Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user LaTur

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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165 Comment

  • Rave: Old car sold to “a new friend” as my daughter put it. So glad to have someone else continue to drive it around town 🙂
    Rant: Can’t transfer the old tags to the new car because old one is titled in my name alone, while the new one is in both my wife’s and my name–so it’s not exactly the same. Seriously???
    Rave: The kids were having so much fun playing together last night that it was super hard to be the adult and get them to bed.
    Rave: mtpkiddo seems to be doing much better after a several-day nasty stomach bug. Wow, parts of that are so much easier post-toilet training
    Rant: mtpbaby is periodically super cranky. I think it’s his teeth, but ugh. Fingers crossed he doesn’t get sick, too, especially with
    Rant: Why do I have to tell mtpkiddo not to put her brother’s teethers in her mouth? Especially when she’s sick? Ugh.
    Rave: Beautiful weather today. Perhaps I’ll try to take a walk.

    • Happy to have a friend in Mtpkiddo! She’s seriously the cutest. I know we don’t tell little girls they’re cute/ pretty, but I can tell you.
      Btw, did you know the car’s name is Carol? She and I hung out for a while last night and got to know each other. It’s been a long time since I had a car with a personality, and the ability to communicate it. My old car was just “the car” for the last decade.
      Rave: DMV was efficient and painless. In and out in about a half hour.

      • Awww, thanks!!!
        Lol, I guess I shouldn’t tell you that the car’s previous name was Walter courtesy of the “Walter the Farting Dog” series because mtpwife thought the locking-doors “beep” was evocative of passing gas. I like Carol much better 🙂 And so glad she’s treating you well! Awesome also that the DMV was efficient and painless–a rare treat!

        • Interesting. I guess Walter transitioned! Now he’s a she, and looking darn good for her age. She’s at the spa today, getting all primped and polished. I think she wants some glam license plate frames. Nothing gaudy; just a little sparkle.

  • Kudos to the lady on Rhode Island Ave NW (b/t 14 and 15) this morning warning me I’d probably get towed for parking there. I was studying the signs and had just determined that for myself, but it’s always nice to have a stranger looking out.

  • skj84

    Rant: Trip to Minneapolis coming to a close. It went by so quickly. Flying home this evening.
    Rave/Rant: Working from my sisters house today, was supposed to be working at the local office, but it was closed unexpectedly. I want to camp out in one of the local coffee shops for a bit, but the key my sister gave me jams. I had to be rescued by one of her roommates the other day, I couldn’t get the front door to unlock. I’m either here until I leave for the airport, or risk getting locked out again.

  • Rant: Drivers who don’t stop at crosswalks. When another car has stopped, it really isn’t the time to zoom into the other lane to go around the stopped car, especially when I’m in the process of crossing the street with my stroller.
    Rant: Apparently I have anger issues this morning because I really yelled at the driver and then felt bad when she said “I’m sorry” from her car.
    Rave: Just a few more days and then a long weekend.

    • skj84

      Don’t feel sorry. She could’ve hit you. She’s the one who should feel bad for her supreme lack of judgement. Bask in the anger!

    • I wish more pedestrians yelled at drivers when they do stupid and/or dangerous shit…

      • Yeah, that’s what we need is more people yelling at each other in public.

      • My wife yells at drivers all the time. It makes me concerned for her safety.

      • You don’t even have to yell. Sometimes I stop and point at the walk sign.

        • +1. My sense is that yelling just pisses people off, or they dismiss you as a lunatic, if they can even hear you of course. I don’t yell or even make faces anymore, I just wave, point, make hand gestures (no, not those kind). No idea if it makes them think about what’s happening but I think it’s got to be better than yelling.

          • I’ve had times when I’ve pointed at the walk sign/stop for pedestrians sign and people point at their light (or lack thereof). Seriously? :[

          • Yep, I’ve had that happen a couple times. The best, though, is when I yell “crosswalk!” to the cyclist who just came within inches of crashing into me, and they yell back “I’m on a bike!”
            I think they seriously believe that cyclists don’t yield to pedestrians in crosswalks.

        • yelling, pointing, gesturing… doesn’t much matter what you do, I’ve had drivers get mad at me for anything. One guy feinted as if he were going to run me over because I had the audacity to watch and make sure he didn’t run me over while I was crossing with the light. He might say he had the light too, but y’know, many drivers don’t look out for pedestrians when they’re turning.

