Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user nevermindtheend

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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100 Comment

  • Rave: Today is finally FRIDAY! ‘NUFF SAID.
    Rave: Wedding is two weeks from tomorrow! Holy crap on a cracker…..
    Rave: No boss in the office today! A) I won’t want to shoot myself in the foot (or punch anyone) and B) I can now work on things w/out interruptions. C) Damn, I need a new job.
    Random: Once saw a horse this size being ‘walked’ at a rest stop along the highway.
    Random: Really want my dad to ‘see me’ in my wedding dress. As he passed away 11 years ago, is it super weird to go to the cemetery all dressed up?

    • Ally

      I think going to the cemetery in your dress would be sweet! And not weird at all. My Dad passed before I married my husband. We included him in the ceremony in other ways, but do what feels right (weddings are beautiful, but so stressful). Congrats!

    • I hope this doesn’t sound weird, but I think a few shots with a photographer might be kind of cool too and worth the memory of you sharing your special day with your dad.

    • If it feels like a way to honor him I would do it! I also think if he’s a beer or scotch fan, having a drink and pouring one out at the graveside would be a way to remember him (or maybe that’s just my drunky German/Irish family….).

      Enjoy the wedding.

    • As others have said, do whatever feels like the right way to honor him and his presence. A cousin of mine had her grandfather pass away about 6 weeks before her wedding several years ago. At the reception venue they asked the bartender to put a Manhattan (his favorite cocktail) on the bar next to a sweet note and picture of her with him as a little girl. They got some great photos of the newlyweds and family toasting to him next to it and everyone noticed it as they came to order drinks. Full disclosure this was late August on a golf course and by the end of the party it was obvious the bartender had taken a few sips of it, but the sentiment was still there. Enjoy your day!

    • I think going to the cemetery in your dress would be beautiful. My wife’s father died several years before we even met but we included him in the ceremony by including a photo of the two of them on our altar. Our photographer took some absolutely beautiful photos of her spending some time with the photo after the ceremony. We also had his favorite beer (Kasteel Tripel) on hand to have a round in his honor.

    • Not weird at all! A friend of mine did this the morning of his wedding – he went to the cemetery with a couple of his groomsmen and had a whiskey with his dad, who had passed away about a year before the wedding. I think it was very meaningful to him – do whatever you think feels right 🙂

    • While you’re there you should bring the leftover flowers from your wedding.

    • It’s not weird, and don’t let anyone suggest there’s a list of weird things you shouldn’t do for your wedding. At the end of the day, your wedding is just the day that you and your soon-to-be-spouse have chosen to mark the day you’re joining legally. All the rest of the wedding industry should fade away. Do what makes you happy.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: Had to come in to the office on what is normally my telecommuting day.
    Rave: Frederick with Emmaleigh tomorrow. I love that place.

  • Ally

    Rave: Friday. Fall Leaves are beautiful. Broken toes healing nicely so no more unsexy medical shoe boot! Kiddo still cute. 20-something guy said I look like Gina Davis, even though I look absolutely nothing like her (incidentally, she’s apparently 60 now and looks fabulous!). 8-foot long Halloween spider for the house finally arriving TODAY!

  • Rant: Friend relapsed with a Gambling addiction. Called me from a casino last week. Wanted to go back to GA but changed his mind when a friend (who doesn’t know) lent him money to get him through the week. He no longer wants to talk about what happened and refuses to go or even speak to GA. I think I have to walk away as my presence feels like I’m just enabling him. It hurts a lot.
    Revel: Being raised to know how addiction works and when an addict is and isn’t ready to seek the help they are being offered.
    Rave: Happy I am not and have never been an addict.
    Revel: God, grant me the serenity…

    Thanks for letting me vent. Let’s try to make tomorrow better.

    • Loving an addict (no matter as a family member, partner, or friend) is always hard. Relapse is the worst, and in my experience it occurs when they think, once again, that they can be bigger than their addiction – and honestly, at that point there is no telling them otherwise. It’s so very hard, but I think you are doing the right thing. You can’t support your friend right now because real support would come off as a threat to him, and the type of support he wants would actually be enabling. But it doesn’t make that choice any easier. You have my sympathy… I hope he wakes up soon.

