Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user Erin

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

287 Comment

  • rave: i met the superintendent! and the first thing she said was that one of my students was just bragging about me! today is a good day! i woke up at 4 something totally freaking out about what to wear and getting generally super anxious and all worked up- and it went so well!!!!!!!

    • Nice! This is Kang? I really like her – she’s very sweet and despite being/looking relatively young has a ton of policy experience and is pretty savvy.

  • Rant: Today is the last day to re-apply for energy assistance for the winter months.

  • Rave: Ate many doughnuts at GBD happy hour last night.
    Rant: Ate too many doughnuts at GBD happy hour last night.

  • Rave: That picture. WANT.
    Rant: People who don’t move in to the metro. This is a regular rant of mine. You’re at a stop, it’s busy, MOVE AWAY FROM THE F’ING DOOR! It’s just so ignorant.
    Rave: Still looking forward to nice weather over the weekend to head to South Mountain Creamery’s spring festival – ICE CREAM!

    • Rant #1 +100000000000000000000000000000000000000000 the worst are those who stand in front of the doors at the Gallery Place stop during rush hour and wait for it: aren’t getting off at gallery place!!! Le sigh.

    • Re your Rank: Elbows. Sharp elbows. Inadvertent, of course.
      Re your second rave: We went to the SMC festival last year, and it was a ton of fun. Unfortunately, can’t go tomorrow. Boo.
      Just Remembered Rant: Moving to an apartment temporarily during construction, so will be unable to continue SMC deliveries during that time. Double Boo!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Yesterday I watched a guy glare at everyone that entered or exited the train b/c they got in his space as he stood blocking the door. The train wasn’t even crowded! Plenty of empty seats but he still had to stand in the doorway. wtf

    • I think I might win metro rants today: I got up to give an older lady my seat, and as she was inching towards it (the train had started moving, and she was unsteady), a young woman slipped past and plopped down. Sat there hunched up looking at her phone while everyone else just gaped. The people in the reserved seats didn’t budge.

      • THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME TOO! Now I never get up until I actually make contact with the older person so that no one else can swoop in and grab it. SO RUDE.

      • WTF? The lady should have sat on her. Also, phones are the new crutch. I can’t see you, I’m on my phone. Yes, you CLEARLY see the old person with a cane, they see you, but you’re a dick and can’t stand for 5 minutes? ugh.

        • Yeah, the young person who took the seat the unsteady lady was heading for was bad. Very bad. But she had an i’ll-cut-you look to her, so no one said anything. But especially priceless were the folks in the reserved seats acting all shocked and disapproving… without getting up themselves.

        • Seriously???? Why are you even asking this? Stupid people behaving badly should be called out always. They will NOT KILL you!

      • Honest question – in this situation is it ever worth pointing out to the phone-watcher that in fact the old lady needs a place to sit? Or is this just inviting trouble/denouncement from an already anti-social person?

        • I think, generally, it’s a good idea to not engage potentially angry young people (could be wrong with who this was but….). It’s like a group of kids listening to really loud music on the train – no one tells them to shut it off. On paper, they’re just kids…but crime stats in this city = young people are sort of out of control. So to me, I just ignore them and think that, generally, they’ll get nowhere in life because they’re ignorant to anyone’s needs but their own immediate ones. But I’m an old fart.

          • I think it depends on who you are and how you approach it. I mean, I could honestly see young adults being more rude to an older person who might finger-wag rather than a really young looking female like myself being like, “hey, i really stood up for the old lady with the cane, so if you’d be cool and let her sit…”

        • Emmaleigh504

          I wouldn’t b/c there are invisible conditions that might cause the young person to need to sit. Probably not the case here, but I’d rather not force anyone to explain why they deserve a seat.

      • That One Guy

        No one said anything?

      • I had to leave early from work to pick up my daughters from day-care, I was in a suit and had my head down reading work emails on the red line when i heard a THUD! Some kid threw a cup of pudding at me from the platform while the door was open. I wasn’t sure what it was at first then i saw the pudding running down the widow next to me. I got up to see who threw it as the doors were closing and a group of little thugs, as the Mayor of Baltimore calls them, were laughing and flipping me the bird. The attack was totally unprovoked, but i can’t help but think that recent events in Baltimore made this kid think his actions were justified. Everybody around me pretended like nothing happened. Sometimes I hate this city

        • I’ve seen white kids do crap like this, too, though, honestly. So let’s not equate kids poor behavior on the metro (and pudding attacks, however awful) with police brutality and systemic racism. (Also, what were people supposed to do? Get off the train and yell at them? Littleeee bit different than offering a seat to an old person and having someone else sit down…)

          • I’m not equating poor behavior with police brutally or alleged police brutality, b/c in the Gray case, it is alleged until we see a report saying otherwise, or systemic racism. I’m just trying to figure out why I seem to be a target for unprovoked assaults. Maybe you explain thug behavior to me?

            This is the third unprovoked attack that I have experienced in just over a year, including attempted robbery, unprovoked assault by 4 teenagers, and assault after i intervened in a robbery.

            I didn’t expect others on the train to do anything, but also didn’t expect them to pretend like they didn’t see anything either.

          • I’m not looking to get into an argument, but your initial comment certainly didn’t contain any of the context that your response did. I’m also curious why you seem to be the target of these attacks. However, I highly doubt the kids on the metro were attacking YOU specifically.

          • “Attacking me specifically”? They did attack me! So, it’s okay for them to attack me personally if they think I represent something or somebody else?

          • Emmaleigh504

            That’s not what she meant. They were looking for someone to harass and you were in the right place at the right time. You don’t have a target on your forehead.

        • It was just pudding right?

          • It’s still assault as defined by the law. Because it’s “just pudding” it’s okay to randomly throw it at someone minding their own business? Why do people defend these little punks?

  • Rave: The Chrome browser extension Earth View from Google Maps. Once you install it, you get a gorgeous image from Google Maps every time you open a new browser window. Julia Turner from Slate recommended it this week on the culture gabfest and it’s absolutely hypnotizing.
    Rave: The HBO Silicon Valley. It hadn’t interested me much until recently, but wow, is it funny. It’s my new Portlandia.
    Rave: Pup has been acting more normally. I’m taking him to the vet anyway, just to be safe, but think his odd behavior is probably just doggy puberty. (Sigh. I miss his puppy fur already.)

  • Rant: shots fired on my block in columbia heights last night. looks my neighbors went on popville and posted about the suspicious rowhouse on our block.
    Rant: pup is being stubborn on walks. keeps stopping and sitting. i change our route to make it interesting too. she just doesn’t listen. dog training with her starts this weekend crossing fingers it works.
    Rant/Rave: dating. ready. bring it.

    • +1 on your final rant/rave. Sounds like an excellent attitude 🙂

      • Only a rant because I have to put in time and effort, which I lack more of these days. Fun times and interesting stories are worth it, so a rave too.

  • Rave: I slept so hard last night. I think my anxiety and insomnia may finally be under control.
    Rave: This weather. T.S. Eliot, you are wrong about this April at least.

