Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Kaitlyn Karpenko

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

273 Comment

  • EckingtonDoodle

    Rant: This dang heat…Fall, where art thou?
    Rave: Lunch date today! Something to break up the monotony of my 10 hour days.
    Rave: My pup is doing much better on the prescription dog food!
    Rant: Rx Dog food costs $90 for one bag.

    • That One Guy

      Rx food for allergy reason?

      • EckingtonDoodle

        Kind of, loose stool and digestive system issues. Vet said it was probably a sensitive stomach.

        • My pup had the same issues. After about a year on a prescription diet, we switched to Natural Balance Limited Ingredient Diet formulas. $38 for a 17 lb bag, max. Nathan’s been one happy hotdawg ever since.
          Ask your vet first, obviously, but this is what mine recommended.

        • That One Guy

          Sweet potatoes/yams work wonders too. You can just microwave them and mix right into the food. Lastly, try talking to the folks at Wylie Wagg. They can suggest a good dog food.

        • I’ll second the Natural Balance Limited Ingredient foods!

    • My schnauzer was on $90/bag prescription food. After about a year the vet suggested I try Verus and see if his system could handle it. He made the transition without any issue. It’s not cheap, but it’s not $90/bag either.

      • EckingtonDoodle

        I’ll check that out andie302. Where do you buy it? Many thanks.

        • When I lived in Del Ray I got it at Nature’s Nibbles, when I lived in Hill East I got it at Metro Mutts, and now I found out they have it at Wagtime.

        • Accountering

          Its like $15/bag for an 8 LB bag or so, just as an FYI. Big improvement from $90/bag!

  • Rant: Apartment hunting for studios in DC is stressful
    Rave: I have more days off saved up from work than I thought…nice surprise.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Bernstein Management, they are wonderful and have studios, even some really big ones! (I have one of their tiny ones and love it!)

    • Is it a matter of price, location or availability that you’re up against?

      • Well, I’m looking in the $1,200-1,350 range in the Cohi/Shaw/U Street + surrounding areas. So, it’s a challenge price vs location.

        • I could be wrong, but that price range sounds like it’s nearly impossible for a studio in those neighborhoods. Unless you have OP Anon’s apartment-hunting prowess and my sense is that takes a lot of time, patience, and ability to immediately commit with all necessary documentation on hand at the time. Or unless you’re willing to make deep sacrifices for things like safety, aesthetics, and size. And by that, I mean you might have to live in a small basement on a street with more than one recent homicide. I hope I am wrong, though!

          • I’ve actually had…some luck. I viewed a $1,200 studio at 14th and R. Saw a studio for $1,184 in Columbia Heights last night. But so far each time I’ve always been the 2nd or 3rd person in line and keep just missing them. I was actually surprised myself!

        • If there are any available, the studios in the Crestwood Apartments at 16th & Shepherd are a good deal at about 1150. There’s no building amenities other than in-building laundry, and you gotta be cool with parquet floors, but for the price and size, and location, it’s hard to beat.

          • Plus, utilities are included. S bus stops on the corner, and going south in the mornings, there’s rarely trouble getting a seat on the bus before it gets filled up down the road. Free, no-zone on-street parking, dishwasher, and more things I can’t remember.

        • When are you looking to move?

    • Go back to yesterday’s post about the Dupont studio. A few of us gave you some suggestions for finding cheap studios. Start Googling!

      • +1. These were really good suggestions.
        Some of the big management companies have rent controlled units that can be substantially underpriced and many don’t advertise on Craigslist, etc. One you find a few buildings that are in good locations, you can just call the buildings that look good and ask about availability and pricing. It definitely beats going to a million open houses!

        • When I was looking, I targeted the handful of buildings I was most interested in and kept an eye an their websites to spot when new units became available. The advice about being ready to sign the lease when you see something you like was so right. I missed out on a few apartments because someone else snapped them up while I was still deciding whether I wanted them or not.

        • Emmaleigh504

          Bernstein Managment. Trust me. I’ve met so many people that live in their buildings and LOVE them. I have coworkers in Bernstein buildings, random people on the street, etc. They are awesome and a good price. And they aren’t paying me to say this. I just love them.

    • Keener management!

    • I lived in Park Terrace (http://www.borgermanagement.com/park-terrace-washington-dc) 2009-2011 and loved it. I only moved because I took a hiatus to NYC for a few years. They are pretty cheap (I paid 1050 including utilities – again remember this was 2011) and it was a fantastic apartment. It didn’t feel like a studio because of the somewhat-separated bedroom area.

  • Rant: DC Council website…does anyone know if the council heard (and passed) the Shaw Whole Foods bill that Brienne Nadeau was supposed to introduce last week? I saw four articles saying she was going to present a bill to push it along last week but nothing from the council indicated that anything happened.

  • Rave: My mom arrives today! I haven’t seen her in a year and a half (we talk all the time though). I’m really looking forward to spending our birthdays together this week.

    Rave: Lots of fun things happening all week long! (Even though i have to work for some of the time)

    Rant: The Boy just never responded to my email. I’m sad. I thought he was better than that. (But at least I can move on. I’ve said all that I needed to say to him. ) I’m mad at myself that I wasted so much time on him. But I’ll get over it/him, in time. There’s a whole world full of fun new potential friends, potential love interests, just… potential. I plan on jumping in, full-force.

    Rave: My cat makes me laugh. I’m so glad I adopted her last fall – her weirdness gets me through rough times.

    Rave: My friends – they’re the reason I couldn’t leave DC. They’re good people and I am pretty freaking lucky to have such good people in my life. I don’t take that for granted.

    • Happy to hear you get some quality mom time this week! That time is worth it’s weight in gold.

    • Blithe

      Perhaps the non-response makes it a tiny bit easier to assure yourself that moving on is the right choice for you right now? When I read your comment about “jumping-in” — it made me think of the ball pit at the Building Museum. 😉 I hope your Jumping In adventures bring you joy!

      • I plan on going to the National Building Museum next weekend to jump in!
        It does make it easier, I just want to be more happy than sad about it.

        • I think it’s hard to exit a relationship without being sad about it — even if you know it’s a good thing, usually it’s going to feel bittersweet at best.

  • HaileUnlikely

    Rant: details from yesterday’s hearing for suspect in that crazy murder/arson back in May where that rich guy and his family were held hostage overnight and then killed and then the house burned down. “At 5:56 p.m. May 13, the alarm company that monitored the home received a “broken glass alert” for French doors…It remained unclear who was at the house at the time the alarm was triggered or whether the alarm company contacted the home.” (via Washington Post). Would love to learn what alarm company they had so I can make sure not to use that one.

