Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Pablo Raw

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

229 Comment

  • rave: social distortion absolutely killed it last night

  • Rant: Spilling part of my smoothie on my keyboard is NOT a good way to start the work day.
    Rave: The weather this morning! Hello glimmers of fall.
    Rave: Dinner with a dear friend last night. So lovely to catch up.
    Rant/Rave: Lots of deadlines this week, but I’m feeling motivated to crank out some work.

  • Rave: Finally taking some PTO days tomorrow and Friday (first time all summer).
    Rant: Have to get through a monster to-do list today and all I want to do at the moment is read Popville.

  • Rave: The week is half-way over.
    Rave: I have plans tomorrow and Friday evening. Woooo.
    Rant: Someone in my office was threw up yesterday and went home early, and now everything feels germy and I feel paranoid.
    Rant: Realizing that even though I’d like to go out and date more, it has been over a year since I’ve felt like I had butterflies in my stomach because of anyone, even people I’ve ended up seeing for several weeks. I suppose this could change at any time, but. Womp womp womp. Maybe datings actually not for me these days.
    Unknown: As I was typing this, an ex just texted me. What is my life.

    • You take public transit…That’s dirtier than your office. At least you know someone got sick

      • That is a very valid point. I have a bottle of hand sanitizer on my desk and will be using it liberally today. Thanks, Anon Spock. Needed some perspective there.

        • I’m so the opposite. Never touch the stuff. Not sure if I’ve always been this way but doing martial arts really has helped that become a non-issue.
          Unless they have Ebola (which I’m sure they don’t), you probably couldn’t catch out today…it could also be food poisoning 🙂

          • +1. Hand sanitizer is such a racket.

          • Plus, doesn’t all this all this sanitization overkill create super bugs? Which is why hospitals are a great place to pick up nasty infections like MRSA.

          • Hand sanitizer is 98% alcohol. It’s not what’s causing superbugs. These factors are (to the best of my recollection) what’s causing superbugs:
            – overprescribing of antibiotics and people not taking the entire course of antibiotics as directed.
            – widespread use of antibiotics in livestock (though there’s some debate about this)
            Triclosan, an antibacterial agent that used to be present in many liquid hand soaps, seems to have been retired out of concern that it might contribute to antibiotic resistance.
            Hospitals have often facilitated the spread of superbugs by not following proper practices with regard to sanitation.

          • I might be wrong on that percentage. But the active ingredient in hand sanitizer is alcohol, and my recollection is that hand sanitizer has a high percentage of alcohol.

          • Mine is 70% alcohol! I just looked. And you are right, textdoc, about the superbug thing, it’s an antibiotic resistance issue. I’m sure there’s other issues with hand sanitizer, but I don’t think we need to all panic about resistence to MRSA/TB/etc.

    • As I’ve posted this before, Venus is in retrograde until Sept 6. Not a good time to date or start relationships. Never believed in this stuff, but it all makes sense considering the funk I’ve been in for since July. Here’s hoping that Labor Day is the beginning of a better dating scene for everyone.

      • Thanks, NotABot. I’m thinking there is something to this venus in retrograde thing. Too bad because I start classes again on September 1st, and from past experience, trying to start dating after that doesn’t go over very well. I might be out of the ring until December!

      • Pablo Raw

        I absolutely don’t believe in that or horoscopes or hand reading, etc. The RRRR is evidence that people have problems and success with dating regardless of Venus, Mars or Jupiter!

      • Finally, an explanation for why the latest dates have been so bad!

  • Rave: Oh what a beautiful morning! This weather is glorious!
    Rave: It’s my birthday! Taking tomorrow off to be lazy, do some shopping, just chill, etc!
    Rant: How does time fly by so fast?! Feeling bummed to be so far from my nephews, they’re growing up too fast, meanwhile I’m getting wrinkles and still somehow not quite where I thought I’d be in life… (don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty happy withe where I am in general, just feels odd to think about where I’d like to go eventually and how time just seems to be ticking away!)
    Rave: Overall, a pretty great day already!

  • Q: I’ve been considering getting a bike for YEARS, and it occurs to me that I could commute to/from work using the MBT. What’s the consensus on the general safety of going this route (hah, pun!), for the stretch from Brookland all the way downtown?

    • Pablo Raw

      I use it sometimes and I have never had any problems; I’ve seen police patrolling it on foot, bike and even cars. Depending on the time of the day, there’s a lot of people using it also. It’s too bad that every once in a while something happens because there’s no easier way to get from where I work to Noma and Union Station area.

    • Not a rider but I’ve heard it’s well used during normal hours. I haven’t heard about any robberies in a while, and I think mpd stepped up patrols.

      • You don’t ride, you’ve heard some things, you think something? Maybe you don’t need to give advice on this topic.

        • I’m relaying comments from a similar question in a bikers group. If you noticed, my comment mirrors the person who rides it above. Thanks for your opinion though.

