Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo of “A Volkswagen van burns on 19th Street NW just north of Park Road in Mount Pleasant, afternoon of July 15, 2015” by PoPville flickr user StreetsofWashington

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

314 Comment

  • keeping with the theme: RANT: Last two of three times I tried to use Metro i had to exit – and pay for nothing but disappointment – because the system is broken. RAVE: Each time I walked instead to get where I needed to go. Didn’t really have the time for the 1 1/2 miles round trip on Wednesday, but reality is reality and it was a beautiful day.

  • Revel: EchoStage is a terrific concert venue. It’s got great sound, it’s just the right size, and stocks a great bar.

    Rant: EchoStage is in the middle of nowhere — and it’s nowhere near public transportation. It seems that few among its audience demographic own cars, so it requires a messy stream of Ubers to get people out of there in the middle of the night after shows.

    • Seriously. I’ve want to go to a few shows at EchoStage, but it’s in the middle of nowhere. So, I’ve never actually gone. Might as well be next to Merriweather Post, in my opinion.

    • God forbid you ever go anywhere in DC not near a metro station. There is a massive network of bus routes across the city that are pretty easy to use. Just because somewhere is not near a Starbucks or Chipotle doesn’t mean it’s the “middle of nowhere”.

      • maxwell smart

        While I do 100% agree with this sentiment, being someone who doesn’t live near Metro, etc. – EchoStage is in a rather unfortunate location. The one time I went, I took an E bus that dropped off in the middle of a somewhat sketchy neighborhood… at least when I got chased by raccoons it seemed sketchy. They do run a shuttle bus after the show to the Metro, although it was really unclear where said shuttle picked up and it took longer then it should for the bus to show up.

      • I just mapped it from my home, and there are at least 3 different buses going from .17 to .7 mile from echostage. The one I checked had service until 2 or 3am.
        Merriweather offers no public transit options, right?
        If you’re unclear how to get there, check the metro website, and right on the front page you can plan a trip from address a to b, and they’ll even give walking directions to & from the metro/bus. It couldn’t be easier.

      • Yeah, standing on the corner of Bladensburg Road and New York Avenue at 2AM waiting to get the express back to Petworth. After a Wednesday night show. I can see doing that.

        • I wouldn’t do that either! My point is that buses are a transit option in DC and that just because something isn’t immediately adjacent to a metro doesn’t mean it’s the “middle of nowhere” and Uber is the only option.

      • The wait times for buses out there is excessive. It isn’t a big deal getting there, but waiting half an hour for a bus after a show on a weeknight really isn’t ideal. The location isn’t great if you don’t have a car.

        • The wait for metro late night is about the same especially if you’re changing lines. Metro also closes earlier than many buses stop. No it’s not the most convenient place, but there are lots of ways to get there, and if you’re car less, I imagine you’re used to some things taking a little longer.
          You can easily time leaving with buses using the app. Maybe missing the last 5 minutes but getting home a lot faster.

          • EchoStage is in the middle of sketch’ville. If I was a single female, I also would not want to be emerging from that venue late at night to take public transportation. Due to the nature of shows at EchoStage (many electronic music groups), often the headliners don’t hit the stage until midnight.

          • Emmaleigh504

            but it’s ok for single guys to hang out in sketchville? If it’s dangerous for chicks, it’s dangerous for guys too! #petpeeve

          • I wouldn’t want to wait alone for the bus lots of places at 2am. I don’t think echo has a monopoly on crime or sketchiness. They aren’t hurting for business though, so I’m sure people are working it out.

          • Fair point on the #petpeeve, M. Lee. I also would not wait around for a bus at that hour. However, I am cognizant of the fact that a single female is more likely to be harassed than a single guy at that hour in that neighborhood.

          • Emmaleigh504

            OP Anon, I am cognizant of all my male friends who got mugged in the States and Flowers neighborhood (not DC) and how I didn’t. Never even got harassed. There are lots of reasonS why people are targeted for crime/harassment. IT’S NOT JUST WOMEN, MEN ARE TARGETS OF CRIME TOO.

      • It depends where you live. I live in DC and the quickest route taking public transportation (metro and bus) takes me one hour to get there not including any traffic issues. So, quite frankly, it is inconvenient to spend an hour traveling 5 miles. Granted, DC traffic being what it is means that a taxi ride could be 45 minutes to go 5 miles, but still. It’s not centrally located and I would not want to rely on a bus to get me home late at night, especially when I cannot rely on the metro to do the same.

    • justinbc

      It’s “in the middle of nowhere” because if it was near where people lived they would all bitch incessantly about it. Imagine it next to your own house. And people probably don’t drive because many at those shows are well beyond intoxicated or on some sort of drug. Thank God they’re using Uber.

      • maxwell smart

        I don’t know – the area around 9:30 club seems to be doing alright. I’ve also heard rumors about a music venue opening as part of the whole Waterfront / Yards Park area – lots of potentially to open a similar sized venue as EchoStage which more around to support pre-post concert food/drink and easier access to transportation.

        • The area around the 9:30 Club used to be pretty different — none of the condo buildings. The only neighbors who might conceivably have heard any noise would have been the residents of the strip of cute little houses (narrow, two-story ones) on the little strip of Florida between Sherman and Vermont… and those are far enough away that I don’t think it would have been an issue.

    • Yeah I agree. The one time I went, I went with some friends and one DD’d for us. Parking wasn’t too hard to find, but that’s probably because not many people want to drive there and not drink or whatever. Great venue though!

    • wow, you’re the only person i’ve even heard say this about echo stage. perhaps it depends on what kind of show you’re seeing, but it’s quite easily the worst concert venue i’ve been to in DC. the sound is awful. i saw belle & sebastian there last month and it was indiscernible. i could not understand a word. i’ve been to basement shows with better acoustics. also, they only water they make available is bottled and will run you 5 bucks. i could see it being a great venue for a rave, but not a rock show.

      • dcgator

        I’ll agree with this. I was at B&S. More importantly, their drinks are SO DAMN EXPENSIVE! I couldn’t believe some of the prices. Made 9:30 look like a college town dive bar.

      • dcgator

        But, in my opinion, U Street Music Hall wins for worst concert venue in DC. The tightness of the room lends itself to nothing being discernible.

        • I would disagree. I love U Street Music Hall – it’s only meant to be for dance music. I love the layout and how it’s pretty no frills. I also think that the drink prices are reasonable and the staff are awesome

        • maxwell smart

          This is how I feel about 9:30 club. I have yet to attend a show there that had any discernible acoustic quality other then loud noise.

      • Agreed. I went once, and I’ll never go back there.

    • Doesn’t one of the hotels right around there have a bar in it? Go have a drink, wait 30 mins and then go home.

  • Rant: Sinuses on fire for no apparent reason.
    Rave: Gorgeous weather!
    Rave: The trailer for “Suffragettes” – literally brought tears to my eyes. I studied the militant suffragette movement when I was in college, and used to live in Manchester (where the Pankhursts are from). This is such an important story to tell as in many ways it was the forebearer to later civil rights movements. Also, I think it’s important for apathetic voters to see exactly how hard people fought for their right to vote (and yes, I know, this is set in Britain, but that movement played a part in women here getting the vote).

    • YES it looks amazing! PoPville goes to the movies…..? 🙂

    • I can’t wait to see it. I watched Iron Jawed Angels my freshman year of college and proceeded to pick up a major in women’s studies. Looking forward to watching the British side of things on screen.

  • Rant: That photo. Holy moly!
    Rave/Rant/Undecided: My 2yo knows how to get to Radius pizza. I told her our friend was bringing us pizza for dinner last night on our way home, and when we got to the house, she said “no, this way!” When we got to the alley, she said “no, this way!” And proceeded to lead me towards Radius where we sat to wait for our friend to emerge. She’s only been there three times!
    Rant: Summer cold. Was a zombie by 9:30 last night.
    Rave: Sleep
    Rant: Waking up early and not falling back asleep. No, cat, it does not help if you knead my head.
    Rave: beautiful weather today!!!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: needed a sweater this morning and it’s mofo JULY!!!
    Rave: pretty lilies in my ‘hood.
    Wistful: coulda been the best thing ever, or at least a summerboy.

  • The New Yorker article about the next big earthquake was fascinating, well researched, well written, and legitimately frightening.

    • I’m moving to the west coast next week and I cannot stop thinking about it. It makes me ill. I feel like I need to see a professional!!

      • Don’t forget, it’s not just the Earthquake! Mt. Hood or Mt. Rainier could pull a Mt. St. Helens and put a Hiroshima-sized hurtin’ on their respective metropolitan areas!

