Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Victoria Pickering

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

179 Comment

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Tights season is OVER!
    Rant: Why is it impossible to make low-cut socks that stay on your feet? Those silicone strips are useless.
    Rave: Youngest Zelda is heading off on a school trip to Quebec City today.

  • Rave; baby is here! One week old already. He is great but mostly it’s just sooooo wonderful not to be pregnant anymore.
    Rant: none πŸ˜‰

    • Rant: totally forgot – but as my water broke we took my kitty to the vet and ended up having to put her down day after baby came. She lost her fight to cancer my poor old thing. So sad she didn’t get to meet the baby or keep me company during maternity leave.

      • yikes! Posted my reply before your posted your rant! I’m so sorry your kitty lost her fight. Though I’m glad you have a new little wonderful little creature in your life!

      • What an emotional rollercoaster you must be on. But if anything can ease the sadness of losing a pet, it’s meeting that little person who’s been riding around with you for months. Congrats on the baby. πŸ™‚

      • So very sorry about your kitty. And +1000 on the wonder that is not being pregnant. Congrats to you.

    • Aw! Congratulations!

    • Congratulations on your baby!
      …and so sorry to hear about your kitty πŸ™

  • Rave: Great workout last night! Sometimes it really is very satisfying to sweat profusely
    Rant: extremely sore and can barely raise my arms to shoulder level this morning
    Rave: Gonna treat the roomie to a birthday dinner tonight!
    Rant: I cannot for the life of me concentrate on work today
    Random: can anyone recommend a vacuum, preferably not a huge giant one, that works really well on pet hair? My Shark vacuum died last week and for the past year or so was going downhill in terms of performance. I’m too lazy to try to sort through reviews online, so I figured I’d see who here has a vacuum they would recommend based on their own experience.

    • We have a low end canister Miele and it was great. You might want to check out the website the sweet home – it’s like Consumer Report but with more clear explanations and recommendations for household products. I use it for everything and it has saved me hours of research time.

      • Thanks for the vacuum and website recommendation! Do you remember about how much the Miele cost? I am not a fan of canister vacs but that may just be because the only one I ever used was my great-grandmothers from the 1950s, and it was such a PITA!

        • canadianexile

          This Miele C2Onyx Canister was expensive (+/- $500) but I am really happy with it. Row house, wood floors, no pets, so I don’t know how fast the bags would fill up if you have pets. I have allergies and hated emptying the bagless vacuum because no matter how careful I was dust spilled out.

          The Miele was recommended here http://thesweethome.com/reviews/best-vacuum-cleaner/ (which also talks about uprights if that is your preference).

        • I believe we spent around $450 four years ago. It still works and looks like it’s brand new and I love the look of it. I am not a fan of super manly Dyson designs.

          • There’s a vacuum store on Columbia Pike (near G. Mason Dr) in Arlington that carries them. The owner is awesome and will give a great deal. He sometimes has open box or floor models for a lower price.

    • Dyson V6, all the way. It is pricey, but well worth it. Also, every Dyson I have ever owned has lived enough years to pay for a cheaper vacuum 2-3 times. I should say, we have hard surfaces, if you have carpet, you may need to go with a larger, corded Dyson, though I would still totally recommend.

      • yeah, I have carpets. I’ve never had good luck with cordless vacuums, so I’d probably opt for a corded one anyone. My folks have had a Dyson for 6 years and it’s still going strong.

      • If you do go Dyson I think Target is having a big sale on them right now.
        Mine was so enormous I couldn’t find a place to put it in my new-ish place, so I gave it to my parents.

        • yeah, my brother and sister-in-law have a smaller corded Dyson that is perfect for an apt – I’ll have to ask them what model it is. Because yeah, they tend to be big and bulky!

          • hammers

            my dyson fits into the bigger/bulkeir camp but if you do go this route, and don’t need something brand new, hit me up because I’d be willing to sell mine if you were interested.

        • Also, if you or someone you know has a Costco membership, they’re usually cheaper there.

    • I have this one, it’s pretty great and it’s reduced even further than when I bought it on Amazon-
      Hoover Corded Cyclonic Stick Vacuum, SH20030

      It doesn’t have attachments though, so I just got this for the sofa, bed, and car and I like it so far-
      Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Handheld Vacuum, Corded, 33A1

    • Miele vacuums are pricey, but are recommended by allergists and are great with pet hair. I bought a Capri when my Kenmore vacuum died a few years ago and use it regularly. Solid warranty, solid craftsmanship, and worth every penny.

