to it, and i also only have one free day this week but it turns out she is free on that day 🙂

    • You should really pick a screen name!

      • screen name should be bagelboy

        • I had a user name, but then i made a comment and was getting a lot of “trolling” type comments on my posts, so i went back to Anon. I also dont really like the user names i came up with originally and now im out of email addresses, fb, and twitter accounts to link it to.

          • You can just pick a name w/out registering it (although if you register it’s easier to post). You can be bagelboy, beagleboy….

  • Rave: Leaving for vacation to Aruba tomorrow.
    Rant: Having to re-do several pages of budget reporting because my accounting department is the worst. I’m so glad I saved all the work locally before submitting it so it shouldn’t take more than an hour or two to repopulate it in the system. What I REALLY want to do is attach all the work to several e-mails and tell them to fix it themselves – and to go stuff it. Always think first before you delete stuff folks! This is your friendly PSA of the day. This rant is long and I’m so sorry. See above rave.
    Rave: The weather! (and anti-humidity hair spray). I love the heat of all kinds.

    • Accountering

      Accountants are the worst!

      • Lol! However, I imagine that you don’t wreak havoc on all the things arbitrarily.

        • Accountering

          I am not a havoc wrecker. I prefer to be a value-add, as opposed to a typical accountant. It has worked out well for me so far 🙂

          • We need more people like you! So far I’ve encountered two types of accountants: Animal and the Swedish Chef.

          • Accountering

            I am easily the most awesomeist (haha) accountant I know, well, Mintwood is awesome too, but he is more of an accountant/consultant.

    • If you can get out to the natural pool, it’s gorgeous. If you have some cajones then I would recommend renting a jeep to do the drive out there. It’s insane (very rough terrain, but also a lot of fun to drive) and you can wait out the random tourist groups that are only there for 30-45 minutes and have the place to yourself. It’s one of the top five most beautiful places I’ve visited. Have a wonderful trip!

  • Rant: Without seeming overeager, I know this person is the one I want to marry. It’s only been four months, is it too soon to know that? I’ve been married before and it was never like this. Ever.
    Rave: Life feels so boundless with this person. I feel like I can do anything.

    • Speaking from experience (although i am only 25 and never married) four months seems a bit soon to know for sure, but i am one of these people who feels like you need to get into some sort of fight or disagreement before you can know they are the one. Being able to compromise seems like a very important trait in a partner, and i have been the ugly side of people (at the 6 month mark) and felt like i barely knew the person (who i thought i was going to be in a long term relationship with) aka i visited her family in another state twice, she met my parents ect. But that is great that things are going well! That is what you want in a relationship to be positive and believe that they could be the one 🙂

    • It’s not to soon to “feel” it, but it probably is too soon to “know” it. But, you know, all the cool reception venues are already rented through fall and and you can’t really know someone until you’ve been on at least one disastrous trip with them. So treat them nice, have sex and cook together, book a vacation to some impoverished third world location like Venezuela or Arkansas, and see how it plays out.

      • Florida, too.

      • Agree. You can feel it, and you might just be right, but there’s no point in rushing into anything. If you get married now, or in 10 years, you’re still enjoying each others company just as much, for just as long. Unless of course, you have some sort of religious or cultural restrictions to what you can do before getting married. But otherwise, just enjoy each other, and don’t worry about labeling your relationship.

    • When I met my husband I knew it was going to be a very long term relationship or marriage after only a few weeks of dating. I don’t believe in love at first sight or anything like that, but it was clear from the start that we were both taking this relationship seriously, we really liked each other, and we had similar goals in life. I don’t think its often you find someone who meets those qualifications, and when it lines up, it all just makes sense.

    • I thought I was with my future husband, and I got dumped at the 3 year mark.

      • That’s terrible. I hope you’re back out there!

        • Nope! Sure am not. It happened in September, don’t think I ever want to date again.

