Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user Beau Finley

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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141 Comment

  • Rant: I’m super stressed this week and my anxiety has been through the roof! It’s really a terrible cycle – I get mad at myself for being stressed, which stresses me out more.
    Rave: Tomorrow is my boyfriend’s birthday and I can’t wait for all the surprises I have in store. They were a large source of my street (thanks unreliable people of the world) but everything is pretty much set at this point.
    I have an interview today so I’m hoping once that is over, the weight will be lifted, and I can just enjoy this weekend I’ve been working very hard on for so long.
    Rave: My boyfriend is amazing and deserves every bit of the effort I am putting in, if not so much more.

    • Good luck on your interview! And enjoy the boyfriend birthday celebration!

    • Yeah, it’s like: I can handle the logistics but need people to get back to me! We’ve all been there, and probably been the slow responders too.

      Good luck at the interview!

      • Yes! In this instance, I planned the date/time around people who said they were free. And then they decided Gold Cup was more imporant. So I made the plans & ordered food based on the lower turnout but now that the weather will stink, suddenly they’re free again and I’m coughing up more money I don’t have. He’ll love that his former-life friends are there though so I’m just going to suck it up and take joy in his happiness. And thank you for your well wishes 🙂

    • Emmaleigh504

      Good luck on the interview!

  • Rant: Trying to fill a bedroom rather than a whole house is so damn difficult. Neighbor just listed his whole house and he is getting a lot of interest with groups stopping by, but I am barely getting any. Technically we have until July 1 to find someone, but I am just done with it so I might drop the rent and offer free rent for the month of June! Rave: Wife’s offer letter should come today.
    Rant: SPORTS! DC Sports! Any sports team I like/root for seems to get my hopes up and then crush them!

    • Formerly ParkViewRes, how long do you typically rent the bedroom out for? I’m locked in to my place until end of January, but I’m still trying to keep tabs on what’s going on rent-wise /what might be available in DC….

      • Well, it has never been available until now so before it was always on a year long lease. Right now, it would be June-Nov with the option to stay beyond that for however long. I’d prefer whoever comes in next stays beyond November.

        • Understandable! How much are you charging / for what? Again, trying to see what my options might be come next year….

    • It’s 2 months in advance. I imagine a group wanting to move together would need a bit more lead time than a single person looking for a room…more availability for the latter, of course. You will have much more luck a month out, so stop looking now, and repost at the end of May. I found my roommate for an August 1 move-in the first week of July. I had tons of interest, and I ended up going with the 1st person I showed it to. People are last minute here; don’t stress it.

      • No, she is moving late May so it really is available June 1 (and that’s what I have it posted as), but she has offered to give me her deposit for the month of June if we don’t find someone by then.

        • I would try to end your next lease at the end of July. That is just a better timeframe; Nov is going to be even harder than May, I think. The June-Nov may be scaring people off even if you mention they can extend longer in the ad. If you have the coverage via the deposit, I would not stress too much. I think you’ll find someone.

  • skj84

    Rave: My insurance covers my therapy
    Rant: Until I hit my deduction I’m still paying a lot out of pocket.
    Rant: I’m sure my deductible will go up with the proposed health plan. I’m so stressed out about this. I mean I’m stressed out and anxious about everything, but this is just adding to the awfulness.
    Rant: A good friend was diagnosed with cancer. It was caught early, but I’m so sad for what she is going to have to go through. And what happens to her coverage if this proposed health bill goes through.

    • Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about your friend, skj. I’ll keep her in my thoughts.

    • That’s a lot at once, I’m sorry skj84. Many well wishes for your friend.

    • My parents live in a republican house district (in a blue state), and have been callng their congressman non stop. Ugh. I really don’t want this to pass even the house. its so abysmal what has become of this country – they would rather have a W even if it risks millions of lives.

    • skj84

      Thanks guys. Its a lot, but I’m going to try to transfer my anxiety into planning. Chatting with friends to put together a care spreadsheet for my friend. Fully prepared to cook, clean, and be a shoulder for her to cry on.

  • Rave: Tomorrow off, annual trip a cabin with good friends (some of whom I only see this weekend every year). Our trips have obviously changed some (kids, bedtimes, etc.), but we still get in our silliness, basement dance parties, and general merriment. Plus, the kids are hilarious, and seeing mini versions of your friends never gets old.

