Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

dc_neighborhood_news_popville
Photo by PoPville flickr user nevermindtheend

You can talk about whatever is on your mind โ€“ quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct peopleโ€™s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

195 Comment

  • anonymouse_dianne

    I have two tickets to see The Champions at Mazza Gallery tonight at 7 pm if anyone wants to join me. It is the story of the Vicktory dogs and Best Friends and others that helped save them. I have met some of these people and dogs IRL. The benefits go to Wash Humane. For additional tix look under events on the Wash Humane website.

  • Rant: Rasika is overpriced and overrated. Yeah, they pull off the hyped spinach chaat thing well, and many of the dishes are reasonably well executed, but I’ve had two decidedly meh experiences there. Just don’t see why this place is so packed when Indian food of equal caliber and half the price is available elsewhere.

    • where would you recommend instead?

      • if you’re OK driving, not the same “nice” restaurant style, but Saravana Palace in Fairfax is AMAZING. Eat your face off, then walk it off at Wegmans around the corner. Perfect weekend day!

        • Accountering

          Yeah I am not going to Fairfax.

          • then you’re not going to get good Indian food other than Rasika. We weren’t regular Virginia go-ers but intentionally made a point to go to Saravana Palace it’s that good. Being stubborn about the suburbs guarantees a lack of some really great ethnic eats. I’m sure you’re “better” than NoVa/Rockville, but the food is great and authentic.

          • Accountering

            Definitely not “better” I just don’t want to go there haha. I fully accept I am missing out on delicious ethnic food from Annandale and Rockville.

      • @mtpresident. I don’t know of any grand slam home run Indian places in this area, but Bombay Bistro in Rockville is not expensive and solid, and the food is just as satisfying as Rasika. For South Indian, try Woodlands in Langley Park. Again, it’s not like Rasika is awful or anything, just way too expensive nd hyped.

        • Accountering

          Yikes, responded to J used to be in DC too soon, I am not going to Rockville either.

          • I like Jyoti in Adams Morgan, but am always on the lookout for other great Indian places. There are a couple of great places in Takoma Park on University Blvd that I miss from when I lived in College Park, but those are too far away for me most of the time too.

          • Accountering

            That’s legit – I think this is a to each their own situation. I have zero interest in voluntarily going to the burbs, and Rasika is delicious to me, so I will happily venture on down.

          • MtPresident – Woodlands isn’t far, but I never understood the hype. Wasn’t THAT good. Saravana Palace is worth the drive. Rasika is great, but you can be STUFFED at saravana palace for like $25 for two people. Glad I was never snobbish about a trip to the burbs so I could enjoy that place while I lived in DC. hidden gem for sure.

          • Accountering

            What is with this snobbish bit? I just dont want to spend my limited free time in a car fighting traffic to get out to Fairfax. I don’t think that is snobbish in the least…

          • Fairfax and Rockville are a pretty easy drive for a Saturday or Sunday evening dinner. Worth it for some of the great ethnic food!

          • HaileUnlikely

            Starting from the position of not having a car, Fairfax and Rockville don’t make a lot of sense. By the time I pay for a rental or taxi or Uber, the totality of the experience would end up costing me more than going to Rasika even if the food was free.

          • I agree with Hailie and Accountering on this one. I love the ethnic food options in NoVA but often it is just not realistic to get out there for one reason or another (search costs are costs, too). Not snobbish, just personal preference.)

          • +1 for not going to the burbs. If I have an evening to spend on a meal out, I don’t want to spend half of it in a car. Much prefer a leisurely stroll through neighborhoods I don’t see every day. To call that snobbery betrays one’s own insecurities.
            Oh, and Salt & Pepper Grill is not bad, if you’re looking for delivery. A little greasy, and a little overpriced for the quality, but pretty tasty.

          • HaileUnlikely

            That said, I totally get why somebody might want good Indian food for lower prices than Rasika. I’m not made out of money. I have eaten at Rasika exactly once, on the evening of my engagement. I would go there for special occasions, but for me, it is certainly not an “I want to eat Indian food…yeah…that’s where I’ll go” sort of place.

      • anonymouse_dianne

        I like Masala Art. I have only been to the one in SW near Arena Stage. There is also one in Tenleytown. They have a great happy hour from 4:30 – 7 daily. Appetizers are $5 and craft beer is $4.

      • I’m a fan of Indique in Cleveland Park.

    • I’ve always loved Rasika but the last time I went there the food was way too salty, I couldn’t even finish my dinner. I was so disappointed.

    • Disagree! SO GOOD. I’m super happy at all the amazing Indian food where we live now, but I still miss Rasika. I was there in December, sat at the bar, it was amazing.

    • Disagree on both counts. I’ve only been once, but we ordered a LOT. All the most-hyped dishes plus some personal favorites. Everything was better than I expected it to be, and we spent less than $60 per person.
      I’m mentally comparing the experience to my most recent night out, a mediocre meal with truly terrible service at that “celebrity” chef place B Too for over $80 per person.

    • i went there twice. First tme I would have agreed with you on the overrated part. 2nd time I would have disagreed with you completely. Unless theyv’e jacked up the prices in the last year, I found them to be pretty reasonable price wise, given the service and quality of the food. I think they should make their menu shorter, since there are some stand-outs, but there seem to be some pretty average dishes too.

  • rant_1: i’m sick. coworkers keep telling me i should go home, but i have too much to do and have a meeting i need to attend in person before i work from home for the afternoon. i can’t tell if they are worried i’ll get them sick or if they just see that i feel horrible and think i should be at home; either way, i am tired of being nagged.
    .
    rant_2: i really, really wanted an everything bagel as a treat (also to eat my feelings). so i walked in this awful wind to Panera only to find out they were out of everything bagels and had to fight back tears because i just felt so defeated with everything else that’s going on. also because it’s been forever since i’ve been to eastern market and DC Donuts are my absolute favorite thing in the world, and i went on sunday with the sole intent to get donuts and they weren’t there. this croissant that is not an everything bagel just opened a fresh wound.

