Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

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Photo by PoPville flickr user nevermindtheend

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

122 Comment

  • Rant: I wish I had been nicer to my parents this weekend. I love them and spending time with them, but then when I am with them I revert to being a snarky teen again. It makes me and my parents feel bad…lose lose.
    Rave: Roommate is gone for the next week! All the apple tv to watch (thanks santa!)

    • lol. I feel you on your rant. I spent the last few days at my parents house and there were some sibling dynamics that came out. Mostly goofiness, but we did have a few bratty teen moments. I mean as oldest child I should be able to decide whether or not I get to take a nap in the room where my little brother wants to watch tv right?

  • Revel: Le Caprice for breakfast. Hooray for savory meatless pastries!
    Rant: Haven’t spoken to a human that wasn’t taking my money since Friday evening.
    Revel: I have place for lunch/museuming with a friend later today
    Question: I made an appointment with a psychiatrist to see if an antidepressant would help me. I got an email saying the doctor doesn’t prescribe more than 30 days at a time and requires an in-person appointment for a refill (won’t call them in). Is this normal?

    • binntp

      I would imagine that the prescription refill/need to visit in-person is fairly routine. While I haven’t been on antidepressants, I do know that when I started a different medication for the first time, my doctor also required a follow-up visit before refilling it just to check in, retest, and make sure there wasn’t any tweaks needed to the dosage.

      • That makes sense to me but every month indefinitely? It seems excessive to me. I’m going to call a few other doctors to see what they do.

        • Maybe take it one step at a time? You haven’t even seen the doctor yet and you’re worried about refills for anti-depressants? Seems to me like you should just see the doctor first and then figure out what happens next.

        • A doctor who would prescribe indefinitely with no follow up is one thing. But an in-person appointment every single month and prescriptions that only last 30 days? Even with a good insurance policy 12 doctor visits a year could be very expensive. Not to mention, I’ve never in my life been to a doctor’s office that could schedule appointments with that regularity.

    • Yes, that’s quite normal. The doctor needs to evaluate you to see what kind of antidepressant might work best for you, ask you a lot of questions, needs to make sure s/he has a complete list of any other drugs you’re on so that they’re not prescribing something that’s contraindicated, and they have to see you on a more regular basis so that they can ensure you’re on the right dosage or medication, at least until your symptoms are well-controlled.

      • +1 – Generally speaking, whenever you are going on any long-term medication, you will need to be evaluated at the 1 month mark, and then 3-6 months/a year after. A psychiatrist worth their salt will do regular check-ins. Anti-depressants are most effective when taken in conjunction with therapy and the psychiatrist should be checking to make sure this is still happening. Close attention should be paid to how they affect you physically. So I would say that this is an excellent approach being taken.

    • I get refills from my NP and she gives at least 3 months at a time,maybe longer. she has me come in for bloodwork every 6 mos. It is a antidepressant I have been on for years though

    • I Dont Get It

      I would definitely go for the first follow-up, mabe even a second but then I would get my regular doctor to start providing the prescription.

      • They can do that? I didn’t know this. I guess I should find myself a primary care provider. It’s not that I want free reign over my drugs, but monthly appointments are a lot.

        • I Dont Get It

          My GP prescribed mine for years after I quit seeing my shrink.

        • I can’t remember exactly what the follow-ups were like, but my GP wrote my antidepressant prescription. I don’t think it was indefinitely renewed (maybe a check-in every 6 months, and perhaps 1 month after the first round to see how it was going). This was after my therapist had recommended medication in addition to therapy, and she also kept tabs on how I felt the medication was going (side effects were a little nasty).
          .
          I definitely can see regular appointments to make sure everything is going well, but monthly forever sounds excessive

      • +1. Monthly appointments at first are one thing, but monthly appointments indefinitely sound like an unnecessary hassle.

    • I’m guessing being new on anti the doctor is probably checking dosage and your reaction to it which is why there is an easing in process of monthly check-ins. They may ultimately not be right for you also. Relax, grab a coffee, and see how the appt goes.

  • Rave: Good time in PA with the family. Home Cooked meals, and fun bonding moments. In “wow I’m old” news the present I got most excited about was a Homegoods gift card.

