Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user angela n.

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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230 Comment

  • Rave: It’s Friday and a good friend is in town.
    Rant: People who don’t do their jobs. Woman in my office wants me to take on some of her responsibilities though it is one of the MAIN FOCUSES of HER job. And I am swamped. She got pissed when my boss told her that I am not responsible for doing her job.
    Rave: I’m in love and he loves me and It’s hard to stay angry about anything.
    Rant: He’s not local.
    Rave: I see him next week.

    Hope everyone has the best weekend ever.

  • This goat’s face is a perfect representation of me watching Trump’s speech last night.

  • Rave: After moving to DC, I’m met so many new people and created friendships that were refreshing
    Rant: People don’t stay here long in DC, many of my friends are gone quite soon and friendships seem to dissolve quickly in DC, why is that? its frustrating
    Rant: The dating scene here is also quite bizarre. Most people don’t go out that much.
    Rave: It’s Friday – I’ll just date myself I guess. Netflix here I come.

    • I’m curious… what do you mean by “most people don’t go out that much”? Seems like D.C. has a pretty active nightlife. Did you mean that people dating are “Netflixing and chilling” instead of actually going out?

      • I think DC’s nightlife is pretty lame considering how young the city is. But DC is also full of more “nerdy” professions, so not surprising. A lot of people in this city are lacking in personality.

        • I would describe the DC nightlife as tame and that you practically already know what type of people you are going to meet and what type of things your going to get into or run into before you even go out no matter where you go out.

        • I wouldn’t necessarily equate nerdy with lacking personality. It’s more than you might not share common interests.

          • agreed. Personally I think the “nerdy’ folk tend to be more interesting. And I think the nightlife is just fine. I can usually find something cool to do everyday of the week.

          • Didn’t mean for those two sentences to be directly correlated. There’s a lack of personality in this town though. Too many bitter people who think for themselves and walk looking down at the sidewalk. And a lot of smart people who have NO street smarts.

      • Not in expperience (I’m not part of the dating scene, but I find it difficult to make plans with my friends who are going on online dates every night of the week).

    • I feel like people go out a lot here especially since there is something to do in the city every day, unlike other places.

      I also don’t find the dating scene much different than any other city. Although the first question you get asked might be “oh where do you work” lol. I wouldn’t say it’s snobby either unless that’s the crowd you hang around with.

    • I find dating here to be flakey (for lack of a better word). Lots of people talk and match, etc and then never end up meeting. Or meeting once and then people ghost. But I have friends around the country and I haven’t heard any different stories in those cities either. It’s just that some cities are bigger, so perhaps people feel like they go through potential dates a little less quickly…

    • I think a lot of us are in the same boat in regards to creating great friendships, not knowing if those friends will stay in town though.

    • I find people here aren’t interested in making any new real friendships – they are just looking for people to go to things with them so they won’t have to go alone – while, meanwhile, their main focus is on meeting someone to date when they do go out someplace with others. Obviously, these are mostly (but not all) single people in my general demographic, which may not be yours.
      .
      I don’t think transience has anything to do with not making friends – people move away from other cities, too. Real good friends are a treasure in life, and remain so for decades, even after they move away. I do find the people I meet in DC aren’t interested in lasting friendships as much as people in other cities I’ve lived in – though I’m not sure if it says something about the location, or the time we are living through in general now.

  • Rave: Baby Artie only woke up twice last night, and I got almost eight hours of sleep. I truly needed that rest. I feel so much more mentally alert.
    Rave: I did not listen to Trump’s speech last night, and I think my blood pressure thanks me.
    Rant: The reality of Donald Trump becoming president. I have a really hard time being patient with my progressive friends who say they are sitting out the election because they don’t like Hillary (or are voting for a third party candidate). Do we remember Bush v. Gore?
    Rave: It is Friday.

    • I didn’t watch any of the RNC speeches. I already have enough stress in my life, didn’t feel the need to add anymore. I’m actively considering volunteering for Hillary. I haven’t campaigned since Kerry/Edwards in 2004, but I want to do everything I can to get her in the office. This isn’t the time for a third party. If we get Hillary in, and the third parties rally at the local levels, then in 4 years I think its a legit option. But this year? Nope. Not the time. Not the place.

    • Ugh I totally second your rant. Otherwise rational people are being completely irrational on this. I think people need to swallow their pride or “conscience” or whatever it is that’s keeping them from voting and think about the implication a Trump presidency would have for everyone in this country who isn’t a white man. Seriously. Get over it. Would they rather have Trump as president? Because they will be handing this election to him by “sitting this one out.” So angry!

      • Anyone who sits out this election cannot call themselves progressive because they will be contributing to the election of the most regressive major party candidate this county has seen in a century, maybe ever.

    • Yay for sleep! Mtpbaby was also up “only” twice (a win compared to the previous night), but I was really hoping for better since he didn’t go to sleep until after 10! Silly boy took a 3.5 hour nap until 7pm and then didn’t want to go to bed at anywhere near a normal time. At least he seems to be feeling better 🙂

    • That One Guy

      I’ve actively avoided RNC coverage, but did entertain myself yesterday by imagining what Donald Trump’s take on coal would be. It goes something like:

      Coal? Coal is cheap. What we’re going to do is turn it into diamonds. You know diamonds, right, they’re worth a lot. What we’re going to do is build a machine that turns coal into diamonds. We’re going to make so many diamonds we’re going to win.

    • It’s hard to get a read on it because in polls, Clinton has better support from her own party than Trump has, but it doesn’t FEEL that way. Maybe because Republicans are more so quiet about it (because they are embarrassed) vs. liberals complain.
      .
      But yes, the logic is baffling.

    • Ahhhhh. Remind your friends that it’s the president who nominates the supreme court justices and chooses who will head the agencies that we depend on.

    • If your friends live in DC, it won’t matter – we have an electoral system, and Hilary will win DC 3 electoral votes regardless – I think DC went for Obama by something like 97% in his first election – there are very few republicans here. If they live in other states, it may very well matter – I’m a firm believer in practically voting for the lesser of two evils (as I have felt about most of the presidential candidates – democratic – that I’ve voted for in my life) – because that DOES make some difference on domestic stuff, but hardly on the all-war-all-the-time era we are in now.
      .
      Bush v. Gore was a result of a coup by the Supreme Court which refused to let Florida count its ballots as the constitution provides for – not because people sat out the election. Not to mention election fraud preceding the case.