          My policy is that if you come within arm’s reach while I’m legally crossing with the light, I’m going to smack your car. Last time I did this, the driver was going to get out and fight me (amidst gridlocked rush hour traffic) until five other pedestrians who also almost got hit backed me up and started yelling at the guy too.

          … maybe pedestrians should just be given airhorns to honk back at the cars?

          • HaileUnlikely

            I used to do this. The last time I did, though, was about 10 years ago, and an enormous m*therf*cker built like Mike Tyson and ranting and raving like he was on PCP jumped out of the car and sprinted at me. I was very fast 10 years ago – I successfully got away. Otherwise I’m pretty sure he would have actually killed me. Now I’m less young, and still faster than most people, but less willing to bet my life on my ability to outrun some random guy.

          • “My policy is that if you come within arm’s reach while I’m legally crossing with the light, I’m going to smack your car.”
            I’m surprised you haven’t changed your policy, given your close-ish call. There are too many hotheaded drivers in D.C. who interpret car-slapping/smacking/whatever as upping the ante and are willing to respond with physical violence. See:

    • I have thrown my coffee at a car who did this to me and stopped with in inches of my legs…. It made me feel better for a second until I realized I was now down a cup of coffee.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: Office princess is back from her trip to Europe. It was so nice while she was gone.
    Rave: Dinner with Emmaleigh tonight for her happy birthday.

  • Question: I went to checkout a basement apartment for rent yesterday and I saw a drain that looked like a sewage drain in the basement. I liked the apartment but I have never seen a sewage drain inside the basement, my old basement apartment had it outside and we had backup a few times but it mostly stayed outside. Is it normal to have them inside the basement? I am worried about raw sewage backup…thanks

    • Was it a sewage drain or part of a sump pump, which are installed in basements to remove any water than may accumulate (i.e., if the basement floods for some reason)?

    • It’s probably neither sewage nor sump pump. It’s probably just a drain to the storm water system in case the basement floods. The drain would connect to the street drains outside, which are separate from sewage. Depending on where you are, the systems do back up into each other during heavy rains, but that is rare to never in most areas of town.

    • It was a sewage drain, I didnt see a sump pump

      • Sump pumps are under ground. Usually, they collect water in channels beneath the floor, so you wouldn’t have a drain to a sump pump. the purpose of the pump is to prevent the water from coming into the basement.

      • A naive question–what’s the difference?

  • Rant: Good friend and her husband are divorcing. I’m feeling really bummed about this for many reasons, mostly because they’ve been through so much together that I’m sad that the situation has out-maneuvered them. I know they’ve both been dealt some really awful hands, it just makes me so sad to see them part ways. I’m not blaming anyone, I think they’ve both been amazing, and I understand that maybe sometimes you just have to leave before things get too bad. Bu its still really sad. And it doesn’t inspire a lot of hope in me that I’ll ever walk down that road/aisle. Maybe that’s ok though.

    • “And it doesn’t inspire a lot of hope in me that I’ll ever walk down that road/aisle.” Curious: what relevance does your friend’s situation have to your life and your decisions?

      • a fair bit, trust me. I don’t want to get into it here.

      • I don’t know your situation, LBP, but you are not alone in this. While I would absolutely love and cherish a long-term partner, I totally intend to wait a good long while before I actually get married, if ever.

    • Just to provide another perspective… When I separated from my ex-husband, I got a lot of sympathy that I was neither prepared for, nor wanted, which was also a large part of the reason I did not tell a whole lot of people. Not every divorce is a bad thing, and I think people tend to project their ideas of marriage and love and fairy tales on to others, and so when a marriage ends, everyone else is sad, but the people involved could actually be pretty happy about it. Also, it says nothing about you or your future prospects, or even theirs. Every relationship is different. People come together, and sometimes (…maybe a lot of times…) they come apart.

      • yeah, I know, and I appreciate that perspective. And this may very well be a split for the best. I just know she’s sad and he’s sad, and I hate feeling like there’s nothing I can do from here.

      • The fact that a relationship ended doesn’t mean it failed. I consider some divorces to be more “successful” than some marriages.

        • Everything ends badly. Otherwise it wouldn’t end.

          • I disagree. I’ve had relationships that didn’t end badly but ended because of circumstances that were out of everyone’s control. Sometimes – particularly because of external factors – things just don’t work out as much as we try and hope for them to. (Obviously a marriage is more serious than a relationship but still…)

          • This doesn’t make sense.

