Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user  gordoncv

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

262 Comment

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Exclamation points; they have meaning, yo.
    Rant: engineers who are not succinct.
    Rave: Saturday night.

  • Rave 1: Two day work week
    Rave 2: Three sleeps til Mickey! (Sorry for the meaningless exclamation point, Em)
    Rave 3: Celebrating my 31st birthday w/ Mickey. 🙂
    Rave 4: Halloween candy

  • Rants: Best friend’s father passed away a few days ago, way too young. Friend (ex-Army) dealing with some serious PTSD. Passed over for promotion yet again, with no concrete reason given.

    Rave: Child’s top middle teeth are halfway in. (One has just broken, the other is still in there somewhere.) Thank goodness, because this lack of sleep is pretty sucky.

    • SFT

      Teething is the worst! If you don’t have it already, the Zo-li Gummy Stick Baby Gum Teether is awesome. My guy loved to rub it on his gums. Some nights I thought about dipping it in Jameson (I’m only half kidding). The vibrating teethers helped us too. Good luck!!!!!

      • Thank you, I’ll try that! Even though her favorite activity now is to throw everything she can, like her toys, shoes, etc, as a game. Hopefully she’ll like it. Thankfully she never got the fever, but the sinus issues (and us having to sit with her through the night so she could breathe upright) were no bueno.

      • Hrm, maybe I’ll check that out too. Molars are kicking our butts and I feel like my toddler is mainlining ibuprofen these days. I miss sleep.

        • SFT

          I went to Amazon and ordered 1 of everything. It had seriously come to that. He didn’t like the freezer rings, but did like the Zo-li’s. We haven’t gotten to molars yet…I’m scared for that! Oooohhh yeah, we also got the baltic amber teething necklace. I think it helps!?!

          • Do these things help at night? That’s when our problems are the worst. And man, the molars seem like they take forever. Two have broken through (at least partially) so we still have two more to go. Ugh!!!!

          • SFT

            Yes and no. Sometimes he will hold the gummy stick or the vibrating teether and use it at night and sometimes he won’t. It all depends. Sometimes I have to hold/rock him and let him chew on the teether and then put him down. Other times he’ll chew on the vibrating one in his crib. I guess it’s all dependent upon the child. They can wear the baltic amber necklace at night, if you are comfortable with that. I think it works.

          • PSA re baltic amber teething necklaces
            I remember hearing a news story that they were either a choking hazard, some brands had lead, or both. Sorry that I don’t recall which, I just have a memory that they were associated with severe problems (and it may have only been certain brands, although I don’t remember it that way). I just wanted to share this warning so you can get all the information you need to make a decision on whether to use them.

      • PDleftMtP

        Ours loved to chomp on the frozen gel thingies. That, and the upper bar of her crib.

    • PTSD is the pits. All mental illness is, of course, especially the way society expects folks to suck up and carry on. But PTSD is preventable. Cancer would be easier to deal with, because you either get better or you die. Folks with mental illness can only hope to suffer less. Forever.

      • I don’t know if it’s preventable, but it’s most definitely treatable. The bigger issue is the whole macho military mindset about getting help being a way of chickening out or not being a man. So frustrating. We can have all the resources in place, but nothing will happen until people feel okay using them, and don’t fear any reprisals career-wise.

        • That’s another frustration. Not all PTSD is combat related. What about the sufferers who do not have access to military resources? And before you breezily say that it’s “most definitely treatable”, please try living with someone who is treated (drugged) up to his eyeballs, and is (at best) muddling through. I guess it’s better than trembling in a closet all day.

          • I’m not the Anonymous that made the first statement, and obviously I don’t know the details of the situation you’re talking about, but if someone is “drugged up to his eyeballs”, I hope that he’s been seen for a carefully done pharm assessment — with the goal of getting meds that help without such impactful side effects. I would also hope that he’s tried cognitive behavioral therapy and/or other non-pharm therapies to see if some balance of therapy and meds can improve things. I don’t in any way mean to make light of the concerns you’ve described — only to suggest that ameliorating symptoms without being either drugged up to one’s eyeballs or trembling in a closet might take a combination of treatments, and that it might take a while to try out a variety of options to find an appropriate mix of treatments.