    • After two Dyson disappointments (SO heavy, and burned out in less than two years each) we got a Hoover 10 years ago. It’s only now beginning to wear out.

    • We just bought a Shark Rocket upright vacuum from Amazon, it’s great so far. It’s small, lightweight, has tons of attachments, and is good on pet hair. We use it on carpet and hardwood floors.

    • I need a vacuum for human hair. Seriously. After a few weeks, my hair wraps itself around the roller thingy and stops the whole thing up. I have to go in and cut out the chunks which sucks for my allergies cuz I get dust all over my hands making me a red itchy mess.

    • LBP — I bought a Shark vacuum (will have to search for its details) a couple of years ago. Its “BRUSHROLL ON” setting is the only thing that gets cat hair off my rugs (other than me trying to rub/pick it off manually).
      However, I find its suction on the non-brushroll setting rather disappointing, which means I still use my Dirt Devil vacuum for everything except rugs.

      • Textdoc – yeah, I had a shark for about 3 years, but it only really worked well for 1 year. πŸ™ Since I bought it on sale at Targe for $120, I guess I got my money’s worth. I dunno. I can’t decide if it’s worth it to shell out big money for a vacuum that will (or at least should) last for a long time, or just suck it up and pay $100-200 every year for an “ok” vacuum.

      • BTW, I would not recommend a canister vac, based on my (admittedly very limited) experience with my mom’s canister vacuum and a few weeks ago with a friend’s Dyson canister vacuum.

  • Rave: Loving this weather, and focusing on the good things in life.
    Rant: Ready for a new job. I need to work with professionals, not people with no boundaries.
    Revel: Seeing my parents in less than two weeks!

    Rant: Work. Doing double duty and no end in sight.
    Rave: Checks with overtime.

    • +1 on the sign!

      • Very clever. I wish I had been there with mine: “They come here because the U.S. goes there.” If you demolish somebody’s country, they will flee. They can’t help it. If they could get visas, they wouldn’t be illegal immigrants. Remittances lower poverty and forestall future immigration. See Mexico in the past generation.

  • Rant: In peak anxiety mode for some reason. Guess it’s time to find a therapist. I think my company offers EAP, which is nice. Not so nice is finding a therapist that takes my insurance and new patients.
    Rave: I drafted my rooms available post. Going to run it past my landlord today. Hopefully she likes it. My plan is to post in groups I belong too, and my Facebook first, then go public tomorrow.
    Rant: Between sitting at my desk all day, and walking less i’ve become sedentary. And gained about 15 pounds. In the long run thats not that bad. But I feel bad. I need to ramp up healthy eating/exercise. I don’t even know where to start.

    • skj – I’ve recently started seeing a therapist through my EAP, and the way our program works at least, we get 6 free sessions with a therapist. Granted, the selection is much slimmer, but I’ve found a therapist I’ve clicked with and feel like I’m making some progress. not sure what i’ll do after those 6 free sessions are up, but I highly encourage you to start the process, I promise it’s not as stressful as it first seems! Good luck my friend!

      • Thanks! I believe my company offers 5 sessions. The website is not really user friendly, so I’m going to call for more info. 5 sessions is better than nothing!

    • I would say, don’t try to do too much at once re: diet/exercise. Start with a piece of low-hanging fruit (i.e. an easy to implement item) that will have an impact, and then accomplish it, and move on from there. So, for example, walking 2 x / week, or no longer drinking soda, something like that. You’ll hopefully feel better from this, be energized, and be excited to take on something else small. All the changes will add up over time.

      Also, if you get some cardio, at least many folks (including myself) find that it decreases anxiety.

      • That’s the idea. Healthy snacks at the desk rather than candy. Bike to work twice a week, walk to run errands rather than metro.

    • I have also gained weight from being sedentary and too many at home happy hours. Just bought a deskcycle to keep my legs moving throughout the day – you can still type and read on a low setting and while I’m not counting on this to lose a ton of weight, it’s a good pedal in the right direction.

    • I had read up on the app TalkSpace and suggested it to my brother for grief/general anxiety/depression. He isn’t the most tech savvy, so wasn’t enthused by my recommendation (and he already has a therapist). It may be worth looking into in addition to EAP benefits provided by your employer.

