Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user etegamist

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

257 Comment

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: I walked into the dog gate and fell face-first into a bookcase. I am now scraped and bruised and cranky.
    Rave: I believe I shall tell everyone I was in a bar fight.
    Rant: My favorite mascara has walked off. I suspect Middle Zelda, though she swears she didn’t swipe it.

  • Question (also a bit of a rant): Is there a time limit to follow up on a job interview? Interview #4 was a week ago and haven’t heard back. Should I follow up today? End of the week? At all? Any advice from a hiring manager if appreciated.

    • Not a hiring manager but after a 4th round, I say a week is plenty. Follow up today.

    • Hiring manager here! If you’ve made it to round 4, you’re one of the finalists, obviously. They are probably motivated to complete the process (the time elapsed between interviews is a good indication of this) and so they’re working on it, probably getting input from various members of the team, or waiting for approval from higher up. People who need to weigh in may be on vacation. A note from you probably won’t hurt (unless you’re rude or say something dumb, or unless there’s someone sensitive and irrational on the team who will feel like you’re being pushy, and you don’t want to work for that person anyway.) But it probably won’t help, either. (Except in one scenario, see below.) It’s not like they forget they were in the middle of a hiring process, and just need a reminder to finalize. They’ve talked to you four times, so it’s not like they forgot about your candidacy.
      I’d say end of the week, and phrase it more like a reiteration of your interest in the company, and less like a reminder to them to get their shit together.
      A scenario in which a note might seal the deal: If they may have made an offer to someone else, and they’re currently waiting on his/her response, and if that person declines, they will move on to their next pick. That is where the content of your follow-up email can potentially play in your favor. If candidate 1 turns them down, they’ll be feeling kind of rejected, and your timely note full of professional enthusiasm will elevate your candidacy, psychologically speaking.

      • Thank you for this!

        • Or check your spam! The job I just got hired for used an outside firm to check references and begin the final processes to offer the job but the email they sent went directly into my spam folder! Luckily, the HR dept followed up a day later asking if I had received it!

  • I pass by this new mural every day. It’s the same house that used to have a skeleton lounging in the yard (which I guess was stolen). My interpretation is that this is the skeleton of Robert Gould Shaw. Are those poppies for eyes?

    • Accountering

      I will ask next time I see them about the mural. We chatted briefly and I told him I certainly liked it! They painted the entire house as well (was formerly a beige) and it looks a lot better!

    • This house has a big sign outside saying it is under contract. Is it the old or the new owners who put up this mural?

      • Accountering

        Sounds like it is under contract, but they have some sort of under contract agreement where you can make changes prior to the sale being finalized, I believe with a penalty if the sale falls through.

    • More like Robert Ghouled Shaw, amirite?

  • Rant: I’m so tired of the violence in CoHi. I love the diversity and neighborhood vibe, I love living in the city, but the frequent gun shots and violence is scary. Specially when thinking about having a family in the next couple of years.
    Revel: Going on vacations this weekend. Trying to get out of the city a bit more then years past!

    • Yeah, I feel you. I’ve been in DC for 20 years, and am seriously considering putting my house on the market next year because the city feels increasingly lawless. I guess that’s one way for the city to put the brakes on gentrification.

      • +1,000 – I have been in DC for 13 years and I couldn’t agree more, considering my house on H Street up as well.

    • Yup. We’re fed up to the point where we’re planning to head on to a new city. It has been a (pretty) good decade, but I am beyond done with the crazy crime and traffic and pollution. We had to have a conversation with my sister-in-law (who’s staying with us) about moving her bed away from the window because there have been so many blow-out shoot-outs within a couple block radius lately. That’s the last straw.

  • Revel: back in DC
    Rant: left Israel with a very bitter taste in my mouth. I did everything I could think of to be a grateful guest… Bought groceries, went away for a couple days (although in retrospect I should have stayed away longer) covered the tab for dinner occasionally, ran a few errands to help with pre-moving in the rental car, listen to her talk nonstop about all the guys she was dating/banging, etc. But I was constantly reminded of how terrible timing my visit was, how stressed out she was, and how she was saving me so much money. At least with staying in a hostel I wouldn’t have had to deal with all the bitching. The kicker was when I was accused of nickel and diming her because she said that if I paid for the car rental she’d pay for all the gas because it would cost more, but if it cost anything more than what I paid for the car I should put in gas money. Gas ended up costing 2/3 what the car rental cost and when I mentioned it, I got accused of being a cheap jerk. Grarrrr. She’s stayed here with me in the past but I’d never dream of reminding her on a daily basis how much cheaper my house is than a hotel. I think the friendship is pretty damaged now.
    Revel: I have a bunch of babysitting jobs coming up, woo!

    • Accountering

      IMO you should have just eaten the difference between the car rental and the gas. She does sound like she was crappy though – that is a bummer.. Sucks you fly around the world and have to deal with that nonsense.

      • I did end up eating the difference because it didn’t feel like a battle worth fighting. But the way she snapped at me about it and then snapped at me again for getting quiet afterward was upsetting to me.

        • Accountering

          I mean I don’t think you should have been tracking it either way. Car rental was $200 or whatever, and gas was $150, it shouldn’t have ever come up IMO. Especially if you were worried about her being a poor host.
          With that said, I agree, she sounds like she was a big wanker, and really crappy to have a friend fly across the pond and then treat them like that.

    • Wow, what a wanker. Sounds like she’s going through a really tough time or just super self-centered right now. I’m sorry, that sucks. I wouldn’t blame you for withdrawing from that friendship one bit!

      • It’s a combination of the two. She broke up with her fiance and he moved out about a month ago, so she is lonely but also dating around quite a bit and I can’t imagine anybody else would listen to her describe in such detail everything that’s happened. Ugh I don’t know…

        • So sorry this happened, it sounds terrible. I can totally see her being super self-absorbed right now…but one would hope that it didn’t translate into also being a crappy host/friend.

    • She sounds like a terrible person. Why would you want to keep being friends with her? Sometimes friendships crash and burn, for many different reason. Just chalk it as a life lesson, walk away and don’t look back.

      • It definitely wasn’t something I expected going into this trip. I feel like I’d owe her to let my stay with me in DC again, but I’d really rather decline and let the friendship taper off.