    Rant: Pushing back against some undue influence from a boss at work. It’s stressful and yet kind of fun because I am right and can be antagonistic sometimes.

    Rave: Drive time to think about some strategic things.

    Rant: Could use a nice, long weekend in the District, but I can’t really complain except for here.

    • A cabin trip sounds amazing! Have fun!

    • Very excited to hear about your cabin trip with good friends… for me with getting older, I only get to see certain friends once a year sometimes for my birthday (and it’s not that they have to travel far, they are in the area). I don’t know if that’s normal or not, but it makes me sad.. when we were younger it used to not be like that. Who knows, have fun!

  • Rant: Piggybacking on skj84’s rant, I too am stressed and anxious and so f#*king angry about the proposed amendment to the ACA that the GOP is trying to ram through. The utter callousness and cruelty of such a proposal is sickening to me.
    Rant: Even if the ACA makes it out of this unscathed for now, we still need a much better health system nationwide!
    Rave: work is quieter this morning. I feel like I can breathe a little
    Rave: I got my pretty thank-you cards out in the mail to send to my walk donors, and found the Happy Birthday card for my BFF-in-law that I thought I lost 2 years ago, so i can send him a fun card for his birthday in a few days

  • Rant: What I thought was allergies ending up being a massive sinus infection that has taken 2 urgent care visits (including one on a business trip) and more prescriptions than I can count, and it still isn’t under control. I’ve got more drugs in me than a Rite Aid, and I still feel awful.
    Rave: Thursday. Hopefully working from home tomorrow.
    Rave: The kiddo has seemed to get back to normal after having a few weeks of being extra testy. It is nice to have my sweet girl back. Yesterday she gave me a hug out of the blue and said “I missed you Momma!” and my heart basically melted.

  • Rant: Litterers.
    Rant: This morning as I was walking to Metro, I saw a guy preparing to urinate against a building. WTF?

  • Rant: No starch/sugar/alcohol diet proving predictably impossible to keep to.
    .
    Rave: No starch/sugar only when the daughter makes a dessert/ pretty low alcohol consumption all things considered proving reasonably effective.

  • Rant: After more than a decade, my boss suddenly hates my work. So demoralized. I wish I could quit.

    Rant: Tomorrow is my long-distance boyfriend’s 40th birthday. I haven’t been able to reach him since Monday and he’s been off WhatsApp and other accounts since Tuesday night. Argh.

  • Rant: Delivery companies. FedEx is on a whole other level of terrible, but yesterday UPS “delivered” something and left it on my front steps according to the email I received. Except I have saved instructions on my UPS account to have all deliveries out back as my front steps are right off the sidewalk. So either my package was stolen within the 1 hour between delivery time and when I got home OR they delivered it to the wrong address – which happens a lot more than you’d think.

    • UPS is the worst. I routinely pay for the delivery windows and they never work. Last time they delivered them about 2 hours before the window but didn’t mark as delivered until just after my delivery window opened.
      Thankfully I saw the delivery on my Ring doorbell and took an uber home to grab the packages before they were stolen. Instructions to put the packages in the stairs below my house result in the packages just left out on my front steps. I usually just ship stuff to my office, but for some larger items I’ve got to get them sent home.

      • HaileUnlikely

        I agree with the spirit of your post, but I assure you that LoseyerShit (dba LaserShip) is much much worse.

        • This is true. It seems that Amazon hasn’t been using them as much lately, at least for my Prime deliveries. There was a stretch that was all LaserShip, seems to be more USPS now.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I used to be very happy with Google Express, back when a Google contractor in a vehicle with a Google logo on it would go to the store, pick up your order, and deliver it to your home. Google has since abandoned that and now relies heavily on LoseyerShit. They’ve delivered not one, not two, not three, but four of my deliveries (out of maybe 12-15 total) to the wrong house. Not the one next door (forgiveable), but other houses way down the block with numbers nothing like mine, and one to the same-numbered house on the wrong street.

