Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Victoria Pickering

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

200 Comment

    Rave: Seersucker Social was very fun (though I missed Pride!), dancing, new friends.
    Rave: Despite losing my keys everything turned out fine.
    Rave: My officemate had a dream she was abducted by aliens. I will now spend the rest of the day working to convince her it wasn’t a dream.

    Wonderful weekend. Happy Monday! All the coffee!

    • Re: abduction. Yes! Sniff the air and ask if she smells that. Act shocked that she can’t. Say it’s like burning insulation or ozone or something. Repeat over the course of the day. Have another person pile on.
      When talking to her, act startled. When she asks what’s up, say “the bump… on your neck… I saw it move. Didn’t you feel it? I guess I imagined it…”
      Let us know how it goes.

    • skj84

      Did you do the long ride or the short ride? I did the long one. It was fun, but a bit hilly for my liking.

      • Unfortunately I lost my bike lock, so no biking for me this weekend. The photos of the ride are gorgeous though! I was really worried about the heat and resulting heat exhaustion for the riders. Did you go to the afterparty?

        • skj84

          Aw! I rented a bikeshare for the ride itself. By the time we started it had cooled down and the breeze helped a lot. I did go to the after party! I was pretty wiped out by that point and didn’t stay long. I did get a few dances in though. I was wearing an apricot colored dress with lace paneling.

  • Rave: Pride was wonderful and the clean-up crew did an awesome job in my neighborhood. So glad to finally catch the party after 6 years of living on the parade route and never being in town for it!
    Rant: Brother taking my baby name choice – even after I asked permission from my parents a while ago. But I’m not pregnant so I guess they get first dibs?
    Rave: Niece or nephew will be damn cute whatever they call her/him.
    Rant: Version control, people who respond to old versions of e-mails/messages, etc.
    Rave: Working AC and plenty of liquids to keep cool.

    • Family name? It’s unfortunate, but yes, he/she who spawns first gets dibs. It’s tough because as special as the name is to you, it is probably as special to him.

      • Yup – family name. I’m working on letting it go. But first, maybe I can have a little hope for them to have the other gender?

        • You’ll get over it eventually. And you’ll snicker when you hear that kids in school are picking on the kid because of this name.

    • Emmaleigh504

      You can still use the name when the time comes. One or both of the kids will just need a nickname or last name attached. All the women but me on my mom’s side are named Sarah. One goes by middle name, 3 attach a last name, one is little Sarah (no one is ever big Sarah!), one is Aunt Sarah, and about 2 go by just Sarah.
      You can make it work!

      • i don’t get this at all. for generations, my family has been naming everything with a penis “John” and then giving each their own nickname. i don’t get it. if you’re just going to call them something else anyways, why give them the name. every piece of mail that comes to my folks’ house is addressed to john [last name] and no one ever knows which belongs to whom. nuts!

        • Emmaleigh504

          The other side of my family does the first boy is John middle last name. I don’t like that b/c it is confusing. But the Sarah’s all get their own middle and last names, so even though there are lots of Sarahs, they all have their own name.
          Also, nicknames in my family are not normally what you would want on a birth certificate for example: Quotia Zelda.

          • Is that a real nickname? I thought it was just a POPville handle…

          • Quotia Zelda

            It’s a sort-of real nickname. My dad pretty much comes up with a new wacky nickname every time he sees a person. Some stick for a while, and some don’t.

          • Emmaleigh504

            other examples of nicknames that stuck that shouldn’t be on legal papers: Scooter and Punchy.

        • +1 to “i don’t get it. if you’re just going to call them something else anyways, why give them the name.”

          • jim_ed

            I’m on the opposite side of this argument. Giving the kid a nickname while retaining the likely more formal name gives them flexibility in their life on what they want to be called. In professional settings I go by my full name, while with friends I use the shortened nickname I’ve had since birth, which sounds a little juvenile for the workplace.

          • I meant this not so much for nicknames vs. formal names, but for parents who name a kid (say) James Edward Smith, and then call him Edward.
            I guess I can see the logic if the kid has the same given name as the father or mother, but otherwise, I don’t get it.

          • I have a long name that is shortened. When I was a kid, it was shortened with “-ie” on the end, and my parents largely gave me the name with the intent of using the “-ie” nickname. By high school, I hated that name, by college I started using the shortest version of my name all but professionally, but now in my thirties I’ve considered giving up use of the long/formal version of my name all together as I only use it professionally.

      • Quotia Zelda

        Two middle names! (Dunbar is a Sarah)

      • I Dont Get It

        My Grandfather, father and I all share the same first name but we’re called different versions of it within the family. It can work.

    • Yeah, I feel like this should be a generally accepted social norm. First kid to emerge gets the name, no matter what kind of claim any other family member feels they have.
      (Doesn’t mean I wasn’t slightly miffed when my SIL gave birth early, two weeks ahead of me instead of a week after me, and took the name I wanted. Then again, I didn’t know the sex of my impending kid, and it turned out to be the other flavor so it didn’t end up mattering.)