    • Do you need to attend that meeting if they keep telling you to go home? Not to sound like a super unsympathetic nag myself, but there are few things I find more annoying than a sick co-worker who is coughing/sniffing all over the place. Not only do I worry about the rest of the office getting sick but it makes it more difficult for people to focus on their work!

      • sadly, i do need to attend. i am at in our team’s office on client site and the meeting is at our company HQ. i do understand where you (and possibly my coworkers) are coming from, but the circumstances don’t allow for much movement today. that said, i may go to our HQ and work from there just to avoid the situation here.

    • yeah sorry not sorry i would be nagging you to go home too. not fair to the others in the office who also don’t want to be sick. not saying your meeting isnt important and if you gotta be there, you gotta be there. but no theres no room to be be upset with coworkers for telling you to go home.

    • In my experience, the people most vocal about telling others to go home are the least likely to call out when they have the plague. (I may be very bitter still about my coworker who thinks I need to go home because of allergies, but who comes in when she is a seeping mess of mucus.)
      I do think it’s awful that we have this obligated feeling of martyrdom that keeps us from calling out because it is true that others can get sick, but it’s the current culture we have and you’re already there. Make it through the meeting and go home.
      I hope you feel better!

    • Accountering

      I would send you home, in a not optional way. The office is not a place to bring your germs and such when you feel gross. Especially to be meeting with clients and others, and getting your colleagues sick. If your coworkers are “nagging” you, it sounds like you should be at home.

    • Wow, popville is not very sympathetic today. Sorry you are sick and hope you feel better soon! I also completely get the disappointment over no everything bagels/donuts being there when you need them. Sometimes you just look forward to a treat so much as a small reward during a shitty moment and then you can’t have it and it adds insult to injury. Definitely go get an everything bagel soon to make up for it — it’ll be extra delicious after the wait!

  • Rant: Guy on the bus this morning that felt like he could take up two seats when there were *no* more seats on the bus. Then rolled his eyes, sighed, and moved his bag out of the window seat but not his body when I asked if I could sit down. Then proceeded to call me a cunt for swiping him with my bag as I tried to get into the seat. Normally I’d issue an apology but instead I told him I felt bad for whatever women had to work with him today.
    .
    Rave: Kind woman who works in my building who approached me when we got off the bus to tell me not to let him ruin my day, and agreed that if he wanted a private seat, he shouldn’t be taking public transportation.
    .
    Rant: Work. I wish I could be happy at work. I really really really want to be. But I just cannot create projects out of thin air for myself. I have tried. Even when I’m assigned something, it’s almost never looked at or recognized. Plus, my only co-worker is leaving so I’ll be taking on her work (which she has always been quick to point out I’m doing wrong in process, even when the outcome is efficient and exactly the same as if she had done it).

    • On your first rant – I think you handled that situation with aplomb! It would have taken everything in me not to spit in that guy’s face if I’d have been in your shoes. Ugh. People just suck.

      • Thanks, LBP. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel like bursting into tears for the rest of the 20 minute bus ride whether or not it was warranted. But it’s over.

        • phl2dc

          I bow down to you. You handled it very well. I, on the other hand, would have likely started a fight. He was an inconsiderate jerk and had the nerve to call you a cunt. Them’s fightin’ words.

    • Were you on the S1 this morning around 7:45?

      • Hah! Alas I was. At first I felt like a huge jerk, but I am really sick of witnessing people with a complete lack of manners or respect in this city and having those people not speak up for themselves. I’ve kind of put my foot down.

        • “those people” being the people who run into the jerky people.

          • Haha I was sitting in the row next to you! (I’m the one that screamed “back door!” loudly) I saw what happened but I did not hear him say cunt or I would have said something myself. Unacceptable. High five for calling him a jerk ๐Ÿ™‚ I did hear that!

          • OH! You DO have amazing projection! Hahahahaha! I thought that was great!
            And thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

          • phl2dc

            I love that you guys were on the same bus!!!

    • Anonynon

      You seem to get into a lot of altercations on the bus lol seems like you handled this one appropriately

      • maxwell smart

        The S-line is not for the faint of heart.

        • Anonynon

          I ride the S-Line ๐Ÿ™‚

          • But I agree with *** that it is not for the faint of heart. I miss my old 30s line buses sometimes.

        • Anonynon

          Its better if you catch the S-line higher up (after 16th and Euclid) the bus is usually packed until U street where people get off, but then it gets packed again. If you try to get on between these two stops, I’m sure its pretty frustrating and lots of full busses blowing by.

          • maxwell smart

            I get on at 16th and Military. The S9 is always jam-packed, which is pretty amazing since it’s only made 3 stops from it’s origin point. The S1, 2 and 4 usually fare no better. I can’t actually remember that last time I was able to sit on a S bus.

          • It depends on when you leave, too. I usually get on the bus around 7:15 or 7:20, and that one always has a few seats open, but one whizzed past while I was stuck on the other side of the street today. And then I had to wait another 15ish minutes for what I will now call the “grumpy bus.”

          • I live on the lower end of the S bus, so I can never take it in the morning – I take the 14th St bus in the morning, which shows how bad 16th Street is. In the afternoon I am able to get the S at Federal Triangle, very near its origin, when it’s still mostly empty. I learned early on to get a seat near the back door or else it can be very difficult to get to the door when my stop comes up. I learned my lesson by missing my stop a couple of times because I couldn’t push my way through the crowd to get off.

    • Great comeback to the guy! I am impressed. (Sorry you had to deal with a big jerk, though.)
      .
      And I dig your Rave.