        • It maybe wasn’t something you expected– but from time you got there- starting ranting about it. It’s almost as though you spoke it in to existence. Which perhaps in your mind things seemed a lot worse than they actually were?

      • This is unfair. We’re only getting one side of the story so I don’t think we can say who, if anyone, is a terrible person here. Safe to say however that they’re in very different (and apparently incompatible) places right now. This is the way friendships go sometimes, maybe it’s temporary or maybe it’s permanent, so I would say walk away but I wouldn’t say don’t look back.

        • I’m with Krampus here. I’ve been on the other side of a similar (but not identical) situation where we had houseguests for a week, followed by a relationship breakdown. This was two years ago and I still feel awful about the way it went down. But I think the blame is somewhat shared and it would be a mistake to assume one’s person’s “fault.” It sounds like she’s in a really tough place and although she probably really wanted to be a good hostess, I’m guessing it was really hard for her right now. Maybe in a little while you can both look past it and pick up your friendship in a new place.

          • Right. I don’t want to say everything is her fault. I just feel crappy about it still.

          • Since it just happened, I think it’s okay to feel crappy about it. Heck. I feel crappy about my own situation years later! But I think I would feel a lot less crappy now if we had been able to patch things up afterward, rather than it blowing up into a relationship-killing event. Maybe in a few days or weeks — when and if you’re ready — you can send her an email thank you note to acknowledge that she put you up for the days she did. You could tell her you’re sorry it was more inconvenient than you expected it to be, and that you hope you’ll have an opportunity to make it up to her in the future?

          • I like this advice, particularly given the context of the timing. This episode may just require a bit of time to heal from rather than ruining the friendship entirely, unless you really truly want nothing to do with her ever again. But give yourself time to determine that; it’s all still very raw.

          • Sorry, perhaps I should clarify, I said she *sounds* like a terrible person, based on iindsay’s stories here. I know context matters, that there is always another side of the story, and maybe it was all a big misunderstanding that can be patched up with some space and some thoughtful conversations. Or maybe not. I’m not aware of how close iindsay and her friend were before this incident, to me it sounded more like an acquaintance situation as opposed to bffs or something, and in those situations, I say sometimes the best thing you can do is walk away. But if this was / is a close friendship, then by all means, I echo fka Shawess and mtpresident.

        • Emmaleigh504

          Yeah, but iindsay is our friend, so I’m taking her side even tho I know there are at least 3 sides. And this other person doesn’t even know I exist, so what does she care. #teamiindsay all the way!

          • Totally #teamiindsay! I just wonder if she’d feel better with some kind of resolution to the issue, rather than just writing off the friend permanently. Writing people off can seem cathartic in the moment, but IMO doesn’t really resolve the issue in the long term.

          • Ditto Shawess again 🙂

          • That’s very sweet. I just wish you all could have all the information and then advise accordingly!

          • Emmaleigh504

            I have no advice for her, just support. (Really people should only take my advice on food and buying clothes/jewelry. Trying to stay with what I know, for once.)

          • Honestly, I think a simple thank you note (like the one I mentioned above) could go a very long way. I’d recommend sending one today if you can make yourself do it, if only because it could feel like a weight off your shoulders.
            I love the options on Paperless Post because 1) they look like “real” thank you notes, 2) you can see if they’ve been received/opened and 3) the space limits are like real thank you notes, so you don’t feel like you have to write a super long message. Paperless Post has some really cute free options, FYI. I say, keep it simple, cordial and appreciate, but acknowledge the inconvenience.

          • +1 to everything Shawess said and also HaileUnlikely below. I’m sure you don’t feel awsome about it right now, but you should send at least a short (but sincere) note of thanks. You don’t necessarily need to fix anything or talk anything out right away.

          • Emmaleigh504

            DISAGREE In this case a thank you note be on paper (or something creative) and mailed. Hell, in almost every case a snail mail thank you note (not card) is better. Where y’all raised in barns?! (I know you were Justin, no need to jump in on this particular topic b/c I am right.)
            Also Hostess Gifts. I don’t know if you gave one iindsay, but they are a good thing to add to your repetoire. Cute paper cocktail napkins are a favorite in my family. they don’t take up much space if you are traveling, they don’t cost much, and they are fun.

          • That’s right, E-5. We’re like a biker gang here! Rowdy, uncivilized, not bound by the man and the Marquis of Queensbury Rules. And when someone takes a swing at one of us, we don’t ask “who started it?” We get our homie’s back, amiright? #teamlidsay.

          • @The Enabler504, there’s definitely a place for paper notes (most of the time), but given the distance, I’m not sure this is it. I think there’s something to be said for the instant gratification of seeing it was opened and knowing it arrived on the same day, rather than days or even weeks later. But that’s just me 🙂

          • Emmaleigh504

            Why not both?! Everyone who has a soul likes mail that isn’t bills.

          • Emmaleigh504

            @IrvingStreete, is E-5 my bike/ganr name??? I’m legit excited!!

          • I think I’m soul-less then! Seriously! I am not afraid to say out loud that I do NOT love paper mail of any kind! I love the sentiment in cards, yes, but I do not love cards themselves. Paperless Post FTW 🙂

          • I brought a hostess gift before and I’m not sending a paper card because it will take forever to arrive.

    • Oh wow, I’m sorry that you had this experience. I have been through something similar, and I know exactly how bad it really sucks to be in a different country staying with someone who doesn’t really want you there (long story short… I surprised a friend in the UK once with a week long visit, her BF and I planned the whole thing, thought it would be an awesome thing for her. It wasn’t.). I think the best course of action is to take the high road, send her a thank you car, and then back away from the friendship. There are many reasons that could have caused her to act the way that she did, and chances are they had nothing to do with you.

    • Maybe that’s just her way of being friends. It’s a stereotype, for sure, but I’ve never met an Israeli who didn’t complain or argue constantly.

      • Was going to say the same thing – sounds like pretty much every Israeli I’ve ever had as a personal friend or business acquaintance.
        They have the tact of a bull in a china shop and never learned to have a stiff upper lip.

      • She’s not a real Israeli… She made aliyah 2 years ago.I imagine a sabra would just tell me to gtfo.