    • I would not jump to conclusions. My alarm company doesn’t dispatch police or fire immediately. There is an intercom on the alarm panel. When the alarm goes off they call and ask for the codeword. After that, they ask if everything is okay.
      The story so far is that this maniac was in the house for some extended period of time keeping the family hostage. It’s not inconceivable that he could have forced the homeowners to respond to the alarm company’s call with an “all clear” message. The father supposedly called an employee to get him to bring over a bag of money. And the mother called the second maid to tell her not to come to work. Not surprising that they did this given the evidence that this guy tortured their son.

      • HaileUnlikely

        I’ve had an alarm system before, though I don’t now, and am familiar with the basic functionality. The whole point of a code word is that if the bad guys don’t know the actual code word, you can appear to be reassuring the operator that everything is actually “all clear” but not give them the code word or give them the wrong code word and then they still dispatch the police. The operators should be trained not to give any verbal indication that they’re still waiting for a code word or that the wrong code word was given. Yeah, sure, maybe the company called and maybe somebody there gave the actual code word, but still, doesn’t not inspire confidence. I’m not talking about suing the alarm company or charging with a crime, I’m just saying I don’t think I want what they’re selling – I see no harm in “jumping” to the conclusion of not buying a product.

        • After being enormously depressed that somebody could be so depraved as to torture and murder people in their own home for only $40K, I had the same thought as you….”if I ever get an alarm, I sure hope I don’t buy the one these people had.”

  • Rant: After feeling great walking to metro this morning, had to ask for a seat on a packed train because I felt dizzy after a few stops.
    Rave: Someone gave me a seat as soon as I asked. Thank you stranger!
    Rave: Nurse at work checked BP and it’s fine.
    Rant: Still feel a little off. Hoping it passes soon 🙁
    Rave: Still forecasting fantastic weather for tomorrow!
    Rant: My crotchety old lady cat still off her game post-kitten-fostering. Appetite is coming back slowly but it’s taking a lot of effort.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: So tired last night that I got in bed at 8. I didn’t go to sleep until 9, though, because I felt silly going to sleep before dark!
    Rave: Belated celebration of Eldest Zelda’s birthday today.
    Rant: I was too tired last night to make the caramel cake she requested.
    Rave: She’s okay with a storebought cake.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I tried to stay up til 10 yesterday (I had so many naps, it should have been possible) but I was fast asleep by 9:15. Yay sunburn?

    • Emmaleigh504

      Crap. And I forgot to bring a red envelope to work with me for Eldest Zelda. I wonder if I can find one here…

      • Are you near a CVS (or similar store)? Buy a birthday/graduation/etc card that comes with a red envelope.

        • Emmaleigh504

          no, but our bagel shop has cards. I’ll pop down later and see if they have a red one. If nothing else, we have red folders and I can make an envelope out of an old folder.

        • Emmaleigh504

          my officemate had a red envelope! yay!

  • rant: my desk lip balm has vanished into thin air. How??? Tbh its probably under my paper mountain.
    Rant: forgot my lunch at home
    rave: now I can get sweetgreen
    rant: housing anxiety. The place I want to move with my partner is waiting on getting final permits from the county and I can and can’t believe its taking a month+. permitting is some crazy ish. I might have to find a month to month scenario if it runs into august, which I’m not looking forward to…
    Rave: time to throw away and donate a bunch of stuff! I always feel lighter.

  • Rave: Entertaining metro drivers. Had one this morning who said something along the lines of “We are now approaching the Pentagon, center of our nation’s military operations, where despite what Donald Trump says, all those who serve are heroes.”

    Rant: Wedding nonsense. My sister’s future MIL says she’s not sending invites to the rehearsal dinner – which is 3 weeks away – because “we don’t do that in New York” (that’s great, but this wedding is in VA). Not to mention that she hasn’t decided on a time for the dinner, because “she’s not sure when everyone will arrive.” Here’s an idea – if you tell them the dinner is at 6, they’ll arrive by 6. When I get married, I’m eloping.

    • I love that metro operator. If it’s the same one I’m thinking of, he used to be on the red line. “Next stop, Judiciary Square. If you are serving on a jury today, thank you for your service! If you are on trial… good luck today.”

      • There was a guy on the green line who used to be so pleasant in the mornings!

        • skj84

          I think I had him as my driver a few weeks ago. He gave this whole privlage he was to have us as riders, and wish everyone a wonderful weekend. It was sweet without being overbearing.

    • Blithe

      I like — and totally agree with your Rave. Getting a talky Metro driver with a sense of humor — who also provides interesting information — really can make my day a whole lot brighter. Yay for entertaining Metro drivers!

      • +1.
        (Although there’s one guy who means to be helpful but talks a little bit _too_ much, and who I think provides more information than tourists can really absorb.)
        Love the Metro driver’s little jab at Trump!

  • RAVE: I am pregnant! I just, just found out. Still so very surreal.
    Rant: Way too early to tell anyone.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Wore the yellow gold necklace from Israel instead of the white gold Safe Necklace.
    Rave: Going to a jewelry store after for to play with the pretties and look for earrings (to go with the Safe Necklace).
    Rave: I had other rants, but I’m in such a good mood today I forgot them all! (except the nasty ass blisters on my shoulders, don’t worry, I Instagramed them so you can be grossed out too 🙂 )

    • Did the vinegar solution help at all? I hope it provided some relief, but may have been too late. I think it’s most effective in the first 24-48 hours after.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I bought a lavendar aloe spray that worked (and smelled) better, but thanks for the suggestion. I think it was too late, the blisters were already there. I can wear clothes today, so something is working!

        • Definitely go with the aloe at this point–it will help prevent your skin from getting as dry which should help reduce peeling, etc. Glad you’re feeling better!

          • Emmaleigh504

            The aloe spray feels sooooo goooood too. I bought several to try out and decided the Kiss My Face light moisturiing lotion spray will always be in my arsenal. Which is surprising b/c my mom uses their soup and it is AWFUL!

          • I really like the Kiss My Face shave lotion. Smells so good and it’s really nice and silky.

          • I’m not surprised their soup is awful. They’re a cosmetics company!

          • Emmaleigh504

            lol I did not even notice! soAp 🙂

        • Lavender Aloe?! Is it sticky like normal aloe? My skin and the sun also do not mix and I am always looking for something that will make it better.

          • My go-to is Burt’s Bees Aloe & Linden Flower After Sun Lotion. I love the smell of linden, and this stuff is not goopy at all.

