Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user  number7cloud

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

394 Comment

  • Rave: Sons of Anarchy. The final looming question is coming to a head, and I can’t wait to see what happens.

    Rant: Me. I missed a very important fact during my blistering of an anonymous poster yesterday. While I still don’t think that it’s good to lie to or cheat on your partner, the added element of the different genders of the partner and paramour does bring it into a gray area. Berating someone to come clean with his/her partner when that disclosure implicates possible questions about sexual orientation is just wrong, and if I’d read more closely I’d have had an entirely different approach. I apologize.

    • I don’t think the gender of any parties involved changes the nature of the betrayal, and so in my mind doesn’t change the nature of the resolution required.

      • Andie302

        Agree. I thought dcd was pretty dead-on yesterday. It sounded like the OP just wanted to make excuses for keeping person #1 in the dark.

        • I didn’t think they were using that as an excuse.

          • + 1. Gender didn’t come into the discussion until very late into the day. It certainly wasn’t used as an “excuse”.

          • I didn’t see a lot of excuses being made in general. They just didn’t think it was a good idea to bring up a one-time thing that happened a while ago and would only hurt the partner.

          • Andie302

            I never saw the gender thing, but the OP aluded to a longterm illness of person #1, that person #1 wouldn’t be able to handle the information, the OP still loves #1…it seemed like the OP talking themselves into a justification for staying mum instead of sharing their true feelings and indiscretions with someone that they are as good as married to. If they are questioning their sexual identity and don’t want to share that with their partner – fine, don’t out yourself…it doesn’t change the indiscretion or the dishonesty.

          • Severe depression where the person is one step away from suicidal behavior is a good reason not to tell them, IMO.

    • Sons has gotten so ridiculous I have to pretend it’s a comedy when I watch it. But I still watch it, just to see what happens next. I actually hope it ends with Jemma and all of the Sons being killed.

      • I’ve more or less watched every episode of that show, and now I mostly hate watch. Everyone is at best quirky and unrealistic and at worst, loathsome. And the way Jax says “brotha” makes me want to punch someone in the face.

        • The only reason I still watch is to get a resolution to the looming question (trying to not give away any spoilers here). I agree about Jax’s botched pronumciation, but I attribute it to a British actor trying to do NorCal biker gang president.

          • He’s been starring in the show for like 7 years now. You’d think he could get a voice coach to help him with the accent. I don’t understand why every federal law enforcement agency, plus the national guard isn’t in Charming (to respond to the dozens of murders that happen there every week.)

          • One of my coworkers quit watching for this precise reason – in previous seasone they were all aflutter over potential RICO charges – “Oh, no, RICO! How do we avoid RICO?” – while having no compunction about dropping a dozen bodies a week. Premeditated murder? No worries. RICO? The sky is falling!
            Charming does seem to be the most dangerous place in the US, and probably gives most war zones stiff competition.

        • The kid who plays Abel might be the worst child actor in TV history.

    • Could just be someone who’s bi.

    • I agree with your rant re: the sexual orientation gray area. HOWEVER, if the OP is currently in a heterosexual realtionship and cheated with someone of the same sex, that is setting up some potentially huge problems should the current partner find out. I can’t remember where I read it (Carolyn Hax, perhaps), but I remember reading how if someone in a heterosexual realtionship comes out as gay, they have tons of support from the gay community, but the partner that was left behind feels not only betrayed and that the whole relationship was a lie, but no clear community to talk about it with. Obviously the OP has a lot to think about, but if they truly love their partner, they need to tread carefully and think about how this could affect them.

      • Yeah, but it could be the opposite scenario. If someone in a homosexual relationship ends up getting involved with someone of the opposite sex they’re likely to be shunned by the gay community (while the betrayed partner gets lots of support).

    • If we’re going to have social equality among all genders and orientations, there can’t be varying standards of behavior.
      (That’s a general sentiment, in response to dcd’s, since I didn’t follow the conversation in question.)

  • Rave: Lucinda Williams at the Lincoln Theater last night. Great show by a great artist.

    • While I was waiting for the bus a random dude ran across the street to ask me if I wanted his extra ticket. I probably should have said yes!

    • How was Lincoln Theater as a venue? Just realized that two of my old-time favorites will be performing next week & I’m a bit tempted. Though it would require finding a babysitter or going by myself & trading drop-off/pick-up duties with my better half. I’m torn.

      • The Lincoln Theater is great. The sound is quite good as are the site lines. It’s also a lovely space. Most shows are not reserved seating, however, so you do need to get there early enough if you want to be near the stage. I was actually by myself last night, which made it easy to stroll in shortly before the opening act and snag a single seat about 10 rows from the stage.

      • Lincoln Theater is beautiful. Seats are comfy, sound is great. It’s a very civilized concert going experience, everyone has assigned seats and stays in their seats the whole time (at least they did at the show I went to). I would avoid the balcony seating.

  • rant: hotel a/c is sub arctic temps. hands frozen stiff!! here all day
    rant: uncaffeinated or just plain rude conference goers- interfacing with a ton of strangers isn’t my strong point but I had a horrible anxiety attack last night thinking about having to do a whole nother day of it. people have just been curt or brusque of unappreciative. really strange.
    rant: no good feelings today

  • Rave: I passed my road test! As of yesterday, I am a licensed driver!
    Rant: I don’t think I actually know how to drive yet. If someone asked me to drive from my place to the airport or somewhere, I would panic. I won’t be taking to the road by myself any time soon! Will need to rope some brave friends into helping me practice. Gah.

    • I Dont Get It

      Congrats on being a licensed driver!

    • Congrats! I remember you talking about learning to drive months ago, and it’s awesome news that you’re now a licensed driver.

    • Andie302


    • Congratulations! As a non-driver, it’s always inspiring to hear other holdouts get their licenses.

      • maxwell smart

        As someone who grew up in the Southwest, it’s still baffling to me there are adults who never learned how to drive. Like I get it and understand why, so no disrespect. It’s just strange to my understanding. Like how I can drive through 4 states in 1 hour on the East Coast while in 4 hours in the Southwest I’m luckily if I passed through 1 town.

        • skj84

          I’m a non driving adult. It’s a long story on why I never got my license, but it ultimately came down to the fact that I live in an area with great public transportation options. It’s not always easy, but it works for me. Also I think I’d be a lousy driver. It’s the Maryland in me. 😉

    • leftcoastsouthpaw

      Congratulations! Do you have a driving instructor you would recommend?

      • I got my learner’s permit while I was living in VA and never switched it over, so my driving instructor/road test was also in VA. I used NOVA Driving School and really liked them — the instructor was really patient and encouraging and dealt with my driving anxiety very well. Ha.

    • Thanks, y’all!

    • Congrats! To build up your confidence, maybe have someone drive you out to the country for an afternoon and then you take the wheel. Quiet country roads might be a little less anxiety inducing. Just mind the animals rather than pedestrians!

  • Rave: La Boheme tonight at the Kennedy Center – very excited to go. But now, what to wear?!

    Rant: Tyronne the Rat is back at it. Finally brought out the big guns with traps and such – we’ll see what happens.

    Rave: Seeing my husband MacGyver a barricade to keep Tyronne out…it was like a child’s fort construction. And this man has a civil engineering degree!

    Rant: 7AM conference call with no tea.

    Rave: Sweet sweet caramel tea. Yum.

    • The theater was freezing when I saw La Boheme last Friday (I guess they wanted to audience to experience the cold that the characters felt?) so I’d recommend bringing something warm just in case!

    • pablo .raw

      You may or may not know that there’s a person who usually comments on the RRRR that performs on that show.

      • I didn’t know – thanks for telling me! Ohhh now that’s super exciting! I’m listening to Andrea Bocelli in La Boheme now to prep myself.

        • pablo .raw

          In my opinion, Bocelli is not a great voice for opera; my favorite is Carlo Bergonzi or young Jose Carreras. But that is just my opinion 😉

          • My opera education starts now ;-). Bocelli came up first when I went to youtube the full opera so I could “pre-game”. Will check out the other two!

          • IMO the Rodolfo in the WNO production had a weak voice. Maybe it’s better to stick with the Bocelli so she won’t be disappointed in comparison.

          • Looks like the Rodolfo (Alexey Dolgov) tonight is different from the Rodolfo from last Friday (Saimir Pirgu) so perhaps he’s better? To be honest, I know next to nothing about opera except how to be impressed. So I’m just looking forward to the whole experience! Should i worry about any particular dress code?

          • You can often watch NY Metropolitan Opera (and other) productions at movie theaters. I’m going to see Barber of Seville in a few weeks! Met price = small used car, probably. Movie theater price = $25.
            It’s through Fathom Events. Check it out!

          • pablo .raw

            I admire tenors because they have to work really hard to put those high notes out there on top of an orchestra playing and sometimes a choir; doesn’t mean they are necessarily weak 🙂 but there are powerful tenors like Mario del Monaco that in my opinion don’t sing as pretty as other less potent tenors.

          • The library has a downloadable audiobook called The History of Opera that I used to pregame. It’s a really good introduction if you’re serious about expanding your opera knowledge.
            Fun fact from the audiobook: Puccini and another composer were in competition writing opera adaptations of La Boheme (originally a novel) at the same time. Puccini’s ultimately became the more popular one.

    • skj84

      Coming in late, but this is the show i’m in! It’s such a beautiful production. I hope you enjoy it tonight!

  • rant: year-end reviews and self-assessments .I need to give feedback on 14 people, sweet baby Jesus fourteen!!! And some of the feedback isn’t 100% positive, I’m really struggling on how to be truthful yet kind. All I really want to say is “you’re not nearly as smart as you think you are and stop acting like you’re the only rooster in the coop.

    • Maybe employ the “shit sandwich”? Something good, something critical, something good? At least it softens the blow. Best of luck with all 14!
      I just had to do my own performance appraisal for a part-time, offsite job where I have worked only 40 hours the whole year. WHY oh why?

    • Askamanager has great advice for things like this. And remember, critical feedback can be incredibly helpful – people need to know how they can improve. As long as it’s coming from a place of, “I want to see you succeed and this is how you can do it…”

    • If you figure out how to graciously impart that “not so smart…” thing on someone, let me know. I think I’m going to need that soon. I think I’m getting saddled with someone with a horrible reputation and that’s a big part of it.

