GDoN “Nothing left to be done” edition (multiple reader request)

by Prince Of Petworth March 24, 2016 at 12:30 pm 60 Comments

826 Allison Street Northwest

This house is located at 826 Allison Street, Northwest. The listing says:

“Nothing left to be done, brand new everything. A chiefs kitchen, Top of the line bathrooms. Beautiful hard wood floors. An In-law suite for in-laws or friends. Windows, doors, floors, HVAC, recessed lighting, two car garage.”


You can see more photos here.

This 5 bed/3.5 bath is going for $1,085,000.


  • JS

    There are some…questionable….design choices on this one. Buyers at 1.1 million probably have better options.

    • ET

      I agree. With that much money there are many more options.

      • andy

        but there’s nothing left to be done!!!

    • I need a house

      Really? Where? What? My budget is $1.3MM and all I find is stuff in LeDroit, Bloomingdale and Petworth and I keep getting outbid.

      • west_egg

        816 Taylor?
        1304 Park
        3161 18th
        1839 Ontario


        • HaileUnlikely

          If you want to make darn well sure you don’t get outbid, find something considerably lower than your max, bid on it, and include a mad huge escalation clause. Most people looking in the $900K range probably aren’t willing to escalate to $1.3M. That of course has some fairly obvious negatives as well, but that is probably a better way to avoid getting outbid than placing offers on things that are already priced near or at your limit.

  • Formerly ParkViewRes

    What…what did they use as the “railing” on that balcony? Siding? It’s seriously ugly. They even tiled the ceiling in the master bathroom!!! And over a million dollars?!?! I understand it’s a big house, but umm no not a good deal.

    • textdoc

      Ditto on all counts.

  • Dan

    CHIEF’s kitchen!

    To the listing agent: please hire me to proof your ad copy. I work cheap.

    • HaileUnlikely

      I work chiep too.

      • textdoc

        Actual LOL.

    • AnonV2

      Ain’t America great? Somebody with 8th grade writing skills is going to collect $30K+ in part for creating that listing. I never would have thought to clarify that in-law suites are for use by in-laws!

      As for the actual listing, using high end finishes doesn’t mean anything if you apply them incorrectly or haphazardly. Soooooo many things in this house don’t make sense. They spent money on the things that don’t matter, and ignored relatively cheap things that would have made the space more livable.

      • a

        I also like how the agent felt the need to specify that the listing includes windows, doors, and floors.

        • textdoc

          My guess is that they meant that the windows, doors, and floors were all brand-new, but omitted some crucial wording.

    • dcd

      Regardless of how it is spelled, a “chef’s kitchen” has become the most overused, meaningless phrase in real estate. Slapping some granite and mid-range appliances in a kitchen does not make it a chef’s kitchen, it makes it a kitchen for someone who doesn’t know squat about cooking or cooking tools/implements, but thinks it looks pretty.

      • HaileUnlikely

        I have butcher block countertops, which I love. Does that make it a butcher’s kitchen? (I don’t care, I’m going to call it that anyway)

        • Don’t chefs usually use stainless steel? Would that make granite counters the choice of rockers?

          • Anonymous

            Butcher blocks are unsanitary vectors of bacteria. You only see them used in a restaurant kitchen for breaking down meat that will be cooked. No uncooked foods would ever be chopped on them.
            I would never want them in my home kitchen. Impossible to sterile.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Question for anon: do you chop foods directly on your countertop (whatever it is made of)? I don’t, and I honestly don’t know very many people who do. I don’t like granite or marble because it’s too easy to break stuff (I don’t mean the break the counter, I mean break dishes and such) if you accidentally drop them or set them down too hard (I’m not the most graceful dude you’ll ever encounter in a kitchen) and I just generally like the look and feel of the butcher block. I would not actually use them to chop stuff, though – I just use a cutting board.

