Missed Connection/Cicada Countdown Mashup

“Dear PoPville,

This 17-year old Massospora fungus-free male is patiently waiting for my one true love to land back in my life. Can you hear my sweet song?

Our first meeting was brief, but I have been waiting my entire life to meet someone like you. In July, I was relaxing in a Cedar in Lincoln Park, thinking about the animated friends I’d made over the past six weeks. You dropped in and made a silly comment about all the four-legged animals running around free. As we both laughed, our red eyes connected, and I could tell this was a love years in the making.

I asked if your family was from the area, and you said your grandparents met in the same park in the nineteen hundred and eighties! You said you’d love to chat more but were late to see a singer/songwriter down the street, and flew off before I knew it.

I spent a week in that same Cedar hoping you’d return, but I finally realized a female as smart as you would never want to be in such a prickly home. So, I clumsily flew to an Oak several trees over and have been picking out the right spot for us since that day. Fresh wood floors, lots of shade, and hardly any mites. Hoping that you’ll be able to find me in my new location, I have been singing my song for you 20 hours a day for the past 3 weeks.

I know this is forward, but I could see you being the mother of my 500 children. You may think I’m naïve because I’ve spent most of my life underground, but I’ve used that time dreaming of exactly who I’d love to meet once I emerged from the dirt. But please hurry, as I worry that my days are limited. Please don’t let me die a virgin.”