“This is ridiculous/hilarious, especially when you read the commenter who says they have the wrong person.”

pain sculpture

Ed. Note: I weep for our collective future.

Thanks to all who emailed links to this insanity. City Paper reported yesterday:

“The manager, “Liz S.,” called out the Yelper for allegedly losing control of her bowels in the middle of the restaurant and sitting in it for the remainder of the evening. The restaurant claimed they had to reroute patrons so they wouldn’t walk through the mess, and that the Yelper threw her underwear away in their trash can, forcing an employee to clean up her feces.”

The whole thing is absolutely bonkers – but alas it gets more bonkers. A reader notes: “This is ridiculous/hilarious, especially when you read the commenter who says they have the wrong person.”

Hard to not find this hilarious but it’s SO untrue – My friend Emma is the one who left the Yelp review and is now being accused of being the pooper, and without a doubt the manager/owner have it all wrong. We SAW the girl who actually pooped – she had short brown hair and was wearing a polka dot dress. Emma has long dark hair and was wearing striped pants and was sitting with us the whole time – was drinking ONE fruity cocktail (not two beers as the owner claims) and was with our group the entire time (not with EMTs or refusing to sign forms as the owner claims). The only thing I can think of is that the girl who pooped must have also been named Emma? This whole thing is ridiculous – Nick’s should go ahead and share that CCTV footage they claim to have, as I’m sure the only reason they’re not is because they have the wrong person. They better lawyer up since they started this viral libel about someone! I’m surprised a restaurant would go about it this way knowing how much hot water they can get into for accusing the wrong person of such a gross thing.

83 Comment

  • I cannot conceive of a realistic circumstance where someone would have something so embarrassing happen to them but would then out themselves with a bad Yelp review. I’m inclined to believe the commenter.

    • Even before the restaurant’s response Emma C. voices a suspicion that she’d been confused with someone else.

      • Yeah, this does strike me as a case of mistaken identity right from the get-go. They mistakenly charged her someone else’s tab (probably with a similar name), when she tried to correct it she was told SHE was wrong (“I can’t fix this and there’s no one here who can” is code for “I’m right and you’re wrong”), and when she complained about being wrongly charged was ridiculed as the “other Emma.”
        I have never been so glad to have an unusual name…not some modern “yunikee” name, just a slightly uncommon but certainly not unheard of first name combined with a very rare last name.

  • I feel sorry for Emma with the short brown hair, who obviously had a medical problem. It’s unfortunate that the restaurant staff had a disgusting mess to clean up, but people get sick sometimes. It’s cruel of the manager to accuse her of not being potty trained.

    • #JusticeforEmmaC

    • It’s cruel to those around you to sit in feces then leave a mess. If I was incontinent and not wearing a diaper (as would seem appropriate to do), I’d try to make the best of the situation: help to clean and leave soon after.

      • Right. Sitting in their own poop makes me think it wasn’t a medical issue. I feel like you’d have to be wasted out of your mind to do that.

        • I was thinking mortified. She was trying to be as discrete as possible about it and hope her friends and other patrons didn’t notice. The restaurant staff said she had two beers and didn’t seem intoxicated at all.

          • I’d like to think intoxicated, but some people are just filthy.
            If people are stepping over and around the mess, discretion is gone. Just leave.

          • I thought that was happening after she left, like it dripped on the floor when she got up. Hard to tell what was going on exactly from the multiple accounts, but I think anyone would be feeling a range of negative emotions (fear, embarrassment, discomfort) if it happened to us so some compassion is in order. The only reason you’re not “filthy” like her is because you happen to be in good health.

          • I’m not filthy because I have better morals and manners than the offender. I’m not calling incontinent people or people who have accidents filthy…only someone willing to sit in feces for 2 hrs. If she has cognitive issues causing that behavior, then I will gladly retract my statement as applied to her.

