Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Soinne

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

223 Comment

  • rave: went home for Passover. It’s my favorite Jewish holiday – the smells and tastes remind me so much of the older generation that is sadly gone now. I miss them terribly, especially now that I have a baby I wish they could have known. But I love Passover and love being home.
    rant: it made me really long for moving back there
    rave: I actually got a little tan this weekend!
    rant: girl who said she wanted to rent the apartment, even applied and we did a walk thru, backed out this weekend. So while we could have been showing it, it sat.
    rave: if no lease is signed by Friday, it’s going on the market. Condo for sale! I wanted to do this all along for extra cash on hand. It will be a much easier cash flow situation while we are renting a place until we figure out what we want to do when we grow up

    • Why not figure that out while living in your current condo?

      • Figure out which part?

        • “It will be a much easier cash flow situation while we are renting a place until we figure out what we want to do when we grow up”

          • we lived in a 1 bedroom. when you have a baby, that is difficult long term – no one was sleeping. So we are renting a 2 bedroom while we figure out 1) if we stay in the DC area, what area should we live in a 2) if we are going to move out of DC, apply for jobs and try to relocate without the burden of buying and selling where we live. Just easier temporarily. Not ideal, but easier.

          • Ah, gotcha – makes sense. Oh sleep, you precious precious thing. 🙂

          • yeah now with his own room, he is waking up usually twice a night. Which compared to basically ALL the time? much better. I think not being near me helps. There’s more space here – room for him to roll around on the rug and all that. Just better for now. Though long term, the goal is to leave DC. And if we can’t do that, we need to figure out which area to move to.

          • Petworth! Lots of bigger rowhouses that would fit your family very well!

          • Jindc, wasn’t there also an issue with noisy upstairs neighbors in your place at 11th and P? (As another reason why you wanted to move, beyond the space issue?)

          • to a degree – he was louder than the previous owner but the bigger issue was that he was a dick. We’d ask him to turn down the base on his TV and he gave my husband shit. Self entitled “daddy bought me a condo when I graduated” type. We are very quiet people even with our huge dog.

    • GiantSquid

      do you have the condo in Adams Morgan?

      • We have the small one in Dupont that is rented to a great couple. We are working on trying to sell it to them when the lease is up.

    • lindz0722

      Where’s your condo located? I’m considering buying a 1-bedroom sometime in the next few months, though taking the plunge is a little nerve-wracking!

      • 11&P. Love the location, but couldn’t hack it any longer with the baby. And we have parking, which apparently is valuable

        • You make a great sales pitch, with the “our upstairs neighbor is an inconsiderate dick” disclosure. Sign me up!

  • Rave: Even though it’s freezing outside, the sunshine has made a marked improvement on my mood over yesterday’s gloom.
    Rant: How is it only Wednesday???
    Rave: Down 4 lbs as of this morning… feeling good, like I can keep this up for awhile. Beach season here we come!

  • Rave: Sunshine! Even if it’s cold, I’ll take it. yesterday’s dump felt like it was raining inside my brain.
    Rant: skylight continues to leak, even after roof repair and replacement. will there ever be a time we don’t have pots and towels on our floors?
    Rant: I try too hard when i’m meeting new people and then i go home and overanalyze my behavior and get super anxious that i was trying too hard and probably said the wrong things and came on too strong and UGH. i’m an extrovert but somehow I’m bad at being an extrovert. is that possible?

  • justinbc

    Rant: Cold %$#^& weather. Leave us alone already!
    Rave: Bal’le collaborative dinner tonight with Toki Underground and Rose’s Luxury, two of DC’s most creative minds cooking together should be quite impressive.

  • Rant: This cold… just when you think you’re out, winter pulls you back in.
    Rave: Looking at thing glass half full, one last chance to rock the peacoat?
    Rave: It’s sunny out at least.

    • Forgot another rave: My PUBLIC bike’s rear tire developed a bulge. My bike repair guy it probably should not have done that only 4 months in. I emailed PUBLIC and they’re sending me a free tire and tube!

  • Rave: excited to be moving back to Petworth with my family!

  • RANT: Small lump on cat’s back. Could be nothing, could be something. Vet appt. this morning. I feel nauseous.

    • GiantSquid

      Could just be a fatty cyst. Our Westie has started getting them and depending on how big they can be lanced or frozen off. No biggie.

    • Emmaleigh504

      fingers crossed it’s nothing

    • Thanks, guys! The mystery deepens. Went to the vet and couldn’t find the lump. The vet couldn’t find the lump. Combed him and still couldn’t find it. If I feel it again, I’m supposed to mark the area and aim for a same-day appt. This is the second time in two months that I’ve found a grain-sized lump on his back only to have it (seemingly) disappear within a day or two. The vet didn’t have any suggestions as to what that might be, although I’m hoping it means not cancer.

      • Also, don’t suppose anyone has some advice about how to get two hard food loving cats to eat soft food? Lumpy cat needs to lose some weight.

