Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Ted Eytan

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

247 Comment

  • phl2dc

    Rant: Feeling completely uninspired food-wise. I have no idea what to eat for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It’s starting to feel like a complete lack of desire to eat.
    Rant: I have no raves today. πŸ™

  • That One Guy

    Question: can anyone recommend a good home remedy for a soar throat? It feels like my throat was scrubbed with a wire brush.

    • Gargle with salt water. Tea or ice cream. Ricola.

    • Hot tea w/ lots of honey & lemon. Also sucking on lemons.

    • Pablo Raw

      Rum? if you have enough of it, you don’t feel anything

      • Allison

        My mom used to give me a little vial of cream sherry when I had a cold. It did work.

        • Ditto, but with whisky in my parents’ house, followed by a spoonful of honey. Now I’ll often mix hot water with lots of honey, lemon juice, and maybe some grated ginger (I keep a knob of it in my freezer and grate on a microplane, or you can use dried ground ginger). I swear by it for a cold or sore throat. Sometimes a swig of bourbon joins in.
          I had bronchitis while on a bachelorette trip to New Orleans a few years ago. I stuck to bourbon and ginger ales, which seemed to work as well (or, at least, I didn’t collapse until after I got back home despite being constantly on the go for 3 days).

      • Rum in hot tea with honey and lemon!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Strep throat is going around my office, so consider a test. I like to consume hot beef consomme when I have a soar throat.

    • phl2dc

      I second all the tea suggestions with honey, lemon, and rum – I sometimes add some cinnamon powder too but be careful, it’s not water-soluble!
      I also like hot/warm almond milk with honey.

    • My throat has never soared (though maybe my singing is that good) … but when it is sore, first I gargle with a bit of red wine vinegar in warm water – gets the phlegm out. Then follow with warm salt water – also good for phlegm, eases the pain a bit. Then spray chloraseptic spray on sore throat – contains painkiller, kills the pain instantly. Then cough drops designed to help throat pain when you are out. When home and resting, juice from a fresh lemon, honey, hot water, and whiskey – add some whole cloves stuck into a slice of lemon (so you don’t swallow them), as clove also kills pain, doesn’t taste bad either.

  • RE: Anonamom’s comment on yesterday’s RRRR:
    (Sorry I just saw your reply from yesterday!)
    I’m not sure how it would show up on hair that hasn’t been bleached first – it would definitely give darker hair a purple sheen, but if you want a pop of bright color any dye has to be put over lighter colored hair unfortunately.

    • Thanks eggs πŸ˜€ I was researching it more yesterday, the website has awesome before/after pics from real people. Thanks so much for the suggestion! I also think this might be a good option for a few little ladies in my life who have been wanting colors but moms are concerned about the chemicals.

      • Anonamom, I don’t know how dark your hair is, but my experience with bright colors is that they don’t show up on dark hair, unless you’re in directly light, and even then it’s only as a subtle hint of color. This is good and bad, bad because yes, you need to lighten your hair to make it work, but good because you can reapply the color yourself easily at home by dumping it all over your head.
        I’m envious! Have a blast and let us know what you decide to do!

      • Yeah I fell in love with it and will evangelize all day! I’ve run into a few other ladies in the DMV area with bright colors and the answers I’m getting to “what brand is that?” are increasingly “Arctic Fox”. My stylist had never heard of it but she now tells everyone about it. For the price it really just can’t be beat. It smells like grape bubblegum too!

  • Rave: Short week
    Rave: Going to visit my father this weekend. Even though this gets harder with every visit, I’m grateful that I get to spend time with him.
    Rant: When I reschedule my plans to do something with the co-director of my committee and she doesn’t tell me until I’m on the way home from work (and it’s too late to tell the other plans I’m back in) that she doesn’t want to do the project because she is in a shitty mood because of work. So now we potentially lose money from the end of our fiscal year budget that we should have been able to use yesterday. It is frustrating because had I had even 20 minutes more lead-time I could have just done it on my own. (She’s the one with the car. I do not drive.)
    Rave: Hoping to find what we need online and just have the condo management order it. Thank goodness for online shopping.
    Rave: My cat last night was the cutest freaking thing ever.
    Rant: The housekeeper at my firm congratulated me on my pregnancy. I’m not pregnant.
    Rave: Indian food tonight with a friend!

    • Emmaleigh504

      A dude at work asked me if I’m pregnant. He asked b/c my dress was flowy and concealing, and lots of women try to conceal their baby tummies or something. I wanted to scream at him their are other reasons to hide a belly, like it’s fat! But he’s such a nice guy, I couldn’t do it.
      PSA don’t assume anyone is is pregnant, do not ask if they are pregant. WAIT to be told.

      • “PSA don’t assume anyone is is pregnant, do not ask if they are pregnant. WAIT to be told.”
        THIS. I want to scream this from the mountaintop and create a friendly FAQ for those that still aren’t sure: Wondering if you should ask that couple that’s been married for 5 years why they haven’t started a family/when they’re gonna have kids? DON’T. Want to ask that lady that looks like she may have a bit of a pudge if she’s preggo? DON’T. Want to congratulate someone on their pregnancy, even though they haven’t announced it and you’re not sure if they’re actually pregnant? DON’T.

