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Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

by Prince Of Petworth May 31, 2017 at 9:15 am 102 Comments


Photo by PoPville flickr user kristenstake

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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  • NH Ave Hiker

    Big Rant: Trump poised to pull out of the climate deal. What a huge national embarrassment…when 195 countries signed the deal, that might be an indication that the U.S. would be in the wrong here. I’m so tired of people driven by such greed that they don’t care about the future or how this could affect anyone else.

    • LedroitTigah

      This has put me in such a foul mood this morning. He’s such an unrepentant assh*le. And he tweeted that he would, “announce his decision this week”. Ugh, this isn’t a f*cking reality tv show you piece of garbage.

  • local_mountie

    Rant: Is it just me or are the mosquitoes already fierce this year? I’ve been bitten to pieces and it’s not even June!
    BIG Rave: A big billboard went up on Rhode Island Ave over the weekend confirming months of scuttlebutt–we are getting a Pizza Paradiso in Hyattsville! It’s going in at 4800 Rhode Island Ave and will be sharing a space with ArtNow. It’s supposed to be opening in the next four months and reliable sources say a meadery and a distillery are also coming to that strip between Brentwood and the main shopping district in Hyattsville. I can’t wait!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: spilled coffee all over myself on the way to work. luckily I was just at the bus stop so I could go back and change.
    Rant: been feeling nauseous since last night and everyone had on perfume today on my commute. bleck
    Rave: wasn’t late to work

    • Emmaleigh504

      Bonus rant: I have to conduct 2 job interviews today. I hate job interviews no matter what side of the desk I’m on. They are draining.
      Rave: Probably won’t have a heart attack in the middle of the interview like my friend did.

      • M

        WHAT?! I need more details on the friend incident.

        • Emmaleigh504

          My friend started feeling bad, like way bad while sitting in on a interview. She managed to stay until the end, but went back to her office and googled heart attacks in women b/c she remembered the symptoms were different than in men. She had the symptoms, and a coworker made her go to the hospital. She was having a heart attack.
          .
          I’m not sure why she thought it was a heart attack to begin with. But it’s a good thing she did!

  • anon

    Question: we need someone to put up a temporary wall w/door in our rowhome basement. We had someone lined up but they flaked, and need it done in the 7-14 days. Any reliable recommendations?

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: My parents will be here on Friday!
    Rave: I was able to confirm that my great-great-grandfather was killed in a shootout.
    Rant: Haven’t found anything to confirm the family story that his shooter was the brother or husband of a woman he seduced.

    • FridayGirl

      Re your last rant/rave: that sounds like an IDGI-level story!

  • AMDCer

    Forgotten Rave from the weekend: I had a great conversation with an Uber driver over the weekend. He moved here three years ago from Ethiopia speaking no English. He has almost finished two years of community college and plans to transfer to UMD to complete his degree in electrical engineering. He said at home he would have just had a random job, but America is allowing him to pursue his dreams and a better future. He plans to eventually move back to Ethiopia to help his family and country, but said he loves America for the opportunity it affords people. It was so heartening to hear someone so positive about America and who is benefiting from the values that seem to be getting trampled on lately. It was a great reminder to me – on Memorial Day, no less – of what truly makes this country great.

    • LittleBluePenguin

      That’s a really nice rave!

    • James

      Wow! Thank you for sharing.

      • AMDCer

        A fun tidbit from that conversation – he said he could never understand when people here told him they were going on a hike “for fun.” He said at home he used to have to walk about 6.5 miles to and from school each way every day, so he didn’t understand why people would drive somewhere to go walking! : )

  • Hill Denizen

    Rant: Getting to the point of complete burnout at work. Have started to seriously apply for other jobs, but realistically wouldn’t even have the time to go on a single interview until August.

  • bizzinger

    Rave: Unexpected chance to steer an opportunity to a former co-worker, and an excellent dinner at 801 last night. Some of the best food I’ve had in DC in a while.
    Rant: Politics, and the looming sticky summer weather.