    • Anony

      Agent lists for over $1M and can’t even take the time to proofread. Sad that this lack of professionalism will still earn him/her $30k. Amazing what some of these clowns make

    • stcohi

      Ha! Totally agree. Is it wrong the judge a property based on the listing agent’s poor spelling, because I do. I saw someone write that the neighborhood was “Tacoma” park recently. Come on…

    • ANON DC’er

      LOLLOLOLOL!!!!!! Hilarious — made me literally LOL :)

  • Dan

    For $1.1mil, seller should fix that crappy rear “driveway.” 2-3 thousand should do it for such a small space.

    • AnonJohn

      I had the same thought. “Nothing left to be done”???

  • HaileUnlikely

    Developer bought this house in July 2013 for $437K. At least they took their time with the reno, I guess.

    • Nonny

      On purpose? Or does that indicate cash flow or any number of other issues encountered along the way…

      • HaileUnlikely

        They did get hit with a stop work order, but that wasn’t until the summer of 2015.
        In case it wasn’t clear, I was being somewhat sarcastic with “at least they took their time.” They took a long time and still produced a turd of a house.

  • PetworthMom

    I know Petworth is going up in price, and this is a big house at 5 beds, but still seems a bit high.

    But it, at least, is better than the $1.395m tile house from last month. https://www.popville.com/2016/01/gdon-porcelain-tile-work-edition-multiple-readers-request/ Though looks like that house just cut its price by $200,000.

  • anon

    I spot Ikea finishes. For that price I’d certainly expect something more high end. Just a lot of unfortunate design choices. Also, why did they leave the iron security door on the front when there is a huge bay window right there. It just looks off to me. Might as well leave your door unprotected if you’re going to have a huge window like that right next to it.

  • Kevin McAllister

    Ewww, Buzz your bathroom – WOOF!

    • distritera

      +1 haha!

  • pokerface

    I can’t…. I just can’t. Good luck on the appraisal buyer.

  • ftw

    Ha, excellent URL again! They must be high. And yes, lots left to be done–let’s start with that ungodly siding on the balcony railing (what?!!?) and end with that befuddling driveway.

    • textdoc


  • anon

    Eh. It is metro walkable, and you have easy access to Upshur St and Kennedy Street (looking ahead a little bit), but if I had that kind of money to play with for a rowhome I’d hold out for something much better.

    As an aside, I just don’t get the whole “let’s take a Wardman and knock down the interior walls” gambit. It looks cheesy and eliminates one of the intrinsic selling points — the old historic charm. I also get the sense that the preserved ones go for more. Just weird.

    • anonymous

      I think the same on both counts – cheesy, and people like the preserved ones better. But developers (who likely know the preserved ones go for more, even if they can’t recognize their design ideas are cheesy) do it because it is cheaper to rip out walls then to preserve anything. Cheaper and faster. This house’s slow renovation aside, they make their money on cheap and fast renovations – I’m often surprised at how fast. Fast means less time in carrying costs. It’s a shame – the interior fabric of the city’s historic housing stock is being destroyed, and it has value. It is truly a shame when it isn’t what most buyers would prefer to buy.

    • petworther

      So strictly speaking I don’t think this is a Wardman (which would imply it was actually Wardman designed). There’s a lot of variation on the floor plans of DC row houses. Some are terribly designed and knocking down the walls makes a lot of sense.

  • Once again, Dan hit it out of the park with this URL

    • dcd

      I have started clicking on threads in which I have no interest just to look at the URL.

  • So, not only does the new owner have to repaint the whole house, they also have to repaint ALL of the trim?
    Who made these finish decisions? If I’m spending $1M I am not buying a cherry cabinets, black counter top kitchen or tonal wall and trim colors that vary by room.

    • Hill Denizen

      And knock tile off of CEILINGS. There go a few more buckets of paint and then some.

    • CS

      Right? I have the same finishes in the kitchen in my sub $250K condo that was renovated in 2007/2008. Granted my kitchen is way smaller, and I happen to like it compared to some of the other stuff I looked at, but if I had a $1M plus budget (in Petworth), I would expect more out of new construction.

