Dysfunction Junction chronicles the most forlorn, baffling, and wonderful crossroads of our fair city. Ben Ball is a transportation nerd in his spare time. He lives in LeDroit Park. Ben previously wrote about 14th and Park/Kenyon NW.

“We Are Georgetown” – or so the ads tell us.  If “we” refers to a frothy mix of foreign tourists, well-to-do students, and old biddies clutching their Hermès handbags, then I’m willing to concede the point.  For quite a few of us, though, Georgetown has always felt much more like “them” – a neighborhood that feels like an appendix to DC proper.  (The oft-revisited idea of secession doesn’t help.)

It’s simple:  this intersection is over capacity.  Wisconsin is the big north-south thoroughfare, and M is the big east-west thoroughfare, but neither can deal with the jam of drivers, pedestrians and daring cyclists who just want to get where they’re going.  Naturally, the place where they meet just compounds the lunacy.

The sidewalks here are already legendary for their narrowness.  Most of the time, it just feels like the line for Georgetown Cupcake metastasized over the whole neighborhood.  Garbage cans and parking meters further promote the sense that you’re running an obstacle course.  Then the crowd of people looking to cross the street turns this intersection into a giant game of red rover, thwarting those who just want to go around the corner.  Every light change starts the Mexican standoff between entitled pedestrians, harried drivers looking to turn right, and left-turning drivers stuck in the middle of the intersection.

Continues after the jump.

If it was just about shoppers, traffic wouldn’t be so bad.  But this intersection is actually a double bottleneck.  Virginia drivers just want to get to the Key Bridge.  Folks from Glover Park and points north just want to get downtown.  Both must cross paths at this intersection.  If you’re on a southeast-bound 30 bus, be prepared for a long ride.  If you’re not on one, it might be a while.  (The transit screens the Georgetown BID wants to install will at least allow us to sit in the cafés while we’re waiting.)  Even emergency vehicles have a hard time getting through the logjam – I saw one sit there, sirens blaring, for a good five minutes this weekend.

If we had truly visionary leadership, we would Big Dig this thing.  Deep underground would be the start of a separated Blue Line.  Above that (but still just under the surface) would be an arterial road to easily connect Rosslyn to downtown DC.  Up top, M Street could finally become the fully pedestrian walkway and streetcar corridor that it desperately needs to become.  Bonus:  we could finally tear down the Whitehurst Freeway, an idea already forty years in the making.  But that’s all wishful thinking.  We’ll be waiting quite a while for someone to conjure up the cojones (and the cash) to fix this mess permanently.

This rental is located at 1322 35th Street, NW:

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The listing says:

“Traditional Georgetown rowhouse with high ceilings, spacious main level with living room, dining room, powder room, tablespace kitchen and entrance hall. Upper level provides 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, and good closet space. Lower level is unfurnished and is good for storage or laundry. Large parking pad is available at the rear of the house for tenant to use.”

This 3 bed/2.5 bath is going for $5,975/Mo.

The ShopHouse coming to the former Furin’s space in Georgetown is now hiring and looking close to opening. Here’s how the space looked in 2010:

2010

ShopHouse’s first location opened in back in Sept. 2011 at 1516 Connecticut Ave, NW in Dupont. You can see their menu here.

Washington Business Journal reports that ShopHouse will be opening a third location in part of the former Ruby Tuesday’s which recently closed at 710 7th Street, NW:

Back in Feb. 2013 confirmed some scuttlebutt that a Billy Reid clothing store would be moving into the former Pizzeria Uno space at 3211 M Street, NW. They open Friday. From the Georgetown BID:

This Friday, May 10th, Billy Reid is opening a new store in Georgetown at 3211 M Street, NW. The multi-level store will include curated areas focused on unique elements within the collection such as the Women’s collection, The Made in the USA Heirloom line and even a space for made-to-measure services. Known primarily for his menswear collections, Reid won both the CFDA Award for Best New Designer and the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund Award in 2010. His style is particularly reflective of his southern roots, with an emphasis on casual sportswear crafted with exceptional tailoring, while reflecting a true “homespun” feel.

This house is located at 3127 Dumbarton Street, NW:

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The listing says:

“Remarkably intact approximately 5000 sq ft 1875 Victorian ready to be brought into the 21st Century. 12 ft ceilings, grand plaster mouldings. Bring your architect…kitchen and baths are functionally obsolete. Estate so absolutely “AS IS”…OPEN Saturday and Sunday 1-4 pm….any offers 5/7″

You can see a virtual tour here.

This 5 bed/3.5 bath is going for $2,500,000.

From a press release:

Capitol Prague Café, a small European café in the heart of Georgetown, is now open daily between 8AM-8PM, serving unique and exquisite illy coffee along with homemade pastries and sweet delicacies of Old Europe. Come and taste illy’s velvety, delicately balancing floral and fruity notes with caramel, toast and chocolate…it will become your next obsession!

Stay tuned… Capitol Prague Restaurant & Bar is opening in May 2013, offering a contemporary Czech & Slovak fare infused by aromas of fresh herbs, smoked meats and authentic Czech beer!

3277 M Street, NW

This rental is located at 3022 R Street, NW:

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The listing says:

“Come see this great living space in a quiet neighborhood with plenty of parking. Montrose Park is right outside your doorstep with access to Rock Creek Park Trail. Closest bus line is on Q & 30th and with the next closest being at R & Wisconsin. Small food market in walking distance (Q & 30th) Zone 2 Street parking.”

This 2 bed/1 bath is going for $2,650/Mo.

One of my all time favorite Georgetown houses.

Can find a new detail every time you pass it:

Back in late Jan. we learned that Third Edition was closing in Georgetown and the space would likely become a Mexican restaurant. Turns out that Mexican restaurant will be a second El Centro according to Eater DC:

“the Logan Circle taco and margarita destination has confirmed it will open its second location in the Third Edition space at 1218 Wisconsin Ave. NW, hopefully by June.”

We judged the Logan Circle El Centro back in Aug. 2011.

This rental is located at 3303 Water Street, NW:

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The listing says:

“Corner 4th floor unit with popular floor plan. Includes home office / den. Rent includes all utilities, 99 channels cable, 2-car parking, swimming pool, fitness, car wash, additional storage, front desk, concierge.”

This 2 bed/2.5 bath is going for $8,000/Mo.