  • SinSA

    Rant: Counters still not okay.
    Rant: The worker they sent back told me that he wasn’t going to fix the wall damage/just to buy backsplash to cover the gaps because the walls aren’t straight.
    Rave: Owner called me after that and told me that he’d send someone out with the supplies to fix the wall damage today, as well as install back splash that matches my counter tops, no charge, not to worry, everything would be okay.
    Rant: My OA at work apparently doesn’t support my partner’s idea of fighting for me to get a title change. Also, she’s missing her compassion chip. Despite the fact that I have been there for her countless times when she’s been actually sobbing and shaking at her desk about work situations, or when she’s called me on weekends or at night due to stressful/upsetting work situations, when I told her I was not in a good space to have a conversation about work stuff because of my renovation issues, she kept pushing. I started to become very slightly emotional and turned to leave and she raised her voice and said that I was making her very uncomfortable, then sent me an email that said maybe if I calm down later, we can talk about it. Here’s what we can talk about: the virtual slap in the face she gave me, and the fact that once the literal and metaphorical dust clears from my renovation project, I’ll start looking for a position in which I really can grow in my career since she’s not willing to support it at all. The only reason I’ve stayed here is because of my loyalty to her. That’s done.
    Rave: My live music event is this Friday at New District Brewery! If anyone feels like coming out to Arlington to listen to a jazz guitarist (no cover, delicious beer, and there’ll be a fish fry going on – also kid friendly) from 6-9, that would be great.

    • eggs

      Honest question – do you like New District’s beer? I haven’t heard anything good about it, and the few times I’ve tried it, it’s been questionable at best. It’s been a while since I’ve been there, though.

      • SinSA

        It is getting better. There are 2 that I like, but not the rest. (although they don’t tend to have a lot of the type of beer that I like, either) I mostly support them because they are local, and they are just down the street from my house. They’re improving from their beginnings, though.

        • eggs

          They’re so close to where I live too, so I *want* to like them, but I went multiple times last year and just never could finish a beer. So many had really off flavors and were super thin. I feel like I should give them another shot this summer sometime. I do wish the owners/brewers would publicly respond to the negative reviews on Yelp/Untappd/etc, I met one earlier this year and he mentioned not getting good reviews due to “not having enough IPAs on tap” so it seems like they’re either not paying attention to criticism or ignoring it. I’ll pay attention to who’s playing the Friday music series and may come by sometime for it!

          • Anon Spock

            I’m all for give the people what they want, but every bar has tons of ipas. As long as they’re advertising the selection, that shouldn’t be a bad mark against them.

  • hiphopanonymous

    Rave/Rant: “Covfefe”. Hilarious, but what an idiot. You are the leader of the free world – the least you can do is spell check your Tweets (not that you should even be Tweeting).
    Rave: Found out yesterday that we are getting my husband’s grandparents kitchen table! Made of cherry, has two leaves, can seat anywhere from 2 to 12. The only thing is that we have to haul it home from Indiana.
    Rave: Former coworker gave me a bunch of clothes yesterday – all brand new, name brands – that she was getting rid of. And they all fit! Now I have a dress for the rehearsal dinner on Friday!
    Rant: My mom makes me feel guilty for spending money on things she doesn’t approve of (aka our weekend at Assateague). I’m an adult, mother! What she also doesn’t realize is that our upcoming “vacation” is not really a vacation at all. It is a nine day trek across the Midwest to see family. Nothing much is relaxing about that!
    Question: Wearing a bright turquoise bridesmaid dress this weekend with open-toed shoes: what color pedicure should I get??

    • Emmaleigh504

      I think a pale pink would go nicely with turquoise. What color are the shoes?

      • hiphopanonymous

        Haha, good call. Just learned that our ‘color palette’ is ‘rose gold’.

    • dcd

      It depends what color blazers and khakis the groomsmen are wearing.

      • artemis

        Hahaha. Well played, dcd. Poor Jim.