          • Hell no. Mortification would make you hightail it out of there so fast you wouldn’t bother getting your credit card. Is run so fast and just get a new card. Apologize PROFUSELY the next day or maybe even go with the ambulance just to save face and blame it on a medical emergency. This is the most embarrassing thing ever. And it happened to my friend once on the metro in Spain. She had eaten something horrible and after the “incident” cried for two days. And it was just an unfortunate accident. If anyone has seen Sandra Bullock in Two Weeks Later or whatever, you can see how ONE burrito can do this to you. Sitting in it however signifies more problems than the physical. That’s mental sh*t right there. Her and her friends who let her sit in her own feces. WTF??

          • I wonder how the staff knew she was sitting in it for two hours, and why they didn’t say or do anything about it. Or why her friends didn’t either. I’m inclined to think they assumed it had been there the entire during of her stay when it may not have been.

        • Maybe she had diarrhea and was mortified??
          It’s hard for me to imagine that someone (except maybe an unruly toddler??) would deliberately poop their pants in a restaurant. Or do it accidentally and not be anything but mortified with embarrassment. So the restaurant’s response seems like overkill.
          When I followed the links to the original Yelp review, I noticed that the Yelper sounds like a non-native speaker of English. This doesn’t have any real bearing on the poop allegation, but if there were in fact two Emmas — one Yelper, one pooper — that might distinguish between them.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Or perhaps have some mental/cognitive issues. Who knows?

    • If you are in a restaurant and have a medical problem of this kind, you need to leave asap. You don’t sit around for 2 hours. The smell of this “accident” must have been truly awful.

      In this case, i would think a manager could ask you to leave.

  • why would a restaurant want the public to know that someone pooped their pants there? i don’t want to go there knowing someone could have sat in their own feces in the chair i’m sitting in! just ewwwww

    • +1 to “why would a restaurant want the public to know that someone pooped their pants there?” I don’t see how it’s in their interest to do this. If they felt so compelled to respond to the one-star Yelp review, seems like they could’ve said something like “you did in fact have 2 happy hour drinks. You aren’t hard to forget considering that you left a mess on your chair, on the floor, and in the trash can. You know what we’re talking about.”
      I had never heard of the restaurant until this thread, and now I’ll think of it as “that place with the Yelp/poop controversy.”

      • HaileUnlikely

        “I had never heard of the restaurant until this thread, and now I’ll think of it as ‘that place with the Yelp/poop controversy.'” Same here.

      • binntp

        I also was completely unfamiliar with this place…and now will likely never go there as it will have this association.

        • Meh, it was an overpriced/average quality bar frequented by people with boats who park along the waterfront and tourists (and a small number of people from the offices in the area).

          • I actually enjoy having drinks in the outdoor bar area sometimes. But it wouldn’t occur to me to eat inside.

      • I guess you guys don’t go to the Georgetown Waterfront ever. It’s one of the anchor restaurants there.

      • It also draws plenty of attention to the restaurant’s 212 other reviews that average out to 2.5 stars

      • Tsar of Truxton

        That is because it is not really known for being a restaurant. It is one of the two main indoor/outdoor bars at the gtown waterfront on the water side of the fountain. Nick’s is on one side and Tony and Joe’s is on the other side. They have been there for years, but most people go to drink not eat.

        • I rarely go to Georgetown, so that’s probably the biggest factor in my not having heard of this establishment.

  • justinbc

    LOL easily one of the most funny Yelp stories of all time.

  • Did the trashcan not have a bag or liner in it? If so I don’t see how that was much of a problem.
    One time someone threw diarrhea-covered clothing all over my DPW trashcan. THAT was a pain to clean up.

    • I’m guessing something similar to your trash can scenario: everything didn’t make it into the can.

      • That’s because the DPW trashcans aren’t lined with anything, and the person deliberately piled some of the clothes on top of the closed lid. Different kind of trashcan than what I’m picturing the restaurant having, unless she went out to the alley and used one of those.

        • When I’ve worked in restaurants, our cans were tucked away, so the area around the can or the side of it if it fell nearby is what I had in mind. A lined can isn’t going to help that situation.
          Not to be super gross, but based on the scenario laid out, the underwear could have been dripping.

          • I guess I just assumed it was the bathroom trash can?