        • Except that the likelihood of one of those mountains erupting is very small, and would come with ample warning, whereas a devastating earthquake is very likely to occur and will come without warning.

          • I think their point is that such a massive earthquake would likely spur an eruption. So you’d be dealing with two mega disasters without much warning. The earthquake is likely to damage much of the monitoring equipment. And how do you get people quickly out of the volcano’s path if roads and bridges are damaged by the quake?

    • I’m from Seattle, and though I already knew much of that, the article was extremely sobering and really did a great job describing the likely magnitude and destruction and how woefully ill prepared the region is. I still have family and friends there, and I just hope it never happens in our lifetimes.

    • I watched a show on Megatsunamis (Nat Geo?) that was equally if not more terrifying due to the visualizations. I’m surprised I haven’t had related nightmares.

    • thanks for the recommendation – I just read it! Scary Stuff!!

  • Rave: No issue dropping off my car this morning to get brake work.
    Fingers crossed: that it won’t cost an arm and a leg.
    Rave: This almost gets me back to neutral with the car. I got it serviced this past weekend (first time since last August because I don’t drive that much), got it cleaned (free with the service!) and now I should be getting the brakes taken care of. Next up: tires and battery at Costco in the coming weeks and that thing will be good to go for some time.
    Rave: Extra expenses started to cause me stress and then I realized that I have this covered and don’t really need to stress. A nice feeling!
    Rave: I couldn’t tell at first what the workers did yesterday, but accountering realized after being home for an hour or so that they painted the whole back of the house yesterday! I’m excited to see it in daylight this evening…it looked pretty good yesterday.
    Rave: I think I’m getting out of this stupid funk I’ve been in since winter. Next up: get more active.
    Rave: Great experience the last two weeks with Blue Apron! It’s nice to have some set dinner options, but not have to think too hard about what to pick, or go to Giant and try to piece something together.

    • You’ll get tired of Blue Apron, at least in my opinion. It was fun the first few times but I feel that some of the recipes can have unnecessarily too many ingredients, you end up using too many pots/pans, and there is a lot of clean up. While some dishes were great, I felt that a majority were eh. I cancelled after a few weeks.

      It’s a great service, just wasn’t for me.

      • I used to do Blue Apron but I agree- too many ingredients, too much prep, and we wouldn’t eat the meals that we didn’t like- so it was a waste. We started using ScratchDC and we LOVE IT. They assemble ready-to-cook meal kits containing cut, chopped, and marinated ingredients. Customers order the bundles on the ScratchDC website, and they are delivered to the customer’s home or office at their requested time, along with detailed cooking instructions. It’s sooo good- and I like the ingredients are local. http://www.scratchdc.com

  • Mug of Glop

    Rave: That ball pit was strange. Fun, I guess? Certainly an experience! Spent over an hour in that thing. Anyway, no regrets.
    Rant: Got Shake Shack after the ball pit, so that’s two nights in a row of Shake Shack. I feel full of regrets.
    Rave: On the other hand, it was tasty.
    Rave: No plans for the weekend, so it should be pretty relaxing! Or productive? Eh, probably not productive.
    Rave: Got some good data on the science machine yesterday. Maybe it’ll make Excel happy this morning.

    • Mug of Glop

      Oh, and Rant: We all got too distracted by the ball pit to make our way over to the crane dance.

    • saf

      We enjoyed the ball pit, although there were too many kids for it to be really fun. They kept jumping on me and kicking me. I was hoping that the evening hours would be more adult swim.

      • Mug of Glop

        We were there until the bitter end, and it seemed that all the kids had at least vacated the half we were in by about 8 pm. That’s not to say that my ostensibly adult friends didn’t jump on and kick me, though…

  • And another longish bit of meticulously researched journalism which I recommend to all: Slate’s (Will Saletan’s) piece on genetically modified food, and the ridiculous anti-science mental gymnastics that some people and groups will undertake to oppose it.

    • Thank you for all the reading material! I love this stuff, even though I enjoy my job I sometimes wonder if I should have studied a hard science instead of the dismal science…

      • Me too. I took the easy route of a humanities education, but spend all my leisure time reading pop science and engaging in naturey pursuits (there’s a batch of luna moth caterpillars pupating on my dining room table as we speak.) I wonder if I could have hacked a biology/ zoology education, and enjoyed that career path. I sometimes think about going back and trying it.
        Then again, my humanities education gave me the tools to spot the bullshit that permeates so much of pop science, so there’s that.

  • Rave: I saw “Dear Evan Hansen” last night at Arena Stage. Wow. I’m STILL thinking about it. So, so good.
    Rave: The Boy had a breakthrough for some reason last night – apologized for being shitty, admits he wants and needs to “grow up” and see a therapist about stuff. I put it all on the line in an email to him last night – if he says no, he’s out, I know I have tried my hardest. (No idea where his breakthrough came from, saw no flying pigs outside my window)
    Rant: Barely slept last night.
    Rave: Decided to leave a bit early this afternoon because
    Rant: I have to get all of the errands run/groceries purchased/house clean before tomorrow night. Jam-packed weekend full of baby showers/birthday parties that I need to cook for, purchase gifts for, etc. So that’ll be done today.
    Rave: My weekend is full of fun things.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Unless there was a line-up the flying pig isn’t going to show up. Plus there was that unfortunate power line accident.
      Don’t forget to take good care of yourself, you have a lot going on.

    • Wait, you did send him the first email you were talking about, right? That might be where the revelation came from.
      I think it’s great that he realizes he needs to work on things and grow up, but that might be something he needs to do independent of you. If I were you, which I obviously am not, so feel free to disregard, I would ask myself “can he participate in this relationship as I want him to, as he is now?” Because you never know whether he’s going to follow through on any of these changes and you can only wait so long.

      • I never did send him the first email (the pick-me-up-from-the-airport one) because he told me the day before I planned on sending it to him that he was visiting family that weekend.
        But, in my response to his email from last night, I did use much of what I was going to say to him in that email.
        I think you are right, he does need to take care of these issues on his own, but I also fear that I’m one of the only people he confides in, and if I’m not there, will he be okay? (Well aware that’s not a reason to continue to date someone).
        Definitely still looking and if a lovely man I meet while out in the world wants to take me for drinks or dinner, I’m totally accepting it.

        • Wait. Definitely still looking and you’d accept a date offer? Isn’t he your boyfriend? I think that kind of says it all…

          • That’s the thing – I don’t know if he is. We had a “talk” and I told him I wanted clarity. So until I have clarity from him, as to what is happening, I feel as though I can be open to other possibilities.

          • Oh okay then. Yes, you should definitely put yourself out there then. This “relationship” or whatever it is seems like a lot of stress.

        • “…but I also fear that I’m one of the only people he confides in, and if I’m not there, will he be okay?”

          Oh man, good you recognize this isn’t a great reason to date someone. I’ve been down this road many times, and it truly has never ended even remotely well. It took me a really long time to realize that.

          • Accountering

            I am just going to +1 the above. This kind of sounds similar to what people in abusive relationships say (not in any way saying he is abusive of course!) but you need to make decisions based on whats best for you, and not to help save someone else.

          • Emmaleigh504

            +1 to anonaw and Accountering. I know less that jack-sh!t about these things, but “…but I also fear that I’m one of the only people he confides in, and if I’m not there, will he be okay?” is a red flag to me.

        • i’m kind of worried we’re dating the same guy! revelations and apologies last night too.

        • Second what jeslett said. I’ve been there, falling for someone who has his own issues to work out. As much as I wanted to be there and support him, in the end he needed to do it on his own and I wound up just hurting myself. Admittedly I’m biased given my own experiences, and I’m all for supporting people you care about, but don’t sacrifice your own happiness/health because of his problems. If it’s meant to be, he’ll work himself out and come back. Meanwhile, you need to move forward with your own life, with or without him (as hard as that might sound).
          “I also fear that I’m one of the only people he confides in, and if I’m not there, will he be okay?”
          He’ll figure it out and be ok. As someone who doesn’t confide in many people, learning to open up more was an important step I had to take on my own (particularly when my main confidant was the guy mentioned above…it wasn’t healthy).

          • ^^Forgot to say that this is just unsolicited advice from a complete stranger. Welcome to ignore it. With hindsight (and having met a stable, mature guy who makes me much happier than I ever have been), I just regret all the stress and tears I unecessarily put myself through!