    • No mixed memories and desires, no dull roots stirred with spring rain? Your eyes do not fail, leaving you neither living nor dead, knowing nothing looking into the heart of light, the silence over the desolate and empty sea?
      Admittedly, with the Funk Parade coming and the dogwoods blooming in the park along with the lilacs in the swamp, it is a little more cheerful out than Eliot imagined. This year we did not — as I recall — get our mandatory week of grim foggy rain that conjures images of drowned sailors, Belladonna, hanged men and death five fathoms deep.
      But we still have one more day for some hack columnist to to quote Eliot, possibly in conjunction with Hillary (“with what should have been a triumphant launch to a coronation juggernaut overshadowed by continuing questions about her e-mails and new allegations of influence-peddling through her husband’s foundation, April was the cruelest month for Hillary Clinton”). I may be sensitive, but this always puts in a funk.

  • Mug of Glop

    Rave: Made some pretty great shrimp and scallop carbonara last night. And I have leftovers for lunch today!
    Rave: Heading out to Gettysburg tonight to start the 200 mile American Odyssey Relay back to DC over the next two days. Should be an okay time!
    Rant: Spending two days in what I expect will be a very smelly van.
    Rave: We’ll have snacks!

  • Rant: Sick as dog! What on earth is happening to my head/body. Glad I’m at work with 100 degree fever and wildly unproductive. But I took yesterday off and got an email from my boss telling me about the work I should be doing. I wish I could just take a sick day and have it be that way.
    Rave: Finally caught up on Game of Thrones (the show). I find myself severely interested in the fate of Theon Greyjoy.

  • justinbc

    Rave: A few days in and really liking the Galaxy S6. Especially liking the size after having the Note 3 prior to this. Also really loving the T-Mobile service. It’s significantly faster for me than Verizon was, a lot cheaper, and the unlimited data is a huge bonus, so big thanks to those here who recommended them for the music streaming. (also went ahead and upgraded to Spotify premium, so I can now listen at work)

    • As long as you stay in the area, TMobile is fine. But good luck anywhere outside of a major metro area.

      • justinbc

        Based on my experience with Verizon I can’t say that would be much of a change.

        • I’ve had Verizon all my life and I’ve never lost coverage. Even at my parents lake house in Michigan, driving through the mountains, across the plains, etc. My BF, however, had Tmobile and could almost never use his phone when we went on vacation. He switched to Verizon a few months ago and hasn’t had a problem since. Verizon does, SUCK at customer loyalty and constantly changes their contracts and prices, which are way more expensive with less benefits. So I guess it depends what you’re looking for.

          • justinbc

            Yeah, I had been with Verizon as long as they had actually been a network (definitely not all my life, but a pretty substantial time), but going back to your original point, I spent 90% of the year here in DC, and my connection was always dropping out, especially so in my office. Now on T-Mobile it’s very noticeably stronger. I’m happy to make that switch for the majority of the year in the off chance that when I travel to some random tiny country town for vacation that my signal drops and I have to unplug. (Although it will more likely be internationally travel, where T-Mobile actually offers free international data and texting in 120+ countries.)
            PCMag did a nice piece comparing networks across the country last year:

          • Awww, Michigan! I spent some great summers at camp by Lake Michigan and Crystal Lake. Where is your parents’ house?

          • Up on Lake Huron. The Lake Michigan side is my dream. The Lake Huron side is my reality. But with 100 yards of sand and perfect water views on the property, I’ll take it!

          • I’ve had good luck with Verizon loyalty. When my old flip phone died and they didn’t have another one, I had to switch to a smart phone. After spending an hour at the Apple store figuring out if that was what they wanted, they told me it would cost me $100/month for my plan. I said no, and they told me to go to the Verizon store. I did, told them why I was there (that I wasn’t paying $55/month just to upgrade to a smart phone) and asked if there was anything they could do for me. They let me keep my old plan and add 2GB data for $10 more a month and put that on a smart phone. Plus, they gave me unlimited minutes and texts (I used to have 450 minutes and no texts). Much better deal than what they were running at the time, and really a better deal than I had before because had I added just text messaging to my old plan it would have cost $5.

      • T-Mobile is fine. They’ve dramatically expanded their coverage over the years and it works just about everywhere. Verizon has a marginally better coverage map (they got the federal government contract, so they need to be everywhere), but it honestly makes no difference for the average consumer who spend 90%+ of their time in/near a major metro center.
        Verizon sure is damn expensive, though.

        • justinbc

          Yep. My bill is almost half now, and instead of 4GB a month I now get unlimited. Definite win x2.

        • “they got the federal government contract” – do you mean for government phones? Because my government phone is at&t. But I could be completely misunderstanding.
          Also, Verizon is expensive but I looked at AT&T who was just as expensive a couple years ago. Unfortunately, I don’t know how long I’ll be in DC, and T-Mobile has sucked everywhere else I’ve lived or I’d totally switch.

  • rant: got dumped out of the blue
    rave: on to the next one

    • RANT; So sorry, happened to me about a year ago too. Such a slap in the face when you don’t expect it at all!

    • Out of the blue is the worst, I’m sorry – I’ve been there too. 🙁 Hang in there, onwards to better things!

    • Anonynon

      Sorry to hear that, maybe after a while you will come to see it as the best thing that could happen. I am sure glad I got dumped or dumped every person I have saw to this point, the right one will come along.

      • … Me too!
        Sorry, I couldn’t help it. But seriously anonnaw, I’m so sorry but you have a great attitude! I hope someone unexpectedly wonderful sneaks up on you soon.

        • Actual LOL!

          • Thanks, gang! Just seeing this now but appreciate the thoughts. I took the day off and am treating myself to a day to wallow and get over and will be ready to move on. Also actual LOL to FridayGirl.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rant/Rave: This is the 40th anniversary of the fall of Saigon. The photos are still heartbreaking (the Post has a bunch up on their site). At the same time, though, that’s what brought Mr. Zelda to the US, which was a very good thing for me!
    Rave: Eldest Zelda has a college decision. She’s planning to take some classes at MC and then transfer after a year.
    Rant: This is not the choice I would make for her; I wish she would take a true gap year, with no classes at all. She’s really burnt out, and I think she needs some time to decompress.
    Rave: Still though, I think she’s making a mature decision, recognizing that she’s not ready to go away to college. I’m really proud of her.

    • There was a fascinating documentary about the evacuation and fall of Saigon on PBS earlier this week. It is worth watching.

    • Just curious–what high school/area of high school was she in? Are the high schools getting super intense & causing burn-out? I’m getting the impression that while AP/IB programs are great & beneficial in some ways, they are also sometimes a bit much–at least for some kids.

      • This was awhile ago but I did the full IB program and found the first year and a half at a rigorous VA college to be significantly less stressful than the last year and a half of high school.

      • Quotia Zelda

        She’s at a hs in the western part of MoCo (but not a W school). She had a heavy load of AP classes, but this year she just hit the wall. Some of her issues this year have been workload related, some are personal, and some are probably caused by our way of dealing with her workload and personal problems.

        • Gotcha–thanks. Apologies if that read like an intrusion. As for the last listed “cause”, while that may have been the case, I’m sure you did what seemed the most reasonable at the time and hindsight is 20-20. You’re supportive of her giving herself a break to deal with burnout, and I think that’s great. I can only hope to be similarly supportive as needed if/when that time comes. My family (and school environment) was somewhat achievement-focused, and that might not have been supported had I been in a similar position.