    Rant: It seems the flooding in the basement was worse than we initially thought. They may have to take up the floor. Its super frustrating since I’ve been out of town since Thursday and haven’t really been able to check on my stuff that got wet.

    Reminder! Unofficial PopVille Happy Hour on Weds December 30th at Colony Club!

    • Basement floods certainly suck. If your flooring is laminate, or anything except tile, it definitely needs to be replaced. It cannot be saved once soaked. You’re renting right? You need to talk to your landlord. If the walls got wet, all the drywall needs to be cut out to above the wet mark, then industrial blowers run for 3 days to dry out the studs to prevent mold.

      Seriously – I went through all this last year (as a landlord – sewer backed up and flooded the basement apt.) Hopefully their insurance will cover it. A professional company like Roto-Rooter will do all this. Hopefully you had renters insurance too.

  • rant: been angry at my sister for a few days. she claims I hurt her feelings, but I want to point out how rude and disrespectful she always is towards me. tension is thick between us.
    rave: glad the holidays are over. this wasn’t the best Christmas.
    rave: I have so many movies I want to see!
    Rant: cost of living. LOL

  • Rant: I’ve tried and tried against my better judgement and the breakup with my boyfriend is finally happening. My heart is breaking into a million pieces. I had really high hopes for this one….
    .
    Rant: Back from vacation last night, didn’t sleep well, homesick.
    .
    Rave: Work is quiet so at least I can get started on my required preliminary readings for next semester.

  • Rave: Fun holiday gatherings on both sides of the family. We stayed at my dad’s house on Christmas Day after the family potluck. It meant getting home LATE, but I also got to spend some lovely time with my dad and step-mom talking and laughing. Even the hellish year of cancer treatment my dad has been through, it felt extra special to have him around for Christmas and to spend time with him. Watching him hold my niece made me tear up at one point in the afternoon.
    Rant: I somehow turned off my alarm this morning and was late for work.
    Rave: This is a SLOW week at work, so being late doesn’t matter very much.

    • This sounds so lovely, glad you guys got to spend the holidays together. As I get older, I’m beginning to realize what a privilege it is to be able to share some of these moments with the people we love

  • Rave: The three-and-a-half-day break.
    Rant: Back in the office.

  • Rave: Heading up to NY to look at wedding venues today.
    Rant: A lot of people getting involved in the wedding planning process. As an introvert with very decided opinions marrying an introvert with very decided opinions, this is tough for us. Trying to keep in mind that our friends and family are just excited to be a part of the process.
    Rave: Great Christmas with my parents and fiancé. My dad and I were both relieved to just have a small crew this year and without any guests. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!
    Rave: Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery. The stuff is magic.

    • Congrats on the engagement/wedding. Having just negotiated this process, my wife and I developed the following technique… whenever someone made a suggestion that we didn’t like we just said “that’s a really great idea, let us think about that” even if it’s actually a terrible idea and we’d made up our minds firmly against it. I think a lot of the tension happens when people feel the need to convince everyone else to buy into an idea RIGHT NOW. There’s never a need to tell anyone that there ideas are bad, ie, just say “that’s a great idea to do our send-off in a hot dog car and serve hot dogs at the wedding. We’ll think about that and make some calls.” Rather than convince people that there ideas are wrong, or bad, we just said we were considering our options and made the decision, whenever possible, when it was just the two of us. And then said later “yeah, that was a really great idea, but we decided to go with X.” If you need an excuse, you can almost always plausibly claim that you found about hidden fees (“turns out the Weinermobile has a hot dog cutting fee that was excessive and not on the website. Great idea though!”). Whenever possible, make the final decisions when it’s just the two of you, and it will make things… not always easy — it’s a big process! — but certainly easier.

      • Honestly, this is a good skill to master in non-wedding life. Been using this tactic on my dad since high school (at my mother’s suggestion, I should add). More often than not the topic changes soon after, and the person making the suggestion forgets all about it.

      • Thank you for the great advice. I’ll definitely try to keep this in mind. I’ve approached things this way in the past but I’ve had a tough time here specifically. But it’s a long (2 years) engagement so I should really just start implementing this approach since we have a long way to go.

