Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user Andrew Pasko-Reader

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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143 Comment

  • Major Rave: Half way through the week. Got through an incredibly busy day at work yesterday fairly successfully.
    .
    Minor Rant: Was looking through suggested Instagram friends last night because a few work colleagues added me and I was curious who else was around. Stumbled across an ex’s Instagram from two years ago and found pictures of me still on there(!) – he told me he didn’t have the app at the time – along with photos of his current girlfriend and their dog even though I recently saw him on a dating site. Felt like I was both punched in the gut and needed to take a shower because icky.
    .
    Also a Minor Rant: Why has the S1 been standing room only at 7am this week? Have they taken buses off the route or something?

    • ew to your minor rant about the ex. even though that was so long ago… i would still be mildly angry… then feel good about myself for not being with him anymore.

      • Ha! Thank you! I don’t really feel like I have the right to say anything, but that was my string of feelings exactly.

        • dcgator

          I’ve found that sometimes people I know who are not currently on the market are still on the apps/sites because they’ve just never gotten around to deleting/deactivating their account. .
          .
          But, yeah, this sucks, in general. I go through periods of checking exes’ social media, either intentionally or unintentionally—never fun.

          • This person was “online now” so I’m pretty sure that’s not the case even though I would hope it would be. Oof.

    • Yuck! I actually cancelled a date on a guy from Bumble after some minor social media stalking (once you have their phone number, you can see their screen name on Snapchat without adding them, and most people use the same screen name for all their accounts…voila!). I went this route and found his IG with his dog and…fiance! So I texted him, “Hey, I don’t think we should go on our date, given your fiance and whatnot.” I never heard back from him again. I hope he was freaked out about getting busted enough to stop but then again, I doubt it. It takes some kind of guts to do crap like that.

    • topscallop

      Is it standard operating procedure to delete Instagram pics of exes? I guess I only have one ex in the age of Instagram and there’s only a couple pictures of him on my account, but it never occurred to me to take them off. Maybe because we had an amicable split.

      • Anonynon

        I still have 1 up of my ex, I don’t know if it doesn’t bother you then it shouldn’t bother your partner. Unless its really obnoxious like ‘me & baeee’

      • I guess in this case it was a bit of a punch in the gut to me because he chose to end things, and his method of doing so was pretty heartless. If things ended amicably, I wouldn’t have an issue with it — it’s more that I don’t feel like he deserves to display me when he was, frankly, a huge jerk. Also I know he dated someone immediately after me and there are no pictures from the entire year he was with her, so it just gave me kind of a slimy feeling.

        • Also it was a kissy picture, not like a random nice photo that didn’t imply anything. I’m surprised his current gf would be okay with that.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I’m too lazy to go find pics of an ex and delete them. I figure there’s a good chance that lots of other people are too.

        • topscallop

          Same. Also Instagram pics are organized by date, so for someone to see old pics of my ex on there, they’d have to really go looking. Granted, my situation was different with the friendly parting of ways and all, I might feel differently about going through and editing/deleting if it had been a bad breakup.

        • In my case my ex and I did have a amicable split but he is now married so pictures deleted! I deleted them about a year after we broke up, mostly due to laziness/forgetting passwords…

      • I think this is a tough one… I cleared my ex-husband from my IG and hid photos on FB of the two of us together, but not of him and the kids. In fairness, there weren’t many to hide, so… In regards to people I have dated, only one guy before my SO ever ended up on my IG or FB, and I did delete those. I figure it just wasn’t serious enough to leave that record up for the world to see, and especially when I was dating I didn’t want someone to see something and get the wrong idea. Also, I sort of feel like hitting delete is like the modern-era version of putting all the notes/pictures/etc in a fire, though definitely less satisfying.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I was never a burn the pics gal, I was always a put the pics in a box in the closet and forget about them for a few years then toss. But it makes sense if you are a burner or destroyer of old pics then deleting would be the natural extension.

    • What did he do wrong outside of not telling you about his instagram account? Seems he cared enough about you to actually post pics of you to his feed. Now that he has moved on, he has new pics of the current gf and dog. Not sure what he did that was so egregious.

