Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Jim Havard

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

Follow PoPville on Facebook here on Twitter here, and on Instagram here.  You can also sign up for daily email summaries here.  Please email tips and questions to [email protected]

170 Comment

  • Rant: The attacks in London hit very close to home. It’s absolutely terrifying seeing a place you know so well in the news like that. I’m also terrified of what Trump’s reaction will be given that the attacker was British Born. Ban all brown British people?
    Rant: My best friends from college are British Born Sikhs, who had faced so much shit in their own country. When they came here to visit me, they faced shit, and I am so concerned about their planned visit next month when I am certain they will face even more shit. But it’s not just them I lived in Rusholme in Manchester. I was surrounded by Muslims, and learned the beauty of the faith, of the people. Of course there are bad eggs. But it’s not all. Yet the community as a whole always suffers as a result of these sorts of attacks. It’s just not fair, it’s outrageous.

  • Rant: All of the winter weight
    Rave: Back on weight watchers to make this a permanent fix

    • I re-joined and loathed the new program and app (I didn’t even last a week before cancelling and going back to MFP). curious what you think about it…

  • Rave: Sunshine! Even if it burns me to smithereens, I love being surrounded by it on my walk to (and now from) the metro, seeing it out the windows when I can get out of my cubicle, etc.
    Rant: That awful sinking feeling you get when you get breaking news alerts to your phone
    Rave: Facebook’s feature of marking yourself safe in the event of an attack, weather event, etc.
    Rant: The fact that this feature is even needed is so depressing.
    Ravant? Neurology appointment today. Please oh please oh please I hope this person can fix my head!

    • binntp

      Good luck with the appointment. Are you by chance going to the Neurology Center in Wheaton? I take my parent with dementia there and they’ve been nothing short of wonderful.

      • Nope, it’s somewhere in Chevy Chase…I was specifically referred to this person by the consulting neurologist when I was hospitalized last July.

    • Good luck and keep us posted!

  • Rave: half day of work today!
    Rant: Feeling like shit this morning after not sleeping well last night.
    Rave: I think I’m losing weight but I’m not sure. My clothes are feeling a little looser.

  • Rant: Congressional Republicans and The White House gutting health coverage for hard working Americans while giving tax breaks to the wealthy.

    Rant: Let the poor kids study hungry. Data shows food in their bellies doesn’t boost their academic performance.

  • Rave: Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo at the Kennedy Center last night was amazing. Highly recommend catching them the next time they come to town.
    Rave: I also snagged a ticket to Infinite Kusama yesterday. I love that serious art can be fun.
    Rave: Caps tonight! I live a charmed life this week.
    Rave: No rants today!

  • Rant: Uber drivers. I don’t know if they are less courteous than cab drivers, or just that it’s less expected because you can’t tell a car is an Uber right away, but they just seem to stop wherever the eff they please, no matter what it does to traffic.
    Rant: My cat jumped up on the bed at 3:30 this morning (not unusual), meowed loudly (again, and unfortunately, not unusual), and proceeded to throw up right in the middle of the bed. I didn’t really get back to sleep.
    Rave: In the grand scheme of things, my personal rants aren’t so bad.

    • oooofff! well, I guess at least kitty gave you a warning meow? That really sucks, though, what a gross way to start the day.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Related Rant/Rave: Our fuzzy little kitten (the one my wife’s friend found in an alley as a likely 1-2 week old tiny little kitten) has grown into an enormous 8-month-old behemoth of a cat that is now obviously a Maine Coon(!). She loves to jump in bed in the middle of the night and pounce at anything that moves under the sheets. I find this behavior adorable and funny, and I can reliably get right back to sleep, but this often also wakes my wife up, and she sometimes has more difficulty getting back to sleep.

      • Glad that Behemoth Kitten’s behavior is at least amusing you, if not your wife. (I think I’d be in agreement with her on this one — I am NOT happy when my cat wakes me up in the middle of the night!)
        How is older Good Little Kitty these days?

        • HaileUnlikely

          Good Little Kitty is good. Fortunately not getting any littler, despite Behemoth Kitten gobbling up all virtually of the food in sight. We’re having a helluva time managing to successfully feed her without Behemoth Kitten getting all of the food first. Thus we’re very likely overfeeding the Behemoth, continuing to her continual enlargement, in order to make sure Good Little Kitty is able to eat anything. Not the ideal solution, but the best we’ve been able to come up with so far.

          • We had to start separating our cats while they eat ages ago because of this very issue–so they get fed twice per day, in separate rooms, and the slower-eating cat gets shut in a room to eat in peace. Unfortunately, she sometimes doesn’t eat as much unless someone is in there with her, so we sometimes hang out and pet her in the evening since we don’t have time for that in the morning.

          • Hmm… I think there are special feeding devices that you can use in this situation (one greedy cat and another less pushy cat) that will open only for a cat that has a corresponding microchip (or RFID tag or something) on its collar. But they’re pretty expensive.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Hmm…I had been thinking wondering if something like what you (textdoc) are describing existed. I like the idea. In our case, though, the Good Little Kitty isn’t microchipped (life-long indoor kitty, terrified of outdoors, not gonna run away), but the Behemoth is. Maybe it could be set up to *NOT* open when the Behemoth’s microchip is nearby.
            mtpresident – Yeah, we’ve been thinking we might have to take that approach. It’s hard for Good Little Kitty, though, because she’s been an only kitty for her whole 18 years, and has always had abundant food available on which she grazes at her leisure. She’s never had any need to run to her food bowl and scarf it down at “meal time.” The Behemoth won’t physically interfere with Good Little Kitty’s eating, it’s just that Good Little Kitty isn’t in any hurry to eat, whereas the Behemoth is always in a hurry to eat.

          • When I was a kid, my parents had a problem with one cat eating all the food and the other looking on hungry. My dad had an interesting, if DIY-heavy, solution. They had a ground-level bathroom cabinet that had both the front (with the cabinet door) and one side exposed. He added a partition in the cabinet to separate one corner from the other 3/4s of the area and then cut two holes in the exposed side–one that allowed immediate entry to the single corner and one (much smaller) that allowed entry to the L-shaped path that was the rest of the cabinet.