  • Rave: Job offer.
    Rant: Nervous about accepting offer. Hear that the agency is a bit crazy and dysfunctional unlike where I am now. Telework option is only one day per pay period instead of my two per week now.
    Rave: New opportunity has promotion potential and will cut two hours a day off commute, so giving up extra TW days may not be too bad.

    • I used to commute an hour each way and it has such an impact on quality of life. Those two hours, and the associated stress, make sure a huge difference. You’re commuting almost a whole work day every week – think what you could do with that extra time.

      • Thinking that my time spent on the road 2-3, sometimes 4 hours roundtrip each of the three days I go in will add up to the extra day in the office. I love my team and the flexibility here, but I am exhausted when I get home. I’m telling myself that I can deal with the craziness to have a shorter commute and to be able to switch out the driving with a 5 minute walk & riding the metro 2 stops!

      • I used to have an hour+ driving commute and started developing chronic headaches and back pain and frequent panic attacks (which I had never had before). Now that I’m down to a 40-minute metro commute all that has gone away.

    • I’ve worked for three agencies. Two were crazy and dysfunctional (both related to law enforcement, but so is the 3rd which is very functional). I have no interest in going through the crazy again. On the other hand, some departments within an agency can be islands of sanity (or vice versa).

      And I went from 2 teleworking days per week to 0. I haven’t missed tw at all but my job also is a lot better than the previous one.

    • I was going to say “Don’t take it — it doesn’t sound like you want to take it”… until I arrived at “and will cut two hours a day off commute.”
      THAT is a definite quality-of-life consideration.
      The promotion potential is good, but without the commute issue, I’d say it wouldn’t be worth it to trade an OK job for a job you strongly suspect will be crummy. (I did this once and would not recommend it.) And the job itself isn’t a promotion, right — it just has a promotion track that goes higher than your current job?

      • It is a lateral with one full grade increase after the first year, so technically a promotion, just not right away. In the meantime, I will have two hours of my life per day back and will save $150-$200/month in gas by taking the metro.

        • Sounds like it’s worth taking.
          FWIW, though, I had a friend at another federal agency whose job was a 9/11/12 thing, and they took about 2 years (maybe even 3?) to promote to the next grade. At most federal agencies where I’ve been, it’s practically automatic, so I was very, very surprised to hear this.
          I’ve heard of it only in that one case, though, so probably nothing to worry about — especially if they specifically told you that you’d be promoted to ___ after the first year.

          • I work in HR and have seen this happen a few times where I am now, so I specifically asked that question. The response was depending on my performance, management could promote to the 13 after 90 days since I have my 52 weeks at the 12. Either way, I will save time/sanity on the commute and gas money. I’ve been lucky enough to have an amazing team where I am and really enjoy the work, but there’s absolutely no promotion potential in my branch in the near future and ever since we were “BRAC-ed” up here, the moral all around has gone down hill. I’m trying to convince myself this is the right choice, can you tell? lol.

          • Haha, I can tell. πŸ˜‰
            It sounds like a good move for the commute alone. Fingers crossed that the people you work with aren’t as crazy as the agency overall!

  • maxwell smart

    R: I am having one of those days where I am ready for lunch now and kinda debating how judge-y my coworkers would be if I are my lunch now… and then got second lunch at lunch time, of course.

    • Haha. Your coworkers need to get a life!

    • I am literally about to head out to grab lunch. I don’t eat breakfast so I usually eat lunch around 11. Maybe second lunch can be an enhanced snack?

    • I eat 2-3 times a day at work, and people are always snacking. I’m sure you’ll be fine.
      I never understand how people manage on 1 meal in 8-9 hours.

  • Rave: Daughter came down and rowed this morning. She’s rowing with the less maniacal “club” program rather than my “competitive” crew, but it will still be great to see her around the boathouse. After practice, she was just smilin’, smilin’ from being on the water, which made me smile.
    Weird: She will be rowing with woman far closer to her age than mine, with whom I had a few sub rosa rendez-vous during the interstitial between wife and girlfriend. Let’s hope she doesn’t go out drinking with the team and get the dirt (or a confession). And let’s hope the other intermittent oarswoman I hung out with around that time doesn’t decide that this is her season to come back.
    Rave: Girlfriend back tonight from a brutal ten days that included a conference and high-pressure presentation on the West Coast, the sudden (if not entirely unpredictable) death of the Uncle who essentially raised her — along with the aunt with a recently-discovered cancerous kidney — and subsequent funeral, and time time dealing with her father’s personal effects and financial arrangements now that he is in terminal decline. It would be a good night to be a good boyfriend.
    Rant: She’s out of town next week, again.