      • This is a good reminder to me that men and women have very different gut reactions to things before their brain kicks in and says “eh, whatever, not my problem” (which is me this morning, but was not me last night).

        • There’s absolutely no need to gender this.

        • Most of the people saying pics are still up are women. Little ironic you’d make your reaction to the contrary gender based.
          My only question is why are you looking through an ex’s photos from 2 years ago?

          • Sigh. Just sigh.
            .
            Thank you to those who are able to be sympathetic to rants and raves on PoP without calling individual’s feelings into question. I’m not asking for anyone to have the same feeling as I had, but it’s not hard to have a little compassion. (i.e. “Hey, sorry it struck you the wrong way. Isn’t it great you don’t have to worry about that anymore?”)

          • And in my defense there weren’t really many photos to “go through.” Almost all of them fit on one screen, so poof, there I was.

          • Maybe you meant a lot to him and he cant see himself deleting one of his last remaining memories/pics of you. Guys do realize when they have been jerks in the past and may have messed up a good thing. Those girls after you might not have meant as much to him, hence the lack of pics. Probably rebounds…

      • I’ve been keeping my mouth shut…..*zip*

  • Rant: creepy crawlies. I recently moved to a ground level unit in a suburban area and yesterday I saw my first ‘oh-god-what-is-that-and-why-is-it-so-fast-and-hairy-jesus-christ’. Anyone have any suggestions for keeping bugs out, other than eliminating food sources and damp. We have a dehumidifier running, the house is on a drainage easement so it’s the environment is… moist

    Rave: my partner killed it for me

    • Have you tried that bug spray that you can spray around the perimeter of your house/windows/doorways, etc.? I can’t remember what it’s called but we used it when I was growing up and it was pretty effective. They sell it at most Walmart/Target kind of stores.

      • Planning on picking that up at home depot today. Just scared that the bugs are already inside the house, so to speak, in the walls or whatever. /shudder

        Additional rave: cat slept beside me all night, hopefully willing to defend me if anything gets in the bedroom, not super likely but I have seen her kill (but not eat) a daddy long legs

        • Oh, I see. Yeah, that’s gross — I guess you can hope that at least a good spray would keep them from coming out.

    • Just a thought – your description sounds like a house centipede. They are actually really beneficial critters that eat roaches and spiders. I used to run screaming when I saw them, but now I just let them go on their merry way.

      • +1 on house centipedes. I still think they’re pretty freaky-looking, but since learning that they’re beneficial, I’ve been mostly leaving them alone.
        .
        In a basement-level unit, I think bugs are to some degree inevitable. Spraying the perimeter and baseboards should help, though.

      • These don’t bother me too much but Tiny Dog thinks they are the best toy/snack ever. Which grosses me out.

      • I seem to get lots of house centipedes in my row house. I also heard/read that they are beneficial so I leave them to it. However, they are super creepy looking and move really fast and really freak me out. My cats chase them sometimes, but never eat them, which I guess is fine.

        • Seriously, creepy as they might look, house centipedes are the best thing ever!!! They eat every other insect/larve – fleas, cockroaches – everyting. You WANT these bugs in your house!

      • But spiders are also beneficial!

  • Rant: I have a headache that wont go away for weeks now, I guess the lack of good sleep don’t help
    Question: Can anyone recommend a landlord rental insurance company? The quote I got from Geico (thru Liberty Mutual) is ridiculously high
    Related: Anyone familiar with Erie Insurance Company? One of their agent gave me a really great quote, but I have to switch all insurance policies (car, primary home) to them (almost $700 savings a year). I am feeling a bit uncomfortable with that though as I have been quite happy with Geico for years now and I don’t like dealing middle men…

    • I have my renters insurance from USAA and it’s an inredibly good price, is that an option for you at all?

    • You should really get an opinion on that headache. Could it be a sinus infection? I know lots of people who have been having major sinus problems between the changes in weather and allergies.

      • Echoing this…I was in a similar situation and found out my weeks long headache was a bizarre manifestation of strep throat. One course of antibiotics later and it finally was gone. Definitely see your doctor or go to an urgent care clinic cause it will make all the difference!

