Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Jim Havard

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

289 Comment

  • Rant: Wonderful person I know in a medically induced coma for the past week.
    Rant: Depression. I can’t fix anyone but I wish I could.
    Rant: No second date anytime soon. Apparently a kiss and saying we should hang out this weekend does not mean a guy is interested.
    Rant: Everyone seems to be interested in subletting my apartment until they go to sign the sublease agreement then they bail.
    Rant: Supervisor asking if I’m ok as if he’s concerned then telling me what I’ve done wrong this morning.
    Rant: No raves today.

    • Sorry FridayGirl. There’s actually a Friends episode about this phenomenon of saying “yes, I’d like to see you again” then never bothering to make that happen.

      Also I’m sorry for referencing friends.

    • I’ve had the kiss+a date planned only to have someone figure out they weren’t into me. Did he do similar or just fade? Sorry he was lame!

    • gertie_wickler

      I’m sorry you’re in the midst of such rant-worthy stuff right now. Maybe you can try to get out of the office for a treat later today (coffee? ice cream? coffee ice cream?) and indulge in the lovely weather. You deserve it.

      • Seconded. Icecream + Book at lunch in the sun maybe? Something relaxing and escapist.

        • Thanks — actually ice cream sounds delicious. Maybe I can go get some frozen yogurt or something at lunchtime, there’s a sweetgreen up the street. That’s nice to look forward to.

    • topscallop

      Ugh, I’m sorry. Is he totally ghosting, or did something come up for this weekend?

      • Thanks, everyone above! Sometimes it’s helpful to hear that my rants are rantworthy and that I’m not just crazy. Stuff just came up, but it’s things like “hanging out with friends” where he totally could have carved some space in for me if he wanted to see me.

        • I rarely manage to see my friends, so after only 1 date, I may pick the friends over the lady, but he should offer to reschedule quickly. You’re not his #1 priority, but do you really want to be after one date?

        • Okay, so I’ve done what this guy has done before, but then later explicitly said I wasn’t interested. Changed my mind somehow in the 24 hours after the date. He was cool with it. People need to be honest and not come up with BS excuses why even after we kiss and say we want to meet up again we no longer want to date. The “friends” excuse isn’t cutting it.

          • AnonSpock — that’s a great point, and no I don’t expect to be. But if someone says they’d like to hang out this weekend, and then if I say I’m free anytime on Saturday, for example, and he says “Ah, I can’t I have plans with friends” — my first thought is, you really have plans with friends the whole day? LA hits the nail on the head. I wish people would just say if they’re not interested! (And for the record, I did suggest another time but he said he was busy then too. He did suggest we could meet last night — but it was already 5pm when he suggested that! So that was a no.)

          • When you did this… what made you change your mind within 24 hours?

          • Plans with friends could be anything….moving or something perhaps which can certainly take all day and make you tired.
            I’m not generally a fan of last minute meetings, but he did try. You originally presented this like something came up to make him cancel when it was in fact mentioned pre date planning. That doesn’t sound so bad. In the same vein, couldn’t you move stuff around Sunday….?
            I’d look at my schedule, and pick a couple days you can meet if he’s busy for all, then maybe your schedules don’t mesh.

          • Anon: I started to think about stuff he said on the date that I didn’t like that made me uncomfortable. Hindsight the date went well, good chemistry, but certain things just bugged me and I couldn’t shake that. Notable: he mentioned having an affinity for Asian women so that was a red flag. BYE!

          • Anonynon

            really depends, he might have had actual plans like an event with friends. I can understand especially if it involved drinking with said friends…he probably doesn’t want to show up drunk around someone he just started seeing. That being said he should re-schedule something automatically…otherwise he’s probably not interested.

          • ILYSB has a point.

          • Re. “[H]e probably doesn’t want to show up drunk around someone he just started seeing.” Then maybe he shouldn’t drink to excess.
            It’s odd that FridayGirl’s date would suggest hanging out over the weekend… but subsequently rejected both weekend times she suggested. (FridayGirl, was one on Saturday and the other on Sunday?) If he had plans all weekend and knew he had plans all weekend, then why was he suggesting meeting up over the weekend in the first place??

          • Anonynon

            Textdoc has a point

          • She didn’t say both were weekend times, but even still stuff can come up over a couple days. Maybe he didn’t fully consider his schedule….people are stupid sometimes. He very well may not be interested, but I don’t get that vibe when he offered a meeting the same day as an alternative.

          • Anon Spock, why do you always have to play devil’s advocate? It can be so frustrating when you’re always being the contrarian to people’s posts. You’re defending Friday Girl’s date more than you’re defending her! Unless you consider her to be completely unreasonable, assume that she gave this guy ample time to see her this weekend and was being flexible, but she can tell that he’s just not interested. Sometimes people just want to rant and have people say “sorry taht sucks” than have you constantly interjecting.

          • Eliza- I’m certainly not the only person to present an alternative scenario on this post. This is a public forum, so if you’re unhappy with some segment of the public i.e. me then simply skip my posts. Berating me is simply an unproductive use of your time.
            Ps The first thing I said was sorry he was lame. I guess you missed it.

          • Thanks all, I’m viewing it a little differently now — although I’m still coming to the conclusion that he’s just not interested. He did specifically mention this weekend, as textdoc pointed out, so that’s where I made sure to leave some time. Unfortunately, I can’t really move stuff around Sunday since my plans are a group thing that I was invited to (as opposed to organizing). Then again — I suppose the guy could have had this same issue on Saturday. Oh well…

          • One date and a smooch; you didn’t invest a ton of time, but if you do like the guy, I’d broach meeting with a couple days and see what happens or wait to see if he does, but I like proactively since it’ll be very clear from there. You both sound busy, so like I said above, that could be an issue too huge to overcome, but you never know.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Sending you virtual hugs

    • good luck.
      Isn’t it great that it’s Thursday, though?