    • I have to do a review for someone who talks too much socially and doesn’t know how to filter (discussing her bodily functions, weekend plans, etc.). I’m trying to balance the feedback with the fact that I’m an introvert and don’t like talking much at work. She really needs the feedback but it’s a small office and I’m need to get the message across without being a total jerk. Ugh.

      • Ugh, those people are the worst. I used to work with someone who would sit in the front office every morning and talk about her pregnancy (including graphic delivery anecdotes) to anyone who would listen. So inappropriate and uncomfortable.

      • pablo .raw

        As a fellow introvert, it’s hard for me to be around people that talk by screaming. At a party recently I was having a conversation with two girls and two really loud guys joined, I bet they type everything in Uppercase.

    • Even if the feedback doesn’t focus totally on strengths, all feedback is positive because it all helps the receiver grow, and actually, growth area feedback is usually way more useful than feedback that only praises. I’ve also found that giving hard feedback improves my relationship with the receiver; if delivered in the right way, putting yourself out there to say something difficult really demonstrates caring and can build trust. If nothing else, giving feedback to people who are perpetually messing up helps my peace of mind because at least I did my part to help fix the problem.

    • The old “you’re not as smart as you think you are” cuts both ways. Your employees may have the exact same view of you, so keep any criticism constructive and free from condescension/judgment.

    • When balancing “truthful” and “kind”, It’s best to err on the side of “truthful”. Many times, being “kind” in performance reviews isn’t kind at all.

      Plus, I’ve found that the people who earn negative feedback generally don’t hear it when it’s given. I fired a guy this summer who claimed to be totally blindsided, despite the very clear written and oral feedback I gave him. I felt a bit better about it knowing that I had worked very hard to convey the issues clearly – and that his failure to “get it” was him and not me.

    • Just as a note, while I think I am pretty good at my job and enjoy getting good reviews, the reviews I’ve appreciated the most have been the ones where I’ve gotten sincere feedback that my manager was giving me to make me better at my job. Sure, it stung at first to hear that I didn’t live up to perfection, but on reflection I usually realized that I wasn’t doing something right and really appreciated helpful tips on how to improve. Sure, I’ve had the odd “I hate you you stink” review, but those weren’t terribly often and I’m now the boss of the boss of the person who gave them to me.

    • thanks for the advice everyone! I really appreciate it!

    • As painful as it is to give negative feedback, keep in mind it is important feedback. A lot of people (myself included) have a tendency to put such a positive angle on negative feedback that the negativity doesn’t come across and the performer doesn’t understand they need to change something. If you’re nervous, find a friend to practice with and ask them to make sure that they understand what they need to improve after the practice.

  • epric002

    rant: after a week of trying to get a not-complicated RX refill, i was forced to schedule an appt for this morning, despite my dr having already previously (verbally) approved the refill. then at 5:03pm yesterday, the practice sends out an email that as of 1 jan they will no longer accept my insurance. so not only do i have to find a new doctor (the worst!) i am stuck with an unnecessary appt with a doctor whose practice no longer wants me as a customer, and it’s too late to cancel. SO ANNOYED. i called as soon as they opened this morning and canceled, and they better not charge me for missing it.
    rave? if i am charged, it will still be less than the copay for the unnecessary appt.
    rant: another nasty nail clipper on metro yesterday morning. WTF people.
    rant: joint calendar doesn’t solve planning conflicts if you don’t put your appts on the calendar. ugh.
    rant: too ranty!

  • Rave: going to the Caps game tomorrow night and hopefully picking up a Winter Classic toque!
    Rave: Food and Friends and Slice of Life. They make it so easy to volunteer, I signed up to hand out pies. I think they’re so great, I’m happy to take an extra day off work to help them out.
    Rant: I emailed about fostering a total goober named Duncan Hines (seriously, how adorable is that name?) and I have not gotten a response. Someone else probably got him, but a reply would be nice :-/
    Rave: New Serial episode!
    Rant: I like last week’s more than this week’s. What are your thoughts, oh addicted ones who also listened to it this morning??
    Andie- thanks for the Abka recommendation! I dropped of my stone yesterday and I’ll have it in a week. That place is super gaudy though, to the point of hilarity. Even the napkin holders are marble. Also, there’s a distillery next door, who knew?

    • Andie302

      So glad Abka worked out! I should’ve mentioned how funny it is inside 🙂 I think the first time I used them I actually walked around the stone yard and knew exactly what I wanted when I entered the building. That helped me ignore the ridiculous displays. I’m not sure the distillery was there when I last visited…it’s been awhile.

    • My quick take on Serial before I run to a meeting is that I stand by the theory I’ve posted here before! I still think Adnan is innocent, that Jay was probably the murderer, and that Jenn knows a lot more than she’s saying. I think Jay’s motive has something to do with keeping Stephanie from finding out that he was cheating.

      I really liked today’s episode and some if its dramatic reveals about Jay, but now I’m just starting to get anxious for the conclusion!

      • It also showed Jen’s inconsistency about the cameras. But, it was 15 years ago, so there’s still a question of how much you remember or how much you remember about your lies 😉

      • I just listened and I don’t know what to think now! I’d been strongly leaning towards believing that Adnan is innocent, but I just don’t know. I do believe that either Adnan did it or Jay did it. When the Innocence Project people were discussing the possibility of another person, that made no sense to me because how else would Jay have known everything he did about the case? He has to be involved in some way either as the perpetrator or as an accessory. Oy!

        • http: // mentalfloss. com /article /60016/ 10-crazy-and-some-not-so-crazy-serial-theories

          I’m totally buying #9 right now (but agree with you — I’m confused and keep flip flopping!).

          • The only reason #9 doesn’t make sense to me is that I think it’s too late in the series for a new “character”. This is as much as crafted narrative as it is a real crime story, and I think it’s unlikely that SK+Co would resort to a deus ex machina.

          • Yeah, given Jay’s knowledge of the crime, he has to be involved in some way, right? Also, if someone random did it, then why would Jay come forward?

          • I forgot to say that I really liked that Mental Floss summary!

            It’s funny — since Deirdre Enright from the Innocence Project talked about “returning the presumption of innocence” to her clients, I can’t stop myself from looking at this case from the angle that Adnan is totally innocent. And if you start from the viewpoint that Adnan is innocent, it’s very easy to start building a case against Jay. I don’t know whether -that- case holds up, but there seems to be more evidence for Jay’s guilt so far than for Adnan’s.

    • Accountering

      I volunteer with Food and Friends as well! Great reminder – I just went and signed up for an evening shift this coming Tuesday. Super cool place! Also, Go Caps! I am so rooting for a bitterly cold and snowy January 1. I am going to be mighty pissed if it is 47* and drizzling.

    • Another Rave because I’m full of them today: Post Points. I know, right? Weird. But all I do is read the Post and answer quizzes and I’m getting a $30 gift card to Calvert Woodley for my troubles.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I need to catch up on Serial so I can quit skipping the discussions!

  • Rave: Took the little one to her first Wizards game last night. She was a such a trooper, and seemed to have a really good time. And the Wizards won!
    Rant: She decided that 5am was an appropriate time to wake up.
    Rave: This week actually went by relatively quickly. Although yesterday was a rough day, I managed to get through it without any real meltdown by anyone in the household.
    Kind of rant: We just started watching American Horror Story for the first time, and I am still having trouble getting into the season. I don’t know if I will watch it next season. Can anyone who watched previous seasons tell me whether or not they were better than this one?

    • First season was AWFUL. Soooo cheesy and confusing. I gave up two minutes into the finale.(You can’t say I didn’t give it a chance lol.) I just couldn’t bear it. Second season was binge-worthy and so creepy!! Haven’t watched the third but planning to. Current season? Gah!! I’m three episodes in and cannot wait to get home to watch more tonight!

    • As far as AHS goes, I’ve liked all the seasons, but the general consensus is that Season Two (Asylum) is the best.
      And I agree! It is awesome. So check that one out, then maybe the others.

  • *Pretty good story
    Rant/Revel?: Finally ran into my ex gf (we dated from jan 2013-july 2013) it ended really really badly…her breaking up with me (with little to no explanation other than she didn’t want to date anyone). So i was going downtown to volunteer on tuesday for vets day and i was running around 16th street to find a bus then ran over to catch the 43 and just missed it on my way back to 16th street i ran into her on the street and she was going down to work…we ended up taking the bus down together and catching up a bit. I am not looking to much into it…it was nice that we were civil and it was good to see her and joke around a bit. Its too bad things are so complicated these days. I know i shouldn’t reach out to her and say it was nice to see you blah blah blah but why do i want to so badly? Is it naive to think that theres no way it could work again? I really don’t know….
    Rant: signed back up for coffeemeetsbagel so i might remove the formerly from my alias

    • Andie302

      What happened with Friday girl? I must’ve missed it!

      • Things have fizzled out she is too busy and tired with graduate schools….shes was a weirdo really (just took me a while to realize because id only see her once a week). She said she wanted to feel like she was my gf after i slept over the one and only time, then didn’t see each other for a week. Refused to take our relationship to the “next level” intimately. Just all around confusing mixed signals…like she wanted to feel like my gf but not actually act like my girl friend. I was wasting my time….

        • Didn’t you have the same complaint about Bar Girl (or maybe a different girl) not wanting to take intimacy to the next level as well? Is it possible you’re rushing things? Or maybe just having trouble communicating to each other what your expectations are/what each of you is comfortable with?

          • Maybe bagel is rushing things, but if a woman says she wants to feel like a gf (also what does that even mean?), then I’d expect that to cover all aspects. Unless we’re the Duggars, that will usually include intimacy. Similarly allowing someone to sleep over without clear expectations (hey, you seem drunk, so I’d rather you not drive, but here is the couch because I’m not ready for physical stuff yet) is just a receipe for disaster. I generally wouldn’t invite someone to my home if I wasn’t comfortable with being intimate if things naturally went in such a direction.