    • I always had renters insurance through State Farm–it was ~$120 a year. I’ve had car insurance and home owners insurance through them too. I never had any problems except my former agent retired and the current one sucks.

    • I have USAA as well and they go through Erie in this area. So far they have been very good.

    • I’ve had Erie for years for renters and car insurance. I’ve never had to file a claim with renters, but they have been great with car insurance claims. My dad was an independent insurance agent, and when I was getting quotes, he highly recommended Erie to me.

  • Rave: So a couple of months ago I said that dinner at Masa 14 changed my life and y’all teased me a bit for it. BUT I went back last night and I am sticking to my word. Yesterday was the first day of their new menu and it was AMAZING. Boyfriend and I went with his visiting parents, who were very skeptical, and there wasn’t a dish we didn’t love. Our server was extremely helpful with our numerous allergies as well and worked with the chef to ensure we could eat just about anything with alterations. Go visit Victor at Masa 14 and get. the. lobster. pumpkin. soup. Thank me later!
    Rave: I think an interview for a job I *badly* want went well yesterday. I keep telling myself that in the very least I was able to get some interview practice (it’s been a while), so either way it’s a win, but I’m not fooling anyone…I want this job.
    Rave: Ford’s Theatre is one of the DC places I haven’t been inside and have been itching to…but you know how it is, you only seem to do those things when you have visitors. Well boyfriend’s parents and I went yesterday because they wanted to see where it was. They had no intention of going in, which had me a bit disappointed, but since it was near closing time free tickets were being handed out. Game changer! So now I’ve been inside Ford’s Theatre and the museum across the street. Hooray!
    Rant: Is it really only Wednesday? Argh.
    Rave: Soul Strolls tour at Congressional Cemetery on Friday with boyfriend and good friends! Has anyone ever done it?

    • Re: Masa 14. I’ll have to look at this new menu. A few years ago I enjoyed going there for happy hour because their happy hour rolls were cheap but then they dumped them off the menu. Maybe I’ll give it another go!
      .
      And best of luck getting the job!! My fingers are crossed for you!!!

      • Their pork belly steam buns are on the HH menu and are amazing! Definitely go back! And thank you for the luck wishes 🙂

    • Andie302

      I just passed this to the chef through a mutual friend. He really is talented and thorough, and I’m not surprised to hear this! (FridayGirl – when he came in it was under the agreement that he could shake up the menu however he wanted…which is why the rolls are gone.)

      • Oh I love that you were able to pass this on! I have an enormous amount of gratitude to the chef for his accommodations. I get really nervous going out to eat given all of my food allergies, plus boyfriend forgot to mention his mother has allergies of her own, so small plates-style was a bit nerve-racking. But we were all super pleased and had a wonderful experience! Such a relief with potential future in-laws 😉

    • Aren’t the tickets to Ford Theater always free?

  • rave/rant: first week at the new job going well… but anxious to really feel like i’m settling in and getting things done. I see a lot of potential here.
    everyone’s rant: humidity.

  • Rave: Cuba was awesome
    Havana was by far my favorite, i had a really good time in the city
    Cienfuegos and trinidad were cool to see but most likely wont be visiting next time around
    Rave: may be going back as soon as Feb for the half iron man

  • houseintherear

    Rant. While walking the dog this morning, I followed a trash truck down the alley and picked up no less than 10 pieces of trash I watched them dropped. Ridiculous. I should have taken a video and tracked down their supervisors.

    Additional Rave: My dog’s #1 goal in life is to roll around in trash truck juice in the alley on Wednesday mornings. WHYYYY

    Rave: I went to my first Caps game last night! Really fun, enjoyed the crowd. Hockey is pretty cool.