      • +1. I’ve watched this over and over again with multiple family members and loved ones, and it’s terrifying and enraging but mostly sad. It sucks so bad, but sometimes the only thing you can do to take care of yourself is to step away from the chaos.

        • Thank you guys so much! I grew up in a family of addiction counselors (also former addicts) And I am amazed that the first time I am dealing with an active addict in my life whom I love, that both he and I are falling into the patterns I have read about for years. I can’t control him, but I can control myself. He sees that I am stepping back from him and he is not happy, but the thing is that I realize, he still believes he can control his addiction. If he just had more money, or more self control then it would be fine. He could win all the money back. When I tell him to go to GA now he says “We are not talking about this anymore.” I realize he regrets telling me about the relapse more than the relapse itself. It kills me.

          The relapse was scary but it’s just scarier that he won’t confront his illness. He reset a time bomb, but he didn’t diffuse it, and what’s more he doesn’t want to. The next time it goes off, I don’t want to be there to witness it.

          I was brought up to be a helper, not an enabler. But you can’t help people who don’t want help.

          • “You can’t help people who don’t want help.” Exactly my conclusion.

          • I’m glad you were raised this way, AnonForThis. I was raised an enabler, and it has taken me many years to realize the difference between being a helper and an enabler. I really hope he is able to see he needs help soon.

  • Rave: My partner picked Baby Artie and me up from the metro with takeout in hand and then loaded the dishwasher and washed all the bottles and pump parts. He wins the husband of the week award.
    Rave: I got seven consecutive hours of sleep, which I really needed. Yesterday I had a terrible headache and my joints and every part of my body ached. I feel human again today.
    Rave: No rants this morning.

    • Love your raves this morning. especially the husband of the week award. that’s awesome.

    • I bet those little acts of kindness made you feel like the most loved woman in the world! Well done, partner!

      • Yes! The practical little acts of kindness are so much more important and significant than the big romantic guestures that my much younger self always expected.

        • Quotia Zelda

          I so agree. Mr. Zelda doesn’t usually send flowers or anything like that, but he makes phone calls for me, and that is gold.

  • Rave: Seriously amazing weather.
    Rant: Condo/coop politics and the people who make them even more unpleasant. Than they need to be.
    Rant: Am having a hard time focusing at work and It’s totally on me.
    Rave: It’s Friday!!!!
    Rave: Making an effort to connect more with friends who I don’t see enough. Planning on
    getting together with one of those friends on Sunday. Yay

  • Rave: Friday!

    Rant: Work. I need to change my title on my resume to reflect what more of what I do (although it’s in the description amongst all the other things I do, do HR/hiring managers actually look past the job title when reviewing resumes?) and I’m overwhelmed because I’m too close to it, but resume writers are expensive!

    Rave: No plans this weekend until Sunday afternoon. Relaxing, chores, cooking for the week are all on tap and I’m looking forward to all the down time.

    Rant: Need to restart my workout program now that I’m healed from my injury, and although the scale is alarming, I’m still not motivated to begin. Maybe tomorrow morning?

    • A few years ago I sat down with a friend and described my job to her. She took lots of notes and I used that writing as the basis of describing my job on a resume. Sometimes it helps to say it instead of sweating out the writing.

  • Rave: Squee! Love that little critter.

  • Rave: Dodged a major bullet with one of the companies I interviewed with and thought was such a promising lead; they said they loved me, wanted me back fro a second interview and then completely flaked on me. Well, the company was just bought out by one of the big fish in my industry, and will most likely close now.
    Rant: Having an elderly, diabetic, and now mostly blind dog is basically like having a newborn. Only, having newborns was easier because I co-slept. I was up at 1am, 4am, and then she started barking while I was in the shower. She has to be guided to the door to be let out to do her business, then guided back to her bed. Sometimes I think she barks in the middle of the night because she can’t find the water bowl. Ugh.

  • Rant: The receipt of a few rejection letters for jobs I’ve applied for, plus a rejection from the WH Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony lottery (I’ve been dying to go the 7 years I’ve been here, denied every year!), among a few other things…I’m just feeling like a big pile of reject. I’m trying to focus on some positives (like fun things planned for the weekend) but all I really feel like doing is laying around in self-loathing. Blah.