            Effectively, Big Kitty could only stick her head in the hole that led to the corner and that’s where Dad put her food bowl. Small Hungry Kitty could climb in to the rest of the cabinet and reach the other food bowl in peace.

            Like I said, DIY-heavy. But effective.

          • HaileUnlikely

            1301 – I love that. I’ll have to think about whether we have anywhere in our house where we could construct such a thing. Right now, the size differential might not be enough to make that workable (Good Little Kitty would have to work hard to get into a hole that was so small that Behemoth wouldn’t even be tempted and risk getting stuck). At the rate Behemoth is growing, though, we’ll probably be able to do something along those lines soon enough…

          • Another option–could GLK be trained to go through a cat door for food? And then use a cat-door that will only open for a tag on her collar? You might have to replace the door if you’re going to move, but it might also give GLK a space where she can be on her own if she so desires.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Never thought of that – thanks for the idea! (And as alluded to above, if we hold off a couple of months, a lower-tech solution may simply be a matter of not making the door too big!)

          • HaileUnlikely — This is the product I was thinking of:
            It looks like it can work with a collar tag if the cat doesn’t have a microchip. At $140, though, it’s pricey– I’d probably go with mtpresident’s idea of feeding in separate rooms if it were me.

          • You could get a simple plastic tote, cut a GLK-sized hole in it, and put her food in there. That’s assuming that BK is enough bigger, which it sounds like she is.

          • HaileUnlikely

            wdc – excellent idea. Right now I’m afraid BK could still get to it – she is not just fat but also long, most of her bulk is in the rear ~half of her body, and she still has a little kitten-sized head. At the rate she’s growing, I have no doubt that this will work in the very near future, but right now she could probably still fit her head and the front half to two-thirds of her very long body through a GLK-sized hole and thus still get to the food.

    • they need to ban ubers from picking up and dropping off in certain locations, IE right in front of a bus station for example…it would be cool if uber could understand traffic patterns and recommend people to walk to a less trafficked side street to be picked up.

      • In Clarendon they are going to implement designated lanes and pickup/drop off spots. I wish D.C. Would do this too.

    • Uber drivers are, for the most part, just straight up unqualified. I ask every driver how long they’ve been at it, and 80% of the time, the answer is two weeks or less. Reminds me of the old Seinfeld bit about how the only requirement to be a cab driver in NY is having a face. I wish there were a test and license for anyone carrying paying passengers.
      Re: cat: At least it was just barf, and not a live mouse. My cat dropped a live mouse on my bed once at 4am. I woke up because he was prancing all over the bed tormenting it.

      • *shudder* oh that sounds horrid!

      • A live mouse? Dear Lord.

      • dcgator

        I almost biked (going south on 14th, after U St) right into a woman who was putting her suitcase in the back of an Uber/Lyft/whatever that was pulled over right outside the Louis. While maneuvering past them, she was walking right into the bike lane, so I was able to tell her in passing “this is not very safe, btw.” This situation is not uncommon at all, though. At some point, I’m gonna get sideswiped by an Uber, not a bus, as I always assumed previously.

      • So many Uber drivers just don’t know where they’re going and don’t know what they’re doing. As a result, half of the time, they’re driving around watching their phones or looking for addresses (and not other cars or pedestrians). Just yesterday, I needed to catch a ride and the driver drove past me even though I was standing alone on the sidewalk closely watching his car and waving at him. He told me he was looking for the building address.

      • Emmaleigh504

        mouse in the bed is my worst nightmare. How did you survive? I would have died on the spot.

        • I like mice, but it was still an adrenaline rush at a time when I don’t want adrenaline. I chivvied the traumatized (but mostly uninjured) mousie into a trashcan and went outside to dump him. Got a very strange look from an early-rising jogger. Did not get back to sleep.

    • Uber drivers arent some specialty trained staff hired to transport people. Its anyone that drives and wants to make money so they perform like anyone else that drives in this city by doing whatever they want. They are representatives of drivers in this area. In the city its hectic, in the burbs it is not.

    • HaileUnlikely

      FWIW I don’t think it’s that people who drive for uber are worse drivers per se, but doing a little bit of driving as a side gig will almost invariably yield bad driving. Everybody makes more dumb mistakes when they drive on unfamiliar streets than when they drive in the same place they’ve been driving every day for years. Any superstar driver who is tasked with picking up their buddy curbside at rush hour on a busy street that they’ve never driven on before is fairly likely to make a dumb mistake or two and look like a doofus to all of the locals who know the street and are going about the same commute that they do every day. Even if somebody is driving in their home city, transporting passengers will invariably lead them to drive places they don’t ordinarily go. My point here isn’t to defend uber drivers’ bad driving, but rather to argue that the uber business model almost necessarily leads to drivers driving in unfamiliar areas and predictably making lots of dumb mistakes.

      • dcgator

        This is why I still prefer getting in a cab than a ride-sharing driver’s car.

        • Nope, I’d much rather deal with a Lyft/ride-sharing driver who is able to navigate where to go in a timely manner… last time I got in a DC cab, he asked ME to navigate for HIM on where to go because most of them are not using gps. Extremely irritating, I don’t want or need to direct you on where to go block by block..

    • My cat had a very distinctive meow that I associated with him being about to throw up (or if we were in the yard, “I need to go inside to find an oriental rug”, in the car coming back from the vet “pull over here”). When he made this sound indoors, it usually gave me enough time to grab a newspaper to place between his face and the oriental rug. When I was asleep, and it didn’t happen often, he would generally be on the hall rug. He did have an odd, and generally ineffective, method of trying to wake me, which was to sit on the floor near the bed, and stare at me, although if that didn’t work, he would jump up and nudge me.

      • LOL @ needing to find an oriental rug to barf on. Why do they do that??

