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  • Ron

    Searching for the orphanage.

  • Matt

    “My God, a moment of bliss. Why, isn’t that enough for a whole lifetime?”
    ― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

    Or

    Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one.
    – Elizabeth Gilbert

  • DCRach

    Rant: what do you mean there are two 1600 Pennsylvania Ave’s?? What do NW and NE mean??
    Rave: often the small things in life – like lamp posts – can make or break a family vacation

  • Beau

    “If I shake it, maybe familial love will happen.”

  • Blithe

    “Jack and the Streetlight” AKA “Jack and the Beanstalk – the Urban Version”.

  • Anonymoose

    “Search map “kid’s hobby near Washington D.C.,” taking him to those pole dancing classes was pretty short sighted!”

  • Formerly Broken jaw

    Little Atticus was slowly realizing that his parents had lied when they said they had brought him to the Lego Museum.

  • dcd

    The sun truly has set on the British empire.

  • Just say no to drugs (except Ritalin, that one’s totally OK).

    • andy2

      +1000

  • CAS

    They had only turned their backs for one minute, but immediately regretted taking him to see The Amazing Spiderman 2.

  • Belmont

    Mommy, what’s that girl doing and can I try?

  • Sarah

    I love lamp.

    • Becks

      +100

  • Anonymous

    68. Child-sized rats

    • Anonymous

      68. Child-sized rats

  • Mike

    Upon finishing Vice’s recent article on Washington, DC, Junior decided to destroy the place, one lamppost at a time.

  • Check the map again, that can’t be the Washington monument.

    • dcgator

      my favorite, thus far

    • A

      +1

    • Anonymous

      +1

  • Anonymous

    They thought, if lucky, they may spot the President. Instead, they almost caught the elusive lamp post assaulter.

  • wesindc

    My god its full of stars.

  • Georgia Ave

    “Honey, which Metro station escalators haven’t we blocked the left side of yet?”

  • dcgator

    “No, O Lamppost God! Not another Smithsonian!”

    • Emilie504

      my favorite

  • andy2

    I want to go to there

    • Emilie504

      2nd fave

  • Anonymous

    “It’s not easy being drunk all the time. Everyone would do it if it were easy.”

  • jim_ed

    “Hey Billy, I bet you didn’t know Metro prints its maps out of repurposed circus animals, did you?”

    “Cant we just talk about humping this lamp???”

  • Anonymous

    While mom and dad try to figure out where they are so they can report a man with a expensive telescopic lens to Popville, Junior on the other hand is in awe and tries to communicate with what he sees as a simple bird photographer.

    • Kam

      Forgot to leave my name.

      .
      Kam

  • Kam

    Tired of being ignored by his parents, Junior is taking the phrase “Speak softly and carry a big stick” to another level.

  • Bnon

    In this World Cup, no map will help the English find the back of the net.

  • These directions make me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.

  • ST

    “Mom, Dad, stop actin’ like such tourists, I found the Washington Monument right here!”

  • dcdude

    “I’m pretty sure it’s this way!”

  • LG

    Honey, I told you industrial-grade glue would do the trick!

  • LA

    Honey, this map must be wrong. Check your iPhone.

  • anon

    This “Metropolitan Branch Trail” sounds like a nice place to take a walk.

  • A

    I think he’s distracted. On the count of three, run!

  • tragic crazy glue accident

  • bdiddle

    You got the right one, baby.

  • Hungry

    “When I grow up, I’m going to be as tall as the width of the right-of-way of the street or avenue on which this building fronts plus an additional 20 feet or 130 feet, whicher is shorter!”

    • Hungry

      **Whichever

      UGHHHHHHHHH

  • “I can’t believe he fell for it. Now let’s take him to the zoo and tell him one of the lions is Aslan.”

  • Anonymous

    MUM! DAD! IS THIS THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT??? IS IT??? IS IT??? ARE WE THERE YET? CAN I CLIMB UP IT??? I WANT TO CLIMB UP TO THE TOP OF THE WASHINGTON MONUMENT??? CAN I??? CAN I??? PLEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEE???????????

  • Hope

    They were RIGHT. DC is pole-arizing.

  • karna

    While on vacation in D.C., Flick decided to see if his tongue would stick to a lamppost.

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