      • Blithe

        I have relatives who named two of their children after my deceased sibling (a nice tribute) and me — with no discussion of how I might feel about this. So while in theory I agree that names don’t really “belong” to anyone, I’m still more then a bit taken aback by this.

        • binpetworth

          I thank God my once-trendy moniker is now only popular among the canine set. I’d hate for a poor child in my (or anyone else’s) family to be inflicted with my name!

          • My mom was offended for years after a close family friend named her dog after me–first, middle, and last names (none of which are anything close to “dog names”). And then we got a dog, and she realized it was the most flattering compliment the friend could have given me.

  • Rant: I have a full social calender yet ppl still feel the need to set me up with someone before they even know my type. Spoiler alert: this woman didn’t fit the bill.
    Rave: Gay male friend surmised gays and lesbians don’t get along because they mistake one for the other. Then it happened to him.
    Rave: Wish I did more for pride, but it was still pretty fun.
    Rave: Roomie has been mia since I asked her to stop putting her greasy pans next to my clean stuff. I’m in heaven!

    • Ugh, I had one of those. Terribly unfun date. Lesson learned?

      • Should have been a try to set up but very aggressively nonetheless. I’m pretty open-minded actually. Sorry yours was such a lame time.

    • your friends have good intentions – if you’ve been sticking with “your type” and it hasn’t worked, maybe they’re on to something? Just a thought!

      • This person didn’t know me well enough to determine what has or hasn’t worked. I didn’t call her a friend because she’s a casual acquaintance at best. I actually date a wide swath of women. The woman she recommended is someone I’ve interacted with a few times, and I’m simply not attracted. I can be open-minded, but someone who is morbidly obese just isn’t going to work for me. My friends know that already.

        • Yikes. I do not trust anyone to set me up with people. My friends know better than to do that. Also, I never agree to it.

          • I’m out of the loop, I married the last person I ever “dated” (we didn’t date since he was just in a cycle of military training and deployment…you know what that’s like – no free time). but I’d hope to trust my friends to set me up. I’ve met so many nice friends from other friends since we all travel in different circles. but I wouldn’t do internet dating, so that’s why there are so many great options in 2015! Just hope you find a good relationship that makes you happy

          • I’ve never been fully set up, but I’d trust my good friends. She was just so pushy about it, and we’re not friends. Jin’s comment immediately made me think of you since I’m such an advocate for branching out.

    • Maybe I’m undercaffeinated this morning, but I don’t understand “Rave: Gay male friend surmised gays and lesbians don’t get along because they mistake one for the other. Then it happened to him.” Explain?

      • Less rave more funny, but it was the really good reason for why gays and lesbians hate each other (prevailing wisdom anyway). Girl hits on girl only to find out its a guy and vice versus.
        The scenario presented itself soon after. Girl comes up and asks if he’s gay because her friend was interested in a dance. We look around and the only person we see is a “woman” in the corner. That woman was in fact a man who liked my friend.

  • Bear

    RAVE: Awesome Prince show, especially since he brought Stevie Wonder on to do a set during his encore! That is two shows off my bucket list. So awesome.
    Rant: Going to bed past 2:00 AM on a school night. I need all the coffee today.

    • Ugh, dammit! That Prince/Stevie combo sounds incredible. 🙁

    • Emmaleigh504

      My new favorite conspiracy theory is that Stevie Wonder isn’t blind.

    • skj84

      I.Am.So. Jealous.

    • Ravity Ravity Rave Rave: Yes, Prince and Stevie were amazing!!! We danced so much we were sweaty after the show. Also glad to finally see Judith Hill live!
      Rant: Why isn’t Judith Hill famous yet?
      Rant: Who in the heck shows up to a Prince concert an hour after the show is scheduled to start, you ask? Two people who obviously don’t know his music and proceeded to be disinterested the entire show. How rude! It wouldn’t have bothered me so much if the tall dude sitting in front of me hadn’t been a bean pole blocking my view of Prince at any given moment.
      Rave: Went to bed at 2:30 am, work up at 7:00 am, and still have my wits about me at work. That means I’m going to crash pretty early tonight.

  • Anonynon

    Rave: Had a creative breakthrough on my music project, been so long since iv been able to create an idea like this.
    Rant: song is still only a minute long but the potential is there

  • Rave: A great weekend full of friends and delicious food.
    Rant: Neighbor I really like making a request that feels unreasonable to me but I’m having a hard time responding because I like her and we often band together on building issues.
    Rant: Car AC rattling so back to the shop it goes. Hate this Passat – would gladly turn it in early for a different car.

  • Rave: Wonderful weekend with the little brother. Thanks so much to the Popvillagers for your coffee suggestions, we hit Qualia, The Wydown, Dolcezza, Peregrine, and the Coffee Bar (maybe one more I’m forgetting about) before we had to call it quits from the heat and humidity. I’ll have to ask him which one he would rank as best, but it was a great time.
    Rant: Mondays suck. I got halfway to work before I realized I’d left my laptop at home and had to turn around.
    Rant: the humidity. I can. not. breathe!