        • I have no verification, but have heard that this is in case anything they hork up is still alive, easier to keep hold of it. Same reason dogs like to eat their treats on a soft surface, this way it can’t slip away. Both dogs and cats historically caught and ate live stuff…

  • I Was Gifted These Pickles

    Rant: My company is doing layoffs today. It’s brutal.
    Rave: I still have my job.

  • Rant: Rough start to the morning. Baby cried all the way to the metro. Stroller toppled over when I picked him up to soothe him. Metro delays meant that I was late despite leaving the house on time.
    Rant: I am in a foul mood. Going to try very hard to readjust my attitude.

    • Ugh, I’m sorry! We had a rough morning as well. Perhaps something is in the air. I just really hope that we don’t have a stomach bug to contend with–there’s a really really nasty one going around that took out the entire family of a colleague–and landed her in the ER to get fluids and zofran. YUCK!

      • I think everyone around here had the stomach bug (my kid had a very mild one a number of weeks ago). People are out for weeks and need ER fluids. We actually keep zofran in the house now. It’s a lifesaver. I’d rather my kid throw up to get the gross out but at night, it’s much easier.

        • Yikes. Is zofran OTC?
          Btw–I don’t think I’ve seen posts from you in awhile–how are you doing these days?

          • No we have my SIL call in a Rx for us just to have on hand. It’s helpful.
            We’re good. Busy. I’m in DC all the time for work. A blessing and a curse!

  • topscallop

    Rave: job interview tomorrow
    Rant: super nervous about it
    Rant: also nervous about what to tell my colleagues and when, if the interview goes well
    Rave: sticking to my workout plan fairly well, now I just need to moderate the sweets intake
    Rant: feeling kind of down lately and like I’m not good at anything
    Rant: London attack, health care bill, Gorsuch (the fact that the Supreme Court UNANIMOUSLY overturned his ruling on disability education should tell Congress something but I am not optimistic)
    Rave: at least the weather is supposed to warm up soon

    • Don’t tell them anything until you have accepted an offer. A good interview isn’t a new job, so I’d rather not let the car out prematurely. Two weeks notice seems appropriate, but you could of course do more.

    • I am going to part ways with fellow liberals on Gorsuch. He is eminently qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice, and the fact that I don’t agree with him on most things doesn’t change that. Merrick Garland should be on the bench, and if the Democrats could pull of an obstructionist ploy like McConnell did to keep him off the bench, they would, and I’d be all for it. But they can’t. That’s a political issue, though. There is no path to victory on this.

      • I don’t know enough to have a strong opinion, but this is my impression. Assuming that he is as qualified as I understand him to be, I absolutely agree.

      • binntp

        I have to agree. If I have to have a justice who does not share my opinion, I want one who does actually know how to thoroughly examine the law & legal precedent, and not come into arguments with preconceived ideas of what the final ruling should be.

        • Yup. There were plenty of judges on Trump’s two lists who, while not technically unqualified, are not thoughtful, and do not put in the kind of care and work we need from a Supreme Court justice. One quibble, though – each and every judge at this level has preconceived ideas about the outcome of cases, because they have a history of opinions and rulings that influence their decisions.
          And I just saw an update the Democrats plan to filibuster the nomination. Apparently, they couldn’t find any windmills, horses or lances to occupy their time. Also, it’s a terrible idea to galvanize the GOP Senators in advance of the health care bill. I hate it when we play checkers and the other side plays chess.

      • HaileUnlikely

        Agreed. Furthermore, in the event that they do not confirm Gorsuch, the probability of getting somebody “better” (under any notion of “better” that those who oppose Gorsuch might buy) is about zero.

      • I think this is one the Dems can’t win, and should not waste their energy on. 45 could have given us a much, much worse nominee, so we should hold our nose and move on.
        On a related note, every time I see someone mention impeachment I pull an eye muscle from rolling them so hard. We couldn’t block DeVos or Sessions, FFS. Where are we going to find a supermajority to impeach??

        • Agree on all counts. A great politician/world leader once said that politics is the art of the possible. It should be. Unfortunately, for many leaders on both sides it has become the art of playing to the base, whether to ensure that they don’t get a primary challenge in their gerrymandered districts (every House member, but especially the GOP ones), or setting up the campaign for their next job (looking at you, Elizabeth Warren, Ted Cruz, and Cory Booker), or just because they’ve spent their whole lives being contrarian and don’t see any need to change (hello, Senator Sanders).

      • I disagree. I think it’s smart politics to attempt to filibuster, and force McConnell to play his hand. He’s gonna get confirmed; so why not fight? Why not show your base you hear them and feel their energy? The democratic base wants a fight. What good does it do to capitulate, just like D’s normally do? The victory here is not keeping Gorsuch off the bench; the victory is continuing to stoke the democratic fire and demonstrate unity and a willingness to fight for principles. I think capitulation, or trusting McC’s deal, is going to damper enthusiasm in very important ways. I also disagree that it will galvanize R Senators in advance of the healthcare bill…the logic being: the D’s filibustered our supreme court nominee but we’ll stick it to them by voting on this bill we already don’t like….?

        • Political energy is finite, simply because it takes time, and I’ve yet to meet a politically-engaged person who says “I have all the time in the world for this.”
          Dems need to pick their battles and fight them consistently and ferociously, rather than being mad for a day about whatever’s on the front page. We can completely ignore the less-catastrophic moves, or issues where we have zero leverage, and force the Rs to engage on our terms.
          Let’s say a miracle occurs and Gorsuch doesn’t make it onto the court. Do you imagine that the next nominee will be better?

        • “He’s gonna get confirmed; so why not fight?”
          Because doing so will further damage the institution and customs of the Senate, which are very important bulwarks against some of the very odious ideas that crop up from time to time, particularly from this gerrymandered GOP House (and the Democrats bear as much responsibility for the diminution of the Senate as the GOP does). Because it’s more important to save their powder for battles that can be won. Because energizing the base is generally a terrible reason to do anything, on either side – what the base wants is usually a combination of the wholly unrealistic and of terrible policy. Because with this President, there is absolutely no need to go take doomed positions ala the Gates of Fire to energize the base – we can reliable count on Trump and his administration to “stoke the democratic fire.” Because someone has to take the lead on responsible governance.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Agreed. One of my laments for the last several years is that D’s seem to value expressing themselves more than they value actually being effective. I think that’s a big part of why we are where we are today. Unless I am misunderstanding, the above seems to be an explicit call to put self-expression ahead of effectiveness.