          • Emmaleigh504

            It’s not sticky! You spray it on and are supposed to rub it in, but I’m not rubbing it in b/c ouch. And it soaks right in. No slime or stickiness, just sweet sweet relief.

    • When I read “nasty ass blisters,” I thought: “Emilie! TMI!!”… before I saw “on my shoulders.” 😉

  • Rave: Despite the heat and humidity, still got a decent run in pre-dawn. Encouraging that training is paying off in that it didn’t totally brake me down.
    Rant: Project that I detest and neglected is predictably breaking down. Bosses not happy. I’ll make a reasonable effort to salvage it, but while it’s awful to say, sometimes I wish they’d just fire me from it and let me focus on efforts that are succeeding and have useful outcomes. Unfortunately, nobody else wants to do it either but it just won’t die the death it should.
    Rave: Being universally praised for too long is exhausting. Taking a small reputation hit in order to set reasonable expectations and show that the emperor is naked in this case is completely worth it.

    • I’m jealous I feel like these last few days have been miserable and zapping me of all my speed on my morning runs. I’ve also had to take my salt tabs to prevent horrific headaches like the one I got on Saturday after my 12 miler. Keep it up!

    • Bear

      I hear you on your last rave. After many years of killing myself for my job I’m doing pretty much the bare minimum to stay afloat at the moment. I am just so burnt out, and there are too many other things that need my attention right now.

  • Rave: I got great news from a government agency yesterday, then I got to go spread the news around to my relieved coworkers. Small victories.
    Rave: a great friend is in town last minute and we’re getting drinks tonight. I missed her sooooo much.
    Rave: I got really good feedback on a work thing I was nervous about.
    Rave: I have no rants! I’m in such a good mood.

  • Rave: Thanks to the PoPvillager who recommended Unfuck Your Habitat “Terrifying motivation for lazy people with messy homes.” I appreciate the Kon-Marie method but UFYH seems more do-able
    Rant: Verizon technical support. I had problems over the weekend and the responses from different folks in their call center didn’t help. Promising things that I knew wouldn’t happen (it will be fixed by 5:11 pm today) telling me things I knew weren’t true, and then telling me “I know exactly how you feel” — No, you don’t!. UGH.
    Rave: Internets fixed
    Gin and Gardening gathering – how is this Sunday, 6:30, The Heights ??

    • I’m glad you liked it! I hope it helps. I definitely find it more useful and doable than a lot of the systems out there.

    • I was just looking at the UFYH website/Tumblr/etc. last night and thought it looked good — sort of like Flylady, but without the dated gender assumptions (i.e., that the user is a woman — usually married — with kids) and with a lot of swearing.
      It’s kind of a pity about the swearing — I’d be worried about accessing the site at work, for fear of too many swear words setting off an IT trigger or something.

    • Re Gin and Gardening – you don’t have to like gin or be a gardener to join 🙂

    • Works for me – (G & G that is.) I’m eager to see how everything is growing!

      • Ooops – just realized that is the last day of the Fringe Festival and I’ll probably be there, so that date doesn’t actually work for me.

    • I love UfYH! The emergency cleaning plan has saved my butt a few times. The app is worth downloading for the timer too even though it costs a dollar.

    • Oh! I might be able to make it to a Gin & Gardening event, though I admittedly care for / do neither – someone promised they could introduce me to a gin drink I wouldn’t hate but now I can’t remember who!

    • Pablo Raw

      For my internet problem solving needs, I always go with the online chat; there’s never a long wait and the people from India are very courteous and always ask me about the weather. What are the dates for G&G again? What’s the plan?

  • jim_ed

    Rant: The continued ‘Salon.com-ification’ of the Washington Post of publishing indefensibly stupid opinion and first person pieces to cynically drive hate clicks. The company may be doing better financially under Bezos, but the quality of stories has plummeted.
    Rave: Maybe we’ll actually get some rain today?

    • HaileUnlikely

      They still seem to turn out a solid investigative piece maybe once every couple of months or so. Their work on civil asset forfeiture, tax auction sales of homes where elderly people lost their homes over like $100, and a few others have been solid. They are in the middle of attempting to document every fatal police-involved shooting for the entire country for all of 2015. Some good stuff there. I thought the vast majority of the rest of the paper went to heck long before Bezos.

    • Yeah, their “Post Everything” or whatever the hell it’s called is absolute garbage. If I wanted the opinion of somebody who knows next to nothing, I’d go to a bar and if I’m only interested in “hate clicks” they still have grouchy old Courtland Milloy

  • Rave: I got a new job!! It is a huge step up career wise, and much better money and benefits than my current job.
    Rant: But I love my co-workers and will be very sad to leave here.
    Rave/Rant? I think my bf and I are ready to make the big step of moving in… which is all really great, except for the huge headache of moving, changing schools, etc. And worst of all, potentially leaving DC. I am so up in the air about it all and really don’t know what to do.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Congrats on the new job!

    • Congrats on the new job!
      Can the moving in discussion be broken into components to discuss individually? Obviously, it’s all intertwined, but isolating the difficult factors in preliminary discussions/thought experiments might help it not feel quite so big.

      • For the most part, it all makes sense. My commute would be exactly the same as it is now. It is MUCH cheaper to live where he is. Our kids are all awesome together and would be perfectly cool blending. The school would be a better school (though we would lose universal ECE for my youngest and bi-lingual too). I am also as positive as I can be that this is the right step at the right time for us and our relationship. But, then I’m like, wait, leave my city? Leave my kids’ school? Agh! too much change! I’m having a hard time determining whether it’s my gut telling me to hold back and wait another year (I will only move outside of the school year), or if it’s my fear.

        • That all makes sense, including the reluctance. Change is hard. Can you make your mind and keep it to yourself for a few days to see how it sits internally? If it doesn’t sit well, change your mind to see how that sits? Might be informative–kind of like flipping a coin to make a decision and then gauging your reaction to the outcome.

  • Rant: Understaffed post office with a bum self serve machine.
    Rave: Date Thursday, off Friday.
    Rant: 2nd friend this year needing an appendectomy. What’s the odds?
    Rave: I think it was Justinbc who recommended zillow lenders. I’ve been in touch with 3 who seem very capable of handling my refinance. Sometimes just throwing darts to see what sticks works well.

  • Rant: This weather is not okay for pregnant ladies.
    Rant: I have a lot of tasks I have to accomplish today, with no wiggle room, and just don’t have the energy for them. I really don’t know how I’m going to get them done.
    Rave: Husband and I agreed on boy and girl names in one quick and easy conversation. I think we both love the names we picked and they’re meaningful names for both sides of the family.

    • yay for the names! glad it wasn’t a battle and you both love them!