          • Could be worse – you could get dumped during your engagement while trying to plan a long distance wedding (like me).
            Fortunately, I now have a wonderful new girlfriend and we’re working on moving to the West Coast together (she starts her doctorate program in October). However, I did not meet her until I spent a restless, drunken year post-break up sleeping with every young foreign lady that laid eyes on me in a fruitless attempt to dull my pain.
            So get back out there and meet people. It gets better, I promise. You’ll need to churn through a few guys before you regain your confidence. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. The sooner you start this process, the sooner you’ll be ready to meet the right guy.

    • My parents got engaged after three months and have been married for 34 years. (Fun fact, when they called my Dad’s parents to say they were engaged, my grandmother said “…to who?”). When you know, you know.

    • skj84

      My parents were engaged after four months. They married the next year and have been married 38 years. Sometimes you just know.

    • epric002

      generally, it’s not too soon. i mostly knew with my now-husband at about the 3-4 month point. that being said, are you often over-eager in this way?

      • No, not often over-eager this way. In fact, usually very guarded. Especially after my divorce a couple years ago. That’s why I’m questioning myself is it’s too soon to feel this way.

  • Rant: colleague/stranger congratulated me on my upcoming baby (via email)…I’m not pregnant! Just gained a ton of weight this winter due to extreme stress and depression and trying to fix it via chocolate. It’s not someone I see or really interact with, so I don’t feel compelled to correct.
    Rave: already started to reset my nutrition and exercise patterns and feel good about it.
    Question: any suggestions on where to sell/consign an engagement ring? I was going to do it at my local jeweler back home, but figured it would sell quicker here. I already have an appraisal.

    • I took a beating on the actual value of mine but found a local jeweler that replied via craigslist. He was a tough negotiator…we literally had more than 40 emails back and forth. Ultimately he paid me $3200 cash for a stone that was appraised at $5500. I used the cash to pay off a debt accrued by my ex…so I didn’t feel so bad about taking such a beating. Good luck! Make sure to include “cash only and local pick up” in your ad…you’ll get a lot of random people with weird internet stories about relatives in other states, complete with relationship details. They will want to use paypal…don’t do it. It was pretty entertaining.

    • You should definitely correct your impolite coworker, for two reasons: 1. People like her need to learn how inappropriate it is to comment on someone’s pregnancy before they announce it themselves (and via email? what?) I’ve gotten “Are you pregnant?” too, and if it’s a stranger, I say “No, I’m just fat, thanks,” but that may not work for you depending on the situation. 2. What if she starts telling everyone in the office that you’re pregnant and it gets around to someone you do know? Maybe I’m paranoid from reading too many advice columns, but it could happen.

      • Agree with Anon, you need to correct the clueless/rude/stupid co-worker. They need to learn that asking these questions/assuming things is simply not ok. Fine they can think it but adults don’t actually voice those thoughts.

        • I would if it was a co-worker, but it’s a colleague from a different agency based across the country, who only knows me through a mutual acquaintance from grad school. There isn’t that much of a chance for it to circle back here to DC or my job. The more likely scenario is that it could travel back to my hometown, and eventually my parents, which I kinda find interesting.

    • Why not give it back to the guy?
      (I realize I’m making a significant number of assumptions here)

      • You sure are! Like, for instance, that the guy was the one who actually paid for the ring. Or, that ownership of the ring wasn’t already negotiated in the divorce settlement. Among many. many others. Plus, I didn’t ask what should I do with the ring, I asked for places to sell it.

      • If a couple breaks up during the engagement period AND the ring was provided by the man (or other woman, in the case of a lesbian relationship), the woman receiving the engagement ring needs to give it back. This is actually settled case law.
        If they marry and then subsequently divorce, the woman who received the ring is allowed to keep it, regardless if it was purchased by the man or an heirloom from the man’s family. Entering into the contract of marriage is the deciding factor.
        Also, you shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Kinda tacky, IMHO. MYOB.

        • justinbc

          Regarding your first statement, it depends on the state. Some view it as a conditional gift and others allow you to keep it.

        • “This is actually settled case law.” Settled where? It may be settled in whatever jurisdiction you took the bar (and if you didn’t take the bar, why are you answering?), but justinbc below is mostly correct. There are a few places where fault matters, too.