        • I do love the penchant for snide comments from all these anon for this folks. Let me go anon to be a jerk…sounds about right.

        • Accountering

          You felt that strongly, that you needed to go AnonForThis to make that comment? That was less than helpful.

  • Rave: More fun stuff this week.
    Rave: Maintenance finally came and no more ants.
    Rave: Last part of my refund came from dc. Only took 8 months total. 🙁
    Rave: Rant isn’t worth mentioning.
    Rave: Big interview tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

  • Rave: SO told the office that he’s leaving for that awesome position in NYC so it’s out in the open and that feels good. And we got an apartment in the Village.
    Rant: Need a day where I don’t have to make any decisions, go through any to-do list or worry about any loved ones.
    Rave: Went out with good friends from my time in London for dinner last night and caught up.
    Rave: No plans tonight so might try really really hard to ignore everything I need to do…

  • Rant: My crappy bike was stolen yesterday in broad daylight. It was locked up in front of my house with a U-lock (they sawed it off – I know this because they kindly left the lock on the ground). I know that U-locks aren’t perfect…. so I supplemented my locking system with a car-club on the frame (which makes it very difficult to turn the peddles). I also take my bike seat inside every night. You would think this would be a very uncomfortable ride for anyone who was looking to steal a bike…Plus – at most it’s worth $60…it hardly seems worth the effort… And yet – the little mother#uckers stole my bike! It was a piece of crap but it was my piece of crap. “sigh”
    Rave: My wonderful neighbors are more upset about it then I am. I love my my block!

    • Sorry that happened! You locked it properly and took precautions! I guess bike parts are valuable.

    • Sorry about your bike being stolen. Sounds like even if a bike is not worth much and locked down well, it is still vulnerable to a determined thief. What craziness! Short of getting an old, rusty used bike, I was encouraged to spray paint and mess up the finish of my $500 mid-range bike because it would supposedly discourage thieves, but even that wouldn’t stop someone if they were looking for parts. I keep mine in my small apartment overnight so I don’t have to worry- during the day it is in a secured location. Happy hunting for a new bike- maybe this is a good excuse to try something new?!

  • Rant: Cranky upon seeing that a 311 request I made has been closed out, with the inspector claiming that there was no overgrowth or trash at the site (the alley behind a neighbor’s house). Unless there was some kind of magical cleanup between last night and when the inspection took place this morning, there are thick patches of weeds that are 3 feet tall, plus a set of random IKEA-type bed slats discarded among the weeds.
    Rant: It really should not be so hard to get DPW (and other D.C. government agencies) to enforce existing regulations.
    Rant: Slacker neighbors who can’t be bothered to mow their lawns/weeds or do anything about weeds growing in (or next to) the alley.

    • SouthwestDC

      I was worried for a second that you were my neighbor! I was out of town for 6 weeks and there were weeds the size of small trees in the alley when I got back! And then someone (heard a rumor it was Gene Weingarten’s son) left an ugly old sofa bed back there. It was looking really rough! The sofa bed’s been removed and I cut down the worst of the weeds but I’ll admit still needs some more work.

      • Glad to hear you’re working on the weeds. Wish I could say the same for this particular neighbor and others along my alley!
        I tried to cut down all of my alley’s weeds-that-had-turned-into-trees in late winter/early spring, but of course they’ve grown back. There is a limit to the amount of time and energy I’m willing to spend taking care of sh1t that my neighbors ought to be taking care of themselves. Same goes for litter on sidewalks and in treebox areas — I gave myself tendinitis cleaning up my entire block, so now I clean up only in front of my house and one or two house on either side.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Your rant reminds me of my dad mowing the lawn. Our terrible neighbor mowed their lawn all the freaking time. He mowed bald spots into the lawn! Anyway, to mess with him, my dad wouldn’t mow as soon as it was needed, he always waited until the day after the neighbor mowed. And of course, the neighbor would mow again as soon as my dad was done. #LawnWarsInTheSuburbs

  • Rave: I bought a lot of groceries last night and I am excited for cooking at home again!

    Rant: Having to explain to one of the people in my firm that they need to really step it up, them telling me they know how to do what was being asked of them, me then saying “Okay, well then, what is this?” and them not knowing. SO frustrating. Not just for me but for everyone here who depends on this person not only knowing how to do all of the things he’s supposed to do, but getting them done in a timely fashion.

    Rave: 2nd date with the guy from a couple of weeks ago, and 2 first dates lined up the week after Labor Day. I am hoping for that butterflies feeling but we’ll see what happens.

    Rave: Free Happy Hour with two amazing friends tonight!

    • Wow! So many dates. I applaud you. I hope they’re excellent!

      • I hope they are too. 2nd date guy is charming and is doing very well at courting me (do people court nowadays)? But I don’t have any fluttering feelings, it’s just really nice to be treated well and respected. The other two seem nice so far, but I haven’t met them yet.