    • HaileUnlikely

      I wouldn’t write her off as a bad friend. Breaking up with one’s fiancé, as you note that she did only a month ago, is, to quote our illustrious Vice President, “a big f*cking deal.” The timing of that in conjunction with the timing of your trip was about the worst timing possible. Well, not maybe not the worst, as it would have been worse if they broke up an hour before you arrived, but you get the idea.
      I realize that you know this person and we don’t, so you have context that we don’t that might lend further insights into her general disposition as well as her state right now, but all else aside, I wouldn’t take it personally if somebody who had just split with somebody who they were planning to marry seemed to be in kind of a bad mood a short while after.

      • I don’t think she is a bad friend. We’ve known each other for 5 years.. I just feel crappy. Maybe I shouldn’t let it taper off? I don’t know..

        • I think give it some time and see where it goes. If it ends up being indicative of long-term behavior/attitude, then maybe it wasn’t a relationship to continue. But time and space may allow for healing for both of you.

    • Also, as I remember, it might not have been clear that you were staying with her the entire time? Weren’t there other friends that bailed, and a botched trip to Jordan? I think that her expectations of how long you were staying and how long it ended up being were not in line. Next time, spend that car rental money on a hostel!

    • I like the idea of sending a thank you note and acknowledging that you know it was tough on her and showing gratitude for her hospitality and being flexible as things unexpectedly came up (even if it doesn’t feel like she was very hospitable). Give it time, maybe try to touch base here and there to just say hi, and see if you both can get past it. It’s entirely possible that she’s having a rough time and took it out on you (or could have picked up personality traits from her new home…I don’t know any Israelis so I can’t really speak on that but it sounds like others do). If future interactions aren’t reciprocated or she acts hostile, then back it off and let the friendship go.

  • Rant 1: driver cruising up 7th at Randolph, drinking a beer.
    Rant 2: stops at light at 7th & New Hampshire, opens car door, puts his empty in the street.
    Rant 3: at 8:30 this morning.

    • God knows, you don;t want to be caught with an empty rolling around on the floor when you get pulled over at 8:30 am. But the courteous thing to do is to pull into an alley and drop it into a recycling bin. That’s what I always do, anyway.

  • Rant: Feel like a zombie this morning.
    Rant: Rude people on crowded metro platforms. If you’re pushing and shoving your way through a crowd and telling people to get out of your way, I don’t care that you’re running late, you’re rude.
    Rant: Chaotic morning that began with a loud thump followed by screaming. Fortunately, kiddo seems no worse for the wear. Oy.

    • Forgot – I DO have a rave – opening my email and finding notes from not one, but two dear friends I hadn’t heard from in awhile. So yay for that 🙂

  • Accountering

    Rave: This mural!
    Rave2: The guys who bought this house are planning on renting on AirBNB. This block has a lot of them – and it is pretty cool!

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: I was having such delicious sleep until
    Rant: I got a muscle cramp in my calf at 1:00 am! Worse ever since I had to get up and walk around for about 15 minutes.
    Rave: Fell asleep around 3:00 and had some real trippy dreams involving the White House. I’m also learning how to meditate and fall back to sleep and create the fun, lucid dreams.
    Rant: On 7/31 I have a major project deliverable, for which I have had some disagreements with my boss. Also on 7/31 my pointless Performance Plan which is always done at the last minute and we pretend we had been doing it all year AND I’m supposed to move myself out of this building on the same day! This is definitely the wrong day to have forgotten to take my blood pressure pills.
    Rave: I got home yesterday and my car was NOT booted!

  • Pablo Raw

    I mentioned this yesterday but a little bit in more detail (this is going to be long):
    Rant: ON Sunday, I left Malcom X/Meridian Hill park in a hurry in order to get to the G&G meetup, left my iPad behind.
    Rant: Realize that at the end of G&G
    Rant: Went back to the park in the morning to talk to the park ranger, nobody turned it in. Also emailed NPS, they responded.
    Rant: Went to Vz, was informed about the procedure to get a new one since it is covered by insurance. I was feeling embarrassed since I just got that iPad last week as a replacement for the previous one that was not working.
    Rant: A couple of days ago, I thought about activating the “Find my iPad” app, and didn’t.
    Rave: A friend texted me and the text showed up on the locked screen, the person who found the iPad somehow was able to text her back and let her know that he had my iPad.
    Rave: I talked to the guy, my iPad is back with me.
    Rave: Honest and nice people. There is hope.
    The End

  • Rave: Surprise real estate client…if they get this place it’ll be the quickest deal I’ve ever had come together.
    Rave: Dinner last night 🙂 Accountering made Blue Apron and it was ready just as I was coming home from putting together an offer after work…I felt pretty spoiled 🙂
    Rave: Meeting two good friends for dinner tonight AND handing off some give-away shoes (size five…who has feet that small?) from one friend to another.
    Rave: Great work milestone at my day job
    Rant: twitching and cramping and aching – I am getting old!

    • Accountering

      Something awesome about hearing the door open, and the first comment is “it smells amazing in here!”
      I just may have to cook some more!
      Also, to the person hating on Blue Apron for using too many dishes, you are right, it uses a lot of dishes. We have a dishwasher, so that really takes some of the sting out of it though. I could see that being a bummer if you do not have a dishwasher.

      • “Using too many dishes” isn’t a complaint that I’ve heard about Blue Apron (or really even conceived of as an issue) until now. Interesting! We don’t have a dishwasher (I’m the cook and dishwasher) and I didn’t even notice an increase in washing, although a) I have a lovely set of small prep bowls that I use and b) we only get the vegetarian meals. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. 🙂

  • Rave: Surprised the wife with tickets to the Washington Spirit vs Seattle Reign FC game in September. She’s pretty excited.
    Rave: Taking the day off to give myself some time to think. And by think, I mean bake.

    • That’s awesome! I wish the Spirit still played in the city. The Maryland Soccerplex is too far for us to trek to. I loved watching the Freedom play at RFK way back when.

      • I do too. This is the first time we will be making the trek out to MD to see them play. I was trying to decide between the Seattle game and the WNY Flash game but then I found my favorite player (who plays for the Flash), Sydney Leroux, is out for the rest of the season after having foot surgery this week. At least it now makes sense why she didn’t get much play time during the World Cup.

    • I really miss the double headers they used to do with DC United. You used to be able to watch a women’s game and then stay for DC United. I wish they would consider a few of those again. I hate to drive out to the soccer plex, although it is a nice field.