        • Emmaleigh504

          Lumpy from Russia, Lumpy??? (I have no advice since my old cat only ate hard food and nothing else, except donuts.)

        • Try mixing in a tiny amount of soft food into what your cats normally eat. Gradually increase the amount of soft food over a week to 10 days. I hope this helps.

  • Rave: Fun first date
    Rant: I already know I”m not interested in dating this guy.
    Rave: He might be perfect for one of my friends.
    Rant: Not sure how to broach this subject. I agreed to see him again, and think I might bring it up then. He was a really fun guy…I’m just not attracted to him. I’d like to maintain a friendship.
    Rave: Liquid dinner led me to text the Nice Guy…and I ended up at his place. Double rave.
    Rave: Thinking more about just sticking with the Nice Guy for good. hmmmm
    Rave: Sunshine today – even with this colder weather I’ll take it.

    • justinbc

      Text the other guy and let him know you’re not interested in dating, before actually going on another date. Let him decide if he’s interested in “just being friends”, no need to discuss that in person. If you really think he would be a good match for your friend, send him a photo of her as well.

      • Nope, do it in person… have that courtesy, especially if you want to set him up with your friend. I went through this recently. Went out with a girl for a few dates, she told me she wasn’t interested romantically in person which was fine. She nudged me a bit to her friend who I’m now in a great relationship with and still friends with the first girl.

        • justinbc

          If they had been dating for a while then I would agree. She’s gone on one date with the guy. There’s no need to potentially waste his time for something he might not be interested in if he’s showing up under the assumption of romance.

        • Meh, if they have been on one date, I don’t see that courtesy as necessary. I do think she needs to figure out how to steer towards the friend though. Perhaps that is best in person, but could easily be done over the phone as well.

          If I went on one date with a girl, and she called and explained that she wasn’t feeling it, but had a friend she thought would be great, that wouldn’t be an issue at all.

    • The way you describe it, it sounds more like you’re deciding among appetizers rather than interacting with grown adults.

      I don’t know why you’d think he’d be glad to hear from you after you dis his attractivness. If he ever learned that you left a date with him for a rendezvous with Nice Guy, that would be ego crushing. No need to refer him, I’m sure he’ll do just fine finding what he’s looking for if he’s as fun as you say he is. Best if you just let it go entirely.

    • Agree with others, let this other guy go entirely and don’t go on another date with him. Why waste his time? You’ve only gone on one date, so there’s no need to do it in person. Call him up, thank him for meeting with you, and then kindly tell him that you would like to remain friends, but leave it at that.
      And no need to be a mettlesome Yenta. I honestly would be a bit offended if I went on a date with a random girl and then she tried to hook me up on a blind date with her friend. Awkward to the extreme, considering that you really don’t much about this guy other than the superficial stuff.

      • Side question: is it now socially unacceptable to harbor an anti-Tinder opinion?

        • Nah, you’re more than welcome to be skeptical of it.
          It’s the most superficial of the dating sites/apps.
          Though, I’m seeing more and more people on it in the 35-45 age range, lol

      • I don’t think it’s awkward to suggest he meet her friend. If they met online dating, for example, then she’s knows he’s looking to meet someone, and I can’t believe there is a single person using online dating who wouldn’t welcome a personal introduction instead, even if it comes from a relative stranger. There are a lot of reasons that you might meet someone who you think would be better suited for a friend (interests, hobbies, sense of humor, whatever).

  • Rave: Got the final approval for LASIK! Having surgery tomorrow at 9:00am!
    Rant: Have to get the more complicated version (PRK) and recovery is about a week
    Rave2: Friend who flew home early from his regular M-TH consulting gig to take me to my APPT and hang out with me tomorrow
    Rave3: Leaning on the parents this weekend. They are picking me up Thursday evening, taking me to my appt Friday morning, and then heading to their river house for a long weekend to recuperate. Parents are the best!
    Rave4: Date at Bluejacket tonight. Very cool girl, excited to see her again.

    • My friend had PRK and said it was like having sand poured into his eyes for a week while he laid on the couch. Good luck!

      • This sounds awesome!

        I suppose at least it will be a week and then be done. Hopefully I am not too miserable.

      • I had PRK a few years ago. PRK was not that bad for me, just took longer to recover. I didn’t need any of the pain killers they prescribed, so it’s not necessarily gonna be that bad.

    • My friend has a date at Bluejacket tonight! Would be hilarious if her date is you!
      Good luck with the surgery! (Parents are definitely the best – I miss mine horribly!)

      • Is your friend a very cool girl? 🙂

        I am starting to wonder about the wisdom of putting my name out here. Perhaps I will need to go to a fun name that is still recognizable. Especially as I don’t have much of a filter haha.

