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“Some hooligan had opened the OJ – This used to be such a great country. I don’t know what happened.”

by Prince Of Petworth July 6, 2015 at 2:25 pm 35 Comments

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“Dear PoPville,

Picture it: the Fourth the July 2015. I woke up, shuffled what’s-his-name out of my room so I could plan brunch with my loved ones, and got excited to celebrate America the way Jesus intended: with mimosas.

We popped on over to our local Safeway, the one by the Georgia Ave metro. We gathered supplies and merrily sauntered back to our apartment to put on some Dolly Parton and make a scrumptious brunch. For America.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a bottle of delicious orange juice with a broken seal. Some hooligan had opened the OJ, removed the protective safety seal, and did God-knows-what with it before putting it back on the shelf.

And this isn’t the first time it has happened! I bought tainted crunchy peanut butter once too. I don’t know why people are tampering with the food at Safeway, but shoppers should be extra careful to make sure the products they’re buying haven’t been opened by some roving pack of miscreants.

This used to be such a great country. I don’t know what happened.

Happy 4th! 🇺🇸👏🏼🇺🇸👏🏼🇺🇸”

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