        • Ok,…. from one co-dependent to (what sounds like) another, step away. You asked for clarity. You didn’t get it. Getting a non-answer is equally an answer. My suggestion is to step away from him while he figures himself out. Re-group in a few months and see if things can work then. But it really sounds like it could be a case of right guy, wrong time, which sucks but it happens. It sounds like he is stringing you along. I really have btd. In fact, your boy sounds a hell of a lot like a guy a dated a year and a half ago. Just, please, for the sake of yourself, know when to walk away.

      • +1 to what Jeslett said.

      • +1 to this Jeslett. Relationships fall apart when one person goes in thinking that the other will change/that they can “fix” them/etc. People don’t change THAT much, and it can cause resentment down the line if they’re forced to.

        • I’m pretty convinced that we’re not in it for the long haul. Curious to see if he will respond to my email but I know I can confidently say I’ve said all I’ve wanted to (to him) and there’s nothing else I can do or say. And the fact that I’m not sad or depressed about that, is probably telling. 🙂

          Like I said yesterday, the idea that there are so many exciting possibilities that I have closed myself off to for so long — I’m looking forward to seeing where life leads. I’ve definitely learned a lot from this experience and I am worth so much more than this. Now I can be open to finding that stable, mature guy. It took a lot of time (and therapy) for me to come around, but it’s happening. I might even work up the courage to make friends at a PoP HH sometime!

          • so what’s keeping you interested in him? Why put in the effort? Just wondering.

          • Accountering

            You should definitely come. Reasonable chance Em and I will get rip roaring drunk and shots will ensue. Pretty cool people on this site and at the HHs 🙂

          • Yay! I’m happy for you and it sounds like you’ve made a ton of progress.
            Sometimes I feel like I’ve molted off an entire version of themselves as an adult, which is sounds like you’ve done too. Doesn’t it feel good to come out on the other side and see all of that hard work behind you? And to know you can do more of that work from an even better starting point?
            Everyone once in a while I like to stop and look behind me and see how far I’ve come 🙂

          • *an entire version of myself. Molting off an entire version of someone else takes this analogy into serial killer territory.

          • +1 very nicely put, jeslett

            Speaking of PoP HHs, do we have one scheduled yet? I know there has been some talk of getting one together but I haven’t been following too closely.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I’ll plan a HH for August, I can’t deal with July. And I will repost this tomorrow.

          • Emmaleigh504

            And Accountering is an awesome drinking buddy, just don’t offer to pick up his tab!

  • I too have been a victim of the car-b-que. Godspeed, owner of car in picture.

    • I’d be heartbroken if this was my Westy. Their owners are fanatics. This is the equivalent of losing a pet for a VW Westfalia owner.

    • I hope this isn’t a resurgence of the car arsonist we had in northwest Columbia Heights/eastern edge of Mt. Pleasant a few years ago. If I remember correctly they were targeting people with LGBT bumper stickers (rainbow flags, HRC symbols, etc.) and mopeds. Although those might have been separate incidents and the LGBT thing may have been a coincidence. Anyone else remember this?

  • Rave: Got to spend four days with my sweet new nephew out in San Francisco – what a great trip! Spent a lot of time snuggling him, giving my brother and SIL some breaks. Just a lovely trip.
    Rave: Seeing my daughter first thing this morning. She missed me a lot this trip and was so so happy to see me.
    Rave: This weather – so gorgeous out this morning!

  • Rave: This weather is wonderful and it puts me in a good mood! I may even walk home from work today to take advantage of it!
    Rant: My one cat keeps coughing up furballs despite my best attempts at grooming her and detangling any little mats (which she loudly protests!). I watch as she defiantly pulls little chunks of fur out of herself and then gobbles it up like it’s catnip. I try to grab her and pull it out of her mouth when I can, but since she’s unsupervised the majority of the time, I know I’m missing a lot. Hence the furball puke.
    Rave: Almost Friday!
    Rant: I’ll be taking plenty of work home with me this weekend.

    • Pablo Raw

      Have tried the “Trump my cat” thing?

    • binpetworth

      Oh God, my cat keeps doing the same thing! A friend of mine told me she believed it was because of the heat and the denseness of their coats in the summer. But my neighbors must think I’m crazy for yelling, “Stop eating your hair!” all the time 🙂

      • If you don’t have a furminator, I recommend. Great comb that gets out a ton of fur. Does wonders for my dog.

      • i know, same here, my neighbors must think I’m nuts, yelling “Stop eating yourself!” at all hours! The apartment is 76 degrees, I don’t think it’s heat. I have a couple of special grooming tools, including something similar to the furminator with rotating teeth, as well as a razor-rake thing, but it’s not enough, I’m seriously thinking of shaving her!

        • Allison

          Is it possible that your cat is removing her hair as a sign of stress? I know that birds rip their feathers out when they are upset.

          • Emmaleigh504

            (Allison! I’ve missed seeing you here!)

          • I too have missed Allison!

          • I thought about that possibility, too, Allison, and I can’t think of anything that would have particularly stressed her out, unless it’s just that I and my roomie were gone (for only a night) for two weekends in a row. But she’s 10, and she’s a Ragdoll, so she’s normally super super chill. I guess I’ll have to try to see if anything has changed that might be freaking her out on a cat level!

  • Rave: Gone on a few dates with a girl from OKC. She’s super cute and she wants me to meet her friends this weekend. I’m really nervous.

    Rave: Doing some volunteering this weekend, can’t wait to get out in the sun!

    Rant: Red line this morning. Gosh, was it terrible.

  • Bear

    Rant: My boss. I just can’t anymore.
    Rave: Won’t be reporting to him for too much longer.
    Rave: Craigslist and freecycle coming through on free/cheap wedding decor. Picked up 4 boxes of stuff last night and I have a few more things to grab this weekend from various people. I don’t think we’ll need to buy much new stuff at all!

  • justinbc

    Rave: Tasting menu at Fiola tonight for partner’s birthday.
    Rave: Day off tomorrow to recover from wine pairings.
    Rave: Staircase estimate came in under allocated budget.

    • Oh, what’s the staircase estimate? I mean what are you doing to it? We need some work done to ours…hopefully just a lift and some staining.

  • Neither rant nor rave: I’m moving over the next two weeks and need boxes. If anyone is looking to get rid of a large amount of boxes, I’m happy to take them off your hands. And yes, I’m watching DC Freecycle 🙂

    • Your local liquor store may also be clutch – I’ve had really good luck my last couple moves asking for 3-5 at a time, packing them, and then either heading a few blocks away or back another day. They can usually tell you when they are planning to break them down.

      • Yep, this is the way to go! Also bars/restaurants, ask them when their beer/wine/liquor shipment days are, and pick up boxes from them that same day (just make sure they hold them for you and don’t break them down ahead of time).

    • I have none (keeping them all for now) but if it’s a local move, I’ve heard good reviews of those box rental services

      • I did the plastic box rental for my last move and it made everything SO much easier. (1) I didn’t have to assemble and then take down boxes; (2) they are all a uniform size, and very sturdy, so easy to stack; (3) they snap closed so no messing with tape; (4) since I had to return them it forced me to unpack quickly. Great experience all around. I used WeGoBox.

        • Co-signed, I have done the same thing for this move and it has made things so much easier. I am so much less worried about breakage and damage with the crates. And I think the cost was the same or maybe a bit less than the cardboard boxes I got for my last move (most of which got crushed or damaged.) I used Bungobox.

        • Thanks, will look into those.

        • My god, what a great service. Wish I’d known about it 3 months ago. I’ll definitely plan on using it for the next move. Thank you!

    • Cvs, bookstores, grocery store, etc.
      If you call ahead, and ask when they get deliveries, you’ll save some time.

    • Check craigslist, too. Not just the free area – search the whole “for sale” list at once. Because people give away tons of boxes on there. I got my boxes for my last move that way, and disposed of them as I unpacked them the same way. You can also gets lots of packing paper and bubble wrap from them, too. People who would rather see the stuff reused than in landfill go out of their way to post and give it away.
      Good luck. Though it has been over two years since my last move, I can’t imagine doing it all again, though I may likely be facing a move before the end of the year. I can’t bear to think about going through all that again. I need to start downsizing some now to make it a bit easier. But nothing about moving is easy.

    • I still haven’t unpacked… but my dresser gets here on Saturday so I’m hoping to unpack a bunch of boxes this weekend so I’ll probably have a few you can have! (I don’t have a ton, though).

      • Get my email from PoP or Shawess. I can grab them early next week, if you have some that are still in good condition

        • Will do! I’ll let you know the condition of the boxes once I get some stuff out of them.