    • Wow, that’s great. I found the name decision unspeakably stressful.
      And, agreed on this weather not being acceptable when you have a whole ‘nother body (or two) inside your body, generating its own heat. But you won’t need an office sweater or a space heater to survive the over-air-conditioned office. So there’s the silver lining.

    • Emmaleigh504

      My sister and I were both born in August, only my sister was 2 months early. My mom is still mad at me for being “late” especially at such a hot time of year.
      Take care of yourself and if you decided you need a diff girl name, Emilie Hebert Melancon is a fab one! Or Liz Purr!!

  • Rave: My VSIP was approved!
    Rant: Not sure what this means for all the leave I have saved up. but either way, I think this is a good thing just have to make sure to not lose much sick leave
    Rave: house bathroom renovations drawn up – designer says it won’t be much to add a master bath, and might as well do it when everything is being done, which I agree with
    rant: prob can’t afford it. He recommended framing it and then finishing it when we sell our condo here. But the idea of like a not finished bathroom sounds awful to me.
    rant: MAN amtrak got expensive!!!!

  • Anonomnom

    Rant of all Rants: The builder of our condo strikes again. First time home-buyer here in a 3 unit town-home conversion, and we’ve already had to move out for 6 weeks due to a leak that destroyed the unit. Luckily, everything was covered under DC’s 2 year builders warranty, and the builder actually was good at covering expenses, so we ended up with a re-gutted unit. Probably a blessing in disguise, because it turns out he had some incompetent subcontractors, and other owners in the home are currently forced to move out to rip up and reinforce all the subflooring. Add to that that our (outdoor) garage door broke after just a year and a half of service, and the guy dismantles it so our back yard is open to the alley THEN tells us it will be 9 K for us to fix. GRR!
    Rave: I love the PoPville community, and want to shout out and ask if anyone knows a reasonable cost to install an outdoor garage door? 9K strikes me as high, though maybe it is not unreasonable?
    Rave: I’m going to get something with melted cheese for lunch, and I am super excited for the humidity to back off!

    • Is it one of those garage doors that are intended to be for a covered garage? Those things were not made for outdoor use and appear to break down frequently.
      You need to get a Pooner door. Those things are practically indestructible. And yes, those usually run $9-12K.
      Ugh, flippers.

      • Anonomnom

        A quick googling of Pooner and garage Doors lead me to a 2009 PoPville posting about them. God, I love this site.
        Thanks for the tip! Just curious, community, anyone recently had work done on these kinds of garage doors? Pooner seems like a good start, but since it was from 2009 I figured a refresh wouldn’t hurt.

        • I’m pretty sure Pooner is a local company that’s been installing roll up gates and doors in the DC metro area for the last 30 to 40 years. If you want a quality gate, you go with them and then guarantee their work forever. You get what you pay for.

      • Yep, we have had a Pooner door for 13 years. Still works great.

    • HaileUnlikely

      Reinforce all the subflooring? Yikes. Guessing some load-bearing walls were removed from original house with inadequate attention paid to their load-bearing function? Hopefully they get it right this time. And good thing this happened during the warranty period(!)

      • Anonomnom

        My thoughts exactly. Luckily our unit is ground level and still has load bearing walls in place. Would hate to wake up with a bedroom ontop of my bedroom.

    • What is the source of the leak? Shoddy plumbing? Or is the new roof already leaking? 😡

      • Anonomnom

        Shoddy plumbing, the pipes for the shower were not fascined correctly and became loose. Every time it turned on, water would spray out between the walls. We had no idea until the floors bubbled up.
        The silver lining on that was we got everything inspected during the fix to ensure that the unit was watertight with regard to outside leaks.

    • Totally recommend the pooner. No doubt its expensive (runs about $500 per linear foot of width, i.e…if your parking pad is 10 feet wide, it will be about 5K for the door.

      However, the door is indestructable. I’ve had a few neighbors back into it and never a problem. Also, the main guy (Pooner) is always onsite with his guys, is extremely nice and accomodating. He even programmed my homelink remote in my car so I could use the button in my car to open the door, rather than one of the remotes he gives you.

      Lastly, he has been back a few times since he installed mine, to install ones for other people in my alley, and he always comes by for 5 minutes to add some lube to the track, make sure the thing is still running well.

      Getting a pooner is like buying a suit at Nordstroms. The price takes your breath away, but the service and quality are unmatched.

      • I had to chuckle on reading “Getting a pooner is like buying a suit at Nordstroms. The price takes your breath away, but the service and quality are unmatched.”

  • Rant: too hot to care about how i look. less/no makeup = amazingly liberating
    Rant: date tonight. last date, maybe. prepping myself for an awkward ending. ugh.
    Rave: Ft Reno was so much fun last night! It was my first time going, and I hope it continues on for years to come.
    Rant: dog. anyone have suggestions for dealing with separation anxiety? she is fine if I leave her a KONG but no KONG = clawing at the door when I leave. help!

    • have you tried a crate? I know a number of dogs who love to be in their crate and it helps with anxiety. I also know people who rave about the thunder shirt for their dog.

      • emvee

        Crate + thundershirt + kong with snack does the trick. Also, if the dog is new or you just moved, it could just take a few weeks for the pooch to acclimate to the new surroundings.

        • I adopted her 3 months ago. Her behavior has been spotty. She hangs out in her crate and chooses to sleep there on her own but she just hates it being closed UNLESS it’s at night and she’s def too tired to fight OR she has a KONG. I’m gonna try the thundershirt. Thanks for the recommendation!

    • I don’t remember but can dog be crated or can you get a dog walker? Maybe a couple kongs to keep her occupied if none of those work.

    • That One Guy

      Frozen kong during the summer.
      Also, I found that my dog is more anxious when he hasn’t fully taken care of business like he may have peed and pooped once already in the morning but may need to go out for a quick pee or additional poop in order to relax while he’s left at home.

    • I only give her frozen kongs. Also walk her every morning and night and won’t go back until she’s done all her business so she gets like 40 minutes of walking every day which should be good for a little dog. I crated her while I was at work a few times. Tried it recently and she barked and clawed at the crate and had to let her out. Crating only works if I leave a frozen kong in the crate with her after a good walk. Thinking of getting a midday walker a few times a week to tire her out more.

      • I’d recommend a mid-day dog walker, it really helps my anxious pup. Also you probably do this already, but getting into the same morning routine is helpful so they always know what’s coming next. Every weekday morning we have the same exact same routine at the same time.