      • Yes and no. If some people in Florida voted for Gore instead of third party, Gore would have been ahead prior to the recount.

        • I get that. But cynical me says then there may have been more voting fraud involved specifically so we’d get to where we ended up.

  • Rave/Rant: Had a blast at Brew at the Zoo. However they need to be better organized, they ran out of glasses 30 minutes into the event and we had to wait for them to head to the other entrance to bring new ones. The whole process took about 20 minutes. Not a good look.

    Rave: Not as hungover as I could be this morning!!

    Rave: My rehearsal this evening was canceled! I’m going to catch a Fringe show and relax!

  • Rave: Found that we’re out of the applesauce I need for a recipe but happily discovered 2 granny smith apples on the counter. My house smells wonderful with the smell of applesauce cooking away on the stovetop.
    Rave: Trying out a recipe for breakfast cookies… we’ll see if the other Mrs. Rabbit will buy the idea (she’s strangely opposed to sweet breakfasts).
    Rave: We will be inundated with tomatoes in about 2 weeks.

  • Rant: it’s been a super boring several days. I’m almost anxious for school to start again.
    ? I need to make new friends. I’m not all that extroverted so it’s difficult for me.
    Revel: picked up a boring gig that will at least keep me busy for a few days

  • hammers

    rant: my manager. she’s really nice and very kind, but essentially spineless and unhelpful. She doesn’t stand up for me when I am treated poorly, she doesn’t advocate for me when I am passed over for opportunities. She doesn’t help me in any meaningful way on the rare occasion I am stuck on a project. I basically feel like the less I talk to her, the less opportunities she has to disappoint me.

    • That One Guy

      Are there any other persons who can act like an advocate/mentor to you at work?

      • hammers

        definitely not. this place is a joke as far as leadership. Her boss is a jack as s, and above him is even worse.

    • Have you given her this feedback? My manager used to be the same way (she was new to having direct reports) and she did a total 180 (it took several tough convos, though). Good luck.

      • hammers

        how would you frame it?

        • Good question. I’d point out specific examples where you felt you could have been put on a project, where you would have liked if she’d stood up for you, where a certain thing happened on a project and she didn’t protect/advocate for you. A good manager understands that their job is to manage up, not down and she should be acting as an advocate rather than a doormat.
          .
          I would write on a sticky note as a reminder for my weekly one-on-one meeting every time an incident (like what you’re describing) happened.

    • Sorry to hear this Hammers….would your supervisior listen to your concerns? Are there other options within your organization?

      • hammers

        there are no other options; and I’m not sure how I would give that feedback. She knows that things are sucky for me, and she has basically said there is nothing she can do but empathize. I don’t know how to tell her that is not good enough. Also, sticking up for myself is not one of my strong suits

        • Could you say, “Manager, I need to share with you that I do not feel you do as good a job advocating for me with X as you could. While I appreciate that you are willing to listen to my concerns, I need more than a friendly ear. When I come to you with problems, it’s because i need assistance. I do not feel supported in the workplace.”
          I’ve worked for similar types. A lot of times, it just helps to have a direct conversation.

    • hugs, hammers! I wish I could fix it or even offer suggestions, but I’m always here to listen if you need it.

    • In that position, I’d say it is time to look for a new job. Or I’d say that if you were in the private sector. Many gov. workers I know put up with that stuff for the incredibly increased job security they have, pay raises and retirement, and will wait it out until they can retire, even if that is decades away. Either way, I’m guessing you are not uncomfortable enough to move on yet.

  • Andie302

    Rave: Fantastic time last night at Brew at the Zoo
    Potential rant turned rave: I left my wallet at the office by accident last night but the ladies checking ID’s were kind enough to let me in anyway. They saved my night!
    Rave: Delicious food at Purple Patch – I want to go there again!
    Rave: Headed south for a weekend on the river – my parents are coming to spend the weekend with accounterings parents 🙂
    Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!

  • Question for Journalists out there in Popville?!? This has been bothering me all week. Why do the articles discussing Melania Trump refer to her as “Ms. Trump”? As opposed to “Mrs. Trump”? Is it just like an AP style or something. Please advise.
    Rave: BEST day yesterday. Went to DMV inspection station, took a whole 5 minutes, Nats game (go Dodgers) then pool time, which included eating Popeyes AND an outside nap! Crashed super early and got a good night’s sleep.
    Rant: Who has seen this viral “Jamie Davenport” post on facebook that is being shared? I RARELY share political/racial stuff on facebook, but her story is heartbreaking and I encourage you to read it. We have so far to go as a country, it really saddens me.

    • Farragut

      I’m not a journalist, but yeah, style guide basically: “4. Use Ms. on second reference for women who do not hold doctorates (use Miss or Mrs. if requested by the individual).”

    • I was wondering when I first saw it in the New York Times if perhaps she’d specified “Ms.” as her preferred title. I’ve definitely seen the Times use “Mrs.”
      .
      I think maybe the reason this never seemed noteworthy to me before is that Melania Trump has come onto the public scene basically only in relation to her husband. I guess when I read in the NYT about a woman who happens to be married but the article isn’t focusing on her marriage or her husband, I don’t really notice whether it’s Ms. Jane Husbandslastname or Mrs. Jane Husbandslastname.

      • Yes, this. Politics aside, her entire existence in the news is her due to her marital status. Nice explanation, thanks.

      • NYT has its own style manual, which determines usage such as Ms.

        • Right. I just wish they’d make their style guide generally available, for the curious. 😉
          .
          The NYT is unusual in that it uses titles before last names, whereas most other publications use just last names — in most newspapers, the Ms. vs. Mrs. thing wouldn’t be an issue.

    • Seriously??? Women have generally been referred to as Ms. for decades now – it is NOT a synonym for Miss.