          • I left Google Express a few months ago (just didn’t use it enough to justify the cost, and Prime Now offers enough of the things I’d use GE for), and that explains why my last order was such a disaster. Every time before, they’d buzz me to let them in, carry my order to my unit door, and knock. This time, I got the notification that the delivery had been made – no buzz for entry, no knock on the door. I race downstairs to make sure they hadn’t left a mess in the lobby, and my entire order was SITTING OUTSIDE. It takes less than 15 minutes for unattended deliveries to disappear around my neighborhood. Not to mention, while packaged, there was food in those bags that would attract bugs and critters. Guess I left at the right time.

    • I’m not sure how your back of property is accessed- but If I was FedEx or Ups- I am not driving down any alley to diver a package. If it’s a freight service type delivery company sure- but to ask a.fedex guy to walk or drive around into an alley is extreme.

      • Really? Are there rules regarding this? I have a front desk so it’s not really a concern for me, but I’m curious. (At the same time, even this wouldn’t help if someone was following the truck to steal, since they’d see where the driver goes…)

      • HaileUnlikely

        This is a good point. I honestly don’t think much about it, because I live in a duplex and have a paved walkway that leads right to my deck. However, in the case of a mid-block rowhome, this would be a kind of ridiculous request, and hell, it might not even be possible to determine from the rear which house is the right one (on some blocks all of the homes have their addresses on the rear, but on many they don’t. On some blocks the numbers go up by 2; on some blocks they go up by 4, on some they generally go up by 2 but with a few skips here and there, on some they follow odd patterns. On the block north of me they alternate increments of 2 vs 4 (e..g, 6000 6002 6006 6008 6012 6014 etc). If they’re not marked in the back, the driver would hardly ever end up delivering to the correct house.

      • I live in a house that runs parallel to the alley. It’s about 20 feet of walking to get to my back deck and my regular UPS driver does it every single time. Yesterday was some other UPS service and not my typical driver – and ignored the saved delivery instructions.

  • topscallop

    Rant: my tolerance for alcohol seems to have dropped precipitously in the last week. Is this my body acknowledging I’m 30?
    Question: in spite of the above, I’m craving margaritas. Does anyone know of any good cinco de mayo deals on tomorrow?

    • ha! Don’t have an answer to either of your questions but am also interested in the learning the answers!

    • I think Busboys has $5 margaritas tomorrow, but I haven’t paid much attention to other deals since I already have plans with work colleagues.

    • Yes to the 30 bit! Except in my 10-months of experience, one week I’m like “oh hey I’m fine” and another I’m like “oh dear god why do two drinks make me feel like death for four days?!”

      • skj84

        yeah that was me today. I had two not particularly strong beers last night. Why did I feel like crap in the morning?

      • topscallop

        I’m six months into being 30 and all of a sudden a couple glasses of wine is giving me a headache?! Last night after this happy hour, I went buzzed grocery shopping and ended up with a log of goat cheese, peanut butter cups, and three more bottles of wine, which I thankfully was smart enough to stow in the refrigerator rather than opening once I got home. Then I crashed on the couch. Maybe I can still blame this on the jet lag…

        Also, I thought of a belated rant/rave: I followed the “treat yo’self” philosophy a couple of times this week with online purchases, with the excuse of celebrating my new job. I took advantage of the Nordstrom Rack Marc Jacobs sale to get a new purse, and then a “friend of the pod” t-shirt from the Crooked Media guys – both of which I need like another hole in the head – but at least the new job has a higher salary…

      • Yep this is me. I’m not quite 30 yet. It started happening when I hit 25 though…and hasn’t stopped.

        • Same. I blame the time I didn’t drink more than two or three beers over the course of a full year, since I’m in denial about age having anything to do with metabolism.

  • Rant: Tired. Why do I always feel tired lately?
    .
    Rave: Telework. Although I still need to force myself to do some actual work even though I can relax(ish) while doing it.
    .
    Rant: I am severely low on food in my house this week for some reason. Might need to scrounge for lunch.

  • Rave: Sister-in-law is on her way here! We’ve never really been close so I’m excited to have some time with her (well, and a friend). Going to Zaytinya tonight, then they’re doing Monuments by Moonlight. (Rant: I’d like to go along but the damn thing is $42!) Good bonding time, hopefully (that being said, she’s been married to my brother for 12 years…it’s about time!)
    Rave: Organization-wide pilot program is officially kicking off today, and I have a relatively important role. This is nerve wracking! (I work in a very large organization!)
    Rave: Clean house again due to aforementioned visit. Feels good!
    Rant: After a week and a half away, boss is back tomorrow. I get so much accomplished when he is NOT here!