    • I loved reading this. I rowed for a while in college and treasure the memories of the early mornings on the water, the team camraderie, and of course, getting to gossip about the team incest.

    • This makes me think of the memorable opening line (or perhaps just a memorably delivered opening line) from a nonfiction piece that one of my fellow campers at Duke Young Writers’ Camp read aloud for the whole camp:
      “Crew: It’s not just a sport, it’s your life.”

  • Rant: Allergies kicking my butt this week…it’s just nonstop snot faucet…
    Rave: Parents coming to visit this week and we have some fun things planned.

  • Andie302

    Rant: My hair has reached the length where it’s between my back and my chair when I sit back, so when I move my head, it pulls. How do women deal with this? It is driving me insane! I think it literally just happened this morning too – which is weird to identify! For now I will pull it forward, but ugh!
    Rave: That’s my only rant!

    • Haha, I know exactly what you mean. I keep my hair pretty long and a lot of annoying things like that happen. I am glad winter is over too because it kept getting caught in my jacket zipper! I usually put it up in a bun when I am home.

    • My hair is really long and I just noticed this morning that it hits my forearms when I run – which then drove me crazy for the rest of my run! I guess I either need to cut it or wear it in a bun.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Some lilies and a hydrangea did not make it through the winter and my suspicion is that overzealous amateur gardening last Fall is to blame.
    Rave: In the meantime, a hydrangea out front has sprouted a twin. Looks like a branch got stuck beneath the soil and created a new bush which leads me to a
    Question: I’ve been looking into propagating rosemary and lavender from root cuttings. Seems simple. Has anyone tried this? I might also try a hydrangea cutting.

  • Not sure if rant or rave: Cookies Corner, at the intersection of 2nd and U Streets NW, just closed. It was an interesting place. Pretty clean and nice up front, but with old-school bullet-proof partitions at the register. The sandwiches were just okay, so I only went a few times. I’m praying a coffee shop takes over. Bloomingdale/LeDroit needs coffee north of Rhode Island Avenue!

  • Question: Is there a consensus that if it’s not a distance relationship or other extraordinary circumstances, breakups should always happen in person?

    • I mean, if it’s like a multi-year relationship, probably.

      Otherwise, texting becoming the default mode of communication has elevated the status of a phone call. Now texting a breakup is unacceptable, and a phone call looks much better in comparison. Plus you don’t have that whole buildup where you have to lie to the person about why you have to meet up, etc.

    • Yes.

    • I’d say that if you’re in a situation where you actually have to break up (so there is some relationship there vs. just going out a few times), then yes.

    • I would say almost always yes. But it really depends on the situation. My last breakup we both knew was coming, and we decided that it would make us too sad to see each other just to break up. So we jointly decided it wasn’t going to happen in person.

    • I’d say yes — the breaker-upper owes it to the other party to deliver the bad news in person.

    • Generally yes, obviously with exceptions. If you had only been on a few dates, texting or calling is fine and is obviously way preferable to “ghosting.” If you’re mature enough to be in a real relationship, you should be mature enough to actually tell a person you no longer want to date them. If you’re concerned for your safety, obviously do not do it in person.
      Unsolicited advice: In my very limited experience it’s better to meet up for coffee or a drink or dessert or a walk than for a full meal (I think there’s a How I Met Your Mother episode about this), because you can quickly get to the point without having to get through a whole meal knowing what you’re about to say.

  • justinbc

    Rave: Soaker system installed throughout the whole yard. Watering this year just got infinitely easier.
    Rave: Checked out the new Lowe’s finally. It’s spiffy, so much nicer + cleaner than the RI Home Depot.
    Rant: But it also feels so empty, not just with people but many shelves just have no inventory. I found some nice things there that weren’t at HD, but for most things I think I’ll actually stick with HD and only check Lowe’s if I can’t find it.
    Rave: Got a new fridge from AJ Madison for 75% of the price of HD’s already discounted model year-end prices.

    • Andie302

      Did you just search the sales on AJ Madison to find the new fridge?

      • justinbc

        We saw the specific model we wanted in the store (we needed a unique size to fit our cabinet height), so I pulled up AJM while there to compare prices. They almost always have the lowest prices on appliances compared to anywhere else I’ve looked, so I always at least check with them before buying (and if you’re buying in bundles or working with a contractor they give you an even deeper discount).

