Reader Request: What’s The Worst Take Out Pizza You’ve Ever Had

Not my usual poll question but a reader has a bet on it so I must oblige:

“I have a friend who insists to me that there is no such thing as bad pizza. Needless to say, I disagree, and have had more than a few undercooked slices of tasteless pizza with way too much cheese and no flavor to speak of in my time. However, she is adamant that no matter how bad I would think the pizza was, she would still like it.

I don’t believe her, and to prove my point I bet her that I could find her some truly revolting pizza to try. The problem is that–having done my best to avoid eating bad pizza–I don’t actually know where to find the genuinely terrible stuff in the area. I’m sure if I went to every Plexiglass carryout in town I’d find a couple good specimens, but that’s an awfully tall order for one person.”

So what’s the worst pizza you’ve ever had in town?

41 Comment

  • I am a big fan of jumbo slice for something cheap and filling. I usually go to one in particular but one night I was out with the boyfriend near Tobac (I’m not sure how its spelled exactly) on U street where we spotted a Jumbo slice. We ordered a whole pizza to go so we could be disgustingly fat and gross and eat the entire thing for dinner. When the guy brought it up to the counter to ring us up, I lifted the lid to look at the pizza and get a smell only to be horrified and disgusted! The pizza was soggy and wet looking. It almost looked like the guy had spent all day spitting on it and it had gotten so wet the pizza couldn’t absorb anymore moisture. The cheese looked revolting as well. I just told the guy we would not be buying the pizza because it looked terrible and walked out. I never expected gourmet or anything close from a jumbo slice, but swamp pizza was not my goal either. Perhaps you could try there for starts. Then at least the pizza was cheap if she likes it and you still lose. 🙂

  • The place on Calvert St in Woodley Park is terrible. It was called Joe’s Pizza, now it is House of Philly, I think. The place has to be a front for something (drugs? bookie?), as there pizza is just awful, and they always seem so irritated/put out when customers enter the store.

  • The worst I ever had was one of those jumbo slice places, I forget which one, but it was about 2002. I ordered the super oversized pizza to be delivered to my house. an hour later, no pizza. I call the guy back and ask him where the pizza is and he said it was delivered. It was not delivered! He hung up on me. I called him back and demanded to know where my pizza was and he said he’d call me back when he talked to the driver. 15 minutes later I call him back and he said that the driver sold it to me on the sidewalk. I was like, wtf? The guy put the driver on the phone and he repeated that story, that he sold it to me on the sidewalk. That I paid him money on the street for the pizza. I got in an argument about that ridiculous story and told them to go screw.

    I went outside and saw that there were some drug dealers down on the corner. They didn’t have a pizza box around them, but I believe that the guy just went up to them, sold them the pizza and left. They were nowhere near my house and you know, I had pizza coming, I was looking around for the guy, he never attempted to come up to my door.

    I never, ever, bought a jumbo slice again and neither should you.

  • that’s worst pizza company, not worst-tasting pizza.

    When I was in college I decided to never eat chain pizza again, so I’ve avoided most bad pizza, but whenever I’m at a friends’ house and they have Manny and olga’s pizza I get violently ill even though no one else does. After three times, I said “never again.”

  • One of the worst hangovers I’ve every had was after deciding that it would be a 2 slice night at one of the Jumbo Slices a few years ago.

  • If you have ever been to Foggy Bottom … Pizza Italia at the corner of 19 and F in the World Bank Building is definitely, hands-down the worst pizza in the District.

  • When radius under cooks their pies, then I think it’s the worst in the area. But, the pizza hut Mia is the cheapest piece-o-crap for $5.

  • But, when radius makes it good, then I tell everyone it’s the best ever!

  • Pizza Ebola is the worst… I guess it’s actually called Pizza Boli’s. Doesn’t matter which branch, they are all the worst.

  • I agree with Tim, House of Philly is the worst pizza I’ve ever had.

  • They’re all terrible. Please stop poisoning me. Thank you.

    xxx ooo

    Your Arteries

  • Manny and Olga’s. I was drunk and still found it disgusting and threw it out. It was so not what our hangovers needed the next day…

  • Manny and Olga’s — bad service, bad pizza.

  • Pizza Boli’s on 8th…I just had cheese and it was like cardboard, and my cousin had some kind of BBQ chicken or Santa Fe chicken pizza and he said it was the most disgusting thing he’s ever had, and as he’s a frat boy, coming from him, that means a lot.

  • Thankfully we’re blessed with a lot of great pizza places in our hoods. Radius, Red Rock, Moroni & Bros, 2 Amy’s, more to come I’m sure.

    Who needs the rest?

  • Anyone who mentions Manny & Olga’s in the comments here is clearly getting worst and best confused.

