Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user jamiansell

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or rejoice about daily life in DC.

107 Comment

  • RANT: The intersection of Florida Ave / New York Ave has to be one of the worst in this entire town. Why did DDOT change the traffic pattern to force cars traveling on Florida to have to turn right on 1st Street, then turn left on New York Ave, and then turn right back onto Florida Ave? Whoever came up with this traffic pattern deserves the Mules Ass Award (this is superior to the Horse’s Ass Award).

    • claire

      I totally agree – this intersection is the worst! It’s frustrating and dangerous for cars *and* pedestrians! I feel irrationally angry every time I have to drive or walk through it.

    • Agreed. And the traffic bearing left onto New York Avenue always ends up getting backed up at the light, so if you’re in the lane that’s the leftmost of the two lanes for Florida Avenue eastbound, you have to change lanes.

      The redesign of that intersection ought to live in transportation-planning infamy. Such a bad idea.

    • I think the signage is bad. I don’t drive through that intersection regularly, but sometimes. And every single time I am extra alert and thinking, “I know I have to do something unintuitive here, what is it again?” and I can’t find any signage that warns me what lane to be in, etc.

    • So many lights in DC are timed poorly, there’s way too much construction happening during rush hour in the area, whoever’s responsible for DC traffic control and construction road closures should be named and shamed.

    • I just don’t understand the point of that intersection. Why can’t the traffic going on New York Avenue go straight without having to do the whole zig-zag bit.

    • Back in the day, I thought the intersection was stupid but it wasn’t that bad to navigate, you just had to go on the loop. I drive this intersection all of the time now and it is a huge cluster fuck. It was built to ease the pressure on NY but they really screwed it up. Bad design + poorly timed lights + people that don’t know which light to go on + people aren’t in/don’t stay in their lane + bad/inconsiderate drivers = a lot near accidents. Oddly enough, I have yet to see an accident but common sense tells me that they do happen but again, I am surprised it isn’t more common.

  • Rant: Starting to try to get pregnant. I am not a patient person, by nature. I’m very structured, organized, and decisive. The whole process, even though we’re just starting, is putting me outside of my comfort zone in terms of the previously stated personality traits. I have my first OB/GYN appointment in years (my PC did all that stuff for me since moving to DC) and my biggest fear is being told that I need to lose more weight before we can have a shot (even though I’ve lost 70lbs in the last 18 months and work out all the time). I don’t think that will happen, but I don’t want to be the reason for problems. This is our first month actually trying, but my personality isn’t conducive to this – which is ironic since you need them for kids! I have, however, been kicking the coffee (cut down significantly) and taking a vitamin to try to prepare myself.

    Would love to know how other POPers have handled this.

    Rave: My husband, who I know will be such an amazing father and role model, and us being in a place financially where we are ready to do this.

    Rave: Long weekend coming up. With no plans. How amazing are those?

    • ah

      Suggestion: Relax.

      Rant about the possibility of getting fertility evaluations iin a year if you haven’t gotten pregnant yet

      • I’m over 30…it’s 6 months now. I am not a relaxed person. It’s not in my nature (I know, it sounds horrible, but it’s just how I am and I’ve turned out OK!:) ) – even when I go get a massage, I spend the time thinking about everything else I could be doing with that hour. I know I should relax. I’m just so good at not being relaxed!

      • I don’t think 6 mos. is a very long time. Also, 30 is not old in fertility speak. If you were over 35 things might be more stressful but you are years away from that. I like the relax advice. I realize this is an issue for you but really, try to enjoy and recognize the beauty of the whole thing.

    • I’d tell you not to worry, but I know that’s futile. Worrying is part of motherhood. Also, this is good training for having a kid. Plans get broken, so start training yourself to go with the flow!

    • Trying for almost 3 years now. The only things that keep me sane is trying to focus on a) anything but the stress of it all and b) enjoying all of the things that would be hard to do once I do have a family.

      • For you, I have this story. My wife and I tried for 3 years (or we were really just open to it for 3 years utilizing no counter-measures). We had kind of just forgotten about things when all of a sudden she gets pregnant (during a trip to the Caribbean no less). When we decided to try for # 2 she literally got pregnant on the first attempt. You can just never tell with these things.

      • Two stories for you.
        A) A family in our church tried to get pregnant for literally a decade with no luck (including help from various medical procedures). They decide to move forward with adopting twin newborn girls. One month later, the mother is pregnant with a boy. Now they really have their hands full!
        B) Another family in our church tried to conceive for probably 5 years and she found out she was pregnant literally the day before her appointment to receive IVF.

        • And that’s how my roommate has an adopted sister of almost the same age. Her parents got pregnant with her when they finally gave up and adopted a girl.