          • Quotia Zelda

            Part of the problem is that I am the type of kid who throve on overload and achievement in hs (and college, and grad school). Mr. Zelda was the pot-smoking class clown who – God knows how – managed to get his act together in college. It has been hard for me to realize that “just suck it up and do the work” is perhaps not the best approach, and hard for him to understand that leaving her completely to her own devices and hoping for the best is maybe not the way to go either.

          • Emmaleigh504

            I was left to my own devices and a complete slacker and I made it thru HS, college, & grad school. Relax, she’s a smart kid and will figure out eventually. And she can always changer mind and not go to MC. I know relaxing is easier said than done, but I have faith that you can do it!

          • I don’t have the same inside knowledge as Emilie, but I think you’re on the right track–especially if you’re encouraging a break after coming from the perspective of “suck it up & do the work”. So I think you’ll all get there together, particularly if you’re learning to give her a bit more space to sort things out (as it sounds like you are). Good luck!

  • Rant: Worked until 10 pm with no dinner. Nibbled on a cookie that I brought with me.
    Rant: Had an early start today too.
    Rave: To take a picture with the prime minister at the Blair House before he left DC. 😀 I have now visited the White House and the Blair House for the first time after over 8 years in DC. Whee!
    Rave: The craziness is finally over with! Took my time getting back to work, stopped for coffee and meandered back since my supervisors won’t be back for a while yet.
    Rant: Now today feels like Friday. I don’t feel like doing anything the rest of the day… So tiiiired!

    • Otsukaresama! I thought today was Friday until about 20 minutes ago. 🙁 So glad the craziness is over with!
      PS – my dad was at the Freer dinner last night and I spotted him in the background of one of your photos. : P

      • Hahaha yes I checked him in at registration and asked if he was your father! 😉 “Wait, that name is familiar…” I didn’t realize he was in one of the photos though!

  • Anonynon

    Rave: When things just seem to be going your way, all of the sudden.

  • Rave: I almost feel guilty about this one but I’m so ecstatic that my sister is starting divorce proceedings against her husband. He’s not a very nice person and has refused to have anything to do with their child since he was born (he’s now 6), including helping to support him financially. I am planning the most amazing party for when the divorce is finalized later this year.
    Rant: The leaves on my zucchini plants look like their bleached and I’m not entirely sure what’s the source of the problem. Any ideas?

    • *they’re, not their. Brain needs more coffee.

      • Bleached — could that be caused by nitrogen burn? I’m not really a green thumb but the plants in my office also seem to be bleached.

        • Thank you! I looked at some pictures of zucchini plants with nitrogen burn online and they look exactly like my plants. Guess I’ll try adding some extra water to help wash it out of the soil and see what happens.

  • Rave: Puppy finally understands what a frisbee is and how to participate properly in a game of catch.
    Rave: Said frisbee game also keeps her from tearing up chunks of grass in the backyard.
    Rant: Started drinking coffee again about 4 wks ago. Turns out, that slight coffee allergy the doc told me I have, is indeed true. I feel like I might barf/pass out.
    Rave: Water seems to help. Needed to drink more of that anyways.
    Rant: The Apple Watch. Am I the only one incredibly disappointed it in? Those commercials are also sooooo stupid. Do I really need to pay $500 so someone can send me a winky emoticon, or their freaking heartbeat? Yes, I realize it does more than that, I just haven’t found anything it does that makes me say “Oh, that would make my life better/easier/more exciting.” Also, do we really need people looking down at their wrists as they walk? Phones in the face are bad enough. I just don’t see this as an improvement to our lives.

    • My puppy never figured out Frisbee. In fact, whenever I throw anything to him, it hits him in the face/head, falls to the ground, and then he picks it up. Several hundred attempts later, I gave up and move onto a new game. Haha, I love dogs.

      • My pup only catches food I toss. She doesn’t understand toys.

      • She’ll catch a tennis ball, but so far I consider her attempts to catch, and subsequent chasing down of the frisbee, “understanding how to participate properly.” We need to get a smaller/softer one for her to catch. She’s just a tad to small for the clunky 90s-style one I’ve been lugging with me for years. It does make for hilarity when she grabs it in her teeth with the top side flipped up and she can’t see where she’s going as she trots around with it. She hasn’t quite figured out that she can catch treats I toss to her. She just looks at me, annoyed, like “Why the f— didn’t you just put that near my mouth?”

    • Emmaleigh504

      Love your puppy rave. And agree about the apple watch. The commercials suck and I can’t figure out why I would want it. I have a smart phone so I can carry around fewer gadgets, not more.

      • Someone I follow on Twitter yesterday said that the Apple Watch commercials make her cry. I think I just heard her therapist cashing a check.

      • +500. I have enough Apple gadgets, so I can’t figure why I would want another one with a smaller screen that would be harder to work with that what I already have.

    • Is the puppy a herding-type dog or mix? If so, that might explain her not being all that into playing fetch.

  • Rant: I just discovered that the reason my chunky cat was feeling chunkier is because she has figured out how to jump to the top of the cabinets and gorge on all the dry food I keep up there for the foster kittens.

    Extra rant: The clue to this discovery was a big pile of regurgitated dry food.

    Also, in the 3 minutes or so I left the baby gate open to the kitten room while I went to get a bag to clean the litter box, the dog snuck in and ate all the poo.

    Revel: I still love fostering. My current 2 are going to their new home on Sat. and I’m getting a new batch.

    • Unsure of rant or rave, more questioning: I’m from the south but never before have I noticed this: Men waiting for me to exit the elevator first. Not complaining, just very confusing to me.
      Rave: Sunshine yesterday
      Rave: New bar was wonderful. Humans are wonderful. Wonderfulwonderful.
      Rave/Rant: Trying to avoid fb so y’all will probably be seeing more of me here. These addictions are strong.

      • Anonynon

        It is usually polite to let the women on and off elevators first, unless of course you are in the way, then it can get awkward.

      • If the elevator is crowded, I was always taught to let the ladies out first.

        • This actually makes no sense. If it’s crowded, there’s no room to maneuver, so why would you do anything other than ‘closest to the door exits first’? You want to make the lady at the back squeeze past all the men who are also getting off? That’s creepy.

      • This drives me nuts – elevators are no place for chivalry. Those closest to the door should get out first, because really why on earth would it matter that women exit or enter an elevator first? Just get on and get off, don’t make it complicated. These men who think they’re being chivalrous or something are just making things awkward, and making the rest of us wait around for no reason.

        • Emmaleigh504

          +1 it’s so inefficient! I know guys are trying to be nice, but sometimes I just want to shout you are right there just get in! I’ll make it!

          • Emmaleigh504

            And I work with a bunch of engineers, so one would think they would be into efficiency!

          • Me too! It’s nice, and most of them are notably older than me, but I feel very awkward about it. Especially when they expect me to *slide* past them to get out first.

        • For once I actually agree about the “no place for chivalry” thing.
          But what is worse is when people get ON the elevator seemingly before the doors are even fully open without letting people get off. This happens to me at least once a day in my building.

        • Anonynon

          Lol people need better things to talk about.

        • But what if there are lions in the hall when I step off the elevator?! Who’s going to protect me from the hallway lions??

    • Not sure how foster kittens switched to chivalry/dating/elvators – but takeaway for me is just – be nice – be kind – be open for all possibilities.