          • I assumed otherwise, but bathroom cans can vary widely, but lots of bigger places have those in the wall attached to the dispenser setups. The openings aren’t big.

    • I agree. I like that the manager is upset for leaving the dirty towels int he garbage. Did she expect Emma to take the poop-covered clothing and towels to go?

  • What’s even funnier is that when you Google “Nick’s Riverside Grill,” the first thing that comes up is the City Paper story. So anyone looking for this restaurant’s location, menu, etc. gets to see this first!

    • hahahaha! that’s great.

    • hahahah couldn’t agree more … no one in their right mind would out themselves for something like this.

      also even logistically no one wearing pants could publicly “throw their underwear in a trash can” without the world seeing everything…

      • The Yelp commenter’s friend says the alleged pooper was wearing a dress. I think people have been using the phrase “to poop one’s pants” to mean “to poop while fully dressed.”

  • Nick’s has always sucked. Let’s hope Emma has the number of a good lawyer, because she has an amazing case here.


    • Does she? If she actually lost control of her bowels and everything Nicks said was true than there was no defamation.

      • but clealry there was defacation

      • If the Emma C. Yelp reviewer WASNT the one that pooped, then Yes, Nicks is on the hook for libel.
        Either way, why would ANY restaurant respond publicly connecting their restaurant with that is beyond me. This story is the first thing that comes up when you google Nicks now…

        • +1 to “Either way, why would ANY restaurant respond publicly connecting their restaurant with that is beyond me.” It seems they were so determined to get revenge that they overlooked the harm they were doing to themselves.

    • Agreed! Nick’s has always been that place you go because it’s on the water and your bartender at Sequoia isn’t working that night…

  • Perhaps it was the food that made her have to go…

  • I can’t think of one single thing to say about this except to reiterate the editorial note – I weep for our collective future.

    • Agreed. All parties involved should go stand in the corner.

      • All parties? If the commenter’s account is accurate, I’m not sure the original Yelp complainer did much wrong. Being overcharged like that isn’t a major crime, and writing a nasty Yelp review about it isn’t an escalation. It’s the restaurant that would have made the mistake of confusing a woman with the pooper and then continuing that confusion into the public sphere (and only then into the original Yelp complainer’s awareness).

        • And if she is indeed a non-native speaker of English, those shouldn’t be held against her.

  • They need an ad agency to turn this into a positive. Maybe “Eat at Nick’s. Our food’s so good you won’t leave the table even to poop.”

  • So let’s summarize what happened here:
    (1) A customer (Emma 1) pooped in the restaurant and Nick’s staff thought that, rather than seeking medical attention or trying to otherwise help her, the best course of action was to let her sit in poop for two hours.
    (2) Nick’s overcharged another customer (Emma 2), who presumably also had to smell poop while drinking her cocktail.
    (3) When the Emma 2 complained about poor service, Nick’s unrepentantly tried to pin Emma 1’s poop on Emma 2.
    Why would anyone ever go to this godawful place?

    • I was with Emma 2 at Nick’s when this happened and your summary is 100% accurate if the girl who pooped is named Emma…we can’t think of another reason why Nick’s assumed Emma 2 did it.

  • “They better lawyer up since they started this viral libel about someone!” ….Lawyer up???? She’s an anonymous poster on f’ing Yelp!!!! They don’t have to do $hit!

    • I’m having trouble revving up my internet hate machine here. It sounds like the restaurant made an embarrassing mistake. Of course, maybe the commenter disambiguating the Emmas is lying? I dunno; is there anything at stake here worth getting to the bottom of? Emma the commenter might be out $8 or so because of the mixup, but having the establishment publicly make a spectacle of themselves should make up for that. Emma the pooper probably wasn’t a Yelp complainer, so we can probably just assume she had a medical issue of some kind and move on from directing too much ire her way. The restaurant seems to have mistakenly identified a Yelp complainer, but, like who cares? Again, their embarrassment should be enough punishment there.

      All around, a pretty funny read with no major victims. Good work, internet.