    • HaileUnlikely

      Thanks for the tip on AJM; I’ve made a note of that for future use.

    • Hmm… I’m not sure I’d ever heard of AJ Madison. (Or if I did, it failed to stick.) Will have to keep this in mind for whenever I get my courage up to get my terrible kitchen renovated.

      • justinbc

        When we were pricing out our remodel I looked through pretty much every possible vendor, both locally and big store, and they consistently had the best prices, especially for multiple pieces. There have been a few times over the years where they couldn’t match a specific sale someone was doing (wine fridge comes to mind), but on the whole they are either #1 or close to it. Their customer service is great too, and NO DC SALES TAX!!

  • I know I’ve seen this on here before, but asking if anyone can recommend a good lender I can meet with to discuss my financial situation and let me know what I can actually afford/would qualify for a mortgage loan. I own currently and am trying to figure out if I can keep my current place as a rental and buy a new place with a smaller down payment based on the fact that if I rent my place it will cover that mortgage twice over. I’m not looking for a loan right this moment, just trying to weigh all my options and know what I can do if a place I like comes on the market. Anyone know someone low-key who wouldn’t make me feel pressured to move forward on a loan?

    • justinbc

      Todd Sheinin w/ New America Financial (office in Gaithersburg but he’s happy to work via phone / email).

    • Side note: you wouldn’t be able to count the rental income until you’ve rented for 2 years with corresponding tax returns, so if that is a plan, you need to get the ball rolling on that one.
      It didn’t appear you factored that into your planning, so I wanted to mention it.

      • Accountering

        Meh, this has relaxed a bit, and you can sometimes make this work. We were able to buy a place, and they took prospective rental income into account. Find a lender who will work with you on this one.

        • You have history as a successful landlord. As far as I’ve been told, once you hit 2 years on 1 rental then you can count prospective income on other rentals.
          I see it being very unlikely a lender would take the risk on an untested landlord.

        • I bought a new place and kept my old place as a rental and they counted it even though I had not previously been a landlord and had no history. Both places are in DC. I did have to show a signed lease on the old place.

    • The Doug Enger team at Prime Lending. They are excellent!

    • Andie302

      I really like Chris Jordan. I always recommend him to clients, have used him personally more than once, and inevitably bug him twice a year with questions similar to yours – always with a quick and thorough response. You can do his online application and then in the comments explain – he’ll get back to you and probably set a time to talk through your situation. https://cjordan.gofirsthome.com/

    • we used this guy: https://www.monarchbank.com/employees/ndourian/ on a recommendation and he was WONDERFUL. We were in a very odd situation – relocating to another state, leaving our jobs behind, but had the money to pay for our mortgage. My husband’s GI Bill couldn’t count as income and all that stuff. We were also a VA loan. He was so patient and helpful. We had used other people before for other products (mortgages, refinancing, etc) but Nick was truly the best I had worked with.

    • Thanks everyone – the last time I bought was 20 years ago, so I know that things have changed. I actually was a landlord for (almost) two years since I rented out my current place when I moved to the Caribbean, but that was 1999-2001. I tend to forget that I did that, and I don’t know how I would “prove” that I was a responsible landlord. This is why I want to meet with someone who can look at my whole situation – plugging numbers into a loan calculator doesn’t really do it.

      • justinbc

        You prove your landlord status by showing the income claimed on your tax returns.

        • Yeah…if I can find my tax returns from 99-01…and since I was living in the US Virgin Islands at the time, I didn’t have to file federal for one of those years. Anyway, it was so long ago that it probably wouldn’t make much difference to my current situation.

          • justinbc

            Haha yeah I know that’s unrealistic, just saying that’s usually how it’s “proven”. Signed leases can be used in some cases as well.

  • Rave: Baseball is back, and nothing is more relaxing than watching it on TV with a tall cool one and the windows open on a warm day.
    Rant: Pirates play tonight, but starting about 10:00 pm, just around when I’m going to bed.
    Projected Rave: Bucs are going all the way this year! (Sorry, Nats.)

  • Rave: Fabulous time at my DC barn last night – rode the best horse in the world and jumped and loved every second.
    Rant: In the office today instead of outside enjoying the incredible weather.
    Rave: Wonderfully beautiful bike commute in my dress. So breezy, so easy, and few stupid drivers today.
    Query: PoPville Book Club – how do people feel about a graphic novel for our May book (that’s readily available from the library)? We had talked about the How to be a Woman but there are not many copies in the library. Instead, I was thinking of Persepolis, the graphic novel. Thoughts?