  • Rave: After a night of no sleep two nights ago, went to bed at 9:30 last night and slept till the alarm went off at 5 this morning.
    Rave: Getting daily pictures of my new nephew from my brother. He’s so little and squishy.
    Rave: NextBus was accurate and the L1 actually showed up on time this morning.

  • Quick question! Does anyone know if the DMV can print a new license on-site? I misplaced my license and can’t really wait for the mailing period. Last time I went (3 years ago), they were able to print on-site. Still the case?

    • I’m pretty sure they stopped printing licenses on-site just over a year ago. They give you a paper printout at the DMV that can serve as a temp ID, then mail the official one a few days later. I think I got mine in about a week.

    • Nope. With real ID you have to wait. When I got my license, it was less than a week.

    • These folks are correct. I just transferred my license from another state and got the license in the mail in about 10 days.

    • They give you a crappy, temporary paper license that’s just printed on normal printer paper. It looks absolutely fake, so don’t try to buy alcohol, get on a plane, conduct a financial transaction, or even enter a bar with it. You’ll be turned away.

  • Bear

    Rave: Awesome shower and bachelorette weekend. I’m lucky to have such cool people in my life.
    Rant: Haven’t slept well the last two nights, and that added to an exhausting weekend means I’m seriously dragging today.
    Rave/rant: Being recruited by a competitor, and they’re turning on the full court press…but the timing is terrible. Hoping if they really want me that bad they can wait a couple months.

    • Bear

      Additional rant: My boss, who still isn’t in the office at 10:15, and we have a pretty important meeting that we need to prep for in 15 minutes. I love how he strolls in whenever he sees fit, produces nothing of any value, and still manages to keep his job.

      • your boss sounds like a totally valid reason to leave your current job for the competitor even if the timing is bad (for the company and not for you personally)

      • Ugh! He’s going to miss you when you’re gone! 🙂

    • Fingers crossed that you can make the timing work in your favor.
      You have cool people in your life because you *are* a cool person and amazing friend.
      Your boss sucks.

  • rant: finding more grey hairs lately. I hate them, so I tear them out. I’ve been told i should not do that
    Rave: wearing polka dots today! I love polka dots 🙂

    • This could be me! I’m a little tweezer-happy anyway, and with dark hair it drives me crazy when white hairs are sticking out. I haven’t noticed any rapid multiplication if it makes you feel better. I should add this to my rant above! Love polka dots 🙂

    • I was doing the same thing until my hair dresser told me I will go bald!! She said if anything trim the gray hairs to almost the root.

    • Mine are all congregating in the same spot, so I’m desperately hoping for a white streak. That would at least be cool.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I thought I would have white hair by now. I have 2. I am very disappointed. The grass is always greener or some such.

  • justinbc

    Random: Anyone ever rented a classic (50s/60s) model car, or luxury (Porsche/Ferrari/etc) in DC? I’m having trouble finding reliable service companies, as it’s probably a rather niche thing.

  • Rave: Feeling like I’m getting a lot of stuff done
    Rant: Still so much to do, bah!
    Rave: So many ways to stay in touch with people who are far away. Lots of lovely FaceTime chats with my parents (they’s so goofy sometimes!), my sister-in-law and little nephew (he crawled towards “me” on the screen! yay!), and some good messenger chats with my bff out in CA. Helps me still feel connected.
    Rant: Fruit flies. I think there were only a few of them in my apartment, but I had to sacrifice half my yummy glass of beer to trap them 🙁

    • Pablo Raw

      I have a couple of them too; I sometimes see them from the distance and I do the “I’m watching you” sign. They are hard to catch.

    • Remind me to tell you about a fruit fly trap…. We got some berries last year from a Farmers Market and ended up pretty inundated. The trap worked though!

    • I hate fruit flies. You can make a trap out of a plastic bottle by cutting it about 2/3 of the way up, then flip the top upside down and stick it in the bottom so it looks like a funnel. Put some OJ or apple cider vinegar in it and the flies will fly in for the sweet stuff, have a hard time finding their way out, and drown.

    • Or just put 1/4 inch of apple cider vineger in a wide-mouth container (eg, an emoty cottage cheese container), add a drop of dish soap to break the surface tension, and leave it near your fruit.

      • I poured the rest of my yummy beer into a mug, put a drop of dish soap in, covered it with some plastic wrap with big holes in it, and set it on the kitchen table. I don’t have any fruit laying out, I keep my berries in the fridge for just this reason.

        • Emmaleigh504

          wait wait wait. You didn’t use the rest of your beer for your hair (I did not read any of the rest of this thread)? Beer makes hair awesomely soft!!

          • No, I did not! I wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to use it without making my head a sticky mess and reeking like a drunk. My hair is having enough problems, I don’t think adding beer to it will help. I know adding beer to many situations improves them, but not in this case! 🙂

          • Emmaleigh504

            Put the beer on when you first get in the shower. It will be cold, you will hate it. Let it sit a few minutes anyway. Then wash/condition/style and usual. So much softness and no reeking!
            My dorm room was the pre-game or just the drinking place, so every morning I’d find some left over beer to put in my hair. Softest hair years ever.

          • Pablo Raw

            hashtag “drunk hair”

          • Emmaleigh504


  • DC CapHill

    Rave: Great tickets to Chelsea FC vs. FC Barcelona at FedEx tonight.
    Rant: The amount they ask for event parking is criminal ($50/car,) and that’s not even the secondary market for a parking pass ($112/car.)
    Rave: My $4.40 that’ll get me there via the Metro. Gotta love it.

  • Rant: Mint.com for budgeting. It used to be awesome, but it can’t seem to comprehend the now months old changes to Capital One’s name and sign on process. Why no, my stock portfolio is not up 163%, but thanks for trying.
    Rave: spontaneous margaritas last night.
    Rant: one of my coworkers wears horribly dirty clothes. I don’t comprehend how and I don’t want to say anything, but it’s becoming almost a daily occurrence.
    Rave: drove a friend to work this morning and it was actually nice to be social before getting to the office.

    • Accountering

      You are up 163%?!?! You are DEFINITELY buying beers at the next HH! 🙂

    • justinbc

      Dirty as in soiled or smelly?