        • Hahaha huge part of the reason I decided to not, I have no filter. Plus my name is pretty recognizable.
          Don’t worry, I won’t ask her what her date’s name is. Rant/rave away, friend! I won’t ruin it for you 😉

    • justinbc

      I love Bluejacket, it’s a bit loud for a date though, no? I guess it depends on what # in the sequence this is…

      • Perhaps? But now knowing there is probably at least a 10% (likely higher though) chance that AP is friends with my date tonight, not certain I want to share more! Her idea though,… Will be fun regardless, and great beer too!

  • Rave: friend’s wedding this weekend, going to New York next weekend, and will be in Austin in less than a month (I’m from Texas and miss it dearly)
    Rant: today is my birthday (big 29) and I feel a bit adrift .I’ve sent out 20+ job applications in the last 3-4 weeks and all I’ve gotten is 1 phone interview. My closest friend in DC is about to be under contract on a house in Charlottesville, so I will soon not have any friends in DC that weren’t friends with my fiancee first (and by first, I mean since middle school). And there’s a good chance that in 5 months I will be a newlywed living in a different city from my wife while I look for work. I know it could be worse, but I feel a bit down.
    Rave: My fiancee is great and really supportive and I feel really lucky and happy to be with her.

  • Rave: Definitely woke up on the right side of the bed this morning! So smiley!
    Rant: Also definitely skipped my workout for the fourth day in a row. Not good, not good. Must get back into the routine, gah!
    Rave: Just bought tickets to the Neon Trees/Smallpools concert in July!
    Rave/Question: Making plans to take a four day trip in mid-August with two friends. We’re trying not to spend too much money and love outdoorsey things but want a real escape (the last time we considered a trip like this it was renting a treehouse in the middle of nowhere NC that could only be reached by kayak). It’ll be the last time the three of us will be together for at least a year so it’ll be memorable regardless but I want it to be something special…any suggestions?

    • I like Lost River, WV. It’s very quiet, but there’s a state park nearby with swimming, trails, and horseback riding. It’s beautiful out there and I’m guessing rentals wouldn’t be too expensive. It’s only two hours from DC.

    • Camping in Assoteague with the horsies?

      • Camp sites are usually booked up 6 to 8 months in advance. Also, the heat and horseflies are BRUTAL out there in August. No shade at all.

        • Reservations for campsites are taken 6 months in advance, not 8. You definitely need to bring shade things, but while there might be some horseflies, I’d hardly call them brutal. (I’ve camped there every 4th of July for 26 years. )

    • If you’re into camping – camp on Assateague Island National Park. Even with just 4 people I would suggest you rent one of the 5 group campsites – (it still isn’t expensive) so you’ll have lots of space and privacy. It is a lot of work, but very cool to wake up actually on the beach (just behind the dunes) and have campfires on the beach at night. Plus dogs and drink are allowed.

      Otherwise this place in Front Royal is stunning – though might be more expensive than you want – also August is nearly full already. http://www.vrbo.com/321691#

      • Assateague Island National Park is basically booked entirely for every weekend throughout the month of August. I couldn’t believe it when I booked a reservation this morning! We had to settle on a Sunday-Tuesday stay for a walk-in tent site. I mean, it’s very beautiful and totally worth taking a vacation day or two to stay during the week, but I wasn’t expecting that this early! Lesson learned for 2015!

      • Rave: I absolutely love my new apartment in Adams Morgan! The natural light is gorgeous, and sunset looks so pretty with the National Cathedral in the distance. The location is perfect and my commute takes 10 minutes to downtown.

        Rant: We rescued our dog from WHS about a year ago, and he has been barking while he adjusts to the new apartment. We’ve only lived here for a week or so. We used to live in a two BR apt with a roommate who was home during the day to keep the dog company, so this is the first time we’ve had an issue with barking while we are at work (between 9am-4pm). We live directly next to the elevator, which doesn’t help. He doesn’t bark at all once we’re home though, and we’ve stayed in the past two weekends.

        One of our new neighbors decided to slip an anonymous note under our door saying that they will go to the property managers and the DC Police Department to have us kicked out because my dog barking is violating their “right to quiet habitation.” They signed it “Tenants of the Building.” There’s only probably 4 other tenants on my floor, so I can probably figure out who wrote the letter. The building is 75% vacant after remodeling and a change in ownership. The property managers are striving to make it a “pet friendly” building, so I was hoping that neighbors would be more understanding in the first week. I went to Petco immediately after and bought a collar and an egg that are supposed to train the dog not to bark. I went to the property managers and gave them a heads up. I wrote a letter back to “Tenants” apologizing, explaining the situation, and saying I would love to grab coffee with them to make it up to them and I look forward to getting to know my neighbors. They ripped it down off my door. It sucks cause I’m trying to be proactive and accommodating, but they don’t know that. The dog will stop barking as soon as he adjusts within the next week or two! I wish people, especially fellow city dwellers, would be more friendly and willing to have up-front discussions about things that bother them. It’s so easy to knock on my door! Or at least leave your name and apartment number on the damn note if that’s how you’re going to go about it.

