Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user nevermindtheend

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

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164 Comment

  • Rave: The good people of Columbia Heights observed my no parking signs and even gave my movers an extra car length. Thank you, thank you, thank you, neighbors! It really made my move go much more smoothly!

  • Andie302

    Rant: Tension in my neck, jaw, and upper back
    Rave: The chiropractor earlier this week seemed to help some
    Rant: But not completely
    Rave: It’s my Friday

    • Andie302

      Forgotten rant: I left my black dress shoes at home. Is it worse to wear black flip flops or brown dress flats (with an outfit that clearly does not have anything that matches them)? I cannot hole up in my cubicle all day because I didn’t bring lunch. Doh

      • I’d wear the brown dress flats even if they don’t match.

        • Andie302

          That’s what I am thinking – at least a CHANCE someone won’t notice, but the flip flops will stick out

          • I Dont Get It

            One thing I enjoy about working from home is that I’m not subjected to the summer flip-flop outbreak in the office–those things are dangerous! Do you know how many people die each summer due to wearing flip-flops? I don’t know either but I’m sure it is a LOT!

          • It happened to me, it could happen to you. Monday I was wearing flip flop-esque sandals (open back, thong between the toes, but thick strap across the top, and leath, not plastic) when I tripped up concrete steps, splitting my big toe nail in the process, and scraping my shin. Death, was of course, imminent. PSA folks, don’t be a statistic!

          • Actually, IDGI and Anonamom, one of my best friends in college was wearing flip-flops, tripped up a concrete step and literally broke her toe off at a 90 degree angle. She said without insurance it would have been $30,000 to repair. Be careful out there, folks, seriously.

          • I Dont Get It

            I once saw a woman wearing flip-flops violently shaking a vending machine to dislodge some stuck chips. I didn’t stick around but you know that could not have ended well!

          • You’ll pry my flipflops from my cold dead feet.

          • Blithe

            Another vote for the brown dress flats. But maybe enjoy wearing the flip flops while you’re at your desk — ’cause it’s summer!

          • I Dont Get It

            Yikes, sorry Anonamom!

          • I once saw a women on a NYC subway platform trip over something, and her flip flop slipped off and fell on the tracks. She stood there on one foot looking horrified. Ever since then I make sure the shoes I wear commuting are ones that stay firmly on my feet.

          • flip flops are to footwear as yoga pants are to pants.

    • Depends on your industry, if you’re government, go with the brown flats.

    • I’ve had similar tension the last week or two, and soreness through my jaw and up to my ear. It makes no sense, but I’m blaming it on the excessive AC I’m subjected to at the office.

  • Rant/Rave: Work is so so so so quiet today. But I don’t want to jinx it.
    .
    Rant: The waves of enthusiasm I get about dating for a few days at a time and then my compute lack of enthusiasm when nothing comes of brief conversations.
    .
    Rant/Rave: No plans this weekend, but it’s going to be hot hot hot so maybe I will just stay indoors.

    • Additional rant: So exhausted today for some reason (on top of a headache all day yesterday), thinking of just going home.

  • Rant: Getting (sexually?) harassed while leaving Metro station. Older (50-60 yrs) guy stands behind me on the escalator – close behind, so I turn around. He proceeds to ask me “what kind of white meat do you have?” I ask “I beg your pardon?” and he repeats himself. Ugh! It doesn’t even make sense, but ew. Creep! So I stormed off up the escalator and figure that’s what I get for being lazy and standing still.
    Rave: Booked a trail ride at Rock Creek Horse Center for me and a cousin! Then maybe I can decide if riding lessons would be worthwhile.
    Rant: My work event this Saturday ended up having to be canceled due to low projected turnout. I mean, glad I have my Saturday to myself and all (though I’ll still be doing work this weekend!), but I worked hard to try to pull this event together and it sucks that it didn’t pan out. Oh well, always another chance.
    Rave: FaceTime with my mom. She always knows how to make me laugh and feel better.
    Rant: Since my work event plans were cancelled, I agreed to go out with a Coffee-Meets-Bagel guy I’ve seen a few times. But I don’t want to go anywhere Saturday, with the kind of heat we’re supposed to have. Any ideas for something LITERALLY cool to do this weekend?

    • ewww on your first rant. Street harassment is gross, its even worse when they don’t even make sense.

      • sad world where a woman’s chances of getting harassed increase substantially when she isn’t moving fast – that does always seem the best protection, though – blazing through the world like silver streak.

        • Weirdly this seems true, at least for me. I am a verrrry fast walker, and I usually speed through life with my Resting B*tch Face on, moving moving moving, and I have only rarely been harassed – or at least, I only rarely moved slowly enough to hear it if things were being said. Please don’t think I’m actually blaming myself, I know it’s the creep’s fault and his alone, but still, it does reinforce my habit of moving fast.