        • I was an oops baby after my parents adopted my two brothers. So apparently that’s the secret for those having difficulty!

    • I hear you. I’m now in the patience-fraying 2-week window of waiting…. and this is the first time we’ve been able to try after two consecutive miscarriages last spring (one at 10 weeks, one at 5 – the second just felt like nature toying with us for many reasons).

      So I absolutely hear you on the patience issue. If you’re looking for a little bit of control, have you tried tracking your cycles with basal body temping and/or ovulation predictor kits? It takes a few months to get a sense for the pattern, but that doesn’t stop you from trying in the meantime! And if you are successful before you nail down the pattern, all the better!

      • I started tracking my overall cycles a couple of months ago (thanks, smartphones!) and have been off b/c for a year now (other methods used). If it doesn’t work this month, I’ll start BBTing on day 1. I did buy a couple OPKs (which are covered by Flex Spending in case you need to know, Amazon has the best prices) just to see if an LH surge.

        I don’t want to become a mechanical couple. I know, I know – sex for enjoyment half the month, for necessity the other half. But still. I guess that is also practice for when you have kids! “Just get it over with”! 🙂

        Good luck on your two week wait!

        • Sounds like you’re set, then. And yes – amazon does have the best prices on both OPKs & the pregnancy tests. Good tip on the flex spending, though we’re spending more than enough on IUIs to blow through that. Thanks for the good luck wishes – same to you!

        • Try the fertility monitor. Much more expensive then the OPK test strips but probably more accurate. I feel your frustration though. We tried for over a year but we are old(er). If nothing happens in 6 months, be sure to have your husband tested. I think half of infertility is from the male side of things. The worst advice I got from folks, over and over…just relax, don’t think about it. When you are trying (and failing) its ALL you can think about! Anyhow, I am pregnant now on my first IVF try. Good luck to you!

          • Congrats!
            We are going to give it 6 months, but my husband has very good health care right now (we aren’t on the same plan) that expires in December so he said he would be fine going to get checked out while it’s 100% covered (even though it’s before 6 months). I definitely think both parents should get checked out. I’m not worried, as we do have time (I’m over 30, but still a little ways away from 35).

            I know the monitors are a bit more reliable, but I thought I’d try these before I made the investment. These were paid back by FSA which was nice – so are pregnancy tests in case anyone wants to know!

        • A little more “off the wall” suggestion perhaps, but to help avoid the “mechanical sex” you mentioned fearing, maybe explore some well-written erotica. Well-written is key. Try “Slow Hand” by Michele Slung, or the classic “Delta of Venus” by Anais Nin. Kinda like rolling out the red carpet for those little swimmers.

    • Be sure that you mention to your OB that you’ve recently lost weight and are exercising. If the first thing they tell you is to lose weight and they do it in a disrespectful way, find a new OB. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and kindness, especially when dealing with your weight, which can be a painful topic.

      Knowing your personality is important, but are there ways you can find to reduce stress/relax that work for you? If massages don’t help would yoga, different exercise, acupuncture or something else help you find some peace about this journey?

      Good luck!

      • yes, this on my forms to bring with me. I’ve never had a doc say anything nasty about my weight like that, so this is a trial run since I don’t have an OB. My PCP is awesome about anything weight related.

    • Our world is a funny place. Using the phrase “trying to get pregnant” in mixed company, like an office setting, is pretty commonplace. However if I started talking to my coworkers about how I was “having sex all the time”, I’d probably get a visit from HR.

    • Long weekend with no plans, great husband, and trying to get pregnant — gee, I wonder what you’ll be doing this weekend?

    • I hear you, I’m the same way. Currently waiting for my AF to start (should be any day now) to begin my first clomid cycle. I’m hoping everything works the first time around so I can switch to worrying about being pregnant and then being a parent instead of getting pregnant which sucks when it seems like everyone around you is pregnant or already have kids.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: Fire drill at work gave me an extra break this morning.

    Rant: Not an actual fire, so I don’t get to go home early (yes, terrible thought, I know).

  • Rant: My coworkers and I have to pack up our entire print library collection this week.

    Rave: Moving to a new office next week.

  • Does anyone know any queer-friendly places to watch the football this fall?

  • Rant: My roommate. She’s very odd and I have no desire to live with her anymore.

  • Can we talk about the cutie in the picture….

    Thankfully my family has already left NOLA. This storm doesn’t appear as bad as Katrina but still – like the old commercials said “don’t mess with mother nature”

    • Emmaleigh504

      I guess I should call my parents. Since it’s only supposed to be a Cat 1 and their house in NOLA doesn’t flood (touch wood) I doubt they are leaving.