        • Sorry to hear that…not a very good welcome to Adams Morgan. So I live on Biltmore and welcome to Adams Morgan! It is not the cesspool everyone says it is!

  • Rave: In Redondo Beach for a series of interviews including., possibly, the Big Guy.
    Rant: My face is breaking out. What am I, 17? What is this, prom night?

  • binpetworth

    Rave: Been interviewing candidates for several openings at my office and they have all been stellar. Hard to make a choice.
    Comment: All of you jobseekers who don’t end up getting the position after an interview, please know there’s not necessarily anything you could have done to improve your odds. Sometimes it feels like a coin flip on the hiring side; I’d hire everybody if we had the means!

  • Wondering how my fellow gardeners survived the cold. I went on a major buying spree the past weekend, and now some of my sweet potato vines are looking dreadful (even though in pots, inside my back porch). Peony’s leaves are curling in as well…

    • Put some pots over my tomatoes and peppers last night, and they seemed fine this morning. I left them out in the open air when I left for work per WaPo’s guidance, but it was still super cold. Worried, fingers crossed.

    • Several DC springs have taught me to wait until late April or early May for the initial big garden buy of the season. Last year, it wasn’t so much the cold as the CONSTANT torrential rain that drowned most of my sprouts and sun plants. Your choice is to wait out the unpredictable April weather, or accept that mother nature will cull your crop if you plant it this early.

      • I think I’ve been lucky so far… I’ve only gardened here for a few years, and none have been as cold (or cold as late in the season) as this year. I bought plants last week based more on my recollection and – let’s face it – my ardent desire to start working, than on the actual weather. I let the joy of 80 degree days lull me into false hope!

    • Ugh I went on a major buying spree last weekend too, but thankfully it was mainly hardier plants like liriope that should do fine. I was saving veggie/herb shopping for this weekend when I have time to get out of the city. I left the house before it was light out this morning, so I haven’t been able to asses any damage…hoping everything fared well!

    • I haven’t planted much, only one 4×12 bed and about 6 pots, but everything survived. I covered my pea plants last night and brought in the pots. Even though I’m in the city, the microclimate of my backyard had frozen puddles:(

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Tiny Kitty wakes me up too early for breakfast. I’m not used to this having to feed at certain times stuff. All my other cats were grazers, but Tiny Kitty is a piggy and eats all the food. How do I switch her to night time only feedings?
    Rave: Tiny Kitty is the sweetest darn cat ever. I don’t care that she wakes me up because she’s so cute and sweet, really really sweet.
    Rave: I’m in love with my new(ish) kitty cat.
    Rant: Still haven’t figured out a way to smuggle her to work.

    • For a moment I misread that last bit as “to snuggle her to work.” 🙂

    • Get one of those feeders that works on a timer.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I think that is what I’m going to have to do. Luckily, so far all she does is lick my nose/toe/arm once and then stares at me until I get up. It’s the staring that gets me 🙂

        • Can you turn over so you don’t feel her staring as much? I’d have a hard time with a pet that makes me get up before I’m ready to get up!

          • Emmaleigh504

            She’s smart and moves to the other side of the bed 🙂 Sometimes I knock her off the bed, but that takes more effort than I want to exert. I think the auto feeder is the best plan.

        • My cat did this too, but I just ignore her. She eventually gave up and now lets me sleep. The key is to not reinforce the behavior you don’t want by giving in. Auto feeder was out for me, not removing the only reason she acknowledges my existence!

          • Emmaleigh504

            Donna is very loving, so I dont mind if a machine feeds her. I do worry it will make a noise and still wake me up. I’m a super light sleeper. She’s snuggling with me now (mostly b/c she thinks the computer is her toy).

  • Rave: My phone and fitbit both survived their unintentional dunking this past weekend when I went after my creek-roaming dog.
    Neither rant nor rave: So much rain yesterday! My rain gauge was overflowing (capacity of 4″).

  • Also – POPville – I have friends visiting from Wisconsin for a week at the end of the month – girlfriend has a conference, so her husband and daughter are spending time with baby and me. What shouldn’t we miss? What food should I make sure they have besides Bens Chili Bowl which we will skip?

    • Drum circle in Meridian Hill Park.

    • That sounds like a nice time for the arboretum. Also, right now you can watch the Smithsonian staff unpacking and cataloging their new T Rex bones and Natural History Museum, which is also a great museum. But on the mall I really like the Sculpture Garden and tend to skip a lot of the other stuff. I like the portrait gallery and American art museums because the building is beautiful and you’re in a more bustling area.
      How old is the daughter? That might influence your choices.

    • Lghthearted rant: the term ‘girlfriend’ when it’s used to mean “female friend”. I just read your rant about 10 times trying to make sense of the fact that the woman you’re dating is married with a kid, AND she’s bringing them to town to spend time with you and your baby. Obviously none of that made sense to me so I was trying to figure out which part I was misunderstanding….Why not just say “friend”???