        • It’s not just women getting harassed– a slow walk increases both male and female chances of being victimized in any way.

          From the a recent BBC article on walk studies:
          “Some of the earliest findings showed that men and women with a shorter stride, smaller arm swing and slower walk tend to be seen as more vulnerable (note the similarity to the older walking style found in the personality research). A rather disturbing Japanese study, published in 2006, added to this by asking men to say how likely it was that they would chat up or inappropriately touch different female students who were depicted in point-light displays. Based purely on the women’s gait, the men tended to say that they would be more likely to make uninvited advances towards the women with more vulnerable personality traits, such as being more introverted and emotionally unstable.
          .
          More worrying still, research has shown that imprisoned inmates with higher psychopathy scores are particularly accurate at detecting which people have previously been attacked in the past, simply from watching video clips of them walking down a hall. It seems that some of the inmates were fully aware of this ability: the higher scorers in psychopathy specifically stated that they paid attention to the people’s gait when making their judgements. This tallies with anecdotal evidence. For example, serial killer Ted Bundy reportedly said that he could “tell a victim from the way that she walked down the street”.”

    • dcgator

      NO, that’s what you get for being a woman in a society where male privilege is still alive and well. Sorry you had that happen to you (along with likely hundreds of other episodes).

    • That One Guy

      What about going to an indoor ice skating rink.

      • hmmm….I’ll have to look into that, do you know of any that aren’t too far-flung?

        • Expert on ice rinks here: Ballston Common Mall is probably your best bet, since it’s metro accessible. The others aren’t so much: one in Rockville not near a metro, one in Wheaton not near a metro, one by Montgomery Mall, Fort Dupont Ice Arena (a 10 minute bus ride from the Benning Rd. or Minnesota Ave station)

      • One of my favorite date spots is the Library of Congress. That was my second date with my boyfriend 🙂

    • The National Building Museum has that new iceberg display up! That could be fun!

    • I Dont Get It

      Ugh! Gross, sorry LBP!

    • I’m so sorry to hear about your harassment. What an icky feeling.

      Can you go catch a movie? Splash park? The Iceberg exhibit?

  • I’m sitting here stunned after reading about Miami police shooting a behavioral therapist (who is of course black, because that’s who gets shot by police) as he was trying to persuade his autistic patient to return to the assisted living home. He was on the ground with his hands in the air. And they shot him anyway. Father of five. Professional caregiver. On the fukcing ground with his hands in the air trying to ask the police to let him help his non-verbal autistic patient who had wandered into traffic.
    Tell me again how black people need to alter their behavior to avoid getting shot by cops.

    • I saw that when I woke up and thought it was an onion article – holy shit that was real?! uggggghhhhh!

    • I saw this this morning and it literally made me so angry. I can’t even express in words.

    • Charles Kinsey is the name of the man for anyone wanting to read about it. So sad

    • A major element of this crime (because it was totally a crime) seems to be the 911 caller who reported a man in the street with a gun threatening suicide. There was of course no gun, no suicidal behavior. Just a developmentally disabled person and his caretaker. This caller should be tracked down and made to answer for the hysteria she/he created by calling in a false report, which resulted in a man being shot.
      It makes me so mad when commenters here suggest claiming “I think I saw a gun” when calling in noise complaints. This is what happens when you stoke the fear.

      • Agree. People need to stop calling the police on people who are not actually committing a crime. I can understand someone calling police for a person darting in and out of traffic (I’ve done so for someone who was drunk and in the street once) but there’s a difference between “there is someone holding up traffic and they’re going to get hurt” and “there is someone in the road with a gun threatening suicide.”

      • That One Guy

        Yes. This is not the first time that a caller incited an overly escalated response from police. I recall there was a police shooting in Ohio (I think) where a teen with the BB gun was shot as soon as police jumped out of their car. The system is simply broken.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Let’s be fair. The officer acted improperly there, but the citizen who called the police saw a person with a bb gun that even a trained expert could not distinguish from a bb gun from a safe distance. It is patently unfair to criticize a citizen who sees a person brandishing a gun that after the fact proves to be a realistic bb gun. A normal citizen couldn’t tell the difference even if they had it in their freaking hand..
          .
          The officer who jumped out of the car and immediately shot and killed Tamir Rice was the one who I reference below as having previously been fired from another law enforcement agency and whose supervisor reported was clearly unfit to be a police officer.

          • Ohio is an open carry state, so why is the mere presence of a gun (which on its face is perfectly legal) reason to call the police? Whether the gym was real or not seems irrelevant.