        • Aw, well, my fingers are crossed for you! And I like when people try to court me — I think some people still do it! — but I know other people here have different opinions on this.

          • I like it too, I am very impressed. I am just going to take things as they go, and not try to think too hard about it. This living in the moment thing is new.

        • Is this the guy who called to schedule a date? If so, I like him even more! I’m pro-courting.

        • Emmaleigh504

          watch out for using “courting” it has taken on a new meaning. the quiverful folks and other fundies use it for their bizarre form of pre-marriage dating but no dating b/c dating is evil. courting means awkward side hugs and no other touching until the engagement portion of the pre-marraige dating but not dating b/c dating is evil. When they get engaged they can hold hands!

          • I am completely fascinated by the quiverfolks and I am not ashamed to say it. I’m just sad I can’t see the show now that I know what’s going on. 🙂

          • Emmaleigh504

            I fondly call them “skirt people”. And I am fascinated too. A lot of the younger women (quiverful in general, not the Duggars) have started covering their heads. I’ve gotten sucked down many a “modest homesteading” blogs. Seriously, modest homesteading is a thing now!

  • Rave: Humans of New York on the road.
    Rant: Men in pleated trousers without belts.

  • Crowd Source: Honeymoon/Big Trip: We have absolutely no idea where to go. I am relatively well traveled however my fiancé has been on a plane exactly once in his life. We want to go somewhere that there are interesting things to do and places to explore as well as do some relaxing (read: not necessarily into the all inclusive resort type place). We can’t really afford something super extravagant (ex: Bora Bora, Thailand, etc). I need a light at the end of the tunnel to save for (this will also be my reward to myself for finishing grad school – hence the light at the end of the tunnel). Any suggestions?

    • I wouldn’t rule out a place like Thailand — historically, it’s been expensive to get to, but cheap once you’re there.
      And these days, it might not even be more expensive to get to. Last time I was checking flight prices, flights from D.C. to Bangkok and D.C. to Hong Kong were actually cheaper than flights from D.C. to London, which seemed counterintuitive. Maybe there’s more competition on those routes.

      • My wife and I honeymooned in Thailand and loved it. Textdoc is right–the flights can be pricey but once you get there expenses are much lower than in Europe or many other places that are cheaper to get to.

        • SouthwestDC

          I wouldn’t even say the flights are pricey. Last year we impulsively decided to go during peak travel season, and only 3 weeks in advance, and tickets were $850/person. I’ve seen even better deals since then.

    • If you haven’t been there, Curacao. We went on our honeymoon and it was the best trip I’ve ever taken. Great mix between relaxing and adventures. I mean, what beats a day on a beautiful beach followed by a visit to an ostrich farm?

    • Check out Corsica – one of my favorite places. Beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains (like Grand Teton scale), villages, paleolithic ruins, 2 nice sized cities. English isn’t used as much as other European destinations, but you can usually make do, especially if you can speak a little French or German.

    • What time of year are you considering making the trip? If it’s going to be summer-ish, I highly recommend Norway. If you travel to Bergen, you’re able to do some trips through the fjords, and you have access to hiking, museums, and a vibrant little city right in Bergen. I know Norway sounds super expensive, but look into flights on Norwegian Airlines (direct from JFK to many spots in Scandinavia) – flights will run you no more than $600 round-trip per person, and if you find an apartment through Air-BnB, you can easily keep the costs around $1500 per person (for the whole shebang!), depending on the length of your stay.

    • The small islands in the bahamas rival the beauty of bora bora and are close/spectacular and cheap. They also have cabanas that look out over the water and private beaches. It is the BEST and in our own backyard. Save that money!

      • Accountering

        We are doing that this winter I believe. I am excited! Went to Nassau this past Feb, and will do one of the smaller islands this Feb.

        • Crooked Island Bahamas was my favorite of the small islands. I’m not sure what accommodations are there now, (this was 20 years ago and I was on a sailboat) But if you enjoy snorkeling & scuba it is about the best in the Bahamas. Easy snorkeling just off the beach and a fantastic wall for diving. I know we also stopped at Long Island, Rum Cay & Mayaguana, but I’d have to dig out the logbook to tell you more. I do remember good staghorn coral at Long Island.

    • Amsterdam via Iceland on WOW air or Icelandic. Someone recently posted suggestions for a day or two in Iceland, and I’m sure PoPvillagers can give lots of recommendations for Amsterdam and nearby areas.
      Also consider Belize, or Costa Rica.
      Or Ireland, or Croatia

      • Any advice on visiting Iceland? I’m torn between planning a late fall or winter trip to see the Northern Lights and do winter outdoor activities, or waiting until spring. I hear summer is high season for good reason because of the better weather and more attractions open to the public but also $$$.

        • Someone posted on Aug 21st’s R&R some recommendations for sights in Iceland, as to timing there are pros and cons to each season but I’d go when there is the greatest chance to see the Northern Lights.