          • well she did say upfront she didn’t want to have sex on our first sleep over, which is fine…i don’t care that much really. we did basically everything else, so i am not sure what the big deal is for her…maybe some moral thing? But like why even say you want to feel like my girl friend when you obviously have some weird intimacy issues and your way to busy to even sustain a relationship to that level. thats what bothered me is she wanted me to treat her like a princess while i get basically nothing (no sex). I can do that and have a lot more fun with my friends that are girls…

          • Bagel- you care enough about no sex to mention it several times in 1 short paragraph. It doesn’t seem like she has any intimacy issues to me. You did everything but have intercourse, and you were warned she wasn’t ready for that just yet. What does treating her like a princess mean? I’d say everything but P in V is a bit more than “basically nothing”. Maybe try the very blunt approach next time: you cannot be treated like my gf until we have intercourse; is that cool with you? Otherwise, be honest with yourself and realize the problem is you and not them if no matter how good things may be or how much you enjoy spending time with the person without P in V fast enough, you’re going to feel left out.

          • I agree….way to much emphasis on intimacy but it was something i was getting mixed signals on and it threw me off….we aren’t going to see each other anymore so its not worth even discussing any details anymore other than the Friday Girl Era is done. Had a few good dates but not ready to start a relationship with her.

    • You get hooked so easily. Are you scare of being alone?

      • Great question!

      • I am not scared of being alone, i just prefer to be with someone

      • Hey, not fair! I think a lot of people are scared to be alone.

        • I am scared to be alone…yet I have been for the past 2 years. Just because you don’t want to be alone doesn’t mean you have to rush into relationships all the time. I need to know it is right first.

        • That doesn’t’ mean every person you meet you have to force a relationship out of it. Also he seems to always want to revisit his exes/past dates. Learn from them work on yourself and when you meet someone that’s on save wavelength you will know.

          • Yes, you are correct but they were two different situations. I am definitely not rushing things…maybe the opposite not being direct enough with what i want. I guess i don’t want to dive too deep into those aspects on popville. I think i am just having bad luck with women recently…friday girl definitely was intimate she just didn’t want sex. Which confused me because she wanted me to treat her like her gf and i thought that was the one distinction between friend and girl friend (generally).

          • I am not forcing things on people…most of the girls i have dated (since my ex) have been from online dating. Two people who go out meet and if they like each other keep going out. I have met a few that i like but over time realized it wouldn’t work for one reason or another. I keep saying maybe i need to slow down, my roommate says i need to just date multiple people and see what sticks. I really don’t know anymore but its exhausting. Ready to take a deep breath before i ask anyone else out…and i really need to address red flags early on instead of thinking things will change

          • Bagel, sorry but friend to gf doesn’t mean sex. Friends with benefits is a thing, remember? I obviously have no idea what it means to her, but if the only distinction you can find between a friend and a gf is sex, then I, don’t mean to be harass here, see why you’re single. A gf is someone I make time for in my busy schedule while friends may get pushed to the backburner. A gf gets invited to important events. A gf is someone I could see a future with (even if things are not there yet). I’m sure there are other distinctions, but those are a few non-sex ones that immediately come to mind.

          • Also I may recommend talking longer before meeting. I am dating someone who I had to wait a week or 10 days to meet, and it’s been great. Talking longer may identify some of those red flags more quickly and save you some time. I am lucky that I can read people fairly easily, so I’ve dodged bullets fairly well.

          • epric002

            oy vey. i’m with anon 1.5 on this one. i’ve tried to avoid the bagelboy dating dramas but holy hell. perhaps the nuance is missing b/c of the internet, but with comments like “…treat her like a princess while i get nothing (no sex)…” and “…i thought that [sex] was the one distinction between friend and girl friend…” i am not at all surprised that you are having dating troubles. and i feel really, really old.

          • Agreed, epric002. There’s a bit of a frat house story swap vibe with this whole situation.

          • sorry that probably didn’t come out right, obviously there is much more to a girl friend then sex (but i was not getting sex from friday girl) and i was not getting the warm fuzzy feeling that you get when you have a girl friend, she didn’t treat me like i was her boy friend so i had a really hard time treating her as my girl friend. Two very different people that just liked each other for no reason…but that is not sustainable. And yeah i probably come off as a bit whiney…but its been a while and this is where my life is at now :/

          • epric002

            formerlybagelboy- how old are you? i’m genuinely curious. also, you are still talking about “getting sex”, like it is something that someone should be providing you. with sex as your focal point, and since you don’t discuss it in a mutual way (i.e., “we weren’t having sex”), it comes across as very immature. call it nit picky- but words mean things. and i don’t understand the confusion about whether you guys were boy/girl friends- did you not just talk about the status of your relationship?

          • I am 26…i agree i am probably not presenting everything is the “most mature way” but this is the internet. For people who have actually paid attention to my rants over the past year or so (i hope they understand more where i am coming from) than people who just see this and a quick to judge. The friday girl era is done so it doesn’t matter anymore why things didn’t work out. They just didn’t, and its not worth over analyzing…my original post was more about seeing my ex girl friend (that i actually had a great relationship with, until i didn’t, but it was still the most real relationship i have had post college).

          • Bagelboy, my suggested assignment to you is to go back and read the four most recent Carolyn Hax live chat transcripts. It’s a good way to see a measured, well explained response to a lot of relationship issues. I am not saying you should agree with all of her responses (I don’t always), but I think that seeing the thought process and getting another perspective would be helpful. Her advice has helped me a lot.

          • epric002

            well, over thinking things doesn’t usually do anyone any good, but it sounds like some serious introspection wouldn’t be the worst thing for you, especially since you seem to genuinely desire a relationship. you know what they say: the only common denominator in all your failed relationships is you. good luck 🙂

          • epric002

            +100 to jeslett’s carolyn hax suggestion. i also don’t always (but very often!) agree with her advice, but her insight/explanations into common relationship problems is excellent. i am a haxphile.

          • anon 1.5: thank you thank you thank you for your post. I never understood men who think the only difference between their friends and girlfriends is “sex”. smh.

      • I do get hooked easily because i see possibilities (hopeless romantic). I think iv seen moonrise kingdom one to many times

    • Re: your ex: don’t do it. You say you are not looking too much into it but you are. Or, you’re young. Do it. Get hurt. Learn not to do it again. It won’t work out. There are plenty of better fish in the sea.

    • If it ended really, really badly the first time, what good do you think would come of trying to pursue her again?

      • +1. Plus, if you haven’t seen her in over a year you have no clue what’s going on in her life, and vice versa. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I say get back with her, but I say this selfishly. I want the stories. Doing what is right and healthy for you is probably not getting back with her. I’ll be happy with coffee/bagel stories 🙂

      • I appreciate your perspective on this. 😀

        • right? sometimes i feel like my dating life is all about the stories! I need a few good ones though so I will take my run in with the ex for what it was, and go on with my life…i am optimistic 🙂

          • I’d just caution you, though, that’s entirely within the realm of possibility that your dates may wander through here, see your stories, and put 2 and 2 together. Even as (relatively) anonymous as this setting is, I’d be mortified if I came across the person I was dating talking about what happened last night, and I’d be quick to put the kibosh on that pairing.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Hush up NeverNotAnonymous! It would be awesome viewing if one of his dates gave her side of the story. We should get his roommate on here…
        BagelBoy, I enjoy your adventures, thanks for sharing them. Sorry it’s always not as fun for you.

  • dcd, One advantage of posting here is that it offers a chance to get feedback from a wide variety of perspectives. From the perspective of the partner who has been left in the dark re: lying and cheating, your “gray area” is something that I would view as being extremely critical information that the partner should know. To suggest that it’s okay for someone in a sexual relationship to deliberately fail to disclose their sexual orientation to their as-good-as-married partner is setting an extremely low bar. I’d appreciate it if you would elaborate a bit on why you view this as a “gray area” and what your “entirely different approach” would be given this added element.

    • It is indeed critical information, but the person committing the cheating in this case may need a little time & space to figure out what the hell just happened if they’re just realizing their sexuality is different than previously realized/expected. It’s not necessarily an easy thing to sort out, particularly if blindsided by it. Is it the person? Is it the gender? Is something else missing in my life, causing the abnormal (for me) behavior? Lots to sort out, potentially changing how the person identifies themselves. Once that has been sorted out, then, yes, the person should come clean. But to do so prematurely *could* cause more difficulty & heartache all around. I think the therapist idea might be a really good path in this case. This isn’t a run of the mill cheating issue.

      • Why is everyone assuming they failed to disclose their sexual orientation to their partner and/or are just realizing their sexuality is different than previously realized/expected? That seems like a leap.

        • Because a coming-out story makes this all the more racy!

        • I wrote based on the strong impression I got – phrases such as getting blindsided by what had happened. Could relate to just the fact that the cheating happened, but I got the impression it was something more. And in this case, I think anonymous above is responding to dcd’s “grey area” comment above, which was based on the idea of some underlying confusion relating to new information. So that’s what I was responding to.

    • I do think it’s critical information for the partner, which is what I said yesterday. But I also know that if someone is wrestling with sexual orientation issues, “just come clean” may not be that easy. It’s not just admitting that you’ve been unfaithful, or have feelings for another – there’s a whole other level that may be tremendously difficult.
      Now, we don’t know if that’s the case here – it may not be. But it may be. When I was lambasting the OP from yesterday, I assumed the paramour was the same sex as the partner. But that apparently isn’t the case, which raises the possibility that the OP is struggling with a lot more than confessions of infidelity or doubts about the current relationship. I agree that wasn’t a focus of the OP, and that’s why I missed it initially. But I do know I’d feel terrible if I was (even inadvertently) hectoring someone to come out.

      • Accountering

        I understand that there is another layer here, but I still think it is selfish. It is doing continued harm to another person (your partner) to prevent having to tell them and possibly expose a change in sexual orientation. No problem whatsoever, but it comes back to not wanting to tell the partner, to make it easier for them, and that, is selfish, and ch!ckenshit. You don’t need to come out, but you do need to end the relationship if you aren’t willing to do that. Now we are talking about TWO HUGE lies – both the cheating, and the fact you are interested in someone of the other sex than your partner.