  • Rant: Thought the office would be quiet this week, so I could catch up after being out last week. I was very wrong.
    Rave: Telework for the rest of the week.

  • Rave: Lovely low-key weekend with family
    Rave: Made three excellent, excellent, excellent meals – rrated by others, not just me 🙂
    Rant: Gained a few pounds, how did that happen? Maybe related to above rave?

  • Rave: Trip to visit friends was perfect last week. The two kids ran around like crazy and it’s like they just saw each other the day before rather than four months ago. Got some good adult time in there, too.
    *
    Rave: Husband starts a 3-4 week contract job today. Hello, second income for the first time in almost a year.
    *
    Rave: FINALLY got to see Star Wars on Christmas Eve. A friend on FB spoiled one key plot point the night it opened (boo) but that didn’t take away from the experience. Loved it, and loved talking about it with my friend’s 9 year old son afterward.
    *
    Rant: Tried to improvise ganache based on some internet instructions and while it turns out okay in the pan, it didn’t hold up so well as a baked layer in my pecan pie. Next time, will just go get the heavy cream it requires.

  • Rave: The move is complete! Farewell spitting children and rock-throwing teens!
    Rave: Helping my sister wedding plan, try on dresses, the whole shebang. She’s so happy.
    Rave: Back in the office, back to the grindstone. I don’t even mind it this week! Happiness abounds!

  • Rave: Had a wonderful time with family – despite some awkwardness – and ate so.much. good food.
    Rant: Back to reality. So much work to catch up on I want to cry.
    Rave: Had a nice chat with my roomie last night after not having been able to talk with her for pretty much over a week, between our work schedules and the holidays.
    Rant: I feel terrible. I went to sleep with a headache, woke up with one, and can’t seem to shake this stupid wretched headache. It’s not bad enough that I feel like I should go home because I can’t function, but it’s sooooo close to a migraine. I feel nauseous and cranky and I want to punch everyone.
    Rant: my cube mate is such a nice lady but she talks to herself out loud. CONSTANTLY. And she listens to smooth jazz that’s so terrible I actually asked if she was on hold, because I figured that would be the only reason someone would listen to this terrible music. And just won’t shut. up. ever.! It’s slowly driving me bananas.
    Rave: Three-day-weekend coming up.
    Rant: I invited the guy I’ve been seeing to a low-key NYE party with some neighbors, but he said he already had plans with a friend from out of town. Bummed. Not too bummed, but just enough to be annoyed (because everything is annoying me today).
    Rant: I feel like I have so many more rants. I know they’re so stupid and silly compared to the horrors going on around the world, but it’s how I feel today. Blah!

    • Re your rant about the NYE party and the guy you’ve been seeing — you have a right to be bummed about that, imo. I understand that people have different plans, but it would have been nice if he had invited you to his thing with his friend (unless you feel you don’t know him well enough yet). I hope he did.

      • Thanks, Friday Girl. I don’t really know him well enough to expect to be included in his plans, and that’s ok. It just seemed like a nice chance to see him, to have him meet/interact with some of my friends, and bonus, would be totally free. I am on a very tight budget and so finding ways we can meet up without spending much (or any!) money is sort of a priority for me, and I’m not sure about him (haven’t asked).

      • oh, and also, sorry to hear about your breakup. Are you coming to the unofficial Happy Hour on Wednesday?

        • Thanks LBP. I’m going to try to make it on Wednesday, but I’ll have to see if I have enough energy after work.

    • With the cube mate… does your office not have a policy on playing music out loud (vs. using headphones)? Might your boss be willing to institute one?
      .
      Cubicle environments are bad enough as it is. The last thing you need to deal with is someone else’s choice in music.

      • +1 to this. I would suggest saying something to JJ about this. Fearless Leader will do nothing. JJ will speak to cube mate. Just be VERY nice when you ask. It also helps to throw in that perhaps the person across the hall in the non-cube has noticed and said something to you. No one likes to irritate the “letters after their names”.

        • I HAVE letters after my name, they just neglected to put them on my nameplate! I want to find a way to address it myself first, before I loop anyone else in, I’m just not sure today is the right day to do it because I’m already so annoyed. Do you remember if there is a policy about this kind of thing?