    • Also check with the admin folks in your office to see if they have a delivery of printing/copy paper coming any time soon.
      IMO, the boxes that printing/copy paper comes in are great for moving (although more of a hassle to transport, since they don’t break down). They’re especially good for things like books that need to be packed in smaller boxes (to avoid the box becoming prohibitively heavy). They’re also handy in that you don’t have to tape them up and then cut the tape if you need to get back into them to take something out/add something in.

    • justinbc

      Go with someone to Costco and just load up at the exit.

  • Rant: was going to be early for work, but metro decided that was a bad idea.

    • Emmaleigh504

      ^^^^ that was me. but I’m a work now, so must be productive for a little while. Behave while I”m away Popvillians!

  • Rant: Again, childcare in this city. If My husband had gone to Georgetown Law, we were just notified last night that we got a spot in their childcare center. That’s great (I mean, we’re moving but still), but they gave us less than 36 hours to accept the spot. That’s not even though for any parent. It’s ridiculous. The JCC gave us a week to decide – and at the end of the week, we needed to provide a non-refundable payment for the first and last month’s tuition ($4k). It’s totally insane. Supply and demand, I know.
    Rave: Enjoying the internet black hole that i fell into last week that ended up with me watching a documentary on the rise and fall of Brit Pop. I’ve got a major crush on Jarvis Cocker, so it’s been a fun few days watching archived interview clips.
    Rave: Noel Gallagher is HILARIOUS now. I mean, back then he was a jerk – probably still is – but also hilarious!

    • It’s $2k a month?!!? *cries*

      • Might be high because it’s school not just daycare, I think.

        • $2K is on the high side of the average for even just daycare depending on the area of the city.

        • There are definitely daycares in this city that are $2k a month, and even more. Downtown is usually where you find the most expensive ones. We pay $1k a month, and that is about the cheapest you can find (I’m sure there are some cheaper, but I never saw any, at least reputable ones)

          • Oh man, $1k IS cheap given what I’ve heard people pay!

          • @ParkViewRes, I know, we are lucky! That combined with the fact that it is a great center is probably why they now have a 6 month waiting list.

          • I never saw cheaper than 1500 in my extensive attempts to find a spot remotely close to our work commutes. That said, I never got a spot in any of the like 18 centers we paid to be on the wait list for. I got a spot at [email protected] Penn but that’s the same price as our nanny, and then the Georgetown spot. that’s it for daycare (JCC is technically preschool, you can’t start until you’re 2)

          • When my youngest was in daycare, I paid $1000 a month, but it’s a center in Brightwood with no dedicated outdoor space, so that’s why. It was great though, I loved it there and he flourished.

          • Can I get on a daycare list for a child I *MIGHT* have in three years?! LOL. The childcare issue is insane.

          • Ours in in Northern Petworth/Brightwood too. I’m wondering if it is the same place as yours anonamom. At 5th and Kennedy?

            Our daughter has flourished there as well. She was a preemie, and is now ahead in some developmental areas (for even her actual age, not just corrected). That is partially due to the attention and instruction from the teachers there. I have absolutely nothing bad to say about the center at all.

          • Nope, not the same, though I did look at that one amandal! Ours was on Georgia near Rittenhouse.

      • JCC is $2k a month but it’s almost the only year-round preschool options in DC.
        Georgetown would have been about $1300/mo, and honestly if he’d had a spot there before my husband got in to Penn, we might have had a lot more to consider because we would be saving and making a LOT more money. Though, I love our nanny and it’s heartbreak losing her either way. And she’s more than the JCC.

    • There’s a really great BBC documentary on the rise of British Synth Pop called “Synth Brittania.” You can find it on Youtube. Really does a great job covering the genre and their influences – Gary Numan, Joy Division, Depeche Mode, Human League, Cabaret Voltaire, Yazoo, etc. Highly recommended!

      • awesome – I think that was earlier than the stuff I’m binging on now – this is like mid-90s. I’m currently listening to all of Glastonbury 95. Good news is that Jarvis and Damon Albarn have improved with age 🙂

      • oh, and I find it hilarious that Disco 2000 made the year 2000 seem SO LONG AGO. I mean, now it is…but in the opposite direction 🙂

    • My daughter went GLC childcare – absolutely loved it!

    • Ooh what’s the name of the Britpop documentary? I loved Britpop so much and totally want to watch it.

  • Rant: red line mess yesterday added about 2 extra hours to my round trip commute.
    Rave: ran into a coworker I actually like on the way home and had a nice chat to take up the time.
    Rant: I think I caught one of these summer colds that’s going around.
    Rave: I’m really looking forward to this weekend. I have a date, dancing, and great plans with my sister.

  • topscallop

    Rant: date tonight postponed
    Rave: because he’s being a good guy and helping out a friend
    Rant: this means it’ll be 2 weeks between the first date and the second, hopefully that’s not too much time
    Rave: he still seems interested, and so am I
    Rant/Rave: no concrete plans for this weekend, which often results in me wasting it on the couch. I’m thinking of doing another closet clean-out, inspired by yesterday’s discussion on here, and seeing a movie as a reward. Maybe cooking something delicious and complicated just for fun…does anyone have any exciting recipes (that won’t undo my workouts this week) to share?

    • Emmaleigh504

      “that won’t undo my workouts this week” darn, the brownie recipe is out…

      • ditto the salted caramel six-layer chocolate cake

        • topscallop

          Those sound amazing but I’m trying to be good! Maybe if I make something with fruit in it I can pretend it’s healthy. I do have leftover pie dough in my freezer…

    • I was thinking about something that involved a few steps, like grinding spices and then making a paste and then cooking the paste…
      Take a look at the Splendid Table recipe for pounded chicken (although no spice paste involved)
      Or make kim-chi, or ricotta cheese

      • Emmaleigh504

        Maybe a nice homemade curry or (brown) jambalya or homemade pesto sauce (make yoru own noodles too!). Or do some canning! Make some jam/butter (blue berry butter is worth it’s weight in gold) out of all the great fruit out there! It’s canned so it won’t undo your good workouts. Or pickle some veggies (a fast pickle not a ferment pickle unless you want the process to last for days.) The blog Food in Jars has great recipes.

        • I love Food in Jars!
          Make some relishes, or a blueberry ginger shrub 🙂

          • topscallop

            These are great ideas, thanks much! I love the cheese suggestion. Maybe I’ll finally get around to making paneer. I’m a little intimidated by jam/preserves because of botulism, but maybe I can make a couple of small pies in jars and bake them for my roommates, like these: http://ourbestbites.com/2009/09/single-serving-pie-in-a-jar/. I can add it to my repertoire along with my single-serving (actually 3 decent-sized) chocolate chip cookie recipe!

          • Emmaleigh504

            If you are afraid of botulism, just make a small batch and leave the jam in the fridge. Everytime I make jam I leave at least 2 jars unsealed so I can use right away. The other’s get the water bath canning to save for later or give away. There’s also info about canning and botulism at the USDA and CDC sites so you can see what to look for and what the symptoms of botulism are. I was really nervous when I first started so I kept the botulism sympotms guide with me at all times. 🙂 Have fun!

          • Emmaleigh504

            oh and you can get plastic lids for your Ball jars at the hardware store so you don’t have to deal with the rings and seals like you would for preservation canning.

          • Home made paneer is easy as pie.
            Speaking of pie, I LOVE the pie-in-a-jar recipes! Will add this to my “to-try” list
            And, I had a cup of blueberries and some ginger = shrub in my refrigerator!

  • Rave: Adorable roomie conversation. Asked her if she wanted anything from the store, and she said a big chunk of meat. I couldn’t find a smaller option, and when I told her, she said she really wanted the biggest size but didn’t want to seem greedy. LOL
    Rant: Bar exam on the red line. I cannot get sucked it that mess. Must explore bus options.
    Rave: Half day tomorrow.

  • Rave/Rant: Public safety meeting last night. I felt like it was the adult thing for me to attend and I want to feel like I’m a part of the community. But it felt like a lot of legal circle jerking (not a complete grown up apparently). I for one am all about rehabilitation and not letting people emerge from jail and be completely useless to society. However it went off on a lot of tangents about how we can’t just lock kids up and that doesn’t solve problems. They come from bad homes and bad situations which I totally get, but kids are still committing crimes and I don’t feel like public safety concerns were actually addressed.

    • It’s that attitude that leads to the two videos posted today.

    • Accountering

      I don’t much care about solving problems at the point that people start committing violent crimes. I want them locked up and off the street, so they don’t commit violent crimes. People who assault innocent people lose my ability to care about them 100%.