          • I disagree. I have seen many marriages end where the couple are able to walk away friends. In my honest opinion, it seems like things tend to end badly when people hang on too long.

          • Yea, no. Surely you can understand how “everything ends badly” is patently false, right?

          • Do you know about Freddie Mercury and Mary Austin? They remained best friends after they divorced, he wrote songs about her and continued to refer to her as the love of his life (even while pursing other long term relationships, mostly with men), she was at his side when he died, and he left her everything.
            I’d call that a good ending to a marriage. Just circumstances.

          • I keep forgetting that the millennials don’t have an appreciation for the life lesson of Doug Coughlin, Logical Negativist. (But you, Anonamom – I expected more from you!) Here’s another: “There are two kinds of people in this world, the workers and the hustlers. The hustlers never work and the workers never hustle.” It was just a movie quote. And don’t call me Shirley.

          • lol… I think I’m younger than you think I am, dcd!!

          • I was going to say I think Anonamom IS a millennial as well b/c I don’t think she is much older than me.

          • Urk. Sorry about that – it’s denial of my own age that leads me to believe that anyone with kids the age of yours simply CANNOT be a whole generation younger than I am. I apologize – profusely.

        • You know, I never considered myself a Millenial. They used to call us “Generation Y”. But apparently I am just this side of being a Millenial. According to what I found, anyone born between 1980 and 1994 is considered a Millenial now. Can I at least be considered a ‘mature’ Millenial?!

          • What??? Seriously??? No way. I always thought of myself as Gen X, but I’m just on the end of that range….

          • I put the cutoff between Gen X and millennials at around 1982-84.

          • The cutoff can vary in culture, depending on your family. My youngest sister, born in the early 60’s, is a boomer because she comes from a boomer family – parents met during WWII, had kids from late 40s to early 60s. I have friends born around the same year time she was – who are the oldest in their families with younger siblings – definitely not boomer-identifies due to family circumstances. I assume it works the same with millenials and gen-Xers – your school cohort is only part of the influence on you.

      • topscallop

        Having seen my parents’ divorce, I could not agree more that not every divorce is a bad thing. My parents are so much happier with their respective spouses than they were by the end of their marriage to each other, and my stepparents are wonderful people who contributed significantly to raising me and my siblings. My BF’s parents went through a similar situation, and I think it’s a shared experience that makes our relationship stronger.

        • I know – trust me, I’ve watched couples stay together even though they had come to hate each other, and I can remember thinking “oh my god, just get a divorce already! You’ll make everyone around you, and yourselves, so much less miserable!” This just didn’t happen to be a couple I had ever thought that about, but of course, you never know what goes on inside someone else’s marriage, and I hope that sooner rather than later, they are both feeling really happy with this decision.

        • I wish my parents had divorced sooner. I grew up with parents who moved into the “I hate you” stage about 10 years before they actually split up. I refused to do that to my kids.

        • I always thought my parents should have split up. But they aren’t the kind of people who would have gone on to be happy – they’d have continued to be miserable, and to make their children miserable, if apart, as they did when together.

  • RAVE: I beat dc on not 1 but 2 parking tickets
    RAVE: a good friend is in town this weekend
    RAVE: My contract was awarded, I am employed past 31 AUG

    Rant: the number of relatives and relatives of relatives that have gone to the big disco in the sky keeps climbing, Party on my friends, party on.
    Things that still need to be fixed: the foundation and my Knee, but I will take all the positives I can get

  • Andie302

    Rant: Girls down the street had someone flake out on moving in at the very last minute. If anyone needs a place to stay, the place is nicer in person than it reads in the photos: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/apa/5756385217.html
    Rave: Replacing the front metal steps on our house today – our front yard is a hot mess right now but in about a week it’s going to be doneeeee!
    Rant: Still crazy busy and not loving it

  • Rant: So so tired. Weird that a good night’s sleep makes me even more tired, but it was nice to be able to sleep until 7:30 instead of being awake at the crack of dawn.
    Rant: Watched a heartbreaking documentary about Syrian refuges last night. I want to do something – any recommendations for reputable charities or groups that are helping?
    Rave: Realized that leaving boyfriend’s house at 8:15 gets me to office at 9:05 if I just walk a mile instead of transferring metro lines.
    Revel: I’ll see my family on Friday! I’m looking forward to seeing everyone, and looking forward to the fella meeting my twin brother. I’m going to need to eat all the DQ blizzards and Lone Stars.