    • dcgator

      Question: I’m going to Chincoteague in about a month—do you have any tips?

      • Patrick Division

        Bring lots of mosquito repellent.

    • dcd

      “My mom makes me feel guilty for spending money on things she doesn’t approve”
      .
      Just saw this – I get this a little from my parents regarding anything ski-related, especially the trip we take over the Christmas holidays. It’s not something they do, or understand, but it has become a very important family tradition for us. And, like you, 5 days with them, in our house or theirs, isn’t really the relaxing vacation I wish it was. To be fair, it does impact them from a schedule perspective, because it really drives our holiday schedule. But, when I offered to maneuver the schedule so we would go to them over the Christmas break for a few days, I got, “no, no, that’s so much travel, we’ll just come down to see you the week before.” It’s tough to win with parents sometimes.

      • eggs

        Right, our families do this too. No, we aren’t going to spend every single vacation day we get visiting you, because we’re our own family too and need to spend our own time together.

    • eggs

      What other colors are the wedding, and what color are the shoes? I wore a similar colored bridesmaid dress a couple months back and did raspberry nails and it was great!

  • rfff924

    Rave: Started running again. Can manage a little bit over 2 miles nonstop and could likely do 3 if it wasn’t for the time crunch.
    Rant: Nursing plus working out means I negate everything by eating a ton. So damn hungry.
    Rave and question: Planning a first father’s day for Mr. F. Would love to do an excursion of sorts, just the 3 of us. I was thinking maybe the beach but is that insane for a Sunday in June? And I don’t even know the closest beach? The ocean is still a novelty for him because he’s from the midwest. But I’m open to other ideas that involve less logistics with an (almost) 6 month old.

    • MichelleinMD20721

      Father’s Day: I think I would hit one of the restaurants overlooking Chesapeake Bay. If you wanted to stay overnight, I’d look in Kent Island, St. Michaels, or Chestertown.

    • hiphopanonymous

      It’s a bit of a drive but Assateague is always lovely!

    • ke

      A daytrip to the ocean might be too much driving. Hanging out on the Chesapeake is a good idea. You could walk around Annapolis and the Naval Academy and take one of the harbor cruises if you want to work in something nautical. If you plan to do a nicer brunch/lunch there, I would recommend making a reservation because it can get crowded on the weekends.

      • DCbyDay

        Annapolis/Kent Island are great and not too far! For a nice brunch in Annapolis on the water try the Severn Inn… it’s not downtown but is right on the water. The best brunch downtown Annapolis is Iron Rooster but I don’t think they take reservations and they’re not on the water. You could take a sail on the Woodwind or just walk around the Naval Academy or downtown and explore lots of little shops!

    • artemis

      Re: the endless hunger. It subsided for me around the 9-10 month mark. I think as the little ones tend to start eating more solids and nursing less around the clock.

      Can you frame it differently than eating means you are negating working out? For me, working out helps me sleep and deals with my anxiety. Even if I never see any physical difference in my body, those two things alone are worth it, making me a saner, more patient parent and partner.

      And St. Michaels is lovely.

      • rfff924

        yup, all good points. Working out is great stress relief and the major reason why I do it. I’m actually happy I’m starting to be able to run again for longer distances, bodies are resilient! I don’t think we’ll make it to the 9-10 month mark with nursing. My low supply is not improved no matter what I do (urg. frustrating. just have had to come to terms with it). Baby is super duper hungry so we’ve been doing 50/50 formula and breastmilk. I think at 6 months I’m going to start slowly weaning from the pump and see what happens. Would love to be able to nurse him a couple times a day.

        • mtpresident

          Ugh, I’m sorry to hear about the feeding struggles. But I think you’ll be able to continue to nurse a couple of times a day, even with weaning from the pump. At worst, you might need to supplement on top of nursing.

          • artemis

            +1 to this. And nursing without having to pump is a much more pleasant experience!