  • Not a rant or revel, more of a reminder on etiquette when driving and biking on 11th street. I took the lane going south down Florida. The guy driving the car behind me said out his window that if I’m going to bike down 11th, to move to the side. Then he squeezed to the right of me while we were waiting at the stoplight at U Street. I didn’t say anything to him because you never know how someone is going to react, no matter how polite you are. I did pettily look at him every time I pulled even with him, because he obviously wouldn’t have lost any time at all behind me, since I kept up with him.

    But friendly reminder that 11th street is a sharrow street. Meaning it’s a major bike thoroughfare and bikes and cars have equal right to the road. Many bicyclists stay towards the right, which gives cars more room to pass. That’s their choice, but it puts them in danger of getting doored and also encourages cars to pass without safe passing distance. So if I want to take the entire line, I am allowed to. If you’re choosing to drive on a major bike route, then you should give proper deference to bicyclists using it.

  • Question of the Day: what’s the “appropriate” amount to spend on vet care for an animal?
    I was reading Reddit yesterday and there was a really good discussion on pet costs. A veterinarian came into the conversation and mentioned that he sees way too many people – who can’t afford it – go into debt to keep their pet alive. She/he mentioned that a stray street animal usually only has a lifespan of 2 years, so any extra time a cat or dog gets inside a home is a life well spent. Even if you have to put it down at only the age of 7 or 8 because you can’t or don’t want to spend thousands of dollars on a surgery, people shouldn’t feel guilty about making such a hard decision solely based on finances.
    It also brings to mind my coworker who has spent over $16K in the last two years for two separate surgeries for her dog. She pretty much emptied her savings account for those costs, so fortunately she did not go into. I know that this is a very personal choice, but I couldn’t fathom putting my own emergency funds at risk for a pet.

    • I spent over $6K to try to keep my cat alive. Putting her down was terrible, but she was suffering so much near the end. It all came on so fast, I was trying to save her. But it took me a long time to recover financially from that. (And longer still before I adopted my current cat)

    • good question. As a pet owner I realize that it’s not an easy decision. Pets are a part of the family but I know that some people keep them alive because they don’t want to let go, however draining an account or leaving a pet suffering aren’t good options either. Interesting take from the vet.

    • I am pretty squarely against extraordinary medical measures for pets. Mainly because it decreases their quality of life. They do not understand why they are in pain, or feel ill. People who put their pets through chemo are completely unfathomable to me, and while I don’t want to insult folks willy-nilly, come across as exceedingly selfish.
      We are facing this now, as our middle-aged cat (who is the world’s best cat in every way, and deeply loved) seems to have developed a cancer of some kind. We’re not going to spend hundreds of dollars diagnosing it, though. He would hate that. And he would hate whatever treatment followed from it. (We tried medication to address the other thing it could have been, and that didn’t cure him, so we’re assuming it’s the cancer.) We’re keeping a close eye on his comfort, appetite, mood, etc. When he no longer enjoys his life, we will end it.

      • but everyone has their version of “extraordinary measures”. We had our dog’s knee replaced – insurance covered a significant majority of it – and it improved her quality of life dramatically. My parents balked at it. but they had chemo for their dog. So I think it’s deeply personal and I think vets need to be more open with people about the realities for the pet vs the realities for people. A dog has pride, doesn’t want to pee all over himself or whatever. It was easy for me to say “WTF you’re spending how much on chemo for that dog?” when my dog is my first baby and I’ve been through so much with her, I’d do anything for her. Being in the position to decide is AWFUL, but hopefully we all make the best decision for our pets.

      • Accountering

        This sounds very spot on, and I can so appreciate your concern for your cat, he sounds like a cool guy, and I think you all are very much so doing the correct thing.

      • justinbc

        +1, when it gets to the point that it’s something really serious, then it’s really only a matter of time before it escalates to something much worse. Animals are a lot smaller, with smaller lifespans, and can’t tell you that they’re in pain long before you happen to notice something, so the decline in quality of life can happen far too fast for you to be able to stop it. I believe that most people who try to “save” their animals are really only doing it for their own selfish desires, rather than the actual benefit of the pet.

        • Accountering

          I think it has to be within reason. For Andie and I (and Radar) he got very sick and threw up a half dozen times on Saturday. He was just a small puppy, and we didn’t want him to literally die of dehydration (with what we thought was a stomach bug, and he couldn’t keep down fluids) so we took him to Friendship. On Monday, he was still sick, so we took him to a family vet because we were worried as he started going back downhill. They ran some tests, and once we figured out what the situation was, we made that tough decision.
          We were trying to save him, until we realized it wasn’t possible. I don’t think it was selfish at all, we didn’t want him to die of dehydration from what we though was something minor that would pass.

          • justinbc

            Well of course there are outliers, that’s why I didn’t use absolutes. As you noted below, the age of the animal is very important, as is the actual type of care needed. A hip surgery (very common for dogs) is a lot different long term than something like radiation therapies. Luckily almost all my pets have died naturally of old age, but just using random numbers I would say for a pet older than 10 years I wouldn’t spend more than $1,000, unless it was a low risk surgery with little to no known side effects.

          • Well of course. A puppy with a stomach bug needs treatment! The hard part comes when you learn it’s not a bug, the treatment is tough and questionably effective, etc etc.
            For example, our cat who got out and tangled with some dogs, years ago. Of course the first thing you’re going to do is rush the bleeding cat to the vet. They whisk him away, and an hour later you get a bill for $1000. Fine, that’s what you do as a pet owner. But then a wound gets infected, and you take him back. Another $200. And then he gets constipated because his injuries make it painful to poop. Another $200. And then he develops a limp, and the xrays ($300) show that minor surgery ($900) will be required to fix that damaged tendon. Before you know it, your cat has spent four months being scared and in pain, but there was no logical place to draw the line and say “no more.”
            That’s a hard situation to be in.

      • saf

        When my Alice cat got cancer, we did palliative care until it was obviously not working any more.

        When Loki cat got hyperthyroid, we had her irradiated.

        The difference? One gave her a long high-quality life. Treating the other would have only kept her alive, not happy.

    • This is why I have pet insurance for both of my dogs. For $50 a month, if something major happens, the insurance will cover 80% of the cost.
      Of course, there comes a point when putting the pet through a major surgery would be more beneficial for your well-being (the prospect of saving your beloved pet) than it would be for the pet (if they are elderly or their quality of life won’t be vastly improved). It’s a really tough call and one I don’t look forward to having to make when the time comes. I get emotional just thinking about it 🙁

      • From what I understand, many breeds – especially pure breeds – are not covered by insurance due to genetic issues. That was the problem for my co-worker – she has a pure breed and it had to have corrective surgery twice for the same genetic condition. Pet insurance does not cover those foreseeable issues.

        • There are some insurances that do. The policy we just bought covers hip dysplasia and several other breed/genetic issues. Although it is SO much cheaper to get the policy when they are young. I think ours is $23 a month…which if you think about it if our dog lives ~14 years at a total cost of ~3500. I think its worth it…I have easily spent that on our other dog in his life time.

        • The insurance I got doesn’t have any such restrictions. It’s called Embrace and $50 covers both of my dogs for emergency events or major illnesses (not routine vet care). They’re six and seven years old, but I got it when they were both under 2 (it would probably cost a lot more if I tried to get it now that they’re middle-aged).

    • Emmaleigh504

      I learned from my parents that pets are pets, not people. So no going into debt for them or costly experimental surgeries. I have a predetermined amount I can spend if needed and I won’t go over. Donna may be the love of my life, and Ashlee before her, but they are cats, not kids.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I will also add that sometimes putting them down is the kindest thing you can do.

      • This is how I was raised as well…. While I get why people spend loads and how some people view their pets as children, I do not (and that doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad pet mom).

        • I’m with you, and I’ll take it a step further – I simply do not get how some people “view their pets as children.” That is either extraordinary hyperbole that they stick to against all reason, or the symptom of a radically off-kilter world view. I say this as someone who has spent several thousands of dollars to diagnose a cat’s issues, and gives her a shot and other meds each day. I love that little furball. But as Emilee (or M. Lee, or EmuhLee) said, they’re pets not people.

          • It troubles me that any story about an animal garners 10x the attention as a post about human suffering. Even the ones, like the lady who worked for the District for 30 years and is now homeless, where she is shown to be blameless for her misfortune. 3 comments.
            I think the world’s world view is off-kilter.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I so hate when people call me Donna’s mother. No. Just no. She’s a cat, I can’t be her mom. I can be her human or caretaker or the person who spoils her rotten, but parenting children is in a whole nother league.