      • yes, SERIOUSLY. It’s a question. When I took english in college (less than DECADES ago, actually 1 decade ago), i recall that you write Mrs. if the person is married and takes the husband’s name. Thanks for making people feel safe asking questions in this forum, anon!

        • About how old was your instructor?
          .
          In a previous job I had a bunch of style guides and a book on protocol. I think the books from the early ’90s treated “Ms.” as though it were a strange oddity that might fall out of fashion… but I think it was more accepted in the business world than the protocol guide accounted for.
          .
          I’m surprised that an instructor would tell you in 2006 to default to Mrs. Jane Husbandslastname — that strikes me as very outdated.

        • I guess it’s only an issue if you know that a woman is 1) married and 2) has taken her husband’s last name. If you’re writing about someone you know only in a professional context, you might not know whether 1 and 2 are applicable, and these days “Ms.” is pretty firmly established as the default title.

          • I’m curious, is this more of an etiquette issue versus grammar?Just genuinely curious. I had been taught that “Ms” should always be used as default when you don’t know someone. You risk more offense calling someone “Mrs” without knowing the situation than you would “Ms”.
            – Signed, Ms-don’t-you-dare-call-me-Mrs. Anonamom 😉

          • Yeah, I’d say it’s a protocol/etiquette issue, not a grammatical one.
            .
            And I agree with “You risk more offense calling someone ‘Mrs’ without knowing the situation than you would ‘Ms’.”

        • I was looking at the writing guides I used back when I was teaching freshman English (more than a decade ago) and they’re silent on the issue — they just say to place the title before the name.

  • Rant: LovelyLadyLab (the one with diabetes) has been up twice every night barking for more water and to be let out to pee. It’s like have a baby all over again. I think (hope) her meds are off causing excessive thirst and frequent urination, so back to the vet. Aside from the health woes, she is still a very happy dog and has seemed to bounce back. However, her blood work after the treatment was over for the Lyme’s was not great, so this whole ‘bounce back’ thing could indeed be very temporary. She’s an older lady and none of this is surprising, but it’s sad knowing that the end is probably more near than we thought. I know it will hit everyone hard, my partner and my pooch especially. The kids, being ever pragmatic are already planning her funeral and replacement.

    • I dread thinking what your mom will say if she finds out.

      • Oh, she would absolutely love the opportunity to say that she was right and that it’s all be a waste of money.
        This reminds me though; there was discussion this weekend regarding our use of a lawn service and how wasteful this is with a grown man, teenaged boy, and pre-teen boy in the house (I would like to add grown woman to this list, but whatever, lawn work can be “man’s work” for the purposes of this conversation). Eyes were rolled, but explanations were NOT offered for her consumption/criticism so as to avoid prolonging an unnecessary discussion (trying to following “WWHD?”!). I spoke to her the other day and she dropped in the conversation that they started using a lawn service too, and as long as we can afford it then it’s ok. Umm. Thanks for the approval? It’s interesting that it seems the less I seek her approval the more she seems to want to give it. Just an observation, and also once again an anecdote as to how using Hax advice is a life/sanity saver.

    • Human diabetic here. Definitely sounds like classic high blood sugar symptoms. Hopefully a tweak to the meds will solve things! i hope you have lots more time with her!

  • Rave: Had dinner at Tail Up Goat….awesome and not obnoxiously expensive
    Rant: hot, Hot, HOT and no friends with a pool

  • Rant: So many people choosing to watch the RNC even though they know that it will piss them off. It’s quite bizarre to me that so many people are deliberately choosing to do things that they know will make them unhappy. (This rant applies more generally but I’m trying to stay focused here.)

    • I see your point, however, I feel it is important to get information from first hand sources so that I can form my own opinion. It’s always best to go to the primary source yourself even if you have a great secondary source. In my opinion, it’s all about being a well-informed citizen/voter. To be perfectly honest, I think avoiding election coverage or any sort of news coverage because it is upsetting is a ‘head in the sand’ technique. Sitting around ignoring the Trump campaign or the presidential election is not going to make it not happen, and if anything, that is exactly what will allow him to win.

      • But you can only consume but so much information from first hand sources, and the RNC is basically nothing but a republican pep rally. Not watching it is not the same thing as keeping your head in the sand. Especially if you already know you’re never going to vote for Trump.

      • I dunno. I take your point, but I also know that watching the convention isn’t going to change my mind, and I’d vote regardless of whether I watched the coverage or not. I work too close to politics (without being directly involved) to have the stomach for the brinkmanship and games. So I don’t watch.
        .
        Similarly, avoiding all news because it is upsetting may not be the way to go to be an informed individual. However, there is *so* much coverage of so many awful things that sometimes one needs to take a break if their well-being is taking a hit.

    • Agreed – I have avoided all this nonsense as much as possible, because I know that all it will do is make me angry. It’s not going to change how I vote and can only serve to make me anxious and angry. I know one can’t avoid all unpleasant things in life, but I can choose not to subject myself to 5 days worth of inanity.

      • and besides, I don’t want to give the RNC and the drooling, slavish media we have more eyeballs. I refuse to feed into what they want me to feed into, which is “politics as circus maximus”

    • I avoided most of it, but I did watch part of it last night.
      .
      Anonamom has a very good point about primary sources. To me, one of the most interesting things (and I’m not sure if the news outlets have covered it) was that Ivanka Trump said something like “fighting beside my father” that made me wonder if she’s being eyed (or is eyeing) to serve as First Lady in the event of a Trump presidency. It seems like she’d be much better suited than Melania.

      • Interesting. Though didn’t she state she isn’t a republican in her speech? Then again, neither is Trump, really.

        • I turned on the TV partway through, so I don’t know. Even if she isn’t, I think she’d still be a much more capable First Lady than Melania.
          .
          Assuming Hillary is elected (I would like to think this is a given, and it frightens me that Trump has as much support as he does), it will be interesting to see how/what Bill Clinton does as First Gentleman, and whether the role of presidential spouse will be different in the future as a result.
          .
          I feel a little sorry for Melania — she’s not cut out to be a politician’s spouse. I think most people with spouses like that decide not to run for president.

          • It’s about time for him to trade her in for a newer model anyway isn’t it?