    • Planner

      Maybe:
      Sandy Point State Park, on the Bay, though you have to time it right to not get caught up in the traffic coming back from the eastern shore.
      Also other Bay sites – Chesapeake Beach, or Calvert Cliffs State Park, where you can look for shark’s teeth in the sand.

    • same boat

      I hear you! I was actually pretty lucky that I ran until the day I went into the hospital and have been back running for some time (I’m 4 months post). So my mileage is up a bit higher, but finding the time to fit it in when a bad night occurs or work gets crazy. I’m hungry all the time from running, pumping, and sadly just being tired makes me want all the sugar. I love being able to run and it does give me energy and I wouldn’t trade being able to do it, but yeah wish I could lose the last of this weight and not want alllll the food…luckily not stressing too much until I’m done pumping, then I’ll give myself a hard time.

  • Rave: got drinks with a good friend I hadn’t seen in forever last night and it was lovely.
    Rave: I’m sort of in love with Reliable Tavern….and the cute bartender who made me drinks last night
    Rant: My all in one washer dryer isn’t drying well and I’ve been told that I need to pull it out, take the top off, and remove lint around the heating element by hand. Okay, that’s fine, I just need help pulling it out of the closet, from underneath the platform the developer built to put over it to hold the hot water heater. Lol, no dice. They must have installed the washer/dryer THEN built the platform around it because there isn’t room to get it out. If you go straight it runs into the door frame. There’s not enough room to angle it either. It’s never coming out- not to remove lint, replace hoses, or anything. It’s coming out when it dies and I will apparently have to empty the water heater, create temporary supports for the platform, take apart the platform, remove the beast, replace the beast, then reinstall the platform. Or spend $$$$$ to get a tankless and ditch the platform all together. Omg the stupidity of this is overwhelming.

    • Reminds me of the narrow, deep utility closet in my old condo; the gas water heater was behind the full-size stacked washer/dryer. The only way to access the water heater (which had to be done shortly after moving in when the water heater went out), was to pull out the washer and dryer. Who designs/approves this kind of thing?

      • DCReggae

        Where there’s a will, there’s a way Jeslett. I literally just helped a friend remove lint from his all-in-one last night, without all the draining, supporting, reinstalling you speak of :) Maybe hire a task rabbit handyman to help you?

        • I have about 4 inches of clearance on above the all in one. I can’t even get the top off of it with that little space.
          But who designed this at all? If it needs any service or I need to replace the hoses I physically cannot get to them.

      • HaileUnlikely

        I’m not sure whether that would meet code or not, but in any event, a water heater is a kind of thing that has to be accessed less than once per decade on average, so I’d find that to be an annoying but forgivable inconvenience. Now if you have to get back there to change the HVAC filter or something, that’s a real bonehead design.

        • The water heater isn’t the issue, it’s just that it’s on top of the platform and when full of water easily weighs 1400 lbs. The all in one, which is under the platform, needs to be somewhat taken apart to get additional lint out, for this model removing lint from the gasket and doing the regular front drain/lint removal are not enough. But I can’t get the all in one out from under the platform because the platform was built after the all in one was installed. It is literally trapped in my closet with no way to move it unless the platform is taken apart.

          • jim_ed

            Wait so whats the platform tied into? I assume the washer and dryer isnt carrying the load for the water heater, right?

  • Anonymous

    Query: Any recommendations for a seamstress who can shorten a bridesmaid dress quickly (by middle or end of next week)? It doesn’t have to the absolute best since the color and cut are forgiving. Thanks!

    • hiphopanonymous

      I have an excellent seamstress if you’re willing to commute to the Hill…

      • Anonymous OP

        Thank you, that would be great!

      • hiphopanonymous

        The name is “Best Tailoring & Dry Cleaning”, and they’re at 344 8th St. NE. Sue does the tailoring, and she’s wonderful! I had a bridesmaid dress that needed to be taken up, and instead of making it some expensive hem job she just added an extra stitch to the rouching in the back. I think I paid $17!