          • I’m fairly certain that most people who view their pets as family members or even as their “children” know that they aren’t literal human children and there is a big difference between the two. You may not view your pets in that way, but maybe it’s comforting for someone to do so. Who are you to say it’s off-kilter? Does it really hurt you or anyone else?
            By the way, a lot of people might get more upset about animal abuse because animals have zero choice. Humans control their destiny entirely and they have no way to change their situation. I’m not saying I don’t feel equal empathy for human suffering- just offering an explanation as to why it might garner more of an emotional response from people.

          • saf

            wdc – there is often less to say about people. I read many posts. I comment on some. But with many people stories, there’s really nothing to say at the end.

          • Does it hurt me? Of course not. If anything, it gives me a much-needed chuckle as I contemplate the HUMAN suffering around us. Who am I to say it is off kilter? Just an observer. I know that the worst, worst insult that someone can level these days is that someone else is “judgmental,” but sorry – if you refer to your pets as your kids or your babies or part of your family, I think you have a screw loose, or you’re under 10 years old. And I’m not nearly as confident as you are that these people really know the difference between kids and pets. You see it here all the time – someone posts a complaint about a pet (usually a dog), it goes on for a bit, and then someone else replies with something like, “well, I think kids are annoying, so they should be banned from restaurant patios/stores/walking in public/whatever. Just stop. It’s a ridiculous comparison.
            And if you really are more disturbed by animal suffering than human suffering, you need to re-examine your priorities. Quickly.

          • Emmaleigh504

            “By the way, a lot of people might get more upset about animal abuse because animals have zero choice.” For me it’s also the same for little kids. There’s an old movie with Natalie Wood as a wee tyke who was rescued from the Nazis. She tells her American friends what happened to her parents and I sob every time. It breaks my heart when those who have no control over situations (children, elderly, animals) have terrible experiences. I want to save them all.

    • It’s so hard to decide ahead of time what you will and won’t do, or where that line is for you personally.
      The first dog that Mr. Eggs and I had together got extremely sick very young (like, just over a year old) and we got ourselves thousands of dollars into debt trying to figure out just what was wrong and what we could do about it. By the time the emergency vets finally figured it out (days later) and told us there was nothing that could be done, we had to choose to let him go after all of that. We just paid that credit card off this month – we took it out to cover these expenses alone (nothing else has ever gone on it) in January 2012.
      100% worth it, would do it again. I can’t imagine spending my life wondering if there was something more that we could have done to find out what was wrong. I already felt incredibly guilty letting him go at such a young age, but we decided that it was better than letting him continue deteriorating for the 3-5 weeks he had left.
      I’m not sure what we would do in the event of something long-term, like cancer. We’ll cross that bridge when we (hopefully never) get there.

    • Accountering

      I think it depends on a number of factors. Prognosis, pain and suffering, age of the dog, and financial ability to pay.
      Andie and I paid about $2000 for all of Radars end of life car/blood tests, fluids and everything, and luckily for us, that was very manageable. We could have spent another $6,000-$10,000 with a very uncertain prognosis and no certainty of success, and that is where we drew the line. Little guy was in so much pain, and there comes a time when the humane thing to do is to euthanize.

    • That One Guy

      A somewhat related question: How much does it cost to put a pet (dog) down? And what happens to the pet afterwards?

      I fear the dog isn’t doing well these days and it’s a matter…

      • Friend’s pup was put down recently – she was offered the choice of getting the pup’s body, his ashes and pawprint, or letting the clinic dispose of his earthly remains.
        I don’t know about the cost – office visit plus meds used?

      • anonymouse_dianne

        It costs around $100. Generally they are cremated en masse, so if you want the ashes returned to you that is extra. Getting a pawprint is extra by maybe $15, and comes nicely framed. At least this is what City Paws did for my Aby Feb 2013.


      • We had a large vet bill for in-patient care, so I’m not sure of the total line-item expenses…but one that stuck out was nearly $300 for cremation. MPinDC is right, we were given those options. I think it probably depends on what end of life measure you’re taking. Our bill was nearly $1000 for that day’s visit because of IV fluids.

      • Emmaleigh504

        It cost about $300 for my cat (can’t remember if that included the examination etc they did). They cremeated her and offered to give me the ashes in a box. I noped right out of that. There’s also a service that will do it at your house, there’s a old Popville post about putting pets down and it has the name of the place.

  • skj84

    Rave: Going to a lecture at the Library of Congress today. I need to take advantage of the free resources in the city more often.

    Rant: I have a job interview today and I don’t know which Company! They called me yesterday to come in and I could barely hear. I have an idea of which of the many companies I applied for it is, but I’m too embarrassed to call back and ask.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: Upcoming conversation with a friend to clarify some things that happened in the recent past. Mostly my fault
    Rant: My apartment needs some work, mostly medium and little projects. But I’m always too tired or busy to work on any of them.
    Rave: Considering a trip to Europe next year.
    Rantve: I’ve been facing a situation in which logic says “there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to do this”, but feelings say “you don’t want to do it”. I’m mostly a logical person and I try not to follow my “gut” when making decisions (I know it works for others, not for me). I’m going to go with “feelings” this time, but I feel like I’m betraying my logical side.
    Ravent: I’m dying to say what this is about. But I can’t!

  • Rave: Pictures of the planet Pluto (secretly hoping Popville does a photo spread on Pluto)
    Rave: Dreamy summer weather days like these
    Rant: It is 2015 and public transportation is no near futuristic, convenient or a worthwhile option

  • Photo just reminded me, I witnessed a parked car get sideswiped on Irving this morning. Not sure if the guy stopped to leave a note but I’ll check on my way home.

  • Rave: Ronda Rousey ripping Floyd Mayweather. Just fantastic.

  • Random popville query: Does anyone have a reco for contact/company they’ve used to build a website that walked through mapping with you step by step? I have a great idea but really need some support to make it a reality because I am not tech savvy in the least.

  • Rave: I have a gig tonight!
    Rant: It came together just in the past few days, which means I won’t get as much exposure from it as I might have otherwise.
    Rave: Less lead time = less time to stress out about it.
    Rave: Looking forward to it!

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Thanks to all the PopVillians who reached out directly or indirectly to me yesterday. Your kindness is overwhelming.
    Rant; Me.
    Rant; I’m very angry at someone who attempts suicide. What about the feelings of your parents or sister? How am supposed to feel about someone who thought it was okay for me to find a dead body in my house? Is this a fair emotion or am I making this about me? What should I say when he returns from the hospital? Really conflicted here. Am I being a jerk?

    • It’s tough. You have to try and put yourself in his shoes though. When you’re suicidal it’s not about your mom, dad, sister, friend. It’s about wanting to end the pain and feeling like you’d rather be dead than this miserable. Maybe when he returns you can have a talk with him and try to understand why he is so depressed. Also, make it known that you want him alive and many other people do. There’s help out there and he very clearly needs it. So sorry you had to find him, I cannot imagine what that must have been like.

      • +5000 People who are depressed enough to kill themselves often think that they are doing their loved ones a favor. They can feel like people are just tolerating them to be polite and that it will be a relief for others when they are no longer around to impose on those people’s kindness. So yes, he put you and his loved ones in a terrible position. But he is in a really bad place and is not thinking clearly.

    • Emmaleigh504

      It’s ok to feel that way. My mom was more consisderate when planning her exit, she was going to do it where neither me or my father would find her (but someone else would!). Thank all the pretty things she got a flat tire on the way to the place.
      Knowing all the crap about depression and how it lies and how painful it is for the person, I still would be super pissed at my mom if she did it. I would understand why, but still be so very angry.

    • My family dealt with a suicide earlier this year, and these are all of the things that I, and I’m sure others have felt/grappled with. Not to mention the fallout from the subsequent hospitalization, which resulted in a traumatized 25 year old being stuck with a $2M hospital bill. And, for nothing.

    • Accountering

      It is a very very selfish action. Full stop. The people left behind will have to deal with their grief and anguish.
      Andie and I were chatting last night and were thinking it was likely you dealing with that, and were keeping you in our thoughts. I certainly think you did the right thing getting him hospitalized.

      • Emmaleigh504

        “It is a very very selfish action. Full stop.” No it’s more nuanced than that. Depression will tell you that your family wants you dead so they don’t have to deal with you anymore. Depression will tell you that the only way to end the pain is death.
        Do you think its selfish for someone with terminal cancer to stop treatment and die?