    • Awesome retort, he sounds like a douchebag.
      .
      A young woman got annoyed when I asked her this morning to move her large, over-stuffed LV tote off the bus seat so I could sit down. Eye roll and terse “sorry” included. I giggle with glee when that happens.
      ATTN world: you don’t get to take up two seats during the peak of rush hour on buses and trains headed into downtown. Don’t haul so much crap into the office everyday if you can’t handle it on your commute #commonsense

  • Rant: Feeling so frustrated with my nurse coordinator right now. What’s the point of contacting her to schedule time-sensitive tests if she doesn’t respond? And this was during their office hours. I’m still waiting for a call back from mid-afternoon yesterday.
    Rant: The whole scheduling debacle had me up in the middle of the night panicking.
    Rave: The other Mrs. Rabbit once again being the calming force in my life.

    • Ugh, that process is such a pain in the butt. Some nurses are better than others–can you switch to someone more reliable? I found that I had to go through the Bethesda office of my clinic (despite only going to the DC office) to have more reliable office & nursing staff.

      • We decided against using SGF this time around so we’re stuck with a single office. I left another message this morning. I’m about ready to go over my nurse’s head and just call the front admin to schedule the appointment myself.

        • Ah, gotcha. I only have experience with CFA–and was considering switching at one point in the process because so much was such a hassle. Unfortunately, it seems to be endemic among this type of provider.

          • I never really had that issue with GW, FWIW

          • We’re actually using GW this time around. We found out that they are really short staffed at the moment which is why it’s almost impossible to get my nurse on the phone. While I’m still annoyed that I haven’t heard back in 24 hours, it’s more understandable now.

  • Does Popville think that it’s better to gut renovate an outdated (1950s), but functional, master bathroom or finish an unfinished basement? Trying to decide which project to tackle next.

    • Assuming this is just for you/your family, I’d finish the basement first – it gives you new usable space. But I’d keep the master on the list – maybe that can be next year’s project? But if you’re looking to sell soon, I’d do the bathroom.

    • Andie302

      What would you be doing with the basement once it’s renovated? If the basement is just for personal use, I’d prioritize the bathroom. If my basement was going to create some return on investment, then I’d prioritize the basement. If you plan to do both before you ever sell, then the order doesn’t much matter. Just my personal opinion!

    • Basement, definitely. Bathroom is functional, basement is not. And when you finish the basement, you’ll probably add a 3/4 bath, right? So you’ll have that ready to go when you tear out your master bath.

      • Yeah, basement will add a 3/4 bathroom and be used as a place for kids. If we have a bunch of people staying over, then we’d have an extra space for people to sleep too.

        I’m starting to lean towards basement.

        • You have kids? Basement, no brainer. A place to banish them and all their crap is a vital sanity saver! Also, that extra bathroom might get more use than you think. My husband doesn’t even use our upstairs bathroom anymore. He doesn’t have to find space for his stuff among the bath toys and makeup and assorted bubblemint toothpastes, and I don’t have to deal with beard trimmings. ๐Ÿ™‚

          • Andie302

            +1 – I was thinking of this as a “you’re used to not having a basement” but if you’ve got kids, that makes total sense to finish an additional space, especially if you’re adding a bath and that makes the master bathroom reno easier down the line!

    • Basement. I’d add a new functional space before tackling something that is already functional but only suffers from ugliness. That said, if you’re hiring contractors you may be able to negotiate a better deal if they do it all at once.

    • Bathroom first!
      I was also deciding bathroom vs basement two years ago. I decided on bathroom first because I wanted a nice bathroom before I wanted a nice basement, and because I could only do one major project that year.

  • Rave: My unseemly glee at the total dysfunction of the GOP establishment and party apparatus is leavened by the unpleasant realization that . . .
    Rant: Donald Trump is going to be the Republican candidate for President of the United States.

    • The very thought of him being this close to the White House chills me to the core. I just…can’t….deal

    • Anonynon

      Hillary isn’t any better….I think people are quick to forget about all the recent ‘scandals’. I personally don’t trust either party or candidate and am waiting for a 3rd party dark horse to enter the race. #disenfranchised

      • Hillary isn’t any better than Trump??? Just by virtue of not being an outright racist, she would be better.

        • Anonynon

          They are both BAD. Bad for the American people…bad for the future. Bad for any sort of meaningful change in our country. The status quo. The 1%. Vomit.

          • the biggest hurdle to meaningful change in this country is Citizens United and gerrymandering.

          • This election is about the stagnation of real wages and the dismantlement of the middle class by both the GOP and Democrats. This is 40 years of chickens coming home to roost. Trump and Sanders supporters ultimately see the same problems and want the same thing – the restoration of the Middle Class. They just differ on how to achieve it and who gets to share in that dream.

          • Interesting. So who would you vote for?

      • 1) i hope youre kidding about hillary not being better than trump. I echo what textdoc said. she doesn’t pander to anger and hate as trump does. did you see the video from louisville last night at the trump rally???? that would never happen in a clinton rally. and if the KKK was endorsing her she sure as hell wouldn’t put off speaking out against it. 2) if a conservative third party candidate comes along…great. if a third party liberal comes along we’re screwed. #votebluenomatterwho

      • I’m not a Clinton fan, but I’d call a couple decades experience in all levels of governance “better” than a sociopath whose principal skill is losing his inheritance slowly enough that people still think he’s rich.

      • Even if you find Hillary tiresomely incrementalist and too closely tied to Wall Street, you have to balance that against a party that would systematically dismantle all restraints on Wall Street, purposely redistribute wealth from the middle class to the wealthy, savage safety net programs, gut Social Security, take health care away from literally tens of millions of people, go to war at the drop of a hat, oppose any further steps towards racial or gender equality (repealing them if possible) and use racism and sexism for political ends. The idea that Hillary and the Republicans are equivalent (while understandable on some level — like Trump’s appeal to working class whites) is fundamentally ignorant and dangerous.