    • ke

      I’ve used American Valet on Wisconsin in Tenleytown. It’s been a while since I needed the seamstress, but I recall that she was really nice and the work was done quickly.

    • BookaholicAnonymous

      If you’re closer to Mount Pleasant, I’ve been pleased with the seamstress at Lamont Cleaners. A hem usually takes 3 days.

    • shortgirlproblems

      While none of them were complicated, I’ve gotten some dresses hemmed at DC Cleaners in Adams Morgan (Columbia Road near Belmont). She turned them around in about 3-4 days, I tend to go on Saturday and they’re ready by Wednesday.

  • LittleBluePenguin

    Rave/Rant: Feeling upbeat, even though I know these next few days are going to be absolutely exhausting – I have a conference down in FL, so I fly out at 6 p.m., who knows when I get to my hotel, and then the next day, lots of learning and then I have to present a scientific poster – ack! Then more learning, and I fly out late Saturday night. I want to be able to hang out some after the sessions are done, but I really don’t think there’s going to be tons of time, and it’s especially weird since I straddle both the professional and patient world, so I have to be “on” as my professional self but also want to connect to people on another level. Bah! Anyway, whatever!
    Rave: I couldn’t find a 9-volt battery to put a new one in the fire alarm, but at least it still seems to be off and my system is not chirping!
    Rant: Have not yet packed a single thing and need to have everything ready to go so I can leave straight from work tomorrow….

  • skj84

    Rant: flight from Hell from Atlanta to DC last night. We were delayed over 1 1/2 due to storming, and the flight itself was turbulent as all get out. Like drops and swerves. We had to circle DCA for a bit to ride out the storms before landing. I’m a nervous flier so of courses I was miserable. Never was so happy to be on the ground. It was after midnight by the time I deplaned and got my bag, so I had to Uber home.
    Rave: despite all of that I really enjoyed Atlanta. I didnt get to explore as much as I wanted to, but I liked what I did see. I hope I can travel back soon.

    • dcd

      This seems redundant – “flight from Hell from Atlanta “

    • Pixie

      I had a flight like this once from Nashville to DC. 1.5 hours of crazy turbulence from take off to landing in a tiny plane. It was awful. I spent the entire flight with my eyes squeezed shut and my music on full volume so I couldn’t hear people freaking out around me.

  • Revel: field day!
    Rant: people who normally wouldn’t be in my room coming in and looking to find things wrong to assert their power.

  • FridayGirl

    Rant/Rave: Back to DC later today…
    .
    Question for the PoPulace: I’m going to save up to get LASIK hopefully in the next year or so. Does anyone have recommendations for really trustworthy places to get LASIK in DC? (I considered coming home for it but almost no place offers it here!)

    • Andie302

      SKT’s brother got a good rate somewhere nearby and then everyone that gives his name has gotten the same rate, but I don’t know which doctor. I’ll send her an email but I think she’s in Ireland right now, so it may take some time to get a response.

      • FridayGirl

        Thank you!

    • Oy With the Poodles Already

      I went to Eye Doctor’s of Washington, recommended to me by many in the optometry field. My surgeon was Dr. Thomas Clinch. Found them great to work with from initial consultation to post-surgery follow-up. I’ve actually decided to switch to them for my annual eye exams.

    • eyesss

      I went to eye doctors of washington in 2011, super happy with it! I tell my husband getting LASIK was the best decision I ever made ;) My one note of advice, a lot of places do a free consult, get that done first to be sure you’re a candidate. You don’t want to wait all that time to find out you can’t have it done.

      • FridayGirl

        Good point, thank you so much!

    • WhoseEar

      I went to Dr. Wills at LasikPLUS in Alexandria and had a great experience from start to finish. I had terrible vision (-7.5 in both eyes) and really wish I would have gone years earlier! Good luck.

  • Presents

    Popquery: I want to take my husband somewhere fun in the area so he can ride jetskis for Father’s Day. Any suggestions?
    Rant: The state of our nation
    Rave: covfefe

    • Formerly ParkViewRes

      I recommend Lake Anna!