  • Rave: My apartment of the last seven years. It’s really great. It’s a small studio, but it has an excellent layout, lots of light, it’s super-well located such that I can walk everywhere I need to go with free laundry, a nice landlord and rent that’s way, way below market rates… pretty much everything I’m looking for…
    Rant: … but something about it is making me sick, and I’m not sure what. Is it mold? There’s no reason to think there’s any water damage in my unit or any surrounding ones. The mold tests showed some (common) mold levels higher than background, but not to the point where they are believed to affect people.
    Rant: Mom was recently forced to move out of a condo because of her neighbor’s behavior. We’re not sure what was going on because the police couldn’t (wouldn’t?) investigate, but there’s some reason to believe it was a meth house. After moving to a new place and continuing to have problems, mom might have to get rid of everything she has, because of potential (apparent?) lingering residual contamination from her old condo.
    Rant: I tried to help mom out with her situation; she brought some stuff to my place and stayed for a few nights… not sure if that might have brought her problems into my awesome apartment. It doesn’t seem like it should, but the similarities between our current situations is… coincidental?
    Lament: I really don’t want to move; I love the place I’m in and I get serious sticker shock looking at rental prices these days (and I’m not a great roommate)… but if an apartment is making you sick, you can’t really stay, can you?

    • Any possibility of a small gas leak? This can lead to respiratory problems and pneumonia. It’s also relatively cheap to find and fix.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Are you confident that the thing that is making you sick is in fact your apartment, and that it is something that is specific to this apartment? (I mean as opposed to seasonal allergies that might get worse inside because you bring pollen in on your skin and hair, get it on your bed and other furniture, etc, or some other sort of indoor allergen that is not seasonal but is not specific to that apartment either, like dust mites)

      • +1. If it started recently I would consider things aside from the actual apartment itself. It would be awful to move out and realize it was something you brought with you and not the apartment.

      • I have some allergy issues, and when I clean up some dust around my place, I’ll start sneezing like a madman, but that’s nothing like the symptoms I’ve had lately. For awhile, I would walk into my apartment and immediately start sweating profusely (and not because it was especially hot).

        I’ve spent a few nights in hotels and visiting friends and family and had no similar problems there, nor do I have the same issues at work, so I’m guessing that it’s something localized to my condo. Could it be my stuff? Maybe! I’m currently working on putting everything into storage and having the place professionally cleaned to see if that makes a difference. Suffice to say, I’m bracing for the worst…

        • Wow, that is very bizarre.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Is your furnace or AC air handler unit located inside of your apartment where you can get to it. If so, look at the filter. If it is one of those spun fiberglass ones that you can pretty much see through, that might be contributing to the issue. If it is covered in gunk, that also might be the issue. (Your office and friends’ apartments may have more effective filtering of the air). Peak ragweed season in DC started roughly 2 weeks ago. It’s really been messing me up. If you are bringing it into your home with you, and your AC unit is recirculating it in the air because it doesn’t filter sh!t, or not circulating any air at all because the filter is full of gunk, your apartment air will be full of ragweed. I used to have a roommate who had serious allergy issues, much worse than mine. He used a portable air filter in his bedroom, and he claimed that it helped a lot.
          It may well be something serious with your unit, I’m just looking for low-hanging fruit here.

          • “It may well be something serious with your unit, I’m just looking for low-hanging fruit here.”
            Agreed. Also, you may want to get a carbon monoxide detector if you don’t have one already. It’s a good thing to have even though one would hope it would never be an issue.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Yes, definitely, get a carbon monoxide detector if you don’t have one. No reason to believe this is the present issue, but yes, everybody should have [at least] one of those.

          • I have access to the HVAC unit that services my apartment. The mold remediator that came out told me that the filter I was using (that was previously recommended by the HVAC repairman) was completely ineffectual and recommended a different type of filter. I switched filters and when the HVAC guy came back, he told me that the new filter I had installed was basically garbage. Experts!

            Anyway, thanks for the input guys. Nice to know I’m not missing any of that low-hanging fruit… well, nicer if I had, I guess, but still… I’ll update when I clean the place out and reevaluate.

          • My AC guys told me not to buy the super-filtering AC filters because it makes it harder for the AC to run. They told me to get the cheaper, regular ones. They clearly are looking at AC life, rather than best air filtering. At least that was what the company that installed and serviced my central AC thought – or the particular service guy who told me that.