  • Tim

    Over $1M, no yard, and clunky design choices. That works in some neighborhoods, but if you have $1M in Petworth / 16th St Heights why in the world would you pick this place? You can take your pick of SFH with yards in the area for this kind of money.

    I love that it says “Nothing left to be done.”, but there’s a bunch of shit out behind the garage the needs to be cleaned up.

  • Truxtoner

    I mean, for the square footage and proximity to metro, it’s a million dollar house probably. Or pretty close to it. I imagine it’ll go for under a million, but probably not by much.

    That doesn’t change the fact the renovation is garbage and there’s plenty of work left to do.

    • Boochanon

      Awesome – can’t wait to undercut these guys by listing my comparable (oh except for my corner lot and actual fenced-in yard) home a block away for a cool $999k. That would constitute a ~34% value increase just in the 16 months I’ve lived in it!

      I was among the requesters… when I went to check out the exterior, cops were dealing with someone who had drunkenly driven up on the corner lot’s lawn.

      I don’t think we’ve reached seven figures in my micro-neighborhood yet. But I look forward to being proven wrong.

      • Duponter

        If you paid $730K for a corner lot 2200 square foot house in Petworth, then you definitely got a good deal IMO.

      • Duponter

        Okay – I looked at the map here. Nevermind. I thought this was somewhere else. I’m guessing this is an $850K house. For a million, I’d buy this one first: https://www.redfin.com/DC/Washington/1407-Varnum-St-NW-20011/home/10016363

        • soozles

          I live behind the Varnum house and looked at it on Sunday. Same thing. They ripped out the walls and put in so-so finishes. And they’re asking $970K. Knocked my socks off.

          PoP, I’d love it if you did a GDoN on that one.

  • Anony

    Ha, they listed it for almost exactly DOUBLE what the Zestimate is ($505,500)

  • tke98

    I used to rent on this block and liked it. But even 8 years later, it is not worth the listing price. As others, I am mightily confused about the interior design choices. Also, the picture selection. Did the agent really think the photos he chose were going to convince anyone with a lick of sense that this house is a million dollar home. If so, s/he needs a new career.

  • wdc

    The stove all alone on its tiny little island infuriates me. I would knock a spoon or worse to the floor every. damn. day.

    • Sheik Yerbouti

      At least they included a range hood. Drives me nuts when people put the range in the middle with no ventilation. It gives the impression that it was designed for show rather than for cooking.

  • Anony

    The listing agent claims to be a “Real Estate Appraiser and Realtor for over 25 years”. He might need to appraise this house b/c I don’t see anyone else appraising it at $1M for the buyer.

  • soozles

    I think I’ll spend $100K more and buy the GDoN house from yesterday. I don’t even think these finishes look high end. The windows and doors look pretty cheap.

    • Anon H St


      that house rules

  • MK

    Nothing left to be done except spend another half million restoring all the character they ripped from the house inside and out especially that gentrified gray paint on the exterior.

  • Uptowner

    Tiny backyard, no photos of access to the 3rd floor. No rear egress for basement tenant.

    Also this gem:
    “An In-law suite for in-laws or friends.” and apparently no one else. I think they were hoping this wouldn’t be on the market long, but they are sadly mistaken.

  • V

    I can’t see the photos (for some reason, on PoP I never can) but I can see that big ugly cheap looking bay window in front. I’m guessing not worth the 1 million they’re asking

  • danielle

    horrible – there is much to be done to this house!

  • ***

    This is what happens when you don’t hire a professional who knows how to make intelligent, well thought design decisions. I don’t even know where to start – the kitchen finishes that don’t match, the window molding that’s too large and slams into the ceiling molding, that awkward floating cooktop with no adjacent counter and spotlights drawing attention to the enormous hood. This is literally someone with no design sensibility picking out a selection of “trendy” finishes and cobbling them together. I think the “nothing left to be done” tagline is fitting – there literally isn’t any other trendy design idea they could have incorporated.


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