Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user  Paul Sirajuddin

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

237 Comment

  • Rant: Sidewalks and roads are awful.
    Rave: The snow is beautiful and Dupont Circle looks so funny following the snow ball fight.
    Rave: Last week before heading out on our Buenos Aires/Patagonia/Santiago trip.
    Rant: Packing for going out in the city, hiking & camping, horseback riding, biking, and just hanging.
    Rave: Tough life if I have to worry about packing for all those awesome activities 😀

  • Rant: Roads and sidewalks are still a mess. The curb lane on Connecticut Avenue is particularly bad, making for a fun bus ride in this morning.
    Rave: Caught the last L1 in this morning, which is a more direct shot. Always great, given the Red Line had issues this morning.
    Rave: Indoor parking at our co-op.
    Rant: People who do a crap-ass job clearing off their cars. I get it – you need to get somewhere, but it gets dangerous for the cars behind you when those shelves of snow/ice start flying off your car.
    Rave: Baked some delicious cookies with my daughter yesterday afternoon, which we enjoyed with hot cocoa after she played in the snow. Reminds me of my childhood.

    • I was going to catch an L1 and then it vanished (at just after 8 am), and the L2 bus driver was telling people at the bus stops that the L1 wasn’t running. When did you catch it? The L2 tacks an extra 10-15 minutes onto my commute, which is a pain. I wish the L1 didn’t only run during rush hours.

      • I caught it right around 9 am in Cleveland Park – they were only running every 20/30 minutes or so, but I just kept checking NextBus to make sure it was still coming. Today, it was accurate.

  • special_k

    To the person inquiring about Fort Reno this year, you probably saw this, but submissions are being accepted.

  • Rant: Picked up my car from the shop, but I had to turn right around because my wiper wouldn’t work.
    Rave: Only freezing in the line, and they gave me a gas card for the inconvenience.
    Rave: Should be back on track with my training next week.
    Rant: Managed to eat nothing for 2 days and gain weight. Come on body!
    Rave: Trying a CSA for the first time. $250 for 10 weeks seems like a pretty good deal.

    Anon asked what happened to my car late yesterday. Someone rear-ended me in mid-Feb.

    • Which CSA are you using?

    • Is that a half share?

    • So maybe this isn’t a good deal after all…
      Seems like a quarter share fits the 2 people description. Is this a good price for that size?

      • In my experience, you’ll have way more crap than you can ever eat. Invest in a good juicer.
        Quarter share is fine for two people. $250 might be $25 overpriced, so it’s not much. If they deliver to your door, it’s worth the premium.

        • They don’t deliver, but the pickup is close to things I normally do, so that’s fine. $25 over (cheapest I’ve seen so far) isn’t bad, but I’ll research before I take the plunge. I have 3 weeks to decide.
          It’s also just me, so that was a concern, but I have a juicer.

          • I use 4P foods and it is amazing because the variety is great and you can decide weekly whether you want the bag that week. Generally I get 1 bag @ $35/bag every 2 weeks.

          • How big is a bag? Like brown grocery bag? I’m going to check it out.

          • The bag a larger than a brown paper bag- it is more like the size of a reusable. Here is what came in the bag last week- granted we are in the “winter” cycle.

            Bean Sprouts – JC Bean Sprouts – King George, VA
            Beauregard Sweet Potatoes (Certified Organic) – Chiques Roc Organics – Mt. Joy, PA
            Black Winter Radishes (Certified Organic) – Sunrise Ridge Organics – Kirkwood, PA
            Green Batavia Lettuce – Fresh2o – Stevensburg, VA
            Honey Tangerines – Sweet Taste O’ Florida – Clermont, FL
            Pink Lady & Braeburn Apples – Kauffman’s Orchard – Bird In Hand, PA
            Portabella Mushrooms (Certified Organic) – Mother Earth Organics – West Grove, PA
            Red Cured Onions (Certified Organic) – Porter Farms – Lancaster, PA
            Spaghetti Squash – Dodd’s Acres Farm – Mechanicsville, VA
            Turnips – Dodd’s Acres Farm – Mechanicsville, VA

  • Rave: Snow day yesterday. I really needed the day off and am so grateful I got it.
    Rave: I spent the day baking, cooking, laying on the couch, and watching House of Cards.
    Rant: The number of times I almost slipped and fell on my way to work this morning. I apparently don’t have my snow legs anymore. Perhaps I need to do a better job of channeling my inner penguin (or you know, people could shovel their walks).
    Rave: Friday! I’m seeing a lot of my favorite people this weekend.

    • I highly recommend YakTrax (under$20) – slip on cleats that are perfect for navigating the sidewalks of shame.

      • I need to buy a pair. Thanks for the advice.

      • Ally

        My Mom just bought me a pair of these? I hadn’t tried them yet since she’s from Florida and I figured snow expertise might not be her forte. Great to know they actually work!

  • Rave: Had a great snow day yesterday.
    Rant: It took me nearly 1.5 hours to get downtown this morning… and I live in the District :-/

  • special_k

    Rave Music: Mike Savino and Tall Tall Trees. Saw Mike Savino at the Velvet Lounge on Thursday and he was AMAZING. Definitely worth checking out. He’ll be back in Baltimore in April for JHU’s Spring Fair. I’m a little obsessed right now.
    Rave Books: Eleanor & Park and Fangirl. Whipped through these two books so fast I don’t know what to do with myself now. On the waiting list for Landline.
    Rant Music: I think I need more show-going friends. So many great artists to see and I’m often scrambling to find someone to go with me.
    Rant books: I hate when a good book is over. I’m never quite ready to leave that world behind.

    • I have the same problem re: show-going friends. I just started going alone.

    • Alternatively, hit up shows by yourself. I see no reason to miss out on someone awesome for want of a companion.

    • I agree with you so much on the book rant. 🙁 Just want them to keep going on!

      • special_k

        It’s a Catch-22. I can’t wait to find out what happens then I’m oh so sad that it’s over.

    • LOVE his banjo playin’.

      • special_k

        I first saw him last year when he joined Kishi Bashi on stage for a few songs and was so impressed. He’s hilarious, too.

    • I love Rainbow Rowell! Haven’t read Landline yet, let us know what you think when you finish. I read her older book Attachments which I liked too. Such a sweet/borderline cheesy love story.

    • Yes to more show-going friends. I go to a lot of shows, and I usually bring my one go-to concert buddy and best friend. In terms of dating, I’ve found that the people I date are usually more than willing to go to shows with me even if they have no interest in the artist. That’s one solution. I’ve also heard good things about meet-up groups but have never participated in one.

      • special_k

        I like these suggestions, esp. the one about charming some lovely young man into take me. I’ll work on it. 😉

    • Cinnamonster

      So glad you enjoyed Eleanor & Park and Fangirl! Rainbow Rowell’s amazing. Fangirl was just a total delight to read – she’s writing a Simon Snow book too, out later this year!