    • FridayGirl, sorry to hear about the flip-flopping date guy, the flaky would-be subtenants, and the lame supervisor. Hope you find some better dates and better subtenant prospects soon.
      Not sure what the best way to deal with the boss is. Good luck to you — a good/bad boss can make such a huge difference to your job satisfaction.

      • Thanks, textdoc. Normally my office is pretty great — my direct supervisor is just VERY extroverted (whereas I’m more of an introvert) and also doesn’t pick up on social cues very well (for example, he doesn’t think “Oh, they look like they’re eating/having a tough day/on the phone/etc. — let me come back in a little bit” — I’ve seen him do it with other people, too). Then again, he’s probably a LOT better than some other bosses!

    • I’m so sorry, FridayGirl. Hopefully you were able to get out and enjoy the sun and some frozen yogurt today.

  • Does anyone have recommendations for which app to use to store and listen to your podcasts? I’ve had it w/ the iphone’s built in app!

    • I’ve been using Overcast and LOVE it. It’s great if you already have a bunch of podcasts you know you like- not so great if you just want to browse podcasts. Stitcher is better for browsing. Overcast is free but a one-time fee of $4 give you advanced features like editing levels and speeding up silences.

      I promise I don’t work for Overcast.

    • I use Pocketcasts on the Android system which I found to be great. They have an iOS version that gets very solid reviews and has the same features.

  • Mootje1

    Rave: First time posting in RRRR because…
    Rave: Off to Amsterdam tonight to visit my fiance! (After 5 months…)
    Rant: NONE!

  • justinbc

    Note: PoPville May HH two weeks from today @ Bluejacket!

  • Rave: GO CAPS!!!
    Rant: Nervous. Being up 3-1 hasn’t treated us well in past years. This is a totally different team, but I’m still nervous.
    Rant: Darling daughter, tantrums about clothing choices and getting dressed are NOT the way to start the day.
    Rave: At least she was sweet during breakfast and gave me goodbye kisses.
    Rave: Felt SO GOOD outside on my way to work–wish I didn’t have to be inside for awhile!

    • Btw–Emilie & Quotia Zelda, you’ll be amused. Ever since I looked at the link for eldest Zelda’s prom dress, I have links for it showing up on my email page. A little bit of high school memories right there for the smiles 🙂

    • And another rave: thank you cocova for sending out an email with coupons for a chocolate tasting class! Now I’ve got mothers’ day covered for my wife 🙂

  • Rave: Headed to New Zealand for my first ever real, long vacation.
    Rant: We are way too hard on ourselves. Strong work ethic is great, but just book that vacation you always find reasons not to book!
    Rave: Got a PoPville shirt to take on my trip. Yay! Thanks!!

  • Rant: Just saw the post about Wagtime from yesterday. I have taken my dog there a few times a month for several years and never have had a bad experience, but their response to the recent incidents is concerning. I’m not sure what to do about an upcoming weekend away now. Any recommendations for dogsitters?

    • I highly recommend the Rover app. I can’t have a dog in my apt so I do some dogsitting via Rover occasionally to make up for the lack of having my own 🙂

    • Hi! I’m a pet-sitter! I’d be happy to chat off-site. Not sure how to get in touch though. Can Dan help us?

    • I highly recommend K-9 Divine! It’s boarding, not dogsitting, but they’ll pick up and drop off your pup if you live in DC.

  • Rant: I’m absolutely brokenhearted about the allegations against Wagtime. Although I can’t say with any certainty that I know what happened, I do know that I feel sick at the thought of leaving or dog there while there are so many open questions. We’re trying out an alternative today.
    Rave: Family is coming into town this weekend and I can’t wait to see them. Is it weird that I adore my mother-in-law?
    Rant: I keep thinking it’s Friday and it’s not Friday.

    • I know what you mean on Wagtime. As long as things are good, they are good. But the first time we had a concern about what had happened with our dog, the owners push it back on you and deny, deny, deny. That’s when we figured out they weren’t looking out for our best interests and got out.

      • “As long as things are good, they are good. But the first time we had a concern about what had happened with our dog, the owners push it back on you and deny, deny, deny.” This is my biggest concern.

      • We have a ongoing conundrum about Wagtime. Our dog has been going there for years and years and has never had a problem, but we’ve had and witnessed terrible interactions with the owners. It’s a tough spot b/c they do good on the rescue front, but I can’t understand how small business owners can maintain the reputation that they have for being so aggressively defensive when anything wrong happens with their business. It just seems though that their business never takes a hit, even with all the bad yelp reviews and posts on PoPville from yesterday. Maybe that’s why they never have to take accountability? B/c their business is going to succeed either way? I don’t know.

        • I think it’s reached a tipping point, at least for me. After seeing all previous bad reviews, I’ve been willing to ignore others’ experiences based on my own good experience. But after seeing yesterday’s post and a recent interaction with one of the owners, I think it’s time for me to find another option.

        • Their business will take a hit when people become educated about their problems, decide not to have themselves or their furry family members treated like crap, and move with their feet. There are other choices out there. I think a lot of people have a hard time leaving the status quo unless it is absolutely intolerable- it’s difficult to find another place, difficult to go farther maybe, difficult to acclimate your dog to another person or facility, etc. I get it. But you’re rolling the dice with these people. Life is about choices.