    • Wait, your coworker’s clothes are so dirty you can tel? Dirty as in visible stains or dirty as in smelly? Either way, not good. In my last job, I heard that one coworker had really bad BO and it was affecting all the other coworkers in terms of scent and apparent gagging (YES) so someone had to intervene. If it’s not affecting you or the work, maybe it’s not so bad.

      • It’s not affecting me, but it looks bad for her and I mentor her. So, I think if anyone would say something, it would be me.
        It really just boggles my mind though, how do you not notice? Do you think other people don’t notice? Cause we do.

        • Yes, I think it’s time for a talk. I’m a young worker too, and though the convo would be difficult, I would appreciate the talk esp if it came from a place of care about my professional wellbeing. Tough talk but needs to be done.

        • I bet she doesn’t! There was a woman in my office who had a specific pair of paints that had very tattered ends where they were too long and dragged on the ground. She wore them all the time and every.single.time my old boss would point it out to me. “There’s those pants again”…If you can find a tactful way to talk to her and have a few ready examples I think that’s kind of you. How she’ll receive it is another matter entire. Good luck!

        • justinbc

          If you’re her mentor then you definitely owe it to her to have a conversation. She could be leaving a bad impression at the way to the top that could tarnish her reputation from the start.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Serious question, as I don’t have any idea of this person’s age, social standing (for lack of a better way to put it), mental health, or any of the other six million variables that might be relevant: is there anything to suggest that she might be in a really difficult financial situation and not have a lot of outfits or easy means of laundering them? I realize this is rather unlikely, but I have known people who were either homeless or basically on the brink of being homeless while they were working.

          • To reply to a few people at once, she’s not a new worker, I’m closer in age to her kid than I am to her I think, this has been going on for a long time but no one has apparently told her, our boss is a dude, she and I are both women, I doubt she’s in a financial hard spot and I recognize a lot of her clothes as recent seasons.
            You need to be clean or at least reasonably close to it and many times she is not. People talk about it. I just don’t really want to have that uncomfortable conversation :-/

          • Unfortunately, it sounds like someone needs to buck up and do it, and it may as well be you.

        • wait?! I thought a few months ago people on here were saying that it shouldn’t matter how you dress at work.

          • I’m one of the people who advocates for a broader “dress code” and much less judgment of what (especially women) employees wear. But it’s juvenile to read those comments as a carte blanche “wear whatever, wear nothing, your call.”
            I’d be just fine if everyone in every workplace wore clean blue jeans and tshirts that in no way exposed their fun bits. It’s when we start talking about slips and pantyhose and high heels are REQUIRED that I have a problem with it.

          • justinbc

            “it shouldn’t matter how you dress at work”
            It shouldn’t. However things don’t always work they way they “should” work, and if this woman’s appearance could hinder her future progression then it’s worth pointing that out to her.

          • There’s a difference between appropriate items (which could be argued for days) and appropriate condition. All of this woman’s choices in terms of items are appropriate, but the condition is not.
            I’ve learned to move past broken shoes even though they drive me crazy. I see so many women wearing heels where the heel cap has broken off and they’re effectively walking on the head of a screw with no sole. It’s really slippery on tile floors and I once lost one in the middle of the day and got the resulting screw stuck in the carpet at work, so I don’t know how women don’t see this as a problem. But, I know that many people don’t even know what a cobbler is anymore, so I’ve stopped getting upset about it, even when it’s a VP level wearing outrageously expensive shoes.

    • I worked with a woman whose clothes were often dirty (visible stains) and in poor repair (missing buttons, ripped seams.) She was sloppy in her work habits as well, and we had to let her go after less than a year. It may not be fair, but I sort of have the two things connected in my mind… I don’t care about fashion, but at a minimum, a conscientious employee will be clean and appropriately attired. If you lost a button on the way in to the office, ask someone for a safety pin, or hell, staple your blouse closed if you have to.

    • Emmaleigh504

      We have so many smelly people at work! Their clothes look clean if wrinkled but have that awful dirty laundry smell. I’m too low on the totem pole to do anything about it. Stink on Feds, stink on.

      • Can’t you go to hr?

        • Emmaleigh504

          No, I’m a contractor. Besides, there are so many! I just don’t get on the elevator with certain people and my offie and I have an air purifier and air freshener in our office.

    • emvee

      Re: your Mint rant. Ages ago when I first got out of college, I lived in Roanoke, VA. This is also when I first set up my Mint account. For some reason, Mint does not seem to comprehend that I no longer have a power bill with Appalachian Power and that, no, I don’t have a reoccurring $65 monthly payment to them. I started using So You Need a Budget about a year or two ago, and I far prefer it.

      • Thanks for the recommendation. I’m just hesitant to move because Mint has like 3 years of my data and I like looking at the trends.

  • Rant: The manspreader who was taking up 1 3/4 of the accessible seats on the metro today. Me and my foot in a cast had to squeeze into the remaining 1/4 seat, which was the only spot left in the entire car. I thought maybe when I sat down he would rein it in a bit, but if anything he just spread out more, using my right arm as a rest for his newspaper, which he had spread open nearly as wide as his legs.

    Rave: All the people who have offered me seats on crowded trains since I started hobbling around in this cast. I can’t begin to tell you how much it is appreciated.

  • Rant: friend who stayed over had car rummaged through over night(Cap Hill, &th st NE right next to specialty hospital)
    Rave: nothing of real importance was stolen
    Rant: Feeling violated even though it wasn’t my car

  • Rave: Got back last night from a four day bachelorette party. It was fun, but four days straight with people is pretty exhausting… First time in Ocean City (which was very… bro-y), the sea was apparently unusually warm and we had a really fun time swimming in the big waves.
    Rave: Looking forward to a third date tonight!
    Rant: I have three good friends leaving DC this week for grad school/new jobs. 🙁 Going to miss them!

    • Did you get dragged to Seacrets? I feel like every bachelorette party goes there.

      • Haha, yes, we were dragged to Seacrets and there were indeed tons of other bachelorette (and bachelor) parties. The guys there were incredibly creepy/aggressive – we were all surprised it was so concentrated. Had guys come up and try to kiss us without saying anything, one girl got her back smacked, etc. The place itself was kind of neat since it’s so different from any other bar I’ve been to, but not really my thing.