  • rave: silent office (2hr delay but I’m already here) gives me time to warm up my brain
    rant: last minute scheduling changes that make me have to go back to my apartment to get stuff before going out again. urghh it’s such a pet peeve to have plans changed same day for me.
    rant: uncleared crosswalk at N st. nothing like slipn’slide to work.

  • Rave: Nice,. quiet office this morning.
    Rave: I think all my meetings are either casual or on the phone, so I’m not sure I’m going to take my snow boots off all day. Yay for warm feet!
    Rave: My belly is now big enough that I can rest my hands and beverages on it- I feel like my high school debate teacher (who was not pregnant, he just had a big belly that he used to his advantage)

  • Rant: I could really use one of these “snow days” I keep hearing people talk about. I’m overdue for some time on the couch in PJs with hot chocolate and a book.
    Rave: There’s a new Tina Fey show and I only heard about it yesterday. I know what I’ll be doing this weekend!
    Rant: My calendar keeps eating appointments and I don’t know why. A handful of things I’m positive I put on my calendar are inexplicably gone. I think it’s a syncing issue with Outlook and my phone but don’t know how to even begin to fix this.
    Rave: IT’S FRIDAY.
    Rave: My dog is still the greatest of all the great things in my life.

    • Cinnamonster

      Yesss!!!! The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt! I just watched the first episode and really enjoyed it. Trying to force myself to do other tasks so I don’t just plow through all 13 episodes today. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!

      I hope you get some wonderful couch + cocoa time this weekend!

    • I forgot to add a big rant: Someone was either shoveling their walk or digging out their car near my house at 3 AM for about 45 minutes. It sounded like they were shoveling and picking at ice inside my bedroom. I was infuriated and even considered calling the police with a noise complaint, but my husband talked me out of it. I still kind of wish I had.

      • I assume they wouldn’t be out there if they didn’t have to be. Would a noise complaint force someone to delay a trip or going to work? I’m curious.

        • That’s exactly what my husband said. I think that if the person really had someplace to be at 4 AM, they could have dug out their car or shoveled after the snow stopped falling last night. Or taken an Uber.

          • I’m not sure when it finally stopped, so perhaps they went to bed for the early awakening. Plenty of trips are beyond the feasibility of an Uber, and he might not have been able to afford it. I do not use Uber personally. I’m sorry you were inconvenienced, but I’m going to go with the hubby on this one.

          • I think it stopped at about 8 o’clock in our neighborhood. Or earlier. And I’m not sure that one person’s timing should trump the quiet of the 20ish neighbors within earshot. I think this person was a selfish jerk.
            Anyway, I didn’t come here to argue about this, Anon Spock. I just wanted to rant.

          • You wanted to call the police? Sheesh, I don’t think anyone would be out at 3am if they had other options

          • Accountering

            I TOTALLY understand your rant. Sucks you lost sleep on this one. I know the nights when I lose an hour of sleep from 3am to 4am or whatever suck! I do have to side with the husband. I tend to agree that is is very likely he had an early morning flight from IAD or something, and was driving out there. Certainly a tricky one, and I think we can both agree that we are happy spring is coming, so this is a non-issue after tomorrow!

          • Accountering

            But yes, Rant away, I am with you – that sucks!

          • This sometimes works for me – when I think someone is being a jerk, I make up reasons for their behavior so that I can feel some empathy.
            Someone tailgating, driving like a jerk = they have diarrhea and are in a rush to get to a bathroom
            Someone shoving on the metro = their partner is about to deliver their first child
            Someone keeping me awake clearing ice and snow from their car = they have to drive to a hospital because their partner/child is in critical condition.

          • hammers

            MPinDC I like that very much, and do something similar! but I still can’t make an excuse for my loud upstairs neighbor except maybe he’s a tweeker and needs a fix :-/

          • I realize I’m solidly outvoted, so I guess it’s good I didn’t call the police! I also really like MPinDC’s approach. Still I can think of a lot of ways this person could have avoided waking up the neighborhood if s/he weren’t so self centered, either with some advance planning or a taxi.

          • Except you can’t plan for emergencies, and taking a taxi to, say, a hospital in WVA isn’t reasonable.

    • Great rave about your dog. This morning my boyfriend thanked my dog for making me so happy.

  • Rave: As much as I complain about my job, it is nice to get snow days off.
    Rave: I got the call fairly early last night and was able to sleep in this morning!
    Rave: My wonderful roommate for shoveling while I slept.
    Rave: No rants today 🙂

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Insomnia so much insomnia.
    Rave: pinks socks and purple shoes

  • Pablo Raw

    Rave: Snowball fight. I was hit several times, my camera was also hit. It was a lot of fun though
    Rant: Dupont Circle fountain. Someone thought it was a good idea to pee in the fountain; probably several people.
    Rave: Going to Baltimore for the weekend.

  • Rave: Really gorgeous out this morning with the snow still on the trees and how bright and clear it is.
    Rant: No delay for me, sidewalks, etc. California between Connecticut and Massachusetts is always a bit of a deathtrap in bad weather, a lot of the houses/embassies don’t shovel or salt the sidewalks…
    Rave/rant: Snow day yesterday. Was so nice to sleep in and not have to work, and it was good to take it easy with , but I am going SO STIR CRAZY. Too much time in my apartment and on my own.
    Rant: Didn’t go out to the snowball fight in Dupont because I didn’t think I knew anyone who was going, turned out I would have (Pablo and Zaogao!). I totally should have gone, darn it.

  • Aglets

    Rave: snowday with my cat who is 110% better
    rave: bonnafide delay today which we’ve never done but it was the right call and so far has worked out.
    Fingers crossed: hope the UPS packages that tried to be delivered yesterday are delivered today!

    QUESTION: What do you wear to a 6pm wedding (my cousin, but he’s the groom- don’t have a read on the bride. only met her once) on the 28th of march on long island? It’s like- stone harbor or something, not staten island if that helps. Does 6pm mean fancier? i hate weddings… sorry but i do. at least family ones.

    • Do you know anything about the wedding’s venue? Sometimes that can help with planning.

      • Aglets

        I hadn’t even thought of that! will check out the invitation when i get home. thank you!

      • hammers

        I have a wedding at 6 PM too- its at some fancy house but it’s outside in April in NC. Hard to plan for! I always just wear a semi dressy cocktail dress and take a sweater.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I hate weddings too. I like looking at registries and sending gifts, though. For evening I go fancier, but as Shawess said, the venue will help.

    • Like others said, depends on the venue. If it helps, I wore a cocktail dress to a summer evening wedding on Long Island a couple of years ago (can’t remember exactly where…Huntington?), seemed appropriate.

    • If it’s a catering hall on LI, then dress up.

      • +1. I’m originally from LI and find that events are typically on the dressier/formal side with a TON of food.

  • Rave: Made French onion soup on the snow day – came out fantastic.
    Rant: Paying for snow day now.