        Can you leave her out of the crate? My dog likes napping in her crate, but she hated being confined in it when she’s alone. She howled and screamed and chewed the bars. So we gated off part of the apartment and just leave her in the kitchen/living room area and she’s much better. As long as your dog is housebroken and not destructive she may not need to be in the crate all day.

        Finally, try walking her more than just twice a day. A dog walker will help. Also puzzle toys are great for mental exercise – there are kong wobblers and different kinds of treat balls that make dogs work for their food, which tires them out. I give my dog her breakfast in a kong wobbler right before I leave for the day, that way she’s focused on her food instead of me leaving her alone. If all else fails talk to your vet about medication. Prozac can really help with separation anxiety.

        • Now she roams around my apartment all day. I only feed her using the kong wobbler. It’s great. I also split it up her meals with a kong genius too. But it’s just difficult that I cannot leave my apartment even to throw out the trash without her barking and clawing at the door.

    • The crate suggestion is a good one! Also, a trainer told me to not make a big deal out of leaving or arriving home (i.e., don’t let it be an “event’). It seemed logical to ignore her when I was leaving (just walk out the door without petting her or saying anything, and make sure the bag/keys/etc. are right by the door) so she didn’t have as much time to build the anxiety. It’s harder to do when I got home because she’s so excited and adorable, but the trainer recommended walking around the house and doing my thing for a good five minutes before acknowledging the pup. She’s going much better now! Good luck!

  • topscallop

    Rave: second date last night went well. I like this guy!
    Rant: my work travel is putting a cramp in my social life. heading to West Africa this weekend
    Rave: quiet office this week, so I can get things done on my own schedule
    Rant: but lots of early morning phone calls
    Rave: coming in early means I can leave early, right? Especially with no one around to tell me otherwise…

  • Rave: Good morning and super productive already at work
    Rave: Biked in this morning, despite the heat
    Rave: It’s a good thing I don’t sweat a lot
    Rave? Shania Twain tonight

  • Rant: Husband’s unemployment ran out this week – really hoping he can get an extension. Job prospects are okay – he’s had some great interviews and is waiting to hear back from a few places but things never go as quickly as you hope and we’re coming up to the end of month 7 of unemployment. Something has to give.
    Rant: One job we both had our hopes up for may not even become a real job due to reorganization – disappointing because it would have been a perfect fit.
    Rant: Feeling a little hopeless but trying not to.
    Rant: Missed the bus by less than a minute and had to marinate in the stew that is today.

    • I’m sorry… I know how hard/scary it is to be out of work. When I was laid off, I ended up applying for jobs that were far below my skill set. This led to a pay cut when I finally got a job, but for me it was better than the uncertainty. Is this something your husband could do? I know it’s not feasible in many career fields, but if it is, it might be worth a shot.

      • Thanks – he is looking at and applying for jobs at a lower salary but so far nothing. He’s been a finalist for a few positions but nothing’s hit yet. Just got out of a meeting with a contract agency and they might have some work for him, pending references and conflicts checks. It’s not permanent, but it’s better than one salary that doesn’t cover expenses.

    • Accountering

      Keeping you in my thoughts on the unemployment situation. That sucks.
      I too missed the bus by less than a minute. I was walking up to it and realized I didn’t have my smartrip, so had to turn around. Worse yet is that it was a 79 (express bus on GA Ave) and instead I got on a 70, which is anything but express!

    • Pablo Raw

      “had to marinate in the stew that is today”.. I have never heard a more beautiful poetic way to refer to heat and humidity 🙂

  • That One Guy

    Rant: Dog had a major nose bleed this morning. He’s not feeling great, but don’t know if he’s suffering. Made the call to have him euthanized at home today but now he doesn’t seem all that terrible…don’t know if I’m doing this right.

    • oh no, I’m so sorry – can you wait and see how he pans out? In my (limited) experience, there’s usually a point at which it gets really bad….a nose bleed doesn’t sound terrible but I’m not a dog. Hugs to you – it’s such an awful decision.

    • As a dog owner, I want as much time with him as I can get, but I wouldn’t want to hang on until the last possible moment either. If you think he’s sliding down, I would likely keep that appt. Maybe talk to the vet to get a 2nd opinion.

      • Accountering

        I think this is spot on. So sorry to hear this, it is such a tough decision. Keeping you in my thoughts.

      • Getting a 2nd opinion in a case like this is really just getting an unnecessary extra bill. This isn’t a case of deciding on treatment for a young dog, but a question of how long to let an old dog linger before the inevitable. It’s a difficult decision, and a sad time, but if it is a question of a few days, I wouldn’t want to wait for things to get “terrible.” Is the dog eating and drinking?

        • Second opinion meant asking the vet he scheduled to come out prior to the appt. It should be free. Is the nose bleed indicative of the end time or could it be heat induced or something? I’m inclined to agree a few days is like not worth it. Let him go on a high note.

        • Accountering

          I agree with this advice as well. If you know your dog is going downhill, extra vet visits and stuff is just going to stress him/her out. I think the eating/drinking is an important thing. Someone else on here said it best – when he is no longer enjoying his life (stops eating/drinking) then it is time to end it. Wish you the best 🙁

        • That One Guy

          Thanks. Originally made an appointment to take him to the vet this coming Sunday to figure out what was going on (cancer spreading, hip dysplasia, liver issues, etc) and plan next steps. At this point it doesn’t make sense to prolong things out.

    • So sorry to hear this — what a tough decision to make.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I’m so sorry you have to make this decision. It’s so difficult and can be hard to tell when is the right time. all the hugs for you.

    • I’m so sorry; my heart hurts for you. Sending hugs.

    • oh dear! I’m so sorry to hear this! It’s so hard to make those kind of decisions, especially when the loved pet sort of “perks up” for a while, as if they don’t want us to be sad and are trying to cheer us up. Hope you are able to have peace about whatever decision you make.

  • Rave: I spent the very best time with my best friend. Balm for the soul.
    Rant: Severely jet-lagged and I have oh so many things to do this week.
    Rant/Rave??: My dad should be getting test results back to assess how he is responding to treatment. I’m trying to stay focused and sane while we wait.
    Rave: Despite the jet-lag, I am feeling very happy and focused this morning.

  • GiantSquid

    Revel: Had a good phone interview today. Even if I don’t get it, it feels good to talk to someone about what I want to be doing.
    Revel: Have a meeting on Friday for possible contract work.
    Revel: Lunch today with a friend I haven’t talked to in a while. Super hard not to feel isolated lately.
    Rant: Had to fax unemployment search history to MD today. Who uses faxes anymore?
    Rant: Former boss is said I resigned when I did not. Her reasons she gave investigator for releasing me were different than the reasons she gave me when I was let go. Why would someone contest a former employee seeking unemployment? Do businesses get penalized? Why is someone I considered a friend being a horrible person?