  • Accountering

    Rave: Heading to NY this weekend to celebrate my birthday with family and friends, and to do the NY 5 Borough Bike Tour
    Rave2: I think we are going to make it the NY 4 Borough Bike Tour, and skip out in Brooklyn and go to breweries instead of going all the way to Staten Island.
    Rave3: Taking my parents to look at a condo in Falls Church this evening that they are excited about! They currently have a 4000 sq foot house in Fairfax that they are excited to sell, and downsize. It is much too big for them!
    Rave4: Finally got my Virginia real estate license. Very excited to have completed DC and Virginia.
    Rave5: Good friend closed on his condo in Arlington yesterday. Needs new floors, can lights in the ceiling, paint, and a new kitchen, but who knew you could buy a condo in North Arlington for $150k!
    Rave/Rant: Turning 30 – excited for the future, but that is a big one
    Rant: Caps. You have got to be kidding me. Takes the positive out of all the above. Couldn’t have had a season better lined up to win the Stanley Cup, and we still can’t get by the Crosby-less Penguins.

    • Happy early Birthday, Accountering!
      .
      (On a side note, it’s interesting to realize people’s ages on here – for some reason I always think people are quite a bit older than me, but I guess I overestimate! Ha.)

      • Oh, there are a few of us here who actually ARE old curmudgeons, rather than just acting the part.

        • Oops, just realized that my post implied that Accountering acted like an old curmudgeon, which was not my intention! Just (inartfully) wanted to confirm that FridayGirl’s age assumptions are right, at least sometimes.

        • binntp

          Indeed (agrees this old curmudgeon)…when I was their age, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ’em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we… oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time.

      • I Dont Get It

        Happy Birthday!

      • Yep – I’m knocking on the doorstep of my mid 30s. A lot of you are much younger, which is weird (Ive always been the young one in my social groups! no longer)

    • I knew Andie was a real estate agent on the side, and I knew you did a lot of property-investment stuff, but I didn’t realize you too had become an actual real estate agent — congratulations!
      .
      And happy early birthday!

      • Accountering

        Thanks! It has been a work in process – I am just doing it on the side as well, but it has been a long road – started with the class in November, got licensed in DC in February, and found out just yesterday that Virginia is complete 🙂

    • Oh god I feel so old! Congrats and happy birthday and all that jazz, you youngster!

      • Andie302

        lol me too 🙂

        • Andie, my husband is six years younger than me. I find that the age differences works out just fine. 🙂

          • My wife is three years older then I am – makes no difference at all. Plus, it’s fun to tease her about (for one of us, at least).

          • HaileUnlikely

            There was a really interesting study a couple years ago in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in which researchers developed a measure that they called “biological age,” or basically how old somebody seemed to be based on a bazillion physiological measures, and compared that to their chronological age. What was really interesting was that this was in a cohort study of a couple thousand people on whom they took measures repeatedly over a couple decades. They found, that between the ages of about 25 or so and about 50 or so, the effective rate of aging (increased years of biological age per actual calendar year) ranged from nearly zero to nearly three years per year. That’s a really long-winded way of saying that the effects of small differences in chronological age vary a lot across the population.
            .
            Hell, per the above, I think my biological age jumped from about 25 to about 55 in a span of about a week around my 32nd birthday.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Happy Birthday! Have fun in NYC!

    • skj84

      Happy early birthday Accoutering!

    • Mind if I ask about where in North Arlington?

      • Accountering

        Right at Lee Hwy and Glebe road. Within a half mile or so there are a good number of places in the low 200s mostly, but this was a FSBO, so it was an extra challenge. We got over the finish line though! There are also a good number of places there that are 1M+, but some cheap condo buildings that work well.