      • PSA #2: Never, ever ask a person when she plans on having your kids. Unless you are involved in the process and paying for the raising of the child, it is never any of your business.

      • +1 to ALL of these PSAs. I’d also add that the only thing you should ever say to a pregnant lady about her body is that she looks great. That’s probably true for all ladies, not just pregnant ones. But even well-intentioned comments about the bump, the lack of bump, or other body changes can seem intrusive or weird.

        • “I’d also add that the only thing you should ever say to a pregnant lady about her body is that she looks great. That’s probably true for all ladies, not just pregnant ones.”
          I’d say you just shouldn’t make comments to ladies about the way they look, unless it’s someone you know well or unless it’s somehow your job to do so.

          • Krampus, aren’t you a guy? I think most women have the good sense to know when it’s appropriate to tell another woman that she looks great. It’s a completely different thing if that remark is coming from a man.

          • I am a guy, but my comment applies to both men and women. It’s just my opinion of course, but I think there’s way to much emphasis placed on physical appearance (and especially for women), so I support the reduction of looks-based small talk.

      • I got offered a pregnancy seat on the metro the other week. (I know it was a pregnancy seat because of how the guy kept looking back and forth from my face to my tummy when asking if I wanted the seat.) I haven’t worn that dress again since.

  • Rant: For the 8th time in two months the W-13 bus on South Capitol has just drive past me, the driver noticeably trying to avert their gaze, during my morning commute. This has caused me to be late for work, and this morning caused me to miss a meeting since they only send buses every 25 (in reality 35) minutes or so. Every time it’s happened i’ve sent a complaint to metro and every time I get the same form letter back telling me that it will be dealt with. And yet it never seems to be. Beyond frustrated with this….and everything right now. I pay an absurd amount to live in a city where I don’t have a single friend, I’m wildly underpaid at my job, and I don’t remember the last time I felt even a little bit of happiness.

    • Come join us for HH in October and make some new friends! (sorry your day got off to such a crappy start, though!)

      • Accountering

        I am going to +1 this one. The HHs are lots of fun, and you get an otherwise unattainable cross-section of people at them. Old people, young people, government workers, accounting dorks, single girls (lots of them, if that’s your thing) new transplants, people who have been here forever, white, black, Honduran (I think, right Pablo? haha) and everything in between.
        One of the HHs managed to have 4 people who spoke fluent Japanese. It was pretty incredible.

      • Emmaleigh504

        +1 please join us! We are a super friendly group!

      • Emmaleigh504

        but remember y’all, HATS!

      • Accountering

        Andie has corrected me, and informed me that Pablo is Nicaraguan. I was close!

    • Is the bus full? 99% of the time a bus drives by a stop it’s because it’s full and can’t take any more passengers.

    • Please read what you wrote, and then ask yourself what advice you would give to someone else that wrote this. It breaks my heart. This city is full of great things to do, people, and experiences – but if you’re struggling with your transit/job/housing/EVERYTHING, then maybe a mental health check is in order. If trying to do something that brings you joy is overwhelming, consider seeing your doctor to discuss it. If it’s not, try to get something in this weekend that makes you happy. Even if it’s a small thing like a meal, a bike ride, a stroll among the monuments at night…it could be a turning point to getting back to having some joy in your life. I’m sorry you’re struggling. Please do come to the HH’s…I have several people in my life I consider friends as a result of attending things like them.

  • Rant: Mom keeps doing “nice” things for us and the babies that really just make me frustrated and sad. They’re not frustrating or annoying enough to justify raising a stink and dealing with the fallout of raising a stink. But I also can’t bring myself to just say a polite thank you and move on because that seems to encourage the behavior. I just wish it would stop.
    Rave: Lots to do today. Gotta get to it!

    • Recommendation for fka Shawess: If you haven’t tried Kokkari yet – do it! Excellent Greek food, on Jackson Street

      • I almost never get up that way! Thanks for giving me a reason to go!

        • If you’re not a vegetarian, the stuffed calamari is tremendous. Also, you’d be a short walk from the Ferry Building, where there is a Recchiuti chocolate – just sayin’, if you need another reason to go . . .

    • More detail on the latest mom thing: I came home last night to a big box she had sent. Inside was a garbage bag filled with girls’ infant clothes that she had clearly spent weeks collecting from local thrift stores. All pink and purple and frilly and for the most part quite heavily used. Some of it smelled bad. I totally recognize that she wanted to be helpful and save us money, but realistically I just don’t want this stuff one bit. Now I have to figure out what to do with it. I can’t just stow it away because our house is way too tiny. I also know she’s just going to keep sending us more and more stuff like this that we don’t want if I don’t tell her to stop. But if I tell her to stop, she’ll cry.

      • I was wondering what could fall in this category of “nice” but frustrating, and this would fit the bill for me too (and my mom does this sometimes…but is pretty gracious when I tell her it’s something I don’t want). Is there a way that you can say – mom…thank you SOOOO much and then caveat it with “I think we have enough things for the twins now, and we anticipate getting more as time comes closer to their arrival, so for now please don’t send any more…you’ve already been more than generous. The old poop sandwich – something nice, something crappy, and something nice…so it softens the blow? Sorry you’re dealing this. Can you just take the bag right to good will and not worry about it? Will she have forgotten what she bought by the time they arrive?