        • this is my problem. we’ve been taking Freya there 1-2x per week since we got her last August and she LOVES it, practically sprints to the door any time we are walking down 9th street. We also haven’t had issues with billing, staff, or any of the other things people have complained about. In fact – all of our interactions with the staff (not owners, can’t say either me or my partner has met them) has been super pleasant. also, admittedly, the location is very convenient for us. HOWEVER, I was really bothered by the fact that Lisa supposedly wrote Tucker’s owner and accused him of slander/libel/whatever rather than being apologetic and sympathetic even if it was an unavoidable accident. at this point we have decided to stick with wagtime at least until our package runs out, but we have definitely talked about alternatives and may end up switching because of all of these horror stories.

          • anonymouse_dianne

            Actually, I think there is some precedent for businesses suing for slander in Social Media, including Facebook and Yelp! and I immediately thought to comment to that effect yesterday.

            I have been involved in rescue since forever, working with WARL since 2008, and I have heard both good and bad about Wagtime, City dogs, Dogma, etc, etc. Most of the staff are paid and trained minimally and for most its not going to be a “career”. You get what you pay for. But Wagtime seems to go out of their way to help place hard to place pups and I commend them for it. I think running a cage-free day care is a tricky business, a lot more so than their average consumer thinks. BTW, the dog pictured reminded me of Parrot.

          • But anonymouse Dianne, you can’t sue for libel when what the guy is saying is true. Or you can, but then have to pay up for bringing a frivolous lawsuit. The OP seems to have documented quite a bit here. Not only that, but Wagtime has had a pattern of issues, which makes me a lot more leery of believing them on, well, anything. The last thing they want to do is bring lawyers into this because it may expose a lot more stuff than they want exposed. If I were Mr. Fuller and wanted to play that game in the courts, I’d tell Wagtime to “bring it.” But I don’t think they’ll pull the trigger, because they have a LOT to lose here. And yeah, running a cage-free daycare is tricky, I’m sure, but being ethical shouldn’t be.

          • to anonymouse_dianne – It very well might be legal and in some cases appropriate for a business to sue over slander or libel due to a post on social media. My point was just that I would hope that Lisa, as owner/career dog watcher, rather than immediately becoming defensive and threatening a lawsuit would try to be sympathetic and apologetic to the owner of an elderly dog that got bit in the head while in her care. you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you know? I do appreciate Wagtime’s efforts with rescues (Freya is a pitbull that came from the NY Ave. Humane Society and actually one of her little friends at daycare, Red, is a pitbull up for adoption), but I have concerns about how Wagtime management seems to handle these incidents. Anyway, like I said before, we are still going to use them, at least for the time being (in fact Freya is there right now) but that is definitely subject to change if the owners continue to react so poorly when bad things happen there.

  • Rant: I didn’t get the guts to have the conversation with the main squeeze I mentioned, probably because I hate having actual conversations that matter; why I’m still single, amirite?
    Rant: Did make him food, which apparently gave him acid reflux. Am I at an age where I have to worry about this? So now, not only did I not resolve my issue, I made him sick too.
    Rave: Apparently my office building has a sweet breakfast buffet. Got here early enough to enjoy it!

    • If he’s complaining about acid reflux, and blaming you for it, he’s not worth seeing anyway 😉

      (assuming he doesn’t have a more serious medical condition that’s tied to it)

      • He didn’t blame me, and said it’s totally fine and happens sometime and he’ll bounce back quickly, but it makes me sad. Also I’m not really a cook at all, so it makes me sad the the thing I tried to do resulted in him not feeling well.

        • Think of it as a future fond memory as opposed to a recent faux pas:
          Him: “Ha ha, remember that time you almost killed me with the meatloaf? You were so hot that night and all I could think about was getting to the CVS for the Prilosec.”
          You: “But you got back at me the next week, didn’t you, you big lug. When we were running for the subway and you slipped and almost pushed be in front of the Green Line! It was that adrenaline rush that made me want to kiss you”
          Both: “Thank God for GrubHub abd Uber! Happy anniversary, dear”

    • Anonynon

      *finger snaps for the breakfast buffet* those are the best!

  • Rave: Trying a different approach got positive results. I carped the hell out of that diem!
    Rave: 2 seminars this week!
    Rant: Humidifier and a breeze is soaking my bed. Ugh!

  • Rant: Woke up with a super sore throat and congestion this morning.
    Rave: At least I don’t have to be anywhere today, so I think I will just take it easy.
    Rave: New dining table will be delivered tomorrow morning. So excited! We’ll finally have space for more than two people to eat.

  • Rave: Made bagels! Thanks rabbitx3 for the recipe – it was easy enough for a non-baker to make 🙂
    Rave: Homemade bagels for breakfast

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: at the doctors and no drawers to rummage in
    Rave: they have tvs in the exam rooms #fawncy

    • wait is this a thing? to rummage in doctor drawers??

    • Quotia Zelda

      TVs with Dean Winchester on them. #superfawncy

    • Did you move plants or magazines??

    • A I the only one who though Emilie meant she wasn’t wearing underwear to the doctor? I mean, she’s southern, right? But then, would you really rummage through your own drawers?

      • Emmaleigh504

        hahahaha I never learned to say “drawers” that was too common aka not archaic enough. My family calls them “step ins” or “small clothes”. And I was in fact wearing clean small clothes at the doctor’s office. 🙂

      • You probably were the only one who thought that, but I love that you did! Rummage is already a funny word, and putting it with drawers in the underwear sense is linguistic comedy gold. I’m sure textdoc feels me on this.

        • Hahaha! Yeah, I can see how it could be read that way, esp. if you hadn’t read the earlier discussion (maybe this week or last week?) where AliceInDC admitted to rummaging through the desk drawers (I think?) while waiting for the doctor to come into the office. And/or maybe it was about moving a plant.
          Emilie, next time you want to come on to somebody, you could say suggestively, “I’d like to rummage through your drawers.”