          • Blithe

            I startled myself by actually feeling sorry for Melania as well. This was not at all what she signed on for — and to make a speech in a second language in front of millions, took courage, although given Trump’s history, I admit to wondering if there were special baubles dangled as rewards for her poised performance. I also wonder if the plagiarism was a ploy to garner more attention, but that’s a topic for another post. If it wasn’t deliberate, then I feel even more, and more genuinely, sorry for Melania.

    • Blithe

      Um, ’cause Knowledge is Power. If having more information prompts more people to vote, and prompts more people to urge others to vote, that, to my way of thinking, is a whole lot less bizarre than actively avoiding painful information that will likely lead to even more painful, long-term consequences.
      – In “general” terms, my response might be different. I’m not advocating masochism. I am advocating for getting “enough” (whatever that means to you) information to allow you/us to be informed voters and active participants in the political process.

      • Knowledge is power, but so are food, money, and a lot of other things. For all those things, “more” is not an unambiguously good thing, and I don’t think people are very good at recognizing the line because (broad, sweeping generalization here) we’re not encouraged to acknowledge that there is a line. I guess that’s my perspective in a nutshell.

        • Going with your example, just as to one person “too much” is considered “not enough” for food, money, and other things, it’s the same with politics. But also, after reading through the comments, I think there is a distinction to make. While I hate seeing Trump’s face or hearing the absolute rubbish that spews from his mouth, I see it has a call to action, or more re-action. I don’t hear his words and thing “we’re f*cked” I hear them and think “great, this is why we need to get to work.” I am just as fearful of a Trump presidency as any other sane person, but it does not paralyze me with anxiety either. If that makes sense?

    • I usually enjoy following election coverage, but I’ve been head-in-sand this whole election cycle – it is the only way I can deal with it. I’ve got a continuing crisis of my unemployment that I need to focus all my attention on instead, even if I could enjoy reading on election coverage as I usually do (which I just can’t enjoy this time.)

      • anon, I’m not in any way advocating a “head-in-sand” approach, but I get why some do it. And your second point is an important one – maybe presumptuous of me, but I don’t believe that watching RNC coverage is a wise or valuable use of most people’s time. These people (I’m talking here about the ones I know personally) have families, friends, jobs, hobbies, and personal goals – all better things to spend time on than watching people you don’t like saying exactly what you expect them to say.

  • Rave: Friday!
    Rant: I am so tired. I just want to be a slug all weekend. Do I have to go out on on this date tomorrow?
    Rant: One of my supervisor’s, who is just the absolute nicest woman ever, lost her husband yesterday in an accident while she and the family were on vacation abroad. I feel so horribly sad for her, and utterly out of ideas of how to even offer help/support.

    • If you’re not feeling it, please cancel the date. I’ve gone on a date with someone who was having a bad work week, and it was miserable….worst date I’ve ever had!

      • Good point – I’m not going to cancel, I think that after a good night’s sleep, some yoga and some coffee it’ll be fine. But yeah, I wouldn’t want to be a drag on anyone.

    • If you do cancel it, please cancel ASAP this morning and suggest rescheduling for a specific day or days next week.
      .
      Cancelling much later than that makes you look like a bailer/flaker and/or someone who’s willing to renege on plans if something better comes along.

    • That One Guy

      Whoa, that’s got to be earth shattering for your supervisor. Don’t know how close you are to her, but maybe be a shoulder to cry on and/or try to take some of the job burdens off her shoulder.

      • I’m pretty low on the totem pole for this supervisor, and I don’t even think she’s in the country yet. I just don’t even know where to start with offering condolences. 🙁

        • How about a simple “so sorry to hear of your loss”

        • I’m trying to figure out who this person is…. I’m sure there will be an office card of some sort, perhaps a collection for flowers or something of that nature. If you aren’t particularly close, it may be best to just do that? Often when tragedies like this strike, the best thing is the collective support, knowing the department can carry on and hold together (which that one definitely can!) without their day-to-day interaction while they deal with their new reality.

        • After my dad passed away, my family was really touched by the condolences we received from his and my stepmom’s co-workers. I think sending a card is nice. Don’t know if it would be weird to send one to her home, but you could ask another supervisor about this. Just a simple note of “Dear so-and-so, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know I will be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. Sincerely, LBP.” If she talked about him a lot or you met him, you could also add something like you always enjoyed hearing about him, or that you thought he was a really friendly man.
          __
          And you could also ask the other supervisors if there are any roles you could step into to help cover duties. As for how to behave at work, I appreciated people who would say that they were really sorry, but respected my cues that I didn’t want to talk endlessly at work about my father dying. If people dwelled on it too much, even though they were trying to be nice, it made it hard to refocus on work.

          • Thanks Ke and all – I’ll do a card, at the least, and just feel my way through this, I guess.

  • Rant: My roommate hurt his back a few weeks ago at the retail establishment he works at. This morning he was in excruciating pain and called work to let them know he couldn’t make it in and that he was going to the ER. The owner answered the phone, not that unusual since the owner is usually there. The call was on speaker so I heard what transpired but geez, was the owner cold! Yes, the owner was an attorney before opening this popular retail establishment but show a little compassion! Not one word of sympathy or encouragement was said. The owner asked if this had occurred at the owner’s establishment and was told yes and an accident report had been filled out. did . The owner was unaware of this and asked who had been the manager onsite that day. Before ending the call my roommate asked if he could speak to today’s manager to explain and the owner said the owner would and then hung up without saying goodbye.

    Rave: Reason 99999 above I’m glad I’m not in retail.

    Rant: My roommate asked if I would help him get a cab since he is bi-racial and sometimes has problems and since he was in pain, he didn’t want the hassle. Of course I instantly had two cabs pull over two lanes to pick me up. I told the winning cab driver to take him to MedStar Washington Hospital on Irving Street, and he asked for the address, which I knew but geez!