  • Rave: I slept decently for the first time all week.
    Rant: Baby Artie was up once around four. Can we please start sleeping through the night again?
    Rave: Baby Artie had a really good therapy session this morning. I’m pleased with his progress and so much less anxious than I was even a few months ago. Early intervention is the best.
    Rant: Congress’ health care bill. Sexual assault survivors deemed to have a preexisting condition? If I were a cartoon character, I would have steam coming out of my ears.
    Rave: Crockpot chicken cacciatore for dinner. I love set it and forget it meals; it is like having a personal chef.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: managed to not rinse all the conditioner out of my hairs so now I look grunge
    Rave: Enjoyed NPR’s coverage of the hip hop artists doing Llama llama. It was great to see how differently they did it. Now I want to hear them all.

  • rant: online dating… how many dozens of (thoughtfully crafted) messages am I supposed to send before I get a response?
    rave: “in the wild” dating, where chance encounters have resulted in two offered phone numbers in the last two weeks!
    rant: feeling a little under the weather, so it’s hard to figure the right balance between promptly getting in touch and putting off until a time when I’m a little less zombie-ish…

    • Jay, if I may (sorry). I did the same thing online at first. Don’t thoughtfully craft your messages. The data shows that the response rate for personalized messages is a tiny, tiny percentage higher than less personal, more casual messages. If she likes you and thinks you’re cute, she’ll respond. So spread out the messages, maybe key in on one thing she mentions in her profile and just get the conversation going. Don’t write too long of a message, and write many messages to many potential partners.

      (Also, read Dataclysm by OKCupid founder, totally fun to read, not a dating book but has fun insights like the above).

      In the wild is so much better. It gets so much out of the way, you know, she knows, it’s just better.

      • I’m going to second ShawThroughtheHeart on much of this. It really does come down to whether someone thinks you’re attractive and likes your profile. I, personally, don’t respond to “hey what’s up?” and I also don’t respond to incredibly long messages because I feel like they’re overwhelming. If someone messages me who is: 1) nearby, 2) relatively attractive (in my view), and 3) sends 1-2 sentences that indicate they’ve at least sort of read my profile, the chances of a reply are much higher. Beyond that, it’s luck and whether someone is even checking their messages (which I often do not do, and I should probably just turn off my account).

      • “The data shows that the response rate for personalized messages is a tiny, tiny percentage higher than less personal, more casual messages.” What’s the definition of “personalized” here? If a guy’s incoming message doesn’t demonstrate that he read my profile, I don’t even respond.
        .
        Agreed on not writing too long of a message.

        • I was thinking just casual like: H r u bayb? 🙂

          Just kidding. I mean, not a copy/paste job, but a basic, “Hey, I’m Name, I noticed you. Interested to hear more about your Hobby/Interest or that Trip you took. I’m into that Hobby/Interest too, or loved in at that Trip place. Have a wonderful mornin”

          • Also, then quickly re-read it so you don’t make the typos I made above in that last sentence. That’s definitely another good tip: be literate.

        • Yeah, I guess by “thoughtfully crafted”, I simply meant “more substantial than ‘hey, what’s up?’ while also being not crass or generic, mentioning something in the profile; preferably including some kind of question that can provide the basis for a response”… these aren’t epics, they’re four to six sentences, tops… (is that really too long? … incidentally, the best online dating experience I ever had – several years ago – started with an initial message that was three substantial paragraphs and got a response that was twice as long!)

          • Also, don’t forget that a lot of people have filters on OKC. I don’t get messages in my in box if the person is too far away, doesn’t fit the things I’m looking for, or if the message is three words or fewer.
            So you might be sending all of these messages and only so many are getting through.

          • Ditto on filters.

          • Three words? I’m interested in the combinations they’d even use?

            Hi. Girl, you.

            Mike. Name. Me.

            Me Fancy You. (eh, that could work)

      • topscallop

        I agree with this advice; my fiancé and I met on OKCupid and his first message to me picked something specific out of my profile that he complimented me about. It was a short message but showed he had read my profile and was interested in what I cared about. It also helped that what he was commenting on was the thing I put in there to scare off the men’s rights activists (feminism). And yes, he was cute and I liked his profile, so that was enough for me to be interested in meeting in person.

        So I guess my advice on top of what has already been said is to key in on something from her profile that isn’t the most obvious thing she will get a million messages about in a given day, and ask her about that.

    • That reminds me… if organizer SinSA is out there, did we settle on Wed. 5/17 for the next Wine & Bitch about (or ostensibly about) Internet dating?