  • Rave: Kyirisan on Monday night was excellent. Thanks to all who recommended it. In particular, the duck confit and the scallops with risotto and ice cream(!) were delicious.
    Rave: Got to catch up with close friend who I see too infrequently.
    Rave: He proposed a very, very fun family vacation for summer of 2018. It’s really tough to plan that far ahead, but necessary for this particular trip. We need to make a leap of faith and hope our schedule for 18 months away cooperates.
    Rant: Unexpected day out of the office tomorrow. Need to cram 2 days of work into today, and I can’t get started until I get some additional materials (that I asked for over a week ago) from people who don’t start work until very late in the day (around 11). I’m all for people having flexibility, but my patience wanes when it starts to adversely impact me. It isn’t just today, it’s been an issue for several weeks now. It’s really aggravating when someone with whom you work closely isn’t around for 2+ hours of the day. People don’t need to be available at 7:15, when I get here (in fact, I prefer an empty office that that hour), but I think 9:00 is a reasonable expectation. Now I just need to figure out a diplomatic way to bring this up.

    • binntp

      I hear you on that rant. I’m also an early bird, and the worst is when those late stragglers, who know my schedule, decide to send me something at 4:30 pm on a Friday for urgent review…

    • This is when I think “core hours” are good. At my last firm I think it was 9-3. So basically you couldn’t come in later than 9 or leave earlier than 3.

    • hammers

      I have been quiet on this, but I was really disappointed in Kyirisan. BF and I chose this spot for our second anniversary dinner based on recommendations here. Food was ok, but we were not wowed by anything (and we are easily excitable people). For example the scallops with coconut risotto and basil ice cream was an interesting concept; but with the amount given it was way too sweet, and the ice cream made it cold; so I’m eating room temperature, sweet rice pudding almost. I will say the staff was wonderful; the wine selections were great, and ok I guess the desert was fantastic 🙂 I’m glad everyone else has enjoyed it so much! For us the recent winner has been Lil’ Coco’s (try the Bruschetta and the other starters, they are beyond).
      .
      (P.S. 9:30 is better)

      • +1 on 9:30.
        .
        DCD, does this arriving-at-11 person report to you? If not, I wouldn’t bring up his/her hours.
        .
        I can see how the differing-hours factor makes it extra-aggravating… but isn’t the problem more that this person didn’t give you the material when you asked for it a week ago, not so much the arriving-at-11 factor?

        • Report to me, as in I am his supervisor? No. But that’s not really how law firms operate. He does a significant amount of work for me an a variety of matters. And it is a continual source of frustration (to me and others) that items we need and questions that have to be answered have to wait until 11:00 or later. Today, it manifested itself in because I needed some material, and it isn’t available, and I can’t even ask about it. And if it isn’t finished (which I suspect it isn’t), he won’t even start on it until 11:00.
          .
          Look, I get that traffic sucks. But it is on him that he lives 30 miles away, and sorry, part of doing your job is doing your job (I saw that in a Dr.’s office), and being present to do your job. Working from 11-8 avoids traffic, yes, but it also means you’re not available for many of the hours that most people work, both at the beginning and the end of the day. When in a service position (and everyone, without exception, in a law firm is in a service position), being available is important.
          .
          Finally, while 9:30 also may be a reasonable deadline, I think 9:00 is as well.

          • Fair enough.
            .
            I’m surprised he was allowed to have an 11-8 schedule in the first place — sounds like it’s inconveniencing a lot of people.

          • I agree with this completely. Law firms are different animals. I find it interesting that he doesn’t feel like he should come in earlier. When I was at a law firm, I would check my blackberry (it was a little while ago) on my way to work just to make sure I wasn’t “late” in responding to something, and that was as I was walking to work at 7:45 am. I was told by the partner that we could show up anytime we wanted but we would be expected to be there no later than 8:30. The partner would walk by all our offices at 8:30 just to be sure. Anyway, I am ranting a bit. This person (associate I assume) works with you and knows your hours, he/she should be there when you are and able to answer your questions and get you the information you need so that you can finish your work. That’s how law firms work (or at least how the used to).

          • Counterpoint: I was talking to a law firm friend the other day, and her entire group of associates had just been scolded about coming in after 9 am. I think she usually used to get in between 9:30 and 10. She was annoyed because it means 1) longer commute in the morning due to added traffic between 8 and am and 2) longer work day because it’s not as if they will be free to leave any earlier. (In other words if she used to work 9:30 am to 8 pm, now she’ll be working 9:00 am – 8pm, not leaving 7:30 to account for her earlier arrival.)