    • Not being in retail, you might not be aware of how often employees call in sick. And of the almost-comical excuses they offer. It’s like being a professor at the end of the semester: so many dead grandmas. And moms in hospitals, and sisters in crisis, and cars that won’t start, and on and on. If your roommate is anything but a model employee, I can see why the manager might have felt a sense of weariness at yet another sob story, especially one that involved “excruciating pain” “a few weeks” after the original incident. Not to mention the difficulty the manager was facing in replacing your roommate on short notice.
      Of course your roommate is the exception to all this, and is totally on the up and up. But it might help to know the other side, too, before you vilify the manager.

  • Rant: Just knowing my child could be born with Trump as his/her first president makes me so unbelievably upset. He’s terrifying, but I’m even more terrified of his followers and the deep-seated racism, xenophobia, and bigotry that thrives in this country.
    Rave: Traveling to visit family next week means pretty much completely disconnecting!
    Rave: Escaping the heat wave just in time. It’ll be mid 80s where we are going. Everyone stay cool and safe this weekend!!

  • Random: Could the ladies here recommend good walking shoes that still look “dressy” enough. I walk 30 minutes a day and I have knee issues, I need better shoes. Thanks

    • Dressy enough for work? Or dressy enough for some other purpose?

      • Dressy for work. I don’t want to have to change shoes if I am wearing a dress or something a bit more dressy.

        • Blithe

          Ecco and Munro might have shoes that would suit you. You might like some of the shoes by arche. Nordstrom’s will also probably have many good options.

    • It may depend on your office/what you’re looking for, but I really love my dansko & sanita shoes. I have a pair of strappy sandals with a slight heel that I LOVE and are super cute. I have them in red, but really should get other colors too since i love them so much.

    • I love my camper shoes and boots…super comfortable and I get complimented on them everytime I wear them. Pricey, but my boots have lasted almost 10 years!

    • Blithe

      Could you say a bit more about what you mean by “dressy”? In general, I find Frye, Born, and Naot to be extremely comfortable for everyday wear — which, for me, includes a lot of walking. My most comfortable shoes ever are probably my well-broken in Frye biker boots, which, for me, can pass as work-appropriate. Merrells are nice — but perhaps more casual than you had in mind, and I’ve heard good things about Clarks and Mephisto. Ecco and Munro also have many comfortable dressier options. Maybe a trip to one of those shoe stores near Dupont Circle would give you some ideas.

    • For a sandal – look at Ecco “Jab” sandal.

    • Just to clarify, my job doesnt have a dress code, but I love wearing dresses and skirts, so I want something that will look nice with a dress or a skirt. Thanks all!

      • Toms? Not sure how much of an arch you need, but I find them comfortable to walk in and they have lots of varieties (plain black, lighter colored lace pattern, etc.) to match with nicer outfits.

      • Zappos and possibly Amazon have some dressier burkenstocks (papadillo liine) that are life changing

    • I have sensitive feet but have had great success with Clarks. There are options that don’t look too “old lady’ like. And they are often running sales (sign up for their mailing list). I just bought the “orient sea” pair a few weeks ago and have worn them practically every day!

    • For me, there are no women’s shoes that fit that look good with skirts and dresses. One of the reasons I always wear pants now. But I have always had difficult feet to fit. The last comfortable shoes I could wear with a skirt were some dressy tie Eccos – but even those shoes fail me now. Go to those casual shoe stores on Connecticut north of Dupont – the name escapes me now, though I buy all my shoes there – the ecco store there is owned by them, too. The Danskos that store sells (that store sells some of their many styles) have become much dressier looking than the clog styles of previous years, and can be quite comfortable for walking if they fit your feet well – they are made on a few different soles/bases, which fit feet differently – so get their little paper catalogue and figure out which, if any of their groups of styles, are comfortable for you. You won’t find a better collection of comfortable dressy (though pricy) women’s shoes anywhere else around here.
      .
      But, you know, women’s shoes cause knee arthritis – so you are protesting your future knees if you change to really support shoes for walking in outside of work, however clunky it looks. Anda pair of running shoes will support you better, and be far cheaper than, any comfortable dressy shoes. They are pricy for a reason, because they are made with better support to make them comfortable for walking. Talking about pricy, I also used to be able to walk well in Ferragamos years ago – check out department stores for those.

    • Another vote for Clarks and Dansko. Cobb Hill makes some very comfortable and dressy-looking sandals with a small heel. Check out a Comfort One store or Amano in Takoma Park. They’ll have good selections.

    • I’ve had a lot of luck with Crocs A-Leigh wedge sandals. No blisters, decent support, and work with just about all my clothes. I regularly walk to and from work (2 miles each way) in them, plus running around my building to meetings all day.

  • Rant: Work. Tears at work. Trying to remove emotion from it but it’s my job security we’re talking about here.
    Rave: Puppy sitting/House sitting near the Pretzel Bakery makes for lovely starts to my morning.
    Rant: Crazy heat this weekend when I have a puppy and I want to do everything outdoors!
    Any tips on good dog activities in the heat? I want to try and hit up Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens early to see the blooms but otherwise, trying to figure out what I can do that’s fun with the pup but not going to cause heat stroke.

    • Stick to places with lots of trees for shade. It’s kinda far from where you’re staying, but the northern section of Rock Creek Park, by the MD border, has great shady trails and areas where dogs can wade into the creek. Take a little travel bowl so the pup can drink water, and take frequent breaks. Young, energetic dogs are usually not good at self regulating their activity in hot weather, and they’ll want to keep up with you even if they get too hot.

    • Melvin Hazen trail in RC park. It is totally shaded, along a tributary and always at least 5% cooler. It’s located at the end of the field by picnic area #1 – across from Pierce Mill. (For non-dog people, it is also Metro accessible – 1 block north of Cleveland Park Metro.)

    • Also – thanks to all who helped me with my rental listing! Here’s the updated listing: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/apa/5688536664.html – dropped the price, so if anyone knows of anyone looking for a 2BR/2bath furnished apt in Dupont, let me know!

      • Did you read my later-in-the-day advice posts a few days ago about how marketing it as a corporate rental will get you a higher, not lower, price? If not, do so.