  • Rave: Even though it’s really hot and muggy out, I’m trying to remember how much I missed walking to work in the winter. So, rave that I can walk to work now!

    Rant: Work 😛 Nothing specific, just really not in the mood to tackle the things on my list.

    Rave: Really fun weekend planned.
    Rant: It’s still 3 days away!!

    • Your rave is my rant – now that it’s getting hot and muggy out I’ll stop walking to work – walked to work all winter and loved it!

  • so did anyone start that brunch club meet up group? 🙂

  • Rave: I was able to get an appointment as a new patient with a dermatologist next week! I expected there to be a 6 week waiting period, at least.

    Rant/rave: worried about a few abnormal moles, but know that they’ll be taken care of soon.
    Rant: Drivers and bikers who feel the need to pull halfway into an intersection while pedestrians are still mid-cross. A car gunned it through 17&S this morning and I thought he was about to run me over. I don’t care if YOU know you’re not going all the way through the intersection – the people who you’d run over don’t! Let them cross safely – it’s 10 more seconds out of your day.

  • Question for the community: At the grocery store yesterday, I was in line behind someone who was in a food assistance program. I guess he went over some preset allotment because the cashier told him that he couldn’t buy an entire bag of grapes because they were too expensive. The cashier offered to remove grapes until it came in under the limit, which the customer agreed to. I wanted to offer to chip in whatever the difference was, but thought that might embarrass him or just add confusion to the process. What do you think? Help out or not?

    • Accountering

      Meh, I did this once. Dude was buying two 5lb things of 73/27 ground beef. Only had cash for one. I just handed the cashier an extra 10 and then went back to staring at magazines about how much weight celebrity XXX has gained/lost. He was very appreciative, but I could see how it could be embarrassing. I just did it though, and it went fine.

      • See, I wish I had just done this, but I tend to think too much about things like this until I miss the opportunity. Next time.

    • help. the worst they can say is no.

    • So, the cashier basically agreed to throw food out until the grapes weighed little enough to be covered by benefits?

    • Something similar here – someone was trying to pay for her food that wasn’t covered by WIC (?) with a credit card. The card didn’t work so she was looking through her bag for cash. I quietly asked the cashier how much the person owed and it was around $5 so I paid. The selfish part of this was that I wanted to get through the line, and the judgmental part was that I probably wouldn’t have paid for her if she had been buying pringles.

    • This came at the tail end of a very long transaction so I was trying not to give any indication of being impatient, nosy, or judgmental (eyes on the iPhone) because it’s got to be a difficult position to be in. It seemed that the cashier had a list where he was checking things off, not just that the person had a debit card and went over. Next time I’ll just hand over a $5 and hope for the best.

    • I always offer to help–especially for elders. I only get turned down half the time.

    • I once did this for an elderly man, who was obviously on some type of assistance. In this case, I don’t think he was fully grasping that he’d exceeded his limit. I just went ahead and paid the difference. It felt nice to be able to help someone. I think in these instances, if you have it, and are willing, go ahead and help out. You know where the money is going (as opposed to someone on the street), and for me, as a woman of Christian faith, I like the feeling of truly helping someone in need. It’s always nice to give from the heart 🙂

  • Rant: I don’t have a free moment to myself until next week.
    Rave: I did this to myself, mostly because the people I’m spending time with are only in DC for a limited time and I want to be able to see them and catch up.
    Rave: This weather. I knew there would be people complaining about it, but I will take this over crappy cold weather any day…curly, frizzy hair and all!
    Rant/Rave: Mr. Afghanistan left DC for good yesterday. I am pretty sure this is a dodged bullet for me…but man did I like that one.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: Great night last night at dinner and the lecture. Mr Isaacson was very entertaining even though Tourette’s girl and ADHD boy were directly in front of me and loud.
    Rant: Meetings today have fried my brain and now I have to research boring stuff.
    Rave: Heat and humidity! Good hair days all summer long 🙂

    • My hair looks its best in the humidity, too! Are you a fellow curly gal. Curly solidarity!