  • Rant: My year-end review is making me crazy. I’m having very serious doubts about my own performance (impostor syndrome?), and am also trying to figure out how much I can/should let myself off the hook for my less-than-perfect performance because it was a truly difficult and very confusing year in my personal live. I wonder if my own “bad” performance is in my own head because I’ve only gotten good feedback and people here seem to like me. But I’m worried that everyone has just been very nice because it’s my first year here, and that all of the negative feedback will come rolling out at year’s end. I really don’t know how this will play out and can’t stop thinking about worst case scenarios.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: Walkthrough with the dog/house sitter tonight.
    Rant: The withering remarks from the PoPville commentariat when I reveal that the mini-cauldron hauling Wiccan Cub has the job.
    Rave: I’ve drawn up a list of rules including things like “no smudging or Wiccan ceremonies in the house” and “don’t eat my food.”
    Question: I’m landing in Tampa before being whisked off to Senior Citizenville in Central FL. Columbia Restaurant in Tampa, Tampa thrill or tourist shill?
    Rant: As they say, whether you go to Heaven or Hell, you always connect through Atlanta.

    • Query: What’s the chance that someone who would smudge someone else’s house without permission will follow a list of rules — particularly without supervision?

      • I Dont Get It

        LOL good point. If the elderly dogs weren’t so needy I would use someone else but they like him and are skittish with strangers. Actually I rarely even can touch the super skittish one myself these days. Since he has no ambition they will have someone to sit on the couch with all day and watch TV.

  • Don’t stand in the door of the train and then give me the death stare when you “accidentally” get hit by my bag.

    Rave: Taylor Swift’s new video. LOVE it. Love that she totally gets the joke.
    Rant: The department assistant is making me crazy. She giggles after every single thing she says and it’s driving me batsh!t. “I got those fedexes out, heeheee.” She’s a smart girl (she speaks 3 languages!) but she just makes herself sound so dumb. She’s super flaky – we never know what her hours will be or if she’s working from home and I have to specify every detail of everything I want done. It’s quicker for me to just do stuff myself. Ugh.

    • Accountering

      Just plow them right over! Good for you. To the person who was crowding near the door at Metro Center when I got on the Red Line yesterday, I thoroughly enjoyed bumping and moving you out of the way, under the guise that people behind me were causing it.

    • I love it too! I was never super into T Swift until a few months ago, but she’s so savvy about her image. She’s pretty impressive. It’s nice that she gets the joke and then turns it around on her detractors.

    • I have a coworker who laughs after every sentence. I think it’s a nervous laughter thing and sometimes I feel badly, but it drives me NUTS!

    • And don’t be surprised when someone that you “accidentally” hit with your bag goes ballistic on you.

    • People standing by the doors on trains….do you just not realize that the doors will open and people will be pushing to get off and pushing to get on? Has this just never occurred to you? I MEAN REALLY.

      • People standing by the doors on trains: some of them may be getting off in two stops; some of them may be hanging onto the poles because they are too short and/or too unsteady on their feet to reach the overhead bars; some of them may have physical limitations, and stand near the doors and near the poles that they can reach because all of the priority seats are taken; some may be unfamiliar with the stations and the unwritten rules of riding Metro, a difficulty that might be enhanced by the replacement of easily visible maps by ads and garbled announcements — so they hover near the doors to be sure that they can get off at the right stop. It’s interesting how overt aggression against people who are doing nothing deliberate to the aggressor doesn’t provoke more of an outcry here. It constantly amazes me how entitled and aggressive people can be. An effective remedy could be as simple as asking the person if they’d mind moving back a bit, or if they would step aside to allow others to move past them to the center of the car. It really isn’t a rugby scrum.

        • epric002

          i think there’s a big difference between standing generally near the doors, and standing directly in front of one or both of the doors so that anyone trying to enter/exit has to move around you. i’ve never been on a metro that has poles directly in front of the doors, so they’re not standing there for that reason.

        • If you do this, you need to step off the train, let people on or off, and then get back on. It is not that hard.

          • No it’s not. It’s also not that hard to say “excuse me” instead of “accidentally” hitting someone with a bag or “plowing right over them”, yet some people seem to feel that the latter two actions are justified, and, perhaps, preferable to the first option.

        • You’re right – I said standing by the doors….I should have said standing in a way so that you’re completely blocking the door with no intentions of moving. Those are the people who get under my skin. Not my fellow vertically challenged people, not those with physical limitations, and not even those unfamiliar with the stations and metro system. If only all WMATA train cars had the electronic signs inside that said which line you were on and spelled out the next stop! Would make life so much easier 🙂

  • Accountering

    Rave: I am happy to admit that I have been very pleasently surprised with Bowsers first few days of transition. First she mentioned we should take the marijuana legislation a step further to tax and regulate it, and now it is coming out that she is rumored to be considering (still sounds like her hehe!) Tommy Wells as the head of DDOT. I cannot think of a better pick, both for the person (he would be tremendous to continue moving DC to be more walkable and bikeable) and the optics – he doesn’t fit into the DC old guard in the least.

    • Yes to Wells for DDOT! That’s a great plan.

    • Accountering

      Now she sounds onboard with McMillan plan, and is looking to move it by the end of the year. My fear is that she is going to study things into oblivian (McMillan, Streetcars, School redistricting etc) and so far she has not done that (in her one week in transition) and with McMillan, is now 3 for 3 in my book. I so hope she proves me wrong!

    • I think she’s just named him co-chair of the transportation committee. Many (myself included) are hoping that means she will pick him to head DDOT, but as far as I know she hasn’t done that yet.

  • Rave: Dr Scholl’s air cushion gel arch supports. I balked at buying them b/c they seemed so expensive ($9!!)), but worth every penny. Farewell, plantar fasciitis pain!

    • If you participate in any sports/physical activities, I’d highly recommend you look into Superfeet insoles. They run about $30-35, but are worth every penny in my opinion.

      • Thanks! I do use them in running shoes and hiking boots (though they don’t tend to cause me problems even without insoles). But they don’t work in most of the shoes I can wear to work, which is where the arch supports come in! $9 per pair of shoes sure beats having to replace them with expensive and ugly orthopedic shoes.

    • pablo .raw

      I’ve been meaning to rave about the same thing! but I had the ones that cost more like $40ish

  • binpetworth

    Rant: Weird, tiny flies (gnats? fruit flies?) keep zipping by my computer and I can’t manage to squish any of them. I get them at home sometimes, too. Feel like Pigpen from the Peanuts cartoon, but instead of being trailed by dirt, I’m trailed by flies.
    Rave: That reminds me…almost time again for the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special!

    • Do you have houseplants nearby? If so, they’re probably fungus gnats.

      • binpetworth

        Nope. Don’t own a one. Also ruled out drain flies (after being totally creeped out by the pics of them).

        • This is kind of sick, but I’m imagining covering all major surfaces with double stick tape — and trapping them suckers. Weird identification with your Pigpen image: I’ve learned the hard way that gnats are apparently attracted to my Very Expensive Favorite lipgloss. Ptoooo! Ugh! Maybe it would make good bait for your gnats.

  • Andie302

    Rant: Someone’s gorgeous pet cat got hit and killed by a car on 19th this morning. I feel so bad for the people that will eventually find out they’ve lost a beloved pet, to the point I nearly cried.
    Rant: Those tears are related to the cat’s death and my hormones. Now every cat video on my facebook feed is also making me emotional. And it turns out I have a lot of cat-lady friends.
    Rave: My friend reached out to me to set up a girlfriend from our book club with a friend of hers. She has some match-making success in the past – I’m hoping tonight’s happy hour ends well for those two!
    Rave: Busy – but with a bunch of great stuff, both professional and personally…feeling very blessed and optimistic

  • Andie302

    Rant: Someone’s gorgeous pet cat got hit and killed by a car on 19th this morning. I feel so bad for the people that will eventually find out they’ve lost a beloved pet, to the point I nearly cried.
    Rant: Those tears are related to the cat’s death and my hormones. Now every cat video on my facebook feed is also making me emotional. And it turns out I have a lot of cat-lady friends.
    Rave: My friend reached out to me to set up a girlfriend from our book club with a friend of hers. She has some match-making success in the past – I’m hoping tonight’s happy hour ends well for those two!
    Rave: Busy – but with a bunch of great stuff, both professional and personally…feeling very blessed and optimistic

  • Rave: I actually got up this morning and went swimming before work. I didn’t see any violations of the bro code while at the Y, but I also confess that I wouldn’t really know what to look for.
    Rant: A friend’s wife passed away last night after a many years battle with cancer. Heartbreaking news. We lost touch after school, so it is hard to know how to respond/be a support.
    Rave: I am about 80% of the way prepared for my little sister’s baby shower this weekend. I love my sister, but I hate baby showers.

    • Bloody Marys will get you that last 20%. Also, show up late.

    • no bro code violations? The Y is not that bro’y really. I wonder if you have ever seen me there….i have white and orange nikes and usually wear kinda higher top white socks. I don’t know if this is against bro code?

    • Maybe an e-mail or text to your friend just so that he knows you’re thinking of him. It’s always hard to find the right words. I don’t know that there are “the right words.” But the sentiment will probably be welcomed.

    • I Dont Get It

      I can provde Bro Code training if necessary.

  • Rave – Just bought a (really) early birthday present for myself: tickets to see Swan Lake at the Kennedy Center.
    Rant – Spending way too much money recently.

  • pablo .raw

    Rave: I think I’m going to celebrate Thanksgiving by taking photos of eagles.

  • Rant: looks like my LDR is going to end in break-up. Being on opposite coasts is not working. At all. She’s not handling the stress of grad school very well and it usually ends up with her exploding in anger over perceived slights/micro-aggressions 🙁 This is the THIRD time I’ve broken my “no LDRs ever again!” rule, why did I think it would end up differently? Gah.
    Rant: we made holiday travel plans together (Thanksgiving with my mom in CA, Xmas with her family in VT). This sucks.
    Rave: being single will allow me to move forward with some big life goals. I’ve hesitated on buying a condo because I didn’t know if I would move back west for Her. I’d also love to work abroad for a while, but also sidelined that idea on Her behalf.
    Rave: my good friend from undergrad who now lives Austria stayed with me last night. We haven’t seen each other in almost 4 years! She’s subletting a room in my house at the end of Nov/early Dec while doing PhD research at the National Archives and it will be awesome to goof around and show her DC.
    Rave: going to NYC on Sunday for work. Seeing friends, staying in a nice hotel, and will be there for a few days. So nice.