      • Toss what’s gross and donate the rest.

        I’d give her a set list of things you’d like, so she still feels involved but doesn’t have free rein. Be explicit that items have to be new and sealed only….delicate babies and all that.

      • Throw everything but one or two pieces that are not smelly or heavily used away. Save those for when you see mom. Thank her for her thoughtful curated clothing and acknowledge the time and effort it took to pull that all together. Then tell her that you have SO many clothes now that you have no place to put them, so from there on out she doesn’t need to go out of her way to buy clothing for your kids.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Sometimes you just politely say, “thank you” and throw it in the trash. Maybe keep one or 2 outfits for a photo op so you can show you used them. This works for me and the million old discard library books my mom gives me, YMMV.

      • I swear to god. Our moms went are one in the same. My best suggestion is to say “mom, thank you for the gifts. As you know, our apartment is quite small, so we really don’t have room to store things, and since we aren’t sure of how big the babies will be and when (twins are even more unpredictable), it’s not a great idea to pre-buy clothes. So while I really appreciate the thought, we don’t have space for more.” Then take a few things from the bag to take pics in so she thinks you kept it, and donate the rest.

      • Can you fib an excuse that you guys now have way less storage? Just tell her that since you moved from a house in DC to an apartment in SF, you’ve had to downsize and now you don’t have as much room to store things. So for the time being, please hold off on purchases and you’ll let her know what you’ll need as thing progress with the babies.
        In the meantime, keep the few articles of clothing that you like and toss the rest out in the garbage. Give them a wash in hot water.

      • Sorry to hear about this frustrating behavior from your mom. Maybe you can thank her for thinking of you, but explain that you don’t have much storage space and you were really hoping to pick things out yourself?
        I was going to say you could mention that you also wanted less “girly” clothing… but I have a bad feeling that would result in a garbage bag full of gender-neutral baby clothes arriving.

        • “I was going to say you could mention that you also wanted less β€œgirly” clothing… but I have a bad feeling that would result in a garbage bag full of gender-neutral baby clothes arriving.” Yup!

        • Accountering

          We have a similar thing with our 800 sq foot rowhouse. We want to host a housewarming party, but after the two of us both moving from larger places, having to do a ton of consolidating already, we do NOT NEED MORE THINGS!
          I think in the invite we will say something like “we just want your company, no gifts allowed, except beer and wine” but inevitably, people will bring the a fruit plate or some other nice thing that we don’t need/want. Frustrating!

          • I think if you say “No gifts allowed, except beer and wine,” you won’t get any fruit plates. Unless you are inviting well-meaning elderly aunts or something.

          • Although a plate of fruit would be OK, right? πŸ˜‰

          • Emmaleigh504

            what about boozy fruit plates??

          • Accountering

            I could get on board with a plate of fruit, but not the plate. We have plenty of plates πŸ™‚
            TBH I struggled with what to put in lieu of “fruit plate.” There is so many THINGS that we have, that we really don’t need. I have eliminated these things, and it is so liberating πŸ™‚

      • I really like Andie’s “poop sandwich” recommendations and other variations on that theme. I’m definitely going to do that. And keep a few items for visits/photos. I know she’ll be offended when she sees I haven’t kept everything, but I really just can’t. We really don’t have space for any extra stuff and I’m not due for several months yet. I’ve barely bought anything for the babies myself and don’t plan to for at least a month or two.

      • FWIW, telling my mom that we had too many clothes/stuff but then promising to let her know when we needed something (and following through) with more details has helped a LOT. She went on crazy Carters binges (it’s all on sale! and coupons!), but redirecting towards things we like & need has helped. My mom doesn’t seem to be nearly at the same place as yours, so it may not help as much–but fingers crossed it will.
        Agreed also with the suggestion of saving a few things you like & tossing/donating the rest.

        • ah my mom does the same thing. Same with MIL. I never like what they buy. If you WANT to help, get a gift card (or just money) or bring me with you shopping. I have just, with my mom/MIL, said we can’t use the stuff because he’s a weird size (he is, tall and skinny, so clothing is difficult). So frustrating, especially with all the good intentions of it all.

          • I’m super lucky because I was able to redirect my mom away from the super girly/pink stuff. And she sometimes drags my dad with her, who gravitates towards the cute animal stuff in the boys’ section. Now, knowing it’s a battle to get a dress/skirt on my tomboy daughter, it’s even easier to avoid the frilly stuff. Kiddo just won’t wear it! πŸ™‚

      • This sounds like my family. Feel free to donate. I got over the guilt of rehoming unwanted/unneeded holiday gifts a few years ago. What also helped me was having a very direct conversation with my mom, “We so appreciate you thinking of us, but we live in a very small apartment with limited storage. Please don’t spend your money on gifts. Your love is enough.” It has helped: we get checks for Christmas instead (not that we even insist or need that) and no more edges for every individual brownie pans.

        • Allison

          I’ve dealt with this issue by similarly explaining the space constraints, and asking for “consumables” for Christmas. So now they send me food items, usually. I often ask for spices for Christmas because they’re expensive, small, and I’m going to buy them for myself anyway.