    • We did Turkey (Istanbul, Cappadocia, Antalya, the Turquoise Coast) and Greece (Athens, Santorini, Rhodes) and loved every moment. There are great inexpensive flights to Istanbul from Dulles and getting around was relatively cheap.

      • +100 to turkey. didn’t do it for our honeymoon but loved it there. Plus as mentioned direct flights from dulles can make the traveling (for your soon to be husband who hasn’t done it much) easier.

    • FtLincolnLove

      We went to Maui for our honeymoon and it was PHENOMENAL. Hawaii is unreal- photos don’t do the islands justice. The flights are brutal, but well worth it! There are plenty of things to do if you are feeling adventurous (snorkel, hike, SUP, bike, horseback ride, etc) or you can just relax on the beach. You can definitely eat cheap if you hit up restaurants during happy hour or don’t mind splitting an appetizer/entree. We stayed on Maui the entire time, but from what I’ve heard, flights between all of the islands are pretty cheap if you want to island hop. Another plus- you don’t need a passport 🙂

    • France, of course. Probably the South. You can lie topless (though hardly anyone seems to do that anymore) on extravagant beaches or hole up in a rustic farmhouse and hike the garrigues. Eat peasant bread and stinky cheese from the local market or hunker down to three star dining. And, wherever you are, bathe yourself in good wine and wrap yourself in history. (OK, I’m clearly a fanboy, I admit it).

      • THIS! Although I would recommend if you’re going to the South of France, do it sometime between October-May, because the summers there can get intensely hot (sometimes 110+), and you run the risk of getting caught in some crazy wildfires.

        • Good point, though my last trip was in mid-September and both the fire danger and the tourists hordes seemed significantly diminished, while a lot of good produce was still hanging on in the markets (we hit the last week of good tomatoes in the market in Aix).

          • Nice! I miss Aix and the markets there so much! And the bread. The fresh, amazing baguettes you could get for 50 centimes! Nothing quite like it here (or for that cheap, either!)

    • SouthwestDC

      Check out this site for flight deals: https://www.exitfares.com/washingtondc
      I’ve never been to South America, so I can’t recommend anything, but flights to there have been particularly cheap lately. Brazil especially.

    • Two potential recommendations:
      1) Nicaragua – Lower airfares, accommodations at different price points, Pacific coast beaches, Caribbean islands and coast with a culture that is distinct from the western part of the country. Stare into active volcanoes and seek out hiking opportunities. Can go surfing and diving. Some basic Spanish would be helpful. Cons: Transportation is expensive unless you go budget (minibus, public bus (see: retrofitted school bus)). The seafood is good and cheap, but a lot of the standards are less impressive. I do count myself a fan of vigoron and nacatamales.
      This is where we went for our honeymoon.
      2) Greece – The economic crisis has led to some good prices once there, especially in the shoulder season (May, September). Airfare is around $850 from DC. Crete is great to visit. History, hiking, beautiful vistas, villages beaches and great food, and great people. Tons of other islands, not to mention the mainland.

  • Rant: The zipper on my purse broke. I love that purse but I don’t think it can be fixed.
    Rave: Veggie sushi rolls
    Rave: Only 2 more weeks until vacation time

  • Rave: will have a second date with Monday’s first date guy.
    Rant: I keep waking up at 4am and having a hard time getting back to sleep. I have a lot to do, but I’m half zombie.
    Weird: I walked by the Coupe this morning and it has signs up that say it’s temporarily closed. Not sure why, I didn’t see a failed inspection sticker, but I also didn’t look very hard. One of the lights on the light post outside had also broken and fallen to the ground. I don’t think that has anything to do with the Coupe closing, but I hope it didn’t fall on anyone or a car. Though there were some first responders there last night around 6:30 when I walked by. Anyone know what happened?

    • Nooo! I hope it opens back up soon! I was thinking of going to brunch there this weekend!

    • Pablo Raw

      I have discovered recently that when I need to go to sleep, playing a podcast on a timer works wonderful. It works at night, and also when I wake up in the middle of the night.

      • Allison

        Have you listened to the “Mystery Show” podcast by Starlee Kine? It’s a really good “human interest” kind of show that I think would be easy to fall asleep to (that’s not meant to be an insult to her.)

        • Pablo Raw

          I’ll look for it! My favorite podcasts are “Star Talk” and “The Rachel Maddow Show” (plus a couple atheist show podcasts). They are all very interesting, but they help me to sleep. Low volume.. timer…zzzz…zzz…

    • There were about 6 fire trucks there yesterday a little before 6 pm. I didn’t stop to look for damage.

    • My roommate works at the Coupe. There was a fire but she wasn’t sure of the extent of the damage (was not working at the time of the fire)

    • Hooray for 2nd date!

  • Query (also posted in the “Holy Moly UberEats” thread):
    For people who used UberEats yesterday… how does the pickup process work?
    I have an Uber account but no smartphone. I’m trying to figure out whether I can order and (more importantly) be notified via the regular Uber website.