  • Rave: Our HOA did a surprise inspection this morning less than 2 hours after the other Mrs. Rabbit cleaned out the ridiculously tall weeds in our front garden. Yay for avoiding the hassle of a write up!
    Rant: Being woken up by our neighbor’s dog wanting to be let back in the house at 4:30 this morning. I really wish they would wait for their dog to come back in rather than let it bark loudly for 10 minutes before getting it.
    Rant: Need to shake this funky/sad/bad mood I’m in today.
    Rave: New doughnut pan arrived which means it’s time to make some doughnuts. And I have a new interesting-sounding doughnut recipe to test out.

    • Oh, I had one of those neighbors once. They would get up really early, let the dog out, and then maybe get in the shower or something. Because the dog was done with his business and ready for breakfast within 5 minutes. But the people always let him yip for at least 10 minutes before they let him in. Don’t be that neighbor, folks!

  • Not sure if rant or rave: Was talking with colleague at end of work trip yesterday and matter of our personal lives came up. I mentioned that i was feeling ready to have the ‘hey, it could be fun to live together’ talk with the fella but wasn’t sure how to go about that. Wise older colleague gamed the conversation out for me, and now it’s percolating in the back of my head. He’s meeting my parents next week and it’s been almost 8 months. Still, crazy to even consider…right?

    • No. This conversation comes up periodically on PoP and you’ll find a lot of people moved in together at 4, 7, 9 months and it worked out fine. As long as you’re doing it for the right reasons and you’re both okay with it. Just make sure you both have clear expectations on the financial side of things (rent, utilities, groceries, etc) and how chores/household maintenance will work.

    • It’s definitely not crazy. It depends on your relationship and what kind of agreement the two of you can come up with in regards to how the household would operate. My now wife and I moved in together after only 3 months of dating. It seemed crazy at the time to our friends but it felt right for our relationship.

      • Well, there _is_ that “What does a lesbian bring on a second date?” joke… πŸ˜‰

        • And sadly, we didn’t use U-Haul. We used Budget. That’s become one of the worst jokes in our house now for the past 6 years.

    • Fwiw, my husband and I got married after only 8 months of dating. We didn’t live together before that, but only for practical reasons (waiting out leases, etc.). Not crazy to consider at all.

    • Not necessarily crazy… but I would recommend not going into it for primarily financial reasons and not going in with a plan of “Oh, and if it doesn’t work, one of us can always move out” (or similar). That plan might seem simple on paper but is a LOT more difficult to execute in real life.

    • everyone is different! I moved in with my partner after approx. 5 mos of dating, but on a provisional basis – I sublet my apartment for 4 months and moved into his place. then at the end of the 4 months, my subletter left and we both ended our leases and got a new place together. that was about a year and a half ago. I think the fact that I knew if it wasn’t working I could always go back to my old place helped me get over any mental block I had. we also are on the older side (I’m 30s and he’s 40s), which might be part of the reason we moved more quickly. In any case, it can’t hurt to broach the subject with your boyfriend and see what makes sense for you!

      • the other thing I will add about our situation is that we knew each other casually for like 8 years prior to starting dating and had many many mutual friends, so that added a layer of trust as well.

      • PDleftMtP

        I was VERY slow to live together/get married and I agree with this. I’d just say ‘don’t force it.’ You don’t want the issue to be whether it’s too soon as opposed to whether you should be together. Raise it, and if it needs to percolate, let it percolate. At the other end of the spectrum (I was in my 40s going into our marriage, first for both), my brother married his high school girlfriend and they have an awesome life. There is no should, just what works for the two of you.

    • My then-boyfriend and I moved in after about 9 months of mostly long distance dating. I was only 22 at the time and this all sounds crazy in retrospect but it worked out really well! We went into it with solid plans for chores, finances, and what-if-we-break-up.

  • Revel: that sign
    Revel: kiddos have specials early because of testing and I already have my planning done since I worked on it yesterday
    Revel: great feedback from the reading specialist yesterday
    Rant: mean teachers
    Revel: Finished up week 3 of couch to 5k!

  • Rant – The stupidly expensive t-shirt I bought from Madewell already has a hole in it and I’ve only worn it twice. That’s what I get for spending a lot of money a t-shirt. But it was so soft and draped in the best way and the perfect color… sigh. Back to Target I go for my tees.
    Rant – Terrible night’s sleep lead to a terrible run this morning.
    Rave – At least the weather is nice! Felt awesome to be outside.