          • I love the spice idea!

          • Yup – I do the same. No space to store stuff, so gifts need to be disposable, which means I can eat, drink, burn (candles) it, or wash it down the drain (body wash/perfume/lotion). My parents have moved on to an annual cash/stock gift at this point, thankfully.

        • On a wild tangent – who are these people who like brownie edges? Is it just me, or do those pans guarantee an excess of overcooked brownies, while robbing us of the center pieces – the golden rings o the brownie world? I’ve never understood this.

        • Accountering

          What if you asked for cash instead? Say that college costs $20,000/year right now, and will be $50,000/year by the time the twins turn 18. Perhaps ask for $ for their 529 savings plan – this is my gift to new moms. Super easy to shop for, and who doesn’t like the money for their kids future college?

          • Doesn’t college already cost $50,000/year (for a private university)?
            I have a feeling that Shawess’s mom won’t necessarily go for this — I suspect she likes the feeling of “personal” involvement, plus the bargain-hunting aspect. Worth trying, though.

          • This is DEFINITELY something I’m going to try to work into the poop sandwich. My parents love anything that has to do with college savings, so I could very reasonably ask them to not buy us *things* but instead contribute to a college fund.

          • Accountering

            That’s huge then. I would use this as the move! Perhaps send them some literature for the CA 529 plan? Or the website – she may get into the graphs and charts showing how $25/month now turns into tens of thousands by the time the twins are in school.

          • Textdoc is also right, though. I think she wants to feel like she’s “helping” us (even though she doesn’t really seem to care if we actually feel helped). That does seem to be connected to doing a whole lot of thrift shopping, for some reason.

          • My mom always feels helpful when she’s buying things for us and her grandkids. I’ve managed to get her to hear my storage issue, so she doesn’t get my little decorative stuff. I’ve also managed to get her to see that the gifts she loves are not also the gifts I love. I’ve never known someone with such an insatiable need to notepads. I tell her that I just don’t use them as much, so it’s wasteful to buy me any more.
            The kid stuff is so hard though. My mom doesn’t listen most of the time and my sister’s house is overflowing. I nudge my mom that the kids have too many toys whenever I can and that sometimes helps.
            If she really want to buy used, direct her to a consignment shop. The prices are still good, but the condition is better overall.

          • If you go the 529 route, don’t automatically use CA’s. The state tax deduction is enticing, but in many jurisdictions (DC, for one), the tax benefit is more than offset by the fees charged either by the program or the funds. (Note – I don’t know anything about CA’s 529.) We have one in Utah, for example, which has low fees.

        • “edges for every individual brownie pans” — I didn’t know such a thing existed. I agree with dcd that the non-edge pieces are better, but I guess if you preferred edge pieces those pans would be handy?

          • It is basically a grid that you pour the batter into and then bake. Perhaps a benefit to edge-lovers. But just imagine scrubbing all those corners! Never gonna happen in my dishwasher-less kitchen. πŸ™‚

          • Emmaleigh504

            so like a square muffin pan? wtf people.

      • Accountering

        Yuck. Toss it in the bin. Well, donate the stuff that is nice, but the rest in the bin.

    • Is there a way to not raise a stink, but say you don’t really want the behavior? “Mom, I really appreciate that you’re showing love by giving us all of the baby furniture, but we had really hoped to shop for ourselves. I know you mean well, and we appreciate the intention, but I’d very much appreciate it if you would stop doing that.”

      And, yes, I know it is easier said than done and doesn’t work on a whole lot of people. Good luck.

      • Another thing to do is just create a HUGE Amazon wish-list of stuff you like. That way, she can pop on there and buy things as you add them. Even though you’re stressed and crunched for time, I think you’ll need to meet her halfway by directing her desire to be involved. If you don’t give her specific guidance, she’ll just start doing things off-the-cuff.

    • It can be really difficult – I had to (and have to) balance two very different personalities while pregnant, a time when one is most vulnerable (well, less so than immediate post-partum). If you are able, can you have a mediated discussion with her? I have a pretty good relationship with my mom, but once I got PPD/PPA, I felt like she was (and still feel!) hindering my need to get help. Just suck it up. I could never at all vent about the negative realities of new parenthood. It fed my anxiety like I was somehow messed up because I had a hard time nursing, had a kid who wouldn’t sleep, ect. She’d say things like “I recovered fine from c-sections/I never had issues nursing”). She is partly why my health (mental and physical) has suffered so much in the almost 2 years since having my son. PLEASE don’t let it fester if you can somehow avoid it. We all love you, and it’s really hard to go through this without a supportive parent – and worse to go through with a parent who THINKS they’re supportive. It’s just so hard. I’m sorry you have to deal with it.

  • Emmaleigh504

    PSA: Unofficial HH Oct 15 at Southern Hospitality. Theme: hats!

  • Rant: Frantically trying to prepare for a meeting this evening that somehow gets more and more complicated with every freaking email.
    Rave: I should remember to wear my computer/reading glasses more often. It really does seem to help.
    Rant: I’m hungry already.

  • Rant: Can’t get started today despite looming deadlines and a hefty to-do list.