        • Accountering

          I can understand what you are saying, but at the end of the day, to me, it is a selfish act. I understand that depression can be all consuming, and give people those feelings, but still feel that ending your own life is the epitome of selfishness.
          No, I do not think that your second scenario is selfish at all. I had a friend who’s parent had terminal cancer and was going downhill quickly. He lost control of his faculties, and a couple of days later decided to end his life peacefully at home. I think the fact he knew he had a few months left, but chose to end his life before it got really bad was totally reasonable. I am a big proponent that we should be treating people with the respect to end their lives as they see fit, and not have the last week of their life be spent in a hospital bed, pissing and crapping themselves, and struggling to breathe.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I think it is necessary for a person to comprehend the impact on others of their action in order for their action to be characterized appropriately as selfish. I am sure that in some cases, people who commit suicide to comprehend the impact of their action on others, but I’m also absolutely certain that that is not always the case.

          • Emmaleigh504

            So you are saying ending your life for one kind of pain is not selfish, but is for another kind of pain. I completely disagree. I also hope no one in your family is ever depressed b/c you don’t seem to have much sympathy for people with that illness.

          • Yes, everything being equal, it would be preferable if no one was ever depressed enough to end their life. But you seem to be overlooking that things between mentally well and mentally ill people are extremely unequal. By comparing what you would do in that situation vs. what the depressed tenant tried to do, you’re not comparing apples to apples. You’re comparing grapes to watermelons. M. Lee is asking you to understand what a monumental struggle living can be for someone who wakes up miserable and fatigued and self-loathing and hopeless every day.

          • Emmaleigh504

            And depression can be very difficult to treat. It can take years to find the right treatment, some people never do. Depression is a horrible disease.

          • Accountering, I think I get where you are coming from. The analogy here is between a terminal illness that will kill you despite treatment (which is painful and reduces quality of life) and an illness that is treatable. The difficulty is, and I see where the others are coming from, to a person with severe depression and/or mental illness, life it’s self feels like a terminal, incureable disease where treatment can be painful and can also reduces quality of life. I have what feels like an inordinate amount of women in my life with various degrees of bi-polar who would certainly attest to this. Also, I have the experience of being very close with someone who was in an incredibly deep depression and felt for many reasons that ending his life would have been a better outcome for his family, and in many ways to be perfectly blunt and honest, it would have. But thankfully, this was not the option he chose.
            The truth is, life is really hard. And for people who are depressed or living with mental illness, it’s really fucking hard. All we can do is have compassion.

          • Accountering

            All fair points – but yes, I think ending your life when you are terminal is different than when you are depressed.
            I am not minimizing the crushing impact that depression can have on people, I have seen it in my personal life with friends. It sucks! I do understand how difficult it can be to live with this condition, and I do sympathize. With all of that said, even though it can take years to get it sorted out, ending your life in this instance is still incredibly selfish in my opinion. One is making a decision with a very lasting impact to countless people, unilaterally, and only thinking about themselves when they make that decision.
            I have a lot of sympathy for people with depression – it sucks, but little for people who actually commit suicide, and instead only sympathy for the ones they leave behind.

          • Emmaleigh504

            It’s not like you can show sympathy to the suicided person. Be pissed at them, but it just rubs me the wrong way to call is selfish or cowardly. We will just have to disagree on that. And it totally does suck for those they left behind. I’m still scarred that my mom told me how the flat tire saved her from suicide, and she told me way after she found treatment that healed her and it’s been at least a decade since she told me. (TMI mom!)
            I just wish people would show some sympathy to those who can’t find treatment that works, or are still looking for treatment, or for various reasons cannot afford or obtain treatment for the disease. When my mom was in the looney bin*, so many inmates* with her were discharged b/c their insurance wouldn’t pay any more not b/c they were fixed. [*my mom’s words. we have some gallows humor]
            I and use the words I like, damnit! (I jest)

        • Sometimes, the family does wish you were dead so they didn’t have to deal with you anymore. It isn’t always depression talking. I wonder if making family find the person/body after the attempt/successful suicide is ever consciously payback for having that feeling.

    • It’s OK for you to be angry. It’s OK to also want to help him. He put a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.
      Is he allowed to come back to your house? Where is he convalescing? As awful as this sounds, I don’t think I could deal with having him there for more than the necessary time to recover back to health.

    • I’m so sorry this happened to you. Give yourself a break and acknowledge the feelings. But it is important to remember that people who are so depressed they try to commit suicide are unable to really think about the feelings of those they leave behind, there’s just no other way out of the pain for them. I hope he can lean on his family so you don’t bear it alone after he is released.

    • skj84

      I think it’s fair to be upset. However suicidal people don’t think off the aftermath. They want to end the pain and are in an irrational mindset. Years ago A family friends daughter killed herself at home and her mother found her. I don’t think she intended her family to find her, but it isn’t fair for anyone to make that discovery. I’m sending good vibes your way.

    • I Dont Get It

      First of all I am so embarrased—I meant to post this anonymously. In my weak defense I am very upset. Thanks for the kind words. Last night he called me and demanded I pick him up from the hospital which of course I refused. He said he would call his mother. The hospital refuses to give me information today and I don’t have his mother’s phone number. He left his phone here.

      • You have the right to be angry. And, while I don’t know this person’s relationship to you, whatever it is, I don’t think you are required to take them in after that. People need to know that their actions have an impact on others.

      • You absolutely have the right to be angry and upset (and whatever else comes to mind) about this situation. You need to do what is best for IDGI right now!

      • anonymouse_dianne

        Please let go of your embarrassment – and you have the right to be angry. But suicide is not logical. Think of Robin Williams. My uncle committed suicide by gun in 2002. He was in his 70’s. He had tried many times before to OD and failed. He had tried therapy and drugs. I cannot fathom feeling that depth of depression.

      • Others have said things more eloquently than I could, so I’m just going to send hugs. This sounds like a hard and traumatic event, and you’re allowed to feel the feelings you have.

      • Blithe

        It’s late in the day, but I want to add one more voice to the many that are urging you to be kind to yourself as you deal emotionally and practically with a very disturbing event. You are not in any way being a jerk. If anything, you’ve been a hero — and your actions may well have saved your tenant’s life. I think that most people in your situation would likely feel a combination of things: shock, numbness, anger, fear, resentment at being pulled into a horrific situation, concern for the other person, and possibly even twinges of undeserved guilt — re: how you responded to the situation. As mtpresident said: “you’re allowed to feel the feelings you have”.

        It sounds like you may have some difficult decisions coming in the near future. I hope that your tenant is getting the services and support that he clearly needs. I also hope that his medical team does a good job of assessing his resources and his likely needs when he is discharged. You may have to assess for yourself what kinds of support you can — and can’t — provide for your tenant — since sharing your house with someone who may be emotionally fragile is way beyond the purview of a typical landlord/tenant relationship. If you are willing to continue to share your home with your tenant, you may want to consider being actively involved in his discharge planning if it’s possible to do so — if only to ensure that assumptions are not being made about the extent to which you are able and willing to be a major resource / source of support for your tenant.

        IDGI: the tldr version is an echo of what others have said: please take care of yourself in the face of an extremely stressful crisis. Far from being a “jerk” — you’ve been a hero, and a very caring person in the face of someone else’s considerable pain.

  • Significant other got an offer for a huge awesome job in NYC – they want him there permanently and soon. I’ve recently started a position (6 months) that is challenging and has lots of room for growth that I’m not ready to give up. We’ve always wanted to live in NYC at some point and have good friends/family nearby. Question is – do we live apart and commute on weekends for foreseeable future (we’ve done long distance marriage for a year – it was tough but necessary and we managed well)? Do I start looking for a new position in NYC ? Does he keep his job here, giving up this well-deserved and high-profile position? Just to confuse the issue, we are looking to start a family in the next couple of yers

    • Depends. NYC is EXPENSIVE. Will he be making enough to keep your same quality-of-life as you have here in DC? In my estimate, I would need a 40-50% raise to maintain the same QoL as I have here in DC. Will maintaining two homes be feasible with your plans to save money to start a family? Is NYC just a temporary stop for him (i.e. he can move the job or get a similar high profile position in DC after only a year or two)?
      Long distance marriages are much easier have the children have left the house. I actually knew many senior executives who had such arrangements (one spouse with high profile job in DC, another with the high profile job in NYC).

      • Accountering

        Meh, it is not THAT big of a cost difference. The difference is essentially your housing. Every extra $10K in salary is about $500/month in takehome. So if your rent will be $1500 more than current, you need an extra $30,000 in salary. You should be able to dump a car, so you will be living cheaper on that end (if you currently have a car)
        Even SF (more expensive than NYC at this point) you only need an extra $50,000 or so in family income to cover the extra $2500/month in rent you will be paying.
        WIth that said, if you are going to do it – be all in. Move to NYC with him!