    Anyway, the top two culprits of horrible pizza in the area are Pizza Hut (WORST) and some place in Brookland that delivers to Petworth, where even a cheese pizza has this bizarre cheeseburger/enchilada taste to it. I want to say that place is called Besta Pizza, but I could be wrong. I’ve tried to erase it from my memory.

  • Agreed on the horrific Jumbo Slice places. I will also give special dishonorable mention to most overpriced / overrated, Coppi’s. Heard a lot of hype, and just flat out mediocre at best.

  • any of the ones that call themselves any variation of “jumbo slice” or “big slice” etc
    BARF. i’d rather eat the paper plate they come on…. off the street…

  • I’ll cast another vote for the Jumbo Slice next to Tabaq’s on U st. Its badness is not nearly redeemed by the techno dance party vibe of the store.

  • Radius is god aweful all the time. Pete’s is probably some of the best around. Luigi’s downtown ain’t bad either.

  • Radius — worst I’ve ever had, anywhere.

  • Giant slice has to be excluded…thats not pizza. Manny and Olga’s hands down. That place is fucking awful.

  • Manny and Olga’s. Sh*t on cardboard.

  • Ditto what Syd said.

    There’s a place downtown – Pizza Pino – that’s pretty bad too.

  • yes, radius is the correct answer. worst pizza ever. like no good flavor, pure shit…

    and i’m gonna stand up for pizza bolis, while its not the best ever its pretty good for a basic pizza

  • Living in North Country there aren’t that many places that deliver to us. I actually like the Pizza Bolis in Silver Spring. Pretty good for what it is.

  • Manny and Olgas pizza–bad. Manny and Olgas calzone– good!

  • Pizza Movers. disgusting.

  • I like the people who prefer dominos to radius. at least we understand where their palate is.

  • manny and olgas
    awful awful

    –> any ledo’s fans?

  • Jumbo Slice on U St gets my vote for neighborhood worst. As for the chains, I’m surprised no one mentioned Papa John’s. They use ketchup for sauce.

  • Moroni & Bros delivered me the worst pizza I’ve ever had, speciallly for the price they charged me. I’ve heard very good things about them so maybe it was a bad day for them.
    I ordered a pizza for delivery a while back which took almost one hour to get to my house. When I got it, the pizza was cold, burnt (I like a little bit of burning here and there, but that day half the crust was black), and it was rubbery.

    That was the only time I’ve tried Moroni’s and I guess I’ll give them another chance… but after that experience its not like I’m in a hurry.

  • Another vote here for Boli’s. tasteless pile of old cheese. of course, those jumbo slice places always frighten me too much; so they could be worse.

    oh, and drewlove, when i want some fast, american-style takeout pizza, i love papa johns. hot, garlicky, reasonable approximation of pizza crust and sauce. mmmmmm.

  • Fact:
    There is no good pizza in DC
    If you want good pizza, go to NYC. No debate.

  • The above post should read…

    There is no good pizza in DC
    If you want good pizza, go to NYC. No debate.

  • The above posters should try Vace’s Italian Deli for slice or whole pizza. Located across from the Uptown theater it is a DC institution that has been around forever and has AMAZING pizza.

  • I second E, Moroni & Bros is horrible. Their not a chain, don’t have the big slice niche, so don’t have any excuse to be that bad.

    Vace knows Pizza!

  • Prior to my life as a zombified cubicle jockey I led the fast-paced jet set life of a pizza boy. That being said, I have tasted some god-awful excuses for pizza in my time. Some were the shock-n-awe risk taking variety and some were overpriced under performing versions. However, the worst pizza I have ever tasted by far are the Pizza Hut ‘pizza mia’ abominations. On the night in question I was drinking and watching sports (two of my favorite activities) and I still could not stomach the near inedible tripe that was passed off as a genetically deformed cousin of my beloved pizza-pie. At $5 a pop it all goes back to my father’s old adage “Buy Cheap, Get Cheap.” Do yourself a favor: Pony up the $ for a cooking stone, wheat flour, fresh maters/basil/garlic, and some authentic mozzarella di bufala. It will change your life… for more info check out one of my favorite corners of the Intrawebs.

  • Radius is way overrated. Pizza movers is better than I expected for the money. Nothing compares to the higher quality fresh ingredients you can get on the west coast.

    My most disappointing take out? 2 Amy’s. I ate it anyway, though.

  • Three words: Manny and Olga’s. Nasty stuff that brings me back to Thurston.

  • Colonel K, you give New Yorkers a bad name. If you like it so much there, go back and stay.

    Pizza Movers=worst in DC

    But that’s only because Little Caesar’s isn’t in the area. ::shudder::

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