          • LOL, you know what I mean… I was trying to be vague!! Unless you have *those* letters, which I completely missed!?!
            There is a policy about headphones (they aren’t allowed), and I believe that it does extend to music and something about needing to be kept at a reasonable level. I think the best thing to do is approach it in a friendly manner. Honey catching more flies and all that. I would then launch the biggest of all campaigns for the space immediately in front of you when it opens up (which hopefully will be sooner rather than later).

          • Hahaha! Yeah, no, don’t have those letters! But yeah, I’ll campaign hard when the time comes! And I usually can be a really nice person – I’m just trying to figure out how to approach it, because I let it go during the past few weeks when she wanted to listen to Christmas music and it was really low, and now I feel like I’ve created a (mis)understanding that any and all music is ok for me to be able to hear. Blah. I just don’t think today is the right day to approach it because I’m not sure I can make myself sweet enough! I’m in a very vinegary mood!

  • Rant: Stupid headache. I’m at the point now where it’s almost gone, but I have that spaced-out feeling.

    Rave: Met someone. So far, I think he is amazing. But worried as we are both out of LTRs (mine from end of July, his a few months ago) and I don’t want to be the Rebound Girl.

    Rave: My coworkers are happily eating all the desserts I have left over from my party.

  • Rave: Christmas was really amazing. The kids were so happy, with Littlest Anonachild announcing “Best. Day. Ever!” at the end of the present unwrapping. We had an awesome Christmas Eve, and I couldn’t have asked for a better holiday.
    Rant: Christmas Day sucked, as usual. The kids go with their dad Christmas morning and no matter how hard I try, it just effing sucks. We went to see a movie, and stupidly picked “Daddy’s Home” thinking it would be a funny distraction. Nope. In my crappy mood, I watched it thinking how much like Will Ferrell’s character I am as a pseudo-stepmom, and how pathetic I must be. Then, when picking up his kids from his ex, her step-dad invited me inside (I had stayed in the car) for wine/dinner with the “come on guys, you have to get used to this sometime” line. Umm. Sorry. I have been understanding up to the point of lameness mentioned above. We do birthdays and Halloween together as one huge, dysfunctionally weird yet awesome step-family. I do not have to subject myself to happy families on Christmas day when I have been for the last three years at my lowest point. If this makes me look like an asshole, well, I am just going to accept that.

  • Rant: Don’t want to be back at work! One thing I miss about my old job – we got almost two full weeks off around the holidays… Le sigh.
    Rave: Good time at home with family, lots of delicious food, reading time and kitty cuddling.
    Rave: My family is pretty great. I wish I saw them more than once or twice a year.

  • Rant: Dreamt that as a result of this new medication I’m taking, my hair was falling out in large patches.
    Revel: It wasn’t

  • topscallop

    Rave: I had a nice week at home for the holidays and BF got along well with everyone. We haven’t been dating that long, but I was glad that my family and friends got to meet him, and he got to know me better by seeing where and who I came from. We ate way too much food and drank a lot of champagne and good local beers all week. I’m constantly, pleasantly…not surprised at this point, but I guess flattered? by how much he likes me. He is always telling me I’m beautiful and finding tiny things I do without thinking about them adorable. It seemed like a lot at first but I am seeing more and more that he is genuinely a sweet, affectionate, communicative person. A change for sure from past experiences I’ve had.
    Rave: glad to be back in DC and a quiet office! I can get work done and run errands and maybe telework some this week since I don’t need to have any meetings.
    Rant: nothing, really. Just the need to go grocery shopping and get back into a workout routine after everything I ate this past week. I see lots of salads in my future!

  • Rant: Antibiotic resistance. This is scary!
    Revel?: Phage therapy might fill the gap. Does anybody really know if those little viruses, and the humans working on them, can save the day?
    Revel: I want to ask out a friend. I’m quite taken with her, and I am pretty sure that she’s single and frustrated.
    Rant: I don’t want to jeopardize our friendship. Someone described a sales tactic called “yes-escalation” or something like that, but even getting into position to use it seems fraught. NYE is imminent, and I don’t want someone else to beat me to her in general, but I’m not sure what to do.
    Revel: Rojava! So exciting!
    Rant: Dirt bike/ATV gangs. Feral teens in general.