  • Rave: Thinking about taking a trip around Memorial day. Can’t decide where-somewhere with cheapish flights, thinking Costa Rica. Anyone have any recommendations?
    Rave: So much fun at the snowball fight yesterday! Felt kinda bad for the people in the fountain getting pelted, but loved the smaller snowball fights off to the side/this one beautiful golden retriever.
    Rant: Apprehensive for a get together this weekend. Ex might be there. Ugh.

  • Rave: Snow day was great yesterday! Did some work in the morning, then spent the afternoon watching SVU, taking naps, doing laundry, drinking tea, and made shrimp tacos for dinner. Also started a new book from a Danish crime writer, I’m not sure I like it yet though.
    Rant: The sidewalks were a disaster this morning. Thankfully I have great winter boots and have not had an MS issue for most of the winter. It was dicey for a minute there though, especially around the metro entrance.
    Rave: I keep forgetting it’s Friday.

    • Who is the author? I’m a nut for all things Scandinavian and enjoyed Norwegian Jo Nesbo’s books the last few years.

  • Rave: Two hour delay.
    Rave: Day care still open (keeping my fingers crossed it stays that way all day!)
    Rant: periodic nausea
    Rave: telling myself it’s a good sign on the pregnancy front.
    Rant: had to cancel trip to FL
    Rave: no longer need to figure out whether to hide pregnancy from nosy & excitable extended family or just embrace the crazy & tell them.
    Rave: we have a great t-shirt for my daughter to wear when we’re ready to tell people–it says she’s being promoted to big sister. I’m totally using it to tell my parents before I ask them to bring down my maternity clothes from the first go-round 🙂

    • Hopefully you (+1 maybe) can come out to happy hour since the trip is cancelled. I’m sure their club soda is fabulous. 🙂

      • 3pm is in the middle of nap time, so unless my roommate is around & up for babysitting, we’re probably still out. But I’ll keep it on my radar in case it works out. Sorry!

  • Anon Spock’s rave reminds me: I want to join a CSA this year – is anybody a member of one they can recommend to me?

  • epric002

    rave: rock creek park was goddamn gorgeous this morning.
    rave: our block did an excellent job shoveling. it was nice to chat with people, and apparently beers were had during the second shoveling wave!
    neither rant nor rave: went ahead and took a day of leave yesterday. i didn’t really have any work i could do from home. was super busy though!
    rave: wore the dogs out playing the snow with a neighbor dog until…
    rant: another dog showed up and she and formerly foster puppy did.not.like each other and got snappy so we had to leave. no one’s teeth made contact with the other dog and the other owner was very reasonable about the whole thing, a la, dogs will be dogs.
    rave: they were so pooped they were still fast asleep at 7:30 this morning 🙂

  • Rant: How do i get it though my thick skull that a guy just isn’t into me? I just don’t understand it when they disappear after what I’m quite sure were a couple of really fun dates.
    Rave: Friends to distract me and good vacations to look forward to.
    Rave 2: taxes are almost complete! Refunds will just about cover said vacations.

    • Doesn’t make you any less fun, interesting, etc. Doing the fade after a couple dates is much better than kind of half assing it for a few more dates and end up a month or two later like he never plans anything, he’s a jerk, etc.
      Keep at it!

    • Yep, better to learn now than a month or two later he’s not into you.

    • special_k

      Please try not to be so hard on yourself! If you had two really fun dates then it doesn’t sound like you need to get anything through your thick skull. He was probably giving you signs that he was having fun, too, and was interested. And for whatever reason, a reason that may have nothing to do with you, he dropped off contact. I know that it sucks–seriously, just went through this last week and it SUCKS!–but you just have to figure out a way to come to peace with the lingering questions in your head and move forward. Onward!

      • +1 to this. And I would amplify the statement that this may not (and probably doesn’t) have anything to do with you.

    • Re: your rant- this happened to me SO many times and it sucked every time. I feel your pain. A few things that I found helpful to keep in mind — a lot of people are not necessarily looking for a relationship. You could be amazingly hot/funny/smart/fun etc. and it still wouldn’t be enough for some people because what they want is not aligned with what you want. And some people are looking for someone very specific — they could have a thing for blondes and you’re a brunette. In other words, it truly may be nothing about YOU whatsoever, and solely about them. There’s no way to know and you’ll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out, so try not to take it too personally, although that is much easier said than done.

      The other thing is that it’s not supposed to be easy to find “the one” (or even someone for a good relationship, long term or not). If it were, it wouldn’t be so special! It takes a lot of slogging through a lot of people. It doesn’t make the process suck any less, but sometimes it helps to remember that it really isn’t supposed to be easy and that it’s okay that it’s hard.

      And finally: sometimes the greatest gift is not getting what you want. I dated someone I was head over heels for and was SURE we were supposed to get married. When we broke up, I was devastated- I told myself maybe it was for the better but I didn’t really believe it. Fast forward two years, I found someone who is so much better for me, by such a wide margin, that it’s almost laughable. I’m so thankful that previous relationship didn’t work out!! It may be hard to believe right now, but I bet you will find someone awesome who recognizes how awesome you are, and it will be MUCH better than this guy who faded on you.

      Good luck!! 🙂

    • Thank goodness for friends! I’m consoling a friend right now who’s dealt with two fade-outs after “great” dates. It’s always nice to dish with your friends about all your dating flops and you realize that you’re not alone, and it’s an epidemic that we cannot control.

      • thanks for the affirmations! Much needed to make sure I put that phone down and stop checking it. He knows where to find me and I should stop trying to find an explanation.

        • Yup. Been there. There right now. Keep yourself busy and enjoy company with your friends. That’s what I”m doing to keep my mind off all the not so great experiences.

  • Rant: Having NOTHING to do with your young child in snowy weather. I feel SO bad, like “hey, lets go to Giant! It’s open and NOT our home!” If/when we open our indoor play space, it’ll DEFINITELY be open during snow days.
    Rave: Having a spouse that shovels. Whew!
    Rant: Having a spouse with a different expectations for selling a piece of real estate. I’m much more realistic and would rather price our place at slightly lower expectation so we get more interest than the opposite. I could tell tell that he wasn’t pleased, but it’s the better strategy.
    Question: If anyone has a commercial real estate agent they recommend, PLEASE share contact info….I don’t know where to start with that.

    • What about a snowy playground trip? Or just walking around in boots in the snow? We visited a neighborhood friend in the morning & then took a trip to Target in the afternoon. It can be tricky, though.

      • We went to Giant but the snow was coming down too much – if there’s just snow on the ground, it’s better (go for walks), but he’s too young to enjoy the snow or be really steady on the sidewalks. So we watched TV…lol

        • Is he past the stage of putting everything in his mouth? Then go to a hardware store. Lots of bins of things that are interesting to a toddler that can be handled with no damage. Just stay out of the chainsaw aisle.

        • Not sure I understand the limitation, here. Just dress them in snow pants and plop them in the snow. Bath toys or kitchen stuff are fine in the snow. 30 minutes of cold play is like 2 hours of indoor play, as well, which is a nice benefit.