        • jim_ed

          +1 to all of this. You think we would’ve learned this lesson in 2000 when people said the same thing about Gore/Bush. As if Gore would’ve started the Iraq war and the fallout of hundreds of thousands of dead people, billions of dollars wasted, and foreign policy issues it’ll take another century to finally solve.
          .
          I’m less than enthusiastic about Hillary, but to say there’s no difference between her and Trump is disingenuous at best and delusional idiocy at worst.

      • Accountering

        Hahaha, the ignorance of some Sanders supporters is really frustrating. To make a comment that Hillary and Trump are equivalent is so ridiculous it barely even warrants a response. To be so blinded in your love for a democratic candidate, that you compare the other democratic candidate (keeping in mind a Republican congress, so any grand ideas by either are DOA) to Donald Trump is downright scary. I award you the dummy of the day award.

        • Anonynon isn’t a Sanders supporter — he’s a Rand Paul supporter.

        • I have seen exactly this amongst my liberal friends… posting things that demonize Hillary in an attempt to forward Sanders as the more qualified candidate. It just boggles my mind. I am super liberal, but I’m also pragmatic. Let’s just all recognize that Hillary will be the nominee and move on as a party.

        • One of my former High School teachers posted on Facebook on how he won’t be voting for Hillary if she wins. Like I get that he supports Bernie, but really? Of all the people who should no better it would be a teacher. Just because he teaches high schoolers doesn’t mean he should be acting like one if he doesn’t get his way.

          • …so people shouldn’t vote against a candidate they don’t like? i don’t get your thinking.

    • For me it’s ABC – Anyone But Cruz. So hateable, so punchable. Go Trump, given the seemingly lone GOP alternative at this point.

      • I think that Trump would be the more embarrassing president, but in terms of who would be more systematically evil, Cruz is indeed the biggest threat.

      • Accountering

        He easily has the most punchable face in America.

        • +1000
          Did you read the Matt Taibbi article from last week. SO GOOD:
          “The unwelcome attention seemed to scare Cruz back into scripted-bot mode, where he’s a less-than-enthralling presence. Cruz in person is almost physically repellent. Psychology Today even ran an article by a neurology professor named Dr. Richard Cytowic about the peculiarly off-putting qualities of Cruz’s face.
          .
          He used a German term, backpfeifengesicht, literally “a face in need of a good punch,” to describe Cruz. This may be overstating things a little. Cruz certainly has an odd face โ€“ it looks like someone sewed pieces of a waterlogged Reagan mask together at gunpoint…”

    • As conservative commentator David Brooks put it on last night’s PBS Newshour: “[T]he fact that [. . .] a bigoted buffoon may get the nomination of a major party is sort of a big deal.”

      • Everytime somebody quotes David Brooks, God kills a kitten.

        • Seriously? Honestly, if all conservatives were like David Brooks, the country wouldn’t be so polarized.

          • +1, textdoc. I disagree with David Brooks on a lot, but he’s respectful and serious-minded, not a bloviating blowhard or a far-right evangelical. Reasonable people can disagree without kitten dying.

          • David Brooks has pretty much all but admitted that he doesn’t belong in the GOP. His views would firmly put him squarely in the Democratic Party nowadays. He and Joe Lieberman would be peas in a pod.

          • Disagreed, OP Anon. Yes, there’s not much of a place for David Brooks in today’s GOP… but that’s because the party has moved rightward and there’s not much room for moderates left — especially those who are fiscally conservative but don’t embrace today’s Republican party’s stance on hot-button social issues.
            .
            His views are essentially conservative, but the rest of the party is even more conservative (and far less gracious).

  • Rant: Tempted to get together with my mom buddies tonight, but not sure about the potential loss of sleep from getting home late. Would be great to see them, but also need to protect my sleep. Argh.
    Rant: downside of potty training is that the potty turns into a delaying tactic, both at bedtime & when it’s time to leave the house. Oy.
    Rave: Morning routine seems to be gelling a bit better.
    Rave: While I forgot to run through the checklist before leaving the house, I did NOT forget my phone this morning! Woot!

  • Rave: Long catch up phone call with my best friend last night. Differences in time zones and crazy work schedules cannot keep us apart.
    Rant: Partner experiencing some work stress not of his making. Trying my best to be supportive.
    Rave: Making ginger and green onion meatballs with soba noodles for dinner tonight. Yum.
    Rave: Massage scheduled for this evening. I cannot wait.
    Rave: Thank you notes completed and mailed.

  • Rant: night filled with bizarre nightmares, tossing and turning, and very little actual good sleep.
    Rave: At least it’s sunny out?
    Question: Is it possible for feelings to develop for someone when you are just not at all attracted to them? I don’t want to prematurely cut a possible relationship off, but I also don’t want to lead someone on, at least in the short term….Is it better to just tell them “Hey, you’re fun to hang out with but I don’t see this going anywhere romantic right now?” Or should you try to see if there’s a spark? Just want to be sure I’m giving people a fair chance…
    Rant: App-based dating / dating attempts is weird.

    • Re: your question – was in that boat recently, but after 3ish weeks and several dates, realized it just wasn’t going to happen. If anything at all, app-based dating has taught me to just go with my gut feeling from the get go – if I’m not totally feeling it or interested at first, it’s usually not going to work out! Good luck…it’s definitely not a fun process!

      • yeah, it’s fun for maybe the first or second date, and then it does start feeling like “Ok, time to get serious and make some decisions!” Which is dumb, but that’s how I start feeling!

        • It’s not dumb. You can usually tell whether you want to continue spending time (in a romantic context) with a person after a few dates. And often you can rule them out after a single date.
          .
          I once declined a third date with a friend of a friend because although he was really nice, I just wasn’t attracted to him. I thought, “What if he tries to kiss me at the end of the date? Am I going to duck??”… and that made me decide that it wouldn’t be fair to him to go through with a third date.