    • Andie302

      Some more general advice (because a single male friend overheard this conversation and had no idea): Don’t have all of your photos be group shots so that you have to guess which person’s profile it is; if you’re balding, embrace it – don’t put in a bunch of pictures where the top of your head is cut off; do smile in your photo(s); don’t include photos with other women if there’s any chance it looks like anyone other than your mother; same with kids and dogs if they aren’t yours; and be honest about your height (ahem, accountering); and this one is a personal preference for me: no shirtless bathroom selfies

      If the woman likes you and is interested, you’ll hear from her. I had ZERO luck internet dating. People use a serious filter where they are only letting the top 1-20% through. Agree with the above that in-person is preferable where it can be achieved.

      • “be honest about your height (ahem, accountering)” — Was Accountering in the habit of lying about his height?
        .
        I went on one date with a guy who turned out to have lied both about his age and his height. He admitted having lied about his age; the height part was obvious when we were walking together. (He was shorter than I am but claimed to be taller.)

        • Andie302

          I never saw the profile (in part because I was out of his age range lol) but apparently he may have been generous with his estimated height

    • Almost forgot about that term “In the Wild”. Need to really start using it

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Middle Zelda thinks she can round up enough extra graduation tickets from her friends to that everyone can go.
    Rant: The situation with graduation tickets this year. The school needs to realize that it has outgrown Constitution Hall, tradition be damned. Another HS in the county is graduating at UMD this year, and that would be SO MUCH better.
    Rant: No, Middle Zelda, I will not just buy you a bunch of clothes for your graduation present.

    • We had our graduation on the football field at our high school. I just figured that’s how most schools did it!

      • Mine was at then Nissan Pavillion–now called Jiffy Lube Live, but I graduated with over 500 people!

      • Quotia Zelda

        My graduation was at UT’s basketball arena (and my school was about the same size as Middle Zelda’s). It was not as nice as being at a venue like Constitution Hall, but everyone’s family members could come.

    • I Dont Get It

      I used to work next to Constitution Hall and graduation season was so much fun seeing the groups of proud graduates one after the other for several days. One year we even had a graduation gown fashion contest. I don’t remember who won but the colors were scarlet, gold and white.

      • Quotia Zelda

        It’s a very nice space for graduation, and it’s fun being downtown (we’re having a celebratory lunch at Central afterward), but the school is just getting too big.
        When EZ graduated 2 years ago, every family got 5 tickets and could request more (and most got their request – we got 2 extra).
        This year, every family gets 5, but no extras. And the classes coming behind are even bigger.

    • We are already concerned about SO’s son’s graduation in two years. Just immediate family alone (mom, dad, actual siblings) the count is 6. Add step-parents and step-siblings and that’s an additional 5, 7 if you count the previous step-parents who will most likely want to go. Then grandparents. Aunts. Uncles….. shit gets big quick.

      • Quotia Zelda

        Yeah, tell me about it. BOTH sets of grandparents are coming. Plus 2 siblings and Emmaleigh.

        • Although I was just thinking, we now have quite a gang coming the Oldest Anonachild’s 5th grade graduation too! Woopsie…

    • saf

      I grew up in Rochester NY. Class of 350-ish. Graduated at the Eastman Theater. Such a nice place!

  • Rant: dropped my phone in the toilet last night. It seems to be working okay, but the camera lens is full of water. I don’t have a couple hundred bucks to throw at a new phone and I feel like an idiot. I’ve managed to never drop any of my previous, reasonably priced phones in the toilet, but now that I have a Pixel, apparently I’m stupid.
    Rant: CAPS
    Rave: I’m going to game 5
    Rant: but I may die during the game

    • Oh no!!! I’m sorry about your phone!!!!
      As a fellow Pixel user, I would make a joke here about how we should have risked the exploding battery of a Samsung for the waterproof feature, but it’s not really funny. Heh.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Just had a good experience with Thomas E Clark plumbing. YAY! Problems resolved and one for free.
    Rant: The plumber arrived two hours early before I had finished cleaning the house because, you know.