          • Sounds like you either don’t have a kid or have an older kid.

            newly 16 month old doesn’t like touching the snow. So when snow is falling on them, it’s not pleasing, and he vocalizes his displeasure. I wouldn’t allow my 16 month old to play in the snow for 30 minutes.

    • This is why we invest in snow pants, waterproof ski gloves and proper snow boots every winter no matter how quick they grow out of them. A little sled with a rope pull and you can wear them out properly on the tiniest hill.

    • I didn’t check–was the library open? If so, that’s a great option. Lots of books & the children’s area has space to run around. I like the little sled idea from below as well, but it’s tricky if your little guy doesn’t like the snow falling on him.

  • Rave: Snow day, and the many neighbors who cleared their sidewalk last night. It made my walk to the metro last night sooo pretty and not very messy!
    Rave: New brownie concoction – added in some coffee. Batter turned out dry, but brownies look nice and fudgey.
    Rave: Boy was cuddly last night – just what I needed all week 🙂
    Rave: Friday, friend’s engagement party this weekend, and otherwise lazy weekend.
    Rant: Starbucks was out of croissants. I miss my breakfast food 🙁

    • I remember my real rant now: It took 3 trains to go from Arlington to Farragut. Really? We were packed in like sardines the whole.damn.time. And I got separated from Boy, elbowed in the face by an asshat who didn’t apologize, and the escalator at FW STILL isn’t fixed (although it looks close).

  • Rant: People really do get offended when my dog doesn’t want to play with their dogs. He loves to play with other calm dogs but if the dog has a lot of energy and is in his face, he tries to hide. This has officially offended two neighbors.
    Rave: No concrete plans this weekend. Time to catch up on housework and read.
    Rave: Looks like I won’t be confined to the treadmill for long with the upcoming temps!
    Rave: Taking a quick business trip to NYC next week while my dad is up there for work. Looking forward to grabbing dinner with him in our favorite city.

    • Really? People get offended that your dog doesn’t want to play? That’s ridiculous. I’m sorry. 🙁

      • Thank you! I agree that it’s ridiculous. I think they think that I’m an over protective dog owner but I think it’s pretty clear that my dog is not having it. 🙂

    • epric002

      lots of people have an unreasonable expectation that every dog should like every other dog, and that’s just not possible. grouchy corgi is perfectly fine if the other dog ignores her, but if they’re all up in her business she gets defensive. formerly foster puppy is perfectly fine playing around/near other dogs, but does NOT want to wrestle with them. dogs have different personalities and preferences just like people do, and if we don’t respect those preferences then bad things involving sharp teeth can happen.

      • Couldn’t agree with you more. For now, my dog is just fearful when other dogs are in his face but I do tell the owners that he is afraid of other dogs, doesn’t like other dogs, etc. to alert them because I’m sure it wouldn’t take much for that fear to turn into aggression if he was pushed. This happens with one neighbor at least once a week and she never tries to restrain her dog. So frustrating.

        • epric002

          dogs are not meant to greet each other face to face- it’s not natural for them but we tend to force that type of interaction b/c dogs are so often leashed. they much prefer to have the space to evaluate each other and give body signals about whether or not they’d like to meet, which is usually side by side/face to butt. face to face is confrontational for dogs.
          i know how frustrating it can be w/people who don’t know what it’s like to have a reactive/fearful/whatever kind of dog, though i do try and remind myself that before i had one, i didn’t really “get it” either.
          can you try using stronger language? i know that when we describe grouchy corgi as “not liking” other dogs people minimize it and will still want to try a dog intro. don’t be afraid to use escalated language (reactive, defensive, aggressive, whatever) in order to prevent the situations that you *know* are stressful for your dog, and just turn around and leave the situation if you need to. i am totally that person that will do an about face w/my dogs if i realize that we’ll be head-to-head with another leashed dog. good luck!

          • You’re right, I do need to start using stronger language. Especially with the person who doesn’t even try to hold her dog back.

            I don’t have much of a problem on the sidewalk, it’s more of an issue in the lobby of our building or the courtyard to get to the sidewalk. Plenty of room to keep the dogs apart but it’s still a problem!

      • totally. Our dog isn’t in to many dogs and definitely doesn’t like high energy dogs. It’s like “I’m clearly trying to get away from you and your dog with my girl, why are you pushing it? She’s just not that in to you!”

    • hammers

      haha maybe your dog is filtering out wierd humans for you. Who could possibly be offended by that?

  • Rave: This kid…..I’m dyin’
    huffingtonpost. com/2015/03/06/liam-scholes-student-sent-home-christian-grey_n_6815770. html

  • Rant: Roof leak

    Double rant: When my guys cut open the ceiling to find the cause of the roof leak, they discovered the middle of three truss beams balanced about 1/4 inch upon a pile of loose bricks. Stupid flippers – who I didn’t even think were flippers – the house got “renovated” in some kind of govt. program in the 90’s.

  • Rant: I realized I officially don’t like where I live. I no longer feel like the cost of living in DC is worth it. The disgusting winter weather. Impossible to buy anything on the market. I can’t move or I won’t have a job anywhere else.
    Rave: I had $150 leftover from last month’s paycheck when I got my new pay!
    Rant: I realize that everything that is wrong with DC and life in general is really that I’m a miserable and sad person and I can’t do anything about it.
    Rave: It’s FRIDAY!

    • Other people have mentioned success seeing a therapist or getting medicine for some depression related issues. Have you looked into this at all? I don’t think hating crappy winter planning in DC is too out of the ordinary. i’m with you. Cost of living here, also with you. I’m sorry you’re in the dumps right now. Hope things improve.

    • I go through this periodically, but I realize that there a lot good things about living in DC too. In terms of purchasing a home, there are affordable home buying opportunities in DC and also income-based homes to purchase in some desirable neighborhoods. You have to do the leg work, but the options exist. I second Anon Spock. I have also had success seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. You might want to consider that.

    • hammers

      I hated DC for years. I moved to a new neighborhood and feel much happier there. The people you are with can also have a big impact on how you feel about a place. If you really feel like you can’t move or you wont have a job, good luck figuring it out.

      • I Dont Get It

        I hated DC for adn even once tried to sell my house and got 0 offers. Then one day I realized I loved it!

  • PoPvillagers, can I ask for your help with a conundrum?
    So in December 2013, my brother and his wife announced that they were coming to stay with me and my then-new husband in our two-bedroom apartment with their two small kids for a week over Christmas. I protested, but ultimately ended up letting myself be strong-armed into saying yes because they wouldn’t relent. My husband was very unhappy with the arrangement, butI decided to suck it up for the sake of some kind of family peace.
    Fast forward to day 3 1/2, Christmas Day, after I had cooked a dinner for 10 people by myself without so much as a thank you. I was in a grouchy mood after doing millions of dishes and with people bouncing off the walls. No one was making a move to help me or get out of the house. I was -done- and I showed it. Not by yelling. Just by being obviously frustrated and annoyed. At this point, my brother leaves with his family and I get an email from my sister and law, admonishing me for being such an ungracious host and demanding an apology. (Because they had hosted me and my husband in their 5-bedroom suburban house multiple weekends in the past). They got a hotel I haven’t spoken to her since then and I’ve barely spoken to my brother.
    I just found out, through Facebook, that they’re planning to visit here this April. I really don’t know if I should reach out to them or not to try to at least establish some contact. On the one hand, they’re big bullies and they treat me like crap. On the other hand, they’re family and my family is small and fractured. Any advice out there?