          • HaileUnlikely

            The video released at the time showed him with the gun out and pointing it (not at anybody in particular, but holding it in his hand and pointing it, not just walking around with it in his pocket or holster.) That is not a normal innocuous behavior even in an open-carry state. That is sufficiently unusual and frightening that I personally can’t find any fault with a citizen for calling it in. (I find all sorts of fault with the officer for jumping out and immediately opening fire, and all sorts of fault with the department for firing this guy who was known to be a cards aces short of a full deck, but I can’t blame an ordinary citizen for calling it in here.)

          • We can agree to disagree because the caller told dispatch at least twice that he thought the gun was fake. If he thought that, why did he call the police?
            In the most recent, the guy is holding a thin white object. No way in Hell someone could mistake that for a gun.

          • Except that it seems to be normal behavior for a kid playing, which is what Tamir was.

          • That One Guy

            Fair point. But wasn’t there another incident in Ohio where someone at a Walmart was also walking around the store with a BB gun and they were also killed?

          • HaileUnlikely

            The kid in question was physically larger than me, and I am an adult man. Somebody watching from a safe distance couldn’t know that he was a physically large little kid. My point is absolutely not to blame the victim, who was a 12-year-old who was big for his age and playing with what to him was a toy, but I honestly do not find anything blameworthy in what the caller did either. The temptation to force every case into some cookie cutter mold (“Alarmist racist citizen calls 911 for no reason!”), but sometimes the mold just doesn’t fit.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Final comment from me: Let’s focus. The officer who leapt from his vehicle and immediately opened fire on the large 12-year-old with the toy gun had no business being a police officer. His former supervisor even said so. Citizens should be able to call 911 when they in their judgment (their own, not yours) think it’s the right thing to do, and not worry about a racist or mentally incompetent man with police powers jumping out of his car and killing the person who they’re supposed to be helping. That there exists any reason to question whether the caller contributed to the death of the kid is a sad, f*cked up state of affairs that stems from a problem that is greater than the problem of the caller making the call by a multiple of like 10 million.

          • Its not the caller I find liable, its the cop. They can look to see what’s actually going on when they get to a scene before shooting – this one didn’t. Also, they should know that what’s happening on the scene is not necessarily what was called in, in general.

          • Blithe

            IIRC, the caller told the dispatcher that he thought the gun was fake, and that the person with the gun appeared to be a juvenile. I don’t fault the caller for making the call — and I would agree that the situation he observed and reported is one that many reasonable people would agree would warrant assessment. I do fault the dispatcher for not relaying critical details to the police, but the primary onus is on the police officers to assess the situation before — or even as — they intervene. There are multiple points in this situation where a tragedy could have been averted — if averting tragedy had been seen by these officers as a priority.

          • Blithe

            That One Guy: Yes, a man was murdered in an Ohio Walmart — for picking up a bb gun THAT WAS SOLD BY WALMART. He was not pointing the gun at or threatening anyone — he was carrying a potential purchase. Shopping while Black. :-/

      • HaileUnlikely

        It is possible that the caller acted in bad faith and filed a false report on purpose, but it is also possible that the person was simply mistaken. If the person deliberately filed a false report, of course they should be prosecuted, but we don’t know that that’s what happened. Hell, it is possible that the call-taker or the dispatcher introduced the error – we know that our beloved OUC does a less than stellar job of accurately relaying key information to officers.
        .
        Despite the racial differences, on the surface this reminds me of the shooting of John Geer, the Fairfax resident who was standing in his front door talking with police with his hands up for in excess of a half hour before one officer fatally shot him in the chest. There was clearly no reason to shoot. As soon as he fired, another officer yelled “Who the F* shot?!” and and the officer who did replied “I did, I’m sorry.”
        .
        This seems to have been a similarly controlled situation, not one in which the officers had any plausible reason to fear for their own safety, and one shot for no discernible reason. When Mr. Kinsey, the victim, asked the officer why he shot, his reply, as reported by Mr. Kinsey himself was “I don’t know.” I wouldn’t be surprised if we learn here that this officer was clearly unfit for duty, either generally (like the one who killed Tamir Rice, who had been fired from other agencies before and whose previous supervisor was on record as saying had a temperament not compatible with being a police officer, or like the officer who killed John Geer, who arguably was competent generally but should not have been on duty at the time for personal reasons that rendered his judgment and temperament incompatible with the responsibilities of an officer.

      • But when the officer arrived, dude laid down on his back with his hands up. He could have had a bazooka. He was zero threat at t

        • ..at that point. There was no reason to shoot at all to the point that when they asked why he shot, he answered “I don’t know”.

          He shot because he could and because everyone has been getting away with it.

    • Ridiculous. Thank goodness Mr. Kinsey wasn’t killed. Why don’t the police render basic first aid to people they shoot? (I’m pretty sure that, even in wartime, military medics offer medical treatment to enemy combatants.) I’ve been wondering whether some of these people would have survived if the police had given first aid. Mr. Kinsey mentions that he was lying on the ground bleeding for 20 mins before EMTs arrived.