    • Wow, that’s impressive! Just how much coffee did you all drink? I think I would have been a twitchy mess drowning in my own sweat if I’d tried that this weekend.

      • Ha! I only had coffee at two places, opting for water or iced tea elsewhere, but he had esperesso at each place. He fell asleep for about an hour after we got home, caffeine has pretty much no effect on the kid by this point, I think his blood is 90% coffee.

      • Heh, I was wondering the same thing!

    • oh man Dolcezza has a peppermint chocolate right now that is unreal.

  • Rave: trip to NYC was fantastic. It was so good to catch up with my former roomie and we did the perfect amount of eating, drinking, gallivanting, relaxing, and dog walking.
    Rave: This summer is all about seeing people I care about. Who needs exotic vacations when you get to see so many fantastic friends? I mean, I don’t mind exotic vacations, but nurturing friendships pays lifelong dividends.
    Rave: Book of Mormon tomorrow night!
    Rant: we have an underground garage at work, so there are lots of little sections separated by pillars. We had a little pod of DC cars going for a long time and my science/pattern brain loved pulling in and completing the pod, but now there’s a MD interloper.

  • Rant: too hot to enjoy pride. Took the kiddo to that “family fun zone” and it just wasn’t fun. Ugh!
    Rave: The diversity in this city – when you go to something like Pride, you can just see how great it really is
    Rant: Landlord thinks she’s moving in after us. On Aug 1st. But we’ll still be here. So….guess she’ll live in the shed?
    Rant: i won’t make the cosmetic/cookbook swap, I don’t think. Heading to PGH to visit my aunt now that the parade of visitors has slowed. Is there another cookbook swap planned? Or maybe I can bring what I want to allow others the chance to snag to someone attending?? I’ve got some great cookbooks. And a warming pumpkin mask! And loads of OPI!

  • Accountering

    Rave: Great weekend! Bachelor party was awesome and Dewey didn’t disappoint. Drive home last night sucked though!
    Rave2: Sounds like our final plumbing inspection is today. That means, assuming we pass, that we will be able to have our gas hooked up, and we will then have hot water, and a clothes dryer and oven. Good stuff!

  • Rave: SCOTUSblog – It fills my June Mondays and Thursdays with so much joy (and occasional frustration but it’s never their fault).
    Rant: I’m getting nervous about the mother-in-law visit. I really don’t know her well (we only met for the first time 2 days before our wedding 4 years ago and she was only in town for a few days) and she’ll be staying with us for 3 weeks. That’s a long visit for my introverted personality to deal with.
    Rave: Garden is thriving – so many squashes, eggplants, cucumbers, and tomatoes!

  • skj84

    Rave: Fantastic time at the Seersucker Social! It was a smaller turnout this year, which was fine by me. It felt more open this year. I had fun chatting up my fellow riders. The ride took us all over the city, including the Anacostia River Trail. I’d never rode that way before, stunning views. I loved seeing everyone dressed up despite the heat. Dandy Wellington and his band played the after party which is always a treat. I managed to get a couple of dances in.

    Rave: Finished Orange is the New Black! I have thoughts on the season. I do wish I had spread the episodes out more. I could digest it better. I may do a rewatch.

    • I am not enjoying the new season of OITNB at all. I’m only 3 episodes in and loosing motivation to keep watching. Curious to hear what you thought.

      • Emmaleigh504

        I had the same feeling, but it gets better around 4 or 5.

      • skj84

        The it gets better after episode 5. I was fine with the first 4, but agree they are kinda slow. The season does pick up the pace!

        • Emmaleigh504

          I liked that we got back stories on some of the other more minor characters like Chang and Boo.

      • super slow. we’ve only made it to episode 3 because i keep falling asleep. but can i just say how happy i am that v is gone!

  • Rave: Reaching through the fence to tear out the neighbor’s jungle of weeds that have been encroaching on my patio for weeks and weeks felt SO GOOD. The stalk of one was, no joke, as thick as my wrist. Why would you pay so much rent for an apartment with outdoor space that you never use and just let turn into a bug- and vermin-infested allergy factory?
    Rave: Family is coming to town!
    Question: Does the DC visitor parking pass really mean that they can park and leave the car in one spot for five days? (Assuming that the signs don’t indicate street cleanings or whatever.) I know this sounds like a stupid question, and I’m pretty sure the answer is “of course they can, stupid.” But I’ve never had a car in my 15 years in DC and am always surprised by how brutal parking laws and enforcement are. And I’d rather not spend Fathers Day at the tow shop.

    • yes – just be sure it’s in the proper zone and you pay attention to street cleaning. You should be fine!

      • Thank you for confirming that! And also for not making fun of my stupid question. 🙂

        • I definitely should caveat that by you SHOULDN’T get tickets. But sometimes parking enforcement can be dicks. But you would be in the right so there’s that!

