72°Mostly Cloudy
  • Eric

    In case you were wondering what the Polyphonic Spree was up to these days . . .

    • Mug of Glop

      I came here to make just this joke.

      +1

  • StatingTheObvious

    Even God can’t make the Red Line run on time.

  • amber

    Metro may not be good for getting somewhere without frustration, but the acoustics are heavenly.

  • G

    Metro Stairway to Heaven… Stand Right, Walk Left

    • Anonymous

      G…you nailed it, great comment.

  • Anonymous

    Our father, who art in the operating booth, give us this day a swift commute, and forgive us out delays.

  • bungybungy

    “We don’t want to be virgins anymorrrrreeee!!!!”

  • emily

    In renewed attempts to connect with urban Millenials, the RNC hired some ‘brothers’ to perform original songs on a Metro platform.

  • Was on H

    Welcome to Prgatory! aka Your Evening Commute

  • Gumball

    The stairway to heaven is temporarily closed for repairs.

    • timmyp

      You should have added, Sorry for the inconvenience.

  • monkeydaddy

    I’m struck by the contrast between the brutalist architecture and organic robes, instruments, and voices of the people in the place. That’s not funny or anything, I’m just noticing it.

  • Brooklander

    ONE NIGHT ONLY!!!
    Dan Stessel and the Metro Angels

    [Update:] CANCELLED DUE TO TRACK WORK AT METRO CENTER
    Sorry, no refunds

  • Anonymous

    We’re on a road to nowhere, come on inside
    We’ll take that ride to nowhere, we’ll take that ride
    Feeling okay this morning, and you know
    We’re on a road to paradise, here we go, here we go

  • Anonymous

    Sister told me crossfit here was a hit last week.

  • Anonymous

    Ladies and gentlemen. ..THE VATICAN PEOPLE!

  • NorthbyNE

    Sadly, Metro’s “If you see something, say something” campaign was rendered largely ineffective by the Franciscans vow of silence.

  • CAS

    Tired of hearing long strings of explicatives each morning on the red line, followed by the phrase “God damn it,” the monks took action.

  • PG

    You know times are tough when the Hare Krishnas have to perform in the subway to pay to get their heads shaved.

  • ThunderCheese

    God blessed hipsters.

  • ThunderCheese

    “Someone’s single-tracking my Lord, Kumbaya.”

  • For future reference, this is who we’re referring to when we say “people from PG county”.

    • anon

      I’m from PG County. I don’t get it.

      • Anonymous

        I’m going to assume that since these are the whitest people ever it’s a joke about how every time someone mentions PG county here every calls them a racist and assumes they’re talking negatively about black people.

    • JohnnyReb

      Yes, as a Prince Georgian, I don’t “get it” either. I usually like reading your point of view, Justin, but please don’t mock a place you are, apparently, unfamiliar with (We all know that you grew up in NC). For those of us whose families have been here for a long time, we know that places change and evolve.

      • textdoc

        I don’t think he was mocking the place, but rather the practice of people using “people from Maryland” or “people from Prince George’s County” as codespeak for “black people.”

  • recon::decon

    Metrorail Alert – Red Line: Delays continue at Gallery Pl-Chinatown due to ‘Act of God’

  • Nick

    Most people do not realize this, but this picture was actually taken during the No Pants Metro Ride.

  • Tim Pilotte

    Adapted from the Sound of Music comes the smash hit “How do you solve a problem like the Metro?”

  • CPT_Doom

    More proof that “Von Trapp Familymania” is just not going to take off like “Beatlemania” – they just can’t book a decent gig.

  • madmonk28

    If you feel an urge to go towards the light, don’t; it’s a train.

    • Was ln H

      + 1 Ha!

  • dcd

    Well, did they ever return?
    No, they never returned, because they didn’t have the exit fare.

  • thomashailu

    Pie Jesu Domine, ut plura impedimenta (THUMP), Pie Jesu Domine, ut plura impedimenta (THUMP)

    Translation: Merciful Lord Jesus, we need more trains
    (Thank you Monty Python and the Holy Grail for this glorious scene)

  • Anonymous

    Unable to keep the trains running through conventional means, Metro is now trying song and prayer.

  • Shawly

    It figures that the stairway to heaven would be a broken Metro escalator. I always knew God had a great sense of humor.

  • VarnumGuy

    Everybody, together, and a one, and a two….How do you solve a problem like the Metro.

    Or, How do you solve a problem like the Red Line…

  • NoNo

    All the prayers in the world won’t make the red line train come faster…

  • annonny

    Washington (AP) — In what some call a desperate attempt to get the Capital’s Metro system running properly, General Manager Richard Sarles has turned to God for help….

  • LG

    Deus ex metro.

  • Georgia Ave

    Highway to Hell.

  • Sheik Yerbouti

    Trying to disprove the rumors that Metro escalators are impervious to healing prayers.

  • LoganRes

    WMATA’s newest tactic to prevent suicide jumpers.

  • Anonymous

    Now approaching Monastic Center, transfer point to the Benedictine and Recluse Lines.

  • Ron

    Several members of the Catholic singing group were hospitalized after being arrested by WMATA police and SWAT Team for the unsanctioned activity.  WMATA justified their use of force by noting the menacing and aggressive nature of the group.

  • PG

    When Metro refuses to pay their chosen performers, this is what you’re stuck with.

  • DW

    HarK the HeralD angels sing, the SilveR line IS openINNG.

  • SKH

    This train ain’t bound for glory this train

  • Robin’ the Hood

    Friar Tuck assumed that if anyone needed salvation, it was the poor souls who decided to take the Red Line during rush hour.

  • Niko

    Sister Mary Beth knows how to get all the men… too bad every time she finds “the one” he becomes a monk.

  • Sully

    Catholic U. must be getting really desperate for money these days.

  • lesserlesserwashington

    Just when you thought your commute couldn’t get any worse…now with evangelicals!

  • “Perhaps our hymns and faith and guitar takes off the edge to riders dealing with daily rail service disruptions, never-gonna-end weekend track work, the public masturbators, massive fares, and no of 24-hour rail
    We’ll be the Silver Lining!

  • MBru

    After finally making it through the Pearly Turnstile, Heaven just wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be.

  • PFL

    We’re not the monks who make the beer, we’re the monks who need beer money!

  • Craig B

    Now I’ve been happy lately, thinking about the on time metro train to come
    And I believe it could be, the escalators have to run

    Oh I’ve been smiling lately, dreaming about the metro riders as one
    And I believe it could be, some day it’s going to come

    Cause out on the edge of Tysons, there rides a silver line train
    Oh metro train take these suburbs, come take me home again

    PA SYSTEM: ATTENTION – ALL TRAINS ARE SINGLE TRACKING AND ESCALATORS ARE OUT OF SERVICE AT MOST STATIONS. THANK YOU FOR RIDING METRORAIL

    Oh %^&! it, let’s go catch a cab…

  • Anonymous

    I don’t care if it rains or freezes
    As long as I got my plastic Jesus
    Riding on the dashboard of my car…

  • TB

    “Can’t we just sing about shoes?”

  • kg

    The third rail is slow again?? Ohhhh, we thought you said ‘On the third day he rose again.’

  • Mase

    METRO’s new outreach program for the Silver Line has been met with a fair amount of skepticism.

  • Anonymous

    For our next selection Sardines and Pork and Beans 1 and a 2…

  • Librariannabelle

    Pray all you want, but there’s still a delay at Judiciary Square.

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