    • andy

      I would just say that the White House Christmas Tree just isn’t that great. Sure they get a tree, but you have this much larger and very cheap-looking net of lights radiating from it that is so tacky. It is unworthy of a great national tradition of men and women who struggle mightily each December to make finicky lights work on sap-covered firs carted home in dangerous minivan adventures.

      • +1 to this. I went to see it with my mom around Christmas one year (not during the ceremony) and when we approached it, we said in unison, “That’s…. IT?!” It’s really nothing noteworthy.

      • +1 on this. The one time I went it was so miserably cold that we swore we would never go again. It’s hours of standing around to get a good view (we only had GA tickets, not the reserved seats) and we could barely see or hear the entertainment. I prefer going a week or two after the ceremony to take a nighttime walk through the state trees.

        • I was able to attend my first winter here and it was so cold and miserable, and I couldn’t really see or hear the entertainment very well. When I finally saw the tree itself, I was disappointed. So, while I’m sorry that you were rejected, it’s super not worth it.
          But I am also sorry for the feelings that it brings up. :/

    • skj84

      Sorry for your rant. While I’ve been to the tree lighting twice, both times the weather was horrific, and you really can’t hear or see anything. Like the inauguration its one of those things its fun to say you attended, but actually not all that fun to attend.

    • Thanks for the feedback! It makes me feel better about not going. I also just scored tickets to Lauren Graham’s book conversation at Sixth & I when it sold out in under three minutes, so I at least had one win this week! Going to focus on that for momentum to keep filling out these job applications…it’s so exhausting.

    • Hang in there on the job apps. I have been there, for a year! It was horrible. I was a finalist for many jobs, prepared heavily for each one. Was the runner up each time. Exhausting and demoralizing, and no points given for runner up for a job. It did eventually happen though, and I have my dream job at a gov’t agency. Applied 2x for this job before getting it. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and seek feedback.

  • Rave: FRIDAY!
    Rant: Looking over my options for health insurance and I think that I’ve concluded that no matter how much I wish the one with the high-deductible + HSA would work, I don’t think it will because the the full amount of the HSA is not available immediately, like an FSA, ut’s spread out over the year and I would be stuck at the very beginning of the year with like $130 banked and having the pharmacy ask me for $500 to pick up one Rx. Grrrr.
    Rant: Almost called the cops last night because some lady and dude were in a screaming match for 45 minutes right underneath my window. While I, in principle, agreed with the women’s profanity-ridden insistence that it’s not fair that women are paid less to do the same exact things as a man, I really really really wanted her and the guy who was yelling back at her to just SHUT UP!
    Rave: One week away from my newest nephew’s projected debut! He might be here any time!

    • The only thing making the HSA palatable to me at my job is the seed money the offer and the matching. But, I am still very nervous about Middle Anonachild’s RX’s which are in the $500 range without insurance as well. I plan on stocking up before the change over if I can, and hoping her doc will agree with an increase in the rx amount for this purpose.

      • Yeah, I don’t think we do any sort of matching or seed money here, so I just don’t think it’s an option….sigh….

    • Potentially moving to high deductible. Why isn’t the hsa money available immediately?

      • I think it depends on your plan… with a lot of FSAs, the entire amount that you elect for the year is available to you on day one of the new plan year, and you make deductions through the year. With HSAs, often the amount available to you to use is only the amount you have contributed. So on day one, you have $0, unless your employer offers “seed” money or something like that to get you started. The money is available to you as soon as it goes in, but you do not get access to the projected funds as you would with an FSA. I believe this is what LBP means.

      • I don’t know, I’m not sure if that’s the way everyone’s HSA works or just mine, but here they spit the total amount you want to put into the HSA over 26 pay periods. If you don’t anticipate needing it right away, it might work for you. But for me, it’s not really an option, I already know I’ll need to refill meds at that time that do not come cheap without insurance.

        • *split, not spit! oy!

        • Do they offer you the option to adjust your contribution amount pay-period by pay-period? for me, I do not have to elect an amount at the beginning of the year, I just contribute what I want, and I can adjust when I want. This is supposed to be one of the benefits/pluses of HSA vs FSA. Is this an option?