    Rave: Date night with Mr. Georgetowner. We’re planning an absurdly early dinner in Columbia Heights, but since I am the Oldest Person on Popville, I don’t know where to go. Suggestions?

    • You could try to get into Bad Saint since you’re going early. I always enjoy The Coupe, Maple and Kangaroo Boxing Club.

      • Accountering

        I agree with this. If you are going to the 4:30pm dinner special, may as well knock out the fanciest newest restaurant in CH?

    • I Dont Get It

      You are not the oldest person on PoPville BTW.

      • IDGI, I’d challenge you to a geriatric arm wrestling match at the next happy hour if were weren’t both too old to go to happy hours. I’m pretty sure I beat you on the age front and already wear the Oldest Person on Popville crown. Unless — gasp — you, too, are a boomer?

        Everyone else, thanks so much for the recommendations. I’m adding all of them to our list of future Bust-the-Rut dining options.

        • I Dont Get It

          There are a handful of boomers on here that I know of. I think there are a few others but they haven’t figured out how to post yet.

        • There are other boomers here. We know how to post. We worked with computers when you had to type actual commands, pre-windows, and even typed JCL punchcards before that. We are far more computer literate (those who aren’t actual programmers) than the young folks as a result.

          • anonymouse_dianne

            +1000 LOL

            I am famous for tripping crossing K street to go to the RJE and dropping an un-interpreted deck of cards including JCL. From then on forward they were always interpreted before they went into the box. Remember when everything had to fit into 64 MG? Kids today are so spoiled!

    • Thip Khao, if that’s to your taste. Maple is pretty good as well. El Chucho (is it still corn season?) If you enjoy terrible service, definitely try the Coupe.

      • Yes, Maple is way better than Coupe. Coupe is run by the people who own Diner and Tryst, and all have made me sick to my stomach often enough that I don’t eat there anymore.

  • Rave: Good friend’s last round of chemo – she’s incredible and she’s been through so much this year.
    Rant: Still has a big surgery in front of her.
    Rave: I’m a godmother and will meet the little one on Saturday.
    Rant: Little bugger was born while I was outta town for work for four weeks, then the Pope came and I couldn’t get to see them (they live in Philly) and now I’m packing to move half my life to NYC. So I’ll see him this Saturday but while in the throes of a super stressful, very confusing move.
    Rant: Dealing with stress over the move, feeling inadequate because everything in our family is now all baby, all the time, and overwhelmed at it all.

    • “everything in our family is now all baby, all the time” — Wait… are you pregnant??? Or is your goddaughter a niece or something?

      • Nope – not pregnant (wasn’t allowed to for 5 years…). Just that my family (brothers, sisters-in-law, parents, etc.) are concentrating solely on the baby all the time now. I’m respecting that but am in the throes of some crazy stuff and feel like I cannot interject/seek out support because I’d be removing the focus. So I’m struggling silently (well, and posting to PoPville about it)…

        • There is a really great secret (closed) Facebook support group for people dealing with all kinds of struggles with having babies — infertility, adoption, etc. — called Creating a Family. I found it really helpful for dealing with infertility issues when it seemed like everyone I knew was having babies and I felt left out. That might be another good outlet. It’s a big group and people there are really supportive.

          • Thanks so much for reaching out – I’ve been dealing with other medical issues that have prevented me from having a child (docs told me to wait 5 years for my health and still want me on some serious meds if i get pregnant), so not dealing infertility as of yet but am very appreciative of the support and will look towards this group if when we start trying, we end up dealing with this.

          • thanks for this – I’m going to check it out too

      • Sorry – I understand your question now – yea, my godson is also my nephew. The first born in the family.

        • If it makes you feel any better, I was finishing my PhD & buying a house at the same time my parents were planning my sister’s wedding. We had to make a quick decision on whether to make an offer on our house (24-hour turnaround or so), and when I called to ask for advice was basically told they had no idea since they hadn’t seen the house & were wrapped up in wedding planning. So I feel your pain!

  • Rave: Finally went to the Newseum for the first time this weekend, since it was free on Saturday.
    Rave: Went to A Baked Joint this weekend, and thought it was fantastic. I wish I lived closer… On the other hand maybe not, would spend way too much money and gain way too much weight. But their chai and bread! Yum!
    Rant: My cooking. It always seems to be bland, despite following recipes. πŸ™ I wish that I had been more interested in cooking when I lived at home, since my mom is an amazing cook.
    Rant: I decided to open a new okcupid account over the weekend. Having second thoughts about that already… Man I hate dating. At least I provide entertainment for friends by sending them the weird messages I get/profiles I come across. One winner is a guy who posted that “Being a mom and wife is more empowering than a corporate slave” and “most girls with relationship problems are the career-oriented ones”. Yeah, good luck with that attitude in DC, dude.

    • Ewww, what a gross attitude. I hope that no woman would subject herself to a jerk like that.

    • holy sh#t! When I was trying match.com or eharmony or one of those things many years ago in DC, I got into a similar conversation (probably not with the same guy, but still, the fact that there are multiples of those types of guys is awful!) The caveman attitude is really not a turn on. at all.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I ran into one of those when I was online dating too πŸ™ So sad there are multiples in our “progressive” area.