    • I say just try. I totally understand the “not wanting to jeopardize the current friendship” thing, but everyone always talks about how they regret the things they didn’t do more than the things they did do, so I say go for it.

      • Agreed! I say be honest with her and try your best not to let it jeapordize your friendship. Not sure what yes-escalation is, but try not to overthink it and just let her know how you feel, give her some space, and let her feel safe in making her decision, whatever the outcome may be

      • OK, thanks. I sent a message to meet in person, so I can “just go for it.” Now I have to wait for that watched pot to boil, i.e. wait for a response that might not come. I hate this part.

    • I’d just ask to see if she has any plans for NYE and if she says no- then ask if she would like to do something. If she says yes- just go out and let the night play it self out. You never know- you just might get a NYE kiss to ring in the new year. Save sharing the feelings for a later date.

    • A few times in my life, I was tempted to ask out female friends. I was chicken until the last (using the excuse that I didn’t want to ruin the friendship), when I finally decided f it, I’m going to ask her out. She shot me down, but I honestly felt fantastic afterward. It was the only time in my life when i got rejected and felt elated. I think I was just relieved that I knew and could move on. My interest in her went adios just like that. We’re still friends too.

      tl;dr version: just go for it, can’t hurt to try.

  • Pablo Raw

    Hello… it’s me.
    Rave: I’ve been away from PoPville for a while due to different circumstances, hope to get in the habit of making daily comments again
    Rave: Friends who send me messages to ask if everything was fine. Thank you.
    Rant: Lost my job a month ago
    Rave: Currently training in my typical auto-didact way in order to be qualified to work in better places and have more opportunities.

  • Rant: Falling into a bit of a holiday funk and anxiety over the prospect of growing up. I’m reaching that age where more of my friends are getting married and having children and while I have a wonderful partner who I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with, I’m getting more agnostic about marriage at best and at borderline panic when I think of planning and costs for a wedding. I think that we both want to have kids eventually but don’t feel remotely ready to have children at this point and holy smokes, I know my ovaries are aging as we speak. Couple that with not feeling quite grounded here in DC and missing having good friends around I can enjoy being with even if we’re just sitting around doing nothing at all and I am officially in Funkville.

    • you can have an inexpensive wedding or get maried at courthouse
      you and your partner can have the wedding that is right for you, if you want to get married

      • Agreed with this. If you’re up for the legal partnership and the main thing that’s fazing you is the idea of planning a wedding, keep the simple/courthouse options in mind.

    • Hey, just want to cosign your agnostic / anxious feelings about marriage. This is more common than people realize. I have several friends going through the same. Big hugs.

    • I absolutely feel you on this. My friends, sister, seemingly everyone else in the world, is getting engaged. While dress shopping for my sister, my mom asked me, “Are you thinking about your wedding yet??” I love my SO but we just are not there, and hearing everyone else plan their weddings makes me just want to sprint away to the courthouse if we ever get there. Ignore the societal pressure and expectations! Do what’s right for you guys.

    • How about a registered domestic partnership? I’ve done the marriage and divorce thing already, and it’s left me disillusioned about the institution of marriage, but not the legal protection marriage brings. This may be an option for me in the future.

    • Thanks everyone, it’s so good to know there are others out there and thank you for the support. The domestic partnership idea is an interesting one. What are the differences from a traditional marriage? I have also seen marriages fall apart and the legal contract is certainly not enough to keep two people together and at times leads to an even more painful divorce process. I completely agree with your sentiment that there are certain legal protections and benefits afforded to spouses and god forbid that anything should happen, I would seriously regret the decision to not get married

      • It is my understanding that in DC, you simply come up with a legal agreement, and apply for a registration. There are requirements, like you have to live together for a certain length of time, but it grants you the ability to cover the partner for health insurance, you can files taxes together in DC (not sure on Feds), etc. It is open to same-sex or opposite-sex partners. http://doh.dc.gov/service/domestic-partnership
        If things don’t work out, you simply submit to have the partnership terminated. I’m sure it’s more complicated than that, but I’m willing to be it’s less complicated than getting a divorce.