      • Because their life doesnt matter

      • I thought they were legally required to render aid?
        And the answer is yes. The Minnesota guy shot in the car was not only not offered aid, but they didn’t take him to the closest hospital either.

        • Insult to injury, not only did they not offer first aid, but turned him on his stomach and handcuffed him. Yeah, he was really a threat after he’d already been shot with his hands in the air, better take more precautions now…

  • Rant: Started the morning with a hurricane of chaos. Part of it is my fault, part was a massive miscommunication. Hopefully the rest of the day will be chill.

    Rave: Brew at the Zoo tonight!!! I’ve got my Pombe app downloaded and ready, and cute sneakers for lots of walking. Just have to stay hydrated. Last year I didn’t have to be anywhere the next day, this year I have to be at work at 9am. Must remember to stay responsible!

    • have fun! I’ve always wanted to go to Brew at the Zoo, but timing-wise, I’ve never been able to get it to work out! (I have a meeting tonight until 8:30-9ish, boo!)

    • I’ll be going to Brew at the Zoo tonight also! I got my wishlist all ready on the Pombe app too. I get to sleep in tomorrow, took the day off work for other reasons thankfully 🙂

      • Andie302

        I’m impressed with you both about already knowing the Brews you want to try. I will be there and have off tomorrow, but need to meet up with my parents at 10am, and may end up doing some real estate work before that. I also haven’t packed yet for the weekend. This should end well….

      • I would’ve taken a personal day, but between vacation and sick days I’ve been out a lot this month already. Just will have to be prepared for a hangover tomorrow.

  • Bear

    Rave: good trip to see the family, got a boatload of hand me down baby gear from my sister, and got a much-needed few days to disconnect from work.
    Rant: what is normally a long drive took 2 hours longer than usual due to hauling a trailer and having the bladder of a pregnant lady.
    Rave: all of our trees survived the storm–I was a little worried we’d come back to find that one or two of the old ones in our yard had fallen.
    Rave: garden is finally producing (I was late getting everything in the ground).
    Rant: painter postponed his start date. Getting really irritated about this…

  • Rave: Found a loft space I love in a neighborhood I love and offer was accepted.
    Rant: Trying to get a mortgage. Even with two high incomes, two exceptional credit scores, and a solid down payment. Thanks housing crisis.

    • You’re having trouble getting a mortgage, or just the process of getting one is hard? I didn’t think it was hard to get the mortgage, but the process of finalizing everything was a pain.

    • Yes, can’t imagine you are having trouble getting a mortgage if your incomes, scores and downpayment are as you suggest. I’m always amazed when people b*itch about this. I was nothing but grateful when I was in your position with income and scores and getting my mortgage. But then, I don’t find paperwork challenging. Try feeling grateful – it’ll make the process go much smoother and a happier camper. Or maybe this is a like a humble brag rant.

      • “I’m always amazed when people b*itch about this. I was nothing but grateful when I was in your position with income and scores and getting my mortgage.”
        .
        Ha, yeah, at least you have high incomes and enough for a “solid” down payment. I grew up being told not to compare, because I know it’s not worth it, but at least you HAVE those things. I literally don’t think I will ever be able to buy a condo/house in this area unless I marry someone who is inherently wealthy.

        • Dc has great first time buyer programs. Keep moving up the income ladder, and I’m sure it can happen if you plan ahead and are flexible.

        • You know what? I never thought so, either. (Granted, I live in Arlington) But, I was pre-approved for a mortgage, and I found my condo on a short sale and I qualified for an FHA mortgage, which yes, requires PMI for a little bit (no way could I afford 20% and I don’t have the luxury of having any family to give me money like some of my friends have), but I’m going to be refinancing soon and that’ll go away! I was pretty lucky, but, if I can do it, I feel like anyone could do it. You totally can do it!!

      • HaileUnlikely

        Aside from the paperwork, there are lots of things that can and sometimes do go wrong that are completely outside of a buyer’s control. I almost lost out because my appraisal came back *3 weeks late* because this was in the middle of record-low-rate refi-mania and the appraiser that my lender hired had such a long backlog due to refis that I blew my financing contingency and had to beg for mercy and an extension from the seller, which the granted, and for which I was very grateful.

        • Yeah, ours was difficult because my wife is not an American citizen. That was an even bigger problem during the refi.

        • Also, banks know they can stick it to you once you’ve plunked a massive chunk in escrow. I’ve heard the horror stories of people showing up to their closings and being offered completely different rates than what they were promised when it was time to sign. I honestly thought those were urban legends. Now I’m not so sure.

      • OP Here- All paperwork was done. We were pre-approved, our money in escrow. Bank is backpedaling because we are 1099s and don’t have W2s. It’s not a humble brag, it’s the acknowledgement that if people like us are getting screwed, imagine how bad it must be for others.

