Everything’s Not So Hunky Dory West of the Park Either

From the Cleveland Park Listserv:

“The long time flower thief is back, spotted at a home in Chevy Chase the other day where he was stealing peonies from a private garden. BEWARE! At this time of year, his flower of choice is peonies, then lilies, and later on hydrangeas. He has been known to sell his stolen bounty to local flower shops, and possibly restaurants.”


“It has been quite a while since our N.Y. Times has been missing from in from of our house. Apparently, however, the Paper Thief along with the Flower Thief has returned.

Is it too much to expect the Paper Thief to comprehend that our NY Times is not public property, free for the stooping and picking up? How could you stoop so low as to steal a neighbor’s paper?”

18 Comment

  • west_egg

    There’s been a noticeable uptick in thistle-related thievery since February. Cleveland Park is in the midst of a full-blown crocus crisis but what do we have from the Mayor’s office?!? SILENCE!!! She’s in well over her hydrangea…I mean head.

  • It gives me no pleasure to write this but ignoring it as so many do is not helpful either. On Friday night stray bullets hit a row house window in Petworth and the lobby of an apartment building in NoMa. In Petworth it occurred Friday night just after 10pm in the alley between 3rd and 4th St, NW and Upshur and Taylor. It was a miracle that nobody was injured.

    Bullet hole in back bedroom window

    In NoMa a reader reports:

    “Friday night at 11:15 a stray bullet hit the lobby window of 2M St in Noma. The bullet did not puncture through the window and no one was hurt.”

    Also a miracle.

    • That sucks and I’d be freaking out but what exactly does this have to do with Cleveland Park?

  • As a CP resident, I want to share that listserv activity is typically monopolized by a number of quarrelsome, crotchety curmudgeons with whack-ass demands and no sense of reality. Case in point:

    “The OTHER early morning disturbances, on a DAILY basis, include:
    1. kids yelling in the streets before 8:30 am; “inside” voices should still be used outside before 9am on weekends. Some parents seem to think because they’re up and awake—no one else should be able to “sleep in”. Teach your kids to be considerate of others! You are walking past someone’s bedroom window! This happened this morning. Again.
    2. Dogs left in yards to bark incessantly before 8:30 am, waking up the rest of the neighborhood. This is a daily occurrence in our neighborhood and everyone says “It wasn’t my dog!” Do not let your dog out in the yard, and go take a shower or be somewhere where you can’t hear your own yapping animal. It wakes people up. This happened this morning. Again.
    3. People talking loudly on their cell phones or with each other on their morning walks—they’re up and moving, so who cares whose bedroom their walking by and being so loud?! My sleeping family cares. This happened this morning. Again.
    My teenagers’ bedrooms are on the front of our house. They often feel the need to sleep with the windows CLOSED, despite the lovely weather, because people walking by are loud and inconsiderate, early in the morning.
    We live in the city, in close proximity to our neighbors. Lower your noise levels early in the morning. PLEASE.”

    Your teenagers have to sleep with the windows CLOSED?!#$ NOOOOOOOOooo.

    • Really. Like, I just really can’t even right now.

      But the stealing thing is aggrivating, truly. Glover Park also suffered a rash of package thefts starting last fall and continuing throughout the winter. It seems like there haven’t been many issues recently, though. (Maybe the same guy switched from packages to plants?!)

    • But it’s lovely weather! It’s totally rational to expect the city will stay quiet when I want so I can sleep in with my windows open.

    • It is much quieter on Foxhall, for just $3-4 mil more.

  • northeazy

    The person who is stealing your New York Slimes is doing you a favor–unless you use it to wrap seafood or something.

  • I weep for them, I really do. Folks in Cleveland Park seem to have it so hard.

  • Every spring there is a huge chain of people complaining about leaf blowers and demanding they are banned.

    I kid you not, some idiot compared leaf blower use to terrorism.

    • I gotta say, leaf blowers do sort of equal terrorism. Also barking dogs. Seriously people – the dog barks once to tell you he wants to come in. Let him in. My awful neighbor lets their dog just stay out there and bark and bark. Not so much since I hooked up an ultrasonic bark stopper in my own yard to deter it, but I love dogs and feel bad for this poor German Shepard. (Who never even goes for a walk, just trapped in a prison yard where he can’t even see out.) But not bad enough to be awakened 3-4 times a night.

  • I live near Dupont Circle and had my Ny times Sunday paper stolen three weeks in a row. A neighbor was walking out of the building and saw the person stealing it one week. He ran when confronted. I have since cancelled my subscription.

    Unfortunately my neighbor reported that this same person sets up at the Dupont Farmers market and sells these stolen papers.

    • Unfortunately this has been going on for YEARS. I lived just north of Dupont Circle for eight years and I can’t count the number of times my NYT was stolen from in front of my building. And every weekend there’s some guy selling a stack of stolen NYTs near Dupont Circle and no one ever does anything about it.

  • I used to live near Cleveland Park and Chevy Chase so I’m still on the listservs.

    These people are absolutely ridiculous.

    I just wanted to know which mechanic wasn’t going to screw me over.

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