        • From a quick skim, it looks like domestic partnership confers the same benefits as marriage for things health-related — health insurance eligibility, hospital visitation rights, ability to use leave under FMLA — and that’s it.
          .
          Not a lawyer here, so perhaps a divorce lawyer or family lawyer can tell us more. I _think_ if you’re married and die without a will and without dependents, your spouse automatically inherits; it doesn’t sound like that’s the case with a domestic partnership. Also not sure if being a domestic partner is at a disadvantage relative to being a spouse if he/she wishes to adopt the biological child of a partner.

          • I think this might be how Stieg Larsson’s father and brother ended up with the rights to the Millennium Trilogy, as Larsson wasn’t married to his longtime partner.

  • Bear

    Rave: Quick trip home post-Christmas to see the folks and my siblings. It’s been fun and the family drama has been minimal…a nice change. And only one person asked if we were trying to get pregnant yet!
    Rant: So tired. I haven’t been sleeping well for a while and keep having the weirdest, most vivid dreams. Looking forward to teleworking the rest of the week so I can have some much-needed down time. My goal for 2016 is to start the year at least somewhat well-rested.

  • That One Guy

    Rant: would prefer to be sitting in some remote (i.e. non-Internet connected part of the world) than in front of the computer here at work.
    Rave: taking a few days off this week.

  • Late Rave: This song is like a warm hug and I never want to stop listening to it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HugHs90w1M8

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Warm grain bowl with baby spinach, sweet potatoes, shredded carrots, purple onion and chicken from Sweetgreen which
    Double Rave: I took home and mixed with chicken stock to make a delicious, thick soup. It tasted so good on a dreary day like today.
    Triple Rave: Since I am working from home today and it is very slow, I ran to Home Depot to buy a garden hose where
    Rant: I was told that garden hoses are seasonal and they didn’t have any.
    Rave; Amazon Prime to the rescue…again.

    • If it’s not too late, I’d highly recommend Water Right hoses. They’re on Amazon; may be cheaper on the Water Right website (also, more options.). Check out the factory seconds and sale hoses
      🙂

      • I Dont Get It

        It was too late LOL, thanks though. I ordered a basic cheap hose, I rarely use a hose in the back anyway.

  • I Dont Get It

    Really bummed. Just got off the phone with my dad’s wife and they found cancer in two places in his bones. They meet with Drs later this week to discuss treatment options.

  • Rave: Finally made the call to American Pest about the damn roaches. Consultation was today, and we’re really pleased with their approach and that it is incredibly unlikely to harm my kids or my cats. And their maintenance package will include treatment for the ants once they start invading in the spring!
    .
    Rave: Saw Kiss Me, Kate at Shakespeare Theater yesterday, and it was fabulous!
    .
    Rant: I can’t believe I only have 2 weeks at home with the baby before he has his transition week into daycare, and 3 weeks at home before I go back to work. How did that pass so quickly???
    .
    Rave: It is absolutely amazing the difference in maternity leave experiences. While part of it is most certainly first-time vs. second-time experience, a lot also has to do with baby temperament. It is so much easier when you don’t have a baby who is constantly screaming! In her defense, she had reflux and discomfort likely caused some of that screaming, but wow was that a challenge.

  • RANT: officially saw the mouse sprinting across my kitchen floor on Xmas Eve. The bastard chewed through a garbage on the floor and for the first time we found a few small droppings. Bought traps and poison.
    .
    RAVE: no signs of him since then. I used steel wool and expanding spray foam to patch up two obvious holes. I think we may have sealed in his hiding spot.
    .
    RANT: one of my best friend’s brain cancer has returned for the 2nd time and the tumor has already progressed to Stage 3. More chemo after the New Year. *shakes fist at the wrathful sky gods*
    .
    RAVE: The Hateful Eight in 70mm. So good.
    .
    RANT: Crappy Chinese dinner on Xmas night in Rockville. Not worth the trip.
    .
    RAVE: CostCo and Trader Joes were absolutely dead this weekend. Great shopping experiences!

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