          • @Rachel: Those certainly are the arguments. But, in my experience, lawyers who view their job as number of hours a day worked, as opposed to providing excellent service to their clients, aren’t very good at their jobs, aren’t well regarded, and don’t last long. And in the context of a law firm, an associate’s clients most likely are the partners for whom she works.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: I got to bed at a decent hour, but at 5:30 this morning, Magnolia decided it was playtime. She signals this by biting my nose.
    Rant: So many phone calls I have to make today. I hate the phone.

  • skj84

    Rant: I may have to get my crown replaced. The pain I’ve been experiencing comes from a small gap between the crown and tooth that has become infected. My dentist gave me a scaling yesterday, and asked me to come back for follow up next week.
    Rave: I now know the probable cause of my recent dizzy spells. Apparently the infection can cause vertigo and sinus problems. I feel so relieved, I assumed it was a sinus infection that wouldn’t go away.

  • Rant: Woke up in the middle of the night hearing a fire alarm going off somewhere. Couldn’t track it down, got really worried (as you do at 3:30am) and called 911. Fire department comes really quickly, and of course the alarm is much quieter than before and they think I’m crazy. After about 5 minutes I get them to hear it, and they track it down and deal with it. I’m so tired today, and feeling like a decent citizen is not helping.
    *
    Rave: Off the boot, and I walked yesterday. I forgot how much it feeds my soul, and i’m so happy to be back on my feet!
    *
    Revel: Today’s the last day at my current job, and tomorrow’s the first day at my new one. I’m not even nervous, I’m just ready. I’ve been working on this change for a while, and I’m ready for it to come into fruition.

  • Rant/Rave – I think I know why I’m getting headaches – apparently I have a slightly bulging disc in my neck. So, I have a prescription for physical therapy. Can anyone recommend a good physical therapist, DC location preferred? Thanks!

  • Bear

    Rant: Third trimester is kicking my ass. Either I’m not sleeping, or I get decent sleep but still feel like a zombie. Plus the new joys of swelling, carpel tunnel, TMJ, and overall aches and pains. Guys – if the lady is your life is pregnant, please be nice to her. This shit is HARD.
    Rave: Got squeezed into the chiropractor this afternoon, hopefully he can do something about my SI joint that’s flaring up.
    Rave; I have good healthcare and a job that pays well enough that I can fit in things like chiropractic care and acupuncture. Whatever it takes to get me through the next six weeks in one piece….

  • rant: not sure if its fall or just general feels, but having increased anxiety about everything.
    rant: work is annoying and today especially.
    rave: living through planning some summer travels with good friends, but its so far away…

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: I keep getting the hard tasks at work. I’m over it.
    Rave: Successfully taught my class this morning, even if I did finish 10 minutes early. I was expecting questions but didn’t get any.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: Made an online appointment to have my car serviced, but when I pulled up to the service line at 7:00 a.m. they couldn’t find any record. Instead of waiting I had to drop the car off.
    Rave: I was running ahead of schedule this morning so made a pit stop and grabbed a cup of chaider.

  • Rave: Finally feel like I got a decent night’s sleep, and I don’t even know how, but I’ll take it!
    Rave: Chatted with my BFF for a while, helped me feel sane!
    Rant: What in the hell is up with this weather?! yuck!
    Rant: The sun setting earlier and rising later has got me feeling SAD
    Rave: Just got to make it through Thursday evening, since I’m taking Friday off….
    Rave? Rant:…so I can go down to Richmond to the Helping Hands veterinary surgery center to get my kitty’s abscessed tooth / dental surgery taken care of. Nervous but I know this will help her feel better. Any suggestions of places to eat/visit while in Richmond?
    Related: Any suggestions of how to handle a possibly groggy but freaked out cat on a long car ride? She can’t have any food prior to surgery, but should I bring litter/pan, wee pads or something in case?