    • Q- I recall from a previous thread that we are neighbors so I REALLY hope that it isn’t our front yard that is the allergy factory next to yours. I feel like it probably isn’t because we are at least hi/bye acquaintances with our neighbors on both sides and I hope they’d say something if our weeds were encroaching. but that being said, we definitely have some weeds — my boyfriend spent some time pulling them a week or two ago but it’s not the most pristine landscaping. (we also share the front patio with the upstairs condo so might not have been as diligent with upkeep as we should be/not sure exactly how responsibility is divided between the two tenants and the landlords.) anyway, I hope it’s not us but if it is, please say something! we are in one of the rowhouses right across from the alley.

      • Aw–you’re sweet! Thanks for checking! But it’s a backyard, not a front yard. And unless your weeds cover your entire lawn and are three feet high, my neighbors got you beat. It literally looks like a meadow, but I just pulled the five- to six-foot weeds and vines that I could reach that were coming through the fence.
        I want to put “vigilante weed-puller” on my business cards.

        • okay no, we have brick in the back so it isn’t us, whew! hopefully the neighbors will catch on soon though. good luck!

        • On the three-foot weeds… report your neighbors to DCRA. (Unfortunately not doable via 311, unless the phone operators have some option that’s not on the Web version.)

          • I reported them to the owner several weeks ago (theirs is the only rental in our building), and they apologized and scrambled to mow it. But they don’t seem to realize that you have to do it more than once every six weeks! This went on all last summer too, and I’m about out of patience. I shouldn’t have to ASK them to conduct a minimum amount of lawn care. I’m hesitant to go to DCRA though because that will pretty much blow up any semblance of neighborliness, and I’m a conflict-averse wuss.

          • Hmm… can you report them to the owner again? And/or to the property management company — they’re probably violating condo rules about maintenance of space, right?
            If you do end up reporting them to DCRA — they’ll be issued a Notice of Violation and given 7 days to mow. They get fined only if DCRA comes back and they still haven’t mowed. (IIRC.) But I guess it could still affect your neighbor dynamics.

          • Yes, they’re violating the condo laws, but I don’t actually know if it’s explicitly in their rental agreement or just assumed under the “general upkeep” clause. I’m going to give them until next week (see: conflict aversed-ness). The weed whacker that they use to mow (!!!) broke a couple of weeks ago, so they get just one more weekend before I complain, again. On the bright side, since the lawn is such a mess, they don’t host any more all-day corn-hole/beer-pong parties.

    • Nice going on the vigilante weed-pulling!

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: Had a great time at the pride parade, I even got to march with the DC Rollergirls (since I’m their photographer)
    Rant: Preachers that come to the pride parade to threat people
    Rave: The response of people to the preachers
    Rant: it is really hot
    Rave: getting a lot of sun
    Rant: photo trip to the zoo = fail. All animals were hiding from the heat, or sleeping in the shade. Oh well.

  • Blithe

    Rant: Snark vs. substance.
    Rave: Some things that I didn’t really want to do got cancelled.
    Rant: Some things that I really DID want to do got cancelled.
    Rave: Cultivating balance?

  • Rave: One more week until I leave for a few weeks in Croatia and Bosnia.
    Rant: I got an elbow to the face this morning on metro and my eye is starting to swell. I didn’t even think it was that bad but now I’m slightly worried.
    Rant: On hold for a work call and the music is AWFUL. It’s like the same loop of a pinnacle scene in Fantasia.

    • Please post updates! I’ll be there next month!

    • Which pinnacle scene? The literal mountaintop scene that accompanies Mussorgsky’s “Night on Bald Mountain”? (Or — as I liked to call it after viewing “Fantasia” shortly after a “Saturday Night Fever” soundtrack kick — “the non-disco version of ‘Night on Disco Mountain'”?)

  • Rave: Super fun, super busy weekend. Lots of good times with friends, and I did a Hana Market run.
    Rant: So tired since I was go-go-go the whole time.
    Rant: I can still hear water dripping from the leak inside my wall. No water damage on the ground or my room, but that can’t be good. The hole in the wall also means I can hear my loud upstairs neighbors too clearly.
    Rant: Taxes today. Sigh.

    • Thanks for the reminder on taxes. Would have totally spaced it!

      Additional rant: So sick. My cough is now so bad I just downed a big cap-full of Nyquil, the only thing in the house that seemed at all appropriate. Will probably conk out soon.

      • I almost forgot too except my coworkers were talking about it Friday! And fortunately I reminded my mom too when I mentioned them because she almost forgot… Sneaky things.

  • Rave: Since I put bells on the cats, way fewer dead birds showing up in the house.
    Rave: Cat door means I almost never have to change the littler.
    Rant: I think the little buggers may be pissing in the herb garden.

    • I understand that some people think that having outdoor cats is ok, but I’ll never understand why anyone would broadcast that they do something illegal (and bad for the cats and local wildlife).

      • It’s not illegal to have outdoor cats. Also, kudos to Irving Streete for adding the bells. It really does make a difference. Anyone seen these in use yet?

        • Huh – I could have sworn it was illegal. Maybe I was thinking about something I signed off on when getting our kitties from the DC shelter. Regardless, letting cats outdoors is a bad idea.