  • Rave: First couple who looked at the apartment — three days before the “official” open house, before final cleaning was complete — seem ready to write a check.
    Rant: Clearly I should be charging more. 🙂
    Paranoia: Why do they want to move so quickly? 🙂
    Rave: Enough money to pay Amex!
    Question: Where do you go to do the background/credit check?

    • They want to move fast bc your apartment will go fast! Every time I’ve moved in DC, if I didn’t write the check the day of, I lost the apartment.

    • I outsource the process of tenant processing to Nest. I’ve always recommended this – I don’t charge anything for applications. Applicant pulls their own full credit report with score and provides it to Nest, who does a check of it and calls their references. Then they recommend the top two or three tenant options for me and we go from there. They provide a very professional legal DC lease (and will do changes if you wish, while ensuring those changes are legal in DC). It costs 30% of one months rent. A cost, sure (which I write off), but it takes them like a day, and it all runs much more smoothly in my opinion than everyone I’ve known to just wing it. Hope that helps. As great as it is to have someone interested TODAY, you don’t want to find out they have a history of breaking leases for no legit reason or have a huge debt to income ratio (one accident away from not paying rent). That’s why I outsourced this part of my landlording.

      • I just tell people to bring whatever they have to convince me they are a good tenant. Never a problem, and I’m still in touch and seeing baby pictures on facebook for those who have moved on.

    • I do the background/credit check via SmartMove, which is fine as long as you don’t forget your password. (See rant below.) You can choose between having the tenant pay for the background/credit check or paying for it yourself. I have the tenant pay — it’s a good way to weed out people who aren’t serious.

    • I use checktenants.com. It’s only $13.50 and they email the reports quickly.

    • They want to move quickly because they can’t stop the process of looking until they have a signed lease! You can’t trust a verbal word. They probably have given notice, so are on a tight time frame to find a place. It’s like with looking for a job – you can’t stop looking or interviewing until someone puts the offer in writing, as minds and circumstances can change. (Even if they haven’t given notice, they know you are having an open house, and will have other offers.) Last time I was looking for a rental, it killed me to have landlords who approved me after seeing my credit report and financial stuff, and said they’d send a lease, and then just stopped dead for days on end. I had to move by a certain date, and they seemed to not care that I had to keep looking/couldn’t count on their word/couldn’t give a final notice to my old landlord (who wanted his condo back) until they sent me a lease (and then sent me a copy signed by then!) What about this from the renter’s perspective can’t you understand? You should be happy you have people who are one the ball with the documentation, rather than complaining about it!

      • Meant copy signed by “them” – the landlord. It bugs me when landlords (my current and former ones) get me to sign a lease and then never send me back a copy signed by them!

        • And you need to get the lease out of the way so you can start focusing on all the move stuff – the scheduling of movers (and buildings’ freight elevators, if applicable), the scheduling of cleaners if you are having a move-out or move-in cleaning done, the changing of addresses, the arranging days off to move, the where can the moving van park? issues, the getting of boxes and the packing, the purging and getting rid of furniture and stuff that may not fit your new place – moving makes for really a lot to do, and nothing can be set until you have a lease on a new place in hand.

      • Just a joke — didn’t you see the smiley face and the notation “paranoia?” It’s like the insecure guy (me) who gets a date with a pretty girl and thinks “what’s she doing with a schmuck like me? There must be a problem.” In this case, they seem so nice, it’s all going so swimmingly….there must be some terrible secret!
        (Same way I expect my girlfriend to wake up one morning, say to herself “what was I thinking?” and change the locks while I’m at work.)

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: some debt collection agency is spamming my work voicemail. Why don’t they call during the working day so I can tell them they have the wrong number?!
    Rave: my neighborhood has changed from Adams Morgan to Historic Kalorama. I’m moving up the world.

  • Rave: Massage last night – feel so much better
    Rant: I have a back of knots and need to schedule a few more
    Rave: Today is my Friday – looking forward to getting out of town!
    Rant: Why does DC struggle so hard with decent coffee? It is one of the big things I miss about Seattle eight years on.

    • skj84

      If I may ask, what about the DC coffee scene do you find lacking? I know Seattle is gold standard, but I think DC’s scene is decent. Coffer Bar, Peregrine, Chinatown Coffee, The Wyndown etc… They all churn out a good cup!

      • I love Peregrine and Baked and Wired (best cup of coffee in DC) – but sadly they don’t exist in enough locations.
        What I love about Seattle is that you had a decent number of local chains and single store businesses in every neighborhood (commercial and residential). Plus, even Starbucks folks could pull a decent cup of coffee. I would kill if DC could get its own Cafe Ladro.

        • skj84

          Fair enough! That’s actually something I loved about Minneapolis. Many local owned coffee shops. I do wish DC had more, but I think we will move that direction soon.

        • justinbc

          I dunno man, it seems like small coffee shops are exploding all over this town now. Seems like just about every neighborhood has a couple of their own. I can think of at least 20 that I would consider good, and some excellent. Unless it’s just the quality of the roast you’re not happy with?

          • justinbc

            Just a few from my own cheat sheet, and some of these I’m evaluating on a lot more than just the coffee:

            Baked & Wired
            La Colombe
            The Coffee Bar
            Blind Dog Cafe
            Vigilante at Maketto
            M E Swing
            Bourbon Coffee

            Lot 38
            Flying Fish

          • There are definitely a lot of new coffee shops, and almost all are better than Starbucks, but I’ve only had a handful of truly excellent coffee drinks in DC -ever-, and I’m a big coffee drinker. My biggest complaint is that the espresso component is off in some way. Look up the “god shot” to see what I mean, and how many ways this can go wrong. Places like Blue Bottle discard shots when they’re not quite right, and you can tell that you’re getting higher-end shots every time. In DC, I think most coffee bars, even good ones, aren’t very particular about the shots they pull.

          • justinbc

            I would say you’re probably very right about that, Shawess. I’ve never seen a barista at any coffee shop in DC not serve someone the cup / shot they pulled. That’s obviously not 100% scientific, but it would definitely resonate if I saw someone pouring away coffee shots. I liked Blue Bottle, but wasn’t blown away. FWIW, my favorite coffee shop I’ve ever been to was One Shot Coffee in Philly. And I’m constantly disappointed by stuff in Philly, so that’s saying a good bit.

          • I’m going to try to check that place out, Justin! I don’t get to Philly nearly enough. Out of curiosity, which Blue Bottle did you try? I wasn’t super impressed with the coffee I got there in the Ferry Terminal building, but the several I had at the Mint building were out of this world. I just saw that they’ve expanded quite a bit in recent years and I wonder if they’ve had quality control challenges.

          • justinbc

            It wasn’t at the Ferry, so I’m guessing at the Mint (last January). It was solid, for sure, just not memorable.

          • justinbc

            I was a lot more impressed with Intelligentsia’s operation in LA.

          • justinbc

            Oh, I forgot about Pound the Hill and Chinatown Coffee in my list, which the poll below reminded me of. Would add Pound to the Excellent list and Chinatown to the Good list.

          • Justin – thanks for this list. I am going to make sure I try them out. I’m a grab a cup of coffee on the way to work kind of person and in Glover Park we have Starbucks, Brugers or Einsteins. I work in South West and all we have within a decent walk around my office is Starbucks.
            I don’t know if it is real estate prices but I wish more office buildings in DC had local chains not just Starbucks.