          • I don’t know, the lady I spoke to at the Benefits office was only mildly helpful, and since I didn’t know that there are different options, I didn’t ask about it. But I still don’t think it would matter because my I have non-optional Rxs that are due for renewal at the beginning of next year, and if I have to meet my deductible first before the insurance will kick in, and the majority of that money would have to come straight out of my pocket, I just don’t see it as a viable option. I might just elect to get an FSA, since I know I’ll be paying lots o’ copays throughout the year, and at least that’s pre-tax money, so….

          • Ha! Why am I not surprised?
            Definitely get the FSA. Not only is having the money on-hand for medical expenses a game changer, but the tax benefits can be very helpful. Also, you may want to look into supplemental benefits; you have an upcoming surgery, right? In your case, you may benefit from the AFLAC they offer. I made a major profit off a pregnancy one year thanks to AFLAC, lol. Insurance like that really benefits people who use it, for others, it can be a con, but if you know you are going to have a reimbursable expense, it is usually worth it.

          • Well, hopefully this is outpatient surgery where I’d be in an out in like a day….of course, things can be unpredictable (Hello, migraine-induced-hospital stay in July!), so I’ll look into the short-term disability stuff just in case.

  • houseintherear

    Lil Sebastian

  • Rave: I learn something new every day. For instance, I learned yesterday that straight women apparently are the scourge of the gay community. Also, that humidity turns people’s brains to jello. I love the 1 pm outrage threads sometimes.
    Rave: Friday.
    Rant: Way too much to do.

    • andy

      straight women also the scourge of the straight male community


    • Additional Rant: Apparently, it’s OK to just take possession of federal buildings now? OK, I call the Jefferson Memorial. All you tourists, get off my lawn.
      Rant: Oregon juries.
      Rant: Illinois Nazis.

    • I don’t have a problem with straight women. I think a small number of them give a bad rep to straight women because they treat gay bars as a playground. There are plenty of straight women that go to gay bars and do not create issues.

      • Agreed with this. I’m a straight woman, I’ve been to many a gay bar, and never had a problem. If you go anywhere and act with a sense of entitlement, you will likely be treated in a certain way. If you go anywhere and act like an asshole, you will be treated like an asshole.

      • Yea, I think it was more of a rant about the straight Becky’s who can be utterly annoying to anyone, not just to gays in gay bars

  • maxwell smart

    RAVE: New project at work! Should be a really fun project and great opportunity. Hooray!
    RANT: Still involved on the project on the “other” project with the client from hell. Boo!

  • Rant: I really want to have a mini retreat for my self (a ‘treat yo self!’ weekend) some place within driving distance (or train distance?) the weekend (and maybe a day or two outside of that) before thanksgiving. If I still lived in new York, Id know of a bunch of cute B&Bs in the catskills I could drive to and spend the weekend reading, hiking, flannel shirt wearing, etc, but I just don’t know enough about VA, MD, PA to know where to go.

    • I love Harrisonburg!

      • We had to go to Harrisonburg for a friend’s wedding recently and had an unexpectedly good time. We stayed at the Joshua Wilton house, which is gorgeous and has great service and an excellent restaurant. It’s in the middle of a cute walkable area which has (among other things) a great quilt museum.

    • Staunton or Lexington, VA are great choices. 🙂

      • Sadly haven’t had a chance to get there lately, but note that Staunton has what seems to be a very cool Shakespeare theater (Blackfriars, I think) and The Shack, which is a cult yet inexpensive gourmet restaurant.

        • Staunton is awesome! The theater is great, the town is small, cool, walkable, and the countryside around it is beautiful. I have family that live there and have been many times (and to many shows at the theater).

    • Deep Creek Lake or Shepherdstown, WV, (which has an awesome “opera house” with live music).

    • I highly recommend Wintergreen. You can get a airbnb/Homeaway condo for cheap.

  • Rave: Working remotely today! From my bed, in my pajamas. Glorious.
    Rave: My partner always makes weekday breakfast since I’m not a morning person and I always make our lunches. It’s a great routine and I’m so thankful for the extra ZzZzs in the morning.
    Rave: Got the idea to pack him ants on a log today. Wonder if he’ll say anything. It brought me great amusement.
    Rave: Finally, a pretty laid-back weekend. No big huge to do list.