      • I was thinking earlier today… given that you’re leaving your furnishings and bedding there, if it were me, I’d just have the ad say “No smokers” (rather than the current “Smoking outside only”). I wouldn’t want smoke particles from “third-hand smoke” (the smoke that stays on smokers’ clothes, etc. — you’ve probably smelled this in an elevator) on my furnishings or linens.

    • It might still be hot by then, but the aquatic gardens are also open late tonight (until 9pm).

  • HaileUnlikely

    Rant: The officer who shot the black caretaker of the autistic man in Miami earlier in the week stated that he intended to shoot the autistic man, because he feared that the autistic man was going to harm the caretaker. If we take that at face value [I have no comment on whether we should], I guess on one level it’s almost a relief that the black caretaker was not fired upon purposely, but also tragic and egregious that the officer intended to shoot the autistic guy in the interest of defending the caretaker who was pleading with officers the whole time to put their guns away, and egregious and frightening that the officer missed his target and shot the wrong person. The whole situation is just f*ed up in too many ways to count.
    .
    Although not as large of a problem statistically for straightforward reasons simply related to population size, there is a well-documented problem of police officers not being properly trained to interact with autistic citizens or others with various cognitive impairments, basically freaking out, and either deliberately using lethal force or killing citizens accidentally while attempting to restrain and control them. Since the death of a young man with Down’s Syndrome at a movie theater several years ago at the hands of officers who were attempting to restrain him, the Montgomery County MD police have invested a great deal of effort and resources in training their officers in how to interact with such citizens. That sort of initiative is badly needed nationwide.

    • That One Guy

      Hadn’t really thought of that, but you do have a point that more training, if nothing else, would better serve both police and the community at large.

    • Agreed, HaileUnlikely.
      .
      I’ve previously posted the link to this New Yorker article about the Albuquerque police force, but I’m going to post it again:
      http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/02/son-deceased
      .
      It begins with the heartbreaking story of parents who come home to find police surrounding their house and discover to their disbelief that the police have shot and killed their 27-year-old son, who had schizophrenia.
      .
      The article says: “In the five years before [the 27-year-old’s] death, the Albuquerque Police Department shot thirty-eight people, killing nineteen of them. More than half were mentally ill.”
      .
      Police really need to be better trained to deal with people with mental illness or cognitive impairments.

    • Also, I find it really troubling that the officer was (apparently) aiming for one man but shot a different one. IF police are going to use lethal force (which IMO ought to be a last resort), they shouldn’t be killing or injuring bystanders.

    • Blithe

      Wow! I hadn’t heard that update. Taken at face value, that officer should not be on active duty on any police force anywhere. His judgement and his marksmanship are no where near the standards that I would hope would be required of a police officer. I just read that a witness with binoculars tried to tell another officer that the autistic man was, indeed, holding a toy, and the officer refused to take the information/relay the information the to police officers closer to the scene.
      – I agree with you about the need for training. Any ideas on what we, as civilians, can do to advocate for this? Is it possible to do this on a national level so that federal funds pay for mandated training nationwide?

      • I heard about a city (was it Philadelphia?) where awards were given to cops who resisted using force. I thought it was a great idea to reward those who choose NOT to shoot (at least as a first resort).

    • Supposedly shot the wrong man 3 times, turned him over and handcuffed him with three sets of handcuffs and left him there bleeding out for 20 min+ but he was actually intending to shoot another peacefully sitting autistic guy that posed no threat?

      Is this supposed to be acceptable? Why is he shooting at anyone? Why hasn’t he been arrested?

      • And in regards to training? Do we know need to train people to be human beings with souls and compassion?

        The training and communication thing is the biggest cop out being sold. Be a human, be caring, be compassionate and serve and protect the people instead of shooting at any and everything because you face impunity.

        No other cops have come to this innocent mans defense yet they so claim to want to establish better relationships with the community.

        • HaileUnlikely

          I hadn’t met a single person with autism until I met one. I have never met somebody who suffers from Tourettes or Schizophrenia. If somebody is going to be given given a firearm and charged with enforcing the law, I would argue that it is necessary to train them to interact with types of people who they may have never met before or possibly even be conceptually unfamiliar with the existence of. When an officer encounters a 300-pound nonverbal adult with a IQ of something like 65 for the very first time in his life in the context of an unstable situation, the mechanism by which demanding officers “be human” and “show compassion” will imbue them with the knowledge of how to handle the situation does not exist.
          .
          There were likely lots of other issues at play here besides insufficient training to deal with persons with disabilities (he didn’t even hit the guy he was aiming at for goodness sake!), but to argue that calls for training are tantamount to a cop out is delusional. Of course training is not by itself sufficient, but it is absolutely necessary.

          • +1. There needs to be more training in dealing with different kinds of people, in de-escalating situations, etc.
            .
            And there also needs to be stringent psychological screening in the first place.

          • I guess I used the word cop out because I can’t understand why a simple “We made a mistake” and subsequent apology was not issued. I don’t like the attempts to rationalize their way out of this.

            Yes, individuals need to be educated on how to deal with those that suffer from mental illness but it doesnt seem like they are being accountable for their actions but rather defending them.

          • And that still doesnt explain handcuffing the “wrong” person and letting him bleed out in the streets for 20 min.

          • HaileUnlikely

            I agree with your last two posts stacksp. Lots of things about this situation are totally f*cked up.

          • Agree with both you Haile and stacks – training is needed for dealing with differently abled people for ALL cops.
            .
            But I don’t think you can train in compassion into people who lack that to begin with – they should not be police officers, period – there’s just too much opportunity for abuse generally, before you even get to the disabled..
            .
            And don’t believe that cop – if you shot someone by accident, why then handcuff them and not offer aid?

        • Blithe

          And today, we have the video from Austin of the police officer violently throwing a black female teacher to the ground during a routine traffic stop. In the face of this violence, one of the officers involved actually opined on the “violent tendencies” of black people. At least there’s a video.

        • Agreed on stacksp’s last two posts too. More training is needed, but that doesn’t mean the police shouldn’t apologize for stuff that’s happened as a result of (apparently) insufficient training.

      • Ditto this. It doesn’t add up.

        And I’m also concerned that police clearly don’t know how to handle people with mental illness, or de-escalate such situations.