    • HaileUnlikely

      I learned that I was a victim of identity theft while under contract to buy my house. Good times.

    • Whereabouts is the loft space? This is in DC?

    • Just wondering: what problems have you had getting a mortgage? I have one very stable income (average amount by DC standards), credit score around 800, and putting 20% down. Lot of forms and info to provide, but otherwise relatively smooth process (knock on wood).

    • Is it a jumbo loan? My partner and I had a hell of a time getting our mortgage (and later refinancing) because it was a jumbo loan. Our high incomes, 20% down, and perfect credit scores hardly seemed to matter.

      • Also, lenders like to see recurring debt, so if neither of you has student loans or car payments or other mortgages it’s weirdly problematic.
        We ended up having to get an ARM from a small local bank. A year later we had enough payment history to refinance into a conventional loan. Good luck!

        • Yep, it’s a jumbo loan and we have no debt other than another mortgage which is more than covered by renters. We thought having no car loans, credit card debts or student loan debts would work in our favor…you could be right though. We are also both 1099s and they cannot wrap their heads around the absence of a W2….as if a W2 is guarantee of anything. You could quit/be fired tomorrow. The bank basically gave us a pre-approval and is now walking it back and trying to get us to accept a much higher interest rate..after we’ve already locked ourselves up in escrow.

          • The convoluted system they use to determine your creditworthiness has very little to do with whether you’re likely to pay your mortgage or not. It helps to keep reminding yourself of that. 🙂

  • Revel: I just woke up about 15 minutes ago. I’m such a crappy sleeper that I often wake up several times throughout the night before giving up around 5/6 a.m. I was up for about an hour+ around 3-something and managed to fall back asleep. It feels pretty good!
    Revel: My muddler came in the mail from amazon so I had a great night hanging out in the backyard, drinking mojitos with the roommates
    Rant: Getting pretty bored without really interacting with humans during the day so I pretty much jump all over my roommates when they get home. I should look for meetup groups for teachers or some odd jobs or short-term volunteering.

  • Rant: I booked with Airbnb for the first time ever for this weekend for an out-of-town baby shower so we could bring our dogs and stay somewhere more fun than a hotel 30 mins from anywhere interesting. Booked it last month. Never heard anything from the host other than the acceptance of the booking. I sent a message through the website two days ago asking when we should plan to arrive that would work best for him, we can arrive anywhere between 3 and 7pm. Nothing. So I pulled the Airbnb email from his profile this morning and emailed him, asking the same question. Still nothing. At what point do I start texting the number provided? I don’t want to start this off on a bad note but seriously, not hearing anything at all when his reviews all rave about how he reached out via email and phone days in advance is concerning.

    • Andie302

      Text the number! Just be polite, but it’s possible the host doesn’t monitor email that well and you need to know!

      • I just don’t want to be nagging and annoy him before we even meet. But our booking starts TOMORROW, I’m starting to worry we may show up and have nowhere to stay with two dogs. I figure I’ll text this evening if I still haven’t heard anything, it’s been about 3 hours since I emailed.

        • Andie302

          Yeah there’s no reason you shouldn’t have heard something by now! You can say that – I just don’t want to show up with two dogs and have no where to go, and ask outright for a response.

          • Thanks, I just wanted to be sure it wasn’t common to hear from the host the day of or something. I’ll text later this afternoon/early evening, and if I still don’t hear anything back, I’ll call later this evening.

          • +1. I would actually do this sooner than later just in case. I don’t think anyone would think you’re being pushy if it’s the day before and you haven’t heard anything.

    • You booked a month ago and have heard nothing? That is totally inexcusable. I would call him – not text – actual call – right now. If no answer, call Airbnb right now. There are lots of ways this could have slipped through cracks, and there are lots of less than competent ABB landlords.

      • Thanks for confirming I’m not crazy to be worried about this haha! I can’t call until I’m off work, but I will probably shoot him a text in a few minutes, start there.

    • I just texted him – it’s an iPhone number so I can see that he started typing to respond, but then stopped. Crossing my fingers he responds. If I don’t hear anything by 6pm I’ll call. From Brew at the Zoo lol.

      • He answered – basically “I got your email this morning, but I generally don’t contact renters until the evening before the rental or the morning of it starting, I’ll be sending you the scripted email later today”
        .
        Ugh. Oh well at least I know it’s set, but I’m still quite annoyed.

        • That is the worst response I have ever heard, aside from no response.

        • This guy is no good. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I’d try to find back up accommodations, just in case.

          • That’s the real fun part, there is literally nothing within $400 difference that is an option with two dogs. I’m sure it’ll be fine, if this is his usual way of operating then whatever. As long as we can get in tomorrow I don’t care lol.

          • try to let us know how it goes, eggs! good luck!