  • Rave: Eastern market and honey crisp apples! I haven’t been to Eastern Market in over a year and finally made some time to go over for brunch and walk around the market. Bought some honey crisp apples and devoured them.
    Rave: The Eastern Market soap lady, the one that’s been there for years. Her soap is the best and I stocked up on enough for the winter.
    Rant: Cigarette butts all over the ground. My 1 year old was running around the market picking up cigarette butts. Soooooo gross, people. Throw that crap away, don’t just drop it on the ground!

    • I’ve never understood why smokers think it’s OK to litter. Even the smokers who wouldn’t throw a paper bag or other trash on the ground think it’s fine to throw their filters there.

      • I don’t wonder at all. I base this on the selfish attitude of most smokers when you confront them about the physical harm they cause others with their smoking or the general nuisance they cause in multi-family housing. Smokers are usually not willing to compromise- even when they knowingly place others’ health in jeopardy with second-hand smoking. Hate to say it, but litter is just one of their anti-social behaviors.

        • SFT

          I hate sweeping generalizations. My husband was a smoker for years and was so considerate of others – always stepped away from the group, always washed his hands, and always popped an altoid or swished some listerine. I don’t think your beef is with smokers, it’s with inconsiderate a-holes. We like to complain about bikers, drivers, pedestrians, smokers, etc., but it’s not the activity, it’s the individual a-hole behind the activity.

        • Oh gosh, here comes the sanctimonious non-smoker brigade….

      • I don’t know why Anonymous at 11:52 thinks you’re being sanctimonious here. I agree with you 100%. If he wants to think we’re some sanctimonious brigade, so be it. He’s already said enough for me to not care one bit what he thinks.

  • RANT: My beautiful, mint green Linus 3 speed bike got stolen from in front of my house in bloomingdale yesterday. Im devastated. People are seriously so rude!
    RANT: Took the bus instead of biking, took TRIPLE the amount of time to get to work. Ugh.
    RAVE: Made a delicious dinner for myself last night. Ate too much. Fell asleep at 10:30 pm.

  • Rant: smarmy defense contractors all over Conv Ceneter area. Yeah – collecting a 6 figure tax payer funded salary for business development job makes you a real patriot…

    • epric002

      as a slimy contractor, i’m offended. i didn’t decide that my position should be filled by a contractor instead of a civilian. take it up with all those proponents of “small government”, which really just means that more work is done by contractors.

      • “i didn’t decide that my position should be filled by a contractor instead of a civilian.”
        Aren’t contractors civillians? I’m confused.

        • Assuming he meant civil servant.

          Anyway, not contractors’ fault the government chose to outsource that position. And, having worked for two firms now, it’s a heck of a lot easier to get those jobs then fed jobs, regardless of skill level – just a quicker hiring/interview process and you don’t have to navigate USAjobs.

        • epric002

          sorry- i’m a contractor in DoD so fed employees are sometimes
          called civilians.

    • Eh, I don’t have a problem with contractors, I have a problem with the retiring LtCols and Colnels who use AUSA as an open job interview. I have a problem when retired military gets a pension then a huge salary to come back to work here (same as my problem with the veterans hiring). It perpetuates the military industrial complex, making it impossible for DOD to actually cut what it wants to cut and instead we cut stuff we need (people, training, readiness). It’s so pathetic. In my opinion.

      • It also happens in law enforcement. Retire, get full pension, then get a 6-figure salary as a “security consultant”.

      • houseintherear

        As someone who will some day get a pension, I’d just like to point out that the entire thing is coming out of my paychecks in *huge* chunks. Which is why I take home considerably less money than friends my age. Lots of people seem to forget that part about pensions.

        • The entire thing? Have pensions really changed to the point where your employer isn’t putting in a considerable amount?

          • houseintherear

            As with any retirement plan, the employer contributes as well. My wording wasn’t correct above, thanks for the clarification.

    • As a smarmy contractor, former federal employee, veteran and currently serving reservist, I would just remind you to evaluate the defense contracting business wholly and not from anecdotal data. Your comment makes me think you may have met a contractor who said they were a patriot because of what they were doing. In my experience, very few contractors espouse patriotism without serving themselves and those that do are idiots.

      Also, concur with epric002. We didn’t choose to provide the government with services it requested. We are filling the need they asked for.