            I was spoiled in Seattle and having pulled coffee for a while during undergrad the minimal supply of good coffee in DC just bugs me. I would open a coffee shop if I won the lottery and no longer needed to earn money.

          • justinbc

            Yeah, there definitely aren’t many other chains in DC, anywhere. Peet’s is the only other big one I can think of. I think I read here that Philz (from SF) might be coming too. I guess Pret A Manger might be considered a chain too but they don’t market themselves as a coffee place, nor does Au Bon Pain (although I prefer their coffee to SB and it’s cheaper). Not sure if Saxby’s is a chain or not, but there are a couple locations for them too and they’re pretty decent. They have a huge flavored drink list if that’s your thing.

      • I’m obviously not the OP, but I had a sort of revelation on this when I last visited San Francisco. Although I think that each of the places you mention here have reasonably/quite good coffee most of the time, my mind was blown by Blue Bottle Coffee, which I had no fewer than five times in two days. What stood out to me was that every coffee I drink I had there was absolutely perfect in every way. The espresso was flavorful and not burned. The milk was perfectly frothed and in the right proportion for the drink I ordered. The art on top was exactly right. Most of the drinks I have in DC get at least one of these things “off” on each drink. it’s never the end of the world or anything, but when you have an expertly made drink, you can see where the others fall short, if that makes sense.

        • I’d also agree with andy2 that Peregrine is excellent. I’ve only had Baked & Wired a few times and really liked it, but it’s almost never convenient for me. I would also add Compass Coffee to the list of better places in DC, although I sometimes wish these places had proper mugs. Somehow it feels less like a proper coffee to me if it’s in a paper cup.

    • Depending on what type of back issues you have a foam roller could be a great idea. It basically does the exact same process to your muscles as a massage and it’s much faster and cheaper than going somewhere.

    • Dupont: Dolcezza
      GT: Baked & Wired, Dolcezza
      Logan: Dolcezza, Peregrine
      Cap Hill: Peregrine
      NoMa: Dolcezza, Peregrine
      H Street: Maketto
      Chinatown: Chinatown Coffee

      + random Peets locations

      I think one could make it across the city, stopping for a coffee every mile or two. DC is no Seattle, but then again only Portland, SF and NYC can rival SEA for coffee; we’re not doing too poorly…

      • I realize I’m very late in saying this, but I totally disagree with La Colombe being the best in DC. It’s a gorgeous space and I love that they use such pretty mugs, but I find one out of three drinks I get there to be undrinkable. I don’t think most of the baristas there are properly trained.

        • who do you like for the top spot in DC? I also don’t think the public did a very good job rating the competition…missed the original poll. find the comments about coffee in Italy vs. coffee in DC/America amusing. coffee in the US has far surpassed the average in Italy…

          • nevmind – saw you’re peregrine and baked/wired fan. peregrine is fantastic. love their milk.

          • I wholeheartedly agree about Italian coffee, but maybe I just missed the really good coffee when I was in Italy?
            I would add Compass Coffee to my list of DC greats. I don’t think I’ve ever had -sublime- coffee there, but it’s always, consistently great. And I like everything else about it too — the decor, the staff, etc. I’m excited to see their future locations, too.

          • Dolcezza is also pretty top-notch, but I always forget them for some reason.

        • I actually have to sort of agree with this – I’m not a coffee snop at all – my favorites in my hood are Dolcezza and Wydown…but La Colombe is on my way to work. Their latte and cap are the same thing. When I asked for it dry, the guy said “most people can’t tell the difference between a latte and a cappuccino” and it still wasn’t dry. The proportion is actually better at starbucks. So now, I stick to their iced coffee. And those new nutella pastries. NOM NOM NOM

          • I love La Colombe – but then, I’m drinking their already made Corsica coffee, not expresso drinks. Love that they have that good healthy organic milk, as I put a lot of whole milk in my coffee. And love that in-store refills are 50 cents – beats Peregrine’s $1 price. I have two refills, and those three cups of coffee aren’t badly priced at all. Love the space too – I go out of my way to go there.

          • All of this just hurts my brain and my soul. coffee just isn’t that important, or different.

          • yes, I know it is espresso – not sure how that x got in there!

          • I would have thought it wasn’t that important to me, but recently I had houseguests who bought a bag of starbucks to make a home, and as I drink it, I realize that while I tolerate starbucks fine when I’m out and that’s what’s around, I am used to drinking better coffee that doesn’t taste burned when at home.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Most of a group I work closely with have been laid off by a VP who is leaving “to pursue other opportunities.“ If Sr Mgmt isn’t happy with this VP why are they sticking with her layoff decisions?
    Rant: DC area staff continues to be laid off while the staff in NC grows.
    Rave: My first ever microplaner arrived yesterday and I zested my first orange. Why did I wait so long to buy this magic tool?

  • skj84

    Rave: got a part time job! Start on Monday

    Rave: called in for am interview today for a full time position elsewhere!

    Rant: the job is not easy to get to without a car. I told my temp agency I don’t have a car, but I don’t think they take that into consideration. Oh well, I’ll make it work.

  • Rave: hello, 30!
    Rave: taking tomorrow off!
    Rant: I have a class tonight. I’m in Largo until 7:30.
    Rave: it’s not far from wegmans so I can grab dinner from there after. Exciting birthday dinner

    • Emmaleigh504

      Happy 30!

    • ask the bakery if they have any broken cookies. Free birthday pastry!

    • Happy 30!
      Is it just me, or is 30 the age when you start forgetting how old you are? Ever since I turned 30, every year I literally have to stop and think when I answer the question “how old are you?” I darn near have to whip out my fingers and toes to figure it out.

      • HAHAHA yes. I also can’t believe the 90s weren’t 10 years ago. Still. mind, blown.

        • OMG yes on this.

        • I can’t believe 2005 was 10 years ago.

          • I can’t believe that Kurt Cobain killed himself 21 years ago. And my HS reunion this last year was 15 (I didn’t go). WTF? I can’t see a majority of my classmates as actual adults, yet I feel overwhelmingly adult.

        • Yes to all of this. I’m constantly doing the math… which makes me 32, almost 33 (!!!)
          I think I’d like to stay 31 forever (it was the best year of my 30s so far and pretty much my adult life).

          Also, why is it that I can remember things from 20 years ago better than 5 years ago?

        • Emmaleigh504

          I was watching the Duggars (it’s sickness) redecorate the girls’ room and at first I was like, it’s not very penny-wise to be already redecorating. then John David was making fun of his dad for being stuck in the 90s, and it hit me that they’ve been on TV for a really long time and it is time to freshen up the girls’ room.

      • Emmaleigh504

        hahaha me too! I always thought it was b/c I change my age on a whim (always older so I will look good for my age).

        • Hahaha. I do this too, especially when I’ve been drinking. I’m 28 but have gotten in the weird habit of telling my bf’s friends I’m 36 when I meet them for the first time. He finds it very odd.

          • Emmaleigh504

            it also makes it really easy to not get freaked out by big milestone birthdays. I’ve spent years telling ppl I’m in my 40s, so when it actually happens it’s no big deal.

          • I love all these ideas and may start stealing them. Everyone thinks I’m older than I am anyhow. Great way to negate the current quarterlifecrisis.