        • OR people with limited English proficiency; see news re elderly gentleman from India who was visiting his son in Alabama and ended up paralyzed when accosted by cops/thrown to the ground while walking in his son’s neighborhood.

          • I remember that story! The grandfather (from India) was taking a walk in his son’s neighborhood and was viciously attacked by the cops. Unbelievable!

          • And (sadly, no surprise), the cops were aquitted of using excessive force

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: I found a cheap flight to New Orleans for September, so I’m going to go visit my parents.
    Rave: Today is my wedding anniversary!

  • Rant – I was carrying a big box to the UPS store yesterday and didn’t see that there were some bricks missing in the street. I feel hard on the side of my body where I’ve had a couple surgeries. I hurt badly yesterday, I hurt worse today. I think I’m sore and not damaged. but still worried about walking on my vacation next week.

    Rave – so many nice people stopped to help me! I couldn’t stand on my own and these two big guys pulled me up. One found my wallet and phone that had fallen out of my pocket. Another woman had gotten my box and was holding it until I was more steady on my feet. There are good people in this world.

    • topscallop

      Oh my gosh I’m so sorry, I winced just reading the description of your fall. I’m glad the good Samaritans were out to help you back up! Feel better!

      • Agreed. I’m sorry to hear about your injury, but I find it heartening that multiple (!) people helped you.

    • Sorry this happened to you! Good reason to use a luggage cart thing in the future – once you are at the point (as I am, too) where simple falls can injure you worse than they did before, for whatever reason, it pays to change how you go about transporting large, unweildy or heavy objects.

  • Rave: I’m getting a foster puppy this weekend!
    Rant: Everything about the RNC
    Rave: That convention is over
    Rave: My baseball team is looking good again
    Rant: They got my hopes up like this last year and then totally blew it
    Rave: Friday

    • Yay on the foster puppy! Make sure to submit pics to Afternoon Animal Fix!

    • Yay for fostering!! I adopted my pup through a foster home, and her foster mom was just the best. Some dogs just cannot handle the shelter environment..

  • Rant: Three hours of marriage prep course last night and I have decided that I don’t like ‘feelings’. This stresses me out!! Apparently I’m more closed off than I realized.
    Rant: Work. Nothing to do except a meeting that was planned during my usual lunch hour.
    Rant: Just got word that my FAVORITE coworker is leaving exactly two weeks from today. It’s a great opportunity for him but I’m going to be lost and miserable without him.
    Rave:…………coffee?

    • To your first rant: well, at least you’re finding this out before all knots are tied! Hope you’re able to find ways to deal with those feelings/relate them to your fiancee. Good luck!

    • Not trying to be obnoxious, truly, but have you considered the effect of this on trying to communicate in a marriage? Maybe it is an early warning sign to do some serious therapy (alone or together) to see if you can learn to communicate better before getting married. Because divorce seems to be truly no fun, especially where there are kids involved.

      • I think that’s part of what the marriage prep course is supposed to do — make couples aware of areas of discord or potential discord, so that they can resolve them _before_ getting married.

        • +1 – that is exactly the whole point of pre-Cana and other pre-marital counseling type things. It is also generally done by councilors or at least people with pretty intense training in counseling.

          • But does anybody ever put off their marriage to work on this stuff first? I think most see it as just a hoop to jump through – for the church if they require it to get married in the church, or maybe to please a partner or parent otherwise.

          • Anon, that’s a good question. It sounds like the process is something that couples ideally should go through before a wedding is even scheduled, deposits booked, etc.
            .
            I gather from reading Carolyn Hax that far too many weddings go ahead because people think, “Well, it’s too late to call it off now.”

          • Sure they do, anon. A lot of churches require this stuff far in advance (my previous parish would not book weddings less than a year out), and most if not all of the priests I knew took the marriage prep very, very seriously, especially in the Archdiocese of Washington.
            Also, having said all that, I have known quite a few couples who married with zero issues and they still ended up in divorce court, where as I know couples whose marriage I thought would never work who are still going strong. Sometimes you just never know.

    • I can also see being stressed by *having* to talk about feelings for three hours. That can be intense, and I’d probably want to go home and NOT talk about feelings for awhile.
      Which doesn’t mean there is discord or a communication problem

  • Did Eggs & dogs ever get in their Airbnb?

  • Rave: Went to Pineapple & Pearl last night. It was SOOOOOO amazing and Aaron Silverman served us!!!!
    Rant: Reorg at work is disaster and there is NO communication happening. Ugh.
    Rave: It’s Friday

  • Rant: Migraine. Again. So sick of this. Going to make another appointment with the neurologist at some point. It’s making my tummy feel icky today too 🙁

    • Friend takes pills for his migraine. Forgot if they’re from CO or OR. Or maybe even D.C.

      • Oh I’ve tried multiple kinds of migraine medicines that you take at onset, and I’m on a preventative medication. Still no luck. They used to be way less frequent so I’m not sure why I’ve been having this problem the past several months. Blehhh.

        • Are you on propranolol for prevention? That worked for me. Also ask about Bultalbital for when you do get one.

          • I have not tried that yet, but I will ask when I go back. I’m on an SSRI for prevention. It’s definitely helped the severity, but not the frequency at all.

        • NW_DC is suggesting a more herbal approach, which I honestly agree with. Works amazing for my migraines.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: I have no motivation to work.
    Rant: Need to go to the DMV to get a new license. Not looking forward to it.
    Rave: Friday.

  • Rant: last night, my new housemate drunk ate my homemade olive-oil & cardamom granola! Like a whole large jar of it! He apologized and sent me money to repay me, but while its not *hard* to make by any means its still ~1.5hours to make (with measuring, cooking/stirring). Boy is a HOT MESS. I hope it didnt make him sick, and I guess I should be somewhat flattered he enjoyed it?
    Rave: Finally a night off from my second job! Going out with my girlfriends for a barre3 class and dinner and ???
    Rant: speaking of hotmesses…. its HOT out!
    Rave: a friend in a new apartment with a POOL, and an invitation!
    .
    *keeping it light because there is too much to rant about on a larger level (looking to you, Current election cycle)

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Lucy is all mopey dopey again and not eating—she hasn’t left the cool tiled hallway floor today. I’m going to buy her some fancy new dog food and see if that perks her up.
    Rant: Our pointless self-evaluations at work are due next week.
    Rave: As much as possible I try to recycle last year’s evaluations since I’m not sure anyone really reads them.
    Rave: Going to IHOP for lunch. Don’t judge!