          • I think we fundamentally disagree on a critical point. I think McConnell damaged the institutions and customs of the Senate, and Ds fighting it is the main way they can attempt to protect said institutions. I think capitulating will justify McConnell’s moves, and that’s not okay. I think it also feeds right in to his strategy as well, and that’s definitely not okay. I also think it will energize the base against sitting Ds if they don’t fight, particularly given the rage against the potential Russia stuff. D’s very rarely do anything based on the energy of their base, which I could argue is why they are in the minority. They have continually taken the lead on responsible governance and yet still lose. I’m not trying to advocate for a permanent policy of party over country…but this case seems justified to me. And I’ll be honest, I would have agreed with you on this a few weeks ago, but have since changed my mind (largely from listening to Pod Save America). Fighting for what is right is worth it, even if it means losing, in this case.

          • Haile, it’s an explicit call to put principle ahead of effectiveness. I also don’t see where D’s value expressing themselves, given the party’s total inability to message coherently since at least 2009.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I didn’t say they were expressing themselves effectively, just that they appeared to prioritize self-expression over effectiveness. A lot of it, in my opinion, is gratuitous self-expression, which is very different from persuasive speech. As one of Bill Clinton’s advisors famously put it, “If you say three things, you don’t say anything.” (I don’t recall his name, but the one who got Bill Clinton saying “It’s the economy, stupid.”)

          • HaileUnlikely

            Relatedly, filibustering Gorsuch looks more like what I called “gratuitous self-expression” to me. What is the principle that this ostensibly puts ahead of effectiveness? An eye for an eye? (I.e., “You denied us Justice Garland, so now it’s our turn?”) I just don’t see any serious rational basis for opposing him (aside from “an eye for an eye”), and even if you disagree with me on that, it is a virtual certainty that if Gorsuch’s confirmation is successfully blocked, we’ll end up with another Trump-nominated justice who is much much worse than the nominee in question at the present time. This isn’t just putting self-expression (or “principle” if you wish) ahead of effectiveness, this is risking not only failing to accomplish anything but actually making all of us much much worse off, for the sake of giving a bunch of short-sited angry people something to high-five each other about at home (“Yeah, we blocked him!”)

          • I agree that McConnell damaged the customs of the Senate (though not necessarily the Senate as an institution), by not confirming Garland. It was a bold, brilliant, infuriating political maneuver that paid off in spades, by someone why accurately assessed that he and his caucus would not pay a political price for it. It also was incredibly irresponsible. Reid, on the other hand, put short term gain over long term stability by changing the rules of the Senate to eliminate the filibuster for judicial nominations. That was FAR more damaging, and Democrats are reaping the whirlwind of that decision now. There’s more than enough blame to go around. If you think there’s only blame on one side, you’re allowing partisanship to blind you.
            Also, how on earth will “capitulating” hurt anything? Gorsuch will be confirmed. The only question is whether the filibuster will be further degraded in the process. Discretion is the better part of valor, live to fight another day, etc. . . . they may be clichés, but that’s because they are so often accurate.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Regarding the merit of “fighting for what is right, even if it means losing,” I think this poses an interesting dilemma. I can do that, and I can agree to accept the consequences if it means I get fired, or go to jail, or whatever. My wife, our parents, our cats, etc., would also be effected to a degree, but given my standing in life, I”m in a position to internalize most of the fallout of making such a decision for myself. In contrast, when our elected officials decide to “fight for what is right, even if it means losing,” a lot of people who didn’t sign on to that battle and can ill-afford the price of losing will bear the brunt of the costs. How should that influence the decision of whether to take up that fight, since it is right, even though it might mean losing? I don’t have an answer; I just mean that I think this is a lot more complicated than, say, me standing up to my boss or similar.

    • HaileUnlikely

      FWIW I think what yesterday’s Supreme Court decision and Judge Gorsuch’s previous ruling on the same case should tell us is that being a circuit judge is a really tough and thankless job, when what the judge is tasked with doing is applying a law that obviously sucks. One of the other judges on a three judge panel for the case that the Supreme Court just overturned, Mary Briscoe, was appointed by Bill Clinton. If that decision makes Gorsuch a bad judge or a bad person, then it makes her a bad judge and/or bad person too. Does anybody really believe that? What I see there is good judges faithfully executing a job that sometimes really blows.

      • And that’s precisely the reason Gorsuch stated that a good judge is never going to like all his decisions.

  • Rave: Day four of morning yoga.
    Rant: May have made the wrong call on sending mtpkiddo to school, especially since her brother threw up on his way to daycare and so now someone will be home today anyhow. (she was just extra prone to meltdowns and mentioned a sore throat, but also hasn’t been sleeping well–so it’s hard to tell what the culprit is on that one)
    Rave: My parents able to zoom into town to hang out with one or both kids today. So grateful for that. Also grateful for neighborhood friends who can help with school pick up when I unexpectedly get held up at work last minute, like I did yesterday. So many blessings in my life.
    Rave: Apparently fellow passengers jumped into action to help mtpwife after mtpbaby got sick all over them both.
    Rant: Apparently a 19-yo Israeli was behind many of the JCC/Jewish school bomb threats. WTF????

    • Oh man, I hope the little guy feels better (and that the stomach plague doesn’t hit everyone in your house).

      • Thank you–me too! It’s unclear if he’s sick or something funny happened. Supposedly he was quieter than usual yesterday at daycare, but we didn’t learn that until this morning. He seemed totally himself last night and this morning other than having to wake him up–somewhat unusual, but happens from time to time. I guess time will tell….