    • I really like Tarrant’s Cafe and Perly’s in Richmond. Its a fun city to explore.

    • Glad the kitty will have the tooth removed! I would assume wee pads will get used, nervous cats also vomit in the car so wipes and a trash bag. Not much else if you’re giving the kitty drugs for the ride.

      The Richmond art museum is great, if you get a membership I think you also get access to the Hillwood estate here.

      • LBP, you might not need to give the kitty drugs for the ride… but if you do, check with the vet to see if there are any contraindications about using drugs on top of the anesthesia the kitty will be coming out of.
        .
        When my kitty had a dental done, she was pretty woozy for a while after I picked her up. She recovered the use of her front legs before she recovered the use of her back legs; it was kind of alarming to watch her try to get around in such a state.

        • Kitty is usually super good in the car, the only reason she’ll meow is if she wants to come out of her bag and explore (sorry, no roaming cats allowed!), so I’m not planning on giving her anything before hand; and afterward, I figure she’ll be woozy after the dental surgery, but I just wasn’t sure what to expect, since it’s a longer ride than I’ve ever had her take drugged out!

          • Good luck!
            .
            Glad to hear that your kitty is usually good in the car. Mine HATES being in the car (or being carried outdoors in her carrier) and mews piteously. Each mew feels like a stab in the heart!

          • That One Guy

            You can break out the car ride back so you take frequent stop and give the cat a chance to get some fresh air.

    • Eat at Mamma Zu. Fantastic and unpretentious home cooked Italian, which is difficult to find in DC. Cash only.

    • The Virginia museum of Fine arts in Richmond is excellent and can easily take up your entire day – very interesting mix, like the V & A in London. And their cafe is excellent for lunch.

  • Rave: successfully purchased airfare and a rental car using credit card points for a family wedding in December – and still have a bunch of points left! I love credit card company points!!!! I actually put on my social dating profile that I really like personal finance, so I guess you could say Im a super nerd in this regard.
    Rant: got an estimate on a heel repair for my fancy boots (the one’s I bought on a whim a few winters ago while visiting DC from my tropical southeast asia residence and was freezing my ass off). they estimated it would cost more than $100 for the heel replacement! So basically will try to find another location. I think they saw that its a fancy brand, and were trying to charge me more as a result, which is annoying.

    • edited bc I sounded like an a-hole: it sounds like I have a summer home or something in SEA, which is not the case – I was just working there (and it was a studio apt)

    • if you don’t mind a little travel – best foot forward in pentagon row (next to world market) is awesome. they do great work for reasonable prices.

      • Coming here to say the same thing. Best Foot Forward replaced the entire leather sole on my Wolverines, and then added Vibram outsoles (including the heel). I paid $135, but given the amount of work done on what were $400 boots, I thought it was fair. The craftmanship is also outstanding–the stitching is even and tight, and the leather was condition and looks gorgeous. .

        • Thank you! Yeah – Im getting the sense that $100 is probably not an obscene price to pay to re-sole nice boots. Thanks for the tip!

  • Rant: roommates rent check bounced
    Rant: landlord tells me it’s the 4th time in 4 months but he’s only informed me of one other time in may.
    Rant: still unacceptable and I’m going to need to have a “get it together or get out” talk

  • hammers

    Feels: It’s my best friend from colleges’ birthday today. We haven’t spoken in about 2.5 years. I really miss her, but she just hasn’t been the same friend to me as I was to here since we graduated. She has never come to visit me in almost 7 years of living in DC; I visited her in many states many times, and always made the trip up for her birthday. I had an awful breakup and needed to lean on her, and she was absent. She kept promising to show me with her actions that I was important to her; and we kind of left it with the ball in her hands regarding the friendship. 2.5 years ago. I miss her; she really was my best friend (and only “best friend” since high school) and I feel really hurt by her. But I decided to text her today to say happy birthday, just to wish her a nice day and let her know I’m not angry, and she just responded with “hi! how are you?!” Which is fine, and I don’t want to make her day about me, but it still makes me feel like I’m putting in more to the relationship.
    .
    Rant: I feel like I’m hungover, although last night I just had 2 pots of tea. My colleague suggested that I’m probably dehydrated, since all I drink is tea, coffee, and beer. So forcing myself to chug water and hope I wake the heck up and shake this zombie feeling.
    .
    Rave: Having the finishing touches put on my first tattoo tonight, then seeing some pals 🙂 extremely busy week, but productive. Have a wedding to go to on Saturday and am trying to figure out the perfect outfit. /end word rant (more than I’ve posted in months)

    • If you’re not opposed to coconut water, that would probably be even better than normal water if you’re dehydrated. Electrolytes!