        • I just get confused in the months before my birthday – I’m anticipating the new number, so I think I’ve hit it before I quite have. But I’m getting so old now that I think I will forget numbers all together and start thinking of myself as ageless. I certainly don’t act my age, or look it yet.

    • Happy Birthday! Wooohooooo!

    • Happy birthday, iindsay!

  • Rant: Renewed my registration last month and still have not received my updated sticker/card. Logged a request with 311 online like the renewal email suggested but feel like I’ll probably have more luck just calling the DMV. Any thoughts?
    Rant: Next door neighbors seem to have accumulated 4 recycling bins (which they’re keeping in our shared space) and lost their trash can, so now they are using ours without asking. I think they’re also letting their dogs poop in their backyard (all concrete/wood) and not picking it up for days. If I can smell it in my yard, I can only imagine what theirs is like.
    Rave: Super long walk around the mall and back home last night was much needed. I do love DC despite so much ish recently.

    • Speaking of next door neighbors, ours is progressively getting worse and worse about yard upkeep. When we moved in, we’d see her out there trimming, clipping, planting, etc. Our only concern was the pile of patio furniture on the side of the house (which is still there in the same spot 4 years later.) Now, she only mows and trims about 3x a summer and it’s a freaking mess. She’s a bit older, but by no means unable do it. Plus, she has a daughter who quite often stays for extended periods of time (I think she’s an actress, so isn’t always home.) We’re going to offer to do it for her this summer, but I just wish people cared more. Wah wah, rant over.

      • If she is a little older, I wonder if she has some non-visible health problems? Something like rheumatoid arthritis could make yard maintenance really difficult and painful but she may still be fairly mobile (especially if it’s worse in some joints but not others).

        • She’s never mentioned anything. We have a pretty decent relationship with her. And she walks with the other neighbors every morning. Not that either of these two facts makes that an impossibility. I have a sneaking suspicion she maybe just doesn’t feel like doing it. In which case, there are two strapping young boys next door on the other side who could do it. Get ’em to work!

      • +1 on the caring more. The reason they have 4 recycling bins and no trash cans is because they don’t bother to put theirs out or take them back in, so they have lost their actual cans over the years and just accumulated the ones which they trash people throw into our communal space behind the alley. Then they just dump their stuff in our cans and assume we’ll take the trash out. It is especially annoying because I am pretty sure they own their place and we are renters but we put way more effort into maintaining our space while getting ish from other neighbors simply for being 20-something year old renters (who they assume will be bad neighbors).

        • Suggestion: remove their trash from your can and place it on their doorstep. They’ll get the point.

    • I called the DMV when they sent my sticker and it said NO RPP, even though I was eligible and had paid for one. It was an extremely pleasant call and the issue got fixed immediately. So, I recommend going that route.

      • Thanks! Since I already submitted an online 311 request, calling was not very helpful unfortunately. I was kind of hoping to get a status check but they told me to just look online. My online status is still blank so also not helpful at all. Hopefully it gets to me when they mail it the second time!

  • Rant: Prospective tenant who seemed promising still hasn’t submitted an application.
    Rant: The website for SmartMove (credit-check company run by TransUnion) won’t allow you to reset your password unless you access it at renterinsight.smartmove.com rather than mysmartmove.com. What a stupid setup.
    Rave: Have made a note to myself in the hope that I won’t run into this same password-resetting problem however many months down the road when I need to use SmartMove again.

    • Having so many sites/apps with required username/passwords now I created an “accounts” folder in my email and send myself messages with them (well, with references to them, not the actual password – something like “brother 1 birth year”). I put the name of the site in the subject line and the other info in the body. Has saved me a lot of frustration since I started doing that. Probably not the most secure thing to do, but makes transactions a lot easier…

  • Rave: Talked to ladyfriend and really felt good to know we’re definitely on the same page even if we’re not sure on what page that may be.
    Rant: Creepy dudes!
    Rave: Amy Schumer at DAR in May. Going with a bunch of friends and the ladyfriend. Woot!
    Rant: Allergies. I’ve never had a cough this bad, but it’s only allergies. Flonase here I come.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Flonase is a miracle drug. I wish I had tried it years ago! I was ready to be disappointed, how does a nasal spray combat 6 symptoms blah blah blah. But it does! It’s like I don’t have allergies anymore!

      • Flonase has done nothing for me! 🙁 I’m so disappointed, my sister uses it and it worked great for her but it had no effect on me… Sigh.

        • justinbc

          Try Nasacort instead. I just started it two days ago after weeks of trying all sorts of other stuff to no avail and I’m already almost totally cleared up.

        • Flonase is a gift from God. I’ve used it every day for the past 5 years and I’ve never felt better during allergy season. It’s also helped crush the chronic sinus infections I had for about 15 years. I’m sorry it doesn’t work for you. Do you use it everyday?
          Also, my doc showed me how to spray it in an ‘V”. Basically, push one nostril closed and tilt your head forward. Point the spray bottle in the other nostril outward, toward the outer part of the inside of your nose. Spray and breath in slowly but deeply. This allows the spray to attach itself to the hair and cilia along the outside inner part of the cavity. If the spray just goes right into your sinuses, it’ll drip down your throat and be of no use to your body.

    • “Only allergie”s can turn into more due to post nasal drip. I was coughing so bad my first spring in DC, went to the doc, and found I had strep throat – caused by the pollen allergies and what then unfolded from them. Hard to kill sinus infections can also result from allergies – though for a number of years now I’ve kept them from progressing to needing antibiotics, which I hate taking, with nasal irrigation at the first sign of stuffiness, and lots of mucus thinner, which is always and only gauifenesin – my favorite form of which lately has been a cough syrup by NaturAde found at Whole Foods and Yes markets.

  • topscallop

    Rave: BKK signs are up and they look great! So excited to try it out as soon as they open.
    Rave: yesterday’s weather was perfection and I walked around a lot enjoying it
    Rave: food trucks for lunch today
    Question: does anyone have recommendations for things to do and see in Morocco, in and around the High Atlas Mountains?

    • Topscallop, I believe Justin can answer all of your Morocco-related questions.
      I’ve been to Marrakesh (also spelled Marrakech). I thought the best things there were the Yves Saint Lauren garden (I can’t remember its actual name), some other gardens, and my visit to a hammam (traditional bath place), where a drill-sergeant-type older lady gave me commands like “Assieds-toi!” (“Sit down!”)

      • topscallop

        Thanks! When is the next happy hour? I missed the last one because I was sick and didn’t want to pass along germs, but if there’s one before my trip I will definitely ask Justin for tips. I’m going to Marrakesh as well, and Fez. Hope my French comes back strong enough to carry us through…

      • * St. LaurenT.

    • I spent several months in Morocco and we generally did most things on our own, but we did go on a guided tour through the high atlas and desert that included a camel ride and camping in the dunes. If you’ve never done that sort of thing, it’s definitely a cool experience and super easy because they provide meals and supplies for you. The trip included stops at Ait Benhaddou and Ouarzazate (where lots of movies and parts of GoT have been filmed), and other stops with amazing views of mountains along the way. If you feel like a drive to the coast, Essaouria is a relaxed small coastal town; Agadir is more modern and bustling with a nice beach.