    • Bummed to hear this, OP Anon — she seems like a keeper, but I agree LDRs are a b-tch. Glad there are some big silver linings, though!

    • justinbc

      LDRs are brutal. The only 2 I ever did were at least driving distance (3-5 hours), I can’t imagine being cross country.

    • LDRs are so hard sometimes. I’m sorry to hear this. 🙁

    • I’m happily in a LDR with someone who lives in France. If the person is right for you, it doesn’t seem like work at all and it’s easily manageable. Maybe the “distance” isn’t the problem, it’s actually just not the right fit for you. The problems that emerge while in an LDR, would likely emerge in your relationship even if you were living in the same city, albeit, it might take a little longer to come to light.

    • LDRs are definitely tough and grad school is such a new and stressful world. I’m coming off 9 months of living across the Atlantic from my husband while in grad school. Best of luck whichever way it goes…

    • I thought the LDR had already ended — weren’t you having lots of Tinder activity? (Or had you just agreed to see other people while the relationship was long-distance?)

      • We’ve been on and off for a few years. This conversation felt like the final nail in the coffin.
        I’ve mostly retold my blood tales of Tinder’s past on PoPville 😉

  • Just a few more days to apply for DC Advocacy Partners, the District’s free advocacy and leadership training program for self-advocates and family members of people with disabilities! Please spread the word! Applications due Monday, November 17. http://dcpartners.iel.org/

  • justinbc

    Rave: Work has slowed down significantly after last week, finally. More time to relax, sleep, and do fun stuff…just sucks that it’s always dark now when I get home!

  • Not a Rant, just puzzled – Is sitting “Indian style” now a bad thing? I agree the Wash Football team name is derogatory, but Indians do sit “Indian style. . . but the correct term is now apparently “Criss cross applesauce.”

    Revel: Family with sweet 3 year old girl (who sat criss cross applesauce to hold the foster kittens) is going to adopt Sabrina and Sky! I’m getting new foster kittens on Sat. – stay tuned.

    Also – for those staying tucked in over the Thanksgiving holiday – all the rescue groups seriously need fosters over the holiday. Adoptions tend to be slow this time of year anyway, and many fosters travel for Thanksgiving.

    • epric002

      +1 for your foster plug! i think i’ve convinced darling husband to let us foster sit another one over the holidays 🙂

    • My husband and I had someone recently say something about sitting Indian style in a funny way to us – it wasn’t offensive or anything. The person said it without knowing my husband is Indian so we got an especially good chuckle about it later on. As I was relaying the story to someone else they did say that people call it Criss Cross Applesause now- I had never heard of that before….

      • I recently heard criss cross applesauce for the first time too! The person was surprised I’d never heard of that and I felt so foolish. So glad I’m not the only one!

      • Also the first time I’ve heard this phrase. Maybe ages ago “Indian style” was used but I’ve always called it sitting cross-legged. Criss cross applesauce sounds like a kindergarten term

      • I have also never heard of Crisscross Applesauce. My guess this is something that started with elementary or preschool teachers, so this is what they are telling young families nowadays. I don’t have kids, so it probably has not filtered out to older audiences.
        When growing up, we used the phrase “sit down cross-legged”. I’ve also heard that in more recent years in introductory yoga classes.

    • Yes, sometime between 1988 and 2008, Indian Style was formally changed to Crisscross Applesauce. Can anyone narrow it down further than that? Anyone know the story? It’s interesting to be when something so universal changes so universally. I haven’t heard Indian Style (except from bewildered new parents who are learning Crisscross Applesauce for the first time) since I was in elementary school.

      • justinbc

        Formally…? Wtf does applesauce have to do with anything?

        • It’s pretty typical in pre-school settings to give things rhymes to that they’re easy to remember. And to keep them cutely innocuous if possible. I’ve occasionally used “criss-cross ’cause I’m the boss” effectively — although with much hilarity.

          • justinbc

            Why does it even need a rhyme though?

          • It’s intended for little kids Justin. Rhyme mnemonics help with memory.

          • justinbc

            Before when it was Indian style and didn’t rhyme kids managed to remember it just fine. Are there also rhymes for standing up, or laying down?

          • I don’t know. I don’t teach little kids, but I think there are a bunch of folks on here that do who can better answer your question.

          • I can assure you that when I want my kids attention a rhyme works better than anything else. Better than saying their names, better than a raised voice, better than clapping hands. If I say “One two three, Eyes on me” they will always, immediately respond with “One! Two! Eyes on you!” And then I have their attention.
            You don’t have children, right?

          • justinbc

            You’re missing the point. Sure, rhymes work for getting attention. But WHY is it necessary for this particular thing. There are all of 2 ways to sit down? You’re either doing one or the other, it’s not complicated.

          • Oh, no! There are dozens upon dozens of ways to sit down. So you could say: “Megan sitting sideways like that, your feet are in Jody’s space. Jody, please don’t lean forward like that, you’re in Sarah’s space. Sarah, if you stick your feet out in front of you like that, you are in Tommy’s space, and you risk kicking Maria. Maria, please don’t sit on your knees like that, Ricardo can’t see over your head when you sit like that…..” OR you can say “criss cross, applesauce”, which catches their attention, and tells them what to do — not what not to do. If you think it’s not complicated, I wonder how much time you’ve spent with groups of kids under 8. Until you’ve adjudicated complaints like: “He’s BREATHING on me!!!!” You’ve likely no idea how complicated sitting together for story time can be.

          • another thing that makes me relieved I don’t have kids.

      • As someone who received all but my grad school education during that time, I have never once heard crisscross applesauce. Our older teachers would tell us to sit Indian style, while our younger teachers would tell us to sit cross-legged or something similar. Crisscross applesauce is just…bizarre. And overly cutesy for me to handle.

      • Allison

        How about Kriss Kross applesauce? WOOoooo this partay just got a whole lot funner! “Jump Jump Jump Jump!”

    • Huh. Interesting. And surprisingly, until just now I never considered whether “Indian” referred to Native Americans or South Asians.

      • I think it sort of depends on where you reside. In DC, people don’t ever really use the term Indian to mean Native American.

        If I am in Indian Country – aka Oklahoma- then it always means Native American. Indians there wouldn’t really ever refer to themselves as Native Americans.

        • Yeah, I grew up in the rural part of South Jersey and Indian always meant Native American. I don’t think I was aware of the other Indians until I was in middle or high school (stupid non-diverse environment).

          • Native Americans – at least according to Sherman Alexie (a great writer!) call themselves, and don’t mind being called “Indian.”

            And possibly borderline non-pc, but I’ve heard the distinction between “feather Indians” or “dot Indians.”

          • Victoria it took me a few minutes to figure out what this meant (feather vs dot)

        • Yes, but in this case it’s a phrase, so wouldn’t necessarily follow the same rules as how people would refer to different groups when using the term by itself.

        • Growing up here, I heard Indian quite a bit for American Indians. We just clarified. That being said, I was always confused as to who Indian styled sitting referred to.

    • Urban Dictionary ‘ s 4th definition of criss cross applesauce puts an interesting spin on it.

    • I vote that one of the Anonymice take on Crisscross Applesauce as a moniker.

  • Red Panda

    Rave: Just received my performance review and my boss had nothing but good things to say. And I got my holiday bonus earlier than expected!
    Rant: Diabetes sucks. You’d think that after 18 years with the disease I’d figure out how to control it, but nope.
    Rave: It’s Thursday! And my workload is really light right now!

  • Mug of Glop

    Rave: I’m finally on my new science machine and I’ve got my sample locked and loaded!
    Rant: The specimen stage is drifting like crazy, so I can’t actually take any decent pictures.
    Rave: VNC remote desktop is up and running, so I can kvetch about it on PoPville!

  • Rant: full day of work, then staff meeting, then workshop. Tomorrow I’ll be a zombie
    Rave: made an offer on the last room. Still waiting to hear back but we have a plan b.

    • Rave: all third graders in title one schools in pg county are getting Chromebooks!

      • Allison

        I hate to be that crotchety person (but let’s face it, I am that crotchety person); am I the only one who thinks third grade is way too young to be using laptops in the classroom? I worry (even with all the special software they install) that they’re just going to be more of a distraction and a hassle than a true learning tool. This would bug me if I were a parent, but maybe a teacher can change my mind?

        • Not at all! A lot of my students would really benefit from being able to type, use spellcheck, and otherwise be paperless. If they choose to abuse the privilege, they can do their work with a pencil and paper. But they will be taking a computerized standardized test in March and many do not have computers or internet access at home and they do need these skills.

          • Allison

            Ahh, I’ve forgotten testing has become more computerized, and many of these kids don’t have computers at home. Wow, typing as young as 3rd grade! We had our first typing class in 6th grade. Damn, I feel old now.

          • I’m not against making technology available to students at this age per se, but spell check? Seems to me that these kids will never have any motivation to learn how to spell on their own.

          • Agree with AMDCer. Kids have to be comfortable with technology but there are some basics that they need to know without it – I haven’t really thought about it (and it’s not my area of expertise) but I would guess pretty much anything you learn in elementary school falls into that category.

          • Allison, at the risk of making you feel really, really old now, I think it’s called “keyboarding”. Try explaining “typing” to a kid — which means having to describe what a “typewriter” is/was. For real fun, try explaining the marvels of “carbon paper”!

          • Re: spellcheck. That ship has sailed. Quite some time ago, really. The ability to spell without assistance has gone the way of the slide rule. Can you use a slide rule? Probably not. But you can still do math, right?
            What parents and teachers can do is encourage reading. Reading will get you most of the way to decent spelling, and spellcheck will fill in the gaps.

          • Nope, can’t use a slide rule, but I can use an abacus!

          • In that case we also need to explain why we say “dial a phone number” to kids!

          • AMDCer — but do we still say that? I would probably just say “call” rather than “dial”. Then I’ll leap back several generations and say something like “do you have enough money for carfare?” (Being raised by older parents really impacts one’s vocabulary. )

          • Emmaleigh504

            My mother had kids young, but has super archaic lexicon. She says stuff “picture show” for movies. Once to my horror I said that in conversation.