      • That guy didn’t actually send me a message, saw it right on his profile page while browsing quickmatch (along with long rants about similar things). So… at least it’s front and center there as the perfect warning sign!

    • Wonder what he would make of those of us who have careers and kids??

    • New spices could do the trick.

      Alternatively, I recommend cutting out salty food for a week or 2 everything will taste better. Restaurants are esp. salt heavy around here.

      • That could be it, I do eat out a lot for dinner (cook lunch for every day but I tend to be out and about in the evenings).

    • emvee

      Check out Smitten Kitchen and Budget Bytes (particularly Budget Bytes) for great, pretty easy recipes. Budget Bytes is great at making sure they’re affordable and I always like how simple they are. You can do this!
      Re: online dating, I found it helped when you don’t even finish reading those messages and just delete them like an unwanted coupon from JCrew in your inbox. Act like it was never there, and it’s not so bad.

      • Yes, I like both those blogs! πŸ™‚ I get a lot of ideas from Pinterest and have a number of recipes collected from them. I should get into watching cooking shows to for better preparation tips, maybe. I just always forget I actually have cable now, haha.
        Yeah, I usually do just delete but I just feel overwhelmed (especially since I started a new account instead of reactivating my old one, and I guess they super promote new accounts).

    • binpetworth

      So, you’re saying Josh Duggar is on OKCupid now?

      • Haha well, he can’t exactly go back to using Ashley Madison now!
        (Actually, I think I remember reading that they did find out he’d been using okcupid, but with a random guy’s photos…)

        • Emmaleigh504

          yep, he had an okcupid account with some random’s photos. Anna supposedly (run Anna, run!) left him, so maybe he’s back on.

    • That One Guy

      What did you get at the Baked Joint?

  • Rave: Really great trip to New York. And also ended up being (seen as) best boyfriend ever, which was nice because it was Girlfriend’s birthday.
    Rant: getting up at 5AM to catch the train.
    Rave: At least it was a half hour later than I get up to row.

    Hint: In terms of high-end dining, Batard practically qualifies as a bargain with menus $55-$75; it delivers really excellent food and you can wear your grungiest jeans. Two thumbs up.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Duke Cannon Big *ss Bricks of Soap! It’s almost like getting a workout in the shower lifting one of those bad boys.
    Rave: I know some expressed concern since I went off antidepressants without medical supervision, but I tapered off gradually and it’s been over 5 weeks now since I’ve had one and I feel great! Since I could no longer remember why I was on antidepressants I think it was time to wean myself off them.
    Rave: Wearing the first sweater vest of the season and I look like Chandler Bing’s taller, more buff younger brother.
    Rave: I roasted butternut squash last night in coconut oil and it was delicious!

  • Rave – Getting married this weekend!!
    Rant – This weekend’s weather forecast. A tropical storm?? Really? We’ve had a stretch of beautiful sunny days in DC, figures there’s a tropical storm the weekend of my wedding. It’s almost comical how bad my luck is with weather. We have a indoor plan for the wedding, but I’m worried about people traveling and hope no one has issues with flights and such.
    Rave – OK, pity party about the weather is over, because I’m still getting married!
    Rant – Can’t get anything done at work this week.

  • Rant: Nationals season ending
    Rave: Nationals season ending

  • Rave: Taking a rare day off yesterday for myself was fantastic. Really enjoyed the Gustave Caillebotte exhibition at NGA.
    Rant: People who ignore out of office messages!
    Rant: Saw the single most amazingly awful and dangerous driving stunt I’ve ever seen in DC. Mid-afternoon on Sunday, I saw someone stop and pull-off a three point turn around right in the middle of a fairly busy Rock Creek Parkway. I can’t believe there wasn’t a pile-up!

  • Rant: Supposed to be running a 5k on Saturday, but I am woefully out of shape and haven’t run in months. Very disappointed in myself. I have allowed my health to take a back seat to just about everything else that goes on in my life (kids, work, relationship) and have simply not made time for myself. I used to love running, not even so much for the health/physical aspect, but because I love the peace it gave me. I have to find time to start up again.
    Rant: Holiday planning. It has already started. With multiple blended families, it is always tough finding time to schedule holiday get together with the various families, and I really wish my mom would have a little bit more compassion for the situation. Instead, what ends up happening is that she attempts to dictate a Christmas visit on her terms without a care for anyone else’s schedule. It’s so very frustrating, causes a great deal of anxiety, and only gets worse as the holidays approach. It really actually affects my ability to even enjoy the holidays.

    • IIRC, you were also looking for things to fill up some empty time/space/capacity, particularly with the LDR. Perhaps running would fit the bill since it requires minimal equipment and can be tailored to your time constraints?

      • Yes, you are correct. Running is slightly difficult though. I could go in the morning while the kids are still asleep and won’t give my housemate much trouble, but then it’s pretty dark (would have to go at about 6 to get home in time for the morning routine). Evenings are out because starting within the next week or so I will start my side gig, and so evenings will be devoted to that (which will really help filling my non-kid time with the LDR). I just need to quit making excuses really. Even a half hour in the morning would be a great first step back in the right direction.