  • Rave: i spent time this weekend putting my messy apartment in order.
    Rave: I had a lazy day sitting on the couch and watching a movie with a dear friend. It was great to catch up and spend time with her toddler (one of my fav little people). And then I had an hour phone call, catching up with my best friend. It was the perfect end to a relaxing, much needed vacation.
    Rants: I have none today!

  • Rave: Happy I don’t have cable. It’s a waste of money.
    Rant: Things I learned from watching the talking heads on the cable network. Some guy named Gays is marrying an immigrant named Ebola in Benghazi.
    Rave: I’m happy for Mr. Gays and Ms. Ebola upcoming nuptials. I assume they’re royalty since I’ve never heard of them and don’t watch much tv. Best of luck to the both of them!

    • I Dont Get It


      I guess this was an attempt to be humorous but the level of hysteria on CNN last night was ridiculous.

  • Rant: Another period and negative pregnancy test this weekend. That’s one month short of two whole years trying to conceive. 🙁
    Rave: A clean garage after the long weekend with TONS of space and nothing to do with it! So many options…

    • I’m really sorry to hear about your rant and know just how awful that feels. I hope next month is -the- month for you!

    • I feel your pain. It took us almost two years as well. Anyone who tells you its “fun” trying has never gone through infertility. We finally got pregnant on our first IVF try. My kiddo is almost 2. Worth all the effort (and money!). Building a family is personal, and at times really challenging. Im sorry you are going through this.

    • I’m sorry, I feel your pain. I’ve been through the frustrations of trying to get pregnant and miscarriages too. I hope that someday soon you’ll be able to speak about these struggles in the past tense as well. I hope you’re getting good support (both emotional and medical) and taking good care of yourself.

    • Not sure if DCNurture is already on your radar, but if not, see Beth’s PSA from yesterday:

    • Thank you…everyone. It is so much harder than I ever imagined, and certainly something I was not prepared for when we began. Another IUI this month, fingers crossed.

    • houseintherear

      Adoption is a wonderful way to build a family.
      Good luck to you.

      • We are well aware of adoption options, thank you.

      • a) adoption is not easy, cheap, or the right choice for everyone. Just because someone is having trouble getting pregnant does not make them an ideal or even a willing adoptive parent, which is critical for kids who need adoptive families.

        b) people who have been trying to have kids for two years and are using IUI don’t need you to tell them that adoption exists.

        c) If someone was sad because their dog ran away, would your response be “hey I hear snakes make great pets”? No. You would express your sympathies or offer advice on how you found your lost cat or something.

  • Rave: A few days in Baltimore at a simulation and gaming conference, great visit with my Balt. based sister, made time to go to a wholesale garden supply place (that sells to the public), Lexington Market (best crab cakes) and my favorite Italian deli for a resupply of Amaretti cookies and other necessary things.
    Rave: Made one of the NY Times recipes (from Oct 7) for grain bowls – so easy, so good. And leftovers for lunch.
    Rant-ish: No lunch, or breakfast, until after MD appointment.

    • Amaretti cookies are my favorite topping to pumpkin or butternut squash pasta dishes. If you haven’t tried it, do so! Some brown butter, pumpkin ravioli, parm, and amaretti. I’m sure, if you eat meat, something like crispy panchetta on top would also be good.

      • Sounds delicious! Although at the rate I’m going the cookies will be gone before I make a pumpkin/squash dish.
        Think I have to hide the cookies from myself : )

  • Rave: Took a much-needed four-day weekend
    Rave: Husband and I decided to stay in DC instead of go out of town and went to a bunch of places we usually don’t get to see.
    Rave: Tried both Osteria Morini and Rose’s Luxury for the first time and both were outstanding. Also went to the Eden Center and had a yummy banh mi and mangosteen smoothie.
    Rave: Not even sad to be back at work.

  • I Dont Get It

    Rave: The nice young woman who cut my hair last night. She had only been in DC 30 days (from Kansas) and it was fun talking to someone new and excited about the city. I had forgotten what that feels like!

    Rant: What’s up with this whack weather today?

  • Rant: Silverfish!!! Those things are gross.
    Rave: Fun weekend catching up with friends and playing games at Board Room.

    • binpetworth

      Oh, man I hear you on that rant. I was just thinking to myself how I’m happy it’s finally fall because my resident silverfish seem to go into hiding once the weather cools off.