      • As a lesbian this drives me crazy too. My preferred method of coming out to someone is to casually mention my girlfriend, but people hear what they want to hear (“Wow, you own a house with a friend?” “That’s so nice that you let your friend use your car!”) and it makes the situation so much more awkward.
        Fortunately it’s mostly older people that use the term, so it should be dying out soon.

        • well, do you own a house with a friend, or a lover?

        • Seriously? I use the term “girlfriend” ALL THE TIME to describe a friend who’s a girl, and I’m 30. I have no intentions of axing this term anytime soon. I’m a BW, so perhaps this is an issue outside of my demographic, but it’s not at all uncommon for folks in my circle to use that terminology.

          • My grandmother used to say ladyfriend when referring to my friends who are female (I’m female too). I always found that strange. Especially when I was a teenager or in college.

        • As another lesbian, +1. Just say “friend,” people.

        • justinbc

          I’m fairly certain the term girlfriend is not going out of date anytime soon.

        • Um, you think it’s “fortunate” that people will be dying soon so that you don’t have to be a tiny bit more explicit in describing your relationship to people? Gulp.

        • Yeah I’ve found that if I use the term girlfriend to describe my SO (especially to people over 40 it seems), they think I mean female friend. I have just taken to using the term partner- even though it kind of makes me cringe- because most people understand what is meant by it.

      • it doesn’t really matter if you understand the exact nature of their relationship.

    • justinbc

      Here’s my old go-to list:
      It’s missing anything that would have opened in ’13 or ’14, but still pretty reliable. What food things are they actually open to? I love DC’s Ethiopian options, but it’s definitely not for everyone.

    • crab cakes.

    • sorry, I didn’t mean to confuse lesbians. My sister is a lesbian and she just says “wife”.

      So my FRIENDS are pretty food picky – no Indian (no Rasika…seriously?) and we both have kids. They love mexican so our “date night” spot is, I think, either El Centro (walkable) or we might just do Lauriol – ugh, I know, but generally a good cheap place to spend time with friends. Plus if the weather is nice, you can’t beat outside there.

      I was also thinking Shake Shack for the middle of the day when we are near the portrait gallery. Also Union Market. I did the botanical gardens last time my friend – of the female type – was here, but that was YEARS ago. I think that might be enjoyable to the 18 month old. Maybe the Saturday they are here, do Eastern Market. There are also loads of story times and all that we could do. Plus a tour of the Pentagon.

      Their daughter is 18 months old. My kid will be almost 6 months (oy vey!), so that limits things except that he can sleep in the stroller. He does need to eat every 5 seconds though (or so it seems). It’s more of a difficulty at restaurants. I’ll probably cook one night.

      • I’ve thought about just saying “wife” even though we’re not married so it’s untrue. I suppose it’s the least confusing option though.

    • This is a hilarious thread. “Nother lesbian here, and I thought the same thing when she mentioned her girlfriend. It really doesn’t bother me though. In fact, it’s rather sweet. The discussion has gone on for eons about how we in the LGBT community should refer to our significant others. Girlfriend? OK, we’ve been dating but haven’t moved in. Partner? (Kate Clinton had a funny schtick about her “li’l pardner”). Now we can legally add wife to our S.O. lexicon. Still searching for that perfect word for situations leading up to wife/husband.

      However, I am still bothered by people making reference to a “girl” when clearly she is a grown woman.

      • I agree. It doesn’t bother me when straight women use the term “girlfriend” to refer to their female friends, though it can be a bit confusing at times. It’s even more confusing when straight couples refer to each other as “partner,” which seems to be a growing trend. Again, it doesn’t bother me, but just adds a bit of confusion. I do think “girlfriend” implies a more casual relationship when you’re referring to a same-sex couple. I say “partner” since we’ve been together a long time, own property together, etc. (FWIW I think partner is a pretty silly term too, so I give up!).

        • Totally agree on the straight couples using partner thing. Makes me do a double take. I think I might feel a little possessive about that term. LOL!

        • justinbc

          “I say “partner” since we’ve been together a long time, own property together, etc.”
          I am not a lesbian, but I typically use this term (opposed to girlfriend) for the exact same reason.

          • Makes sense. Once you start doing things like sharing bank accounts and signing contracts together you’re basically business partners (in the business of a romantic relationship).

          • Yeah totally. I think more and more straight couples are either delaying marriage or not getting married at all and they’re just looking for a term to describe more of a commitment than “girlfriend” implies. It’s just a sign of the changing times!

          • life partner.

          • justinbc

            You also get really screwed by the Alternative Minimum Tax if you’re married. My boss is getting a divorce strictly for tax purposes.

          • Huh? I’ve heard of people getting married FOR tax benefits, not the opposite! Couldn’t they just file separately rather than jointly instead of getting a divorce?

          • You get screwed on taxes if you’re married and you both earn around the same amount. If only one of you works, or if one of you makes a lot more than than the other, you actually see a tax benefit from marriage.

          • Oh, and being married and filing separately is the worst thing you can do. The tax hierarchy for couples who make roughly equal salaries: single > married filing jointly > married filing separately.

