The following took place a couple of weeks ago: I’m walking home from the metro listening to Amadou and Mariam, having an uneventful time of it. So I cruise by the all the nice houses decked out in Christmas lights, I favor the white lights for the record, and all is swell. So I make my turn off of New Hampshire Ave and all is good until I get to my house.
I’m really rocking out now doing my best to sing along in French with Amadou and Mariam (a really good African duo influenced by Manu Chao) when a guy jumps out from nowhere while my keys are literally in the door. So I turn around and, and… I froze. I was so stunned and oblivious, just totally taken by surprise. I mean it was ridiculous. I always thought I’d have a Robert DeNiro moment and say “are you talking to me?”. Suffice it to say I reacted in just about the exact opposite way – I just stood there with my mouth hanging open, thinking Oh God this is it.
So, he actually says to me “don’t worry I’m not going to rob you.” Whew well that is a relief. I don’t know you tell me, when I guy jumps out of the bushes right in front of your house, how do you react? I fucking froze. Sorry, I repeat myself. So the guy who is clearly homeless pulls the whole “hey I don’t have enough money to get on the metro scam.” I must have a certain look because this has been used on me at least a dozen times. Ok, I’m sure at some point people really don’t have enough money to get on the metro but I live like a half a mile from the Metro! Incidentally, what brutal increase WMATA is contemplating.
Anyway, so there I am keys hanging out of the door, ipod blaring, and this homeless guy asking for money. Ready for the anticlimactic moment? Well, I gave him the change in my pocket and he left. But it is bullshit. Because I wasn’t prepared, because I was taken by surprise, I simply didn’t react at all and as a result I felt intimidated and powerless. What if I had said no? I guess I really do just read the Metro section to often. What I would have liked to have said was, “what the mother fuck are you jumping out of the bushes at 7 o’clock at night, you bastard!?” Now, listen I was raised properly I give money to charities and to the homeless for that matter but at that moment I felt like I had no choice.
Now, what if I told him to fuck off? He knows where I live etc. etc. So I gave him the change in my pocket but he took a lot more than the change in my pocket. So where does the real tragedy lie? I no longer listen to my ipod on my walks home. I mean I am one alert mother fucking panther when I walk home now. Which sucks, because I loved rocking out to my tunes on the walk home. This is the price we pay for being cautious and living in the City I suppose. So my warning to all, this could have been a lot worse, it was a reality check wake up call for me – be alert on your walks home. Don’t be oblivious listening to your ipod or talking on the phone or you’ll get surprised and I can assure you it is not a pleasant feeling.
Recent Stories
photo by Mr.TinMD From NPS: “The National Park Service (NPS) and National Links Trust (NLT) will rehabilitate Rock Creek Park Golf Course, one of the oldest public golf courses in…
Thanks to John for sending this “Vintage Chrysler 300. 1969?” Sweet City Ride is made possible by readers like you!
Photo by rockcreek Ed. Note: If this was you, please email [email protected] so I can put you in touch with OP. “Dear PoPville, I see the a girl at the…
If you have any animal/pet photos you’d like to share please send an email to princeofpetworth(at)gmail(dot)com with ‘Animal Fix’ in the title and say the name of your pet and…
Unlike our competitors, Well-Paid Maids doesn’t clean your home with harsh chemicals. Instead, we handpick cleaning products rated “safest” by the Environmental Working Group, the leading rating organization regarding product safety.
The reason is threefold.
First, using safe cleaning products ensures toxic chemicals won’t leak into waterways or harm wildlife if disposed of improperly.
Looking for something campy, ridiculous and totally fun!? Then pitch your tents and grab your pokers and come to DC’s ONLY Drag Brunch Bingo hosted by Tara Hoot at Whitlow’s! Tickets are only $10 and you can add bottomless drinks and tasty entrees. This month we’re featuring performances by the amazing Venus Valhalla and Mari Con Carne!
Get your tickets and come celebrate the fact that the rapture didn’t happen during the eclipse, darlings! We can’t wait to see you on Sunday, April 21 at 12:30!
Frank’s Favorites
Come celebrate and bid farewell to Frank Albinder in his final concert as Music Director of the Washington Men’s Camerata featuring a special program of his most cherished pieces for men’s chorus with works by Ron Jeffers, Peter Schickele, Amy
Cinco de Mayo Weekend @ Bryant Street Market
SAVE THE DATE for Northeast DC’s favorite Cinco de Mayo celebration at Bryant Street NE and Bryant Street Market!
Cinco de Mayo Weekend Line up:
Friday, May 3: