Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Victoria Pickering

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

172 Comment

  • Dear daughter, why did you insist on getting undressed before breakfast? And to my lovely spouse, why did you pack your cookies for lunch in clear view of our daughter? Yes, I know she was asking for a bagel (which I was eating), but she was pointing to your COOKIES and you were oblivious. Yes, it was that kind of morning. But hey, I’m at work now! 🙂

    • This reminds me of a Dear Prudie I read recently. The wife was annoyed because her husband would always start eating dessert before the toddler was done eating dinner. So then toddler was done with dinner because she saw Daddy eating cookies or ice cream and obvi wanted that. The wife asked him to stop doing that and wait until everyone was done, but he said he wouldn’t let a toddler dictate his eating schedule! So rude. Your wife’s obviously wasn’t this had though, haha.

      • I think I read a similar account on Carolyn Hax recently too. Agreed my wife was definitely not this bad and would never ever pull that type of stunt–it wouldn’t even occur to her to do so! She was just oblivious this morning. 🙂

        • Haha, meant bad not had! Oops, maybe I read it in Hax too!

        • This was definitely in a recent Carolyn Hax — a live online chat, I think. (It might have appeared in “Dear Prudence” too, but I don’t read “Dear Prudence” all that regularly.)

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Business trip to Montana next week. I love Montana.
    Rant: Record-breaking heat wave in Montana next week.
    Rant: My family used to own a ranch in Montana, which was sold during the Depression. Waaah.

  • Giant embarrassing rave: roommate just looked at the water meter outside and says the reading is different than what dcwater is telling us. I always thought the meter was this covered up thing outside so I figured I’d never be able to tell.
    Rave: high of 76 in Michigan. Feels nice to be “home” when I only visit every 3.5 years
    Rant: nothing to do here. Plans for the weekend mostly consist of dinners/lunches with relatives and to visit my mom’s cemetery plot.
    Rave: Michigan food!

    • That’s awesome! I hope that helps in your quest to not pay through the nose for water you didn’t use!

    • Not to throw doubt on this, but are you sure your roomate was actually looking at the water meter and not the gas or electric meter.

      The water meter isn’t hanging on your house. It is buried in the public ROW, usually in the sidewalk or tree box, and the lids aren’t exactly easy to get off.

      The gas and power meters hang on the front of your house in full view, and are easy to read. I only say this because I had a tenant last year thinking I was ripping him off on the the power bill and confronted me with “different readings”. When we went out front to look at the metro together, I realized he was reading the gas meter. The doofus’s face

      • Not to throw doubt on this, but are you sure your roomate was actually looking at the water meter and not the gas or electric meter.

        The water meter isn’t hanging on your house. It is buried in the public ROW, usually in the sidewalk or tree box, and the lids aren’t exactly easy to get off.

        The gas and power meters hang on the front of your house in full view, and are easy to read. I only say this because I had a tenant last year thinking I was ripping him off on the the power bill and confronted me with “different readings”. When we went out front to look at the metro together, I realized he was reading the gas meter. The doofus’s face was priceless when I pointed out he was reading the wrong meter.

  • Rave – ACA subsidies upheld, which is really good news for my company (we accredit health plans, including those in the exchanges).
    Rave – the largest government contract I manage just announced we’re getting a 5-year renewal. Job security!
    Rant – I’m on pins and needles waiting for the marriage decision from the Supreme Court.

  • Blithe

    PoPville Cosmetic and Cookbook Swap: This Sunday, June 28th at 3pm — Kogod courtyard (Portrait Gallery). Should be good! 🙂

    • skj84

      How late will you all be out? I’m working to 4:30ish.

      • Blithe

        This is a first-ever event, so it’s hard to know. I’m guessing until about 5, but that is highly dependent on the number of people who show, how chatty we are, how much we bring……. Sorry I can’t give you clearer info, but maybe others who plan to attend can chime in.
        – It would be great if you could come! I’m really looking forward to meeting more PoPvillagers in person! If there’s interest, we can also start planning for a Round Two.

        • topscallop

          Thanks for the reminder, I’m going to try to make it! I was up early this morning and started piling up Birchbox samples and things I’ve never used. What’s the plan for the stuff nobody wants?

          • “What’s the plan for the stuff nobody wants?” I’ve been wondering this too. I imagine not everything will find a home. I don’t mind putting extras the garbage if I must, but maybe the collectively wise readers here have some better ideas?

          • I’m not sure I’ll make it but I’d suggest bringing the extra samples to N Street Village, a women’s shelter.

          • Blithe

            Plan? The plan is that there IS no plan. Or at least not yet. I/we clearly have no idea what the scope of this is going to be. If it seems like a few samples, we could toss them. If other non-PoPvillagers are eye-ing our table with interest, we could share them. If someone with a kind heart, and maybe a car knows of a place such as Martha’s Table that would welcome any unused stuff, we could share them on a larger level, although I wouldn’t want to donate anything that has been used beyond our group. The simplest thing would be to be responsible for what we bring — but it would be great to have others chime in on this.

        • I don’t have many cosmetics to share, but I am moving and would love to get rid of stuff like hardly used hair spray and other assorted non-germ-spreading toiletries (I think I used the Noxzema once), stuff like that. Do those count as cosmetics or are y’all thinking specifically makeup?

          • Blithe

            Sounds fine. Just be prepared to tell people that stuff has been used – so they can decide if they’re ok with it.

    • looking forward to it!

    • I will be there! I got Giant Squid and jindc’s contributions this morning.

    • Pablo Raw

      I may show up, though I have nothing to contribute!

  • Rave: Heard a heartbeat this morning!
    WTF: May have heard a second heartbeat too. Dr. F said he thought he saw a second fetus but we need more better imaging equipment to make sure. Note that the chance of having (identical) twins from a single IVF embryo transfer is about 1%. Head is spinning.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: late June and I had to wear a sweater to work today.
    Rave: work situation is improving and heard through the grapevine the situation is not permanent..

  • I Dont Get It

    RAVE: SCOTUS!!!!!!!!
    Tearing up here!

  • Rave: SCOTUS!!!

  • Making a brief appearance to say…
    Rave: Finally got selected for an affordable housing unit!!! YAY!
    Rant: Not in DC right now so everything is up in the air — and there’s a chance it could fall through. But the community managers know that I’ve been asking when there might be a unit for over a year now, and they said they’re rooting for me and are trying to make things work.
    Fingers crossed.

  • palisades

    Rave: All the interesting responses about business trips yesterday. I got sucked into work for the rest of the day, so I couldn’t respond to anything else. But yes, textdoc, I do have a cat! She’s the easiest cat ever, and I have a few friends who are willing to take her when I’m out of town.
    Rave: Been a while since I raved about the Nats on here. They are finally coming together. Starting pitching has been lights out. Offense is clicking. First place!

  • Rant: People who keep making Charleston about race rather than finally addressing gun control in legislation. One of these issues we can fix, the other we cant.

    • skj84

      But Race is a huge element of Charleston. The killer actively seemed out a black church. He wanted to start a race war. While gun control is important it is irresponsible to leave out the racial elements of this story.

    • Blithe

      Rant: People who refuse to recognize the systemic racism that is embedded in this country’s history and culture. Recognizing a problem is often the first step in overcoming it.

    • Bad news: we’re way more likely to get something done on the race front than the gun control front.
      Worse news: Even the strictest gun laws that could ever conceivably pass in the U.S. would be woefully ineffective against keeping lone psychos from getting hold of a gun.

      • See: Anders Breivik (the far-right nut case who killed 77 people in Norway in 2011, using guns he had legally obtained there).

        • It’s great to point to the deviation from the norm, but in reality, licensed concealed carry gun owners are actually LESS likely to participate in crime compared to the general population. There will always be deviations, of course, like your Norwegian dude from several years ago, but most of the bad cases we see on a daily basis in the US are from people who are illegally possessing firearms (see: Washington, DC crime).

          • “[M]ost of the bad cases we see on a daily basis in the US are from people who are illegally possessing firearms” — I guess you’re not including among the “bad cases” all of the suicides, accidental shootings of family members, and domestic-violence shootings that are committed with legally owned guns?

          • textdoc, I’d need to see a really good breakdown on stats regarding suicides and accidents (domestic violence is a separate category in that it *IS* criminal). If you can point me to stats that break down suicides and accidents by permit holder vs. non-permit holder, that would be great. But my point remains the same, statistically speaking, concealed carry permit holders are less likely to engage in violence (criminal conduct) compared to the general population.

          • Accountering

            A legally owned gun is something like 46 times more likely to be used to kill yourself, or a family member, than it is to be used to lawfully protect yourself against an intruder. That says plenty for me.

          • Accountering


            You are *likely* correct. Concealed carry permit holders are the upper echolon of gun owners, and are very likely the most responsible – it is quite a process to get a concealed carry permit. It is not difficult to purchase a gun to keep in your house though. It is the idiots who feel the need to “defend their family” who then get their gun stolen and it winds up killing someone in DC, or they wind up using it to kill themselves or family members.
            My dad does home inspections for real estate transactions in Fairfax County, and he has estimated that in 1 of 20 houses (over 4,000 inspections since 2000) he will see a handgun/ammo just laying on a nightstand or something similar. Completely unsecured – and this is when the homeowner KNOWS they are going to have strangers wandering through their house.

          • Anonymous, I wasn’t taking issue with your assertion that people with concealed-carry permits are less likely to participate in crime — rather, with your assertion that “[M]ost of the bad cases we see on a daily basis in the US are from people who are illegally possessing firearms.” There are plenty of legally owned firearms that get used in suicides, accidents, domestic violence, etc.

          • Little late to the party so probably not gonna be seen, but to break it out for every
            1 – self defense shooting there are
            34 – murders
            78 – suicides
            2 – innocent bystanders
            that are killed!!!!!

          • Also to comment on only criminals will have guns, no that’s just patently wrong.
            A legal assault rifle in the USA cost $1,000, in Australia where guns are illegal, the same assault rifle costs $34,000.
            If you have $34,000 you’re not buying a gun and robbing a convenience store.

          • justinbc

            I really wonder if guns were illegal in the U.S. how long it would take to get them out of the system, with (if I recall) more guns out there now than actual people in the country. I know they will never actually be outlawed, but it’s an interesting theorycrafting experiment to try to fantasize about how exactly they would go about it, and the types of rebellions it would likely cause.

          • Mintwood, Australia is a strange example, but I’m not surprised you used it. They are relatively isolated in the middle of an ocean. There’s a different cultural and government setup there, as well. The high cost of an illegal gun in Australia probably is a reflection on how hard it is to smuggle them in via shipping/airplanes. That doesn’t apply here. A black market already thrives with drugs and guns in the U.S. Why wouldn’t it continue to thrive with even stricter gun laws? Mexico, Central America, and South America would probably be more than happy to meet the demand at the right price, and it wouldn’t be $34K a gun. That said, if you make all guns illegal- yes, by definition, only the criminals will have the guns- and guns they shall have!

          • We could also look to the UK for similar evidence of the security that comes after outlawing guns. I’d choose either the UK or Australia because while different, they are both far more similar to the US than any other country in the world culturally.
            As for being able to import guns from Mexico, no that wouldn’t work because we make their guns. Once our factories close down the source dries up and they start to run out of guns.

            If you want to discuss Australia having an advantage as an island, then please research why Colombia ships their cocaine instead of trying to drive/train it north. It’s actually easier to smuggle goods via water on ships. Imagine a road as wide as the ocean vs well the width of a road.
            It wouldn’t thrive with guns because they’d run out, it’s that simple.
            Solution is a massive buy back funded by the scrap from the recoveries, the improved property values (and thus taxes), and the reduced policing and medical costs.

      • It’s funny that it’s always the criminals who don’t like to obey the laws when it comes to illegally owning and using guns. It’s the law-abiding ones among us who are the ones who comply. We can legislate and regulate to our heart’s content, but those who break laws will… break laws. Whowouldathunk?

      • justinbc

        I wish I shared your optimism. The only way I see anything ever changing as a country on the race front is to have a majority of mixed race people (which likely will happen eventually, but not for decades or centuries).

    • It sickens me that the media narrative has turned this into an issue about a damn flag. Don’t get me wrong. The Confederate flag has no place in this country–it is a symbol of a racist, treasonous rebellion. But, banning it is not going to prevent another mass murder. There are too many damn guns in this country, and until we do something about that, we are doomed to relive Charleston/Sandy Hook/Aurora/Columbine forever.

      • +1000

      • justinbc

        Yeah. The GOP sees flag banning as another easy distraction to say “hey, we did something!”, now make us up some more guns alrighty?

        • Couldn’t agree more! And don’t forget Virginia Tech. And although Charleston is a horrible event in our history and it saddens me that race is still a huge issue in our country, if Sandy Hook and many children dying didn’t spark action I’m not sure what will.

          • Accountering

            It will happen again, and nothing will change. This is the best politicking that the republican party has done in ages. They were able to spin YET ANOTHER massacre into a race and flag issue. I would say bravo, if it wasn’t so sad.

      • Emmaleigh504


  • Rave: It’s Friday!
    Rave: Have a great idea for a gift. Does anyone have recommendations for a place to get a t-shirt printed in the DC area?

  • skj84


  • That One Guy

    Question to the Popville collective: sister is looking for a place to take the niece (a little over 1.5 years old) tomorrow. Any suggestions given that it’ll rain? Thanks.

    Rant: having to work tomorrow.
    Rant: coin card not working at Raresweet. I really should start carrying cash with me.
    Rave: My mom is funny.

    • building museum! You have to get there in advance for the building zone, but it’s a great place for that age. Also, in the morning is Harambe at Bloombar in Columbia Heights – two shows, african music – it’s good fun (but can be a bit much for some kids). Hope that helps!

      • I second the Building Museum! Even if you don’t get into the Building Zone area, they usually put stuff out in the atrium for kids to play with.

    • Ditto on building museum & bloombars. Also check out libraries–Mt Pleasant has a lego playtime Saturday mornings and others have story hours. You can also head to the zoo & go to some of the indoor exhibits if it’s not raining too hard for a bit of walking. Some of the smithsonian museums also have kids areas, but you’d need to take a look online to see which (if any) would work for that age range. I’ll keep brainstorming….

      • natural history is a good one for kids. Also air and space. But given that it’s high tourist time, I personally prefer the building museum. An 18 month old won’t last long anyway at a place like that. Portrait Gallery is also nice – they have a fun water area.

        • topscallop

          I just recommended natural history to someone last night looking for a kid-friendly outing. In the ocean exhibit, they have a tank with the fish from Finding Nemo that kids tend to crowd around.

    • That One Guy

      Thanks all. Suggested the NBM and looks like that’s the plan.

  • Rave: Very emotional. So happy. fight for equal justice isn’t over, but what a huge step.

  • Rave – Happy Marriage Equality Day – thank you SCOTUS!!!
    Rave – Love that my entire Facebook feed is celebrating – reminds me of what good people I have in my life.
    Rant – My (pretty serious) relationship of 6+ months is ending and he’s essentially ghosting on me. I have a hard time not having closure/not knowing what up. I actually think there’s something up with him that’s making him withdrawal, and I’m worried about him but being ignored doesn’t work for me – there’s no excuse to not communicate. I feel like I’m sadder than I should be since we weren’t together that long but I’m sad, tired, lonely and hurt. Not how I thought this would end.
    Rave – drinks with a good friend to celebrate SCOTUS tonight
    Rave – really good workouts this week and plans for more next week – good sessions make me so happy
    Rant – Frustrated that my “breakup” is clouding what’s otherwise a pretty good time in my life.

    • I love your second rave! My FB feed is just beautiful right now.

      • Thanks – as per Facebook, I apparently made the same observation two years ago when DOMA was overturned. I love that in my circle of people, I can assume that this is something that will be celebrated and not have to hear anyone complain about it!

        • I’m assuming right now that the complainers are just keeping their mouths shut. There are a few folks I imagine aren’t pleased right now, but I haven’t heard a peep.

        • Accountering

          I cleaned out all the idiots in 2012 during the election. Say Obama is a socialist, and bam, defriended. It has been really nice. Pretty interesting that when you get rid of people calling Obama a socialist, you also don’t have to see the fools calling George Zimmerman a hero, DOMA a disgrace, and presumably angry that their neighbors can now marry who they love.

  • RAVE: SCOTUS!!!! Love is love and I am sitting back here in my cube, crying tears of joy. This is an incredible day.
    Rave: No rants for me today – there is nothing (for me) that matters in comparison.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Fun? I think I’m going to spend too much time reading all the #tcot a55hats cry on twiter.
    Ravest of Raves: Marriage Equality!

  • Rant: I am an idiot. Didn’t pay an insurance bill on time. It was cancelled. Thought I could just get it reinstated, but apparently since it was three months ago, I have to start over again from scratch.
    I don’t need to make any claims, and maybe it won’t be that big of a deal… but nonetheless I feel like I have failed at being a responsible, organized adult.

    • Now feeling like even more of an idiot. After AN HOUR AND A HALF on the phone, I was about to be finalized for a new policy with the same insurer/underwriter I had before… until it turned out that they won’t write policies for condo buildings that have roofs that are more than 20 years old. So I had to go through a different company, and ended up with an annual premium 3.6 times the amount that the one with the other company was going to cost.
      Really kicking myself now.

    • It’s a long shot, but last year my mom missed a payment completely by accident and had her insurance cancelled (right as she was having some expensive procedures done, so good timing). She called them and insisted that she mailed the payment and it got lost. It actually worked, they took a payment over the phone and reinstated her insurance as if there hadn’t been a lapse.

      • Nevermind, I read “insurance” as “health insurance”, no clue how accommodating home/condo insurers are.
        Not sure exactly what you’re going for, but I got my condo policy through Geico (I think the actual company is Assurant) and they didn’t have a problem with the age of my building (built in 1925). Good luck, sounds so frustrating! I hate when something like that happens and you feel like you can only be mad at yourself

        • I’m with Geico too. The policy that lapsed was from Travelers. The Geico agent had to redo it as though it were a completely new policy. I was all set to go with Travelers and a $106/year premium… until the agent said that Travelers won’t write policies for condo buildings that haven’t had their roofs replaced in the past 25 years. (I wrote 20 earlier, but I think it was actually 25.) The roof in question is 28 years old. Because I didn’t get the Travelers bill (due in March) paid and the policy was cancelled in May, I’m now with Assurant at $382/year. I have nobody but me to blame, I feel like an idiot, and I’m really mad at myself.

  • Rave: LOVE WINS! best rave in a long time! It makes me happy to no end to know that all of my friends here in the US can, if they wish, now marry whoever they love! I know there will still be battles, because there are still clowns out there, but the war is essentially won!
    Rave: PoPville cookbook/cosmetic swap on Sunday!
    Rants: don’t have any right now!

  • justinbc

    Rave: Friday, and great temperature for working outside when I get home.
    Rave: Finally found a solid Thai delivery option in Capitol Hill.
    Rave: Finally getting the lights we bought in Morocco installed in the bedroom tomorrow.
    Random: We’ve got a 2 BR / 1.5 BA home for rent in Old Town if anyone knows anyone looking. Rent is $2,900 but flexible depending on lease length.

  • skj84

    Rave: The overwhelmingly positive posts about SCOTUS decision on my Facebook. With the exception of one person, pretty much every post is full of love and support of the decision. I did have one friend who choose to reply to my initial post with a snide remark about the affordable health care decision yesterday. Whatever, she has to live with herself.

    • Anonynon

      I see. Well, aside from posting opinions on Facebook don’t be surprised if people come back with their own opinions. That is what they are. This is America not everyone has to agree with each other. You do also realize that our government is the most inefficient corporation in the world and it is going to F* this up. There are some people that want to repeal it to get rid of some of the bad parts (Reduced choice in doctors, etc) and come back with a better bill, hopefully that is actually read all the way through. But it seems like you have your opinion and if people don’t believe your side you just dismiss them. Sad state of affairs.

      • skj84

        To be honest her remark wasn’t necessary And as someone who has her very affordable insurance through ACA while unemployed I FULLY support the affordable heath care act. Always will and nothing will change my mind. One of my very best friends was able to get life changing surgery she wouldn’t necessarily afford due to Obamacare. I know its not perfect, but its the right thing to do. Look out for your fellow Americans. Have some empathy.

        • Anonynon

          that makes sense! And if it wasn’t the government running it, I think I would be more enthusiastic about it. But i work for the government, I know what its like. And its scary imaging them running a health insurance program efficiently.

          • Government runs Medicare Part D in a similar fashion. The subsidy component is less complicated, perhaps, but one exists. And I’m pretty sure that Part D has largely been lauded as a successful innovation within the Medicare program.

          • The government also runs Tricare insurance for military families. It consistently has the highest satisfaction rankings of any managed care program.
            3 of the top 5 ranked health care providers (in terms of customer satisfaction) are government programs – #1 Tricare, #4 – Medicare, #5 – Medicaid
            Let’s face it – the private sector sucks at health care. Profits are always going to win over quality and affordability.

      • C’mon Anon. That’s an unfair attack. skj84’s friends (with one exception) all think alike. Isn’t that what we’re striving for? Isn’t this something to be celebrated? Forget echo chambers of thought- unison of thought is ideal. Far less to worry about when we all agree!

        • ugh, really?

        • Anonynon

          Its good for some people but not everyone…someone is paying for all this. The comment was more general (didn’t mean to make it personal) it just seems that people are so dismissive of people who have alternative views. If you express your views in a logical way and are not forcing them on others that is great! but being dismissive of everyone who doesn’t agree with you is childish. Theres two sides to every story, both can be heard and discussed.

          • Accountering

            Yes… It is being paid for with a 3.8% surcharge on capital gains for couples who make $250,000+. I think this is a tremendous way to fund an initiative to expand health care to a population that otherwise couldn’t get it, by closing a HUGE loophole in our tax code (WAY too low of tax rates of capital gains and dividends, of which something like 95% accrue to the top 10% of the population)

      • fyi on the “reduced choice in doctors”–as a health policy wonk, narrow networks are a pretty nifty innovation. A lot of the “must-have” hospitals/doctors are charging a large premium that isn’t necessarily warranted based on comparative outcomes under most circumstances. Innovations such as narrow networks and tiered networks may actually put a dent in the growth of health care costs–so long as there is enough competition in the insurance market to ensure that the reduced costs get passed through in the form of lower premiums and cost sharing.
        And while “some people” may want to repeal it to pass something better, republican members of congress haven’t yet come up with anything more coherent than just repealing without anything to replace it with. And that’s still the case five years after passage of the ACA–perhaps largely because so many of the components of the law were originally republican ideas. Just check out the ideas that Heritage Foundation was proposing 10 years ago.

      • Accountering

        It isn’t a sad state of affairs when I dismiss people who’s opinions are wrong. If they understand the ACA, then sure, but people who blather on about a government take-over of healthcare and reduced freedom are simply wrong, and it is appropriate to simply dismiss that.
        I am not going to engage with someone who has no clue what they are speaking about.

        • Agreed. No one should be forced to tolerate uninformed fools.

        • Then it’s settled, Accountering. You determined your opinion was correct, so that’s that.
          In all seriousness, though, there are plenty of opinions on this divisive and complex issue and they don’t end up as black and white as Accountering might suggest. The people “blathering” about the government takeover of healthcare sounds like a straw man. We all know it’s about making bank for the insurance companies. I’m invested and my portolio is doing spendidly- let’s go ACA!!

        • Agreed. I am tired of hearing “my healthcare went up so it ain’t affordable!” It’s a complete misunderstanding of the law and the way it works. Disagree all you want, but don’t get pissed off when someone who truly understand it explains it fully and disagrees with you on it.

  • rave: Finally, one of the kitties has decided to keep me company on my telework day, even when he’s not hungry. I guess 2D is too busy pooping in the neighbor’s koi pond to hang out with us.

  • Rave: Finally had the laundry-related conversation with my basement tenant, and it went much more smoothly than I’d anticipated.

  • Rave: SCOTUS decisions on marriage equality and on the Affordable Care Act
    Rant: Letter from OPM re your personal information may have been exposed etc. Not surprised, still a rant
    Rave: Farm time and garden produce – sungold tomatoes, cucumbers, snap peas, zucchini and lots of kale

    • While not mitigating the rant re my personal information potentially hacked, I just enrolled in the credit monitoring and identity theft protection offered through OPM. Should be for longer than 18 months though.

  • Who makes the best Jamaican food around here? Specifically curried goat?

  • Rave: SCOTUS, definitely proud of this weeks’ decisions.
    Rave 2: Rain, didn’t have to water the garden this week and it all still looks happy. Anything to make it cooler these days.

  • Rave – SCOTUS!!
    Rant – A very close, dear friend asked to borrow a lot of money from me yesterday. I’ve helped her out in the past with small amounts, mostly for her two kids. If I’m able to give her a little money here and there to help offset the cost of diapers or formula or whatever, I’m happy to do so and don’t expect it back. Her and her husband both worked and were living pay check to pay check. A few month ago she lost her job and he quit his job thinking he had a better one lined up (stupid, I know). They’ve been really struggling to make ends meet and it’s taken them longer than they thought to find new jobs. She said they were desperate. I wanted to help her out but I just couldn’t lend her the amount she asked for. It was a lot. I have my own bills, student loans, and I’m paying for my wedding which is in a few months. She knows this. I feel bad I couldn’t help her, but I sort of hate that she asked me for that much to begin with. I don’t know. I just feel bad all around.

    • Allison

      If my uninformed internet opinion makes you feel any better, I think you did the right thing with respect to your friend. Saying “no” was a temporary hurt for now that could end up saving your friendship later. Getting over a “no” answer to “can I borrow some money” is way easier than getting over things that may happen if the repayment plan goes south, or never happens at all.

    • Particularly with friends/family, it’s best to not give money that you need/expect to get back. So you were right to say no–and the discomfort of doing so is likely much less than the discomfort of following up on a repayment plan if it’s not being carried out. So I understand why you feel bad, but you shouldn’t have to. It sounds like a tough spot all around. I’m sorry.

      • I second this. Brother borrowed a large sum of money from our parents to cover legal bills with the written understanding it was to be paid back over time. Fast forward a few years and it is a constant source of frustration for my parents, who feel he’s not respecting the agreement.

      • +1. You should give with the idea that you’re likely not going to get it back. If you have student loans, a wedding, etc, I think you’re more than justified in not giving anything right now (especially because you’ve provided support in the past). Try not to feel guilty about this. It sounds like you’ve been a good friend, and you can always provide non-monetary support. If she can’t see that, her loss.

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