      • I actually didn’t see the first one until a couple weeks ago and there was another one this morning! 🙁 I’m hoping it’s just because it’s unseasonably warm today. I want/need them to go away!

  • Rave: I took yesterday off to have brunch with my family and bottle my beer. Both were great and Meridian Pint was wonderful and accommodating. I think this beer is actually going to be good. I’m getting impatient waiting though.
    Rave: my three year old niece doesn’t know what candy corn is, so she didn’t eat it, she just put it in my nesting doll measuring cups and shook it.
    Rant: Slept like crap last night and have a 7 am meeting tomorrow. Big mistake.
    Rave: I sold my sofa for pretty much what I wanted to get for it and it was gone before my family got into town. I love Craig’s List.

  • hispanicandproud

    Rave: Had an awesome time running the Chicago marathon this weekend. Not my best marathon finish but considering I had two injuries I didn’t care! I smiled the whole way and enjoyed every second and every mile. The Latino neighborhood was fantastic and Boystown was extremely fun.

    Rave: When I got home I still was on a high so signed up for Los Angeles marathon in March six weeks before I run the Big Sur marathon in April! Can’t wait.

    Rave: Who would have ever thought I’d be a marathon runner in my 40s. Best decade ever!

    • Congrats! Way to go – what an awesome accomplishment. Hopefully you’re not too sore. Best of luck with the next ones.

      • hispanicandproud

        Thanks, UDPie. I went from couch to 5k four years ago and haven’t really stopped. I owe a lot of it to someone I used to know and of course to my running group.

  • Rave: Loved everything about the long weekend. The dreary weather was perfect for watching way too many movies and trying new shows on Netflix. I watched Chef, Gone Girl, and Your Sister’s Sister– really liked Chef and Your Sister’s Sister, still can’t decide how I feel about Gone Girl.
    Rant: Waking up was tough this morning.
    Rave: Teleworking tomorrow.
    Rant: Have to get 3 fillings. Ugh.

    • I’m with you on Gone Girl. I’ve seen it twice now, read a bunch of articles and listened to a few podcasts about it — and still don’t know how I feel about it. Apparently slightly obsessive, if nothing else.

      • I’m glad I’m not the only one! The friends I went with to see it all loved it. I’ve read a few articles trying to find something compelling to help me form an actual opinion but still nothing.

      • This sounds similar to my obsession with Black Swan. Now I need to see Gone Girl.

  • Rave: Surprise 3 day weekend (I’m unemployed but I forgot the husband got yesterday off, so woohoo!) Completed so many tasks this weekend. Got the house feeling like a home (including a successful trip to Ikea and beasting putting together that ikea cabinet).

    Rant: Want to head out to the barn today but with no job-search work done yesterday, I feel like I need to put in the hours…

    Rant: DDOT signs regarding bikers on sidewalks – why is this a rant? (1) I have only seen them in places where it is LEGAL to bike on the sidewalk and (2) they say something like “everyone’s safer when bikers use the street” – which is false. Bikers, where legal, can and should use the sidewalk when they feel unsafe on the roadway and its a good decision to do so in certain areas (obviously while respecting other users).

    Rave: At least DDOT is trying to educate drivers a bit too with the bus wrapped with safety ads.

  • Rave: Had a fantastic dinner at Dino’s Grotto Saturday night. Went there when it first opened and this was my first time back and everything was great. Hoping they do well in that space.

  • binpetworth

    Rave: Velati’s caramels. I bought a batch of pumpkin and vanilla cashew flavored ones when I was in Silver Spring yesterday and am in heaven.

  • Rant: Both my wife and I are stupid-tired today. Too many days of waking up too early and dealing with a clingy, cranky toddler. Ugh. We were seriously considering a second, but now we’re reconsidering. 4:45am is not an appropriate time to be up for the day! Where did my awesome-sleeping, sleep until 7:30 or 8am and then play in her crib kid go?

    Rave: Pretty nice weekend despite the lack of sleep and despite the clingy, cranky toddler who wants to be attached to me and no one else. (That didn’t sound like a rave, did it. Oops. Sadly, that’s all I got!)