          I’m sure the people who have gardens nearby really appreciate that the cat’s owner doesn’t have to clean the litter box as often.

          • I’d love a few alley cats – AKA rat and mice killers. Sounds perfect to me.

          • In an urban environment, I agree with you. But growing up in the ‘burbs all our cats were indoor/outdoor cats, and they always seemed happy and well adjusted.

        • Actually it is. In DC, pets are not allowed to be “at large” meaning they cannot leave the property.

        • Yes, it is illegal. DC Code 8-1808(a): ““No owner of an animal shall allow the animal to go at large.”

      • Hey, why do cyclists roll through stop signs? Why do people not shovel their walks? Why do people not move their cars on street sweeping days? And how about putting dog poop in other people’s trash cans??
        (^^ just a few options for expanding your panty bunching portfolio. Enjoy!)

        • Is this where I’m supposed to apologize for caring about the well-being of animals?

          • What Irving Streete said: the cats are happier, and arguably healthier. My cat is more prone to urinary tract disorders when he is cooped up indoors, since he doesn’t pee as often in a litterbox. Plus his anxiety (which is alleviated by the activation of his animal senses outdoors) goes through the roof and causes self-destructive behavior (skin gnawing mostly).
            I don’t understand people who treat pets like plush toys, instead of like the animals they are.

        • Rescues do often require that you keep your adopted animals indoors (though not everyone abides by those rules). You aren’t wrong there.
          But it’s not *illegal* to have an outdoor cat, nor is it illegal to have a *yard dog.* We might not want it, but it’s not cruelty or against most ordinances.

    • The cats are happier and arguably healthier, the birds are now safe, the furniture is at less risk, the neighbors are apparently unfazed. And, for what its worth, free-range cats seem to be the rule on my block, as there are several who hang out in the alley (one that wants to move in to my house) despite obviously having homes.

      • Kudos if your cats are mousers / ratters, but I do worry about the poison they might ingest.

      • Were these the cats that were having trouble integrating into the same household — your cat and your girlfriend’s cat? (Or maybe it was your cat and your daughter’s cat?)
        Although generally I don’t think it’s a good idea to let cats outdoors, there does seem to be a sizable contingent of indoor/outdoor cats in your neighborhood (Mount Pleasant, right?). So I’m hoping that means there’s less to fear from traffic, etc. there than in some other D.C. neighborhoods.

        • There (the boys) are officially my daughter’s cats. My original cat (the girl) has moved to the girlfriend’s house where I see her often, and the girlfriend’s cousin/housemate is delighted to be cat aunt. It’s slightly weird but everyone, especially the cats, is pretty happy with it.

        • There are a lot of indoor/routdoor cats in Mt. Pleasant. Our first cat was actually a cat that adopted us, somewhat to the consternation of her own across the alley. There are a couple of others that come around — maybe we’re on the the feline grapevine and the mother of my cat who’s now living with the cousin actually abandoned her kittens (after they were weened) and moved in with a family down the block. They all seem to stay of the main drag and aren’t bothered by the alley traffic.

  • Rave – Caught the end of the Pride parade and enjoyed sangria on the patio with a friend on Saturday.
    Rave – Finally let the dog play off leash at the park and she had the best time ever!
    Rant – I hate this weather. Especially because –
    Rant – Our A/C broke last night and the repairman can’t come until tomorrow afternoon 🙁

  • Rave: my cousin moved to town! First time I’ve ever lived as an adult in the same city with a family member.
    Rave: he’s an SES!
    Rave: I get to help him find a new place to live!
    No rants today.

  • Oh -rave! TONS of leafy greens harvested from our ONE earth box. seriously folks, if you have no yard but have outdoor space, and earth box is the way to go! Kale, lettuce, chard, and beets. I’ll do a whole box of beets next year.
    Rant: i don’t like beet greens 🙁

  • Rave: Had a nice weekend with my parents celebrating their anniversary, cleaning the house, and checking out open houses.
    Rant: Coming back into the city last night to go grocery shopping with the masses in the middle of the storm. Ugh.
    Rant: Pretty uninterested in maintaining some old friendships. Plans seem like an obligatory drain on my wallet and energy.
    Rave: Making more of an effort to get together with great friends who I will really miss when I move in August.

  • Rant: When people don’t send you edits in tracked changes, but make broad suggestions in an email even though you requested they use tracked changes. Just makes my life more difficult.

    • YES. And don’t sit on it for days and send it back to me an hour before my deadline with a comment that I should add a couple of paragraphs on X topic. No; if you want them in there, write them yourself. There’s also a guy who will add a comment SUGGESTING that I fix a typo. He doesn’t *fix* the typo, he just writes “should ‘theer’ be spelled ‘there’?” And he doesn’t have a sarcastic bone in his body–he’s being entirely earnest.

  • Rant: It’s Monday
    Rave: Enjoyed the Pride parade and festival! Is it me or did it seem like the crowds are even larger than just a few years ago.
    Rave: The part of Pride that had the most impact was viewing a moving film about Matthew Shepherd and then meeting his parents afterwards!

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: I have had the same headache since Saturday.
    Rave: It’s not a migraine.

  • Rave/Rant: agreed to continue casually dating low match. we are so different a relationship wouldn’t be ideal but we enjoy each other’s company and it’s so relaxed. I have no expectations of a relationship and we actually discussed this. Rant mainly because I suggested we should set an end date to our fling and he wouldn’t agree to it and appeared to be okay at one point then changed his mind saying he wanted to see where it goes. I was clear that we should not be in a relationship and he shouldn’t rush into one because he’s only been in long term relationships. Be wild and free, man!

    • Anonynon

      Are you ok dating casually with no intention of getting serious? It seems like you say that but in the bigger picture, don’t you want a real boy friend? For me I am fine with casual but i will stop if i don’t see long term potential, but everyones different 🙂

      • I am fine with casual dating this particular person. We’ll probably be friends once it ends. He’s dating around because he has only been in long-term relationships and wants to see what it’s like to date people. I have the opposite problem. We want different things right now, but it’s still fun. Why end something that you enjoy however impermanent it is? Life is too short to stress about finding the “one” or a long-term partner. If it happens that we end up together, then great. If not, we still had fun. Shouldn’t have to place too much pressure and expectation on one person. Just let it happen naturally.

        • Seems a bit contradictory. If no one is leaving town, why put an end date on a fling? He’s keeping his options open and being upfront, so I’d see him telling you if feelings developed or he wanted to be serious with someone else. That’s the first I’ve heard of such a thing.

          • Again, everyone is different, so I don’t think it’s weird to want to know when something will end or at least set a time for us to reexamine what is happening and assess. For me, it seemed like the safest option to ensure that we won’t fall into a “relationship trap” (hard to explain: but I mean just settling into a relationship that is okay but not the eff yeah simply because we’re comfortable and are too lazy or scared to move on and be single). Doesn’t matter anyway, since we don’t have an end date.

          • I guess that makes sense. I don’t think you’re any less single because you’re going through relationship motions esp. if he’s still dating around. Maybe I see it that way because I enjoy being single, so if I’m going into a relationship the person has to really hit the mark.

      • I would be upfront, but see no reason to stop if its fun even without the long term potential. I’ve only given it a serous try once recently, and it tanked because she wasn’t honest about her feelings. Aww well.

        • Yup, we had the sit down talk about this. He’s a little confused about what he wants, and I like him enough to let us keep options open without any real expectations from one another. This is perfect for me right now. The future, who knows.

          • Anonynon

            It just doesn’t sound like what you really want and you are delaying that by continuing to see someone without any expectations of a future. I don’t know how much free time you have, but i certainly am the type of person who doesn’t like to spend time on things that are not long term. That usually takes about 1-3 months to figure out.

          • It’s great for the summer. I’m all for it right now because I’m pretty busy, and I’m over people being so confused about what they want but waiting a while to mention it. Just be upfront and take it from there.

          • Anonymous: my values are different than yours. I find that constan

          • Meant to add that constantly wondering if this person will be long term is too stressful for me. I’d rather just enjoy whatever is happening and take it from there. This guy is the same way. We are both unconventional and have that in common. Dating should be fun and for the first time in a long time I’m enjoying it because there’s no pressure.

          • Some people are able to multitask pretty well, so they can have something casual and continue to seek something more long-term if desired. I’ve never let dating consume my life. If your free time is that limited, I’m not sure how you have time to date…

          • LA-Unless you’ve seen something glaring that knocks it out of long-term contention, then why not treat every involvement this more carefree way? If at some point you’d like to lock it down with labels and such, do it, but the fear of it going or not going long-term shouldn’t be there. I really like the simple approach.

          • Anonynon

            +1 to anonspock…i think she nailed it on the head.

          • That’s what I hope to keep doing but I can’t be the only one the other person should be on the same page. Ideally I wouldn’t date someone who has a strict timeline for finding the one.

          • Should be noted this experience is unique in that before we even went on our first date we openly admitted to each mother that we have no expectations from the date because we are so glaringly different. I decided to go on the date because why not try the low match. I could at least get a drink out of it and a funny story. I guess having no expectations and no hopes for the date worked out.

          • I disagree. Let’s say the guy wants to be married in a year, and that’s too soon, I’d knock it out (or keep casual only with honesty). Let’s say it’s longer but faster than you prefer but you like the person just see how it goes. Maybe it’ll get to the point that they’ll want labels before you do but you never know. Unless the timeline is so short/strict that there’s no wiggle room, then I see no reason why you can’t be carefree and see how it goes. It’s just dating after all.

          • I didn’t see your 2nd post. That’s your issue. You’re expecting something from a date other than a normal (at least reasonably) person showing up and having conversation. That’s all a first date should be, imo. I go in hoping to figure out more about her and that’s pretty much it. Your expectations are so high that any deviation brings on lots of disappointment. I don’t see the point of the declaration. You knew you were different before you met. It’s almost like you’re trying to stop it before it has any chance to start. Did you initiate the declaration or did he?