    • Paging Robin, EH, and any other UberEats users…

    • While you can read about their services and register for Uber through a regular browser, I’m fairly certain to use any of their services you need to use their app on a phone or tablet. Not sure if it works with something like the Surface, but I’ve used my iPad to order up an Uber on many occasions.

  • skj84

    Rave: A friend was cleaning out thier closet and gifted me with suits and other business wear! I own a least 5 suits now! I’m officially an adult!

    Rant: foggy this morning. So tired.

    Rave: thanks for the dip recipies yesterday! I’m going to give them a shot.

  • Rave: What a gorgeous morning!
    Rave: Carrot Cake in the oven – house smells amazing
    Rant/Rave: Lots of house cleaning on tap for today. It amazes me how quickly kids plus tired moms equals “how did this house get so messy?” Good thing is, it’s nice enough to throw the windows open and turn the music up and get down to business.
    Of Note: I just read an interesting article from the Post about why dating sucks for women in DC; essentially, the idea is that there are enough college educated men per college educated women in the city, and women typically don’t “date down,” meaning that a college educated woman won’t typically date some who is not himself college educated. I found this interesting, and, in a lot of ways true.

    • I’ve had the dumb luck of dating college educated women, but I’ve never cared about that. Why not focus on interests, where they’re going in life, etc. My friend who makes 6 figs as a bartender will find this entertaining.

      • I agree, interests are far more important. My BF and I are of very different education levels, but are very well-matched interest wise. I think the one thing is when people filter out potential matches by education level and then end up missing out on someone who otherwise would be a great matc.

      • Pablo Raw

        I find interesting the concept that for some it is considered a “down” that a person doesn’t have college education. I agree with Anon Spock about the focus on interests, etc. I guess in DC (or everywhere) some people want to date someone with a specific status, and look for that person. On the other hand, there’s an article making the rounds in which some guys talk about their Tinder experience: “Sex has become too easy” I think they said.

        • palisades

          In response to your last sentence, that sounds like a good thing. Maybe the world is balancing out. Seems to be too much pressure on each gender for different cultural norms.

          • Pablo Raw

            I guess the problem has to do with expectations. While some are looking to have as many sex partners as they can, others are looking for a long term partner. So there’s a lot of disappointment.

          • Yeah, that Tinder article made me want to hurl when I read it. Ugh. There is a problem with expectations. And re: college education, I dated someone without a college education, but they worked in the solar panel industry which is specialized. In my opinion, education matters less than having ambition and some sort of skill, whether it be a vocational skill, higher education, a language, etc.

          • Pablo Raw

            Though I have to say that the college education thing kind of applies to different levels of society. I’m an architect, but my first 2 years in the US I worked as a construction worker. Just because of what I was wearing, people would treat me totally different.

          • I got the same from ppl on my job which used to be in a restaurant. I bought my own home and you’re still sharing a bathroom with 3 ppl….but you want to judge me. Ok!
            But what status? Lots of ppl working on the bill whoever never become known. That seems so silly to pursue. That’s why lots of ppl are still single in a city this size.

          • On the hill will never become known.

          • @ FridayGirl YES EXACTLY – it’s not about the education it’s about skill & ambition. my boyfriend didn’t go to college but he’s been running his own business, successfully, for the past 9 years. to be honest I think I respect him even more for the fact that he is totally self-made (and also doesn’t have any student loans!!!! whereas I am in debt up to my eyeballs from law school).

          • My soon to be husband finished high school early with a GED…I am working on a masters degree. What matters is that he is my partner not how much money he makes or his education levels compared to me. I know that I will probably always be the main bread winner but he has a good job in something he enjoys and I’m happy for him. He has the skills to be a professional and has ambition…I am continually amazed how many seemingly highly educated people are just incapable of functioning in the real world.

            I also think people get wrapped up (especially in this area) about resumes and having the most prestigious education…some of you were talking about this the other day. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and realize that is not the vast majority of people…

        • I guess this must be the Tinder-related article in question?
          September 2015
          Tinder and the Dawn of the “Dating Apocalypse”
          by Nancy Jo Sales

          • Just finished reading the article. OMG. I’m glad I’m not in my 20s (though I imagine there are plenty of guys in their 30s and up with the same mentality).
            And what the women described was hookups that weren’t even physically satisfying. Yikes — what’s the point, then??

          • Yup, that’s it. I know we live in a hookup culture but I can’t even IMAGINE why anyone would want to live like that. I spent a few days after I read it swearing I’d get rid of all my dating profiles and just say “screw it” but that’s not cool either.

          • Women are regressing. I’m fine if you wanna bang a new person every night, but it should make you happy. If you’re not into that lifestyle, then get to know someone first. You’re sleeping with someone within minutes off meeting them them complaining it’s not going anywhere. Ha!
            I feel sorry for anyone who feels they have to do put up with lackluster sex just to maybe get a bf, find love, etc. It’s sad!