  • Rave: Big changes are a’comin’! A few people know already, but mums the word for the next few days.
    Rant: The prospect of using only the Red Line to get to and from work.. currently, I can use a few different lines, but after today’s commute, not looking forward to a red-line-only route to work.
    Rave: Weather!

    • Haha, I’m glad I’m not the only one evaluating moves in terms of commuting times. And I can so sympathize with Rant #2. I love my potential new place, but the prospect of a Blue Line commute is definitely bumming me out a bit.

  • Was disturbed, but absolutely not surprised, by the Wagtime story from yesterday. They’ve got a record, and it’s hard to deny it if you’re willing to actually look. The owners sound like a piece of work. Just because you help with rescue does not mean you get a pass on running an unethical or dangerous business.
    Rave: thanks to the OP who had the courage and took the time to share his story. By using social media, he performed a public service by giving others more information on where they are taking their dogs.

    Rant: Feel bad for the pitbull who may not be adopted. All the blame is on Wagtime. Lucky Dog and others might want to reconsider using these people, or at the very minimum, set up some stringent guidelines for how Wagtime houses and supervises their dogs (and follow up for quality control). Right now, it doesn’t sound like Wagtime should be in the business of rescue.

  • Rave: EU open house this weekend. Going to bring my grandmother to the embassy of the homeland (where she was actually born). What a great opportunity to still connect with our heritage.
    Rave: Going to a P Nats game the same day. Minor league games are pretty awesome.
    Rant: Teething. My little one was up nearly once an hour last night because she is cutting teeth. I feel so bad for her (and a little bad for me too… no sleep!)

    • Oh yuck–teething sucks! Are you trying ibuprofen right at bedtime? That usually helps in our experience. The sleep loss sucks for everyone.
      Yay for minor league baseball! Have lots of fun!

      • We usually do the ibuprofen on nights that it is bad, but we try to use that as a last resort, and she usually doesn’t give us an indication of how bad her teeth hurt until 2am (thanks kid!). Orajel has actually been working pretty well the past few nights, but it just didn’t do the trick last night. I might just preemptively do the ibuprofen tonight to ensure we all get some sleep.

        • Yeah, we’ve been in a similar boat–she’s usually more distracted during the day & being upright reduces the pain relative to laying down. So if we’ve gotten woken up with teething pain one night, we do preemptive ibuprofen for the next couple of nights and then try a night without to see if it’s still necessary.

    • palisades

      Which embassies are you going to? I may just walk to Germany and France because they’re so close to my place, and I assumed they would be less inundated

      • I would think France would be pretty well-trafficked, but it is further away from a number of other embassies, so you might be right that it would be a good one to avoid too many people. We are going to hit Lithuania because that is where my family is from, and I would love to hit Great Britain this year, but I don’t know if we will have time/if I will be able to convince my husband to go to that one. I highly recommend coming up to Lithuania on 16th St if you are able – last time we were there, the very affable ambassador was photobombing tourists in hilarious ways.

        • palisades

          I just read the brochure. Looks like France and Germany are combined – at the German embassy. It’s brand new and huge, so I don’t think I’ll miss that one.
          I would love to check out the Baltic places. Looks like there are buses running just for the event too, which is nice.
          Also, regarding the PNats, have fun! I used to live about 5 minutes from there. It’s kind of a dump, but I have tons of great memories growing up there.

          • I hope you do check out the Baltics! Most people aren’t too familiar with them, and I may be biased, but they are pretty cool 🙂 We will be there on the early end.
            Thanks on the PNats game! It is our first one for this team, but we have been to Hagerstown for their games before, so I am anticipating some wacky antics that usually occur at minor league games. There are fireworks after the game too, so should be fun for the tiny human as well.

        • I used to live right down the street from Lithuania and Poland – they were definitely my favorites. Not nearly as crowded, since they’re kind of off by themselves – plus the food is DELICIOUS at both 🙂

          • You’re right, the food IS delicious 🙂 However, I am admittedly a little biased into thinking that my grandparents make it better. It is some of my favorite comfort food!

  • Rant: In the past three days I’ve had strange men tell me: 1) he wants me to lick his face 2) I’m fat 3) and this morning, that I look like I have a “tight Asian p*ssy.” I’m usually pretty good at ignoring these things but it’s just. too. much.
    Rave: Condo board approved my dog! Woot!

    • The freaks seem to be out in full force this week, don’t they? I sincerely hope you are taking none of this personally. And yay on the condo board decision!

      • Thanks, everyone! I’m trying not to take any of it personally but it’s getting difficult (especially the fat comment, ugh)!
        Shawess: unrelated and random, but even though I’ve met you and know what you sound like I always read your posts in Cheryl Strayed’s voice for some reason. You have a very Sugar-like attitude about things. 🙂

        • Funny! How do I hear what her voice sounds like? I imagine it sounding like Reese Witherspoon’s voice, but that seems so wrong in so many ways. (Side note: I tried to watch the movie adaption of Wild but just couldn’t. Reese Witherspoon somehow doesn’t seem to make a credible Cheryl Strayed.)

        • P.S. I think you just made me realize that my secret dream is to be an advice columnist.

          • That is a solid secret dream!
            I listen to the Dear Sugar podcast so that’s where I know Cheryl Strayed’s voice from. She definitely doesn’t sound like Reese Witherspoon and I haven’t seen Wild yet but I agree that she doesn’t seem like a good fit!

        • By the way, the point of me sharing @byefelipe yesterday was to point out that a-holes call women fat as a way of asserting their dominance, not because of the way they actually look. In several of the posts I saw there, men called women fat after calling them hot just a few texts earlier.
          Also, I have seen you and you have -nothing- to worry about.