  • Rave: Decided to extend my stint with the homicide division. Love the people and the work.
    Rant: Need to find a better way of rejecting stereotypes. I actively remind myself each day that the folks coming through are the exception, not the rule. However, it’s hard not to start generalizing when every case I work on has the same MO: drop-out, unemployed, involved with drugs, had kids as a kid with no partner in sight and seems to contribute nothing but violence and pain to their community. Starts to feel kind of hopeless.

    • Stereotypes exist for a reason… its unfortunate that we have become so PC as a country that we can’t talk about what the real issues plaguing certain cultures… instead we blame “the Man” and the “Po-lice”

      • Ha, I think my job makes me part of “the Man” and I have nothing but respect for the homicide detectives I work with – hardworking, dedicated cops who have an extremely difficult job.

        That said, I still believe believing in stereotypes is harmful and, for work, counterproductive. Having preconceived notions of who you are looking for can color an investigation and prosecution.

        • I am not for advocating stereotypes but am in favor of addressing real issues rather than dancing around them in order to benefit society as a whole. Blaming cops and institutional racism abdicates folks from believing in themselves and trying to improve their lot and their families lot in life… rather we have broken families, drop out, drug dealing and abuse and the rest of society bears the brunt.

      • Ta-Nehisi Coates’s new book, Between the World and Me, has many insights on growing up in a violent, poor, urban community with bad schools and how that time still shapes his mindset as a father and successful author.

      • What real issues? Racism and economic injustice? You’re right, people don’t want to talk about those but I doubt that’s what you meant.

    • I don’t do that kind of work…(and to be fair have no idea what its “really” like) but I think that the real problem (especially with police) is when the “stereotype” crosses the line into you no longer view these people as human beings. Once they aren’t human beings then they can be treated as such. Its a terrible thing to think about but I can certainly see how dealing with that kind of stuff day in and day out can get to you. I’m glad you are so self aware that you recognize you want to reject the stereotypes.

  • Rave: I do not need to include an automatic sprinkler in my house renovation. (!!)
    Rant: 2 week delay to make permit officer understand that I do not need to include an automatic sprinkler in my house renovation.
    Rave: Should have permit in hand by end of week.
    Rant: Will not be in by October, but hopefully by Christmas.

  • Rant: Last week’s round of chemo has totally knocked my dad on his bum. He’s been really exhausted this week.
    Rant: My mom told me last night that she’s officially been diagnosed with diabetes. She’s been on medication for a week but hasn’t done the blood sugar test because pricking her finger freaks her out. So, so frustrating.
    Rave: I slept hard last night and woke up feeling not exhausted for the first time in a week.

    • Oh geez. I’m sorry about all of the above. I’d be freaked out about the testing too. I wonder if a nurse or someone could help her do it a few times to get comfortable. I imagine it’s something that can get easier with experience and time. Yuck, though 🙁

      • She works in an administrative role at hospice and is going to have one of the nurses walk her through it (she’s on good terms with all of them). I will keep nagging her until she does it. I learned to nag from my mom, so I’m very, very good at it. 😉

        • Oh, that’s perfect! Then she has people who can help her repeatedly as needed until she gets the hang of it.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I’m so sorry. all the hugs for you.

  • Question: Just for kicks, what are some kitchen gadgets that have become indispensable for when you’re cooking/prepping/organizing, etc? I have a teeny tiny kitchen, but I think I’ve maximized it pretty well, and try to only have the tools that I need. Looking for inspiration for things I haven’t thought of myself.

    • I Dont Get It

      A personal chef?

    • GiantSquid

      zester/plane grater. A silicone basting brush.

    • justinbc

      Multiple cutting “boards” that are dishwasher friendly.
      Heavy duty orange / lemon press.
      Pizza peel.

    • Stick blender. (aka immersion blender.) You can use it for everything you can use a pitcher blender for, and many more things as well, AND it takes up less space.

      I also love my microplane: hard cheese, nutmeg, citrus zest.

      For organizing, rails/hooks under your cabinets will use otherwise dead space. I have all my mugs hanging under the cabinets, instead of taking up space inside them.

      • Three great suggestions – thank you! Would be nice to clear a shelf of mugs to be able to use for easy access to pantry staples.

      • +1 to all of this! We got a proper food processor as a wedding gift and I rarely use it, but I take out my old immersion blender on an almost weekly basis. Also love my zester, but I still use my old box grater a lot more than I realized I would when I got the microplane. And to builg on the rails/hooks idea – go up the walls! We have our knives on a magnetic strip on the wall, our paper towl dispender is attached to the bottom of a cabinet over a counter, most of our utensils hang from a rail over the stove, and all of our pots and and saucepans hang from hooks on the tall metal shelving unit I got from Ikea. Makes a HUGE difference! Also, I have some nesting spatulas in a bunch of sizes (seriously – they’re like the Russian dolls of spatulas) that can be used in so many ways esp. for prep work.

      • I love an immersion blender, but what it does anything a really good blender does, it doesn’t do it as well. If you need a creamy puree, for example, a stick blender won’t suffice. Not to be a Vitamix evangelist, but it really is something. That said, I still use my immersion blender for many things, especially when I’m too lazy to clear the Vitamix (which can be a pain – but they aren’t interchangeable.
        Agree about the microplane graters – I have multiple versions. Also the multiple cutting boards.
        A good, thin fish spatula is very useful, for all purposes.
        A well-seasoned cast iron skillet.
        I am a big advocate of just having a few good, very sharp knives – but I love, love, love my tomato knife.

      • emvee

        +1 for the immersion blender!

    • Bowls in wide variety of sizes that can you can store nested when not in use. A few really good knives.

      • +1 to these. My Duralex Lys Stackable 10-Piece Bowl Set gets more use than anything else in my kitchen and I still use two good knives I bought in 2004. Also, my miniature silicone whisk gets a surprising amount of mileage. I bought it on sale, thinking it might end up of the back of the drawer, but it comes in handy for a lot of surprising uses.

        • I’ve looked at these before and thought, who needs that many bowls, but it would more sense to use the right size bowl for your needs. Thanks for the rec!

          Agree with you about the mini whisk – can’t use the metal one with my pots and pans, so it comes in handy.

          • Having a lot of bowls in different sizes is so helpful for staying organized when cooking or baking. I use my all the time, even the tiny ones. It’s not a gadget, but another space saver for small kitchens is a pot rack. Seriously life changing!