          • Regressing means they’re accepting the man’s view of relationships. If women stopped playing asking, guys would have to stop.

      • I think someone who makes a lot less or a lot more than you do is potentially problematic (unless the lower earner’s pay if expected to catch up to the other person’s in the near future). But if they’re doing well for themselves with no degree, who cares.

        • HaileUnlikely

          This seems to be more of an issue for millennials than it ever was previously, and while I could see this being an issue when one or both parties tend toward the materialistic, on its face this is kind of silly. Why would someone who earns enough that additional income from a partner exclude the vast majority of otherwise-eligible partners on the basis of their lower income? It is obviously similarly irrational for a lower-income person to specifically seek out low-income partners.

          • HaileUnlikely

            accidentally deleted words, meant “Why would someone who earns enough that additional income from a partner *is not needed* exclude…”

          • It’s an issue because it’s an imbalance. Like it or not, the person who makes more has more power. I’m not saying these relationships always pan out that way, but there’s a good chance that one will, so you should be wary of it.

          • I make considerably more than my wife (10x or so) and the notion that I have more “power” in our relationship would be, to anyone who knows us, ludicrous. You are reducing complex relationships between human beings to one single variable, which is even more ludicrous.

          • HaileUnlikely

            Although I mostly disagree, I’ll go along with that in the interest of playing devil’s advocate.
            So the one who makes more theoretically has more power. I can’t imagine that person being bothered by that state of affairs. Thus, it seems that those who would theoretically benefit from invoking such criteria are those who make relatively less. Thus, people who earn little should stick to partners who earn little, so that they don’t feel as if their partner has too much power over them.
            I think a better solution here should be to avoid marrying somebody who wants to exercise the full extent of their “power” over others all the time. Heck, somebody who is physically very strong has a different kind of power over somebody who is physically weaker, but we’ve already decided that it is not acceptable for one partner to wield that sort of power over another, so we tend to be accepting of partners that are much stronger or much weaker than us. I’m not sure why the money thing would be any different – if one of the partner takes the opportunity to exercise power over the other that he or she has by virtue of an income discrepancy, I don’t think the problem was ever the income discrepancy.

          • The higher earner has more freedom perhaps. With that being said, I’ve been on both sides in relationships, and while I’ve not excluded someone because of income, I’ve definitely done it when I’ve seen a lack of stability. That’s far more important to me than income.

    • This applies in other ways too. I think there’s more flexibility about age now than there used to be, but some women won’t date men who are younger than they are, and many men won’t date women who are older than they are. Similar with height (although people are becoming more flexible about that too).

      • Height is a hard one. I mean, how do you alter your basic/primal, albeit pointless, preference for someone as tall or taller than you? It seems stupid to pass up on what could be a great relationship just because you feel weird about being taller than / shorter than someone, but it’s a hard preference to change!

        • I know what you mean and have the same (totally irrational) preference.
          (Although I think you and I are perhaps more flexible than many women — some won’t even consider someone who’s the same height as they are!)

        • Height. Ugh. I never think about my height (1.5″ taller than the avg American male) while I’m in a relationship, but it seems like everyone wants to talk about it when I’m single, myself included.
          I’m just so sick of people poo-pooing my preference, which isn’t even that crazy, it’s somewhere in the 2 inches shorter than me to NBA player range. I don’t have a hard cut-off, but it’s just so unlikely that I’ll find someone 7 inches shorter than me attractive that I have to draw the line somewhere. Do short women who say they’ll only date men taller than them get lambasted for that preference?
          I do love being this height, but this particular issue is the one downfall.

          • I don’t have a strong preference for tall guys but I happen to be dating a super tall guy, and I semi-regularly get (mostly drunken) comments from strangers/women who are taller than me about how I’ve “stolen” one of the tall ones and how it’s annoying when short women prefer to date tall men. But, you’re right. I don’t think someone who is my height and says “I’m usually attracted to men 5’9” and above” or something along those lines would get as much flak!

          • That’s totally obnoxious.

      • Age is a real one for me. I could not date someone more than a few years younger than me. I tried but it just didn’t work for me. I’m pretty short so height was never really an issue, however, I totally get it!

    • anonamom – thanks for the reco, that article was really interesting and I think I want to buy the book! as someone who was single in DC for (what felt like) forever, I totally felt like the dating market skewed in favor of young professional men and I’m not at all surprised by this author’s findings. my current partner (who I love very much) only has a high school diploma and I have a JD. but on the other hand he runs two successful small businesses in DC so I have never felt our education disparity was an issue.

      • Its similar for my BF and I. In college educated, he’s not, but he runs a successful business and has just as much drive and ambition as I do (sometimes more!).