    • Pixie, I’m sorry to say this, but I have bad news about Target tees.
      Their fitted women’s tees have been a staple of mine for YEARSs. I was looking to re-up my supply recently, as I haven’t bought any in a while and some of my current stash need to be demoted to “wear only around the house” status.
      Apparently Target changed the fabric breakdown to have WAY more artificial fibers, AND the shirt now hangs differently or is not opaque enough or something. Maybe 90% of the user reviews were from disappointed customers bemoaning the loss of their staple.

      • Ugh noooo! I appreciate the warning, but dang that sucks. My Target tees usually last years, too. I’m going to look into Uniqlo.

        • I really like Uniqlo tees! I used to be a big fan of Gap tees but they switched over to a tight stretchy material that I don’t love.

        • Let me know what you think of the Uniqlo tees — I’m going to have to find a new supplier now that Target is no longer an option.

    • HaileUnlikely

      “Madewell,” eh?

    • Definitely at least try to get your money back. Wouldn’t surprise me if Madewell stood by their stuff.

  • Accountering

    Rant/Rave: Everything I have ever said about Philadelphia and its sports fans is true. What a bunch of classless low-lifes. Happy to dump these losers from the play-offs on Wednesday. They celebrated their long-time owner who passed by giving out bracelets, and then when the team was losing, and after a massive cheapshot against a capital, they threw them on the ice. It was essentially 20,000 adults having a temper tantrum. I would expect nothing better from Philadelphia fans (and they met my expectations!)
    Rave: We are up 3-0!

    • I promise you there are a few (albeit a minority) Philadelphians and Philadelphia sports fans who aren’t classless low-lifes. I am frequently embarrassed by my hometown, and I’m sorry many of us are grade-A jerks. But I swear, there are a few nice ones out there!

    • yes, all of Philadelphia is like that .
      I don’t even know what team you’re talking about, so there ya go. All hardcore sports fans are fairly obnoxious IMO

    • When the hometown announcer admonishes the fans to “have some class,” things have gotten out of hand.

      • They have to warn the crowd before the refs can hand out a delay of game.
        They’ve always been classless. If game 4 starts to go the way of game 3 with a mounting lead fairly early on, it’s going to be a lot worse.
        The 7-0 Emery thrashes Holtby debacle was regular season, so I don’t have a lot of faith for them keeping it together in the post season, on their dying breath.

    • It took me a while to figure out “They celebrated their long-time owner who passed by giving out bracelets, and then when the team was losing, and after a massive cheapshot against a capital, they threw them on the ice.” Originally it sounded as though the owner was passing out bracelets to fans and that a person or people were being thrown onto the ice. πŸ˜‰

  • Rave: The little monster did surprisingly well during a whirlwind day trip to meet and visit the grandparents.
    Rant: Divorced parents meant no time to see friends.
    Rave: gorgeous sunny weather

  • rave: wow this weather is fantastic
    rant: unhappy with my job, I’ve been thinking about finding a career counselor or something like that to maybe help figure my career track out. Anyone ever do anything like that or have an alternative to trying to figure out what I would enjoy more without trashing my career?

    • If you think you are in the wrong career (vs. the wrong job within a career), I did some aptitude testing to get an idea of what other types of careers I should be thinking of. It wasn’t cheap, but really gave me some insights into what I’m good at, what type of work environment would work best for me, and some career paths to think about. I did it through Ability Potentials (google them – they’re in Fairfax). You do a half day of testing, then about a 2-hour review with their counselor. If you need more than that, they will refer you to a career counselor.

    • I found the book “Do What You Are” by Tieger to be immensely helpful

  • Rave: Caps win last night! Wow! Nice to be on the non-embarrassing side of an embarrassing playoff game for once.
    whispered rave: baby only woke to eat once last night. trying not get my hopes up that it indicates a pattern change πŸ™‚
    Rant: anxiety about spending lots of time with my parents this weekend. The visits always go fine, but the anticipation of what could go wrong sucks.
    Rant: usually I’m big on spending time with family, but these days I kind of just want to manage the daily routine, the random stuff that keeps popping up with the house, and time with my kids. not looking forward to balancing kids’ needs with upcoming non-kid-friendly events for my cousin’s wedding. blargh.