  • Rant: The BF and I can’t seem to pick a vacation spot. This always happens and we end up just not going anywhere.
    Rave: I’m in pretty good shape if that’s my biggest problem.
    Rave: Great run last night!
    Rant: Now that I’ve picked my last work day… motivation is LOW.

    • What are you looking for? Relaxing, beach type theme or exploring, museums, things like that?

      • We keep getting stuck on that exact point. I think more of a relaxing type trip is in order since we usually do cities or have generally busy vacations. The problem is that we are on a tight budget and I’m probably a bit too picky.

        • Why don’t you do something that you think is completely the opposite of YOU. For me, that would be Dollywood. It’s so antithetical to my idea of fun that it comes full circle and begins to sound amazing. I’m also beginning to be curious about Las Vegas… I feel like I’ve done Provence and the Highlands and Tuscany… now I want to see what all the hype is about closer to home.

          • Along those lines, it sounds like a cruise would be perfect. They’re very budget-friendly and relaxing! It’s a lot of fun; you just have to ignore your inner snob and go with it.

          • I would probably be up for either Dollywood or Vegas by I think the BF would refuse to join! He went to Vegas for work last fall and hated everything about it. I’m less picky about location and more particular about accommodations. He’s picky about activities (hates crowds). Where else is on your domestic bucket list?

          • Thanks, Caroline. I hadn’t thought of a cruise and that might be a good idea for us. Do you have any cruise line recs?

          • I Dont Get It

            There’s always Branson 😉

          • How about one of the national parks? You probably don’t want to do Yosemite… too dry and brown and sad this year. But Yellowstone/ Grand Tetons? No crowds, excellent nature, rich people = good restaurants, and the possibility of high-end accommodations. I just don’t know about prices.

        • What about a place like Nashville or St. Louis — a city that has plenty to do, but won’t make you feel too harried. I bet there are some good deals for nice hotels in those cities, too.

          • Thanks, Shawess! Nashville or St. Louis are great suggestions and neither of us have been. We both love country music so Nashville is particularly appealing… We spend a lot of time in NYC and, of course, D.C. so I’m not sure I would want to do a big east coast city like Philly but it’s worth looking into.

          • You could spend an entire long day, or two less-long days, at the City Museum in St. Louis. That place is cra-zee.

        • Also, what about a closeby place like Philly, which Justin reminded me about earlier? Can’t beat the ease of a quick train trip or drive.

  • Asking my girlfriend’s dad’s blessing tomorrow. Is it normal to be nervous? This is my first time ever doing this, is asking for parents blessing archaic? Are guys still doing this?

    • As a woman (who has never been properly proposed to), I say that I sure hope it’s still being done. I know my father would certainly appreciate it. And, he’d be honest with the prospective husband, which frankly, sometimes you dudes need!

    • laduvet

      this is amazing!!!!! good luck!

      • My fiancee didn’t and I preferred she didn’t. My sister’s husband didn’t either. I think it depends on the wishes of your SO. I know some women who would flip their sh!t if the dude didn’t ask, but others would be so offended and find it archaic.

    • Well, the idea of a father owning a daughter and conveying her to a husband is not only archaic, it’s downright offensive. If he’s an old-fashioned guy and would appreciate the gesture, maybe address both parents together (assuming they’re available together) to mitigate a bit of that female-as-property element. I have to say that if our daughter’s partner asked my husband’s blessing/ permission to ask for her hand or whatever, my husband would NOT take it well. He would be offended on our daughter’s behalf, and take it as a sign that the partner didn’t respect our daughter’s autonomy. But then, my husband’s feminism makes mine look all meek and mild. 😀
      My husband didn’t say anything to my parents; we announced our engagement together. They were mildly miffed, but they got over it.
      Also, ask yourself, what are you going to do if he says no?

      • Funny you should say that b/c I was reading something last night about how there is a fine line in how you ask, because like you said, it would come across as her being treated as a piece of property. I wish I could remember what the wording was, something about how you’re not asking permission to marry her, rather the blessing to ask? IDK, I have to find it again. I’m doing it for a couple of reasons, a) my girlfriend would like for me to do it and I really don’t want to start this engagement off on the wrong note and 2) her dad’s kinda old school. I’m actually talking to both of her parents,

        • justinbc

          Honestly, who cares what other people think? If she wants it, and he appreciates it, that’s all that matters. You don’t have to justify your relationship to anyone but yourself and your partner. Personally, I didn’t do it, because I think it’s silly. I also think diamond rings are silly, but that’s what she wanted, so that’s what I did. If she’s important to you then just make her happy.

          • This is exactly the right attitude. I spoke with my now-wife’s parents not to ask their permission, but out of respect for them and their love for their daughter. They were visiting at the time – I didn’t have to travel to see them – and I knew they’d appreciate it, and my wife wouldn’t mind. If they, or she, would have been upset by it, I wouldn’t have done it. This is the low-hanging fruit, people – if you can, make the people you love, and who are important to those you love, happy. Especially if it requires little or no effort on your part.

    • IMO, kind of archaic. But what do I know, I’m not engaged or married.

      • Well, I personally respect my father and would want his blessing as he welcomes a new son into our family. My father has been my biggest support, protector and champion my entire life. So, his opinion matters to me. I want my future husband to know this and to understand that he’s not just entering a into a marriage with me, but into a lifetime as a member of my family. If that makes me “archaic” then so be it. But I’m a midwestern gal and my family means more to me than anything.

        • I don’t think I’d mind if a suitor asked both of my parents for their blessing. But it would seem weird to me if he asked just my father.

          • Realistically, this is most likely how it would happen if my current bf asked. He understands that my mother actually gets the last word. Always. 🙂

    • Archaic as hell, but speaking as a former suitor and current dad, it still seems like a nice touch. Potential drawbacks: girlfriend is ardent/academic feminist and hates the sort of chattel implications of the whole thing more than the likes the charming anachronism-ness of the process (and implied respect for father and family); or father is young/’progressive enough to think you’re a looney tune. My father-in law was a Catholic born in 1928 and my girlfriend was a feminist who nonetheless enjoyed having me order for her at swank restaurants and other old-school affectations (come to think of it, new girlfriend lets me order when we’re in a necktie joint, too), so it turned out to be a quite solid tactical move on my part (a generation ago).

      • See that’s where I’m at as well, I get why guys still do it, and I think if I had a daughter who I’ve raised and nurtured for so long, even if it’s semi-formal or not I’d still want to see what her future husband’s intentions are. And it’s important to my girlfriend, and if it’s important to her, it’s important to me.

    • Quotia Zelda

      I think it depends on your prospective fiancee and her father. Honestly, the idea grossed me out a little, and my father would probably find it icky (and corrupt! Anything old-fashioned is corrupt in his mind), as well. But that’s us, not y’all.
      But, we didn’t even do a proposal. Mr. Zelda and I decided that since we’d been talking about marriage, we might as well set a date. We did, and so were were engaged.
      Good luck!

    • I agree with ParkViewRes, “I think it depends on the wishes of your SO.” FWIW, I didn’t have a strong opinion on it in advance, either way. But my husband did ask both of my parents for their blessing before he proposed, and they considered this a very nice gesture. I don’t see it as a question of “ownership,” but rather as a sign that my husband valued my parents’ stake in my future and that he wanted to show them respect before making a move that would impact our whole family. I think it’s a nice thing to do, basically, as long as it’s framed properly.