    • In case anyone else was curious about the article Anonamom mentioned, it’s this one:
      A new book answers why it’s so hard for educated women to find dates
      By Ana Swanson August 26 at 8:17 AM
      Another article about the book in question (“Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game,” by Jon Birger):
      New book on dating blames the numbers — not the women
      By Leanne Italie | AP August 25 at 5:34 PM

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Long awaited re-org at work. From what the newish CIO said at a high level, instead of being organized into teams that support a particular customer, we are going to be grouped by function. I think this is the third time we have been structured that way since I’ve been here. Not sure what took him so long to come up with this since he just could have pulled an org chart from 2011.

    Rave: This weather!

  • That One Guy

    Rave/Rant: fell into a song and couldn’t find my way to sleep the last couple of nights. Keep finding new little things to appreciate.

  • What the hell is this news about two journalists being shot to death this morning while on live TV?? What the everloving hell???

  • Urgent Request! Homeward Trails animal rescue desperately needs someone who can foster 6 adorable tiny kittens for about 2 weeks. They have ringworm, which I am assured is not as bad as Google makes it sound, but can’t be mixed with other litters or fosters. The ideal set up would be a good-sized spare bathroom or bedroom in a home with no other pets.

    I know it’s a big ask – but it’s also a great chance to volunteer. This time of year all the shelters & fosters are absolutely over-filled. If anyone can do this, please email [email protected].

  • Rant: 6 am flight from Chicago to start my day. I will be mainlining all the coffee.
    Rave: Delicious (albeit heartburn-inducing) breakfast from Tortas Frontera prior to boarding.

  • Rant: Just realized that Pentatonix is coming to Wolf Trap in September but tickets are sold out. Boo!
    Rant: Allergies have suddenly got going this week. So congested and sniffly. Grrr.
    Rave: Fun evening yesterday catching up with college friends I haven’t seen in a while.

  • FtLincolnLove

    Rave: It’s Wednesday.
    Rave: Going to the Beach exhibit tonight! Super pumped!
    Revel: Just learned runDisney is bringing the Star Wars half marathon to Disney World in April and that I could literally make the Kessel Run (hopefully in less than 12 parsecs) by signing up for it. I’m already signed up for the Star Wars half in Disneyland in January, and my inner nerd is freaking out right now!
    Rant: So much to do. The struggle is real.

    • It’s not really ‘inner’ if you’re speaking openly about it and signing up for Star-Wars-themed road races.

  • Rant: Still so freaking sick with this head cold. I think it’s finally time to ask for (pregnancy-safe) antibiotics. I have had this cold for three solid weeks now and it’s making everything ten times harder. I’ve also gone through a big box of tissues every day for the last four days. this must stop.
    Rave: Getting excellent puppy snuggles. The little guy really knows how to treat a lady right, especially when she’s sick.

    • Pregnancy colds are The Worst. Makes you realize how much we rely on OTC meds to get through bugs generally.
      I think you’re allowed to have Afrin, right? For a day or two, anyway? Definitely ask the doc. Get him/her to think creatively.

      • Last week I got a list of pregnancy-approved OTC meds and a prescription inhaler, but none of them has brought me any real relief. At first I thought it was just a cold but now I think it’s a nasty infection that needs a serious remedy. At this point, I think the infection has to be worse for the babies than any antibiotic would be, but I’ll leave that to my doc to decide!

  • Rave – great day with my daughter yesterday.
    Rant – bad move to read yesterday’s R&R this morning – so many thing I wanted to comment on. Will limit myself to one comment and one question:
    – After reading the New Yorker article, simply going to Seattle/Portland for a few days makes me anxious. No way I’d move there, salary differential or not. (And I am not an overly anxious person.)
    – Update on potential good news from 2:00 meeting?

    • OMG, I was reading that article yesterday afternoon (though I didn’t finish). Pretty alarming stuff!

      • Allison

        My parents, sister, brother-in-law, and niece live in Portland. Now I’m saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad 🙁

      • FWIW, I saw a number of responses to that article in my Facebook feed that sort of debunked the main premises. I didn’t read any of them at all carefully, including the original article, but I think the main point that informed critics made was that the timeframe in which the “big one” could hit is extremely wide. And in no way likely to happen during any of our lifetimes. I sort of saw the original story as an interesting think piece, rather than a reason to be terrified to ever visit or live in the Pacific NW.

        • Of course there are going to be opponents to every bit of scientific theory (we have anti-vaccine scientists, too) but my geology professor cousin believes (and explained convincingly) that the statistical likelihood is significant. But people still smoke and leave their kids unvaccinated, too, so I don’t expect anyone to use the science to change their behavior.

          • I’m not sure the comparisons to smoking and vaccination are really apt — we clearly know the risks of each of those things. Here is a follow-up article from the author of the original piece answering reader questions: http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/how-to-stay-safe-when-the-big-one-comes . Responding to my earlier point, the author quotes a source who says “‘You’re not overdue for an earthquake until you’re three standard deviations beyond the mean’—which, in the case of the full-margin Cascadia earthquake, means eight hundred years from now…. [T]here is a thirty-per-cent chance of the M8.0–8.6 Cascadia earthquake and a ten-per-cent chance of the M8.7–9.2 earthquake in the next fifty years.” The author at no point says “move out of the Pacific NW immediately and live your life terrified about anyone you know who lives or visits there.” In fact, she spends her own summers in Oregon.