    • I believe part of the unemployment money comes from employers–and I think their tax rate may change depend on how many people from that company seek benefits. That’s not precisely accurate, but it’s something along those lines. That said, sh!tty to give you different reasons than the reasons given to the investigator.

      • Accountering

        You are mostly right. The money comes from unemployers in the form of taxes on wages. Based on your claims history, your tax rate goes up or down. So you filing an accepted claim would not mean your company CURRENTLY pays for your benefits, as those benefits come from the insurance fund, but their rates may go up in the future, and they will have to contribute more money into the fund moving forward. Basically the same thing, just a bit of nuance 🙂

    • What a d!ck move!!! But, investigators are very good about this stuff, and used to employers giving half-truths or straight up lies. Maryland is pretty pro-employee, especially in situations when there is a difference of opinion about resignation/termination. Good luck!!

    • Today’s lesson from the chats: When leaving employment, always get a letter from the soon-to-be-former employer laying out the terms in writing. If they give you a chance to write it yourself or contribute edits, use the language from the unemployment agency’s own categories.
      (Total shit move on the part of the manager. I’m sorry she’s compounding your stress.)

    • I remember when you first announced that your friend asked you to work for them. Didn’t you give up for current job to accept the position offered by said friend? This is such a shame how this ended. Im sorry this happened to you.

  • Rant: Friend is hiberdating. Listen, I remember the thrill of the new relationship. But when you have a friend who’s been there every day through two years of your divorce, who’s gotten used to having weekly lunches and spending half the weekend EVERY weekend together, who’s never let your calls go to voicemail in case you might be having an anxiety attack and really need talking down… it’s just rude to drop that friend when you have a new boyfriend. That’s tween behavior, and we’re grownups.

    • skj84

      Ugh. And she’ll probably expect you to be there if things go south. Hyberdaters are obnoxious.

      • Of course. I hope she’s done the same for you before because they sounds like a parasite not a friend. Friendships have to be mutual. It might be worth a conversation, but I’d just not make myself available for her next crisis. Sometimes people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone.

    • I am currently experiencing the same behavior with my friend because of a new relationship. It sucks.

  • rant: did anyone else hear the fireworks (or maybe gunshots, but i think fireworks) going off in columbia heights– specifically the alley behind 14th and columbia) last night around 1 AM? i think fireworks because my window lit up with the last one i heard. my poor kitties were petrified. i was just annoyed at being woken up.
    rave: USAA roadside assistance. my car battery died for some reason last week and after avoiding dealing with it, i called USAA this morning when i woke up. they were there within the hour to give me a jump and i even got to work on time!
    rave: looking forward to a weekend away with some of my closest girlfriends.
    rant: wondering which one of them will bail first.

  • PoPville: I need to sell a wedding dress. Any suggestions, besides craigslist?

    sorta rave: childhood in the deep south equipped me with the skills to deal with this ridiculous weather.

    • There’s a wedding dress consignment store in Gaithersburg called “I Do I Do”, maybe give them a call? There’s also Tradesy.com and preownedweddingdresses.com

    • My mom gave my wedding dress away to someone she met in Goodwill that was looking through them that happened to have a similar build as me. I took a tax deduction for it. My other divorced friend let another friend use her dress as a part of a Halloween costume as a mail order bride. Just some less conventional outcomes for you to consider! There’s also a consignment wedding dress shop in Del Ray that you could check on. I’m not sure of the name, but it’s right on Mt. Vernon Ave. Hope all is well!

    • Thanks for the suggestions! Unfortunately I need to sell it – my poor dog is having a very expensive surgery next week.

    • My sister bought a dress on Tradesy.com

    • GiantSquid

      What size are you?

  • Rant: Super vivid dreams last night have left me in a very funky mood today. I don’t know what my brain is trying to process but those dream were really bloody weird.
    Rave: The final ingredients for our Christmas fruitcake will arrive tomorrow. Baking will begin shortly after.
    Rant: Feeling like the odd man out today as my immediate family is all meeting together but my brother did not want me to come along (long story but generally we don’t get along). Even though it is for the best, it still kind of hurts to not be invited.

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: Went to the street dance party at the Cuban Embassy, it was fun to see people dancing
    Ravent: The fact that I had fun, doesn’t mean that I was celebrating communism, or Fidel Castro. I know communism from life experience and I also know capitalism and I can tell good and bad things about both systems.
    Rave: Seeing PoPvillians dancing at said party.
    Rant: My latin dance skills are really, really rusty.

  • Rant – All of my potted herbs on my tiny balcony died while I was away last week. Poor things are burnt to a crisp 🙁 I have to dig them up and throw them away because they are so depressing to look at. Any suggestions for plants that can survive in this heat in full sun? My balcony faces south.
    Rave – Smitten Kitchen has the best summer recipes. The tomato zucchini galette mentioned yesterday was amazing, and I made the raspberry buttermilk cake with a handful of “about to go bad” and it was so simple and delicious.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Rosemary, lavender and cosmos work well in my wee balcony gardend with lots of sun and pots that dry out quickly.

    • What M.A Lee said, plus basil, parsley, portulaca and purslane (flowering kind, not weed/edible kind), petunias. Plants that start with the letter P?
      Adding soil moisture crystals will help retain moisture, but they still may need watering every day/every other day.

      • My rosemary, basil, and parsley plants all died the week I was away 🙁 They were doing so well, but I guess the lack of water plus heat did them in. I may try again with rosemary, it seemed the most hardy, and adding some of soil moisture crystals. Thanks!

        • Many potted plants would have a hard time surviving for a week without water in the hot sun, although I’m surprised your rosemary and lavendar died. They are usually good balcony plants becuase they can take hot dry conditions.

      • Emmaleigh504

        (oooh M. A. Lee will be my next name! After the one I put in today that isn’t show up yet… oh wait, or maybe it is for you…I already forgot what I wrote. I need to stop interneting now.)

  • Revel: got my sweet bippy to the north to give my friend some space. I spent the early afternoon in Caesarea checking out ruins on the sea and now I’m reasting for a bit in my hostel in Haifa
    Rant: it took me 3 hours to get here from there
    Rant: I wish I were more outgoing to make friends in hostels. There’s only one other bed taken in this room so I’ll say hi when she gets here.
    Rant: my friend and I can’t agree where to go on our weekend trip! She doesn’t want to go into the Golan heights due to bombings and I’m not willing to source a weekend in 107* weather in Eilat.
    Revel: I have some cool pictures

  • Rave: Venue and caterer booked!
    Rant: Over the weekend, future wifey found out our wedding is the day before one of her sorority sister’s weddings (they’re close, wouldn’t say best friends, but friends if that makes sense). And even funnier is that they picked the venue that was our backup. So now my girlfriend is asking me if we should change the date and I’m thinking why do WE need to accommodate THEM? They haven’t even publicly announced they’re engaged. To me it’s not a big deal, in talking to her yesterday this might affect 6-8 people (basically 3 other sorority sisters and their +1) What say you guys and gals?