          • HaileUnlikely

            On filters, I find some of the washable, reusable electrostatic ones rated at MERV 6 or 7 to be a good happy medium between the extreme of the see-through fiberglass filter (doesn’t filter squat) and the ones that look like pleated paper but are arguably too restrictive to airflow. I use the “WEB Products Eco Plus” washable reusable electrostatic air filter. They’re $20 on Amazon or Home Depot, but last basically forever (I have 2 of them, so I can swap in a clean one while I’m washing the other one and then waiting for it to dry). It filters much much more than the cheapo fiberglass filters, honestly not as much as some of the higher-end pleated paper ones sold by 3M, but doesn’t restrict air flow anywhere near as much as those either.

          • Also, check your other appliances to see if they’ve got mold – drip pan under refrigerator, food filter in dishwasher, etc.

        • Good suggestions from Haile and FG on troubleshooting by checking the HVAC filter and possibly getting an air purifier and/or CO detector.
          Also… if you have the unit professionally cleaned, can you “test” it for a little while with it (mostly) empty? And perhaps try to get everything in storage cleaned (esp. upholstered items) before it gets moved back in?
          Did the weird symptoms start happening only after your mom brought some of her stuff into your apartment?

          • That’s the plan: empty the condo, professional cleaning, possibly repainting and duct cleaning and then re-evaluation for a week or two in the empty apartment.
            It’s really impossible to tell when things started, because the onset seemed so gradual. Other people don’t notice when they come by, but I started noticing some small differences after mom spent a few nights here… I wrote that off as excessive concern in my head, but maybe not?
            After I moved a couple items in more recently, it seemed to pick up more then. It also seems to be worse when it’s hotter. I don’t mind DC summers, so I usually don’t run a whole lot of AC, but cranking that up and keeping the place cool seems to help? It’s so strange…

          • additional rave: figuring out paragraph spacing in Popville commenting! I’ve been an reader here for awhile, but I rarely post anything, so I’ve never given much thought to (or sometimes noticed) the periods and asterisks between paragraphs…
            … but now I get it!

          • It is likely the items you moved in recently.
            Also, talk to meth experts about whether any stuff mom brought in and took out again (I’m assuming the stuff you recently brought in was not from her place) could possibly leave chemical residue in your place – I don’t know enough to know.
            If what you brought in has upholstery or fabric, get rid of it. You could be allergic to horsehair used in old fabric, any chemicals used on that fabric or upholstery, etc.

          • Have yourself checked out for evidence of meth chemicals exposure, maybe?

        • If you are sensitive to something in the apartment, professional cleaning may make it worse – they tend to use strong chemicals. Make sure someone cleans with natural, green cleaners to avoid making your problems worse – this is not the norm with cleaners.
          Other things to consider: 1) you sweat – maybe you need AC now? hotels and workplaces are bound to have them, friends and family may have AC or better air circulation. Try adding AC if you don’t have it, or try a dehumidifier and see if that helps. 2) Maybe your AC needs cleaning out – there are services that will do this. 3) Furniture made from particle board of any sort will outgas chemicals that can collect in a room and sicken you – did you get any new furniture recently? Old stuff tends to have outgassed already and be OK. Ditto with anything upholstered (the foam and/or the fire retardants used in them emit strong stuff, is better when a few years old. Same for mattresses with foam in them. Same for some cheap rugs that are treated with rubber chemicals on the back to fix the tufting (they are not the hand-knotted kind.) Make sure there’s nothing editing scent (which can make sensitive people very sick) in your home – that includes your laundry soap (use free and clear ones only), any fabric softener (stop using it – you don’t need it), any air freshener, your dishwasher detergent (use something that isn’t scented), no air fresheners, check your shampoo, soap, dishwashing soap, perfume, cologne, etc – all products with scent. I’ve discovered I get sick if I use nail polish inside my home – now I only apply it outside. 4) Meth chemicals are horrible. Get rid of anything your mother brought in. If worried, there are tests for that stuff, no? 5) Did you start any new medications lately? Some really common ones (like birth control pills) can have side effects that make some people sick – all can have side effects that affect a minority of people who take them.
          Once you’ve considered all of the above, and find they aren’t it, go back to your original theory- there’s probably mold in the walls somewhere that you can’t see. If you can’t get your landlord to investigate, and you’ve eliminated all the other potential causes, you have to move. I’m sensitive to mold and mildew, and react to it at levels below where others smell it (I can smell it). If your sense is that your apartment is making you sick (and you like your apartment and don’t really want to move), chances are good that it is your apartment making you sick. But first see if there is any renovation or other work going on elsewhere in the building that could be making you sick, or something in the basement. Or something just outside your windows (I once looked at a place with side windows on the alley to a car painting shop – between the exhaust of the cars in the alley and/or the fumes from the paint, I knew I could not live there. The condo itself was great inside though.) Good luck.