    • Oh! A real rave! I feared drop-off would be a clingy cranky mess especially given the early wake up, etc. However, kiddo was really easy going and excited to get engaged in things, didn’t even notice me leave. So yay for that! And then I got on a train going the wrong direction and ended up in Rosslyn instead of Fed Ctr SW. Ugh. In my defense, first time dropping off to new location & auto-pilot from one end of Farragut West doesn’t work for the other end. Oh wait, that was supposed to be a rave. Oops.

    • Quick question- when did the “wake up and play in the crib” stage end for you? We’re just past the year mark and she’s still good about that. We’re considering a second, and since it will be a couple of years (at least) from the time we decide until anything happens, we need to decide sooner rather than later. But we haven’t had the joy of “WAKE UP NOW!” since she was super young and still eating every 3 months…..

      • PDleftMtP

        Not the OP, but we’re still in that stage at 20 months. Ours is a world-champion sleeper, though.

      • Ugh, I meant when she was about 3 months and eating about every 3 HOURS. I blame lack of sleep. 🙂

      • Honestly, our problems started about a month ago when we went to Seattle for 10 days. (She’s 16mo now) She had a rough time sleeping at her grandfather’s house, and then hasn’t really settled into a groove since. But we’ve had molars coming in for the last few weeks as well (two have popped through, waiting on the other two). I’m wondering if one of those toys that you hang on the side of the crib that can light up/play music might help a little bit since it’s now so dark when she wakes up (even when she wakes at normal time), so she probably can’t see her books to read. Or maybe a nightlight? But I also don’t want that to disturb her sleep. Either way, I don’t know if this is related to the travel/jet lag or if it would have happened with the molars anyways. We’re consideing #2 as well but are a little gunshy at present to say the least!

        • We got an aquarium that hooks on the side of the crib that she could push a button to turn on. It was and continues to be a lifesaver.

          Change in routine is a killer for our 2yo, it can take a while to get back on track. However, many times if you give a kid 15 min after getting up super early, they usually go back to bed, at least it worked for us.

          • The last couple of times, I rocked her and/or laid on the bed in her room with her, and no dice. And this was for at least 30-45 minutes this morning and over an hour over the weekend. That worked for us in the past few weeks, but not these last few days. 🙁

    • SFT

      This rant makes me scared for daylight savings to end. I mean, do we just take our licks and wake up an hour earlier for the next 5 months? Or do we figure a way to sleep train him to wake up later. We’ve been working on pushing his bedtime back a few minutes every night, but it’s not working.

      • In my experience, you can’t train a kid to wake up when you want them to. Put them to bed late, and they’ll just wake up at their normal time and be extra cranky.

        • PDleftMtP

          Not my experience with things like time zone shifts or daylight savings. No, we can’t force her to do anything, but we’ve more or less ignored time zones and time changes and just gone by the clock, and ours adjusts pretty quickly. I don’t mean that anybody else is wrong, just that there’s almost no point in looking at how other kids react. You just have to adapt to yours. It’s almost like they’re independent little people or something. 🙂

  • Rave: I found Gilmore Girls on Netflix.
    Rant: The too-scripted but still-awesome banter only barely makes up for the godawful saccharine theme song and its ability to become an earworm.

  • Rave: Helping a friend take her girls trick or treating for Halloween! So excited!
    Rave: I adore Halloween decorations. Maybe because my mother never let us celebrate because it was the devil’s holiday!
    Interesting note: Someone ranted yesterday about people painting pumpkins. I’ll do my PSA for family members with kids with bad allergies. Painting your pumpkin teal signals to kids with allergies that you have some non-food treats available for them. I had never thought about it until last year reading a post on facebook that her daughter could only keep three pieces of candy from her trick or treating and cried herself to sleep because she wasn’t like the other kids/her little sister. Broke my heart.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Sweden: It’s shrimp sandwich day in Sweden, because Sweden is awesome.

  • GiantSquid

    Rant: had a seriously sore neck and shoulders for past week and half. I know part of it is tension from stress.
    Revel: switched my regular pillow for feather pillow last night. Slept better and no neck and shoulder soreness. Love easy, inexpensive fixes!
    Rant: Last week at work. Packing up my desk makes me sad.
    Revel: Won’t have the cleaning lady rotating my orchid anymore.
    Rant: Cleaned out the fridge last night: Wasted food.
    Revel: Cleaned out the fridge last night: found delicious things like banana chocolate chip pancakes and chicken apple sausage. Breakfast was great this morning!