  • bubbles

    Rave: Long time lurker/one-off commenter, first time committed poster!
    Rave: Today marks two weeks of successfully alternating days lifting weights and running. I’m tired, but enthusiastic!
    Rave: Catching up with childhood friends this weekend.
    Rave: Today marks two years since I moved into my current apartment with my SO. I never want to move!
    RAVE: 6.5 weeks until I quit my job and travel for a month in Europe!!!!!!!!! I have been counting down since 12 weeks, and it’s finally starting to sound close!
    Rant: Working from an empty office on tedious projects.

    • FridayGirl

      Welcome!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Welcome!

    • LittleBluePenguin

      Welcome! Where in Europe are you going traveling?

  • Andie302

    Rave: Wonderful long weekend at the river
    Rant/Rave: Dress shopping Thursday at Trunk Club. Rave because I know it’ll be fun and memorable, and I’ll likely find something; rant because I didn’t get in shape like I thought I would. Looking forward to the experience for the most part!
    Holy crap: We’re getting married in three weeks! I feel like it’s been “oh we’ll figure that out later” for a long time – and now it’s go-time.
    Rave: No one has to buy an outfit (although my guess is that family will for photos on the day of our wedding), all labor will be completely voluntary (and appreciated profusely!) and it should be a fun celebration!

    • cachito

      Your wedding sounds like what I’m hoping mine will shape up to be – low stress for all parties involved and focusing on the relationship with your partner. Enjoy your last three weeks as an engaged couple!

  • BookaholicAnonymous

    Rave–had to go to the DMV this morning, and it was so efficient! The DC government can be a sh!t show, but this is one thing they apparently do right!
    Rave–have to give a little love to Latena Ethiopian in Columbia Heights. Hadn’t been in a few months, but we stopped in for dinner last night and everything was delicious! Only worry is that the place was absolutely empty. So please visit, we don’t want them to close!

    • _____Woods

      what time did you get there and about how long did it take? I need to get a DC license eventually

      • FridayGirl

        And which one did you go to?

      • Anon Spock

        I went to Rhode island on a Saturday morning around 9-10a and it took about 20 mins to get from standing in line to being processed. Just make sure you have everything you need.

    • BookaholicAnonymous

      I went to the Georgetown DMV. I was in line at 9:00, they opened at 9:15, and I was out the door at 9:34. I think being in line a little before they opened was key; even though they weren’t yet open, there were DMV employed checking in with everyone in line to make sure that everyone had the correct forms, supporting documentation, etc.

    • anonymouse_dianne

      I renewed my license at the Georgetown location and it took just a few minutes over an hour. The location is clean, well lit, air conditioned. There is per hour parking garage. Highly recommend it.

  • artemis

    Rant: My toddler is teething. As with the last round of teeth, it looks like he’s working on about four teeth at a time. He was up so many times last night. We are both exhausted.
    Rave: Coffee. All the coffee.
    Rant: It seems like every morning that I wake up I’m behind on the latest White House kerfluffle. I don’t even know if I want to try to keep up anymore.

    • Herewegoagain

      Bonus for using “kerfuffle” and “coffee” in the same post on Covfefe Day!

      • mtpresident

        kerfuffle is my favorite word.

  • MK

    Rant: Best Buy has not shown up with my delivery again. This is the third date. I’m fed up as hell with them. I stopped shopping at Sears for appliances because of this very same problem. Does anyone know the meaning of good customer service these days?

    • FridayGirl

      Nope. I almost grabbed the phone out of my mom’s hand and went off on some HVAC company yesterday because they wouldn’t give her an appointment for when they could come see what size A/C sleeve the apartment has. (Who doesn’t even give a time window for when they’ll come? Comcast is better than that!)

    • Formerly ParkViewRes

      Ughhhh, as I read this all I could think is god, customer service is so dead. And for places like Best Buy and Sears–umm it’s kind of important! They’re not going to be able to stay around forever.