  • I just changed the newspaper under the litter box and it gives me no end of joy to have Trump’s face under there! Need another antidote for Trump? Kittens! Tomorrow is “clear the shelters” day, with greatly reduced adoption fees! Take a look at my cuties! http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/pet/5695313598.html

  • 22 days for those who are counting!

  • Rave-ish: Done with crazy work stuff tomorrow night! It hasn’t been as bad as I’d feared – hurray for boundaries!
    Rave: Two interviews next week. Onward!
    Rave: Saw some great friends for coffee this morning. So nice to talk to people in person besides co-workers!
    Rave: Boyfriend’s back in town this weekend!
    Revel: Going after what I want, even if I don’t get it, is awesome. It’s better to have the universe tell me ‘no’ than me telling myself ‘no’.

    • Blithe

      Love your Revel! Awesome! And good luck to you!

    • Love that revel too. Just went to Wolf Trap for the first time last night. The guest speaker on “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me” was the head of NASA. Decades ago an astronaut asked him why he wasn’t applying for an astronaut position himself and he replied that, “They’d never take a guy like me.” Astronaut man told him that’s not true and he should apply. Universe wanted him to be an astronaut, and, eventually, the head of NASA!

      Anyway, I need to take your advice more, not to tell myself ‘no’ too often.

  • Rave: lots of dates recently
    Rant: No boyfriend
    Rave: BFF says I can maybe freeze my eggs (banks give loans for that, she says)
    Rant: Roomie met a great guy in person! Maybe I should try that strategy instead of depending fully on the dating apps. Not sure how to go about that and most guys at the bars are in their 20s (where’s the 30s guys???). I need more single girlfriends to go out with. The coupled ones aren’t good for late weekend evenings of dancing.

    • I feel you on all of this! though I will say that I think the cost-benefit analysis on freezing one’s eggs does not inspire confidence in that still not so great technology…

      • Oh, I didn’t do a cost-benefit yet….It was just my ovaries talking. And I still have those student loans. And what if I NEVER meet the right guy? All those wasted frozen eggs!

        • Sperm donor?

          • He won’t help raise the kid though…or pay for a house…Yeah, looking for the whole deal here (though the sperm donor really helped my lesbian friends out!)

          • Ha! Take it from me, neither did my kids’ dad!
            Seriously though, I know you want a partner, but it’s ok to think about life in terms of independence too. If you want to be a mom to the point of egg freezing, that is. If you were speaking tongue in cheek, then take the sperm donor comment as such too.

        • I wonder if there’s any chance that if you “donated” eggs, you could get some eggs frozen on the side for lower/no cost?
          .
          I wish now that I’d done egg “donation” in college. I probably could’ve gotten good money for it, and it would have been a way to propagate my genetic material without having to be pregnant or raise a kid. I was always ambivalent (at best) about the idea of having kids.

        • NW_DC, I meant to add _if_ you’re in the demographic that’s desired for egg donation — I don’t know if they rule you out once you’re (say) thirty.
          .
          Actually, the fact that your BFF is suggesting egg-freezing probably means you’re not in the egg-donating demographic. 🙁

    • oh man, this is also my rant. The dating apps are just not doing it for me. I meet perfectly nice guys who I have a few things in common with but it never goes anywhere and I just feel like I’m wasting my time and theirs. I so very much want to meet someone organically, I’d love to know how your roomie did it. I’m past the age of hanging out in bars and hoping to meet a quality / non-skeezy guy….I’ll be your single gf and go dancing with you!

      • Same here!

        • Roomie met him volunteering. It’s an ongoing volunteering thing though (hard for me to commit to things like that)

          Ok, ladies – we may have to meet up and go dancing!

          • YES! (But fair warning, I dance like Elaine on that classic Seinfeld episode, drunk or sober!)

          • PoPville (or at least RRRR) is full of single ladies — keep us posted if you do plan a dance night!

  • Rant: I’ve received an e-mail from the Office of Unified Communications’ Public Relations e-mail account encouraging all “311 superusers” (of which I’m one, unfortunately) to fill out a survey.
    .
    This e-mail didn’t use bcc, so all ~550 names and e-mail addresses were visible. Communications FAIL.

    • :-0

      My face on reading that. I’ve seen that a lot with DC gov, and it surprises me every time. This is not actually this hard.

      • I know! Such a rookie mistake. I thought people had figured out how to use bcc by the early 2000s (if not earlier).

        • Will my 311 call from weeks ago ever be addressed? I reported a crosswalk where the ‘it’s ok to cross now’ light never turns on (always the red hand). I have little faith so I’ve stopped reporting things. No superuser here.

          • If you have the confirmation number for your 311 request, try e-mailing your councilmember and the MOCR (Mayor’s Office of Community Relations) rep for your ward and including it in the e-mail.
            .
            I know DDOT supposedly takes forever to make changes like adding stop signs, etc., but this sounds like an equipment malfunction that ought to be easy to fix.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Office of Unintentional Communications?

    • Blithe

      That’s a horrible breach of privacy, and I would be furious if that happened to me. On the other hand, my second thought was: “SuperUsers MeetUp”? 500+ concerned citizens who are willing to make an effort to mobilize city resources could be a very informative focus group. I’m now very curious about that survey….

      • Hahaha! I like that idea, Blithe — getting 500+ squeaky wheels together. 🙂

      • HaileUnlikely

        Several months ago the full names, addresses, and dates of birth of four juveniles were included in an MPD-4D listserv update about some robbery suspects who were arrested. However one generally feels about how crime by juveniles is handled in DC, that was obviously an egregious breach of protocol.

    • Hahaha — they’ve now attempted to “recall” the e-mail.
      .
      I don’t know if it’ll work even for people with dc.gov e-mail addresses, let alone for external addresses.

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