  • Rant/Rave? I can’t decide: I never thought I would admire Ted Cruz for anything but woke up happy that he refused to support Trump. This is clearly a tactical play in his own bid to run in 2020 (so he can say, “I told you so”), but it still made me happy that someone in the Republican Party is taking some kind of stand.
    Rant: Baby Artie still up every 2.5 hours. Gods give me strength.
    Rave: I feel like I am holding it together fairly well considering that I’m solo parenting this week, work is busy, and home life is even busier.
    Rant: Police shooting in Miami. I’m so so tired of these headlines.

    • Are you co-sleeping? Being able to feed the baby without really waking up is a sanity-saver. Also, my babies were less likely to fuss if they woke up near me, as opposed to alone in their own beds. They often just played quietly for a few minutes, and then went back to sleep.
      Single parenting an infant who doesn’t sleep well makes you some kind of superhero. I always thought babies should come with three parents. At any time, one can be working, one can be sleeping or otherwise practicing self-care, and the third can take care of the baby.

      • I’m going to second the co-sleeping. It’s what kept me sane through pseudo-single parenting of infants while working full-time and commuting.(there’s a reason he’s my ex). I know co-sleeping isn’t for everyone, but it was a life changer for me.

    • Sorry your kiddo is giving you sleep trouble. Mine slept for 45 minutes at a time. For 4 months, then 2-3 hours after that. It was miserable, and I still have no recovered from the basically no sleep I got for the first year. I hope it gets better for you.

    • @WDC, we don’t co-sleep because I am very violent sleeper, and it never felt safe for Artie. @J, yikes! I am so sorry you had some many sleep issues with the little guy.

      To be fair, before the four month mark, he was a decent sleeper. I’m hoping that with time we will work it out as he gets through this developmental milestone. And the solo parenting thing is temporary while my partner is away. I give the real respect to single parents, who don’t have a back up or day off.

  • Blithe

    Rant/Rave-ish: Yet another unarmed black man shot by police. Fortunately, he wasn’t killed. When the man asked the officer why the officer shot him while he was lying on the ground, trying to calm an autistic patient who ran out of a group home, the officer, reportedly, replied: “I don’t know”.
    .
    Rant: This really adds another layer to the reality of my and our anxiety : “I don’t know”. When the response to questions about racism, abuse of power, and the dozens and dozens of aggressions and so-called micro-aggressions on the part of even those who, supposedly, have been trained and sworn to protect and serve us as citizens is “I don’t know”, it becomes almost impossible to develop effective strategies to protect ourselves, let alone to effect positive changes in the policies and practices of the greater society in which we live.
    .
    Rave: Hot Pink Birkenstocks. At least and at last my feet are comfortable.
    .

    • HaileUnlikely

      Aside from the very problems of racism and subtle racial bias on the part of police, I believe that we also have a severe problem of unqualified and unfit people being hired to be police officers. This is absolutely not to say that the majority of police officers are unqualified or unfit–I do not believe that–but when a person is given the responsibility and power of a police officer, the number of unfit and unqualified persons hired and given those powers should be zero, but that clearly is not the case. Several of the officers involved in high-profile shootings widely regarded as unjustified have fit that description (i.e., people who never should have been given police powers).
      .
      Similarly, when a generally competent officer has stuff going on that impairs their decision-making ability, there need to be straightforward, strict, and stigma-free protocol that are followed to make sure that those officers are not required or allowed to be on the street with guns at that time. E.g., somebody who hasn’t slept in 24 hours should be in bed, not on the street enforcing the law Somebody who has just been served divorce papers could probably use some time off and probably also shouldn’t be out on the street enforcing the law. Etc.
      .
      Recent tragedies have shone a spotlight on real and important racial biases in policing, but I hope the issues of officer qualifications and officer fitness for duty do not get lost, because those are real issues too.

      • I get that police departments have major recruiting challenges, but I don’t get why there aren’t different levels of police officer. Have the best qualified ones packing heat and kicking in doors and basically fulfilling their Delta Force fantasies. Then have the less-qualified ones responding to noise complaints and smashed car windows. The newest trainees and the otherwise unqualified ones can walk a beat, unarmed and without cars, while they complete training and a probationary period.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Agreed with all of this. And have the ones who are generally a good officers but in a position that might compromise their judgment for temporary reasons doing administrative work at the office or on paid leave resting up and preparing to return to duty, not on the street. I believe many if not most agencies do this to a degree but that there is some stigma associated with it presently – it needs to be normalized.

          • Yes! The ones having temporary trouble (bad back, got divorce papers, whatever) can be stepped down to a different service for a while, where they can work and help, but cannot really hurt anyone.
            If we’re going to have a quasi-military police force, we need to make sure that only the best-trained and most focused are allowed to carry the real weapons. Most soldiers only do active soldiering for a few years, because it’s not something you can be good at in the long-term. Why do we expect police officers to literally soldier on for 20+ years? Everyone is on about how hard their job is… rather than excusing the murders of civilians, let’s show the police some recognition, by offering different paths to service, all with honor and respect.