  • MK

    More Ranting: I hear you FridayGirl. It is 12:58. I have been on the phone trying to get an answer from them since 12:06. I’m talking to my third customer service rep (because the other two cut me off) who says he doesn’t know what happened even though he’s looking at all the emails back and forth. Now they’re telling me the delivery people and the installation people are two different teams and they have to schedule two different dates. All I want is a f-ing a/c unit put in the window so it won’t leak down into the wall. If I could do it myself I would. This has been going on since May 15th. I’m fed up and will never ever order anything from them again.

  • Late day rant: I am so sick of saying anything about being single, good or bad, complaining or just observing, and I get the same three pieces of advice from “well meaning” people-
    1. You’ll find it when you’re not looking!!!
    2. Here’s how to be happy single, because you’re probably not happy
    3. Have you thought about not wanting what you want?

    • Hookdntx

      Preach!

      4. If it is meant to be, it will…..

      • Oh god yes, how did I forget that one???

    • LittleBluePenguin

      +1. But genuine question, what would you want to hear? I mean, I get the same responses, and I know they’re well-meaning, but they’re not helpful. But I don’t know what would actually BE helpful. Maybe just saying nothing? giving you a hug? I don’t know.

      • Formerly ParkViewRes

        I was wondering that too. I think probably just listening is the best because there’s not much you can say that’s helpful or you haven’t already heard.

      • Jay

        “I know they’re well-meaning, but they’re not helpful.”

        … except that perhaps the pointers can be helpful? I mean, I personally know women who have met spouses by following at least two of these three pointers. It’s easy to say, “yeah, but that’s not for me”… but the advice is clearly for *someone* and sometimes we’re too knee-deep in our own little worlds to see the traps we can get stuck in…

        • Sure, some pointers are helpful, but hearing these things over and over and over gets frustrating, not to mention it feels condescending. Maybe if I was 22 or just out of a very long relationship I would need some help, but not in my mid 30s.
          I don’t see a lot of advice in these. I see a lot of non-critical thoughts that show the person is barely listening to you and making a lot of assumptions.
          Maybe you have to be a single woman who has heard these things literally hundreds of times to reach the level of annoyance I have, but these things are ANNOYING.
          Depending on context I may let them slide entirely, but in a lot of progressive/feminist spaces or from good friends I expect better.

          • LittleBluePenguin

            Yeah, I’m honestly at the point where unless someone can point to a very specific action I can take or suggest someone to me that they think I should date, I’d prefer they just nod sympathetically and then move the conversation on to something else. I They might mean well with these throw-away lines, but yes, they get annoying and can feel invalidating. Hugs to you, Jeslett! I have no suggestions or ideas for you, all i can say is that I know you’re a badass person and I am rooting for you!

      • 1. For me, I’m in my mid 30s, I’ve been single and in serious relationships, I’ve online dated and dated in the wild. I’ve looked and not looked and clearly neither has proven “successful.” I hear this all of the time and it’s annoying and honestly, it’s throw away advice. This theoretical well meaning person could say something like “I hear you, dating is hard, how are you feeling about where you are currently?”
        2. Single people are not necessarily sad. Coupled people are not necessarily happy. I’m a single badass and you’re clearly not paying attention if you think I need pointers on how to pull myself out of this nonexistent desperate, lonely morass.
        3. You’re invalidating my feelings.

    • That One Guy

      5. But you don’t want to die alone.

      • Lol yeah, because getting married clearly absolves you of that prospect.

      • LittleBluePenguin

        eh. If i’m going to evacuate my bowels in death anyway, isn’t it preferable to be alone? (Kidding. I have a dark sense of humor).

    • anon

      Actually, everybody I know who has found a partner since college age worked really hard at it – dating, online or otherwise, etc. It was always a real campaign. (I’m figure I’m still single because I haven’t done so.) Even those who seemingly met through friends of friends had to take risks, and really work at it. I’m convinced it just doesn’t “happen” for busy adults after a certain age.

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