          • I had to explain to some college students why they “hang up” when a call ends.

        • Especially given all of the research that has shown that handwriting leads to greater retention of information than typing.
          Plus this experiment has worked out so well in LA.

          • Allison

            During law school I hand wrote every one of my case briefs. Sure it took me longer to do my reading than most other students, but it paid off big time around finals.

          • Allison

            I was very critical of the program in LA, but I do note the difference here between A) school-controlled laptops only for use during the day in classrooms and B) providing kids with ipads for home use willy nilly (which seriously, how did anyone in the history of ever think that was a good idea!?)

          • And also providing ipads with “learning module” software for the teachers that was unfinished and untested. LA was a case study in how not to roll out a program.
            But it happens everywhere, technology is seen as this great solution to all educational problems, and usually it just creates new problems to add to the old.
            I do think students should have practice with the testing aspect of using them, of course.

    • Accountering

      You have filled these things super quick right? If I recall, the place isn’t done for quite a while right? Are you getting deposits or something from these people? Perhaps these rooms ARE too cheap, and you should have taken an even larger discount?! Hehe, kidding. I just think your landlord underpriced the place. I would have gone to at least 5K if I were him.

      • Yeah, I think he priced the house kind of low too. He had offers from other people to rent for $4650, but because I’m a former tenant he gave me the $200/mo discount for the house. I just gave that discount (and a tiny bit more) to myself 🙂

        I’ve already received the deposit from two people with a third check in the mail. I’m getting really excited to move in and I feel like it’s worth the effort I’ve had to put forth. So far.

  • Rant: Last night, an Uber driver refused to come to my address and when i finally went to where he was parked and told him we have to turn around (hence why I used my address), he screamed and shouted at me, called me all these expletives, and told me to get the **** out of his car. It was really terrifying since I have anxiety about being alone in cabs in the first place (bad experience). He was screaming at the top of his lungs and drove off like a mad man!

    Rave: Meeting up with some great people later tonight to go to a concert

    • Report him to Uber immediately, either via email or in your rating comments. They’ll take care of the situation.

      • Agreed. I’d be surprised if he worked for Uber again after you report this. I also have some anxiety about taking Uber, and check the rating of the driver every time before getting in the car. If the driver’s rating is lower than 4.7, I usually cancel and wait for another driver unless I’m in a huge rush.

        • Accountering

          Interesting on the 4.7 threshold. I don’t really check the drivers score, just trust that the system gets rid of the bad apples, but obviously very different being a woman, and I can completely understand after talking with friends and reading here why you would do that. I agree on the reporting to Uber. They will come down on this guy, and he may get deleted for just this incident (moreso if he had a bad rating prior, or other complaints)

          • I left a comment on the ratings page and they got back to me. Basically said, “your safety is our number 1 priority and they will check in with the driver about my concerns.” Also they have added $10 to my account. No mention of refunding me the $5 he took because he started the trip at all! Should I also follow up with another email filing an official complaint?

          • I realize 4.7 is a somewhat arbitrary threshold, btw, and I may have made this sound like a more absolute cutoff than I intended to. I guess my point is that if it’s 11 pm and I’m getting an Uber by myself, I will cancel on cars with 4.4-ish ratings. I generally trust Uber will weed out the bad drivers, but have found that drivers with borderline ratings tend to actually be quite bad, rather than just middling.

          • Nomnomgood, I think so, yes. I’ve found Uber to be quite accommodating, and if you don’t like their resolution to your problem, I think they would want to know that and respond more fully.

          • “Also they have added $10 to my account. No mention of refunding me the $5 he took because he started the trip at all!”
            Huh? They gave you $10 which more than covers the $5. That’s your refund plus $5. What am I missing?

        • I thiiiiink uber lets drivers to with lower than a four.

      • I left a comment on the ratings page, should I send another email as well? They got back to me and told me they would give me a $10 credit…thanks I guess. Didn’t even mention refunding me my original trip fee (he started the trip and quickly swiped it off so I still got charged). The worst part is this crazy man now has my cell phone number and my address as well 🙁

        • He doesn’t have your phone number but you’re right, he does have your address. Uber uses a proxy for all phone numbers – drivers and passengers, so he doesn’t have your actual phone number. Reach back out to Uber about the $5 and ask if there’s anything they can do about wiping your address from his trip records.

        • Accountering

          He sounds just like a jerk, and not a dangerous person. I agree that Uber should address this with him, but he doesn’t sound super dangerous, based on what you have said above. I wouldn’t worry too too much about the address thing – as hard as that is to do.

          • He doesn’t have your address unless you specifically sent it to him, he has the half of the block you are on. Not ideal, but unless he’s sitting outside waiting for you, you shouldn’t have any concern. This is becoming to common lately with Uber, especially their treatment of women. I had to listen to my driver on Halloween question the morality of every woman’s outfit and choice to drink any alcohol. He claimed he was “saving them” by telling them women should cover-up, not drink and “let the man drive” or they’re “asking for trouble”. Ugh…

    • That’s terrifying. Pre-Uber I had some experiences like that with cab drivers, so I share your anxiety. I’ve finally started to relax a little and occasionally take Ubers alone, but I guess even they are not foolproof. Then again, when I take the bus I inevitably end up next to someone who’s touching himself or muttering threating things about white women while staring directly at me. I guess the real problem is that there are too many untreated mentally ill people on the loose.

    • Ally

      Yeah, that guy will be gone in a flash. My understanding is that if a driver dips below a 4 rating, they are in danger of losing their job.

  • Sort of a rant?: I’m kind of getting fed up with the orthopedic surgeon I’ve been seeing – everything is, “Let’s wait 3 more weeks before we do more tests.” Long story short: I was in a pretty serious accident in July and there’s something very clearly wrong with my left ankle still (he admits this) but the MRI (which he delayed ordering until THIS WEEK) showed no tendon tears, which he’d originally thought was the issue. He disagrees with the MRI’s findings but doesn’t want to order another one or take any further action until mid-December. I’m in some pretty significant pain and would like to know what’s up.

    So, my question is: does anyone have any suggestions for orthopedic surgeons who see accident cases? Thanks in advance!

    • And a rave to balance it out: Friendsgiving for this Sunday is coming together and I’m really grateful to have so many amazing friends (too many! so much food to make!) and friends who are willing to donate their dining room space for everyone to come together.

    • Accountering

      This crap takes forever to heal. I am pretty sure I broke my ankle when I rolled it the worst I ever have (fell down three stairs when I tripped on a box – damnit) and that was 18 months ago. It is 95% better, and I have run 10Ks and such on it, but it took FOREVER to heal, and I don’t think I will ever regain 100% flexibility. So lame.
      As far as suggestions for surgeons, I, like a dummy, did not seek medical care, so I can’t help there 🙂

      • Ahh that sounds awful! I definitely can’t run on it, though I have gotten back to exercising more regularly (elliptical, barre, etc). That said, it is easier to justify seeking a second opinion (in my case) when I know it’s completely covered by insurance and I don’t have to pay anything out of pocket.

      • epric002

        i agree that ankle injuries take FOREVER to heal. i’m still not 100% from my ankle sprain in may, and i’m expecting it will be close to a year before i’m back to normal. on the ortho front- i recommend dr. gasho in chevy chase. i saw him for plica syndrome in my knee last year, and for my ankle sprain this year. i don’t know what his policies are RE accident cases.

    • Mine was and has been amazing & i would highly reccomend him or his father (his dad isnt as personable though)

      Dr. Andrew Neviaser
      works out of GW

    • Howard Osterman in Farragut Square has been my longtime ankle guy and I recommend him highly. He has a great bedside manner and is the right blend of conservative (he’s not going to operate until you’ve exhausted all other options) and decisive when discussing your options. The things I particularly liked about him were that he was directly accessible after surgery and his medication regimens dealt with the pain effectively without knocking me out for the entire day.

    • I’d recommend Dr. Stein at DC orthopedics medicine enter and surgery. I suffered a broken fibula and dislocated ankle 2 months ago and dr stein has been great. From day one he made me feel very comfortable and confident about the entire process. He did a great job with my surgery my scar is barely visible and it’s only been 6 weeks. Located 18th n M.

      • I have an appt with them tomorrow – thanks for the vote of confidence. After a year of insisting to the podiatrist that something is really, really wrong, I”m going for the big guns.

        • Good luck. Again I was so depressed initially when I had my injury and after meeting with them for the first time, I finally felt that everything was going to be ok. He walked me through what to expect for the following 3 months and created milestones which I’ve reached all of them a week earlier than normally expected. Granted we all heal differently etc…but still they are a great team.

    • If you’re not comfortable with your doctor you should get another opinion. That said, I learned during some orthopedic issues that MRIs often can’t show damage. Doctors order them because they can help, but especially when dealing with soft tissue MRIs may not be able to show the issue. This is, unfortunately why “exploratory surgery” still exists :/

  • SFT

    RAVE: My kiddo slept through the night last night. It’s been over a month since that’s happened and I can’t tell you how much we needed this. Please, oh please, keep up the sleep!
    RANT: Constipation. Not me, the kiddo. It’s tough watching a tiny person cry because he can’t poop. On an aggressive, doctor recommended, constipation therapy. I can’t believe how much I talk about poop these days!

    • Yay! Did the overnight diapers help? I hope it continues!

      Yuck on the constipation. Poor kid. I’m not sure how often your kiddo eats things like apples, bananas, and rice, but maybe cut back on those since those tend to be binding agents? Feel free to ignore if you’ve been advised otherwise. Poop issues are the worst (except maybe for sleep issues?) in either direction. Does bringing his knees up to his chest help at all? That’s what one of my day care providers did when my daughter was constipated and it helped her–but that was a passing thing, so not nearly as severe. (I think we went overboard on the binding agents after a diarrhea issue….)

      • SFT

        The overnight diapers haven’t arrived from Amazon yet. Amazon is my guilty pleasure! I think he was so worn out from pushing, that he just slept all night. Constipation silver lining? And yes – my husband holds him in a sitting position with his knees up to his chest, it’s honestly the only thing that helps. We’ve also been sitting him on the toilet for a few weeks. I know it’s a strange thing to do at 14 months, but he doesn’t like to go in his diaper, so we are trying the toilet. I had no idea what we were getting into when we had this little nugget – my life is all consumed by what goes in and what comes out of his body!