  • skj84

    Rave: Attended Linn Meyers Creative Mornings talk at the Hirshhorn this morning. I did a quick walk through the museum afterwards, I really need to do a tourist day sometime.

    Rant: I still need to finish my Halloween costume, and the party is tomorrow. Heading to the new Michaels after work in search of sewing supplies.

  • Rant: Received some pretty scary numbers for estimates on our reno. Apparently I was pretty naïve when it came to estimating costs. Looks like we will be saving like crazy for at least another year to even make it feasible.
    Question re: fed gov hiring: I interviewed for a job I really wanted and it went really well. They checked my references which were great and they said they would let us know either way within a couple weeks. Since then radio silence. Is this just the way things go? You just never hear anything again? What types of things do they need to do that could cause a delay? This whole thing is really disheartening – get your hopes up because you are a great fit and then nothing. How does anyone ever get hired?
    Rave: Its Friday!

    • I would email your contact at the agency. Just a check in email asking re: hiring status and reiterating your interest in the position. If they have filled the position, you get some “closure.” And if they are still deciding, it helps keep you on their radar.

    • My fiance applied for a job over a year ago. He’s been interviewed, done the drug/medical testing, was offered a conditional position…………and yet we just keep waiting. I just want an answer already, damnit!

    • That is really weird. Usually, checking your references is the last step before they make you an offer.

    • The radio silence is the worst! Especially after they’ve check your references which usually means you’re one of the final candidates. Since you’re so far into the process I’d definitely reach out and ask for an update on your status. Good luck!

    • Definitely reach out to your contact. The lack of communication happens for about a trillion different reasons (someone taking awhile to sign a document, budget concerns, etc). Last summer I was hired as a Fed employee in late May and wasn’t cleared to start until September. I spoke with my contact at least once a week during the whole process

  • Question: does anyone have a housecleaner or house cleaning service they recommend? I’ve had two bad experiences in a row with Handy (pro either being extremely late or, this morning, just not showing up and unable to be reached).

  • Rant: With back still nagging me and the headcold coming back for a strafing run, the sudden onset of gout seemed like piling on.
    Rave: A new round of prescriptions and I improved dramatically overnight.
    Rave: Son invited me to his housewarming party (as well he should — I own a third of it for the moment) and when I averred that his buddies didn’t wan;t old people harshing their vibe (or whatever it is kids say today), he said that his friends considered me their “spirit animal,” which I feel is a good thing.

    • It’s a very good thing. They think you’re cool!

    • Emmaleigh504

      take care of yourself; it’s the relapse that will kill you.

      • As I found out! The good news was that the ear infection had been cured and the fever beaten back, so despite re-appearance of the symptoms, the underlying problems seem to be diminishing. Also, since i telework today I can nap at will 😉

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: having to train new people, how did I get this job?
    Rant: so far behind at work, I just want to give up.
    Rave: fun weekend planned.

  • Rant: Only got to see ponies in the city for a brief second when I went to vote. Usually I take a lunch and go chill and watch the show for a bit but unfortunately work is too hectic.
    Rant: Haven’t ridden in weeks due to broken foot. And this is the best time of the year to ride!
    Rave: Lots of interesting work.
    Rant: Realizing I haven’t talked to my siblings in a while other than via Whatsapp. Looks like I need to get better about phone calls!
    Rave: Solid night’s sleep, sunshine, and a weekend stretching out in front of me.

  • Rave: I love being in a position where I can respond to my favorite charity’s call for supplies immediately. It wasn’t that long ago that it would have been virtually impossible for me to do so.
    Rant: Being stuck on hold for almost 20 minutes with my insurance pharmacy. Why does calling in a refill take so long?
    Rave: I love this weekend’s plans: a super packed Saturday followed by chill out day on Sunday. It sounds perfect to me.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Decide to treat myself to a quick lunch so I got to Ted’s Bulletin at 11:30 am and there was a 20 minute wait. Okay, maybe a lame rant. Good for TB????
    Rant: Walking up 14th to Busboy’s my cap blew off my head passing by McD and landed in the middle of 14th and U. Yes that was me, thanks for waving!
    Rave: My Mississippi Roast stir fry I made last night.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: Why is there an assumption that I can magically go a document production and flag things when I have no knowledge of what this is about. Why…can’t I just go to lunch instead. *raises fist of fury*

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