      • msmaryedith

        Haha, called my dad. He acted like I was nuts to ask if they were leaving. He didn’t sound the least bit concerned about this one.

  • Rant: My friend has major anxiety issues. I feel like any little thing could set them off, and then they completely shut down and refuse to talk to anyone for weeks and get paranoid. I know my friend needs help but I can’t force them to get it, they have to come to that decision on their own. It’s just really tough seeing them go through this and refusing to talk to anyone about it.
    Rave: My other friends that have helped me get through the breakdown of my relationship with the unstable one.

  • RANT: The Categories on POP don’t work. U click on a category and you get “Sorry, no posts matched your criteria.”

    • Prince Of Petworth

      Sorry about that – we are very close to fixing this problem (and the neighborhood links too.) can you tell me or email me which category you clicked on that didn’t work?

      • talula

        PoP – I can tell you that I tried clicking a “Friday Question of the Day” category tab to try and find the one were people listed their favorite weekend getaways, but instead of listing all past QOTD posts, it bought me to one QOTD post from 2007 or something. Eventually found it just by clicking through the back pages of the blog. (BTW, there were some great recommendations in that thread – thanks PoPville!)

  • Rant: The powers that be at work turned off Dog Shaming on the internet, have to go home to get my funny dog fix

    RAVE:Thank you POP for this site, my only guilty pleasre let at work.

  • Rant: My boss desperately needs to go to sexual harassment prevention training. He’s a leering, revolting little man who is constantly saying offensive things to the female employees. It’s exhausting calling him out on the BS and unfortunately the company is so small there’s no system in place to file complaints with the non-existant HR department. It would help too if some of my colleagues would also speak up when he acts out.

    • People get away with a lot.

      I once complained at my job, and was told by a 3-star general, “that’s just the way it is. Plenty of people would be happy to have your job”. It wasn’t sexual harrassment, though it’s bordered on that with how they chat around here, but the overall disrespect for women as colleagues. That’s just the way it is? Really?

      • Exactly jindc! I’ve told him he can’t say things like that, that it’s harassment and that it will get him sued. His response is always “this is just on good fun” or something along the lines of “stop being a prude”.

        It’s not fun to have him comment on my breast size, tell the executive assistant she dresses too conservatively and should “let her inner sex kitten out” or any to listen to stories about his sexual prowess at meetings.

        • talula

          Ugh that comment about the “inner sex kitten” makes my skin crawl and completely inappropriate. Does you boss have a bigger boss, or is anyone else with more seniority that you and other employees can approach regarding his behavior?

        • Wow, your boss sounds like he fell asleep sometime in the 1980s (or maybe even earlier?) and just now woke up. Sheesh!

          Has he been working at this same small company for his whole career? It’s hard to see how he could honestly think that his comments are acceptable. They’re not even borderline inappropriate; they are definitively over the line.

        • you need to start documenting these things word for word. now.

    • I agree with what anon said above. Document everything in writing; this guy can’t be allowed to get away with this. Can you file a complaint with the EEOC?

      • I documented everything including what I viewed as double standards (i.e. a single mom had to leave to pick up her kid from day care and my supervisor asked her what her family care plan was in case she couldn’t get there in time, but he never asked men who left early to do the same anything) and I still got the “this is how it is” response. I’ve been looking for a new job ever since.
        I also regularly get asked when I’m going to get pregnant now that my husband is home from Afghanistan. Which is completely illegal for them to ask.

      • I’ve looked into the EEOC filings: my concern is that since DC is an at-will jurisdiction, it would be very easy for him to fore me and provide some other reason for doing so. Of course the timing would seem suspicious to anyone with half a brain, but the burden then shifts heavily to me to prove harassment.

        I am fairly certain that one of my colleagues would be supportive, but the idea of being unemployed (after just purchasing a home) is enough to give me pause. For now I am documenting his actions and applying to every open position in my sector! It will be easier to file if I know there’s a new position on the horizon.

    • At my last job, which was a very “Christiian” organization, it was the men in Accounting. I would go up there for whatever reason and one guy would try to start conversations about his sex life with his wife, and ask me about my relationship, when do I want to get pregnant, etc. I didn’t really do anything about it but thankfully he was fired soon after.

      I reported the other guy to my boss because one day while I was standing at the copier he came up behind me and tried to tickle me. He may have had no bad intentions but it made me super uncomfortable.

  • Rant: Colleague who takes work out of my portfolio without telling me and then later complains about having too much work to do. We’ve had numerous conversations about this, discussed porfolio realignments with our supervisor and been assured it won’t happen again. Just left another meeting and it happened again. Sigh. I need a new job.