        • Positive spin: maybe toilet training will come earlier? I hear you on the odd obsessions with kids, though. Good luck!

  • Have been seeing a guy since August…(usually every other weekend, for the full weekend)..his best guy friend (and my friend for over 20 years) is staying with me for a month while he looks for a job and gets himself together after a bad breakup (there is no atttraction between my guy friend and I, strickly platonic). “My” guy is totallly backing away from me…I have been doing the communication reach out etc lately. I dont know if he has lost interest or if the fact that our friend is staying with me (my guy lives with his dad currently – had a stroke and has parkinsons)…he responded to text yesterday saying “isnt that why (insert name) is there?” in response to my joking around and saying I was needy and needed some hugs etc.

    Would the best approach here be asking if he is backing away because he has lost interest and/or because our friend is staying with me? I dont want to come off as ridiculous.

    • And I know I sound like I am in highschool, I am just really bad at these things.

      • I can see why your current guy is not pleased about this. Something just seems off about the idea….i just imagine being in his shoes…and not being happy about it. Although it seems like your relationship is very casual (once ever other weekend) i feel like thats hard to maintain momentum and attraction. You probably are loosing him, and this is what will probably end it. If you don’t want to loose him you should think about having your mutual guy friend find somewhere else to stay. If you don’t care about loosing him then let your friend stay and see what happens. But it sounds like your boy friend is starting to resent you over this.

        • I’m not a man, so maybe this is something I will never grasp; but what is the issue exactly? If she wanted to sleep with this guy, couldn’t she do it any of the other 24 days she’s not with My guy? Guy friend isn’t mentioned as an ex either. I feel a bit put off by the suggestion to throw aside a guy she’s known for 20 yrs over a guy she’s casually dating for 3 months.

        • Umm, no! She shouldn’t have to kick her friend out to keep his attention! If so, she shouldn’t want to be with him in the first place.

        • epric002

          i completely disagree with this advice.

        • …are you really in a position to be giving dating advice here?

          • the advice wasn’t for you….so feel free to disagree. But the facts are she’s dating a guy she likes, he is loosing interest and this WILL put the nail in the coffin. I didn’t say she can’t just end things with the guy she is dating, if she really thinks he is acting like a passive aggressive jerk then thats probably a good idea. But if she likes him enough, i wouldn’t put him in a position where another man is going to be living with her for a MONTH (if it was a weekend or two OK) but a month is a long ass time and it would just be awkward for that guy to deal with. Especially at the start of a new relationship. I might have to change my alias because now i am getting trolled.

          • Accountering

            You aren’t getting trolled, someone just pointed out that perhaps you aren’t the best person to be giving dating advice. We are all rooting for you here, but I tend to agree, you are not the best person to be giving dating advice, and I also agree that the advice you just gave was poor.

          • Dude, honestly not trolling you here. But certainly you have to see that her guy is acting like a raging jerk if he’s pulling away because he trusts neither his girlfriend nor his best friend in this situation? I was in a similar situation myself (moved in with my dude best friend not too long after starting to date my then-boyfriend, now fiance), and thankfully my fiance wasn’t the jealous or irrational type. If he likes her enough, he’ll understand that the whole situation is platonic.

          • epric002

            you’re not getting trolled. you gave lousy advice and are getting called on it. this is *his* insecurity. she is doing a nice thing for a mutual friend, and unless there are mitigating infidelity issues here, a mature person would understand and appreciate the kindness she is extending to the friend. would you have given the same advice if she just happened to have a male roommate?

          • Unless this casual bf is paying rent at your place, then I see no logical reason why he gets to dictate your living arrangements esp. in such a passive-aggressive way. This level of controlling behavior only gets worse.

          • bah i give up, i won’t advise anyone anymore :/

        • Well, the dude staying with me is his best friend – we all care about each other. My guy was very supportive of our friend staying with me….I guess maybe when it actually happended, it wasn’t ideal….but I dont think kicking our friend to the curb (he just moved back to the area from Austin) would be a good idea and I dont want to lose the guy either..My friends are like my family….and I guess I will ride this month long roller coaster and see how it goes…but i dont want to continually have “talks” all the time because it would be draining on both of us I have been reassuring him…we’ll see…. I really hope it works out.

          • I think maybe one direct convo will do the trick hopefully…its really helpful for me to see the perspectives from you all and how you would feel.

        • Please don’t take any relationship advice from this guy.

      • I’m sorry. That sucks. Many men fail to understand that women don’t see sex as an automatic consequence of cohabitation. I mean, I get that most men are going to at least give it a shot in that circumstance. I just wish they wouldn’t project on women. He should trust you, if not your mutual friend, to keep it platonic.

      • Accountering

        I dont agree with bagelboy here. It does sound like this is presenting an issue, but an choice between the friend and the BF here seems ridiculous. Sounds like your friend needs some help, and you can step in and help. I would just have the conversation with him. If this is going to ruin the relationship with BF, than it was probably going downhill anyways, and having your friend stay elsewhere is not going to fix that.

        • Why would her friend (of 20 years) and mutual friends with her current bf want to be the reason they break up? It sounds like you are siding with the friend, while i might be giving the BF the benefit of the doubt. I am sorry that i wouldn’t feel comfortable with my relatively new girl friend living with a dude i don’t care how long they have known each other (call me insecure call me whatever) but for me, personally i would not be on board for that. Feel free to disagree!

          • Give the bf benefit of doubt? If he feels any way good or bad about – he should be able to voice his feelings about the situation instead of shutting down. Obviously he feels some way based on his comment and wants the OP to feel bad or to be the one to satisfy his insecurity and reassure him nothing is going on.

          • I would definitely want my friend of 20 years to break up with a guy who was that insecure and untrusting. Nothing good ever comes of jealousy. Avoid it at all costs.
            In fact, I’d consider the 20-year guy to be a BAD friend if he backs away in order to placate the caveman.

          • Wow…. you really would not be ok with a female you are dating living with a guy?

            yea…. that is really weird.

            Would you be ok with a woman telling you who you could live with?

          • If an opposite gender friend staying with me for a month caused my boyfriend to grow distant and/or break up with me, then I would say good riddance. But I may be the oddball in this position — my partner often vacations with his opposite gender best friend (without me, and I have no issues with that). In relationships, there is trust or there isn’t. If the BF is feeling insecure or having jealousy issues about the OP’s current living situation then he needs to address that in a direct conversation rather than through passive aggressive text messages. Granted, the OP probably needs to have a direct conversation with BF about it as well.

          • one of my (extremely attractive male) friends came and stayed with me for the entire month of october, and my long-distance boyfriend (of 6 months) was initially not thrilled, but i told him that i’ve known said friend for years, he is a grad student doing a month of research in DC and had zero budget for housing, and it was the end of the discussion. honestly, if BF had pushed the issue, he would have gotten the boot, not my friend/temp houseguest.

          • The level of insecurity to reject an opposite gender house guest or roommate is ridiculous. If your SO is would cheat on you, it’s gonna happen whether the person is there or a hotel, to think that proximity makes the difference just means you’re trying to control their actions. More so, if it’s been only three months and the guy is already worried about someone else, then the relationship is already doomed, he’s to insecure and it’s to one sided power dynamic wise so he’s lashing out.

          • “The level of insecurity to reject an opposite gender house guest or roommate is ridiculous.”
            Insecurity and immaturity. If you aren’t secure or mature enough to accept that your partner has close same-sex friends, you have no business being in a serious relationship.

        • Accountering

          I am not siding with the friend, simply stating that if the BF is this much of a wanker about this, it isn’t working either way, and a breakup is imminent anyways.

          • i just don’t see why it is so hard to see how this could bother someone who is in a new relationship. They have been dating every other weekend since august (thats new). I am sorry but i don’t think calling him a wanker because he might not be comfortable with this idea. However, he should just outright say if it is bothering him (more mature thing to do). I hate when people “deny” other peoples feelings if he feels not comfortable about this then that is the way he feels…dont deny how he feels.

          • Accountering

            Not denying how he feels. I am however saying if he is going to continue to be an insecure person about this, and shut down like a small child, while the OP is clearly a grown ass adult woman, that the relationship was never going to work in the first place.

          • epric002

            no one is denying the bf’s feelings. we’re saying that it’s not the OP’s job to arrange her life so that the bf doesn’t feel insecure. the insecurity is HIS issue. we’re all insecure about different things. but when you start expecting other people to make significant life changes (kicking out a mutual friend who is only staying with you for a month?!) in order to accommodate an insecurity- that’s not emotionally healthy or sustainable, unless you’re interesting in coddling insecurities for the life of the relationship.

          • I totally disagree with what both of y’all are saying. She wouldn’t post about this if she didn’t think it was her problem.

          • epric002

            it’s a rant/revel. it doesn’t have to be “her” problem for her to post it here. his insecurity about her living with a man is HIS problem. she cannot fix his insecurity. asking the guy to move out won’t fix/solve anything longterm.

          • It’s “her” problem b/c she has to deal with her boyfriend’s insecurities (perhaps) and change in demeanor, not because she needed to make different decisions about who to let stay at her house.

    • Allison

      I vote for the direct approach. I like to use this formula whenever I get passive aggressive vibes from someone. It helps draw them out without putting words in their mouth that could cause them to lash out. “It seems like you’re feeling X. If so, are you feeling that way because Y? Here is how I feel. How do you feel? Is there anything you want me to do?” (This last one isn’t a promise to do the thing they want, but rather forces them to say what they want.)
      In your situation this would read like: “It seems like you’re feeling a little put out. If so, are you feeling that way because Friend is staying with me? I really like/love you, and I hope you know that he and I are strictly platonic. How do you feel about this, and is there something I can do for you?”

    • Your guy sounds insecure. Guy friend isn’t an ex, and you’ve known him a long time, so I see no reason for this issue. Maybe he doesn’t feel comfortable sleeping over with his guy friend there? Definitely need a chat, but I don’t think it bodes well for a LTR.