    • You planned first. They’ll need to deal.

    • Nope, not if you already have those things booked and there isn’t a large overlap in guests. My biggest advice in wedding planning (disclosure: I am not engaged, but my sister’s wedding is next month & the planning has all been quite dramatic) is to ignore outside opinions and focus on what’s best for you/what would make you and your fiance the happiest. It’s your day.

    • Are both of the venues in/near DC? And how much would those 6-8 people be affected if you both kept your dates and venues?

      • I was wondering the same thing — as long as both weddings are in the same metro area, it seems like it might actually make things easier for the overlapping guests. (Although the other bride would presumably be too busy to attend your wedding, and your fiancee might be too busy post-wedding to attend the other bride’s wedding.)

      • The venues are 20 minutes apart in MD (National Harbor area). I only mentioned the the 6-8 people b/c I’m not entirely sure if they are going to make both and I would guess 2 of the sorority sisters will be bridesmaids.

    • I say no. You can’t please everyone. If it conflicted with the wedding of a my best friend or very close family member, or other person that I absolutely wanted to attend my wedding, then I’d consider it. But a friend? I wouldn’t.

    • I would definitely not consider changing your plans. If they’re not close enough to have realized they might be planning weddings for the same weekend then they’re not close enough to consider changing your plans. It’s in the same area on adjacent days so there isn’t actually even a conflict, right? – if anything you might be doing these three guests a favor (if they’re traveling from out of town.)

      • One of her other sorority sisters got engaged recently and called my fiance asking what months we were looking at so ours didn’t overlap. So I thought that was awesome and considerate.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Not everyone invited to a wedding can make it. No biggie. Keep your date, let them keep their’s and let the invitees go to yours (assuming they get the invite first and RSVP before they get the other invite). If people can’t make it to your wedding or their wedding for whatever reason, it’s OK.

  • Rant: Two and a half weeks left. Can I stay in California forever?
    Rave: Two and a half weeks left. I felt like my Korean has gotten worse lately. Zero confidence in my lnguage skills today.
    Rave: Finally getting my living situation sorted out when I come back. Hope the new apartment is as wonderful as it is affordable for me. And looking forward to more PoPville happy hours once I’m back!

    • Nice to see you here, FridayGirl!
      In my own experience, language acquisition can feel like that sometimes. You-think- you’re getting good at speaking the language, then realize you need to work on some aspect of it and suddenly it feels like you’ve slid backward. But I doubt you actually have gotten worse. My guess it that you’re just realizing how much more you have to learn, and that’s a -good- thing.

      • Thanks, Shawess! You’re probably right. It’s also particularly difficult not to compare yourself with others when you’re in classes next to people who are learning their second or third Asian language and are just more natural speakers.

        • “[P]eople who are learning their second or third Asian language” — Whoa! Those are some seriously high achievers there. (Saying this as someone who made it to 301-level Japanese but found Chinese plenty challenging!)

    • That One Guy

      Is your confidence in the language skills a function of the amount of information you’re picking up? Like becoming aware of and trying utilize the correct grammatical structure and vocabulary and thereby getting hung up in the actual communication of thought?

      • These comments are late in the day on the east coast (my bad) but I think it’s more the frustration of finding the appropriate opportunities to correctly utilize new vocab/grammar and actually REMEMBERING to do it. I usually jump straight to the thought, since I can communicate most daily thoughts/problems without too much of a hassle. But then I end up sounding like a first grader when I should really be talking like I’m in middle school at this point.

  • Bear

    Rave: Wedding dress is shipping the first week of August! Anyone know of good bridal tailors, preferably who have done a good job with lace dresses?

    • I loved mine — Green and Blue Studio, just south of Dupont Circle on Connecticut.

    • Maria at Anytime Alterations in Kensington MD was the best! I had complete confidence that my dress was going to be perfect – and it was!

      • Second. My wife worked with Maria on a consignment wedding dress, a lot of lace. there were a lot of modifications, all excellently done. Very detail oriented and high quality work.

      • I’m getting my lace dress altered there! It’s not cheap but so far the dress is looking great.

    • Congrats! Angie Cavallaro, whose shop is in the basement of her home in Fairfax, is incredible. She re-styled my mom’s lace dress from the 70s for me, and several friends (with various types of new dresses) have been really happy with her as well.

  • Rant: Results Gym. The AC crapped out last week and they have been completely closed the last three days. When I and several others noted that we should receive a discount for the trouble, they replied and said no because it would be really, really hard to do, and offered – free bottled water instead. This place has been going to hell in a handbasket and this is the final straw, I will be cancelling and urging anyone else to do the same

    • Yeh, I gave up on Results after the price continued go and up the facilities and number of classes went down. I switched to Vida (around the same price) and haven’t looked back. I do miss the Revolution Yoga class though.

    • At least you don’t work there! A friend does and she lost three days’ of pay.

      • Wonderful, between the patrons who paid for a closed facility and the employees who were docked pay I imagine it will be a very cheerful atmosphere this week. The management of this place is really a piece of work

  • Gardening rants/raves:
    Rave: My gladioli have flowered.
    Rant: They do not match the colors shown on the photo on the box. The box showed the flowers as being a magenta-ish red, pink, and white. In reality, they are an orangeish red, a pinkish white, and now yellow with a red circle. This means they kind of clash with my magenta crape myrtle rather than complementing it.
    Rant: The color issue, the shape of the flowers, and the fact that the gladioli are so much taller than what the box said they would be (maybe a yard high in reality, vs. the 18-24″ stated on the box) are all making me wonder whether they were mispacked/mislabeled and are regular gladioli instead of “gladiolus nanus” (the name on the box). I specifically returned all of my regular gladioli bulbs after learning that regular gladioli can’t really be planted in this region unless you dig them up and “overwinter” them (they’re meant for warmer climates), and that sounded way too labor-intensive for my liking.
    Rant: The irises that sprouted from bulbs continue to do poorly, and a lot of the bulbs didn’t even sprout. Grrr.
    Rave: The irises I planted from rhizomes (tuber-like things) that I got from Freecycle seem to be doing well.