      • hooow? mine just turn to frizz.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Yep, I’m a curly gal! But my curls are lazy, so the more humidity the better!
        I have a pal at work who is also from the humidity-fest that is New Orleans and periodically we get together to bitch and moan about how dry it is here and how it messes up our hair & skin. Then summer comes and we rejoice 🙂

    • What was the curly hair care product that someone recommended for rainy/humid days?
      It was a few weeks ago and I think it was an Aveda product. Help!

      • Emmaleigh504

        I don’t know, but I love trying new hair products, I hope someone remembers!

      • Maybe Aveda anti-humectant pomade? And for those of you who like experimenting with hair products, I can recommend condition and sculpt by jane carter solution and Curl Defining Cream by Moroccanoil (pricy but a little bit goes a long way.)

  • Rant: really sleepy today, so much so, I think I may have fallen asleep at my desk.
    Rant: unsure if I fell asleep at my desk and unsure if I snored. That’d be a dead giveaway.
    Rant: the material I’m reading has not gotten any more interesting since my dip into somnolence.
    Rave: going on vacation with my mom and maybe my little sister next Tuesday – Friday. Hopefully I can bring my bicycle for getaways from the getaway.

    • other rave: baby raccoon is looking forward to coming to another PoPville Happy Hour… but when?
      minor rant: baby raccoon has not put on any weight since weird riot at Acre 121. PTSD?

  • Rant: I filed for a rehab permit with DCRA over 2 months ago, and still no permits or comprehensive feedback. They told me 15 days. I do not find their website helpful. The staff is good at helping me understand where I am in the process right now, but I find they have rather poor communication about future process, timeline, or comprehensive requirements. Are there any good comprehensive online forums for DC residents pursuing residential rehab? Would love to read and contribute now that I ‘can’t turn back now’.

    • I feel your pain. I’m currently in the process of trying to get permits for a roof deck, and things are moving at a snail’s pace. and I even hired a permit expediter. The complication is that I live in a historic district, so there are A LOT more hoops to jump through.

  • Rant: Vocal fry of colleague driving me nuts. Sounds like she took 4 quaaludes.
    Rave: Working.

  • Any recomendations for a place to replace iphone5 screen?

    • I went to a shop in Arlington (wigo maybe?) to fix a problem I had with my Galaxy. Priced alright, got it done quickly, and they seemed relatively competent. May be worth giving them a call.

  • Rave: Bike to Work day is on Friday!
    Rant: It’s supposed to pour. Maybe the rain will hold off until Saturday!

  • Hey did everyone see the one day sale for Frontier Airline flights out of Dulles stating in September? Some flights are $15 (this is legit).

  • Rant: Men in DC! I’m a 6’1″ slim black woman and if I say so myself more attractive than most of my other black girl friends. When I go to the clubs by myself I almost never have a problem getting guys attention but if I ever have one of my white girl friends with me that’s ALL THE EVERY LOOK AT. It drives me insane! Come on guys! To make matters even worse I’ve resorted to some online dating just to spread the love around and white guys never respond back to my messages. I’m not even saying never as a joke I mean it’s happened zero times ever. I’ve even tested it on some ugly dudes and still no response. I have a hard time believing racism is dead when I see stuff like this type of racial preference happening all the time. It makes me feel like we’re living in India where they sell whitening cream to move you up the class ladder.

    • You said you’re more attractive than the most of your black girl friends, but are you more attractive than your white girl friends? (maybe some of your white girlfriends are outshining you, race-preferences aside)
      Also, while some people do discriminate, not everyone does – you’ll be better off finding someone who appreciates your beauty (and personality – ahem?) regardless of race.

    • That’s pretty lame, white fellas. But I bet a lot of that is intimidation more than racism (though of course the intimidation is probably a latent strain of racism). Both at your height and race. Are you specifically looking for white guys, or is this just an obnoxious thing you’ve noticed?