          • Also look up “Parkfield Earthquake Prediction”. This is the one time U.S. Geological Survey geologists ever felt confident predicting an earthquake (a 6.0 one in an empty part of central California). An earthquake had occurred there essentially every 22 years from 1857 to 1966, so they predicted a 95% probability of one occuring between 1983 and 1993. Didn’t end up happening until 2004.

          • I did not know about the three standard deviations overdue theory – that’s somewhat comforting. (My non-scientific analysis was that the devastating quakes and resulting tsunamis occur something like every 250 years, and we’re something like 60 years “overdue” according to that metric.)
            That said, “[T]here is a thirty-per-cent chance of the M8.0–8.6 Cascadia earthquake and a ten-per-cent chance of the M8.7–9.2 earthquake in the next fifty years.” is not exactly comforting, given the devastation involved.

          • dcd, I agree that the latter statistic isn’t particularly comforting, but if you think about the probability of an 8+ earthquake occurring during any given long weekend, say, or even during one year, it’s practically nil. If you travel regularly to the area (and I think you do), I’d definitely recommend reading that follow-up article in full. There is some very practical guidance on how to best prepare and it’s not at all alarmist.

          • Actually, I was just going to post – I just read it, and while not exactly comforting, I have come off the ledge a bit. Most important was the fact that neither Seattle nor Portland are in the inundation zone, so will be spared the worst effects of the tsunami. I don’t love the idea of being in an earthquake again – I was in LA for a minor one about 5 years ago – but I have just realized that the potential tsunami freaks me out a lot more.
            I travel to Seattle sometimes, but I’m in SF more often – I envy you your move!

          • That article made me oddly nostalgic… In HS (in Tokyo) my family kept a spare bathtub filled with water at all times, definitely followed the “Redecorate your home with an eye to gravity” rule (in fact, my bf recently asked why everything in my parents’ home is so low to the ground), kept an earthquake go-bag by the door, and I knew how to walk to the American Embassy from basically anywhere in the city if public transportation was down. I still wonder how we would have handled the 2011 earthquake if we had still lived there, though.

    • Follow up to the 2pm tomorrow afternoon!

    • I’ve been thinking about moving to Seattle. I grew up in the Pacific and experienced regular earthquakes as a child, apparently even a 8.0+ one, and they are frightening to say the least. I still wouldn’t let that stop me from moving to Seattle but something to think about.

    • The original article:
      July 20, 2015
      The Really Big One
      An earthquake will destroy a sizable portion of the coastal Northwest. The question is when.
      By Kathryn Schulz
      Thanks to WDC (IIRC) for the link!

      • tonyr

        If its any comfort, there is a risk that a big chunk of one of the Canary Islands will collapse sending a tsunami hundreds of feet high over Miami. Won’t be much fun in New York or Boston either. When your numbers up, it’s up.

        Alternatively you could move to North Dakota. Due to the oil boom, there are thousands of lonely men looking for female company. Kill two birds with one stone – no drowning and plenty of dates.

  • Rant: meetings on meetings on meetings
    Rave: It’s always nice to wear a new shirt. It’s even nicer when you get random compliments. I should probably step up my game in the clothing department a bit more!
    Rave: Leaving work an hour early to head out to Wolf Trap
    Rave: I’m not the only one that loves my boss! We had an organization wide meeting and one co-worker jokingly said our boss is the best, and then it was repeated at least five times by other team members. It was awesome! I hope he’s seriously feeling some love!

  • Revel: My partner and I have 2-3 options to move out of our basement apartment!

    Rant: We have to make a decision by tomorrow and we’re having a very, very hard time deciding.

    We’re looking at pretty comparable 1-bedroom apartments in the Chalfonte (Harvard and Argonne, off 16th), the Argonne (same), and the Park Meridian (16th and Euclid). The sizes, prices, location, etc., are similar enough that the decision really comes down to building quality. We’ve scoured Yelp and other review sites, but a lot of the reviews are old and/or contradictory, so any input from current or recent renters would be really helpful.

    Does anyone have recent experience with any of these buildings? If so, can you speak to pests, management responsiveness (or management attempts to screw renters), heating/cooling issues, noise, construction, or anything else that might be relevant?

    Thank you!

    • HaileUnlikely

      No firsthand experience here, but my friends who lived in the Chalfonte several years ago and now live in the Argonne like the Argonne much much better. For all I know the Chalfonte might be better now than it was back when they lived in it, but in any event, they’re happy with the Argonne now.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: weird work project made my morning awkward.
    Rave: some preliminary feedback from work project is very hopeful

Comments are closed.