          • I definitely don’t need this many bowls, but always have just the right bowl when I need it, and plenty of spares if I’m waiting on a dishwasher load or making a big meal. They are also surprisingly compact because they nest directly into each other, and I can even store things on top of them because the bowls are flush on top. LOVE these bowls.

          • yup, absolutely on the bowls. plus you can use them as serving bowls, either the smaller ones for little nibbles or sauces and the big ones for when you are feeding a lot of people at a real meal. Since they’re clear, they won’t clash with any other table decor! (Please tell me I’m not the only one who thinks about that stuff…)

          • Emmaleigh504

            No you cannot not use them as serving bowls! OMG where did it all go so wrong? Cooking things stay in the kitchen, pretty things go on the table (unless you break all your glasses). NO TUPPEWARE ON THE TABLE, THOMAS!

          • @Betsy Transatlantically I absolutely do this.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I think we have to break up Shawess. It’s not me, it’s you. Paper mail is awesome and so are serving dishes! Damn, and you had such cute shoes, so much potential!

          • Emmaleigh504

            fair play iinsday with the hostess gift, you were raised right. paper mail is still fun grumble grumble grumble.

          • @The Enabler504, have you seen these bowls? They are completely neutral, simple glass bowls. I wouldn’t use them for serving a formal meal, but they’re hardly “Tupperware.”

          • Emmaleigh504

            I have bowls just like that. They are mixing bowls, not serving bowls. Serving bowls do not have to be spendy, but they do have to be NOT MIXING BOWLS.

          • omg. Who knew this topic could invoke so much rage?

          • Emmaleigh504

            In fact, I find my mixing bowls quite pretty, much prettier than QZ planner mixing bowls. But I don’t serve from them b/c they are mixing bowls.
            I may have opinions. And they are CORRECT.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Well, I wasn’t raised in a barn and only had 1 parent who was a wolf (tupperware on the table! *horrors*)

          • GASP The Enabler504! They’re definitely not Tupperware – I wouldn’t put them on the table for anything formal, but for a family meal? And if you’re tight on space, you need things to serve multiple purposes in multiple places. I LOVE cookwear that can double as servingwear – almost all of my bakewear can go from the oven to the table. (Thanks for the support, fka Shawess!)

          • Simply put, Taco Tuesday requires a lot of small, simple bowls. #noshame
            Also, my actual Tupperware (Glasslock containers) is beautiful but I would never serve from it.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Y’all are just wrong. Accept it 😉 [My place is waaay smaller than yours and I have serving dishes of all sizes (sometimes a pretty cereal bowl–different than cookware) and cookware of all sizes. PRIORITIES!]

          • Emmaleigh504

            Also, Sweden has Tacos every Friday! It’s a thing! Sweden is wonderful.

          • No lack of nice serveware in my house! Just love the little glass bowls 🙂 (Still don’t understand why this incites rage, but ok.)

          • Emmaleigh504

            Because one should use the pretty things one has! There is not enough pretty in the world. (It’s not real rage, but we are def breaking up, we can still be friends, I guess 😉 )

    • My top three would be garlic press, very small prep/pinch bowls, and measuring spoons that are meant to fit into spice containers (so narrow and long instead of round). I’m interested to hear what other people say!

      • +1 for narrow measuring spoons!

      • emvee

        I use ramekins in lieu of the tiny prep bowls so that if I ever want to make a tiny souffle or creme brulee, I have the option!

        • That’s what I told my husband I’d do when to justify the 6 little ramekins I bought to hold the items on my Seder plate. 15 months later… I haven’t made a single tiny souffle or creme brulee. Haha!

    • HaileUnlikely

      3 or 4 good knives. I have waaaay too many knives, but in reality, I could part with all but 3 or 4 of them and not miss the rest of them at all.

      • Are those 3 or 4 knives different blades? I’ve got a good chef’s knife, vegetable knife, and paring knife.

        • HaileUnlikely

          Yes. I personally would go with a utility knife over a vegetable knife, but otherwise, basically the same as what you list.

    • Small strainers (5″ and 3″) with handle, mortar and pestle, mandoline

      • Mandolin, didn’t think of that one! Recently got the kind of strainers you mention.

      • I’m going to add (because I use these just about every day for something) — pyrex custard cups 6 oz). I have yet to use them for actual custard but have found countless other uses.

    • Emmaleigh504

      2 good chef knifes and a pair of kitchen scissors. And a gumbo pot. No uni-taskers except the fire putter outter.
      not kitchen related, but food related. I decided to only use my silver to eat. 1. it makes everything taste better; 2. I realized I could replace it more easily than my “every day” forks and knives (I got them from the LSU cafe when evil Chartwells took over and got rid of the good utensils that said LSU Food Srvs for crappy utensils that you could break. Barely even metal.) I love to rock my silver with my ugly plate collection and my mason jars (bc I broke most of my real glassware… I need a dishwasher…).

      • Yes, kitchen shears. I use mine ALL THE TIME.
        And of course, knives. Everyone else said it, but it bears repeating. Get good ones, and maintain them.

    • A few good sharp knives, a good peeling tool, very small bowls for pre-measured/chopped ingredients, a steamer basket insert, and a silicon spatula come to mind. I also like having supply of basic white Corelle plates (so I’m not putting ingredients on our good dinnerware), as well as very small hotel pans that can be used for prep, roasting or keeping things warm.

    • I love my immersion blender (sort of a wand-thingie) more than I thought I would. A great tool, especially over the fall/winter for endless soups!

    • People already mentioned both of these, but…:
      Microplane – I use this so much more than any other grater. You can also use it to grate garlic instead of a press (I know I’m the weird one on this, but never understood garlic presses)
      A couple good knives – I have a chef’s knife, Asian knife (really don’t need both, but they’re both so nice), and a small paring knife. The rest don’t get used at all
      Cast iron pan – indestructible (almost), use on stove top or in the oven (I’ve used it to make roast chicken, pizza, casseroles, bread, etc).
      Nesting bowls for prep (I like metal, but plastic also works well)

      • You’re not weird. I have a garlic press, but if someone put a gun to my head and said “get rid of three kitchen tools” the garlic press would be the first to go. It’s monofunctional, and therefore doesn’t really deserve the space it occupies.
        (That’s a whole ‘nother thread, maybe for tomorrow, someone remind me: If you had to get rid of three kitchen things, what would they be and how much would you miss them? And no, the dusty souvenir beer steins on the high shelf don’t count.)