        • Idk, I think I’d need to have 40% more to live a similar lifestyle (same amenities and size of housing, groceries, # of time eating out per month, entertainment) and still be able to save a similar amount of money in my savings and 401K. I lived in NYC for 9 years, so I know the costs and they are exorbitant compared to DC. And it’s the little things that really add up – a 6 pack of beer at my corner store in CoHi will run my $9 or 10. In Manhattan or one of the gentrified parts of Brooklyn, it’s $15 for the same 6 pack. An apartment with it’s own laundry machines and a dish washer is easily a $300-500/month premium.
          According to the PayScale dot com CoL calculator, it estimates that NYC expenses would be 57% higher than DC.

      • Thanks for your inputs. We’ve managed two homes (we own here in DC) before in DC and another expensive city on one income. It was tough but we figured it out. We don’t have a car and housing costs are higher in the places we’d like to live in NYC but alas there’s the travel to and from NYC to factor in as well!
        All-in-all though, the cost, thankfully, is something we can figure out as he’ll get a nice bump. Factoring in saving for kids, etc. is something we need to look at and discuss. I’m not sure I’m ready to leave a good position I got recently though…not sure how to puzzle through it.

    • HaileUnlikely

      If you currently live together, I’m sure you realize that maintaining two residences–one in DC and one in NYC–will be a whole lot more expensive than either of the other alternatives. Between the time apart and the financial impact, it is very difficult for me to imagine that being optimal.

    • My SIL went back to school, which meant moving a plane-ride away from her husband. She says their marriage is different now, but still good. They really savor their time together, rather than getting into a rut or taking one another for granted. I feel like the rut is inevitable, so why rush it? If you can focus on your careers now for a couple years, laying the foundation for higher earning potential down the road, I think you should. And make the very most of your weekends together. You’ll look back on them fondly.

    • Having lived in both, the expense difference IS great. You get so much more for your money in housing in DC v. NY – it isn’t negligible. And, when you add kids to that, it gets even more expensive. NYC is a difficult place for people with quite large (by any standards) incomes – I’m talking about people who make 200+K – to do family life in. And due to the inflated (over NYC pay standards for similar jobs) pay of fed and DC gov’t jobs here, many people here earn more than they would for the same job in NYC, and have greater job protection. You do need to earn much more in NYC to live reasonably than in DC. And, even in NYC, people who live happily without cars often find reasons to want one once they have kids.
      It isn’t just the housing cost. It is the jobs – most professionals in NYC work much longer and harder than people in DC, in my experience. I’m sure there are exceptions, but that’s my experience, in general, and that takes a toll on your life, especially once you have kids.
      And, DC is SO much more relaxed. Getting around – however you do it – driving, bussing, metroing, walking (OK, I find biking more hairy in DC due to right turn on red and faster traffic, and walking in more fun in NYC) – is far easier and less stressful. Things are way closer together, since this is a much smaller town and metropolitan area. Don’t get me wrong – I miss NYC terribly when I visit, and would move back if I got a job there – but I early on recognized how much easier life is here. I had no idea how hard life in general is in NY until I left – I moved there young and was used to it.
      Forget the cities comparison. Focus on your jobs. If you don’t want to leave your job, why should you? It seems odd to me that he was pursuing jobs there without you two figuring this out first. My advice? If he wants it, let him go. Keep your job for now. His job may not turn out as well as thought it might. (I have experience of that moving here for a so-called great job, which I realized was not a good place for me in the first month.) Wait and see. Travel is cheap if you drive, or can stand the bus (I can’t, but a car is easy if you like to drive.) The train is expensive but better. Eventually, you will tire of the commute in around 2 years. That will spur you to look for jobs there, unless he is leaving that job or restless to get out and wants to look for another one. Over time the answers will become clear. You can get through this, too. Especially because you like the idea of living in NYC. You may put in some time there, and then decide to raise kids elsewhere. I always thought living in NYC would be great if I had a kid in the first 5 years, but that I would want to move to the burbs (and I’ve never lived in a ‘burn in my life, or wanted to) for the schooling. Getting a school that works in NYC is even harder than DC in the early years. Good luck.

      • +1,000 on everything you said. Truth.
        I have plenty of friends raising kids in DC on middle class salaries. That’s pretty much impossible in NYC. The only folks I know with kids in NYC have household incomes over $400K or their first kid is less than 4 years old. Once school arrives, 9 out of 10 couples are off to the suburbs.

    • justinbc

      Oh yeah he should totally take the position.

    • maybe I’m the minority here (and old fashioned), but seeing that you’re married, not dating, my opinion is that someone will have to suck it up and sacrifice the career for the moment. New opportunities will arise. I couldn’t imagine living apart from my spouse, especially if you are planning to have a family. Distance changes people, sometimes for the good but sometimes for the bad.

      • Many people NEED two incomes, and so moving in stages, once the second one has secured a good new job, is often necessary. Quitting your job and just moving is not a good idea – it is very hard to get a job these days if you aren’t currently working.
        Many people commute weekly between NY and DC for work for years.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: When President Obama was asked about Bill Cosby he said clearly that women and men who are drugged for nonconsensual sex are raped. #itsnotjustwomen

    • And that rape should have no place in a civilized society. It was a perfect statement all around.

    • Following that, Rave: Obama getting serious about prison reform! He’s being followed by Vice for a documentary and visiting a medium-security prison today, on top of pardoning non-violent drug offenders.

      • anonymouse_dianne

        +1 and his call out to Five Guys for hiring ex-con(s). I did not know that and was very impressed.

  • Rant: Oklahomans protesting/having a Confederate flag party because Barry O’s in town. There is so much I love about my home state, but this is embarrassing and disgusting.
    Rant: watched the car fire from my front porch last night.
    Rave: watched Stage 11 of TDF and caught up with a friend over beer and pizza.
    Rave: very slow at work and taking off a bit early today.
    Rave-ish: SIL trying to set me up with a friend in Kansas City

  • I want a Petworth geofilter on snapchat! Somebody needs to step up to the plate on this pressing issue in our community.

  • Perpetual rant: The photos in the ads on this page. Some of them are straight up icky. I can’t imagine anyone clicks on those any more. Isn’t there a better way to generate revenue?

    • Prince Of Petworth

      Hmm better way to generate revenue…feel free to write me a check directly 🙂 I don’t love them either but they help pay the bills.

      • Not objecting to ad revenue. I’m really surprised that the shock-value pictures and click-bait headlines haven’t outlived their effectiveness, and thus their profitability. I can see how they worked for the first little while, but is anyone still clicking on them? I would’ve thought that internet behavior would have evolved and there would be a new idea by now.

    • justinbc

      I click them by mistake at least half a dozen times per month when my phone lags loading the screen, so at least 1 person still does.

    • I bet you’d do pretty well if you did a Wikipedia-style one-day fundraising effort every so often. Something along the lines of “If everyone reading this donates $10 now, we can fund the site with XX fewer ads.” I know I would kick in a lot more than $10 because I value the service PoP provides.

  • Tatiana Maslany!
    No love for the Americans.
    Noms for Bloodline! If you haven’t checked this show out, you should.

    • “No love for the Americans.

      You didn’t love the Americans? How is that possible?

      • No no, I meant the Emmy voters didn’t give The Americans any love. It’s one of my favorite shows, and this past season in particular was awesome.

  • Rant: Off site and off of PoPville almost all day.
    Rave: PoPville came to me via email several times. It’s making me think that staying in touch after the move will be a-okay.

    • Oh and:
      Rant: I’ve finally admitted that I’m completely powerless to answer every personal email I receive at this point, with so much going on all at once. It’s somewhat freeing to admit this, but I feel like a grade-a a-hole leaving some message unanswered for weeks (and usually the important ones).
      Rant: The 7th and P St bus stop discussion appears to have produced absolutely zero in the way of response from anyone in DC government. I wasn’t expecting it would do much, but I thought it might do -something-.

  • rant: First world problem I know, but it’s annoying when someone grabs and walks away with the Starbucks drink that I ordered, and then I’m left wondering/hoping that they ordered the same thing and they had been in front of me in line, only to discover when the other guy’s actual drink comes out that he had ordered something different, so he had definitely grabbed my drink, and he must have been in line behind me, because it took so long before the drink he ordered was ready.
    rave: Ultimately, I guess the joke is on the other guy because he overpaid for what he got (he grabbed a plain mocha instead of the white mocha he ordered), it was not skim like he wanted, and the barista (who knows me because I go there every day) felt bad for me so he immediately made me a new drink, and upgraded me to a grande!

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