          • Anonynon

            Maybe you didn’t mean to make it sound like this, but if I was a guy going on a date with someone and all they expected was a ‘funny story’ I would be pretty disappointed. Call me ‘serious’ but that wouldn’t make me feel good, and to add to it you expected a ‘drink’ out of it, I assume that means you expected him to pay? SMH this is why online dating is the way it is because stuff like that. Everyones scared to be serious.

          • He said it first. We are very unconventional breaking all the “rules.” from an outsider it seems ridiculous, but it worked out. We are just open about what we want and expect from dating. Indict expect

          • Anonymous: we are different. I paid for myself FYI but I don’t have to defend my decisions. I simply meant why not take a chance with someone who is different from everyone else you’ve dated or have liked. Lesson is just do what you feel is righr for you. Everyone is different

          • I swear this is my last post: most regular folks won’t approve of whatever I’m doing but that’s okay with me. I’m safe and enjoying my time. I’m in my 20s and don’t want yo

          • Accountering

            LA: I approve of what you are doing. To be honest, even if you are just in it to have a FWB, you are a grown woman, and that is totally your prerogative. I say carry on as long as you are having fun!

          • I approve on both the casual and branching out front. I didn’t see that being any rules broken just a strange proclamation if you wanna keep seeing each other. I absolutely inquire about what someone seeks if I have an interest as I’ve found profiles to be incorrect. Other than the proclamation I haven’t heard anything unconventional…Did I miss something? Bagel might do things differently, but it seems pretty normal to me.

            Bagel- there is a time to get serious; a first date isn’t it. You’re the oldest young man I know. Have you considered using a matchmaker?

          • Accountering

            Agree with the above. The thing you do on a first date is meet someone new, hopefully have some good conversations, and get to have a beer or two on a school night.

          • Well, posting again. Oops. Thanks, all. Anonymous and I will never see eye to eye. That’s okay. Anon Spock: oh I guess I didn’t share that we actually talk about the others we are seeing and are possibly interested in. We went to a party once and I hit it off with a really attractive guy and he asked if I was interested in that “handsome guy” I was talking to. I said no. Seems a little unconventional to me. Def appears more FWB right now but we both agreed that we like dating and just talking to each other alongside the fun stuff that comes with it. This could change if either one of us meets the perfect person and I’m okay with that. We both want that best for each other.

          • FWIW LA, you do you! There’s nothing wrong with dating casually at all. There’s nothing wrong with having a FWB.

          • Anonynon

            LA: Do you girl, all I am saying is you keep saying that ‘online dating is bad, i am quitting it, oh wait last date let me find the ‘least qualified guy as a joke’….All I am saying is you are contradicting everything you are saying. Thats it. Do whatever you want, its a free country. Just sounds like you set your self up for rant after rant. Still kind of irks me that people are validating making a ‘story telling game’ out of dating, that makes me sick.

          • Oh Anonymous, you just don’t get it And need to stop projecting your own frustrations and obvious failures. Online dating can be bad but I make the most of it and date INTERESTING people who may be like me or not. For the record I never called him not qualified to date me WTF does that even mean? We are just a low match but doesn’t mean he’s not good enough to date me. Every date is an interesting interaction good or bad and there’s a story to tell at the end but that’s not the main point. OMG who hurt you, dude? GEEZ.

          • Anonymous may well be projecting his frustrations, but he actually has a point with this comment: “[Y]ou keep saying that ‘online dating is bad, i am quitting it, oh wait last date let me find the ‘least qualified guy as a joke’….All I am saying is you are contradicting everything you are saying. [. . .] Just sounds like you set your self up for rant after rant.”
            Anonymous’s dating advice and commentary are usually way off-target, but if you replace “least qualified guy as a joke” with “guy who at least in theory is unlikely to be a match,” I think it actually holds true. Without consciously meaning to, you seem to be finding reasons NOT to pursue things with someone you actually click with (crush guy), and instead to pursue things that you know won’t go anywhere.
            If all you want is a fling, that’s fine. But it doesn’t really mesh with things you’ve said earlier. Maybe you’re trying to avoid hurt by staying away from relationships where you might get emotionally invested?

  • laduvet

    RANT: The coordination in getting my one-way flight to London and securing Penny (cat) as cargo on flight.
    1.) booked flight
    2.) got the run around on where to call to make cargo reservation
    3.) Then find out “chemicals” are on flight so she can’t come
    4.) now waiting for the call back with my “options”
    5.) Ready to cry … and “do the piety show” of change my flight for free, so I can make sure my animal is on the same flight.
    6.) Don’t want to hassle someone with dropping her off and going through Animal Inspection. – at IAD!

    • I went to school in the UK all be it a million years ago… instead of doing one ways, I would do returns for waaay in advance. For example, I moved in August with a round trip ticket, return date in December. when I went home in December, my round trip return was for that summer, which I didn’t end up using. At the time, it was cheaper and easier to get a round trip ticket. When I came home for good, it was post-9/11 and insanely expensive/ difficult to get a one-way.