        • Blithe

          I think that some police forces have tried to up the educational requirements — in the hope of getting more mature, and perhaps a more diverse group of candidates. I know of at least one police force that has used what I think were called community officers for certain kinds of tasks, in part to be able to use traditionally trained officers. One problem though, is that there’s no way to tell when something like a noise complaint will quickly evolve into something much more complicated.

      • I agree that qualifications and fitness are problems. NPR just had a segment with Atlanta’s police chief, and he mentioned problems with filling his classes at the Police Academy. I also wonder if training is an issue. It seems like some of these officers have a “warrior” mentality, not a “protect and serve the community” mentality, which also rolls into a discussion about the militarization of the police force.

        • A lot of officers are ex military. I’m sure it’s hard to separate policing here vs policing overseas.

          • Blithe

            Excellent points ke and Anon Spock.

          • This. There is a big difference between performing the job of soldier vs. policeman. Being able to shoot a gun really isn’t a good prerequisite.

          • I would actually say that the qualities that tend to make good soldiers (especially at time of war) would make someone a bad police officer. In my mind, a police officer needs to have openness, great communication skills, the ability to think and problem solve independently at a drop of a hat, and be a natural peacemaker. While there are military people who do exhibit these qualities, having grown up an army brat, having known many current military folks, I would say that this is not the norm.

      • Blithe

        I agree with all of this!

      • On the topic of unsuitable personalities getting into the police force, this New Yorker article about Albuquerque is really interesting (and alarming):
        http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/02/02/son-deceased
        .
        And this New Yorker article about Darren Wilson — the police officer who shot Michael Brown — touches on how cops don’t receive much training in people skills:
        http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/08/10/the-cop

  • Rant: That time of the season when I’ve very very tired of getting up at 4:30 am and having most of my body be stiff and/or sore every day.
    .
    Rave: Submitted my recent 2K time to a website that ranks this sort of thing (sponsored by the guys who make the rowing machines) and — while I know that this is essentially just some group of guys who are obsessed enough with erging to track their progress publicly, and that the elite rowers my age seem to be completely unrepresented — I am, in this particular playground, tied for sixth in the world.
    .
    Rave: Beautiful morning, with an extraordinary full moon glowing like a lunar commemorative quarter as it rose over the river and the bridges and the early morning fights fleeing the Beltway from National. – Even before that, the girlfriend who I wake up every weekday morning at 4:30 and who I have been insufficiently affectionate towards the last few days (see “sore and tired” above) threw her arms around me as the alarm clock went off and mumbled groggily, “you are wonderful.” She’s deluded, dear girl, but she she makes her boy feel good.

  • Rant: I scheduled Handy to come and clean my condo today in advance of my out of town guests arriving for my birthday. 30 minutes before they were scheduled, I get a text saying “They called out, you’ve been rebooked for Monday.” I contacted Handy immediately and said that it was unacceptable, they need to figure out how to get someone to my home today, and to call me. I guess we’ll see what happens. I do NOT have time for this shit.

    Rave: It’s my Friday, it’s my birthday weekend and I am going to be spending it with a lot of dear friends.

    • Andie302

      Our person that cleans our airbnb listings may be able to help you out in a pinch today if Handy can’t. If that’s the case let me know and I will get Dan to put us in touch so that I can put you in touch with her.

      • That would be amazing. I haven’t heard back from Handy yet (I emailed them at 10:35am) — how long should I wait before attempting contact again?

        • Andie302

          I would start trying for other options at this point, but that’s just me! Does Dan have your email?

          • He should! Dan, can you please put me in contact with Andie? Thanks!!

          • Actually, I am using my previous cleaning service. They were so happy to hear from me, and they are switching things around to make it happen. So I guess alls well that ends well! But Andie, thank you so much for the offer!!

          • Andie302

            Glad it worked out!

    • I’ve stopped using Handy for having been through similar experiences. Hope something works out.

      • If they don’t come through and fix this, I will never use them again, and I will also explain to my friends who use them that this happened (and they probably won’t use them any longer either).

  • Rant: old college buddies from out of town who just want to get drunk and scream about politics in public. Ugh.

  • Rant: Day 6 of 8 of a crazy work week. Roll on next steps.
    Rant: Just finished “The Girls” by Emma Cline. Great book, highly recommended.
    Revel: Excellent call with a good friend yesterday (hi!). It’s wonderful to feel loved by such awesome people.