    • Microplaner
      a few good knifes
      cast iron skillet
      immersion blender
      regular blender
      dutch oven
      citrus press
      coffee grinder (also excellent for grinding spices and herbs)
      heat resistant silicon spatulas
      ove-gloves (because I burn myself a LOT and they are super heat resistant).
      oven thermometer
      meat thermometer

      • YES! Meat thermometer. I may only use it a half dozen times a year, but it really matters for those times. Also, it is a fun toy. The kids wander around the house and take the temperature of things: the couch cushions, the soil in the houseplants, under the cat’s belly…

    • If you use enough butter, I’d recommend a butter keeper that keeps your butter at room temperature.

      • Emmaleigh504

        don’t get me started on the butter knives… NO CRUMBS IN THE BUTTER PEOPLE! 😀

      • Emmaleigh504

        Also I really want one of those butter keepers (paging QZ). I have a very cute rhino butter dish, but I don’t eat butter fast enough and my kitchen is warm so it goes bad. I need one of those butter things that keeps it cool but spreadable (paging QZ).

    • Lots of people mention good knives – my knives are ok but would be interested in getting better ones. What brands would you all suggest?

      • Emmaleigh504

        I got a chef knife from Macy’s (brand? it was on sale), got one for my fave boy cousin too b/c he was learning to cook. The new well-ish made chef knife was so. much. better. than all the hand me down knives I’d gotten that I kept favorite boy cousin’s pressie. I also have a fab rhino shaped sharpener and honer to keep them sharp between real sharpenings by professionals.
        I’m home, I guess I can not be lazy and see if the sale knife has a brand…brb

        • Emmaleigh504

          Calphalon, 8″ chef knife. Best thing ever. I’m sure there are better knives, but it was the right price and so amazingly good compared to what I was using.

      • I really like my Ginsu knives. They were really affordable and work pretty well. Will probably upgrade at some point but they have served us well for a few years.

      • I have a small set of Wusthof Classic knives and I love them. BB&B, Crate & Barrel or Williams Sonoma often have them on sale.

      • I love my Wusthof Classic knives (8″ cook’s knife, 7″ santoku). I noted before that both aren’t really necessary, but I got them as gifts and love them both. The santoku one seems better for thinly slicing things while the cook’s knife is better at chopping and has a bit more heft for things like smashing garlic.
        Right now my dad swears by Victorinox, which are cheaper.

      • Thanks for suggestions! I have a few Victorinox paring knives which I really like but all my larger knives are just adequate.

    • A set of small prep bowls, tiny food processor, a great set of knives, and I love my Ninja blender.

      • Emmaleigh504

        +1 I had a tiny food processor, it was fabulous for my singleton self! But it broke in my move to DC. I need to get another (paging QZ).

    • TONGS – just the plain simple metal ones, what can open narrow or wide. I use them often.
      (Was this already mentioned? I might have missed it in the bowl discussion.)

  • GiantSquid

    Rant: Cramps.
    Rant: Mr. Squid doesn’t seem on board with the house. Maybe his therapist visit today will help.
    Rant: Place I really want to work is moving their office this week, which means a probable delay in hearing from them.
    Rant: Feeling really blah. Cried in public. I hate public crying.
    Rant: Emily/Emmaleigh/RhinoLady showing pictures of pretty, shiny things when I don’t have money to spend on them right now.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I would sell my remaining ovary for 1 of those Cartier items! But my ovary is on the old side, maybe a kidney…
      Metro makes me cry. Don’t know why and it sucks so much ass. Yep, I’m the metro crier, just pretend I”m not there.

  • Emmaleigh504

    So you may have heard that I will be at Southern Hospitality on Aug 19 for some snacks and beverages. I would love if you would all join me! And I’ve decided there will be a theme: RED. Be creative Ladies and Gentlemen!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: picked up a nasty bug at the worst possible time for work (only b/c someone won’t assign shit to other people).
    Rave: My boss is a Boss and said she’d take of the other person.
    Rant: My bed is disgusting.

  • emvee

    Rant: Who the hell puts flour in a coconut macaroon?? Sugar, egg whites, vanilla, coconut. That’s it!
    Rant: To those of you who think gluten allergies are BS, tell that to my office mates who have to share a restroom with me today.
    Rant: May not make it through today.
    Rant: That’s it. No more trusting other people to cook things I can eat.

    • Oh man I am so sorry. I am GF as well and the last time I was glutened it was a rough 36 hours.

    • Oh no! Flour in a macaroon is totally unacceptable. I’m so sorry. I was glutened a few weeks ago and it was a disaster. I hope you can rest up tonight.

    • emvee

      Thanks guys. I’ve had worse where I ate much more than I did this time around. Luckily it’s been a no-meeting day.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: So much disappoint. I’m going back to bed.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Ok, seriously going to bed now, my head hurts so much. Could someone please fix it? I”ll love you for ever and ever.

      • Have you tried the injectable migraine medication? It makes you slept but works for me.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I have a really good migraine medicine, Relpax, but this isn’t a migraine. Just a headache that won’t go away..
          Bonus rant: Just as I was about to take my nap Donna peed in the bed. (pls don’t be sick Donna!)
          Rave: Thank goodness my sofa is comfy!

  • Rave: still dating low match. had a nice date last night. not a high likelihood of exclusivity in the near future. still, it’s refreshing dating someone who is nice and makes you feel good about yourself. happy to have taken a chance despite the odds. if you’re online dating, maybe take a look beyond your high match percentage. they can surprise you.

  • Rant: regretting taking 2 babysitting jobs the day after getting back from 30 hours of traveling.
    Rant: lost my nosering on the plane when I used it to open the SIM card slot in my phone. I can’t find any others in my house so I guess I’ll pick one up tonight. I’m going back to the hoop and hoping my new principal is okay with it.

  • I Dont Get It

    Bonus Rant: Me! Since I make way to many typos I usually compose my Rant/Rave in Outlook and then copy and paste into PoP. Anyway I just inadvertently posted today’s version into the Excel spreadsheet I’m working on. Whoops.
    Bonus Rave: I wonder if anyone would notice it if I sent it out? I suspect no one opens anything from me anyway.

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