          • Sigh, thank you. Rationally, I know it’s just a low blow that men use to assert dominance which makes me *hate* even more that I let this dude get to me!

          • It would get to me, too. Hell, I STILL think about a creepy, gross backhanded compliment a stranger made to me from a moving car in 1997. But my rational mind knows better and I hope yours does too.
            In case you’re wondering, my creepy dude said “Nice ass for a white lady!” And no, I didn’t take that as a compliment then or now.

          • Ugh. Why…WHY do people think it’s ok to say things like that?! And I’m sure there are people out there who think you *should* be flattered by that, which makes it all even worse. Blegh!

        • justinbc

          Sorry, but I will forever remember her as mid-40s sassy black lady.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Ugh so sorry

    • <3 Blame it on the waning moon? I get more and more crazy interactions as we near new moon, and I know it is completely old wives tales-y. Honestly though, at the vet clinic I always saw an increase of abuse cases at or around the new moon than the rest of the month. I didn't believe it until I started tracking it.

    • skj84

      Holy Hell. Maybe the pollen brings the crazies out or something. That is beyond gross.

    • Rant: BARF! EW! People suck sometimes.

    • So sorry to hear. Disgusting creeps.

    • Quotia Zelda

      Holy crap, that’s disgusting.

      • If it makes you feel better, on Monday I woke up to an extremely vulgar note on my car from some guys who were watching me unload some boxes out of my car on Saturday and hollering, I’m assuming. It was gross

    • Ew, I am SO sorry.

    • Ugh, that’s terrible. So sorry to hear you’re getting all of this harassment.

    • That One Guy

      So ladies, what is the proper way of approaching some one in a non-creepy way to pay a complement? And is there such a thing as a non-creepy complement from a stranger?

      • Compliments are great and there are absolutely ways to pay non-creepy compliments. I think a main trick to not being creepy is to not have expectations that the compliment will result in anything at all — not a conversation, not time alone together, nothing. They don’t owe you anything in return for your compliment and I think it’s important that you be prepared to get nothing in return.
        Some of the nicest compliments I’ve gotten from strangers are ones they make before walking away, so I’m not pressured to respond for follow up. When I’ve -wanted- to respond, I’ve chased the person down to do so.

        • +5000. Shawess is spot on. Complimenting itself is not the issue. The issue is what is offered is rarely a compliment so much as a transparent ploy to hit on the woman. (If it were just about complimenting people with no expectation beyond that, then why not compliment other guys?) As long as you are not pushing that agenda and you are clear about the nonverbal cues telling you the answer is no, I think you’ll be fine. As far as non-creepy compliments go-I would say no comments about her body, race or anything sexual. That should be common sense, but apparently is not.

          • “I would say no comments about her body, race or anything sexual.” Exactly. And all three together are a particularly toxic combination, as evidenced in my story above.

          • Couldn’t agree more, Shawess and blahblahblah. I’ll add that if it usually turns from a compliment to harassement if it involves leering, moving in on my personal space, or yelling from down the street or a moving vehicle (with or without accompanying honking)..

          • *harassment

      • justinbc

        Tone matters a lot. It’s usually pretty clear from your inflection when someone is being genuine and someone has ulterior motives.

        • I totally agree. I would also add one thing (to my own comments above, placed here purely for my own convenience). If you -are- complimenting a women to hit on her, I’d recommend complimenting something other than her looks or anything sexual. For example, the way she managed a tough situation or the intelligence of something she said. If you can’t find something like this to say, either because you haven’t spent enough time with her to be able to compliment something like this or because you really only care about her looks, then it’s likely that you will come off as creepy.

          • Can’t completely agree with this. With this reasoning, you could never get date outside of the internet. Of course if I just meet you at a bar or social event, i don’t have enough info to compliment your intellegence/actions.

            We might as well move everything to dating sites.

          • I may be drawing -fairly- narrow boundaries here, but will say that these are the compliments that make me actual feel good, rather than objectified. The comments are based on actually spending time getting to know me, even if only for a few minutes, rather than superficial first impressions, and I really value that. And in case it matters, I have literally been on one internet date in my entire life, so these comments are based almost entirely on non-internet experiences.

          • Emmaleigh504

            You can strike up a conversation with women without complimenting them. I’m more inclined to talk to people who start chatting about the weather, whatever sports is happening, the state of the avocados at Yes, or really anything but a lame compliment.

          • +1 to “You can strike up a conversation with women without complimenting them.” It’s surprising how many guys never think to just say something like, “Hi, I’m _____. What’s your name?”

          • justinbc

            LOL textdoc, that’s the only line I know!

          • What Emilie and Textdoc said. With the same caveats as above that you shouldn’t have any expectation that there will be reciprocation. If a lady isn’t interested, don’t press the matter because that would be creepy.

  • Mug of Glop

    Rave: Got asked to do another adventure relay thing. I guess the last one was pretty fun.
    Rant: Another sleepless weekend and 200 miles of running/driving ahead of me.
    Rant: That last rant is actually a rave. That’s my life now. I guess this is just a thing I do now.
    Rave: Friend offered to change my oil for me. Don’t need to worry about some shop completely hacking up the job and seizing my whole engine or whatever!
    Rave: Weekend packed full stuff. I need to find some time somewhere to clean up my disgusting apartment.

    • palisades

      I don’t know what kind of car shops you’ve gone to, but changing oil and engines seizing are two VERY unrelated occurrences. I’ve had places leave the cap untightened, but that’s about the worse damage they can do.

      • Mug of Glop

        Well, if they completely botch the job and drain the oil without putting new in, then it’d probably seize. But improbable results are the basis for my irrational fears.