  • Rant: Nausea, exhaustion, and general discomfort.
    Rant: Family friends getting pregnant and telling everyone at 6 weeks.
    Rant: Trying to hold onto it to be sure – I’m only 8 weeks now.
    Rant/Rave: Definitely want this baby but can’t get excited or overjoyed as I fear there’s too much standing in my way to getting a healthy baby out of this.

    • you don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but is there a reason for you to think your baby wouldn’t be ok? Is there a genetic concern, chronic health problem or history of miscarriage? Anyway, I’m rooting for you, internet stranger! Hang in there!

      • Thanks so much. High risk pregnancy because of past medical concerns (blood clot) – first try, and pregnancy. I got pregnant really quick and in the first 8 weeks have had significant medical concerns as well as professional complications that make it difficult for me to put myself in a safe place for keeping this pregnancy. Plus my mom lost many babies (miscarriages and still births) due to environmental issues so a history of not seeing healthy babies. Some of it is also that I just can’t celebrate things until they’re fully confirmed so I’m a bit of a worrier.Thanks for rooting for me!

        • Anon – PLEASE consider a supportive group. Prenatal yoga, really, helps. You’re with other women with similar concerns. The group at Tranquil Space is good – Anne the instructor used to be a midwife. I loved it. I’m a worrier too – I highly recommend it. And I hate yoga.

    • I’ve been in your position – try to celebrate yourself or tell one trusted person. I told my mom (and husband obv) because we were doing IVF and couldn’t imagine going at it alone. I even had a horribly low beta right away and kept thinking it wouldn’t work. It’s very hard. Once you’re in a comfortable position, I really recommend therapy with someone who specializes in pregnant women. It can help you transition after birth or have someone listen to you when you feel you can’t talk to anyone else. Good luck!

      • just to add on to this–I saw someone for PPA several years ago who specializes in women’s issues, especially surrounding fertility/pregnancy/post-partum/etc. She doesn’t take insurance but she’s fantastic. Let me know if you’d like her name.

        • not taking insurance was a big thing for me. I was a new mom suffering from PPD/PPA/PTSD and couldn’t find anyone that I was willing to see because spending the money out of pocket made me feel worse. It’s ridiculous.

          • It’s a huge burden, for sure. But my understanding is that insurance companies just aren’t willing to pay mental health providers nearly enough–so they can’t afford to take insurance. My cousin is a clinical social worker and eventually had to stop accepting various types of insurance because if people sent the claim in after the fact, they were reimbursed more than she would get paid through insurance. Lack of mental health parity is a huge issue across all insurance types.

          • Like everything else, this is a balancing act. Increased reimbursements for mental health professionals comes from either reducing other benefits, or increasing premiums. It’s a tough nut to crack.

          • This is exactly it. Insurance companies make it very difficult for mental health providers. Having said that, every single mental health care provider I know that does not accept insurance has sliding scale services. When I was seeking mental health care for my daughter’s anxiety, they told me the cost and told me that if I could not afford it, they would work with me. Keep in mind, the vast majority of people who work in healthcare – in any field within the industry – go into it to help people. They WANT to help people. You just have to ask for it. (which, I recognize can be hard)

          • I’m sure they go in to help people, but the anxiety associated with paying the bill on top of already existing problems means fewer people ask for help. It’s how it is. I went to a center here that specializes in PPD and it was OOP – still $40 a visit every week which adds up. So people without resources suffer. Women who already tend not to ask for help.

          • I agree, it’s a Catch 22. Just don’t blame the providers. Blame the insurance companies.

      • Thanks for the support and the confirmation. I can’t share with my mom yet because she has lost many babies (see comment above) and I don’t want to get her hopes up if I can’t have a healthy pregnancy. But then it means I’m lying to her which is difficult. Thanks for the suggestion on therapy. I should, you’re right. I’ve never seen someone and could probably really benefit.

        • I obviously don’t know the specifics here. But in my uninformed opinion, while your concern for your mother’s feeling is laudable, your first priority needs to be your own well-being. If that means leaning on your mother, even if she might end up being upset by it, that’s what it means. Good luck.

        • So – FWIW – my mother lost a full term birth and almost died. She still knew and it gave me a LOT of perspective. Lots of women in my birthing class were like “omg the worst thing ever would be a c section”. There I am thinking well, no…that’s definitely not the worst thing. Her experiences gave me good perspective and she was still happy. If you have a good relationship with her, I don’t think your mother needs to be handled this way – she will be a good shoulder. “hopes up” still means being a positive influence. And even if something happens, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy pregnancy. the healthiest people have complications (the thin lady in my moms group had GD) and the people who seem unhealthy can be complication free (me! until GW and Dr. Metz f’d up my delivery…). Not trying to make you feel better, just reassure you – and hopefully your mom can be a positive influence during this time.

          • I’m so sorry about what your mom went through and also glad to know she was support for you. I feel like my mom knows a lot but also has been through so much – brother died at one week old after a traumatic emergency C-section, four miscarriages and 2 still births. I know this news would bring her incredible joy but also much consternation. As I mentioned above I’ve had to balance professional concerns with pregnancy concerns that she may not agree with and my doctors are wary about and I really don’t want to fight about it. Your perspective on her being a positive influence and a good shoulder is really valuable. I need to think that through. My mother does not hold secrets well so asking her to not tell anyone would be so incredibly difficult for her. So protect her, or protect me, or share openly and let what may be just be…I’m not sure which way to go.

          • I think J’s points are well made and very valid. That said, I understand your concerns with her making comments and judgments about your professional decisions, and can totally understand keeping it to yourself for awhile to protect yourself. I hope you have someone besides your partner to confide in judgment-free–that can be very helpful.

    • Sending hugs and prayers. One day at a time. For now, you are pregnant, and try to hold on to that if you can.

    • I’ll also add that the whole telling people early is a cultural difference. Most Jews don’t do this so when people I know are like “I’m pregnant! 4 weeks along!” I’m very shocked. It’s normal to wait on the news until you’re comfortable. Very normal.

      • I agree with this. I waited 20 weeks to tell part of my family although closest friends knew very early. I am always shocked when people announce far and wide early in their pregnancies.