          • Interesting. I had no idea. I always thought getting married meant you get a break on taxes (e.g. capital gains tax is capped at $500K profit for a couple versus $250K for an individual). Also what constitutes “a lot more”? I make roughly $15K more than my partner, but I don’t really see that as a lot.

          • It really depends on how much you each make. If you’re both relatively high earners, progressive marginal tax rates are the main cause of the problem. This is overly simplified, but here’s an example: Say you each earn $80,000/year. That would put each of you in the 25% marginal tax bracket if you were single. But if you’re married, a combined income of $160,000 puts you in the 28% marginal tax bracket. That’s the so-called “marriage penalty.” Conversely, if you make $100,000/year and you’re single, you’re in the 28% bracket. If you’re married and your spouse doesn’t work, you’re in the 25% bracket, which is the same bracket you’d be in if each of you were single and made $50,000/year. With the AMT the problem is that many of the limits that bring you within the AMT aren’t simply doubled for married couples. So you might not be subject to the AMT when you’re single but could be when you get married.

      • I was confused too., does that mean I’m a lesbian? I’m pretty sure I’m a guy. I need to figure things out.

      • Even “wife” doesn’t work for everyone. I recently read an article about Edie Windsor, and she said that calling Thea Spyer her “wife” would have been the greatest possible insult, and “spouse” was a better choice.

        • oh god.
          i think we need more than one word to describe people in our lives, if we are really going to concern ourselves about it.

  • Rave: I am way too excited about my beet, goat cheese, and arugula on sour dough lunch.
    Rave: I’m also oddly pumped for my trip to the gym today.
    Rant: career confusion- will a niche masters be good for me? Do I really feel like throwing some of my own money at it? Do I want to spend my free time on it? Ugh. And I just found out our tuition reimbursement program has changes drastically since I used it for my previous masters….the one I’m still paying off and not really using.

    • Don’t do it if you’re still paying off another one. At this point, I wouldn’t consider another graduate degree unless it’s 100% paid for. Especially if you have a family/kids and a house.

      • Yeah, it seems like I could do it and only pay a little out of pocket, maybe a few thousand dollars, but I’d have to go to central Florida at least twice :-/
        I have another coworker in my group who I think is the same level as me and she is starting this program in the fall. My boss mentioned that she is doing it and I wonder if there’s a competitive aspect there, like I need it to not get passed over. I don’t know.

        • What is this master’s program in? Will it advance your career either where you’re working now or open up future opportunities? If it costs a few thousand dollars (and you can afford it), and if you have the time for the coursework then why not?
          I have one master’s and have often thought about getting another, or going for a Phd, but I’d want someone else to pay for most of the costs.

          • Pharmaceutical Regulation, so pretty niche.
            I really need to ask my boss if it will advance my career here. I was so flummoxed when he suggested it that I didn’t have the presence of mind to ask that.
            Will it advance my career elsewhere? That’s really dependent on where I want to go and how “trapped” I feel on the pharmaceutical track- I don’t make drugs, my company doesn’t make drugs, I work at a non-profit, but I’m always the “pharmaceutical candidate” when I look elsewhere.
            I think I could feasible do it for about $4000 out of pocket, but that’s not nothing. And I would owe the company one year after completion, which means I’d have to pay back around $10,000 if I left before that (we can get up to $10k a year for tuition, but have to stay one year after).

  • Rave: I woke up in a much better mood this morning.
    Rant: Party planning. I’m over planning things, although I am sure I will enjoy the end result this summer.
    Rave: One more day of work. Then, I get to leave DC for a long weekend. Hanging in.

  • Rave: Love this weather. Crisp, clear, sunny day. No sweat.
    Rave: Love black squirrels.
    Rant: Get so sick of people who complain about “cold” weather and people who hate squirrels.

  • Rant: My husband’s cat is the WORST. Such an a-hole!
    Rave: He now sleeps in the basement and it feels so good! No more running around like an a-hole from 2am onwards, knocking everything off the tables, jumping on the door handles. The final straw was when he went into the babys room and woke him up after a long night of teething. I love the basement cat 🙂

    • Was the cat like this even before the baby came along? I ask because cats tend to act out/have extra energy if you’re not spending enough time playing with them and exercising them daily.

      • He is 16 and has always had quite the personality. I think the baby only exaserbated this. We have a 2nd cat who is 4, so they play together some, and I try to give him as much attention as I can in the evenings. But honestly, it’s tough. I had to throw a plant away because taking care of 1 more living thing was just too much!

    • justinbc

      Oh man, if you thought he was hell before I can only imagine what being relegated to the basement will do to him. Prepare for markings aplenty.

  • Rant: Leaving my current job means that my co-workers have to face a difficult choice on how to replace me. It’s not easy in our office – a zero sum game is being played.
    Rant: Cold. My garden had better survive this.