    • Is there an option to take your cat inside the cabin with you?
      A couple of jobs ago, one of the issues I had to do some research on was the transportation of pets by air (and international travel for pets). I don’t mean to scare you, but what I learned made me think that I would want to avoid the cargo option unless the animal was too big to be eligible for the cabin.

      • laduvet

        British Air only allows therapy or Assistance dogs in the cabin. I don’t mind cargo as its a 7 hour flight and don’t want her crying. Cargo is done through another company verses BA and they specifically handle animals.
        It’s really hard to coordinate with two different companies and only specific flights allow cargo animals.

  • rave: hired a kid to clean up (weed, rake) our front yard patch. so excited not to be the embarrassment of the neighborhood anymore!
    rant: weeding. hate it.
    rave: college kids home for the summer who work on the cheap!

  • RAVE: Great Pride Parade and wild after-party on the roof of Balance Gym! Really good DJ too….
    RANT: Lost my nice sunglasses Saturday night, either at the afterparty or in my Lyft cab. Have messaged the Lyft driver twice and he hasn’t responded….I’m now fairly certain that he has the glasses. I even tipped him too! 😡
    RAVE: Commuted to work by bus this morning. Despite a transfer at K Street, it was way more enjoyable and less sweaty than the shlep to the Metro.
    RAVE: Wonderful, action-packed wedding weekend in California later this week!

  • Rave: Haircut/color! It feels great!
    Rave: Finally purchased a dining room set (and my friend helped me put it together)
    Rave: Weird Al concert was super fun!
    Rave: Friends also fixed my technology issues (soundbar/input/output cables) so it does everything I want it to do!

  • justinbc

    Reminder: Happy hour this week for PoP folks at City Tap House! (sorry for the late posting, the website hasn’t worked for me for most of the day)
    Rave: Great finale for Game of Thrones last night. So much death! And a whole new meaning for “walk of shame”.
    Rant: Going to have to replace our whole AC unit and furnace. They technically work, but the output is pathetic. Using Polar Bear based on some recommendations here. Their price for doing that work + adding a new tankless water heater seemed reasonable enough, although still quite a lot. Given that we’re in the middle of a very costly bathroom remodel right now too it’s pretty crappy timing.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: So much going on this week. I feel like I can barely catch my breath.

  • Rave: end of year field trip to the zoo was a success. No kids got lost!
    Rave: found a roommate for the tiny room
    Rave: wonderful day at Flag Pond Park
    Rant: pretty badly sunburned
    Rave: 6 more days of school

  • Rant: Groggy.
    Rave: At least today I have a good excuse for it — staying up too late.
    Rave: Got a lot done around the house.
    Rant: D.C.’s hot, sticky weather. And it’s only mid-June.
    Rave: Making progress with the plants in my yard, and getting nice comments from people walking by.

    • Additional rant #1: Yahoo Mail. I know, I know, I should have broken it up with it years ago and moved over to my Gmail account full-time… but I seem to have a “Yahoo Mail, I just can’t quit you” thing going. Everything is always fine… until it isn’t. Most commonly, the search function goes awry and tells me it can’t find things that I KNOW are in there. Grrr.
      Additional rant #2: I need to get my head out of the sand and look into refinancing, be it with Jeslett’s lender, Accountering’s lender, my current lender, or some other lender. Ugh… this Big Adult Stuff can be rather daunting.

      • I use yahoo mail and people definitely give me the stink eye when they find out. So I give gmail out in the hopes of switching over….but I’ve had the email address for like 20 years!

        • Emmaleigh504

          Same with me. Plus, I would have to notify so many people of the change, and that draws attention to the fact that I still use Yahoo. Pluse when I attempted to make the change wilth family none of them used the new email. So now I have Yahoo for family and shopping and some professional, gmail for social stuff, and icloud for computer and professional stuff and some social.
          My email situation is kind of a mess.

      • justinbc

        I use Yahoo to sign up for stuff. It makes it easier to segregate my essential from the non-essential.

  • In keeping with the weed theme, RAVE: my neighbor who is in love with his lawnmower. He does the elderly neighbor’s, the vacant house, and the whole treebox. And then he sweeps the clippings off the sidewalks.
    (A couple other neighbors and I try to shovel his walk in winter since he has a pre-dawn job. It’s kind of a competition, to see who can get to his place first.)

    • This is a great rave! And I love that there’s competition to shovel his walkway — nice neighborly spirit!

  • Rave: Great weekend at home with my parents, a beach day, a pool day, lots of clean laundry, groomed the dogs…it felt like I was in college again coming home to get all the things done.
    Rant: Missing not having plants to take care of this season. I don’t know if we’ll have our act together in time to get anything going this summer…but we’ll see. I love all the garden raves, and seeing everything in full swing on my walk to and from work.
    Rave: Progress is being made in other areas. (Right???)

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: I have a great rant about a Gayiskimo but I’m too busy at w.ork. see me tomorrow

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