    • I’ve had irises not do well for the first year or two and then get going like gangbusters. Maybe they just need time?

    • Emmaleigh504

      The crepe myrtle’s in my ‘hood have been at peak flower the the past couple of weeks. They are gorgey and I think of you when I see them 🙂
      Gladioli: perhaps they mutate colors like tulips. I’m also surprised you would have to dig them up and over winter them here. They are some of my dad’s fave flowers and they did just fine in his yard in East Tenn without being dug up. But I really don’t know anything about plants. I have a greenish brown thumb and continue to try to grow violets in condidtions they do. not. like.

      • Hmm… I suspect East Tennessee is warmer than D.C. (Although maybe not at the higher altitudes?)

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Mental illness sucks. Not dealing well with this manic behavior plus weird things are disappearing like my reading glasses and drinking glasses. WTF? Tenant leaves for CA tonight so I can pull my house back together and dig up the interior house plants he planted in the back yard. Still on PTO but must go back tomorrow and fess up to my boss how far behind I am on some deliverables.

    • Thanks for the update — I’ve been wondering how things are going. Is the CA move for the tenant (somewhat) permanent? A chance for him to get better care?
      I hope your boss will be understanding. In my own experience, supervisors are generally more understanding than I think they might be. I hope your experience is the same!
      Regardless, I hope you’ll be nice to yourself, or come here if you need someone to be nice to you. You have legitimately gone through some hard sh-t lately and it can take some time to recover from that. PoP has your back!

      • I Dont Get It

        Thanks for your kind words. He’s visiting friends for a few days and planning on coming back. My dilemma is I feel I am toeing the line between being a supportive friend and enabling bad behavior.

        • I doubt you are enabling, per se, unless there’s a lot more to the story than you’ve shared here. From what I can tell, you have been patient in cases where most people would absolutely not be. Most people would have evicted him months ago, and with good reason, or at least told him “where” he could put his smudge sticks.
          While he’s away, I wonder if it would be useful to try to think about how to create some healthy boundaries. By that, I mean boundaries in which you as a landlord and as a person can feel like your home is your own and like his problems are yours to solve. A good therapist could be incredibly helpful here. Eviction may be the answer. Stricter house rules may be the answer. But it sounds like something needs to give and that something shouldn’t be your own sanity, your well-being or your home.
          It’s obvious that you care a lot about your tenant, but I think the oxygen mask on a plane metaphor works here. You put yours on first before helping others because if you don’t, you could both suffocate.

          • * like his problems AREN’T yours to solve.

          • I Dont Get It

            I’ve suspected some of his behavior has been drug induced which he he just admitted after just returning from his therapist. He says he will cut back on the Adderall and Clonipin but I have my suspicions since I believe he has multiple prescriptions. Eviction is most likely the answer. I can’t deal with this any more.

          • You might need to get things in motion for eviction pronto — I get the feeling from that if a tenant resists, the process can take a LONG time.
            I think you said you’d been in contact with his mom, right? Maybe you can get her on board with the idea of him moving somewhere else? (Maybe even his going back home for a while?)

          • A quick search on this (and I am no lawyer) suggests that the eviction process can be streamlined if there are illegal drugs involved. I’m not sure if that applies in this case — they sound like prescription drugs but it’s unclear if he got them legally — but it seems like it could shorten the process down to weeks rather than months if the drugs aren’t legal. See dc.urbanturf.com/articles/blog/how_to_evict_a_problem_tenant/5663 and dccode.org/simple/sections/42-3602.html

          • IMO, probably the best thing to do is to get him to agree to leave rather than having to go through a formal eviction process. IIRC, you can give a tenant 30 days’ notice if you intend to reclaim the space for yourself. In this case, though, it seems like as soon as possible would be ideal.
            Not sure how many possessions he has, but if you can get him (and his mother, if you’re in contact with her) on board with the idea of him moving out ASAP, I think that would be much, much easier than having to formally evict him. (It also sounds like it would be a nightmare to be engaged in legal proceedings against someone who’s still living in your own house.)
            And then change the locks.

          • I Dont Get It

            I’ve met his mother a few times when he broke his back and was in a wheelchair (OMG where was PoPville for those stories?) Anyway she was very cold and assumed we had romantic relationship and was unpproving. Harsh. Maybe it’s the Mormon thing.

        • I Dont Get It

          I don’t think DC tenant laws apply to room mate type situations. Regardless if push comes to shove I’ll give him three days notice and then change the locks. My personal well being overules legal niceties. I’ve been in contact with the friend he is staying with in SF. He promises to provide updates and to inderdict on any drug use.

          • It sounds like you’re on the right track here, IDGI. Glad you’re taking care of yourself!

          • Blithe

            IDGI, I’m pretty sure that you’re right — that DC tenant laws do not apply to roommate situations. While you have a more peaceful household, you might want to give some careful thought to your plan for giving your tenant three days notice — in part because those could turn out to be three hellish days, which won’t help anybody. Is there a chance that you could communicate with his mother, the friend he’s staying with, and maybe even your tenant before he returns from CA, to come up with a plan — even a temporary one? I guess I’m hoping for an intervention that says: “X might be a better situation for you right now” coupled with a plan to help him move so that he doesn’t have to organize what happens next without support. It might provide both of you with a bit more structure in a potentially messy situation.
            +1 to what others have said about your kindness and patience with a very difficult situation. I hope you are as kind and patient with yourself as you have been with your tenant.

          • I Dont Get It

            Thank you Blithe, good advice!

    • Extremely long-time lurker emerging to say that you seem like an amazingly patient and compassionate person dealing with a difficult and complicated illness and situation. Be kind to yourself. It’s frustrating to be unable to fix things–one of the challenges of mental illness is it defies human nature’s instinct to apply logical solutions that work elsewhere. I hope for good care for him and some respite for you in the days ahead.

  • Sort of stumped on rants and raves today, but they look sort of like this:
    Rant: Moving, grumble grumble. Denial. Packing. Tired. Nostalgic. To-do list is too long. Not enough time left. Distracted. Exhausted. Will I make new friends? Scary!
    Rave: New city yay! Excited to walk and eat and see new stuff. Online window shopping for the new place is fun! Good to get ducks in a row!

    • I Dont Get It

      Yay for new cities and new adventures!

    • Blithe

      Awesome rave!!!! As for your rant, moving really is pretty high on the list of major life stressors. Would it be possible to delegate or share some of the less-fun things on your to-do list — to make sure that you have time for the more enjoyable ones? — I did think: “hmmm, PoPville packing party? But realized that that, likely, would come with it’s own set of challenges! 😉

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