    • Reach out only if you see a real resolution being possible. I don’t mean sister in law still demanding an apology and not seeing the difference in circumstances+lack of help being a big cause of the issues. For the help, where was hubby in all this? I think he was 1 of the 10 ppl yet you said you had to do it all alone. That doesn’t seem very fair either. I think explaining the situation: I was overwhelmed doing it all alone, 10 ppl in a 2 bed is different than 10 ppl in a 5 bedroom, etc etc could be helpful, but I don’t like dealing with bullies.

    • hammers

      I think you should reach out to them and try to mend things. Maybe agree to meet for dinner, and do not invite them to stay with you. This sounds like a family squabble that is rooted in fixable problems; admitting you are both at fault and expressing desire to move on while avoiding putting yourselves in the situation that created the initial tension could mean that you manage to maintain family bonds while not feeling like you are taken advantage of.

    • I would get in touch, say you’re sorry that you lost it that last time they were here, and that you’d like to see them when they come visit (though not in your apartment for a week). As far as what happened the last time they were here, sounds like everyone was somewhat at fault – but it kind of doesn’t matter, it’s already happened and you can’t rewind. But I would say if you are holding a grudge and you can’t let it go then maybe don’t get in touch – if you need an apology first to move forward with them then you might be out of luck.

      • I, personally, I think people who post to Facebook are looking for undue attention and gratification that they cannot find anywhere else, but with that being said…I would reach out with a small note of the imposing houseguest abiding by YOUR house rules since you are the ones living and footing the costs. Also, make it very crystal clear that the bullying and bombardment will not, will not whatsoever be tolerated (give a few obvious examples of bullying in past stay overs). Also, remind your relatives that they are part of a family, your private family and posting publicly does not help anyone including they themselves when trying to show and demonstrate family love.
        Strongly suggest that they move on and forward past bad mishaps in the past and that you will too in order to make today and future visits more loving, cohesive and peaceful.
        Talk it out calmly, show no emotion and let them know how you feel in fair, hearing all sides out kind of way.

        • By the way, I should clarify that by “here,” I mean DC, not my house. They haven’t reached out to me to stay with us (and we have even less space now than we did then, so there is no way they would stay with us this time.) That said, I really like your advice, especially in the last two paragraphs.

    • Get them a separate apt. nearby through Homeaway.com or VRBO.com! Or Airbnb – though they charge the guest an extra 12% so it is often more expensive than VRBO – but since the best places are probably already booked for April – Airbnb might be your only chance.

      I rent out an apt. in my home on VRBO and often get visiting families. I’m sure I’ve saved many families a pile of stress!

      Also – consider different ways of dealing with unhelpful visitors. Lots of dishes to wash? Go ask SIL directly to help. Need help peeling potatoes? Chopping things? Ask specifically for help.

      If they are seriously totally clueless – simply don’t shop or cook. Tell them where the grocery store is, give them some delivery menus. Put out a box of Cheerios for breakfast, have sandwich things available and leave it at that.

      • They’re totally on their own this time, although I should have thought of this last time around. Interestingly, they were totally absent when it was time to prep Christmas Eve dinner 2013.

      • Accountering


        Your argument about AirBNB holds even more weight, as they are collecting DC Occupancy tax effective 02/15/2015. That is an ADDITIONAL 14.5%.

        I think your other point makes sense too. AirBNB or Homeaway is a no brainer in this case.

      • Accountering

        I was going to offer either of my places for them to stay, but frankly, they sound miserable, and I am all booked up in April anyways 🙂

    • Funny that the three of you have advice that seems to directly contradict each other. I guess this really is a conundrum.

    • Andie302

      I have follow-up questions. Do you think they are planning to stay with you in April? Are they coming to DC for any reason other than a visit with your family? Was this a passive-aggresive public heads up, or is it possible they’ve planned an independent trip? If it’s the former, I wouldn’t be inclined to reach out based on your experience and how far apart you seem to be with what went wrong (vs what it sounds like your SIL thinks went wrong). If it’s the latter, I would consider inviting them out for a meal somewhere neutral to start to mend things. I don’t think, after your last experience, that you should invite them into your home as guests, at least not for more than one night.

      • I -just- mentioned above that they are planning their own, independent trip with no intention to see us or reach out to us. They’re coming here because they like DC a lot and used to come here 4 times a year. I don’t think the FB posting was passive-aggressive, really — it was in response to my other SIL (unrelated to either my brother or his wife) asking when they’d be in DC next. (That’s a matter for a whole other post.)
        I’m thinking of inviting them out for a meal on neutral turf, if only because I really miss my nieces. But definitely not to our home.

    • Don’t. You’re still bitter and angry about Christmas 2013. Don’t reach out until your family feeling outweighs your anger. You have to be willing to take MORE crap in exchange for having a relationship. You’re not ready.

      • I’m definitely not ready. But this was well over a year ago. At some point, shouldn’t I just try to let it go and more forward?

        • Maybe — but if you’re not ready, you’re not ready.

        • hammers

          I agree with this- but I also think that its family, and you never really know what could happen. This might sound preachy but think of what the children might be learning from this incident? That a disagreement should keep you from talking and working things out with your own family for years? It doesnt sound like your family intended to be malicious, they are just piss-poor houseguests. There are lots of people I love but I would never want to live with, and that is ok. Holidays make everyone stressed out. It is 100% understandable where you are coming from and why you were upset, and I would be very defensive and angry if someone sent me that kind of letter, but we all suck sometimes . It sounds like you want to avoid conflict, but by avoiding it, you have really greated an ingrained one. It isn’t too late but someday it might be. I would at least try to broach the subject and let them know you are willing to talk and move on, then let them have the ball in their court for a while.

          • This is great advice, Hammers, and spot on. Thank you. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to hash this out — maybe a card? — but do think there’s something to be said for trying to make it work, if only as an example for the girls.

    • I think you posted about this situation a while back, right? I don’t think you did anything wrong — OK, maybe you were obviously sulking and that wasn’t great, but it sounds like they basically invited themselves over and wouldn’t take “no” for an answer, and weren’t good guests.
      If they always treat you poorly, then I don’t think “they’re family” is much of a reason to reach out to them. If they reach out to you, maybe it’s worthwhile to meet up for lunch or something — but don’t let them bully you into hosting you again, and (maybe most importantly) don’t let them manipulate you into feeling guilty when they were the ones at fault.