        • Yes – I feel more comfortable waiting until later. And then I hear people talking about how important it is to have people around you who you can turn to to assuage fears or sadness if you do miscarry early on. Also – don’t want the whole facebook thing or instagram announcement. But how do you get away from lying outright to people? They have suspicions and people say things (like oh, not drinking? Are you pregnant?) – is it ok to just deflect the question or outright lie and say no…?

        • Totally ok to lie/deflect/whatever. No one should ever ask if your pregnant for a variety of reasons. (aside from doctors wrt medical stuff) If it helps, come up with stock answers or ways of being deceptive in a simple way (asking a bartender to give you an alcohol-free “cocktail”, grabbing a beer & nursing it for an entire event w/o really drinking/drinking much, etc…) just to make it easier, but absolutely ok to do what you need to do to be comfortable and not share more than you want to.

          • This. I ordered a lot of tonic and lime at the bar or I would sip a beer and then put it down.

            And if people ask if you’re pregnant, you can just smile and tell them, “You’ll be the first to know” or “Why do you ask?” Channel your best Carolyn Hax to shut them down.

    • I hear you. My friend told me he and his wife were expecting around 8 weeks and I thought it was kind of strange to reveal it so early, especially since it’s her that’s preg, not him. I also have a fear about getting pregnant/having a healthy baby, but mine is kind of irrational and rooted in my anxiety.

  • Brutal headache for no reason I can tell. Is this allergies?

    • Could be. I’ve had allergy-related headaches that closely resemble migraines (located on one side of the head, etc.). Try taking an antihistamine and decongestant (even if you don’t feel congested) and see if that helps.

      • I’ve also been having weather headaches every time the temperature drops dozens of degrees like it’s been doing the past couple weeks…. -_- It could be that, too.

        • I’ve been having an unusual number of “I can’t tell if this is a migraine or an allergy headache, so I’ll take the medicines for both” over the past several weeks — I’d been wondering if other people were running into this too.

      • I’ve been having the exact same headaches on and off for the last ten days, textdoc. Need to get more antihistamine…

    • HaileUnlikely

      I wouldn’t bet against it. Yesterday was the highest pollen day of the year so far per pollen.com; today is very slightly better but not much. The next few days will be worse.

    • skj84

      Probably. Sinus headache took me out on Saturday. I took a Zyrtec, went to bed early and felt much better the next morning.

  • RANT: “The U.S. Senate just voted 52-47 to allow barbaric hunting tactics such as killing hibernating bear families in their dens…” This also includes luring bears with food to shoot them at point blank range, and using steel traps.
    Rant: Two more coworkers out sick today…this makes 8 out of 12 who’ve been stricken. It’s only a matter of time before it comes for me…
    Rant: PMS. TMI.
    Rave: Got my hair cut last night and feeling much better! Bangs are a bit too short but oh well, they’ll grow.

    • GOD! I wish I could throw those senators in some steel traps, see how they like it! Why are people awful?! I can understand allowing hunting, to an extent, in many rural areas, but WTF?! Why mess with a hibernating bear family?!

    • I get hunting. The stalking, the patience, the marksmanship… it takes skill. And the skill gets you food.
      But what kind of a pathetic “sportsman” shoots a hibernating animal? What skill is required, and what is the result? Do people eat bear?

  • Rant: Still lots of stress surrounding family issues.
    Rant: Have been trying to convert my Virgin America points to Alaska Airlines points using their website that they sent in an email several weeks ago and it’s not working. Sent an email to customer service but they said they can’t help via email. Tried calling Customer Service this morning when I wasn’t busy but they’re on pacific time (of course). Is anyone else having problems with this?
    Rave: It’s my night for TV watching! YAY!

  • Rave: The Future is Female event last night and all the talented actors, writers, directors (skj!)
    Rant: This week has been dragging – I thought Tuesday should have been Friday
    Rant: Not sleeping well, back is achy
    Rave: Still have a job, health insurance, food in the refrigerator and a snuggle pup

  • Rant: Work tomfoolery. Turns out, partners are making assumptions to my office administrator as well as upper management in our home office about me (or conveniently leaving significant portions out that shows me in a positive light) without talking to me about it first. I’m doing nothing wrong, and that can be proven (and my office administrator laughed when she heard the “story”) but I find it awfully ridiculous, and I don’t know what I am supposed to do about it. (also, aren’t they supposed to be focusing on their jobs, and why are they so concerned about what I do to help out other people’s practice groups?)

    Rave: However I have spoken up about the Leader of the Pack and how I feel that person is ineffective in that role (and cited many examples as to why that might be, that can be backed up with actual facts). I don’t know if that will get me anywhere, but I do know I am not the only (at least staff) person who feels this way, nor am I the only person who has mentioned it before (and others will mention it again). It feels good that I’m finally sticking up for myself and my colleagues but ultimately, maybe it’ll get me fired, and then what?

    Query: a few friends of mine who are familliar with HR said that this is an incredibly toxic and potentially discriminatory work environment, and that the EEOC might want to learn more about it (specifically the Leader of the Pack) — I don’t like making idle threats, though. Has anyone ever made an EEOC complaint before?

    • Have you thought about talking to an employment lawyer? That might be the first step in considering an EEOC complaint. I can suggest a couple smaller plaintiff side employment firms in DC if you are interested.

  • Revel: two job interviews this weekend!
    Revel: picking up my bike tonight. I’m excited to get my butt back in shape.
    Revel: I work with some great little people

  • Rave: Losing weight like crazy.
    Rave: Pants are noticeably looser.
    Rant: Too much work not enough gym time.
    Rant/rave: Weekend plans are up in the air.

  • Kind of an odd question: Where do you draw the line between friendship and politics/political donations? I have an old friend with whom I do not share *any* political views. He ran for Congress last year, in a district in which the GOP nomination is effectively the election. After he got the nomination, it was a foregone conclusion he’d win the general election, and in a bad year for the GOP, he won by more than 15%. I made a modest donation to his campaign, rationalized by the thought that if it was a close race I wouldn’t have made the same decision. Curious what others would have done?