          • I’m not the OP, but thanks for this extremely thorough answer! I didn’t know that particleboard could outgas.

  • Rant: I just got treated in my office kitchen to a two-pronged pitch to “Vote for Trump, because we can’t have a pathological liar in the Oval Office.” WT Actual F.
    Rant: Irony is apparently dead. At least in my office kitchen.
    Rant: Both these people live in Virginia. Not surprising, but also not encouraging, electorally speaking.

    • I was on vacation in NC last week. Trump-Pence signs EVERYWHERE. Not only that, but some people set up a Trump Store in the Food Lion parking lot. Then we got home to my parents [in Virginia] and I am greeted by the huge Trump Country sign in their neighborhood. These people are not going away either. I can only imagine their reactions if/when Clinton wins.

      • oh god we are going to the beach this week in NC, and now I also dread visiting the local food lion

        • Haha, this was in Avon. Being in Canada I obviously don’t see a ton of Trump stuff, but I was kind of surprised just how proud Trump supports are in NC!! Oh and we bought crabs and they had bible verses and Trump signs all over the store. Very different world.

          • You’d think that the Bible verses would burst into flames after being brought in close proximity to a Trump sign . . .

    • Ugh. Saw a TON of Trump signs driving from NOVA to MI, throughout PA and OH. Lovely.

    • Trump signs are like obese people– you don’t see them in the city, but go anywhere else and you’ll spot them here and there.

      • That’s a little bit of a distasteful comparison, don’t you think?

        • Oh, is it wrong to say that obesity if more common outside of the DC? Ten years ago I would have said children but that’s no longer the case.

  • Rant: witnessed a car hit a dog on Florida last night, stop, and then drive off. Seriously who could do that?!? It was devastating to witness
    Rave: looks like pup will survive. We rushed him to emergency hospital. He was so sweet but was pretty beaten up.

    • Omg! I’m so glad you were there to help.

    • What did you expect the driver to do? If I hit a dog thats by itself, and running across the street, once I make sure the hit dog didn’t cause an accident with another car, I would drive off as well.

      • Honestly, I would have pulled over and called 911 or googled the number for animal control and called them if 911 couldn’t route me. Especially if the dog may have been alive. This isn’t some random animal like a raccoon in the street. It was probably someone’s.

    • I’m so sorry that you had to see that! I experienced something similar about two years ago in Baltimore while riding in a car with some friends. I made the driver of our car pull over and we called animal control and waited with the poor thing until they arrived, then called to check up on the dog the next day (it just had a broken leg and they were able to find its family, so happy ending!)
      It astonishes me that anyone would just drive off.

    • To clarify, the owner of the dog quickly ran to get dog in middle of the street, as did other strangers. IMO the driver should have had the decency to pull over, get out, and check on the dog. It was lying lifeless in road when driver drove away. It was an accident so we aren’t talking about any legal liability, i doubt this is even considered a hit and run, but there is moral decency that is lacking with this person.

      The owner of the dog was so distraught and honestly unable to process anything, so we encouraged her to take the dog to the vet asap. She couldn’t drive bc of her mental state so I jumped in her car and drove her. I don’t even think she realized a stranger was driving her car till we got to the animal hospital!

      • If the owner is there, there seems even less reason to stop. Checking actually delays the dog getting medical attention.
        How did the dog get hit? Jump from the owner’s car?

        • I second anon spock’s question. (Not to blame anyone, but because if the owner was at the scene and the dog wasn’t lost/stray/unattended, the whole situation is even more frustrating.)

          • Ok I get all your points but I’m trying to put myself in the place of the driver and he/she didn’t even stick around to see if anyone, let alone the owner, tended to the dog. Legit hit the dog, breaked and looked for about 3 seconds, then drove off. I get not everyone loves dogs the way some of us do, but to me it’s hard to see this as anything but heartless. Props to OTHER drivers however who stopped and got out of their cars. Traffic was a mess for a few minutes but I hope the owner is able to recall the dozens of helpful people over the thoughtless actions of one

          • Oh I totally agree CatieCat. Just between the driver being a horrible person by not stopping, and the owner there (which leads me to think that there was a chance it could have been prevented — although unexpected accidents happen), it’s just a big ball of frustrating …. frustration. Thank YOU for stopping and helping. I would like to think I would have done the same.