          • +1 and the visual of you ducking during a kiss attempt is pretty funny!

          • anonymouse_dianne

            I actually ducked when my high school boyfriend tried to kiss me the first time! And I was quite attracted to him ๐Ÿ˜‰

        • ha! That is helpful, textdoc! I guess if the question of “what am I going to do if they try to kiss me?!” stirs up feelings of panic and the urge to run, then that answers my question!

          • Lol, I used the same thought a couple months ago. I felt bad, but really, I know in the moment I would freak and that would be worse than breaking things off.
            Luckily this guy was super nice, honest, and communicative. He momentarily gave me confidence that this whole dating thing wasn’t a long slog of crap.
            Now I’m back to long slog of crap ๐Ÿ™

    • Is there any room for just seeing where things go? If you enjoy hanging out and he enjoys hanging out, there’s no need to rush the romance.

      • I’m in no rush, but I sort of get the feeling the other person is. And it is a dating app, after all, not a “find a friend” app, so I can understand if a guy doesn’t want to just hang out. I just feel no spark and don’t want to lead someone on…but then you hear stories of people who were great friends and then just one day realized they loved each other, blah blah blah….ugh.

        • Yeah, but aren’t those stories about friends who weren’t dating each other, but were hanging out as friends the whole time?
          .
          I think if you’ve been on multiple dates with this guy and you’re still not feeling any chemistry (especially if there’s been any smooching, etc.), it’s unlikely to happen.

        • Sadly, I have no advice for you, I just wanted to say that it I’ve been there, as have many others, and it sucks. It’s crumby because you do hear those stories and maybe you could be friends with this person and later something happens. But, I’m also a total flight person, not a fight person, so as soon as I feel awkward about leading someone else on, I’m out of there super fast. But on the flip side, I get annoyed when guys cut out too soon when they had seemed interested.
          It all sucks. All of it. I’m sorry it sucks for you and I’m sorry I am not in any position to be positive about it.

          • Thanks, jeslett – and textdoc – i appreciate the feedback. Glad to know I’m not the only one who finds this all rather confusing!

        • Ah, well, if he seems to be rushing then I would just call it a day. It’s one thing if you’re both on the same page, but if you’re not then it becomes unfair. I say follow you’re gut. On to the next one!

    • Been there. I liked someone as a person but not romantically & after 3 dates I told him that. We’re friends now, and it’s not weird at all when we meet up and hangout. He’s a really good person but sometimes you just know there’s no romantic feelings and it’s better to end it than to lead someone on. Be honest. They should appreciate it. Best of luck in the dating world. I’m slowly getting back at it. It’s weird.

    • This totally happened to me and I think for some people those feelings can develop, I certainly know friends who that happened for. That was not the case for me. I found a guy who checked all the right boxes and did everything I thought I wanted in a BF. He was great. But I just didn’t feel it with him. I thought something was wrong with me and it was just my anxiety so I kept at it for quite a few dates. Finally I realized that I wasn’t feeling the same chemistry as he was and at that point it was so awkward to let him down and I didn’t treat him as well as he deserved. To this day, I hope he met someone that was a better match and treated him better than I did. It was one of the most confusing experiences in my dating life. I met my spouse a few months later and we had chemistry right from the get go, and even though my anxiety almost got the better of me in that relationship, I kept pushing to make it work because I really liked him and didn’t want to lose him. Dating can be so confusing and tough sometimes, especially in these situations.

    • As a person who used app based dating and found a lot of success (i.e., meaningful relationships), what I liked about it is that it gets the superficial “Am I attracted to this person?” question out of the way immediately. I’m not wasting my time if I’m not – at the very least – physically attracted to the person. There’s no point in “giving someone a chance” if that magnetic attraction isn’t there. This isn’t something you can wait out.
      That’s my brutally honest take on the matter. And I think my thoughts align with most straight men who use the apps.

      • I guess I’m not doing a good enough job at screening people out, then – I’ll “like” or swipe right or whatever on a guy who, maybe from pics, doesn’t do it for me, but he says something in his profile that seems funny or sweet or whatever, and I think “Well, I should give this guy a chance.” but then we meet in person and it’s nice but I’m like, “yeah, no, not attracted.” Or he shows up and he’s 20-30 lbs heavier than his profile pics. Or something like that. I don’t want to be superficial, and lord knows I’m not exactly a 10 (pushing a 6, on a good day, probably), but I’m not, at least initially, feeling it with these guys. ๐Ÿ™

        • I think you do yourself and the hypothetical guy a favor if you screen out those you’re not attracted to. Why waste your precious time? I’m not talking about “hot,” but at the very least I to find the person to be “cute” or “attractive.” And a good personality and fun chemistry can instantly turn a “cute” person into “damn sexy!” Meanwhile, a “hot” person can go to “Hellz no!” very quickly if they are a terrible person.
          But seriously, don’t waste your time with people you’re not initially attracted to. No amount of funny quips will make me feel romantic towards them if my gut instinct isn’t there. Like you said, these are not friend finding apps.

        • I’m really curious if guys have that feeling of not wanting to be superficial. I’m doubting it. If you’re willing to be coupled with someone who lies (putting up old pics) or you don’t find attractive, then I guess keep doing what you’re doing, but it doesn’t seem like you want that scenario.

        • Funny story… I swiped right for a guy because one of his pictures was him and his kid, and being a single parent myself, knowing he would get a lot of left swipers just for that in this city, I kinda felt bad for him. I thought he was cute, but wasn’t overly attracted, so it really was a sympathy swipe. We ended up messaging, then texting for a few weeks. Again, I wasn’t particularly overwhelmed thinking we had much chemistry… in fact I was talking to another guy at the time who I felt more chemistry with. Then we (finally) went on a first date and it was like magic…. it’ll be two years at the end of the month. So, sometimes screening isn’t all it’s chalked up to be. Sometimes you just have to take a risk, broaden those horizons a little, and see what happens.
          Also, you’re full of shit about the 6 thing :p

          • Gah! See, this is why I’ll occasionally swipe right or whatever on guys I’m not initially attracted to because I feel like they still could have something to offer! You’re getting me all confused again!

