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Dear PoPville – Ethics for the Rapture?

by Prince Of Petworth May 19, 2011 at 1:30 pm 51 Comments


Photo by PoPville flickr user maria jpeg

“Dear PoPville,

So this Saturday is supposed to be Judgement Day – AKA “The Rapture” when all the Believers get sucked up to heaven. I have some questions. Once my neighbors vanish, am I allowed to go into their houses and take their stuff? Can I just move into an empty raptured house? Do you think I should stay off the Beltway on Sunday? All those empty cars are going to crash! Do Raptured people leave their clothes behind? I know a woman with some dynamite designer clothes – if I follow her around is that considered stalking?

Seriously though (yeah right) are there any end-of-the-world festivities going on this weekend?”

I know Duffy’s (a PoP advertiser) is having a Doomsday happy hour:

DoomsdayHappy Hour!
This Saturday 5pm to 8pm

What a better way to mark the beginning of the end of the World than with a great Happy Hour!

All Beers Half Price til 8pm!
Wings Half Price til 8pm!

Duffy’s Irish Pub
2106 Vermont Ave NW

Anyone know of any other fun doomsday events/specials for Saturday?

  • MichelleRD

    I so needed this laugh today.

  • PG

    Wine in the Woods in Columbia would be a good place to celebrate. Too bad your last drinks would be Maryland wine, but it’s better than nothing.

  • mv

    so essentially Saturday will be a celebration for all the non-crazies left on earth?? I really really hope this end-of-the-world is true!

  • kdogdc

    I believe the Rapture is at 6pm. Someone should tell Duffys tp update their invite. ;)

    • Anonymous

      that’s just when the doors open.

      • mv

        that works on so many levels… aren’t there doors to heaven as well? or does god only refer to them as gates?

        • Anonymous

          i was just thinking it worked on two levels.

          • mv

            okay just 2 then. I was exaggerating.

  • TaylorStreetMan

    What time zone is God operating in? Does he recognize Greenwich Mean? Or, hey, maybe it’s Jerusalem’s time zone! Now I understand!

    • Anonymous

      The rapture has been announced as 6 pm local time. So we’ll have plenty of warning when all the devout Christians start disappearing from Australia and Europe. Oh wait, they don’t have any of those over there.

  • KD

    Maybe after the raptured folks accend there can be peace… There will be no right wing Christian conservatives in politics. The country may get along so much better.

    • houseintherear

      TRUE.

    • Anon

      Not a chance, cause we’ll kill each other fighting over that really twisted porn they’ve been hiding from us.

    • BeerDude

      Meh, instead of them telling me how to live my life, the government can do it even more.

  • WDC

    I think it is ethically permissible to enter the home of a raptured individual and claim their shit, but ONLY if the whole family has been taken up, and ONLY you also adopt their Left Behind pets. Because of course, pets don’t have souls.

    Of course, if you’re so concerned about ethics in this situation, you be getting raptured yourself this weekend. I have friends planning a pre-rapture orgy, because they are concerned that their lives have been too ethical/moral, and they don’t want to get raptured by accident.

    • BF

      That is damn funny.

    • MichelleRD

      Okay, I’m cracking up at the prospect of Rapturites at the Gates of Heaven claiming they’re there by accident.

      I’d say I’m going to Hell for the thought but I’ve been there already. At least a couple of times.

    • mv

      ah-mazinggg :)

    • Goodie-goodie

      “I have friends planning a pre-rapture orgy”

      um…. address, please?

  • victoria
    • dreas

      I so wish I’d thought of this.

  • BF

    Well we may finally get the answer to whether God hates gays. If all the gays are still here, then it is confirmed. If even one gets raptured (I hope its not me!), then it is undeniable proof that God loves gays but only if they are christian.

  • Native American JD

    facebook has an event for post-rapture looting.

    http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121968371215699

  • MichelleRD

    How long does it take to fly up to Heaven? I’m picturing all these people in the sky moaning NOOOOOOooooooooooo!

  • LisaT

    Wait, so the wackos are all leaving on Saturday? Then the Flying Spaghetti Monster is destroying the world on October 21?

    Screw happy hour, that’s a FIVE MONTH LONG PARTY!

  • djdc

    That’s an amazing photo. It looks like the hair on the woman at left is made out of cigarette smoke, which is fantastic. Love the do on the other one too.

  • Fellow Petworthian

    What does one wear to the rapture anyway?

    • Emmaleigh504

      Apparently nothing, your clothes get left behind. I’m wearing a red silk evening gown before I get Raptured b/c it looks good in a puddle on the floor.

      • MSF

        I hope a 2nd party can corroborate this intriguing description.

        • Bond, James Bond

          If anyone is noticing an evening gown puddled – or otherwise – on the floor there’s something seriously wrong. . .

    • victoria

      Tie-on shoes! Otherwise they will fall off as you fly up and conk the rest of us on the head. Hope Christian girls don’t wear stilettos!

  • Mary Kate

    I call dibs on all of Kirk Cameron’s stuff.

  • Anonymous

    what’s the big deal about some old Blondie song?

    • LisaT

      Nice.

  • andy

    Ethics for the rapture: not making fun of some people who are probably mostly nice just because they have strange beliefs.

    • dt

      When your beliefs are ridiculous, expect to be ridiculed.

      That said, I reserve the vast majority of my scorn and contempt for Harold Camping. What he’s doing is Evil (with a capital “E”) and the man has no shame.

      • Edward

        Completely with both points.

        • Edward

          Make that “completely agree with both points.”

      • A hater of hypocrites

        I consider the majority of Orthodox Judaic religious tenets to be ridiculous. May I openly mock them for their beliefs?

        • Anonymous

          wouldn’t bother me.

      • Anonymous

        what has he done?

    • anon

      Try posting some jokes about Islam and see what happens. Or just draw a picture of Muhammed.

      • A hater of hypocrites

        I agree, inasmuch as there is a double standard of acceptability here.

        Hey, PoP – you really think it’s cool that a couple of commenters are ridiculing someone’s religious beliefs?

  • Force Majeure

    I think this is going to completely annex Canada.

  • victoria

    What is this going to do to property values? Thousands of about-to-be-raptured Christians must have already signed over their homes to pagen friends! Market saturation? Now I’m really scared!!

  • Anon

    Mock away

    • Anonymous

      OK, let’s talk tomorrow.

  • niceguy

    Really? 43 post and no one can answer the question:

    “Seriously though (yeah right) are there any end-of-the-world festivities going on this weekend?”

    • Anonymous

      it’d be a bit anti-climactic, no?

    • So, Just Sayin’

      I guess you didn’t see the orgy mentioned above.

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