      • Hi definitely not only looking for white guys it’s just something I noticed while using the site OK Cupid. I don’t discriminate at all which is why it sucks so much to be completely ignored by another race and then have my girl friends just make it even more frustrating to go out with them and see all the guys heads turn their way when we’re talking.

    • This might be about your height – especially with online dating. I’m a woman and I totally cop to ignoring messages from guys that are shorter than me. Maybe the men you’ve messaged have a similar height preference. If you’re out there getting attention in certain situations then spend more time in those situtations, right? I’m saying this as someone who has had ZERO luck online dating but meets and dates great guys pretty regularly. Good luck out there, it is tough!

      • 25 (white) m DC…..just saying you are really tall, i would never think about dating someone who is 2 inches taller than me, let alone a girl who is the same hight. I dont think it is racist that people arent responding to your messages, i just think some people have preferences when it comes to dating, and i dont think that is discrimination it is just preferences. Or is that racist? And in response to your online dating woes, it goes the same way. I have friends who are not white and complain about white girls never responding to their messages. I am white and they barely respond to my messages. thats online dating, welcome to the club.

    • I’m white, my girlfriend is black and we met on a dating site. We’re not all like that.

    • Sexual preferences are not racism? Are you specifically seeking out white guys or is this just a trend you noticed?

    • I’ve heard enough derogatory talk from black women with regard to white men (often featuring the descriptor “skinny-ass”) that I’m not surprised they’re afraid to approach. I’m friends with a black woman married to a white man, and she talks a LOT about what an exception he is, and she never thought she would find a white man who could “catch her eye and keep her satisfied”. So… maybe don’t blame the white men? For a change?

    • Having a racial preference in dating is not the same as racism. It’s no different than other physical traits that make us all have our preferences about what we find attractive in other people. Most of us have a “type” that we find attractive – be it hair color, height, build, race, etc. The fact that you’re selecting white men over other races on dating sites seems to indicate that your type might be white men, not that you’re racist against black men.

      • Excuse me but never did I once say I only pursued white guys. I will message any guy, but never get a response back from just the white guys which was the point. And nobody on there even knows my height. I guess maybe they can guess from photos but lots of girls wear heels to make themselves feel taller so I don’t know how they can tell the difference. Most guys just look at boobs and ass anyway.

        • thats a rediculous comment….so here is one back…. What do girls look for? $?

          • I don’t look for certain things…but if you don’t have any pictures where you smile then I wonder if you have bad teeth. And if you have pictures where the top of your head is cut off, I wonder if you are thinning or bald. What’s funny is I have been attracted to guys with bad teeth and who are completely bald (either can really be sexy), but if your pictures seem like you’re hiding something then that’s a red flag for me. I’m sharing this because a man-friend of mine was fascinated by these facts while discussing in front of him recently…he had no idea. Oh…and one or two pictures with your friends is cool…but not so many that I don’t know who you are!

    • I wouldn’t chalk it up to racism. I would chalk it up to the numbers. It’s a fact: single hetero women far outnumber single hetero males in the DC region. That is indisputable. Couple that with the fact that online dating itself sucks, plus your height probably doesn’t help your cause, and there you have it. I have PLENTY of mixed race couples friends so I don’t see the racism. I’m in a mixed race relationship as well.

    • my friend is a super cute 6′ tall white girl and she has the same issue. I’d bet its more height than race, but possibly a combination.

      • justinbc

        It’s been a while since I was on OKC, but I believe there’s a way to only selectively show certain info? Maybe try turning off the height data, if that’s the case. Although, still, without knowing the population of guys she’s actually messaging, a 0% return rate is pretty minuscule, especially given that it always seems to be guys doing the proactive messaging and not the women.

      • I think it plays both ways. And it’s probably not to focus solely on one description of a person. I will admit I’m guilty of messaging girls strictly based on height. I’m 6’3″ and sometimes go out of my way to message girls who are 6′ or taller. To this day, I have never heard back from one lol.