  • Question: My girlfriend’s brother got a warning ticket for parking his out-of-state vehicle in our neighborhood. He usually stays with his mom in VA, where his car is registered, but he’s also at our house a lot and uses our visitor parking pass. According to the notice he can apply for “frequent visitor” status by bringing in a mortgage/lease and utility bill from his place of residence, but he doesn’t have any of those things since he doesn’t officially live anywhere. What can we do to make sure he doesn’t start getting ticketed for this?

    • Off the top of my head: 1) Find an off-street parking location for him to park in. 2) Tell him to find a place to live so he can apply for ROSA. 3) Tell him to take the metro into town when he’s staying with you.
      The reasoning is that they want you to register your car in DC if you are living here, and if your car is here all the time but you don’t live here, you have to prove that you live somewhere else or they’ll ticket you.

      • None of those solutions would work:

        1) The neighborhood doesn’t have off-street parking, aside from a neighbor possibly renting out their garage, and he can’t afford it anyway (he’s an adjunct professor).
        2) He can’t afford housing of any kind. He only makes something like $500 a month, and that has to cover stuff like food and gas and health insurance.
        3) His mom doesn’t live anywhere near a metro station, and his job is not at all accessible by public transit. Usually he commutes from our house on the days he works because it’s a lot closer. So he has to have the car when he’s here.

        • All fair enough, but I’ll bet he can’t afford tickets and towing fees either. Maybe someone else has a cleverer solution, but maybe he just can’t use your house as a convenient crash pad anymore.
          Just another thought, can he put one of his Mom’s utilities in his name?

    • Are you using the visitor pass they mail you? Get a visitor pass from your local police station instead.

      • Aren’t those only temporary?

      • THe ROSA program is independent form the guest pass program. In other words, it doesn’t matter if you have a visitor pass or not – frequent visits will still get you a warning/ticket (or whatever sanction they use).

    • I’d recommend (at least as a try) providing the DMV with a copy of his mom’s utility bill, a copy of her mortgage/lease/whatever, and a signed statement from her saying that he lives with her.

    • Where is his drivers license issued? where does he receive mail? That is where he lives – even if he isn’t keen on claiming that he lives with his mom and just “stays there.” DMV makes provisions for people like him to get ROSA, he needs his mother to provide the utility bill and a statement that he lives with her. Check out DMV’s ROSA page, it’s very clear.

    • The notice specifically stated that he needed a lease and a utility bill in his name, but I guess he can try bringing in his mom’s stuff and seeing what they say. That’s what I suggested he do, but I know DMVs can be unwilling to do anything if they don’t recieve precisely the right paperwork, so I wanted to make sure he wasn’t wasting his time or that there’s not a more guaranteed solution.

    • Since his car is registered at your mom’s place – I assume he is a VA resident. Have him write out a lease with your mom. Make it short and simple and he could set monthly rent at $1 or whatever. That should work.

      • He still has to get a utility bill transferred to him, but yeah, that should work. A lot of effort when he’s not doing anything wrong though. What’s the point of giving us visitor passes if our visitors can’t use them?

        • He can, and will have to continue to do so after he registers for ROSA. As posted above the point of ROSA is to confirm that frequent “visitors” are not in fact living there.

    • Wait, is this the brother of your female friend or your female significant other’s brother? Because the answer to your question is different for each.

    • “Recurring Visitors (frequent short term visits) are to report to any DMV service location, except for our Inspection Station, and prove non-DC residency by presenting their out-of-state issued driver license or identification card, copy of their original lease, deed or mortgage statement and a current utility bill (issued within 60 days) representing the same address and the valid registration card for the vehicle in question. All documents must be in the name of the registered owner of the vehicle.

      If you reside with someone and the lease, deed or mortgage statement is not in your name, you must provide all of the following as proof of non-DC residency:

      A statement from the individual attesting to the fact that you reside at their home
      Copy of the lease, deed or mortgage statement and a current utility bill (issued within 60 days) in the individual’s name
      A copy of the individual’s driver license or identification card issued from their jurisdiction reflecting the same address
      You may also mail the required documents to: DC Department of Motor Vehicles, Attn: ROSA Exemption, PO Box 90120, Washington, DC 20090. If mailing, your ROSA exemption receipt will be sent to you within 15 days. The ROSA exemption is good for a one year period.”

      • Seriously. It’s like people are trying to erect roadblocks for themselves where none exist.

          • I’m the OP. I didn’t know about ROSA because I’ve never been in that situation or known anyone who has. I was just going by what was stated on the notice, which seemed pretty straightforward and didn’t address unusual situations like his. I just assumed it mirrored what was on the DMV website and was not aware it had alternative requirements listed there.
            Many thanks to those who were actually helpful.

          • Actually Anonymous at 3:10, YOU’RE the one creating a problem that doesn’t exist, by being virtue of being the problem. So go away.

          • Judging by all the different responses, it’s not as obvious to everyone else as it is to you.