          • LBP, do what you’re comfortable with.
            That said, please recognize that 99 out of 100 guys who agree to go out on a date with you already think you’re attractive. Guys don’t ask out women they don’t find attractive; generally, we don’t “give them a chance” the same way women do with men. Men do a lot less window shopping. So you’re probably going to find yourself in the same situation again. Break things off as soon as your lack of attraction is clear.

          • Funny story. My wife and I met when we were in our early 20s through mutual friends and had no attraction to each other. None. She moved to a different city a couple years later and we saw each other off and on over the years, again through mutual friends, and still nothing. Then 12 years after we first met, we end up seeing each other again and–boom–stars fly. We’ve been together ever since, 17 years now, 11 of them married. So yeah, sometimes attraction isn’t instant.

          • Maybe play it somewhere in between? I mean, I was attracted to him, it just wasn’t an overwhelming attraction. Now I think he’s just about the hottest thing around, but that’s because I’m head over heels in love lol. Just saying, attraction can and does grow (and diminish) over time. Anonymous is speaking from a guy’s perspective and I am not disputing what he says at all. But I think women tend to see things a bit differently than guys do.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: transmission in the older car is dying. Should I spend the thousands of dollars to fix it for sentimental reasons or donate/try to sell it?

    • I keep my old car going. I don’t want to get used to a new one. Spend the money to fix the one you have.

    • BTDT, sold that shit to avoid the future headaches. A transmission can cost a boat load of money, and also indicates that there are other problems looming. The one time we replaced a transmission, we ended up having to replace the motor soon after. It ended up costing something like $4k, and that was with my family doing the work. I would have rather put that into a new car.

      • I’ll second this point about indicating that other problems are looming. Our last car needed the transmission replaced ($4k) and less than a year later, the suspension needed totally re-done ($2k) and it sprung some kind of oil leak somewhere that would have cost at least another $1k to identify where it was coming from and who knows how much more to fix it. Wish we’d just taken that $6k and gotten a new car right then and there.

    • Depends on the car. A late 80s Toyota pick-up or a late 70s Mercedes diesel? Those things probably have another 200K miles left on the engine. I’d fix.

  • Rant: I HATE my kitchen. There’s no storage, horrible lighting. It shows plenty fine, but the more I use it, the less functional it is.
    Rave: I have an amazing design on paper for a renovation.
    Rant: No money. I mean, we have money…but it’s subsidizing my low paying job and my husband’s mortgage-covering income.
    Rave: Parent’s hosted a great meet and greet with John Fetterman, senate candidate, last night. Dude is HUGE. Great event.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Ditto on Rants 1-3 (well, our reno plan is less amazing). Barring major changes in income, it’ll probably be at least 5 years before we seriously consider any renovations beyond DIY.

    • 1) Take solace in the fact that your personal culinary brilliance will overcome the suckiness of your kitchen! I know firsthand that sucky kitchens suck, but there is a certain zen glow that comes from overcoming the subtly malevolent feng shui of show kitchens to produce dazzling and creative cooking. Small solace, but it helps. ๐Ÿ™‚
      .
      2) (more practical) If it fits and you don’t have one, get a hanging rack for your pots. Those things are great.
      .
      3) Fetterman is brilliant! Met him at a fundraiser laet last year. He could be the Good Trump of Pennsylvania.

    • I feel you on the kitchen! My spouse and I love cooking and by apartment rental standards our kitchen is okay but leaves a lot to be desired: almost no prep space, narrow galley, electric stove, cabinets are not deep even though we have lots of storage, no drawers that fit the organizer to hold silverware. Not to mention laminate and mirrors abound–very 80s/90s. I am hoping once we buy we have a much nicer kitchen though I fear we probably won’t given how expensive housing is here. Since we rent, we can’t make any changes and we aren’t moving any time soon because our apartment for the most part is great! As Irving said below, we pride ourselves on the fact that amazing food still emerges from our kitchen regardless.

    • Re: money, you guys seem to be doing pretty darn well considering that your husband is in law school! Almost all of the law students I know live in fairly dorm-like housing. And at least you know your situation is temporary. And likely to be very, very different in 3-5 years or so.

  • Rave: Had a great time at the barn last night – jumped the highest I’ve ever jumped and got it on video. Plus it was gorgeous out, the horse was fabulous, and I was with my friend and her puppy.
    Rant: Scary ass dream that made me think of my friend who has been through that reality. I’ll have to reach out to her and send her my love.
    Rant/Rave: Have a hefty to-do list at work. But got the ok to turn off my e-mail and concentrate. Will listen to good tunes and plow through this.
    Rave: Good TV and a great book awaits me tonight if I can get through this workload (TV: The Bachelor and some Miss Fisher, Book: The Power Broker)

    • Rant: 20 minutes of poorly timed, frustrating wrestling with Skype and Whatsapp on three different devices in order to communicate with my husband across the world has left me pissy, cranky, and unproductive. And we still haven’t talked cause I’m in too foul of a mood now and it’s past midnight for him.

      • Ugh. That sounds miserable. My fiance is considering going into a field that requires a lot of travel after he finishes his MBA and I think this stupid trip is making him re-evaluate that option.

        Congrats on Rave #1! I haven’t ridden since college and I miss it so much.