      • And you don’t actually enjoy their company, right? You just feel obligated/guilty? Unless they have some redeeming characteristics, I don’t think you should sign yourself up for more abuse from them.

        • As usual, you have the advice I most want to hear. I think it was the same the last time I posted about this.
          I definitely would not reach out because I enjoy their company — I truly don’t. They are bullies in so many ways and treat me like crap. I imagine they don’t like me much either and have mostly made peace with that, but there is the pull of them being family. I don’t want to have an actively antagonistic relationship, if possible.
          I actually did reach out to my brother a few minutes ago, just to acknowledge that I had seen that they were planning a trip and to see if they want to meet up. If they don’t reply, or if they say no, I’d be fine with that. I almost hope they don’t. If they do, I’ll see them quickly and be pleasant but will not go out of my way to accommodate them.

          • That was generous of you to reach out to your brother. You are kinder to them than they deserve. Don’t let them take advantage of your generosity of spirit.

          • Just an idea: if you like your nieces way more than you do your brother and SIL, perhaps you could ask if you could take them for an afternoon? Lunch and then a DC outing? This would give you some access to the little ones without having to deal with the bullies.

          • hammers

            as per usual my advice was given without all the details. you don’t have to like your family, I just thought this was bothering you.

          • Hammers, I like your advice a lot too! Sorry I didn’t say that above.

          • artemis, that would be ideal, wouldn’t it?

          • I Dont Get It

            I was coming here to say what artemis said, maybe Mom and Dad would enjoy a date night in DC at a great restaurant while you babysit your nieces?

          • hammers

            I like the idea of hanging out with the just girls in the future, but I think without airing the greviances it might seem like a big snub to the parents. I would handle this situation by writing an email to my brother (or SIL if the brother isn’t the one the “beef” is really with) saying something along the lines of: I’m sorry for how things have been between us in the last year; the last time you visited I was overwhelmed by the holidays and I didn’t handle it well; I’m sorry for making you feel unwelcome in my home; in the future I will try to tell you how I am feeling before getting upset. I’d like for us to have a cordial relationship and I’d love to be in my neices lives. I know you are coming to DC soon, I’d like to see you all for breakfast, or at the very least take the girls to a museum while the two of you get some R&R. I’m a fan of emails for this kind of thing, because it seems weird to put in a card and phonecalls can get unweildy but it’s your family and I think whatever approach you chose will be the right one.

        • Yes, that’s her. And funny enough, SIL 1 and SIL 2 are now planning to hang out the next time SIL is in DC. How fun is that?

        • Also, I’m realizing I didn’t take the great advice from that thread, which was to say sorry to SIL 1. I’ve been looking for the right opportunity to do that ever since, but email doesn’t seem to be ideal and I haven’t seen her. I’d welcome advice on that too.

          • My advice on that thread was to say sorry to the sister-in-law even though you hadn’t done anything wrong (“Maybe you could initiate a conversation with her saying that you’re sorry that things didn’t go smoothly last Christmas, that things were a tight squeeze, etc., but that you value your connection with your brother, her, and their kids, and you’d like to be in closer touch?”).
            But with this additional info, I’m not sure I still recommend that. If you don’t enjoy their company, what do you gain from a rapprochement? Are the kids really appealing? (Because the parents sure don’t sound like they are.)

          • Andie302

            I would say a hand-written card might be good. It shows extra thought/effort, but since it’s not in person you won’t have to be there for any (unexpected/flaky/unappealing/or even just neutral) reaction.

          • What are you apologizing for? It sounds like SIL took advantage of your kindness and bulldozed her way into your home, was a poor guest who didn’t offer to help with things while she was there, left your house in a huff when she (I assume) didn’t feel like you were acting how she wanted you to act, and then had the balls to demand an apology from you. If anything, she should apologize to you. But that’s irrelevant because you can’t control other people and you shouldn’t bother trying, all that will do is drain you emotionally.

            My thoughts? You’ve reached out to your brother and said you’d like to hang out. Good for you, that’s the right thing to do. If you do hang out, don’t go in with expectations either way other than plan to be cordial to your SIL and brother, enjoy visiting with your nieces, and have a good time yourself. If things go well, that’s awesome. If things go badly, just say “well it’s been great seeing you but now I have to go [wash my hair, attend an emergency work meeting, work on my sculpture, give a speech, etc., etc.]” and leave. If they don’t accept your invite to hang out, that’s on them.

            Good luck!

          • Just now noticing the “I really miss my nieces” from earlier. If you miss them, then maybe it’s worth trying a rapprochement… but be careful if the BS from the brother/SIL starts to outweigh the pleasure of time with the nieces.

          • My (admittedly Stockholm Syndrome-like) take on the parents is that they are both well-meaning, but small minded people. They believe that you’re either with them or against them and over time, as the circle of people included in “them” has gotten smaller, they’ve dealt with it by become more defensive and insular, and more convinced that they’re (always) in he right. In some ways, I feel like I should, as a sister, try to help with that somehow, but it’s hard to do that since they make me regret it each time I do. So I think we’re at a bit of a stalemate for now.

          • Megan, funny you should use the word “bulldozer” — that’s what I call SIL #1. Your interpretation is the same as mine, although I get the sense that some others here don’t agree.

          • Agreed with Megan — you didn’t do anything wrong. So any “sorry” on your part would be of the smoothing-things-over type — sort of a “Sorry you felt that way” (although genuinely meant, rather than the dismissive way in which “Sorry you feel that way” is often lobbed).
            I think forging a closer relationship with your brother and his wife might be a lost cause, and if you keep hoping for it, you’ll just end up disappointed, again and again. Maybe just accept it for what it is, and seize the opportunity to spend quality time with your nieces without their parents when possible.

        • Accountering

          This may be your best searching of long-ago posts I have ever seen. I continue to be impressed!

    • Thanks to everyone who posted such great advice — there is so, so much good advice here, and I really appreciate everyone’s comments. I actually just wrote my brother again and said that I could spend time with the girls if he and his wife aren’t ready to see me, but that I think we should try to not be embattled anymore. I acknowledged that their last visit wasn’t good, and said that I think we all feel badly about that. I closed by saying that I’d really like to learn from that experience and move on. I really hope that does that trick. Special kudos to Textdoc and Hammers who as usual got it extra right.

      • Sounds good. I still think you’re being kinder and more charitable than your brother and SIL deserve — just make sure they don’t use it to manipulate/guilt you.

        • They most definitely will try to use it for some form of manipulation/guilting. But the main lesson I learned from the December 13 debacle is that I don’t have to take it. If I have any other questions, I know I’ll come back here for answers.

      • hammers

        bravo, you have used grace to deal with a tricky situation. best of luck (also I had just written out a very long repsonse that got lost in the interwebs that basically suggests what you just said)

        • I -think- I saw it and if it’s the post I’m thinking of, it’s the one that prompted me to write that letter.