          • Maybe the owner was walking the dog on-leash and and somehow the dog managed to pull the leash out of her hand and run into the street?

  • That One Guy

    Question: Any Masters of Public Adminstration or Masters of Public Policy here on PoP? A cousin is contemplating the merits of one program over the other for grad school and wants some advice.

  • Rant/Rave: Tearing up on the Amtrak commute in due to thinking through all the awesome memories my buddy and I have while trying to finish writing the wedding toast.
    Rave: Cinnamon Bourbon vanilla pancakes at brunch this weekend. Yum.
    Rant: It’s nearly my friend’s birthday – last year on her birthday we were trying to care for her following her first suicide attempt and then soon thereafter her second attempt. It’s been a year (more than a year we’ve been trying to help her through these mental health issues) and part of me feels like a failure since she’s still troubled, still not getting good care, and apparently, not talking to me anymore.
    Rave: (that I feel guilty about) – she’s still here. She’s still alive.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: it’s my birthday and I decided to stay home today.
    Rant: It would have been better to decided to stay home yesterday instead of this morning, but whatever.
    Rave: dinner with QZ tonight

  • Rave: After being in a funk for the past few days related to Rebound Dude (even though Id decided a couple weeks ago I didn’t have romantic feelings for anyway — but irrationally became hurt when I saw hed started dating someone else), I have sort of gotten past it. Running has helped unclog the brain. Its hard when you meet someone who is probably a good dude, but, for many reasons, is probably not the dude for you. Trying to fit a square peg into a round hole is a bit pointless.
    Rave: Started new high profile post in my organization. Have high hopes that Ill be able to contribute to the team and that it will be interesting work.

    • Congrats on the new gig! I need to get on your workout plan if it helps you rationalize dating decisions.

      • my main workout plan is ‘do stuff that gets you sweaty!’. also, Im in a very competitive fitbit challenge group, so I find myself running around during the day to keep myself in the game 😉 whatever works!

    • I saw a pin on Pinterest recently that said “running is the washing machine of the mind” — so true! Glad it has helped provide some clarity.

  • Rant: This is one of those mornings where I am literally spilling everything possible. From coffee beans to dried black eyed peas, I feel like I’ve spent the morning sweeping up my messes.
    Rave: Closing on the HELOC in a couple of days so we can put a deposit on the bathroom remodeling project by early next week. I just really want everything done before the end of October.
    Rant: For the first time in a long time, I really wanted a cup of coffee this morning. I haven’t had any in over 7 months and I could practically taste the dark roast French press coffee I was craving. But I was good and resisted.

  • Rant: Tired/groggy.
    Rant: Really did not want to go outside this morning and water my outdoor plants…
    Rave: … but I made myself do it, and it wasn’t that bad, and I won’t have to do it for another few days.
    Rant: I probably have another Rave, but am just too tired/groggy to remember it.

  • Rant: the sudden discovery of an extra 11k needed for closing costs. Seriously?!
    Revel: the realization that I can scrounge it together without needing to tap my retirement account.
    Revel: being able to have a mature, serious conversation with the love of my life about how we can both better communicate and manage stress in these situations.

    • Whoa! Did your lender (or prospective lenders) not give you a worksheet thing breaking down in detail the various elements of the closing costs?

      • Yeah I’d also be interested to hear the situation that led to this, as I’ve never purchased a home before and would like to know about these kinds of potential issues!

      • They did, but apparently there was a major issue with the property taxes—about $215/month extra. Aaaugh!

        • HaileUnlikely

          Has to be more than that, though that itself sucks plenty. Even if they require you to deposit a full year of taxes in your escrow account, which I doubt, that would be $215 x 12= $2580 or so, not $11K.

          • There is. The tax situation basically disqualified us from an 8k lender credit we were expecting. The good news is now we will be paying a lower interest rate, but we weren’t planning to take such a huge hit upfront. I know it’s for the best in the long run but blah.

          • There are certain things on what used to be called the good faith estimate that you are provided in advance of closing that cannot be changed – and if they’re wrong, the closing company has to pay the cost. I have no idea if this qualifies (sorry I can’t be more help) but it’s worth checking into.

          • “Good faith estimate” — that’s the worksheet-y thing I was thinking of. I had completely forgotten its name.