        • Yea – it’s tough but it’s also so wonderful. Because he loves the work, we love to travel, and the perspective, experiences, and people we meet/accrue/etc. is so so worth it. And technology is fabulous because hell, you can talk/share pics/etc. for free. But at this moment i just want to chuck my phone across the room and bellow in frustration at not being able to communicate like normal human beings. Living across two cities AND having him travel 7 of the last 9 weeks in shitty time zones has made it particularly rough.
          Horses are a wonderful distraction – try and see if you can get some pony time – you never forget how to ride!

          • Do you have a barn you’d recommend? I’d love to get back at it!

          • It’s been a few hours, so maybe (hopefully) you feel better by now. But maybe you can channel that energy of wanting to talk to him into a hand-written letter you could send to him instead? Something sweet and old-school to make up for the new-fangled technology failing?

          • Spanner: Reddemeade Farm is a great option out in Burtonsville – it has good horses, good people, you can get there with a combo of metro + zipcar, etc.
            KE: Thanks for the suggestion. I send him cards regularly but a good old love letter never hurt anyone :-).

      • Have you tried Viber? I find it easier to use then What’s App – both for texting and for phone calls.

        • I have – one of the frustrations is that we’re spoiled for choice and have e-mail, skype, viber, whatsapp, but juggling through them all and multiple devices to figure out what works, who has left a message, etc. with the time zone issue has been so frustrating! Plus he’s in China now so internet access depends on how well you behave!

    • Oh the Power Broker is a hefty, but excellent read! I

      • As an urban planner, I should have read it years ago! It’s so cool to read it while living there part-time. I’d love to hear commentary on how the city has changed since the book was written in 1974 – the subtitle is the Fall of NY – which was surely true in the 70s but nowadays? I’d love to look at the differences.

        • IMHO, it’s one of the best nonfiction books ever written. It’s a must-read for anyone interested in how cities (NYC obviously in particular) grow the way they do, but it’s also a great case study in how power is amassed, wielded and lost. Once you read it you’ll never look at organizational politics the same way.

        • I’m sure you love it, and living in NYC brings the whole book to life. I saw Robert Caro speak a few years ago at an event, such an interesting guy and a painstakingly thorough researcher!

  • Hmm. I guess my comment got eaten.

    Rave: Hosting a dinner party this weekend. I want to make some dishes that won’t have be running around instead of enjoying the guests. Any ideas? No food restrictions that I’m aware of.
    Rant: The cluster that is the presidential election
    Rave/Rant: Moving in fits and starts with starting my business. I know I need to devote at least 25-30 hours per week to get it going, but I’m finding this difficult in the evenings with a toddler, after work chores and trying to exercise. Sigh…gotta find motivation somewhere and make the time.

    • My go-to dish for a dinner party is short ribs. They need to be cooked low and slow so you can prep it in the morning (a crockpot is the best for this but a dutch oven on the stove or in the oven will also work) and it’s fantastic by dinnertime. And it always seems like a super fancy option when done in a red wine and tomato broth.

      • Confirmed! I made the short ribs from the Smitten Kitchen cookbook and they were divine. They’re so easy to make if you give yourself enough time.

    • Andie302

      For finger food as guests arrive I recently did dates with gorgonzola drizzled with honey. You could assemble them shortly before guests arrive. For a main course, I really like this: http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/browse-all-recipes/fennel-crusted-pork-loin-roasted-potatoes-pears

      I sub pears with apples because I don’t have the patience to let pears ripen.

    • Beef bourguignon! Make ahead and then reheat. Serve with a salad (also made ahead) and some good bread.

    • I second short ribs… they are easy and a crowd pleaser and other than the cook time there’s not a ton that goes into making them. Also, I recently made this Dijon and Cognac beef stew for a 4-person dinner party (which was the perfect amount so you may have to tinker depending) that was fantastic! I mean, the ingredients sounded kinda meh, especially the amount of mustard and I love mustard. But somehow it works and everyone was pretty much licking their plates clean: http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2014/02/dijon-and-cognac-beef-stew/

    • Accountering

      If you really want to step your game up, bacon wrapped dates with goat cheese is a sure winner.

    • I once hosted a middle-eastern themed dinner. Roasted lamb shoulder – no need to be super exact on cooking times. Cous cous pilaf, and fattoush salad recipe from Bon Appetit. Easy appetizers like feta cheese, crackers, olives.

  • Bear

    Rant: I spent my afternoon off at the podiatrist because of lingering foot pain that suddenly got worse. Turns out I have plantar fasciitis and I have to wear awesome inserts in not-awesome shoes for the next three weeks.
    Rave: Dietary changes have helped with sleep, and I think with some inflammation too. I’ll need a few weeks to see if it’s really helping or just a fluke, but my back pain seems better the last few days.
    Rant: What this means long term…might have to cut out entire food groups to see continued results. Not too thrilled with that prospect.

  • Rant: Work stuff is making me cranky.
    Compensatory rave: Things aren’t great here, but I’ve been in jobs that were a lot worse.
    Rave: My daffodils are continuing to sprout/grow (though no flowers yet), and this morning I think I saw one of my tulips poking its head out of the ground.

    • My tulips are 2-3 inches up, but there’s no sign of the daffodils. Weird, right?? They are planted on the shady side, but still… I’m used to seeing daffodils at least a couple weeks before the first tulip tip. Oh, and my crocuses popped up in what seemed like a single day, bloomed for a single day, and are now done. Very strange.

    • I love when the daffodils come up. I call them the trumpeters of spring. I am especially fond of the tiny daffodils that seem to spring up in threes. Spring is so beautiful in DC with all the little gardens.

  • RANT: DC Public Works actions say: We won’t tell you there’s a project down the sidewalk until you have already walked down and discovered it for yourself; we then expect you to turn around and walk back, or enter the street and walk with cars. We do not intend to put it at the beginning of the sidewalk as a warning, where it would do the most good. Have a nice day.