          • hammers

            it did post. I’m glad I could help in some way. I hope things work out for you and your neices!

      • I hope your brother is responsive to your efforts to reach out. Good luck.

      • There are many reasons why conflicts happen, and why they persist. In this case, I think you might consult a great book called “Difficult Conversations” (http://www.amazon.com/Difficult-Conversations-Discuss-What-Matters/dp/0143118447) which describes a really effective way of communicating on this stuff. First, acknowledge the problem (“We’ve not been in touch since your last visit to Washington, which makes me sad, as I miss feeling connected to you, my brother and your girls.”) Second, own your part in the conflict (“I apologize that our last visit was tough, and that there was a few moments that I was frustrated”). Finally, explain what you experienced and ask for clarification (“I felt burdened by the close quarters, and hurt that neither you or [Brother] seemed appreciative or inclined to help. I worked really hard to make you guys feel welcome and when I got your follow-up note, it really hurt my feelings, but I don’t want to stay out of touch. Perhaps you can help me understand what happened from your perspective and we can move forward and get together on your next trip.”)

      • Late to this party, and I’m a little bit of an outlier in my opinion, I guess. It sounds like there’s plenty of blame to go around in connection with the last visit. They are rude and pushy for inviting themselves and insisting on staying with you. But you let them come (and that’s on you – you agreed to the situation) and then by your own admission were not gracious about it (and that’s on you as well). If it were me and I really wanted to start repairing the relationship, I’d apologize for my behavior. Even if you just want to open the door to cordial relationships down the road, an apology is a good place to start. If you don’t want to take the first step, that’s fair enough – it does sound like your SIL in particular is a PITA, and I don’t mean to suggest otherwise. But, the longer this stands, the more entrenched everyone will become, and that will endanger your relationship with your nieces. I vote for starting the apology train, even if it is insincere and you have to choke it out.

        • Point taken, but I would like to make it clear that I never agreed that they could stay with us. At a certain point, after calmly laying out an argument for why 6 people in a 2-br apartment for 7 days was a bad idea, I just stopped fighting it and tried to make the best of it. But after 3 1/2 days of bad behavior on their part, I had enough enough of putting up and shutting up.

          • Also, I didn’t mention this before, but she informed me they were coming by text message on a Friday afternoon the week I had started a new job, so I wasn’t in a good position to debate this with her fully then, Either this timing was intentional, when she thought I was too weak or indisposed to say no, or she didn’t care at all when she found out this was the case. I’m getting upset again just thinking about it.

          • Your sister-in-law sounds like the kind of boundary-ignoring, steamroller-type person who interprets anything short of an outright “no” as a “yes” and who, when confronted with an outright “no,” will do her best to wear you down into submission/acquiescence.
            If she pulls this again (or does something similar), do your best to stand up to her and make it clear that your “no” is final and you aren’t going to discuss it further. If you haven’t read Gavin de Becker’s “The Gift of Fear,” it has some discussion on what to do with people who won’t take “no” for an answer.

    • Growing up my aunt was a holier then thou piece of work. She would find fault with anything being passive aggressive or just a bully. She was my moms sister in law married to her brother. My mom loved her brother and loved his kids like they were her own. When you put boundaries up like saying “I’ll talk with my husband” when they want to come stay your just giving the enemy ammunition. People like that have no boundaries. They will use that against you. I am a firm believer in saying “no” with zero explanation because they don’t hear the no all they hear are things you can change to accommodate them. Easier said then done. It’s family and not some customer so maybe make it a little more personal like “I’m going through some things right now and it’s not a good time. Please respect that.”. Really what I want to say is ditch the sorry family members and never look back for your own sake but her kids might want to know they have family that loves them. My mom created a relationship with her nieces based on her own terms. She really made it about the kids and the rest of the family stuff was just a sideshow that she pretended not to notice. “I’d love to take the kids for a day so you two can have a quiet night and I really miss your sweet kids.” Or “(husband) and would really love to take you all to dinner.” if they protest or start getting weird “oh well next time then. I was really looking forward to seeing you all.”. Your SIL is not going to get any better and she will probably get worse. My mom has a wonderful relationship with all her nieces in their adult life now who have thanked her for being the better person and for being a beacon of sanity in an otherwise crappy situation. It’s not worth your personal sanity if things get too far off track. I have a brother I would kill for, a couple of cousins that I like and some lifelong friends I consider family. They are not going to change so you have to change yourself or the circumstances. Be happy.

  • hammers

    Rant: No pedestrian path through the muck on either side of the crossing at GA and NH.
    Rant: Been feeling really off lately- dealing with some anxiety and lonliness; being cooped up sick isn’t helping
    Not really feeling any raves right now but it’s all good.

  • Rant: the Exxon at Porter and Connecticut simply refuses to shovel their sidewalks.
    Rant: I thiiiiink I have specific plans tonight but I cannot find any evidence of such. No idea.
    Rave: Tag Cloud and Anduin at Pyramid Atlantic tomorrow night!
    Rave: the show Hello Ladies.

  • Quotia Zelda

    Rave: Thank god I’m working from home today.
    Rave: And getting lots done.
    Rave: The delightful Mr. Zelda braved the elements last night to fetch Popeye’s for supper. I foresee red beans and rice for lunch.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: Wiccan Dog Sitter is going to have a houseguest in two weeks and
    Rave: There may be a romantic interest so maybe I can marry him off and get him out of my house so
    Rave: I bought him a cool new comforter and sheets for the potential honey trap bed.

    • Ally

      I’m sure someone has already noted this, but Wiccan Dog Sitter would be the best bad jam band name ever. Loving the honey-trap sheets!

    • New comforter and sheets? I hope the comforter is machine-washable, in case WDS has another sex/vomiting episode.

  • Ally

    Rant: Still don’t know our baby’s gender since our ultrasound got snowed out yesterday and will have to be rescheduled.
    Rave: The snow was absolutely beautiful and we got some great pictures out and about.

  • Rave (I hope): FIOS being installed today. Maybe I’ll have reliable internet that won’t cut out several times a week.

    Rant: The power box is large and ugly and they could only out it in my bedroom. I just hope I can hide it

    Rant: THe installer left in the middle of the install with no warning. He left my back gate unlocked and wide open (with my house door open, too). I went out to check on how things were going, no Verion in sight – not behind the house, not in the alley, not on the street. So I locked the gate and called. No answer. When he came back, he didn’t say where he’d been, he just groused that I’d locked my back gate. Really? So far Verizon is no better than Comcast re: customer service.

    • Allison

      Heh, I’ll never forget the time my apartment complex in college scheduled pest maintenance without notifying me in advance, as was required. The pest guy showed up, and (not having had any notice that strangers would be in my place) my alarm was set and went off. His response was to leave. Just leave. LEAVING THE DOOR WIDE OPEN. So, my alarm — which is intended to protect the house — had the unintended effect of making my house sit all day with the door wide open.

    • Good luck with the FiOS. When I had it it didn’t work more often than it worked!