    • Pedialyte. I keep a bottle in the fridge most of the time.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I have a formerly best friend that only communicates on birthdays. It sucks. I try to reach out other times of the year, but she never does. Friend fade-outs/break-ups are the worst.

      • hammers

        yes definitely. It’s also that she’s so phony and sanctimonious about it. She kept saying, I am not going to apologize with my words, I’ll make it up to you with my actions. And I’m sure she’s convinced herself that I ended the friendship not the other way around. I’m hoping she will come back, but not optimistic.

    • I totally get your feels. I have a very similar relationship with my childhood best friend. We were like sisters growing up, but we are drifting apart as we become adults. I feel like I put more into the relationship and I’m tired. She has also never visited me in the 6 years I’ve lived here, with the exception of coming one night for my wedding, and is always making me feel bad about not visiting “home” more often. We don’t really talk much anymore. I dunno, our relationship seems so superficial now.

      • hammers

        The wedding I’m going to this weekend is with a friend like that. She always gives me so much grief for not coming home, despite repeatedly telling her that coming home and seeing my family gives me suffering. She has never visited me, ever in the 10 years since graduation, and tells me I’m a bad friend. Two months before she got engaged, she told me she knew he was the one, and she always wanted me to be her bridesmaid, then didn’t ask me. It’s a superficial relationship; we don’t even really know anything about each other anymore.

    • Bear

      Your first rant really hit home. My best friend for close to 15 years suddenly faded out of our friendship once she met her husband, at a time when I was going through a difficult time in my life and really needed someone to lean on. She just stopped returning phone calls. We were like sisters – no one has ever known me that well. She reached out a couple years later via email and said something along the lines of how it would be good to catch up since we had “lost touch.” I was still so hurt by it all that I never responded. 11 years later and I still look back on it with more sadness than any other break up, friend or otherwise.

  • Rant: I keep thinking it’s Thursday and then getting disappointed that it’s only Wednesday.
    Rave/Rant: An interesting conversation with a friend about privilege and the election has had my brain consumed since last night. I love having those conversations but it was a bit annoying that he still didn’t seem to understand after a couple of hours of multiple people attempting to explain this apparently foreign concept to him.
    Rant: Panicky dreams led to little sleep last night.
    Rave: Apple turnovers make everything better.

  • Rant: I cannot find a way to make my neck, eyes, or head comfortable in my new cube set up.
    Rave: my eye doctor is going to look through his notes and give me a call today.
    Rant: I have so much to do before I leave for a trip Friday. Pack, clean, laundry, mail back shoes to Zappos, and introduce DOG to his new sitter (yay!!! Thanks Popville!).
    Rant: I need to get a lot more sleep in the next two nights.

  • Rave: Thanks to all who offered responses to my query yesterday about how to clean a stubbornly dirty shower stall (http://www.popville.com/2016/10/random-reader-rant-andor-revel-1678/#comment-1192163). And thanks especially to KE for reminding me of the existence of Jolie Kerr — I didn’t recognize the name, but I’d read some of her “Ask a Clean Person” columns on the Hairpin site a while back.
    .
    Rant/rave: I spent way too much time last night reading Jolie Kerr articles about cleaning things. (She seems to have branched out and is now writing for Esquire, Elle, and other publications.)
    .
    Rave: Cat did not wake me up as early as usual this morning.