  • Wondering what all the sirens last night (around 11) in close-in Capitol Hill were about. Nothing on MPD’s twitter, but seemed like a lot of sirens in what is otherwise a pretty quiet area.

  • Rant: anyone has a good divorce attorney recommendation? I was married in another country but now live in DC and need to have it legally divorced here, so my situation is bit different. Also my ex-wife already got remarried and just never filed that she was married before because it technically wasn’t ever filed here in america. Thanks

    • Whoa. That sounds like a legal quagmire. If your marriage was never registered in the US, it seems that you wouldn’t have any legal grounds to dissolve that marriage since there was no recognized marriage to begin with?

      • I don’t think that’s the case. Under the idea of comity, countries recognize marriages performed in other jurisdictions. Even if OP didn’t register the marriage in the US, I still think s/he needs to take legal steps to have it officially dissolved. And I am pretty sure the (soon-to-be) former wife could be charged with bigamy. Very messy situation.

      • Wow. Yes, agree with Anonamom. I thought if you got married in another country you had to take some other steps in order to make it legal in the states? Also, how would your ex-wife get a marriage license to get re-married if you had a marriage on the books in the US? My head hurts.

        • Perhaps requirements were different for the wife if she was not a U.S. citizen and OP was? This is so messy. Sorry to hear about this situation, anymous.

      • Accountering

        You have legal grounds to divorce in DC if you: “Either spouse must be a resident for at least 6 months prior to filing for a divorce. All active military members that are stationed in Washington D.C. are considered a residents as long as they have been stationed for at least 6 months. “

        • Sorry should have clarified both AMERICAN citizens by birth we just chose to marry in another country because it was fun and pretty there. She never filed it here because she didn’t know she had to so she just said she was never married when they asked her the next time she got married because she didn’t know it was legal in the US

          • Wow, she hedged her bets. No one says “Oops, forgot to file our marriage certificate!” A newly married couple is on top of this.
            Does she have a lot of assets she brought to the marriage? It’s almost like a back door pre-nup.

          • If the paperwork was never filed, then you were never legally married.

        • Based on my experience, you have to first prove you were married in order to get divorced. So there’s that too. She can actually dispute that they were ever legally married, which, considering she is already married again, she will most likely do.

    • Contrary to what some posters are saying, you don’t have to file anything separate or take any steps to have the marriage “recognized” in the US if you got married in another country. The foreign marriage certificate is sufficient. My husband and I got married outside the US and have used our foreign marriage certificate for all sorts of official purposes within the US, including me getting a green card.

      I don’t have any recommendations for a lawyer…sorry. But just wanted to clear that up.

    • Hm, I can’t personally recommend a family law attorney. You could contact the DC bar for a referral…the Civil Advocacy or Women in the Law clinics at American University, Washington College of law both handle family law matters. Someone there (probably the faculty advisors) may be able to recommend an attorney in private practice.

  • Rant: Grief over loss never fully leaves you. And for whatever reason it hit me hard last night again. From the time I started working out I was weepy and it continued especially on my walk home from the metro.
    Rave: The woman working the poultry counter at Eastern Market. She said it looked like I was getting sick and I explained tearfully I was just having a tough day. She proceeded to comfort me saying lots of nice positive things. When complete strangers go out of there way like that, it makes me feel good about the world.
    Rant: Still struggling a bit this morning with the tears. Hoping focusing on a to do list and a 4 mile run will get me through.

  • Rant: While I’m enjoying this spring break trip, being with a group of people for a week without any alone time outside of the bathroom is difficult for this introvert. I miss solo Netflix time.
    Rant: Going to the sketchiest bar with a group of people and not being able to leave until they are good and ready.
    Rant: “I’m a two-time felon” is not a good pick up line.
    Rave: More amazing Mexican food.

  • Rave: Girl Scout cookies are out! Anyone know of a girl scout willing to sell me a few boxes? ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Rant: Work has been super stressful. I don’t think that the newly hired person is going to last, which is increasing my baseline anxiety about work.
    Rant: Realizing that the move from DC is looming and getting closer with every passing day. I know this is a good move for me and the kids, but there are times when I just can’t believe that I’m leaving the city.
    Rant: Learning how to be a step-parents is hard. I am a very hands on parent, and to be in a situation where I am relegated to the support role is tough, especially when decisions are being made that I strongly disagree with.
    Rant: Full of rantyiness today. Blah.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: A ton of little annoyances are really adding up today.
    Rave: Early morning appointments so I don’t have to miss much work.
    Rave: Getting my sinus infection treated; hope to have relief soon.

  • Rant: Really disappointing dinner at Dukem last night. I haven’t been there in a looooong time, now I know why.
    Rave: Friend visiting from overseas, she gave me a cookbook where the first recipe I saw was for wine soup. Good for whatever ails you. She also brought grappa which must be for the times when wine soup doesn’t work

    • HaileUnlikely

      I used to like Dukem many years ago, but have been underwhelmed and disappointed by them in recent years. I haile recommend CherCher, just north of the Convention Center on 9th St. Inexpensive and very good.

  • Rant: I have to get a root canal tomorrow morning.

    Rave: I have dental insurance…

    Rant: I think that I probably still have to pay a gazillion dollars out of pocket

    Rant: Didn’t get as big of a refund as I expected, so I have to do some creative budgeting in the next few months (see: paying for surprise root canal added expenses)

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: feeling like an impostor who is about to be found out at work.
    Rave: ordered in for lunch (thanks coworker)
    Rant: and ate my feelings.
    Rave: food was good and had spinach so basically a salad. sort of.

  • maxwell smart

    I’m in a real funk lately that I’m sure is deeper than seasonal ennui.

  • Rant – Feeling stressed out and ate my feelings at lunch.
    Rave – I have the house to myself tonight and looking forward to some alone time. I plan to curl up on the sofa with the dog and a blanket and watch some guilty pleasure tv.

Comments are closed.