    • Don’t get your hopes up too much with Verizon FiOS. It’s been OK with me overall, but worse than my previous experience with Comcast (which wasn’t too bad tbh.) All cable/internet companies have the potential to be good and bad.

  • Andie302

    Rant: Major mouse-related incident at nearly midnight last night. Orkin treated my house when it was rented out, and there was a leftover sticky trap under the fridge. A mouse got on it 🙁 These types of traps break my heart. I went to move one of two other traps from the pantry floor and found two recently-deceased mice. Then, when I pulled out the stove drawer (which I leave empty because of mouse problems in the past), there was another recently deceased one. YIKES!!!! I took the sticky trap outside and buried it in the snow, because I could not bring myself to crush the little guy. Then, when I got in bed last night I could hear more. YUCK! I know it’s cold outside, but this is the kind of house guest that’s unwelcome!
    Rave: There are no more sticky traps in the house now. Just lots of (apparently effective) snap traps, and one shocker with dead batteries that I really should reload.
    Rant: At the office, when I’m not supposed to be
    Rave: but only for a couple hours.
    Rave: Relatively few plans for the weekend
    Rave: Productive doctors appointment this morning, and because I skipped breakfast (for lack of time) and hadn’t had them in awhile, they drew blood for annual labs.

    • As icky as your mouse problems sound, they sound GREAT to me because we cant seem to catch the rest! Got one, but that’s it…and landlord won’t pay for an exterminator. She wants us to spray foam/steel wool up holes by ourselves, nevermind that 1) the mouse/mice are already inside and 2) we aren’t exterminators. Super annoying and scary (don’t want my kid or dog around mouse crap)

  • Rant: 18-month sleep regression. My kid Just. Will. Not. Nap. Kill me now.

    Rant: Sick and without voice. But, I have to work and can’t rest. Again, just kill me now.

    Rave: Friday, but selling our house and so our weekends are packed with packing, trips to storage, and caring for said toddler above. Sigh.

    • Does your kid pitch a fit in the process? If you don’t already, what about leaving books in the crib for the kiddo to look at before falling asleep? We have a TON of books in my daughter’s crib and it totally buys us some time & occupies her before falling asleep. In an act of desperation, we also got a baby einstein crib aquarium thing that she fell in love with, though now she’s totally enchanted with the twilight turtle she found in my room one day (believe it or not, a gift to me from my wife years ago). I totally feel your pain on sleep regressions, though. We haven’t had them for naps yet, but we’ve had some doozies at night. Good luck!

  • Rave: I have a first date tomorrow from OKC. Wish me luck!
    Rave: Going to a show tonight with my friends.
    Rave: Plans to drop by Rose’s Luxury this weekend for dinner. Wish me luck with the wait!
    Rant/Rave: Sorry, everyone but I caved and invited the guy I have been dating for a month to check out a show with me tonight. He said he has plans later that night to go to another show but will go out with me once he figures out how he can make both shows. Rant because I promised myself I would wait for him to reach out and I didn’t. Rave because he was responsive and seems to want to find a way to see me tonight and go to another show with his friends. I just cannot read him. Maybe he’s “meh” about me because he doesn’t initiate but still tries to fit me in his schedule when I initiate. Should I just ask him at this point?

    • As someone who was literally forced to read “He’s Just Not That Into You” by friends (and was glad they made me do it), my advice is this: don’t invite him to anything else. If he really is into you, he’s going to contact you. He’ll make the effort. If you’re having to make all the contact, he’s not that into you. Don’t chase the guy- you’re worth more than that!

      • Thank you! I need to be reminded constantly that this is what I need to do. It’s not like I don’t have other options; I just like this option more. It’ll be hard, but I think this is the last time. I need more resolve.

        • Steel yourself! And also be prepared for him to text you at the last minute tonight saying that he’s realized he can’t make it to your show after all.

          • Textdoc: I am almost 100% sure that’s gonna happen. I’ll be with friends, so it’s like whatever. Then I’ll just sit and wait and date other guys. So it goes.

          • Or, text her at the last minute and ask if she’s still out. If she says nope, he’ll ask to come over.

          • msus: ugh. sad but probably true. stay tuned for next week’s installment of LA’s dating fails.

        • hammers

          If you lose your willpower again, I think you can say something like–I’d obviously like to see where this goes, but this is the last time I’m gonna reach out to you to hang out….Then delete the number. I mean you don’t have anything to lose by laying your cards on the table.

          • +1 I like this approach.

          • I might have to add that I’m going to throw away what he left at my place. I said I’d give it back to him when I see him whenever that is. If I never see him, it’s trash. Done.

      • Yep, this is exactly it. Same advice I was seeking. Put yourself first and don’t fall for the one who doesn’t/can’t give you what you deserve. Move on and good luck with the OKC date!

    • I’m a feminist bleeding heart liberal, so it’s not without shame that I recommend reading The Rules. Yes a lot of it is cheesy and borderline offensive. But the takeaway is that you embrace how AWESOME you are and don’t chase guys/wait around for them. It honestly changed my life. So, shame be damned, I recommend it to all my lady friends now 🙂

      • OK – I’m late to this thread and no way can I more than skim though it – but I don’t understand why asking a guy to an event/show or even dinner equals “chase guys/wait around for them.”

        Isn’t this what 50 years of feminism was working for? That either man or woman should feel equally free to initiate something – invite the other person to do something?

        Knowing you’re awesome is great. Learning to recognize a knave or scoundrel is valuable. Recognizing when he’s “just not that into you,” is essential. But hanging back and waiting for a person you’re interested in to make the first move is just dumb. You don’t go to a buffet and wait for what you like to jump onto your plate do you?

        • I absolutely get what you’re saying, and am certainly not suggesting this approach is for everyone- and DEFINITELY not something I’d recommend to a young and impressionable girl. I’d only suggest it for ladies who’ve been on the dating scene a while and are struggling, particularly with the scenario LA described, in which you’ve been out with a guy whose level of interest in you isn’t worth your time. When I say it helps with the “don’t chase guys” thing, I mean guys who you’ve made your interest in known. I 100% think it’s fine for women to make the first move- it’s what comes after the first move that I’m referring to.

          For me, applying this approach made dating significantly less miserable. It put the power back in my hands, though I know to those that haven’t read it, that seems counter-intuitive to the book’s message. You really have to read it to see that side of it. But I found it made dating empowering and fun again, instead of anxiety filled and miserable. And sure enough, I found someone genuinely wonderful once I stopped wasting my time with losers who strung me along with only mild interest. So I stand by it, despite its faults!

          • So you weren’t exactly following “The Rules” per se, but more the idea of “The other party should be making an effort — it shouldn’t be all on me”?
            Or something in between?

  • Andie302

    Random late quick question: Does anyone have a suggestion for nail place in Dupont that I can tip on a card with? I have a regular place, but I don’t have a debit card or any cash on me, and there’s no way I’m going and not tipping!

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