        • I get that. If you feel safe in your neighborhood, running in the dark should be fine. Get some good reflective/lighted gear and you’ll be good to go. I can offer recommendations if you need them. And even 20-30 minutes would be very beneficial. I used to run in the morning & loved it. Looking forward to getting back to it eventually.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Awesome staff meeting today that started with a hypothetical ethical questions and ended with irreverent answers to why we love the humanities. I love my job.
    Rave: My answer was the best one.

  • Rant: people who say “hey let’s get dinner” and spend an hour contemplating where to go.
    Revel: no crying in a week
    Rant: still struggling to keep up with work

  • Rave: Most of my small annoying tasks are finished. Always nice to cross things off the to do list.
    Rave: A referral that I gave a friend was really useful for her family member. It always feels good to help people.
    Rant; This weather. Please rain, for the sake of my poor sinuses.

  • Rave: thanks for all y’alls help on pricing our condo. I emailed our agent and gave her the price, a compromise. She sort of doesn’t agree with it, but it’s not right to list something well below what we would take for it and let buyers deal with bidding up. Thank you all!
    Rave: MacArthur Foundation winners are all wonderful
    Rave: Parents leave for France – finally, privacy!
    Rant: Floor refinishing, the last big hurdle to our house, is going to be delayed because they are booked. Even though I said “these are the days we will probably be looking at” and was told great, they’ll be available. So that sets us back a week. Can’t do so much until the floors are done (window treatments, Elfa, furniture delivery)
    Rave: Husband got his leave pay out.
    Rant: Would have been SO much better if he’d been able to take the leave like I have been able to do

    • Accountering

      Woohoo! Sounds like it worked out well! Glad I was able to help, and Go Caps! πŸ™‚

      • is this a comment on the Flyers? Cuz if so, I seriously couldn’t care less about them πŸ™‚ My agent’s email back wasn’t pleasing to me, like we were alienating buyers or something. It was weird and a bit passive aggressive. My husband said this will cause work for her, whereas the lower price, it sells itself and she just has to advertise it.

        • Accountering

          I agree with your husband – based on all that you have said, I am not a big fan of your realtor πŸ™‚ Seems like it will all work out in the end – but she is not making this process any easier by constantly making you second guess her and causing stress.

          • I disagree here. I think ignoring her advice may not cost you anything, but it’s got to be frustrating for her. If someone ignored your professional advice, you would be annoyed. She has to stay friendly, but she doesn’t have to like it.

          • But I don’t think that her advice was necessarily in OUR best interest. It was definitely in HER interest. But possibly not ours.

          • HaileUnlikely

            It’s a tricky situation. What is in anybody’s best interest is highly subjective. You know your realtor and I do not, so I do not know whether this is likely to be a factor here, but I know a lot of good people who have an almost pathological inability to comprehend perspectives other than their own. I suspect that she really truly believes that her approach will yield a result that she considers to be optimal with respect to some function of speed and money, and that she is unable to grasp that somebody else might not consider that to be optimal.

          • well, I DO think she understands our side but perhaps she did a poor job explaining her side (I see both sides, faster/above asking vs. best price).

        • I would seriously want to reach through my computer and slap that agent.
          WTF does “alienate buyers” even mean?!?

          • The agents perspective is this: when people go online and search for under $500k (which is where a bulk of buyers start their search these days), JinDC’s unit is not going to pop up in their search. She’s not alienating buyers with her price, she’s just not going to reach as many by pricing her unit slightly above $500k. If your upper range is $550k/$600k, are you looking for a 1br den? probably not. If your upper range is $500k, are you thrilled to get a den when you were just thinking you would get a 1br (and therefore, be willing to pay a bit more), maybe. I feel obligated to explain this because 1) I’m an agent, and would’ve recommended the same pricing strategy; 2) this strategy is simply to get your listing in front of the most people possible 3) the agent and JinDC agree that the unit is worth more than that and 4) at that price, it would likely sell above asking quickly (just like the last unit that this agent helped her sell). They will be fine at the higher price point, but instead of looking at 6 offers, 2 of which escalate to a price they want, maybe now they’re looking at 2 or 3. Either way they sell their condo, and most likely at around the same price.

          • I think where we disagree – as a buyer, I wouldn’t add 25k to a 500k and below unit. I’ve been a buyer. If the “goal” is, say, 535 (just throwing a number out there), I’m not sure many in the under $550 range have an extra 25-35 to add to it. Like Accountering said, he would move on. So would I. I also think that under 600k, a 2 bedroom in a nice building with parking is exceptionally rare. The 2 bed in our building went for almost 800. I, personally, am fine with 499. I wasn’t fine with my husband complaining about it forever. I think there is definitely an aspect of what you say, Andie, that’s right – “oh look at this extra space). As a previous buyer more than once in DC, I wouldn’t be pleased if a 499 listing (for which I would probably offer 505 as a buyer) was aiming towards much higher and kept countering. I would move on. If I had 550k to buy, I would be pleased at a lower price. Having looked at 2 bedrooms before we learned we were moving from DC, there were basically zero under 600k in our area of the city. With parking, nada. We looked because we wanted to buy (but fortunately, got a house for MUCH lower than that:) )

        • There’s really no reason to speculate – we’ll be able to see in short order whether advice was good or bad. Not definitively, but if there isn’t any interest, or it stays on the market for an extended period, of time, she may have been right. If it sells quickly for asking or above, she was absolutely wrong. We’ll all be anxiously awaiting the verdict.