  • Rant: Even crazier dreams than usual.
    Rant: Cat being rather demanding.
    Rave: Placated cat with wet food.
    Rant: Hot weather.
    Rave: The weekend approaches.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Weird dreams due to CNN being on all night. I was relieved to wake up and discover that:
    1. I really don’t have a PowerPoint presentation to make in Dallas that
    2. Was disrupted by British Trump soccer hooligans.
    Lucky Rave: I caught Lucy at 4:45 am doing the twirl and squat next to me in bed just in time to get her to the wee pad on the bathroom floor.
    Rave: Taylor Gourmet’s Carrol Park summer salad. Delish. Of course I order it without cucumbers since everyone knows cucumbers are nasty.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: bad dreams last night made my sleep no very restful.
    Rant: busy day at work.
    Rave: taking time to read popville.

  • Rant – mtpbaby still sick. And wow did last night suck. Teething plus bad fever and congestion is the pits!
    Rave – got into pediatrician this morning and he doesn’t have an ear infection.
    Rave – decided to stay home, snuggle my baby, rest and relax as possible, and get some reading done for work that I’ve been trying to get to got awhile without distraction.

  • Rave – Michelle Obama rapping with Missy Elliot and James Corden. Best FLOTUS ever. I’ll miss her.
    .
    Rant – Forgot my lunch at home.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: One year anniversary of stinky’s (the dog) passing.
    Rave: He had a good run, and I still miss him sometimes.
    Rant: Shaved off facial hair and look super chubby. Need to start exercising. ㅜ.ㅜ

    • If you are looking to make another beast happy, this weekend WHS/WARL are participating in the #cleartheshelters event and all the fees are lower!

      http://www.washhumane.org

      • Sorry about you pup, That One Guy. I still get teary-eyed over my childhood dog that passed away 4 years ago. I also wanted to second Hookdntx’s comment about the Clear the Shelters event! The DC shelter is participating, as well as other animal shelters in area – Montgomery County Animal Care and Control, Animal Welfare League of Arlington, and Fairfax County Animal Shelter.

  • Rave: The weather (at the moment) is FANTASTIC! If only it could stay like this!
    Rant: Relatives in Minnesota telling me about their 115 heat index, which is heading our way.
    Rant’ish: Was asked to be on the committee for a pilot project at work…mainly b/c my job is ‘stable’…as in, I never leave my desk. Not necessarily because they want me for my talents/abilities. Ergh.
    Rant: The RNC. Don’t even get me started.
    Rave’ish: This weekend is our ‘preCana’ (marriage prep) retreat. I’m a little terrified going into it…but hopefully a lot of good will come from it!

    • HaileUnlikely

      Which marriage prep are you going to? I did the one put on by the Archdiocese on Eastern Ave in Hyattsville. I would say half of mine was excellent and half of it was awful. On the whole, it was worthwhile, even thought parts of it were pretty lame. It was led by a married priest (no kidding, really – he was Anglican, and Anglicans can be married).

      • It’s really the natural family planning that I’m kind of dreading…’cause that’s NOT going to happen.

        • So in a previous life, I was a pretty devout, practicing Catholic, NFP and all. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance I know the person or couple teaching your NFP class! I actually like NFP. I used it to get pregnant twice, and my TTC time period was shamefully low compared to most people I know. It’s a great way to learn about your body if you don’t already know it. Now, as far as the practical stuff goes, they will probably expect you to track and check in with your instructor for a few months. But, if you don’t do this, it’s not like your priest isn’t going to marry you!

  • Rant: a package (of yogurt, of all things! I like the brand Elli Quark and they have all sorts of fun flavors perfect for my at-desk breakfasts) was stolen off my porch in NE. Then the punks had the nerve to throw the empty box over the fence into my backyard!
    Rave: the customer service reps at Elli Quark are wonderful and called back within the hour of my email. They’re going to resend (this time to my office).
    Rant: My housemate had a package of very important medicine (!!) stolen off the porch as well.
    Rant: they also stole the package containing the replacement lid of our currently broken trash can! So now we have a still-broken trash can, I am yogurt-less, and my housemate doesn’t have her $800 pills.
    Rave: Life could be worse. A friends mother died of cancer yesterday (obviously not a rave by any means), but it puts it in perspective. Cherishing the ones around me, including my own mother (who was diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago, but who is now cancer-free).

    • Is this a first theft? I can’t imagine getting meds costing $800 left on a porch in the summer.

      • Yeah. I am actually surprised she authorized it to be delivered to the house. We’ve had theft in the past (sporadically — it had gotten less likely in the recent past, which is why I decided to chance it with my yogurt. But i had been getting more important packages delivered to my office — kicking myself for not doing it with this).

  • RANT: Judges in DC are entertaining motions to release people being held for murders, robberies, rapes and shootings because it’s “too hot” in the jail and the AC isn’t working properly. Anybody know who I can call and yell at about this?

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