  • Huge rave: Our parenting journey may be taking a new turn. I had a wonderful call last night with a representative from an adoption agency and it’s making my husband and me (cautiously) excited about the prospect of adoption. We’ve talked about adoption for a long time, but I’ve found the process to be pretty daunting because there are so many options and it’s hard to know where to begin. This agency came highly recommended and I can see why. I think we’re going to move forward with them with the idea that if we end up with two kids in the next few years, one bio and one adopted, that would be a wonderful outcome. If we end up with one child, either bio or adopted, that’s also a wonderful outcome.

    • Can you share the name of the agency?

      • Happy to share by email – infertilitylady at gmail dot com

      • As a more general recommendation, I would say that the Facebook group “Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption and Infertility” is an outstanding resource. I highly recommend it as a way of coping with infertility and finding out the latest information about fertility treatments and adoption.

    • Very rave-worthy!

    • This sounds very encouraging! My mom was adopted. I’ve always been a lot closer to my maternal grandparents, even though I (of course!) love my biological paternal grandparents. Being with my mom’s family has shown me that adoption can be a beautiful thing- people that are not related by blood can share a love that surpasses even that felt in blood-related families. So thankful that my mom ended up with my grandparents.

    • That’s fantastic news! So glad to hear it! 🙂

    • houseintherear

      Kudos to you and your husband for considering adoption! You won’t regret it for a single second (according to my parents 🙂 ).

      • I keep hearing adopted parents say that they end up with their own perfect children and I really believe that!

        • houseintherear

          My mom and dad had two late-term pregnancy loses (many decades ago), and ended up adopting me and my brother. My mom never misses an opportunity to say, “You two are those two babies, without a doubt.” Magical thinking, but it certainly feels true.

    • Congratulations and good luck!!

    • Oh WOW! That is wonderful!!!

  • Rave: That picture. That’s me! (maybe)

  • Rave: Bathing suit from last summer too big!
    Rant: Have to go bathing suit shopping…

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: it’s the relapse and you know what that does…
    Rant: compartmentizing other rants
    Rave: modern medicine

  • Revel: This weather is amazing! So happy!
    Revel: Work friends- grateful for colleagues i can laugh with!
    Rant: the summer camp I work every year is not running due to financial woes! how much do you think an experienced public school teacher with first aid/cpr certification can ask for babysitting per hour in mount pleasant? I gotta do something with my time and would like to make a little summer $ 🙂

  • Rave: That photo of the octuple!

  • Rant: Day-mares. Dreamed my dog was very interested in something he smelled in the back of the basement. I went to investigate and thought I saw a rat running across the room and jumping into the (dry) toilet. I put down the toilet lid and flushed (and flushed and flushed). Thankfully it was only a dream (I’m telling myself)

    • Not a dream sadly……………..not ever using that toilet again

      • Emmaleigh504

        I can never live in a basement apartment b/c I listened to TAL and a guy talked about a rat and a toilet experiecence in his basement apartment. The rat came OUT of the toilette! More horrors (he had to TOUCH it). It was a terrifying yet entertaining story. good luck with your rat. I would move and burn the place down.

  • Big rant: bought a ticket to Israel in February after discussing many dates with my friend, when would be a good time for her for visitors and whatnot. Today I get a message from her saying hey best friend from childhood is getting married in America the day I’m supposed to be there and she would never forgive my friend if she didn’t go to her wedding and can I change the dates of my trip (no, it’s a refundable ticket) or I can stay at her place with her boyfriend. Someone please tell me I’m not being unreasonable when I’m pissed about this considering 1. We discussed this together months in advance to pick a good date 2. She’s moving back to America in August. 3. If they were so close, wouldn’t she have known about the wedding before just now? It’s in mid-July
    Rave: nobody’s been too up my butt at work lately

    • You’re not being unreasonable. I would have smoke coming out of my ears. I wish I had some advice to offer, except that I’m pretty sure I would just be speechless if that happened to me….

    • palisades

      Ask if she’s willing to pay for a change in flight times. If not, there’s pretty much nothing you can do – and you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place.
      If you go through with this trip and she’s “forced” to stay in Israel, you’ll feel guilty for making her stay and she’ll resent you. Honestly, I’d go to Israel and say have fun at the wedding, and she’ll look back and realize how much of a dick move she made.

    • You’re not being unreasonable. Especially regarding #3 — did she say that the friend scheduled this wedding at the last minute?? If so, then the friend has no business acting like she “can’t forgive” people who can’t attend on two months’ notice.
      As Palisades points out, there’s not a whole lot you can do — if your friend is determined to renege on your plans with her in order to attend her friend’s wedding, you can’t stop her. But you might try reiterating that 1) you bought your ticket for those dates after lengthy discussion with her, 2) you’re really disappointed that she’s willing to break the plans she made with you, 3) the main reason you were going to Israel was to see her (if that’s true), and 4) given that she agreed to those dates, you think it would be fair for her to cover the change fee for you to shift your flight to dates that work with her wedding plan.
      You might also wish to reconsider whether she’s as good of a friend as you thought, painful as this may be.

      • Yeah, I’ve already decided I’m not going to try and force her to stay. All I’ve said so far is that “I’ve got refundable tickets so I’m going anyway. I’ll let you know if I need to stay at your place”. I probably should have expressed my disappointment etc but I am for sure reconsidering. I definitely will not be bringing a suitcase back to America for her.

    • Just go. Declare “adventure!” And have a great time.

    • Go and have a wonderful time! Plan something special for the time you would have been staying with your friend

  • skj84

    Anyone planning on watching the Arsenal or Democracy Fly Over tomorrow? I’m trying to figure out the best spot to watch.