    • I would not have contributed. My friendship should not be dependent upon a political contribution, and if it was implied in any way, shape, or form that it was, it would end the friendship. I do not contribute to any cause that I do not support. I know others on the other side who do the same, including people who refuse to support the March of Dimes because they pay for stem cell research.

      • I didn’t mean to imply that the friendship was dependent on a donation; it wasn’t.

        • So what motivated you to donate?

          • He’s an old friend. That’s really it.
            I admit, I don’t have a good answer for those who ask about friends selling junk that I neither need nor want, and how that’s different. (I don’t really run into that, but my wife does.) I somehow feel like its different, but I can’t explain why. More rationalization, perhaps.

          • I guess what confuses me is that you are conflicted yet defensive. If you feel bad for donating (and I think you do, which is why you get grumpy when you see him on the news), I think you should acknowledge it, learn from it, and move on. We don’t have to support everything or everyone, and in my honest opinion, supporting an old friend is not a good enough reason to support the GOP. I suspect that deep down you feel the same way, and this is why you are conflicted.

    • Isn’t donating money to a campaign that has political views that you dont agree with essentially contributing to the advancement of said views? You spent money to support something you do not believe in. If you wanted to support your friend, you could have done so in a different manner. Maybe take him/her out for a bee/dinner celebration had he/she won the election to celebrate the personal achievement but essentially you funded views you dont agree with.

      • “Isn’t donating money to a campaign that has political views that you don’t agree with essentially contributing to the advancement of said views?”
        Maybe, but as I said, the outcome of the election was a foregone conclusion. My donation literally changed nothing.

        • So why donate if he was already going to win?

          • I guess your conscience wanted to help a friend but like stated above, I would have done so in a different way or not at all.

        • If you actually believed your donation changed nothing then I don’t think you’d be that bothered by it, imho. Like others, I try to donate only to causes I believe in, so I likely wouldn’t have made the dollar contribution, but maybe would have tried to be a supportive friend in other ways.

          • Like I said, it was over 15 points. I am confident that my small donation was irrelevant to the outcome. But I will say, when I see him on CNN, or read an article about his positions on issues (both national and local) I get grumpy.

          • I think this is something you can learn from. You supported him because you wanted to support a friend. In retrospect, you realize that you’re not thrilled to have supported ideas that you don’t support. You can make a different choice next time and hopefully feel better for it. That doesn’t make the first a “bad” choice, per se–you learned something about yourself from it. We all learn by doing.

          • And–just to clarify–I don’t think you did something “bad” or “wrong”. I can understand the idea of supporting a friend, particularly given the particulars, and thinking people can disagree in this arena. I’m responding to your apparent misgivings at having done so.

          • I meant that the mere fact that you are questioning your donation means it did change something for you, internally; not that it changed anything about the race itself.

    • Having no legislative representation, my money is the strongest political statement I can make. I would only give money to causes and candidates that I am sure are exactly right for the society I want to live in.
      I would not have donated to a GOP campaign, regardless of my relationship with the candidate.

      • “I would only give money to causes and candidates that I am sure are exactly right for the society I want to live in.”
        Exactly right? If I had that standard, I’d never make any donations. That said, this wasn’t so much “not exactly on all fours” as “diametrically opposed.”
        I apologize if I am coming off as defensive about this – it’s only because I am. As you may have guessed, I have been having mixed feelings about this lately.

    • Hmm — good question. In your position, I might have done the same and rationalized it the same way… but I don’t think you should feel obligated to donate just because he’s a friend.
      Aside from the differing-politics factor… surely friends shouldn’t be expected to prop up friends’ careers financially? Imagine if he were an Amway dealer or something.

      • +1 – Just because you’re friends doesn’t mean you need to give him money. For anything. There are people in my life that I love and try to support, but not by participating in their LulaRoe parties or their R&F events…..

      • “Aside from the differing-politics factor… surely friends shouldn’t be expected to prop up friends’ careers financially? Imagine if he were an Amway dealer or something.”

        Ugh, related to that–apparently some “friends” DO think you should prop up their careers financially. All the lularoe, R+F, makeup, you name it people on my FB are always posting the “you should support my small business because you’re supporting my family, providing money for dance lessons, a night out rather than a fat pay check for a CEO.” Umm no, I support neither because I don’t buy 50 pairs of patterned leggings or lash plumpers.

  • Rave: It’s my last day at my miserable, toxic job and I’m leaving in just one hour! I know there’s actually so much to rant about today from my quick skim of the news but for at least today, I just need to feel immense gratitude for the opportunity to get out and the potential my new job creates for my long term career/personal trajectory.

  • Rave: Husband is home!
    Rant: Dinner guests tomorrow night – trying to get excited about hosting but really just want to relax and sleep.
    Rave: Chocolate chip banana bread with peanut butter and left over spaghetti and meatballs.
    Rant: Trying hard to juggle supporting my mom post surgery now from afar. And contemplating heading back down this weekend to support her but really really also want to just have a weekend at home…

    • Rant: Thesis advisor, mentor, and professor passed away after an illness. I still have a draft e-mail that I wanted to send to him to thank him for all he did for me. He was a great person.

  • Rant-ish Query: I am Facebook “friends” with a former coworker, although we never worked together directly, and don’t actually have a relationship beyond being former acquaintances. Said person has posted photos and status updates over the years, some of which reference or include her older brother, who I totally have a stranger crush on. Although I’m sure I shouldn’t speculate, it doesn’t seem as though he’s attached. I can’t see any way that doesn’t seem creepy as all get out to contact my former coworker and tell her I would like to get a cup of coffee with her brother who doesn’t know I exist. Is the consensus that I’m SOL, or would anyone here do something bold and just reach out to her?

    • Go for it. What do you have to lose?

      • Well, nothing. Other than the possibility that I come off like a complete stalker who’s also desperate enough to go this route. But, to me it also seems so much more rational than only meeting total strangers on tinder. Hmmm.