  • Rave: Really getting into running and am feeling myself getting stronger and more in-shape every day.
    Rant: Getting sick of my normal playlists/music. Anyone have any suggestions of artists/genres/songs/playlists that get them motivated and are good for running? I’ll take anything at this point.

    • I listen to 90s DMX when I run. Not really a huge DMX fan in other instances, but it gets me going when I run.

    • download the Soundcloud app on your phone and follow different users. I follow “edmtunesTV” and play the different tracks on my long runs

    • I usually listen to indie/alt/punk rock…but I LOVE to work out with reggaeton. I love the songs and the tempo is great to run to, it feels like dancing, and you can’t let the beat down 🙂

    • anonymouse_dianne

      Try Bondi Beach FM. Australia is a day ahead of us and if you login right now it is the middle of the night and the music is super cool.

    • Thanks everyone!!

  • Rave: Just got a call about a great job interview, very excited!
    Rant: They want me to come in tomorrow morning. I’m nervous that I won’t be prepared, it’s so soon!

    • I always take the earliest interview date possible. I figure that I already did much of the research before/while submitting the application. Going in shortly after getting the notification just takes away the time that I would otherwise be using to get nice and nervous.
      Good luck!

  • Rave: Iv been sleeping with my head on the opposit side of where the headboard would be, i think iv been sleeping better (was recommended by someone to try this). Submitted a great job application for an econometrics analyst job at booz allen, really really want this job!
    Rant: I feel like i need some sort of change (job, relationship status, ect) something….things are getting prett stagnent but summer is coming and i do have bonaroo and a euro trip planned to get me out of this funk

  • Rant: I got caught in the deluge yesterday and got totally drenched.
    Rave: At least my shoes didn’t go squish squish.
    Rave: Enjoyed the lists of beach reads here yesterday. Right now I’ve got a formidable stack of books by Jared Diamond in my pile, along with “Americanah” — it will be good to have some lighter options too.
    Rave: Flirting with trying a Paleo-ish diet.
    Rave: Flirting!

    • One more Rave: Charoset. Which has edged out matzo brei and kosher for Passover Coke as my favorite spring treat.

      • gotryit

        +1 for charoset. Unfortunately, my 2 year old is allergic to nuts. So I indulged while people were over, but gave up all the leftovers.

  • rant: {trying really hard not to modify this noun with a pile of profanity} Microsoft PowerPoint.

  • Rave: Butternut squash chili! Probably the last batch I’ll make until next fall.
    Rant: So many of my favorite foods make me painfully bloated for days after eating them.

    • Oh man, I can’t stay away from some foods regardless of how much pain they cause. For example, I am mildly allergic to strawberries; they make my tongue swell up and my cheeks itch. This didn’t stop me from eating a bunch of dried strawberries yesterday. Why so delicious whyyyyyy!

      • Emmaleigh504

        It’s shrimp for me. Hives all over, but benedryl fixes it so I still eat it. One day I’ll die from it, but I’ll die happy 🙂

        • For me pretty much anything with a decent amount of fiber makes me bloated. So that includes beans, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. I’m also lactose intolerant and vegetarian and allergic to mollusks. So I can eat Wonder Bread and Oreos and be fine, or I can eat better stuff and be bloated all the time.

        • Emilie, I used to have the same problem with getting hives from shrimp. Like you, I just kept eating it and then downing some benadryl. After a time, I stopped getting hives! Not sure this is a medically sound (or safe) method of increasing one’s tolerance to an allergen, but it worked for me. Maybe it will work with strawberries someday…

          • Emmaleigh504

            I find that the quantity and where the shrimp comes matters. Obviously, the more I eat the more likely I will get hives. For some reason I’m more allergic to Gulf Coast shrimp than shrimp from other places. So I try to just not eat lots and hope I build up a tolerance 🙂
            Don’t tell my dad I still eat shrimp, it upsets him a lot b/c he’s sure I will die from it. (He is not the worrier in the family, either.)

  • Rave: I DVR’d DTWS this week and just watched it last night Wow, there were some great performances! I think Charlie should have gotten all 10s though. And I have a huge crush on James!

  • epric002

    rant: can’t seem to find any solid, colorful pencil skirts. they were everywhere last year, and everything is boring navy, khaki, white, black this year. lame.
    rant: my bridesmaid dress is too small. the wedding is this weekend. thank god i didn’t listen to the measuring lady who wanted me to order a full size smaller. yeesh.
    rave: bday tomorrow! bro & gf home tonight! wedding this weekend!

  • Rant: I was using Cold Turkey to block distracting websites (like this one 😉 ) but now my office’s antivirus software is blocking the program. Does anyone have recommendations for something else I can try, other than sheer willpower?

    • I used the google chrome add-on “Stayfocusd” while I was studying for the bar. But for god’s sake don’t enable the “nuclear option” on it.

  • RANT: Was rudely blown off over email while asking for suggestions to make myself more competitive for a job promotion.

    RAVE: Bit the bullet and signed up for a yoga retreat.

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