    • Yes. There are a number of great viewpoints:
      north and west sides of the Jefferson Memorial, right by the Washington Monument, facing west and southwest, the Netherlands Carillon… the flight path heads south along the river beginning around Georgetown. It then hangs a left on the south side of the Washington Monument and makes a right around 7th Street SW to head off to wherever.

    • Watching! My company is going up on the roof for some fun aviation activities. 🙂 I think the Mall is a fine place though!

    • Exposed DC is having a meetup at the Jefferson Memorial, with an expert there talk about the planes. You don’t have to be a photographer to come!

    • I Dont Get It

      There hasn’t been a lot of publicity about it. No one at my office had heard of it.

      I’ll be there though.

    • For anyone else who was curious: It starts Friday (tomorrow) at 12:10 p.m. The Washington Post has an infographic showing the route.

  • Rave: No cavities!
    Rant: Continued discussion of the lovely acid reflux damage to my back molars. At least I figured out my stomach and allergy issues so no more acid reflux to cause damage.
    Rave: The @MyKidCantEatThis Instagram account. Too funny!
    Rave: Looking forward to the official and unofficial PoP HH! Tiny Dog can probably make an appearance at Acre 121.

    • Can’t eat a banana because it is broken – oh my @MyKidCantEatThis

      • That is one of my favorites. I also like the smiley potato that the kid can’t eat “because it’s too cute. I actually had to freeze it so it could stay like this forever and he could visit it.”

  • Rant: My gf broke it off with me a week ago and I still feel awful. I wish I could have a relationship without sabotaging it somehow. If only I knew how to “open up.” Whatever that means.
    Rave: All restaurants now %50 off…
    Rant: I’m so lonely. I wish I had someone to talk to.

    • Have you considered therapy? Not opening up to me means you never share your feelings or talk about personal stuff. While it’s never good to overshare, people expect to learn about the real you in a relationship. People want to learn your hopes, fears, etc.

    • Sorry, buddy. Breaking up sucks. But, +1 to the restaurants thing. Took me a while, actually thought it was a DC-wide promotion celebrating the Caps win. So, well-played.

    • Post-breakup blues are the worst. If it makes you feel better, you’re certainly not alone in the self-sabotaging world.
      Also, I’m pretty sure twitter is a great way to talk to / at people who don’t know you, but it’s not great for community. How long have you been here? Have you established your community here yet?

      • Emmaleigh504

        or yikyak. though yikyak is kind of terrible. never mind. Twitter is the way to go. People are nicer there.

  • palisades

    Rave: (In Cameron voice from Ferris Bueller) – Bryce Harper is my herooooooo.
    Rave: DC sports is making me cautiously optimistic. It’s an odd feeling.

  • Rant: headliner for last night’s show was only okay. the opener was so much better, but then I am a big fan of the opener.
    Rave: meetup group. nice people. glad I found them.
    Rant: saw last person I dated again and avoided like the plague. made sure he didn’t see me because of what happened last time. never again.
    Rave: dates. a bunch of em. giving people a chance because why not?

    • Because why not…that’s what I’d say.
      Options are a great thing!

    • Options are good. I like options. Sometimes the options look eerily similar but then I have a type and I embrace it literally and figuratively.

      • Yea, some people are really specific. Saw an ex dating my doppelganger. Creepy!
        My type is pretty broad I’ve come to find out.

        • Oh mans, I have such a type. I think it’s just stuck around since my long-term ex, and I can’t seem to break it. It’s really bad when you look at them in the setting sun and think, “Gee, you look just like that guy I lived with for 5 years…”

  • Need some makeup advice: I use Stila’s bb cream, but need something for summer than has sunscreen. (Why a “10-in-1” product doesn’t have sunscreen is a mystery.)
    Something with some coverage, lightweight. Something that stays put, not greasy, etc.
    What do you like for summer?

    • My new favorite product is Hourglass Hyaluronic Skin Tint, which has SPF 15 and has good, lightweight coverage. I’ve been using it for the last three weeks or so and look forward to putting it on, if that’s any indication.
      Also, it looks like Stila also makes that 10-in-1 bb cream with a 30 SPF. Or so Sephora.com tells me.

    • topscallop

      I mix Supergoop CC cream (SPF 35) with my face moisturizer that also has SPF, I think it’s Neutrogena to get a kind of tinted lotion thing happening. If I didn’t have so much of it left (plus some from Clinique I bought in duty free in a moment of weakness and redness), I would try the BareMinerals complexion rescue I’ve heard such good things about.

    • Kiehls has a nice line of spf moisturizers. If you can get down to annandale, they have a “face shop” store (korean cosmetic line) that does some nice spf bb/cc/moisturizers, asians take the sunscreen stuff seriously and I’ve had nice experiences

    • Emmaleigh504

      I like the plain old Oil of Olay face lotion with SPF 15. I recently got one of their more expensive face lotions with maybe I higher SPF (I forget), but I like the original. It light, moisterizes well, and doesn’t smell like sunscreen. I were it under the Olay bb cream b/c I like moisterized skin. both very light.

      • laduvet

        I just started using Cargo_HD picture perfect CC cream, spf 20. I use this as my base, concealer under eyes, and some powder to finish it off. Spent all sunday in the sun and my face showed now signs of redness!

    • I had to look up “bb cream” last time this topic came up on PoPville, but since that was a while ago, I’d forgotten and had to look it up again. For anyone else who was wondering, here’s what Wikipedia says:
      “BB cream stands for blemish balm, blemish base, beblesh balm, and in Western markets, beauty balm. It is a cosmetic item sold mainly in Asian markets, although the majority of larger beauty brands have introduced BB creams to Western markets.
      “BB cream is promoted as an all-in-one facial cosmetic product to replace serum, moisturizer, primer, foundation and sunblock. It can be worn alone as a tinted moisturizer, over serum and moisturizer as a regular foundation, and under powder, depending on the desired amount of coverage.”