    • Wow, he definitely sounds jealous and he definitely sounds like a jerk. If he has any issues with your friend staying with you, he should have just said so instead of acting like a passive aggressive 5 year old.

      • sounds like a lot of women commenting here….

        • I don’t know if they’re all women (actually I know they’re not) but there are some tremendously judgy people around here lately. Too many people who somehow, with just a small amount of information and almost no context, can declare not only the outcome of almost any situation, but also the character of the people involved and whether they’ve acted correctly or not. Despite my handle I’m starting to feel like a rather moderate voice around here.

    • I don’t know, I think everyone is being really hard on your guy. Caring for a sick parent is incredibly taxing, emotionally. My whole family is struggling to deal with the care situation for my elderly grandfather, and I can’t imagine what it’d be like to be living with him and being responsible for his care. It sounds like you’ve all known each other for a long time; is this usual behavior for him?

      Maybe his issue isn’t cheating per say, but more about emotional intimacy. Maybe he feels like his best friend and girlfriend have each other to lean on, while he’s shouldering the responsibility of caring for his dad. I’m not defending his actions, or saying that’s the case, I’m just trying to understand the situation from the other person’s perspective. I hope it all works out for you!

      • I was thinking along the same li

        • (leaning on keyboard = premature posting)
          I was thinking along the same lines — caring for an elderly father recovering from a stroke can take a toll on even the most resilient person. I was wondering if your guy is the sole caretaker for his father.

          • No, not sole caretaker – he has support from the mother…he helps out with the situation – mentally, physically, financially, emotionally. He’s a good guy.

      • That’s tough, Ugh. I also like Allison’s direct approach. Is he generally a poor communicator (and that’s what passive aggression really is)? I hope that you are able to talk this through with him and get what you both need out of that conversation. What is it about the situation that bothers him? What does he want to happen? How does this all make you feel? What do you want to happen? Keep us posted!

    • Ally

      I know this sounds naive, but if you like the guy, I’d see if you can schedule in a time to talk and say something along the lines of: “I really value what we have and I’m concerned that I’ve inadvertently made you uncomfortable or upset. Would you be open to either talking with me about it or thinking of some suggestions for how we can find some middle ground?” Good luck!

    • None of us know your guy’s typical behavior or insecurities, or what his “backing away” might mean. I will say that living with a chronically ill parent is potentially exhausting and confusing, and that if you’re communicating by texting, a lot of the nuances can easily get scrambled — particularly “joking around”. I have no idea what the “best approach” would be, because I don’t know any of you. I will say that what I would do is to make plans to visit the bf — and do this in a way that’s as easy on him as possible. If he’s spending every other weekend with you because he has to get care for his father, for example, I’d go to visit him. His concerns may have little to do with your guy friend. Or he may see you and your guy friend — who is also his best friend — leading relatively carefree fun lives together, while he’s in need of support and perhaps overwhelmed with caring for and living with his father. To avoid misunderstandings and to remind yourselves why you’re a couple in the first place, and to offer your bf support which he likely needs, I’d plan a face to face — and try to sort it out.
      It’s not surprising that someone caring for an elderly parent will back away — either because they feel exhausted and overwhelmed, or just distant and very different from people who don’t have and haven’t experienced that type of stress and responsibility. You “joked” about being “needy” — when your bf’s situation likely makes him genuinely in need of support — that he may or may not know how to ask for. Again, a face to face meeting might clarify things for both of you.

      • Blithe, as always, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

      • Thank you for your comment Blithe – he is not the best communicator, something that we have discussed and looked for ways us to communicate better – we usually pick up the phone and talk, and joke through text…we are both really independant people (I’ve been on my own since 16) and I have been stressed, like many of us with older parents and can understand how taxing this can be and want to be there for him, and i have communicated this to him that I am there for him. While we have been dating, the weekend schedule has worked best for us and what our lives have been like over the past few months. I would like to meet with him face to face and talk about it for sure, he’s very cranky over this situation or lost interest…who knows…the only way I will know is to ask…I wanted to post to gain a bit of perspective on thoughts from folks who aren’t bff’s with me and to gather traction on the best way to start this convo…like Allison’s comment. It’s just a weird situation and I dont want anyone to be hurt or hurt anyone.

    • Most guys would have a problem with it, because most guys don’t really have female friends. Female friends are just women, they hang out and he may never actually make a move. But you best believe, if the female friend made a move the guy would say yes.

      Would be a good experiment for any female that thinks they have guy friend, to make move and see what reaction the guy would have.

      • This is just not true.

      • i think this is definitely true…

      • What a load of nonsense! Female here with absolutely platonic male friends. I know with certainty that if I were to make a move on them they would politely rebuff me.
        And really, what friend would try out this weird kind of teenage “experiment” on their friends?

      • LOL! Middle-aged mom here, imagining the reaction of my middle-aged dad friends (other than the one I’m married to) if I “made a move”. Poor guys would be so confused. And panicked. Sorry, kids. Life at 40+ is just kinda different. Better, IMO. But so different than the 26 year old tinder lifestyle.

        • I’m 28 and Anonymous’ comment made me LOL/facepalm, too!

        • As a 40+ Dad, agree on all counts. But, I think the majority of posters here think this is arrant nonsense, no matter what their ages. Excepting, of course, those who chose their handles from breakfast breads.

      • It’s true for me. *sigh* I prefer male friends, and as a engineer I have a lot of opportunities to acquire them. But unless it’s a very casual acquaintance they always end up trying to make a move and then things get awkward. Always. I’m also a lesbian in a serious relationship, so it’s not like I’m even available, but they try anyway.

        • Allison

          … that might just be because they’re engineers…. oh smack! [I get a lot of crap for my profession so let me dump on others for once. 😉 ]

          • Haha, fair enough. 🙂 But it’s not just engineers that do it.
            I just wish acquiring friends was as easy as acquiring paramours. Maybe my socially awkward engineer personality is to blame.

        • +1 For lesbian having straight guys try it. Best one a man telling me we could be together until the right one came along. No sir, I will not entertain your one-sided deal. Also I’m sure some of my guy friends would go for it if I tried, but true guy friends would never do it.

      • No. Don’t speak for all of us.

  • Rant: Too much time off (and booze) earlier this week has led to falling asleep early, then waking up and having trouble getting back to sleep.
    Rave: It usually only takes me a couple of days (plus getting back to the gym) to get over this. Going to the gym tonight (first time since Sunday) and hopefully I’ll be on my way back.
    Rant: Not ready for the cold weather, but I’m sure I’ll be used to it soon. Bundled up for my bike ride to metro this morning and it wasn’t so bad.
    Rave: Got my dog’s picture (Jet, and thinaks for the nice comments about her!) in the Animal Fix this week and I think dcist will probably use something I submitted to Overheard tomorrow.

  • Aglets

    rave: finally thursday. I can’t wait to get out of work to go listen to Serial while i work on my own stuff because
    Rant: My job is driving my nuts. It’s a hard job and it’s only getting harder and i can’t stand it. I also feel like it’s time to seriously search in new cities.

    Have you ever jumped ship and went to a new city? I moved here 17 years ago- not for a minute thinking I’d stay. I had ann internship at a place that kept hiring me back at better and better positions. Until that place made me crazy and I left for another job in DC….

  • Ally

    Rave: Engaged 🙂
    Rave: A little Fall color still left.
    Rant: FBI letter to MLK Jr. (If you haven’t already, look up the article).

  • Rant: After over a month of being fine, my dog’s stomach issues have returned. Right in my apartment building’s carpeted lobby. I guess it’s time to try one of the foods recommended here.
    Rave: My two friends are open to being set up and are going to find a time to meet soon. Here’s hoping the matchmaking doesn’t blow up in my face!

    • Have you considered home made dog food? I know this isn’t the solution for all digestive difficulties but it worked with my pup.
      When I first got her she had issues so I gave her home made then gradually transitioned to half home made, half Blue Buffalo. She’s had one or two incidents since then but I attribute that to her grabbing some street food.

      • Ally

        +1. My dog had similar issues and the vet recommended either making or buying lamb and plain rice. Seemed to help.

      • Thanks, MPinDC. When he has these problems I immediately switch him to boiled chicken, rice, and yogurt which seems to fix things right away. Perhaps I need to keep him on this diet. I had not considered putting him on half home made and half dry food– that may be the way to go.

        • I make large batches of boiled chicken, brown rice, lentils and vegetables and then freeze in small amounts. I usually make a new batch every 6 – 8 week.

    • epric002

      🙁 i feel ya on the doggie grossness. i’ll throw out a tentative but very optimistic endorsement for wellness simple limited ingredient diet lamb and oatmeal formula. we are on day 17 of this food (including the 7-day transition) and *knock on wood* it’s been working great for us. it was recommended to me by multiple people whose dogs have similar issues. if you decide to try it, i found that chewy.com had the best price. also- could this be a 1-time thing? (we had 1 day in the middle of the new food when he had some grossness, but we think it was something random he found to eat on the street.)

    • This why most apts don’t allow dogs these days.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rave: Found out I don’t need to do annual reviews for my people b/c one quit and the other will be on leave!
    Rant: I still hate my job. Time to focus on getting a new one, or fixing this one.
    Rave: Left over chinese pot roast for lunch!

  • I Dont Get It

    Rant: It’s almost 2:30 pm and no one has asked for directions to the Lactation Room.

  • Allison

    Rant: I’ve had a cold this week and my office trashcan didn’t get emptied on its regular schedule, which resulted in, um, lots of snotty tissues. I was so embarrassed when my lovely local facilities person came to empty my trash and had to see that. I just buried my face in my next tissue of shame.

    • I am also a disgusting snotface today with an office garbage can full of shame tissues, and am toughing it out because of peer pressure. Aren’t bosses supposed to insist that we go home in these situations rather than encourage us to power through?

      • Allison

        Mine’s the other way around. I’m sure my co-workers would love it if I would stay home (and I did, Monday and Tuesday, the latter being Veterans Day of course) but I’m a relatively new employee with not a lot of sick leave accrued.

  • Rave: My dog and I are both on the same program about not going anywhere on cold grey days. One walk around the block and done. She is snoozing, I’m writing a new book. All is good.

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