        • Asking someone out because they’re attractive isn’t desperate. Isn’t that how most relationships start? Maybe you know more on an app, but people meet on the street or online all the time.

    • Hahaha… I have no advice here, but I have to admit this is an amazing question.
      Someone who is Stranger Crushing on a Random Guy Who was on Songbyrd’s Instagram the Other Day

      • The struggle is real!! I suspect there’s a totally normal/nice way to go about reaching out to her, and I can probably make it seem more low key than it feels. It’s crossed my mind probably a half dozen times over the last three years or so, so part of me feels like I just need to put it out there so I can stop coming back to it.
        Excellent use of punctuation. 🙂 If that person has a public profile, you should totally follow their account.

        • I would but songbyrd didn’t tag them! Hahaha… #thestruggle
          Good luck with reaching out! I’m sure you’ll do fine and if anything the sister will probably think it’s cute rather than creepy. If I had a brother I know I’d find it pretty hysterical in a cute way. Keep us posted!

          • Think about it this way – people follow complete strangers on instagram all the time! I think that’s your cover…and you should do it!
            Thank you for the vote of confidence!!

    • dcgator


    • Reach out. No different than getting setup, but you’re doing your own set up. If someone came to me to meet my friend, brother, etc, I’d be all for it if they’re single and the right orientation.

      • This was originally my thinking, but then I asked my best friend to run the idea by her boyfriend (who also has a sister) to see how he thought he or his sister would feel if someone had approached either of them in this situation. His opinion was that he didn’t see how it *wouldn’t* seem weird to either of them. But, he’s also not the type of person I would ever be interested in, so…

    • Facebook is meant for making random connections. Send the former co-worker a message via Facebook, and just say “Hey Mary, saw that picture of you and your brother the other day. You are looking great. And, I must say your brother is handsome! If he’s single, please pass my comment on. :)”

      I mean, you have nothing to lose. And, if she doesn’t respond, pass on, or thinks poorly of your message, no harm done.

      • Brilliant. This sounds like exactly the right approach. Thank you for the suggestion! I was having such a struggle about what kind of message to send.

        • This is the right move, and you can (but don’t need to) couch it with self-effacing “Hey, was down a Facebook rabbithole…” or “This is random, but” type statements…though again you don’t need to.

          B’s point is right, and this is how I analyze a lot of decisions: comparing risk. The downside risk of reaching out and a person you don’t care that much about thinking you’re weird for a day or two is pretty low (and not guaranteed). The downside risk of not doing it: missing out on a potentially really great relationship, is way riskier than this acquaintance thinking you’re weird for a few days. Put another way: the potential upside of the situation (love at first sight, marriage, twins, second home on the lake, etc.) far outweighs that risk.

  • skj84

    Rant: Made a mistake at work. Not a huge thing, but I always beat myself up when things go wrong.
    Rant: passed over for a creator grant. Well the chance to pitch. I really wanted this, and I’m so bummed.
    Rave: I had a good workout this morning. and good breakfast.

  • Rant-ish: Has anyone ever done the Soupergirl “cleanse”? I’m four days in and finding it rather boring. I thought it would be a nice, healthy way for me to not have to worry about making meals for a week, but I’m hungry and…emitting fiber…all the time. Most of the soups seem to bee 40% onion. Anyone have the same experience?

    • Andie302

      Did you read the experience of Bonnie Benwick in the Post when she did it earlier this year? I haven’t tried it, but your experience sounds similar to hers. It was in weekly installments along with 4 or 5 other diet types by other staff members right at the new year.

      • Thanks, I’ll definitely take a look at the articles. TKPK, I’ve really enjoyed two out of the fourteen soups I’ve had so far. That’s…saying something. The others were fine. Anon Spock, I knew that there would be a lot of fiber, but that doesn’t make it any more pleasant. Agreed that it was a learning experience. One I won’t repeat.

        • Your comment seemed to touch on normalcy rather than enjoyment. I thought maybe you missed the high fiber aspect, so that side effect would be unexpected.
          I’d look into some of the other meal deliveries services. Power supply does a range of meals from paleo to vegetarian. They were tasty.
          Also upping your fiber a bit in your normal meals may help to make that side effect less dramatic as your body will be more used to it.

    • I walk by Soupergirl everyday and it always smells so good. Every time I decide to give it another try, nothing but bland disappointment.

    • Website says soups are high fiber….not sure how you’d stop your body from processing that fiber.
      I don’t envision a soup being terribly filling esp. If you’re used to eating more calories per day.
      Chalk it up as a learning experience.

  • Andie302

    Rave: They are fixing Rhode Island Avenue in Shaw by where we live. It’s annoying for a few days, but it was in such bad shape on the blocks that they are fixing – this is going to be a huge improvement!
    Funny: Someone left us an incoherent hand written note last night on our door about rent, the number of people in the house, and most amusingly “it time for sex”
    Rant: “It time for sex” is going to be a joke for wayyyyy too long
    Triple rave: Moving things into the Cambridge house tomorrow – aka establishing what I’ve forgotten to purchase so far since last May when I bought the place and started hoarding largely useless decorative items while still not buying a coffee pot or silverware!

  • houseintherear

    Rave: On month two of the migraine diet and plan from “Heal Your Headache.” Only one migraine, last week, which lasted less than a day (my normal ones were 3-4 days). I’m sad I waited this long to get my life back. It feels amazing to be pain-free… I can plan ahead now, sleep full nights, not be grumpy all the time… yay!

    Rant: There is a rodent running around in the ceiling of my classroom. I mentioned it to our bldg services manager and she asked if I’m freaked out, I said no I’m just worried for the little guy! She thinks I’m nuts now.

  • Rant: When you’re on the west coast by the time you get up and into the office RRRR is well underway.
    Rant: Trunk Club spoiled me. I ordered some clothes from Banana Republic and when they came I looked at them and thought ugh the quality is horrid. Sigh.
    Rave: There was actual sun in Seattle this morning.

Comments are closed.