          • agree – the good news is that my husband IS the type to say “I was wrong”, whereas if I had firmly said no, we’re going with the agent’s strategy, he would have constantly told me how much more we could have gotten (which we wouldn’t know). He does this with out other unit she sold, but I’m thrilled with how it went. It’s just a significantly different buyer than this place. And I’m thrilled that we took in to account the person buying the other unit over a couple k more of an offer.

          • ….I also think our agent is great. I am not annoyed at her other than the feeling I get from her emails that she doesn’t support our decision. Which makes me question everything, which I feel isn’t good for an Agent to do (I want to be comfortable with it). In this exact situation, it’s not ideal because my husband wants one thing, she wants another, and I just don’t appreciate being in the middle. But I am the one who communicates because my husband is in class all day. So I’m annoyingly in the middle between the person I’m married to and an agent I do think is very good. So my only real choice was to get them to agree to split the difference. Even if she’s right, I couldn’t live with my husband bitching about it until settlement and beyond. #Israeliproblems

          • Oh, I’m the same as your husband, and I’m as waspy as you can get. “I told you so’s” know no nationality.
            Knowing no details whatsoever, I think you did the right thing. When we sold our place, our realtor told us that of course, the worst thing you can do is price a place too high. But a close second is to price it too low – people who would be willing to pay your asking or more may not even look at it, and there are psychological barriers to escalating to the same level for a lower listing. (In other words, buyers may be willing to escalate a $550,000 list to $600,000, but may only be wiling to escalate the same place listed at $500,000 to $575,000.) If you list too low, you’ll sell, but you’ll leave money on the table. The trick is finding that sweet spot. In our case, I as the one who wanted the lower listing, but everyone else involved (my wife and the agent) convinced me otherwise. Boy, was I wrong.

    • I was reading the NYT’s article on the MacArthur grant winners and thought from the photo that dancer/choreographer Michelle Dorrance looked a LOT like M’Liss Dorrance, a dancer and teacher who did the choreography for a musical I was in as a kid.
      Turns out she’s her daughter.

    • You did what you did – the market will tell you who was right in the end. I’m guessing it will be you – it is a crazy market, and will sell for close to ask or over. If you want over 500K, no reason to have all the ones looking to pay less than 500K coming through.

  • Rant: Work computer not working. Called IT at 7:45 and in typical federal government fashion, it’s still not fixed. On the dinky intern computer atm.
    Rant: Hungry. Might just eat lunch now and escape to the cafeteria or library or somewhere until it gets fixed.
    Rant: Had a noon deadline on something today that I haven’t been able to do because of aforementioned broken computer. So I have to at least look like I’m trying to get it in… ugh.

  • Rant: was kind of hoping to go into labor to avoid giving a presentation today. Although there are two hours before it’s scheduled start, I think I’m out of luck. Probably for the best, but wahhh! I don’t wanna!

  • Rant: I feel like every time I try to get more sleep I’m thwarted by something. I got in bed at 9:30 last night(!!!!!!) and at 1:30 am a jewelry organizer that has been hanging on my wall for more than a year fell off. To say I was scared sh!tless was an understatement. It took a while to fall back to sleep after that.
    Rave: Otis is the best and is going to make a great wingman.
    Rave: Dogvacay! Thanks for the tip Pixie! I have reservations for Otis for my Iceland trip. I was also looking at doggie daycare on there just for fun. I found one guy who is awesome but I kind of want to know if he’s single. Using Dogvacay for dating is probably wrong.
    Rant: speaking of dating, I’m not really doing any. Oh well, I’ve been staying busy and having fun.

    • I had to chuckle at “Using Dogvacay for dating is probably wrong.” πŸ™‚

    • Accountering

      I would approve of using Dogvacay for dating. I am not sure how you segway from “can I pay you to watch my dog” to “lets grab beers” but I could see it going well.
      You should give it a shot.

      • emvee

        Bonus is that, right off the bat, you know he’s a dog person.

      • That One Guy

        I’d wait until you’re back from you vacation so you can gauge how the dog is doing. If the dog is well and you don’t see any issues you can mention that you’ll be making some pumpkin beer and would he like some and take it from there.

        • Oh, this guy isn’t watching my dog over my vacation, he’s just someone I saw who offers doggie daycare. My dog walker is getting another job (yay for her!!) and I was thinking about looking to some doggie daycare.

      • Definitely can’t hurt to strike up some conversations! πŸ™‚

    • Glad it worked out for you! And I think Dogvacay has potential for finding fellow animal lovers… I don’t think it’s wrong!

    • Emmaleigh504

      I have a coworker who found her husband through her apartment building cat sitting exchange. Pets are a great way to find friends and romances!

  • Rant: Why oh why did I turn on CSPAN?

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: Family trip to the tattoo parlor coming up!
    Super Rave: Niece wants one and I offered to pay!

  • Rant: Groggy (as usual).
    Rant: Not as well-organized as I ought to be.

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