  • Rant: So yesterday I was riding the Metro as usual to work in Downtown DC on the Red Line. A woman gets on at Fort Totten metro and sits next to me (I’m in the window seat). She’s listening to music really loudly through her headphones. We get to my stop and the woman (important to note that she’s quite overweight and large) refuses to get up and yells at me saying “oh no, you wouldn’t.” Long story short, she didn’t want to move or let me to get off the train and if I tried to get out the only way I could would be to get obnoxiously close to her (I mean like her clothing/skin touching my clothing/skin-level stuff). Anyways, I had to stay on 5 extra stops, wait for her to get off, get off myself and go the opposite direction back to work. What would you have done in this situation? I can never catch a break! No more window seats for me!

    Rave: Excited for BrocolliCon tomorrow!

    • Quotia Zelda

      I’m pretty conflict avoidant, but I think I’d rather squeeze past/climb over her than be late to work. I’m not burning my leave time for some idiot riding Metro. I have to burn enough for the idiots running Metro.

    • I would have screamed very loudly “LET ME OUT I HAVE TO GET OFF THE TRAIN!” Screw her and everyone else. If I need to get somewhere, especially if that is off of a train, I will summon up my inner New Yorker and just push people out of the way if I have to. Go ahead and look at me weird, I don’t care.

    • That’s ridiculous! I would have yelled right back at her that I had to get off, but if it didn’t work, then asked the people in the seat in front or behind to get up so I could climb over the seats to get out. Of course, that would be difficult if wearing a skirt.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Skin/clothes touching is not that big a deal when it comes to getting out, IMO. I would have climbed over her if I had to, but I’m pretty pushy on metro. I’m not missing my stop for someone’s shenanigans.

    • You actually stayed on the train 5 extra stops because (i) someone wouldn’t get up to let you out, and (ii) you couldn’t get out without your clothing/skin touching her clothing/skin?
      .
      Wow?
      .
      In that situation, I would have gotten out of my seat, not cared one iota about rubbing against her, and chewed her out the whole time for her rudeness. And not felt bad – at all – about it.
      .
      Being conflict avoidant is fine, but you can’t let yourself be a doormat. If this is a common theme in your life, can I gently suggest some counseling? You need to be able to stand up for yourself.

      • HaileUnlikely

        OP did note that the person in question was quite large. I have a step-sister who weighs close to 400 pounds. Not to pick on her, but in all seriousness, if you’re on the inside and she’s in the aisle seat, you ain’t getting out without her cooperation. It sounds to me like the large passenger in question here had some mental health issues. I agree with you in general, but I’m not sure if this was a situation in which asserting yourself would have done a whole lot of good.

        • I would have climbed over the top of her if I had to. Seriously.

          • Andie302

            +1…At least by the next stop!

          • HaileUnlikely

            Depending on your size and athleticism, you might be able to, but there are certainly a lot of people who would be physically unable to. Given that the OP says the woman yelled at her “Oh no you wouldn’t!” I’m picturing that the OP may well have felt threatened, perhaps that the large woman was a little off and might have physically assaulted her if she had tried to climb out. Attempting to put myself in her shoes, if there had been a 6’5, 400 pound sleeping man sitting there, sure, I’d climb over him. If a 6’5, 400 pound man who clearly had a screw loose threatened me when I tried to get up, I honestly don’t have any idea what I would have done.

          • So this happened to me once, although the person on the aisle wasn’t huge, but they weren’t small either. I said excuse me. She didn’t move or acknowledge me. I said “this is my stop, I need to get off.” Again, nothing. So I braced on either side and literally climbed over her. She was PISSED. She started screaming at me and followed me off the train. But I just kept walking and eventually she walked away.
            I will say however, if someone actively looks at me and says no and I can’t physically get out b/c they are large. I would make sure others knew of my predicament and “hopefully” enlist their help. At minimum climbing over the seats in front or behind or asking them to call the conductor. If you are blocking my path, you are being aggressive and a bully. You don’t get to control me without some sort of fight.

    • HaileUnlikely

      This sounds like a really weird encounter, if I’m reading this correctly and she not only didn’t cooperate in making it easy for you to get out but actively refused to let you out. What would I have done? It depends on too many unknowable factors, including her overall demeanor (I get the idea from your post but wasn’t there and don’t really know), size differential, behavior of other passengers, etc.

    • Brushing past even for smaller folks is not uncommon, so I wouldn’t worry about that aspect. I’d do everything including stepping on her if she refused to move.

    • Oh hell no… Go 5 extra stops on account of this lady?