      • Yeah, I think it is a combo. While I would be happy to respond to a woman who was taller than me, I would unlikely send the initial message due to past experiences and what I’ve head from female friends and acquaintances about height preferences…

    • I think I saw an article not along ago about how OKCupid had done an analysis, and black women on their site had the lowest percentages of 1) receiving messages from interested parties and 2) getting responses when they sent messages. (I think Asian women had the highest percentages.)
      Will see if I can track down the link.

      • justinbc

        Unless they did a follow-up, I saw a similar article from them at least 2+ years ago which had the same stats you mention. White male to black female was by far the lowest % response rate, so if it makes you feel better you’re not alone?

    • Sista girl, let me first say…that I do take issue with you saying that you’re better looking than your other Black girlfriends. According to whom? Do these same women you claim to look better than agree with you? Do they even know that’s how you describe them? I’m not surprised you are getting attention from men at the club because…you’re alone. Of course you will. Plus you’re tall, which naturally draws attention anyway. Secondly, are you really trying to meet someone at the club? There’s much better dating pools in DC to tap into (unless you’ve tapped those out already). What about an alumni group? Are you Greek? Church? Kickball league? Something. I’m just curious why you are so bothered by your White girlfriends getting more attention than you?

    • Hello, is it me you are looking for?

    • It’s entirely possible that you’re not nearly as good looking as you think you are.

      Someone had to say it

    • Black women get the shit-end of the dating stick, according to OK Cupid’s analytics blog:
      “Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.”

      • Years ago, some white female friends highly recommended Match.com to me. I skimmed through lots of posts by men, and ended up feeling totally disheartened because it seemed like everyone would check boxes about what they were looking for — and many, including the black men — had checked every possible ethnic box except for “black women”. I’m not talking about say, Korean Protestant men looking for Korean Protestant women, but guys who were interested in every possible race, religion, background, etc, except black women. 🙁

  • Rave: Even though my vision is pretty bad, I get still get glasses through Warby Parker. Yay for cheap glasses!
    Rave: Mom’s hip replacement went well and she’s on the way to recovery!
    Rave: Summer in DC. Even though it’s hot and humid I’m excited for all the concerts, events outside etc

  • Rant: just remembered about free yoga on the riverfront tonight, which I really need after a stressful day at work. But since I forgot it was happening tonight, I don’t have a mat or proper clothes and don’t think I’ll have time to go home and get them.

  • Rave: Booked my flight home for a 10 day long vacation with the family.
    Rant: Migraine headaches are the worse!!
    Rant: Muggy weather today.

  • Rant: Drank too much wine last night and feel out of it today
    Rave: Work shouldn’t be too stressful today or the rest of the week
    Rant: Haven’t heard from Coffee Meets Bagel boy since date last week. Need to decide if I want to make the next move or move on
    Rave: My aunt is visiting town this weekend and taking me out to lunch

    • How did the date end? Did he go for a good night kiss or even mention a 2nd date? What i like to do is if the conversation went pretty smooth and didnt get awkward is just ask if they would consider meetings again, maybe this puts them on the spot a little bit but it gives them a chance to “man up” and reject me or if they are open to it consider for a 2nd date. It usually has worked pretty well, one time a girl said i was not religious enough, and that was important so we did not go for a 2nd date. My most recent date, i asked she said she would be open to it, i gave her a good night kiss (which is not common it just kinda happened), and now we are doing a 2nd date. I think just being open and honest at the end of the date is the way to go, waiting for one person to send that text message is a game that i dont like playing

  • Becks

    Rave: Beef and Broccoli turned out delicious! Fast and simple, but I did have to add extra chili peppers to make it spicy.
    Rave: Working from home all week and get to spend time with Lady Carlotta!
    Rant: My neighbor next door is still dumping trash between our houses. I live in a basement and the moldy boxes are blocking what little sunlight I do get.
    Rave: Took advice from Popvillers and watered the ground bee nests. So far so good.

    • glad the beef and bracoli turned out good! post the recipe!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Since you will be home with Lady Carlotta all week, you can take pix & send them in for the Animal Fix! Don’t be a tease!

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