    • Events? As in more than one? Can you not just go to the wedding ceremony? That ship may have sailed if you already agreed to things for which you presence is integral, but I think having kids is a perfectly good reason to not go to non-kid-friendly events.

      • Wedding is this fall, and just got an invite to the bridal shower yesterday. I knew it would be in NJ where my cousin & her parents live, but was surprised that it will be at a restaurant. Kids aren’t invited, which I’m not surprised by, but was hoping it would be at my aunt’s house so that the kids could hang out elsewhere (it’s a huge house) with my wife & I taking turns hanging out with them/at the shower. It’s still a couple of months away so there’s time to decide. There are just some weird family dynamics going on right now (real or perceived) that make things a bit awkward.

        • I’d skip it. it sounds like you don’t really want to go, and having an infant and toddler is more than enough justification to decline.

        • Weird family dynamics? Your kids and wife are your family first and foremost. It’s quite alright if you choose them over a bridal shower for a cousin.

        • I’m curious about how they expressed that the wedding is not kid-friendly. Did the method go over well? Our wedding will be adults only but I’m not sure how to relay that information. Most of my friends with kids actually pushed for it because they want to go to a wedding without their kids who usually are flower girls/ring bearers. We’re only inviting one person who will have an issue with the whole no kids thing so I’m wondering how to tactfully present the information. Oh and fwiw, I totally agree with Anonymous at 1:38 on skipping the shower!

          • If people understand wedding etiquette it’s conveyed on the invitation. Our wedding was not kid-friendly and there wasn’t a spot on the invitation for a kid or third person. So the wedding invitation was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. PoPville. We had a small wedding though and there were probably only 3-4 couples where they’d bring their kids. We didn’t have any issues.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Assume at your own risk that guests will all be up to speed on how to read what isn’t there on a wedding invitation. Knowing the people who you are inviting will give you some clues as to whether such assumptions are reasonably safe. In my experience, some guests understand that sort of thing, some know enough to realize that they don’t know and may ask you whether it is ok to bring their kids, and some will simply assume that of course their kids are invited.

          • justinbc

            Our party was held the day after our (closed) ceremony, and the invite said specifically 21+, and our website had links to DC area baby sitter type sites for out of town guests. It was also at a brewery, and we made it very clear that it wasn’t the type of thing to brings kids to. As far as how it was received, can’t say, didn’t get any complaints but that’s also not the sort of thing someone would say to your face usually.

          • justinbc

            If you want info from our exact invites and website (I don’t recall the specific wording) get my email from Dan and I’ll forward it along.

          • Our wedding was adults only. We addressed each envelope purposefully with people’s names, as did Formerly ParkViewRes. We also asked our moms/sisters to spread the word discreetly among our families (who were the most likely to have small kids) and only heard one subtle grumble about it. I’m not sure if other people were offended or annoyed, but I don’t care that much πŸ™‚ We also welcomed kids at the day-after brunch which was cheaper and less formal.

          • Thanks all, this is helpful. We don’t have too many friends or family members with kids – just my uncle who will probably be grumbly about it but will get over it. Though, we also have a lot of friends who are definitely not up on etiquette so we may need to spell it out on the wedding website… Justin, I’ll follow up with you.

  • Rave: Gorgeous weather! Finally coming out of my winter doldrums!
    Rant: Being treated like crap by cashier at C. Heights Target – WHY so rude?! Seriously, why is it when you bring your own bags it becomes a self service/get the heck out of my lane ASAP situation?
    Rave: Found some really interesting jobs I want to apply for
    Rant: Was recruited for and Just started a new job a couple of months ago—I’m not a serial job hopper I swear!

    • Oh man – I’ve gotten so much ‘tude when I bring my own bag to the CoHi Target. Instead of taking my bag into the bag area directly off the belt, they’ll usually just start stacking stuff on the tiny shelf by the cc swipe machine, forcing me to pack the bag on the ground and try to pay/sign at the same time. I’ve gotten to the point of reaching over the counter and putting my bag where it’s logical to load and then they either load it like any other target bag after some huffing and puffing or I awkwardly put the things they’ve stacked on the tiny shelf into the bag.

      • This is such an odd phenomenon. I always bring my own bag and I go to target roughly every other week, and have never once had this problem. Do I just not go often enough? Or are the cashiers nicer in the morning? Idk…

    • One more reason I dislike the Columbia Heights Target and dread going there.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: stayed up too late and then didn’t sleep well, so tire today.
    Rave: wearing sandals for the first time this year!

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