    • When both the manager/owner falsely accuse and provide details about the falsely accused person to the press, they do – in fact – have to do shit. Read the original story, the quotes are there: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/food/article/20781409/nicks-riverside-grill-accuses-yelper-of-pooping-her-pants-after-negative-review

  • I’m just surprised Nick’s has 2.5 stars on Yelp. Seems high, regardless of poop.

  • Have you ever used the bathrooms at Nick’s? I would poop my pants too before going in there!

  • “Welcome to Nick’s. Pooping or non-pooping?”

  • Sounds like a rechristening to “The Poop Deck” might be in order.

  • Between when I first read the City Paper story this afternoon and now, they’ve added an update — an additional response from the restaurant. (Unless I missed it the first time around.)
    The update makes the customer sound difficult/uncooperative and puts the restaurant in a more favorable light.
    I still think their original response to the Yelp review was overboard. All they had to do was to say something like “… the mess you created. YOU KNOW WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT.”

  • Heavy.com has a chronology of all of the postings and responses — apparently Emma herself posted an angry reply on Yelp (since taken down, along with the original review and the restaurant’s response).

  • Sorry, the restaurant calling her out was NOT overboard. Who leaves poopy underwear and towels in a restaurant bathroom? She clearly had no shame and left it for someone else to clean up. I would take the trash outside and get gloves and clean up any evidence. That is really disgusting to leave for staff!

    • They’re cutting off their nose to spite their face. Even if the commenter was guilty of this behavior, does publicly shaming her really make the restaurant come out ahead?

      • +1. It does not. If anything, I’m sure it drew dozens of people to go see their (many) other less-than-stellar reviews on Yelp.

    • I was with a friend who had Crohn’s Disease and he had a major blowout in a restaurant. There were 6 of us out to lunch, and suddenly his face drained of ALL color and started yelling at us to get out of the way so he could get to the bathroom. It seemed his Crohn’s hit a vein, emptied the vein into his colon (which explains why his face went completely white) and filled up his colon so fast that he felt like he was going to explode.
      He ran to the bathroom! But after a few minutes, the rest of us were so disturbed by his action, that they sent me in after him. I found him on the floor unconscious and having a seizure (from loss of blood, I guess) with his pants around his ankles with a pile of bloody shit in his pants.
      The ambulance got there quickly, and it turned out that he fainted once he got to the toilet and fell and hit his head – so that’s why he was unconscious.
      Anyway, to answer your question about who would leave a shitty mess? Well, the restaurant was kind enough to give me bags and towels, and I put his pants (with the full load of bloody shit) into the bags and took them home with me to wash. But the mess that was all over the bathroom? The restaurant sent some poor dude in with a mop and bucket and he had to clean it. I did do the bulk of the solid waste removal, but I was mortified by the incident and so were my friends and especially the one with the blowout. None of us ever showed our faces in that place again, even though they went above and beyond what anyone could have expected! I do remember giving them a nice fat tip though. Unfortunately, that went to the waiter and not the guy who cleaned up. But I was more concerned for my friend at that point.

      Bottom line – if you’re sick enough to shit your pants, but not unconscious, I’d imagine I would just want to scurry away asap and there’s no way I would follow up with a yelp post.

  • My friend Emma C (the Yelp reviewer) emailed Washington City Paper to make sure the article includes the truth. They have now updated the article to include her response: http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/food/article/20781409/nicks-riverside-grill-accuses-yelper-of-pooping-her-pants-after-negative-review

    • Sorry for your poor friend. She appears to have had to change yelp name to Ccc M. to avoid further harassment. The management at Nick’s really need to step up and apologize here.

      • Agreed. Whether or not the person was the pooper (which I believe she is clearly not), no one deserves to be publicly shamed and harassed in that manner. It is completely unprofessional.

        • She is trying to reach Nick’s for an apology or them to clear the air but not surprisingly they won’t talk to her or call her back.

  • I have an older relative who is incontinent due to alcoholism. He has alcoholic neuropathy, which means he can’t feel his legs (or sometimes bowels). He’s been known to sit in his feces all afternoon while drinking and not know until someone tells him. It’s really sad.

  • What a shitty situation!

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