  • Rave: Work has finally calmed down a bit, and I’m settling into my new position. It’s always a nice feeling when imposter syndrome starts diminishing…
    Rave: I got a new bed last weekend and it is so lovely…
    Rant: … that I haven’t wanted to get out of it this week.
    Rave: Excited for time with friends and beautiful weather this weekend. I *think* I can make it through 3.5 more days of work.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: I’m taking over paying bills and managing finances for IDGI SR and it’s been relatively painless so far since his wife kept a Rolodex in the guest bedroom next to the computer with all accounts, userids and passwords listed.
    Rant: All her adult children and some adult grandchildren seem to know this. Plus her grandson, the recovering heroin addict, stayed in that room in July and apparently stole $300 cash from her purse and a $10K diamond necklace is missing. I was busy changing passwords last night and will place credit alerts today.
    Rant: The above is the least of the sh*t going down. Her adult daughters and two adult granddaughters are horrible people. One was at IDGI’s door Sunday night to give him her list of thing she wanted from her mother’s estate since he wasn’t answering her phone calls. I’ve decided not to provide a detailed Rant about what happened at the funeral and dinner afterwards but I’m fairly certain I will win at any future “Funerals Gone Bad” games. My father, his wife, their church and community do not deserve this!

    • IDGI, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My family is also going through some really crappy estate stuff right now, so there are plenty of us out there who can at least somewhat relate. It really is the worst.

    • You are a good son. If you feel like outsourcing blistering, profanity-riddled email diatribes to said adult daughters and granddaughters, please let me know, I’m happy to help.

      • I Dont Get It

        Haha! I appreciate the offer! My niece just sent me a message that Evil Daughter #2 had sent her a Friend request on Facebook. I suggested she update her status first with how she just bought a beautiful new car with her share of IDGI’s wife’s estate. Then accept the Friend request and sit back and enjoy the show!

    • I’m very sorry they’re compounding the difficulty of a death in the family. As if it weren’t hard enough. But at least Mrs. IDGI Sr. had her Rolodex. Good planning there.
      I’m so grateful that my family talks about things. My parents, who have a good many years left, have a will that they update periodically, and the heirs know what it says. No surprises. My mom gives us all an heirloom each Christmas, in full view of the whole family, and based on conversations about what each of us likes and would use and conserve for our children. She makes a point of letting the grandchildren know that “this will come to you someday” so there can really be no ambiguity. And then she tells us stories about its provenance, and which ancestors wore/ used it, etc etc. It’s my favorite part of Christmas.

      • Quotia Zelda

        My grandmother did this, and my mother and aunt do, too. We call them “house presents.”

      • I love this idea! I’m very lucky in that, in my immediate family, everyone has been generous and open about who gets what and why, but I would have loved to know more of the “back stories” of things, where possible. And just having a family that has this kind of discussion, early and often, is a great thing!

      • I Dont Get It

        Oh I forgot to mention, Mrs. IDGI’s sister has cornered my sister twice and told her that Mrs. IDGI wanted my sister to have her wedding and engagement rings since she knows her daughters will pawn them. My sister doesn’t want them, and why should she, and we are certain if that was really Mrs. IDGI’s request she would have told my dad.

    • Quotia Zelda

      That really sucks. I will never cease to be amazed at the ways some people behave.

    • That One Guy

      I get the feeling that the kids may have take the term “over my dead body” to heart and literally started to demand that things be handed over at the funeral.

      • I Dont Get It

        Exactly. We’ve made some bad jokes about how her children think checks are passed out at the funeral for attendance.

    • So much awfulness! I’m sorry you’re having to deal with people being greedy monsters on top of trying to help your father. You really are a good son.

    • I am so sorry, IDGI.

  • I am trying to plan a getaway for four women (incl. me) the weekend of Oct. 7. People are kind of open about where, but we are trying to stay under $1000 each. We’ve looked at Salamander and Miraval, both pricey and booked up. Has anyone else planned a great girls trip involving wine/spas/relaxation that they can share? I’ve also looked at B&Bs in the VA wine country, but they strike me as a bit too stodgy for this group

  • Rant: Mental illness. Watching a family member self-destruct and being stuck with a legal system that only lets us get her the help she needs after she hurts herself/someone else, or gets arrested and ends up in the criminal justice system. How is there any more dignity in letting someone deteriorate like this rather than forcing them to get help? The pendulum has swung way too far the other way.

    Double rant: Other family members that don’t believe in science and medicine and think this is all some religious trial that can be prayed or miracle-ed away. FML.

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