04/11/14 4:00pm

Photo by PoPville flickr user ep_jhu

The following list was inspired by the masterful words of C. S. Lewis:

“It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.”

However, the list was in no way affected by the consumption of Bulleit Bourbon and ginger ale which by the by is surprisingly more tasty than Makers Mark and ginger ale – anyway the following is what some folks used to warn others about:

13. Don’t go east of 16th Street, NW

12. Don’t go east of 14th Street, NW

11. Don’t go east of Georgia Ave (or anywhere near Georgia Ave)

10. Don’t drink the water (this might actually still be true, I can’t remember if I have lead lines or not…)

9. Don’t go to Meridian Hill Park

8. Don’t walk home from the 9:30 club

7. Don’t walk home from HR 57 (the old Logan Circle location)

6. Don’t go east or north of Lincoln Park

5. Don’t take the bus

4. Don’t look anyone directly in the eye

3. Don’t go to the Movies at Union Station

2. Don’t ride the Green Line

1. Don’t cross Kojo Nnandi, he has the memory of an elephant and will bury you

04/04/14 4:20pm

Photo by PoPville flickr user ep_jhu

The operative word is random… The consumption of the delicious Bloody Mary’s from The Fainting Goat in no way affected the make up of this list:


13. Grit/Glass

12. Hot Shoppes/Sweetgreen

11. Marion Barry/Muriel Bowser

10. Tom Sietsema/Jessica Sidman

9. SW Waterfront/SW Waterfront

8. Porch/Roof Deck

7. Formstone/Open floor plan

6. Fugazi/Dead Women

5. Washington Post/Washington Post Express

4. Beltway/Bike Lanes

3. Citronelle/Rose’s Luxury

2. Petey Greene/Derek McGinty

1. Jim Vance/Jim Vance


“Dear PoPville,

Anyone know the guy that dances in front of the DC Housing Finance Agency (815 Florida Ave NW)?

Curious if he has a story– Has he discovered the friendliest way of protesting, ever? Is he just an avid dancer and likes the reflective doors so he can critique his dance moves? Does he dance on this corner because the surrounding bars already have music playing so his car’s music doesn’t really cause any additional disturbance to the neighborhood?

Almost every time I pass by on the weekend he is blasting music from his car and having a personal dance party. Always seems happy.

Wondering if anyone knows what the story is?”

Ed. Note: For those who are going to say, why don’t you just ask him, well not everyone feels comfortable doing that. Period. No need to debate. There we got that out of the way. But some people do feel comfortable interacting with strangers doing unusual/fun/interesting things, so for those folks – anyone ever chat him?

03/28/14 4:20pm

Photo by PoPville flickr user ep_jhu

You can see Part 1 here. The consumption of multiple bottles of Dogfish Head Aprihop in no way affected the make up of this list:

13. the block of 12th Place NW that is directly south of Florida Ave
12. 900 blocks of Westminster and French St NW
11. 1800 block of 13th St NW
10. Hobart Street in Mt. Pleasant
9. Monroe between 14th & 16th NW
8. 1700 block of Ingleside Terrace NW
7. Any block of Swann! (except 1800 or 1600)
6. 900 block of North Carolina Ave, SE
5. 1300 block of Kenyon St, NW
4. 10 and M St, NW
3. any block in Georgetown
2. any block in Cleveland Park
1. The oft overlooked, by some, fine streets that make up the quadrant north of East Capitol Street and east of North Capitol Street.

03/21/14 4:20pm

Photo by PoPville flickr user ep_jhu

I’ll be honest, I’ve recently rediscovered dark and stormy drinks and their consumption may have influenced the make up of this list. Nevertheless, these streets are pretty freaking awesome and you could probably venture a few blocks north, south, east and/or west of the ones mentioned here and be pretty impressed:

13. 4400 block of Illinois Ave, NW

12. 1300 block of 4th Street, SW

11. 600 block of South Carolina Ave, SE

10. 2300 block of 1st Street, NW

9. 1200 block of 10th St, NW

8. 100 block of U Street, NW

7. 1700 block of Church St, NW.

6. 700 block of North Carolina SE

5. Unit block of Quincy Pl, NE

4. 1400 block of Vermont Ave, NW

3. 2800 block of Davenport Street, NW

2. 1300 block of Corcoran Street, NW

1. East Capitol Street, SE from the Capitol to Lincoln Park

03/14/14 4:20pm

Photo by PoPville flickr user ep_jhu

While there are certain things I love about the District, I also get tired of wearing rose colored glasses from time to time. The following was edited by that bastard Wilhelm von Humboldt. You are highly encouraged to (re)watch the Pharrell Williams HAPPY DC video to restore your equilibrium after reading. In no way did the consumption of gin and tonic with a splash of campari influence the make up of this list:

13. The Mall and Monuments – an easy one – when is the last time you’ve visited the Mall, seriously? And if you do it’s all mucked up with tourists taking photos.
12. Our local politicians – apparently some of our elected officials have had legal issues of late. And since the 90s. And they park wherever they want!
11. Row Houses – All overpriced and require thousands of dollars of upkeep every year.
10. Walkability – In many spots it’s a massive pain trying to cross Rock Creek Park while everywhere else cars will try their best to run you over.
9. History – We’ve never actually healed from its wounds so there’s a lot of bad blood lingering. Plus what else could cause DC born Dallas fans to be tolerated and even encouraged here.
8. Libraries – good luck getting a seat.
7. The 9:30 Club – the good shows all sell out in 15 minutes and good luck getting a beer.
6. Weather – the humid summers and mosquitos make a lethal mix.
5. The Nationals – How the hell do you pull Strasburg when you’re about to make the playoffs?!?!
4. The Cherry Blossoms blooming – sure they look pretty on the trees but that’s only for a few weeks then they litter our streets and get stuck to our shoes and you find them rotting all over your overpriced house. And tourists!
3. Our Museums – we screwed up the Corcoran Gallery of Art and have to dish it off to a university and the Feds.
2. Our Revival – where the rich get to eat everywhere and the poor get homeless.
1. The People – A large proportion of delusional, self important, self indulgent, insufferable know it alls who think they are smarter/cooler than you are. Not to mention the fucking tourists!

03/12/14 1:30pm


Earlier this morning @DCMobileSharp tweeted me a photo (though the one above is from another reader):

“@PoPville Someone’s having fun with dead rodents in Petworth #afternoonanimalfix”

Now I hate squirrels just as much as the next guy, and I am no priss either, however, I draw the line at playing around with dead animals, even squirrels. Personally I think it’s freaking disgusting. But that’s just me.

Well, fine, looking at the photo again I guess it is kinda funny.

And there’s the answer – it’s funny AND disgusting.