    • topscallop

      I love Jolie Kerr! I used to read her but kind of forgot about her. Now I will follow you into this rabbit hole of cleaning advice 🙂

  • Rave: Offered the position with the corporation I used to work for that I was pretty sure I would get an offer for.
    Rant: As expected, the pay was less than what I make now. Unexpectedly, it was a 25% pay cut with apparently no room for negotiation. Hell to the no.
    Rant: This highlights how stuck I am now in my chosen field. I need to go back to school. It’s not even an option anymore. But, the only things I would actually want to go back to school for would really require me to get a Master’s, which would definitely be worth it, and I would really love to go back to school, but then I remember that I am still technically a single mom raising three kids. My partner is wonderful, but I’m still the one responsible for those kiddos. I feel guilty about spending money and time on myself as is, and while I could justify the undergrad piece, I’m not so sure I could justify the graduate piece. So I’m in the position of following my passion to what will be a fulfilling yet underpaid career that will cost me a lot to get to, or following the path of least resistance to a piece of paper that will hold no sense of meaning or personal achievement, in a career path that I am increasingly disenchanted with. This is a decision I feel like I have delayed for three years, that I knew was coming, and I just don’t know which direction to take. I hate adulting.

    • Oh man, Anonamom! That is so tough! I know you’re a kick-ass mom and amazing in your field. I have no advice to offer, especially since it sounds like you’ve already thought everything out so much, but just know that I am rooting for you as you try to figure out what to do! Hugs!!!

    • Can you hold off on the career change until you’re on more stable financial footing & can better afford to do so–like a second career? And in the interim, focus on finding the most lucrative thing you can and focusing on getting your joy from your family, friends, and building that financial cushion to allow for that change? It may not have to be one or the other in a forever sort of sense–but perhaps one as a means to get to the other.

      • I could put it off, though I’m not sure how much more joy I can get from my life outside of work… I mean, I feel very satisfied in my home life, and the type of position I am in plus my family life does not allow me to devote time to other pursuits, so something like volunteering would not really be possible. I could definitely afford the undergrad portion, and the undergrad would allow me to swap fields (same industry) and keep my current pay rate. So there is the option to go, finish my degree, and then work until I could better afford grad school, or even better, have an employer willing to pay for it.

    • Any chance that corporation will pay for your schooling? It may be worth the 25% pay cut in the short term.

      • I know they used to offer a type of tuition assistance, but not enough to justify and options were limited (which is why I didn’t take advantage of it before).

  • Oh, and some gardening-specific rants/raves:
    .
    Rave?: Decided that even though somebody cut and stole all five of my red tulips last spring, I’m going to plant MORE tulip bulbs this fall because giving up would be like letting the terrorists win.
    .
    Rant: I realize this analogy is flawed. And I’m a little worried that this will be a case of “more red tulips” = “more stolen flowers.”
    .
    Rant: Once again feeling indecisive about where to plant which bulbs; I feel like I’m running out of real estate in my yard.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I’m glad you are planting more tulips. Even if they get stolen, you and the neighborhood will get to enjoy them for a little bit.

    • People who steal flowers need joy and beauty. You are giving them that. Of course I’d still chase them down the street if I saw the bastards in the act – but I still aspire to being a better person.

  • Rant: Waiting to hear about a possible job offer and the suspense is driving me insane! I tried really hard not to get my hopes up…but I was not successful. I will be so sad if I don’t get it.

    Rant: Generally grumpy. Can’t decide whether or not I want to watch the debate…it is just going to stress me out and I don’t think I am up for it.

    Rave: I actually get to go home after work today and hang out with my husband!

  • That One Guy

    Rant: I really don’t appreciate this diva move on my aunt/uncle/cousin’s part to come visit unannounced. It’s not like they live in the DMV area and are just stopping by while in the neighborhood–they’re driving down from NY! I’d like to chew them out for pulling this stunt.

    • uh, wut? tell them you’re out of town or have plans you can’t change. that’s all sorts of crazy.

    • Just reply – “I’m happy to get a chance to visit with you. Sorry I can’t offer you a place to stay, but here are some nearby vacation rental apts./hotels that might work for you.” If you feel like doing some work, you can search out some actual options on Homeaway.com or Airbnb – otherwise just give them the site and let them sort it out.

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