  • Revel: Sun coming out
    Rant: still humid, nasty. when will we have fresh breezes?
    Revel: school begins
    Rant: which means no break ins or fights during the day. I love some of neighbors and have so for 7 years now, but I wish the sleazier more ghetto ones would just move to capital Heights, or Mars. Whatever is faster–moving truck, uhaul, ambulance, paddy wagon or hearse.
    Revel: Barack Obama, looking meaner and not so wonkish
    Rant: Vincent Gray, looking older and more ineffectual

  • Rave: Marijuana

    Rant: Fall is coming nothing to be negative about…..

  • Rant: I cam home last night to an unlocked front door and stuff out of place (a blanket on the chair that had been left on the couch, doors open that I always close, suff from the kitchen on the dining table, etc) an thought my house was broken into. Get my neighbors and do a sweep of the house – notice that the bed is made, towels folded, shower curtain closed. AFter my initial shock, I realie the house cleaners have been there. When I email to ask about it, they assure me that they had not been there and I must be mistaken because my “key is right there in the office with cameras and alarms.” Then they sent a follow up saing they’d checked wit their team and nobody hd been there and repeated that they had my key all day.

    Well, my dog walker saw the team there . I was upset yesterday at having come home to things out of place and thinking my house had been broken into, but I would have gotten over it. The repeated denials really piss me ff. It would not have been a big deal had they had admitted the mistake and apologized. But repeatedly asserting that my keys have been safely under lock and key all day leaves me wth no idea if they are mistaken/lying about the key being safely in the office or if the team has made a copy of my key. Either way, there is something fishy about their key handling. Luckily, I was able to change my lock aready

    Ah, first world problems.

    • Maybe it was just a super tidy burglar.

      Haha seriously though, you need a new cleaning service.

    • change your lock AND change your cleaning company.

    • I am changing the company. And I did email my dogwalker asking if he’d seen the crew or if maybe I got robbed by a crew of bandits with OCD that just come in to clean and not steal anything. His answer was no, it wasn’t a meth head, the cleaning folks were ther when he was. At least my dog walker has a good sense of humor 🙂 I guess that’s a rave.

  • Rant: My unit is understaffed; we were going to interview for someone new to come on board this spring, but then we got hit with a hiring freeze.

    Rant: I learned today that the hiring freeze is supposed to continue until 2015.

  • Rant: I live in Col Hts and work in SE DC. My BF lives in Forest Glen, MD and works in Columbia. We are having quite a hard time finding a place to live for both of us, since I don’t have a car and rely on metro (green line)

    Rave: I got a random burst of motivation yesterday, and am determined to go to the gym every day and study for the GREs.

    • Where in SE do you work?

    • What exactly is the difficulty? Sounds like anywhere on the northern portion of the green line or the eastern portion of the red line would be a potential location.

      • Thanks! That is where we are looking 🙂 Now just trying to find something safe, close to the metro (-10 min) and cheap! I don’t know anyone who lives in those areas; any suggestions on what to look for/avoid?

    • claire

      Petworth? Takoma? Mt. Rainier?

      • I don’t know much about Takoma; I have heard that there are 2 parts, one is “safe” and the other not so much. Any insights? Mt. Ranier sounds lovely, I will add it to the list. I hadn’t considered anything not right on the metro, but I can bus it to the green line easily enough.

        • claire

          Well, for one, there’s “Takoma” (DC side) and “Takoma Park” (MD side). I’m not sure as to the exact boundaries of the neighborhoods, but I’ve spent some time in the more centrals parts (i.e. near the metro, by the Takoma Park Silver Spring Co-op, Mark’s Kitchen, etc, think these might technically be on the MD side), and there’s a lot of great stuff and a really good feel to the neighborhood. People call out Takoma Park as being a bit of a hippy haven actually (aging hippies). I imagine as you get a bit further out, some parts are a bit sketchy – towards Langley Park, for instance, there is definitely a bit more crime (but lots of great cheap international food and my favorite grocery store (H&A) and banh mi shop (Ba Le)). I think you can get a pretty good feel by traipsing up there one weekend day and walking around a bit.

          As for Mt. Rainier, haven’t spent any time there myself, but have driven through before and read about the neighborhood, and it always looks and sounds like a really great place to be – almost a small town ish vibe to it. If I had to be further out (such as your situation with your boyfriend’s job in Columbia, ouch), it’s one of the places I’d consider!

  • Rant: My co-worker is listening to classic rock on Pandora and singing along and snapping her fingers. ANNOYING.

    • At least your co-worker doesn’t yell down the hallway, talk in crazy tones, laugh loud as hell and stomp her feet and snap when she is talking. Did I mention, this happens everyday and it is loud enough I can hear it in my office with the door closed?

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