    • jim_ed

      I did it before I proposed to my wife. Technically I asked both of her parents at the same time for their blessing. If anything, I think its a good idea because you’ll find out real quick if her parents hate the idea of their daughter marrying you, and the sooner you find that out, the better. FWIW my wife’s parents appreciated it.

    • I have mixed feelings on this. My now-husband asked my dad, which kind of offended me because it’s not like I’d been asking my dad for permission to do just about anything for a solid decade or more, and it implied that I didn’t have autonomy. That said, I think my dad appreciated it. Then again, it also meant they knew I was getting engaged well before I did (by like three or four months).

    • I did it a few months ago, and most all of my friends have done it. I think it’s a nice gesture to incorporate her parents into the process. I decided I wanted to not because I thought I needed “permission,” but because I think it shows the family you much you value them. In my case, my future FIL was the only one in the world other than me to know because I wanted to keep it a surprise. That meant a lot to him, and to me. If you know them pretty well (e.g. have spent holidays with them), it is like any other conversation. My advice is to write out what you plan to say and practice a few canned lines that you can rely on if you get nervous. If you’re going to lunch, try to get a decently private table. Don’t mess around with a lot of small talk and just cut right to the chase. Oh, and last piece of advice… these are questions you ask only if you are confident in the answer. KIDDING! You’ll do great.

    • Remember, you don’t have to directly ask for their permission or make it look like a real estate closing. Instead say something “I really love your daughter, I am planning to marry her, and I hope that I can do that with your blessing and support.” Remember NOT to preface it with lines like : “now that we’ve been living in sin for three years I”m going to make an honest woman of her” or follow with “but first, let’s talk dowry.” Even in jest, lines like “I have a masters degree in business administration — that’s worth a lot of goats these days,” are likely to fall flat.

      • Thanks for the LOL!

      • Lol! My dad didn’t talk to my boyfriend for a year after we moved in together and was pretty weird to me for about 9 months. My dad and BF had this bizarre conversation where my dad basically went on about why it was a bad idea, my BF said I understand where you are coming from but this is our choice, and then my dad blew up. I was looking around for goats during all of this… I’m sure the engagement ordeal will be just as dramatic when/if that time comes!

    • My husband didn’t and I once asked my dad if it bothered him. He said that his response, had it happened, would probably have been along the lines of “I’m not the one who needs to decide this- ask my daughter.” So, in my case, it would have been archaic.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I think it depends on the family. My parents would hate it, and so would I.
      lol that it’s your first time. Hopefully it’s your only time!

    • My now-husband asked both of my parents, and made a bit of a joke of the institution of asking–he gave each of them plush cows as a fair trade to ask for their daughter’s hand in marriage. They both loved it, already loved him being part of the family, and obviously agreed. But we all have a strange sense of humor 🙂

  • Rant: Fell for the “please refer to doc I’ve shared via Google doc” – while I know .gov email addresses can be hacked, it was also from someone I’d been corresponding with. Guard was down, clicked on the link. Oh well. Didn’t supply my email password….and have changed my password.

    Rave: Atlanta this weekend for my nephew’s wedding. I’ve transited through but never visited – looking forward to a mini-vacation and unplugging for a few days.

  • That One Guy

    Who sells the best fried chicken in DC?

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: ProQuest-Dialog is such a terrible database! I keep doing the exact same search and getting wildly different results. It’s crazy making!

  • Rant: Bought two tickets to the Lord Huron show on Monday, May 4th, at the 9:30 Club and now I won’t be able to make it.
    (Your?) Rave: Anyone interested in buying them? I’m selling them for exactly how much I paid ($66 for two tickets).

  • Ranty-Rave: Going to a job fair sponsored by my grad school alumni association tonight. At my age it seemed a little silly, but there’s a solid list of companies who will be there, some of which I’d would like to connect with, and they’re looking for people a various levels of experience, not just recent grads. So, it seems like it could be a good opportunity and, given the way the job-hunt has been going (some nibbles, no offers), it makes sense to check it out.
    Showered, shaved, dressed up and out the door by 400.

  • Uh oh. It’s happened. Going to visit grandma this weekend, and my barfer and I are assigned middle seats, two rows apart. No other available seats, not even the back row by the toilets, not even for purchase. Can’t be the jerk who asks someone to move from an aisle or a window to my middle seat, can I? But how about being the jerk whose kid inevitably needs a grownup to hold the barf bag?
    What would PoPville do? (Other than ask at the airport, of course.)

    • Was it on this site people were recently unanimously complaining that they would NOT change seats for a parent to sit with a child on a plane? I didn’t write, but I was shocked. Perhaps I am just too nice a person, but I get that a child needs to sit with a parent, and a parent needs to take care of their child. I’d happily move, even to a middle seat, if asked nicely. I don’t have kids, but I know others that do, and I have taken care of kids, and it just seems like a no-brainer to me. Maybe it is generational? (I’m old compared to folks on here, a baby boomer.) Or because I like and respect kids, always wanted to have my own (never did and not happening though), and get how tough parenting them can be. I always like the parents who write that if someone won’t move, they will hand the refusing adult a barf bag and tell them what to do when the child has issues (or whatever the issue is with other, smaller children) – then they move.

      • More likely my belief that each should get according to their needs….

      • I would totally move for a parent to sit with a child (I just get irritated when single adults ‘accidently’ sit in the wrong seat). BUT you could also ask how they might be able to accomodate this seating issue when you get to the airport. If someone doesn’t show up, they might be able to find you two new seats. Alternatively, the flight attendants could help — I’m sure airport employees deal with these issues all the time!

      • I don’t think anyone specifically said they’d refuse to move to allow a parent and child to sit together (I think this was actually the one exception many people named) — more that they weren’t sympathetic to couples, adults, friends, etc. who wanted other people to take less desirable seats so that they could sit together.
        WDC, ask at the airport, but if that fails, I think asking nicely and acknowledging that the middle seat is less desirable is the way to go: “I’m really sorry because I know this means asking you to exchange a window/aisle seat for a middle seat, but my kid is prone to airsickness, and…”
        And if there’s resistance, handing the neighboring adult a barf bag for the kid ought to do the trick.

        • That’s really passive aggressive, actually it’s just rude and not very nice. You’re entitled to the seat you paid for and there’s no need to indirectly say things like, “not my problem if my kid barfs all over you cause you wouldn’t switch seats.” Seriously?!!

          • *shrugs* That was my suggestion if the neighboring seat-people refused a politely worded request.
            I am generally not sympathetic to people who want to change seats because they “want to sit together”… but this seems like one of the few situations where there’s actually a compelling reason for two people to sit together.

    • Call the airline and ask for seat reassignments? Or arrive early and ask when you check in. If it’s not a really long flight you might ask people to swap.
      Also, if your puker is old enough to sit by himself on the flight, he’s old enough to hold his own barf bag.

      • +100
        Call the friggin’ airline and explain the situation. They will re-seat a single traveler. It’s happened to me many times as a single traveler – I will book a particular seat and when it’s time to check in, I will find I’ve been re-seated. Such is life.
        But yeah, call today.

    • Has your kid tried Bonine for motion sickness? I remember it working well against carsickness when I was a kid. And it’s easily chewable and tastes fine, unlike Dramamine, which is foul-tasting.

Comments are closed.