      • When did “serum” and “primer” become popular? I think I’ve seen a few mentions of “serum,” but I’ve never heard of “primer” except in the context of paint.

        • I don’t know about serum, but primer works on faces like it works on walls. My skin doesn’t hold makeup well. IF i can get it onto my face, it tends to migrate and clump. Primer keeps it on and in the right places (instead of having eyelid creases full of shadow). As for when, dunno. I learned about it in the last 2-3 years. I expect it was one of those things that was known and used in the world of stage makeup forever that more recently made it to the mainstream market. But that’s a wild guess.

          • I also can’t say when either of these things became popular, but can say that I really like both serum and primer, especially now that my skin is showing signs of aging. I have a couple of serums that make my skin less dry and crabby and I use primer for the same reasons as wdc. Speaking of primer, I’m crazy about the one from Hourglass. It’s the reason I became a fan of Hourglass to begin with. (Thank you, free sample.)

          • Thanks for the info, wdc and Shawess. (And please nobody revoke my girl card for not knowing. 😉 )

          • Oh, believe me, I’m not judging, Textdoc. If anything, I’m embarrassed by how much I know about all of this and the fact that I have such strong opinions on it.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Serum has been around for ages. My grandmother even used it! There’s an Estee Lauder serum that she had that I loved to use, but I don’t remember the name, so I don’t use it anymore. 🙁 I should find another one to use.

          • On a similar subject, I am still a bit haunted by this more than a year after its publication. http://www.nytimes.com/2014/01/09/fashion/the-martha-stewart-beauty-regimen-fitness-skin-care-and-diet.html

          • Emmaleigh504

            Was she just naming all the beauty products b/c they sponsor her? I can barely remember the names of the few things I use.

          • Yeah, that’s crazy. The beauty industry (and women’s magazines — at least the ones that take advertising) do their best to convince you that you need a zillion different products. And expensive ones, if at all possible.

          • Emmaleigh504

            The expensive ones smell better. I like my Dior lipstick that smell like roses, and the Guerlain that smells like cotton candy 🙂 Someone, I don’t remember, has mascara that smells like flowers.

          • Emilie, I was wondering the same thing re: her sponsors. I agree w/Emilie that the expensive ones really are nicer than the cheaper ones — the differences are pretty noticeable. I tell myself I’d rather have a few products, but make them nice ones. But I ended up getting a decent volume of products through free samples, so I end up trying a lot of things out and rotating the products I use. I’ve noticed that all of the nicer companies give really, really generous samples as a way of hooking you on their products. And I’m sad to say that it often works.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I used to work at the fragrance counter of a department store (best job ever!) and got lots of free samples and extra testers. And a taste for the good stuff. I’ve managed to figure out what does and does not need to be expensive. Pretty much just eyeshadow, some eye liners, and lipsticks for me. But of course, I love pretty things and pretty colors so I have more makeup than I can shake a stick at. And really, the smell hooks me every time. Make something smell good and I will give you all my money.

    • I would recommend wearing facial moisturizer with SPF underneath your ordinary non-spf bb cream if you can’t find bb cream you like that has spf.

    • SouthwestDC

      Hmm, I might need to try this Stila’s bb cream. I want to get as much sun as possible, so I’ve been trying to find something that doesn’t have any SPF in it. I’m currently using BareMinerals Complexion Rescue which is SPF 30, and would recommend it if you want sunscreen.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant: Some asshole kid glued a coin onto the hood my daughter’s car with nail glue.
    Rave: Mr. Zelda is relentless in this type of situation. He will make sure that the kid and his parents pay to fix it.

  • Rave: Hubby is back after a nearly year long deployment 🙂
    Rants: ? None for quite a while!!!!!

  • 2 days until I leave for Europe for 2 weeks. Haven’t even packed. Proposal is going down on Tuesday, can’t wait!

  • Very interesting NPR spot this morning re DCRA, specifically wrt homes in Petworth and Columbia Heights.

    A lot of what’s talked about here was mentioned (DCRA is a tiny outfit, lax home inspections standards, etc.

    May be worth posting on here PoP.

  • Rave: taking off most of tomorrow to photography the WWII flyover/VE Day Sky Parade
    ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░
    Rave: having dinner with three of my favorite people at one of my favorite places (Radius) tonight!
    ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░
    Rave: tree ID class this weekend in Petworth!
    ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░ ░▒▓▒░
    Rave: sold my first photograph!

  • Rave: Finally signed a lease last night with new basement tenant! Very relieved — I kept worrying that she was going to change her mind at the last minute.

  • Rave: Having a great day at work, and was complimented twice on my writing for a presentation I’m helping put together – no one’s ever done that before at work (granted, I usually never get assigned tasks in which I can be creative) so I was very happy.

    Rave: Today is my Friday, and I am going to a “chocolate crawl” tonight because yay, free chocolate!

    Rant: Doctor appointment tomorrow. I actually love this doctor, but I don’t love the giant bruise I’ll inevitably get from giving them my blood.

    Rave/Rant: Good friends are getting married this Sunday (gives me hope!) Most of my friends are flying to the ceremony, and I wasn’t able to make it work out financially to attend. Sad that I’m missing a fun occasion.

  • Rant: Asshole yelled at me on the metro this morning even though I did everything right.
    Rave: THIS WEATHER!!!

  • rave: this week is almost over.
    Rant: I slept like crap last night – so much tossing and turning.
    Rant: Bad things happening to good people I love.

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