  • Rave: Had my first online date last Saturday, and I survived.
    Rant: No second date in the books. Not surprising.
    Rant: Added online date on FB per his request. Why did I do that?! What is my problem?!

    • You can always unfriend him. If you don’t see yourself dating him, or being his friend, then you don’t owe him a window to your life. There is no Facebook police that will come to your house and arrest you for removing friends you don’t actually want to have. I promise. 🙂

      • The thing is, I do like him. I’m not sure if he likes me. And I would totally be his friend if this whole dating thing doesn’t work out (I mean, at this point, we’re probably not gonna date again.) Decisions.

        • If you like him, just email or text him and ask him out. Why not? After the guy I’m seeing now asked me out, and sent me a ‘had a good time’ text after our first date but didn’t ask for a second date, I texted him the next day with a plan and he said Yes! Seize the day!

  • Rant: going throiugh a breakup right now, technically its been about a month…
    really confused on wether i should keep trying or just begin to move on
    been together 4-5 years (taking things very seriously)
    things blew up that shouldnt have (female emotion fueled lol)

    we spoke daily all day for a while but its been more sporadic the past week or so
    i know ideally we both want things to work out, but this isnt an ideal world

    she is “dating” someone else (rebound foolishness) but was brought to tears when informing me about it
    just at a loss myself

    • “things blew up that shouldnt have (female emotion fueled lol)” and “(rebound foolishness)”— As a female, let me suggest that dismissing her feelings as “blowing up things that shouldn’t be” and labeling her independent choices as “foolishness” might be one reason your relationship took a turn for the worse.

      • its been admitted that things were blown out of proportion by her, that wasnt an assumption
        never dismissed feelings but things could have been handled better. decisions were made on temp emotions
        & to jump from a long relationship to “seriously dating” someone in 2-3 weeks seems like a stretch in everyones books.

        • Emmaleigh504

          You should just move on.

        • She admitted blowing things out of proportion, but started seeing someone else and “seriously” so it seems. Step away and get some distance. If you find your way back to each other in the future, okay, but right now I think you’d be better off not trying to force something that doesn’t seem to be working.

        • What was an assumption was that she blew things out of proportion because of her “female” emotions. They’re just emotions.

        • Less than a month out a 4yrs relationship and seriously dating someone? Yeah that’s crazy of both of them.

          • thank you… glad to see im not the only one that thinks that lol
            i mean i was informed about it all, other guy just got out of a relationship as well etc etc
            sorry if foolish isnt the best way of describing it but the whole idea seems to be just that to me, foolish
            & its just so strange how she was brought to tears while telling me about it and kept repeating how she did not expect to feel that way while informing me

            either way seems like space may be best. just a tuff pill to swallow i guess

          • Accountering

            I disagree. I started seeing Andie about two months out of a just as serious relationship. Everyone heals at their own pace, and mine was incredibly quick – I think in large part due to the circumstances of our break-up, but people heal at different paces, and I was (and am) very ready to move on with my life.

      • I thought the same thing.

      • Agreed with Allison.
        And all the passive voice (“[she] was brought to tears,” “it’s been admitted,” “things were blown out of proportion,” “things could have been handled better,” “decisions were made”) makes me wonder if the OP is trying to avoid holding him(?)self accountable for anything.

        • Yeah the passive voice sounds like if she did admit to blowing things out of proportion, it was possibly because he cajoled her into doing so. “Aren’t you blowing things out of proportion, sweetie?” (And haven’t we all had that conversation. -_-)

          • Emmaleigh504

            I feel like she’s dodged a bullet. Of course, we only have his side of the situation, so maybe I’m wrong.

        • Also, any kind of relationship post-mortem analysis that’s followed by “lol” is hard to take seriously.

          • SFT

            Pretty much anything followed by ‘lol’ is hard to take seriously. I hate ‘lol’ with every fiber of my being!

          • Accountering

            I am having a hard time dealing with the overall lack of punctuation and spelling errors. Don’t normally call people on them, but this one is pretty bad.
            I agree with the above though, you all broke up for a reason. Give it some time, go find yourself etc.

          • There’s a reason this is included in the standard R&R language:
            “no need to correct people’s grammar”

    • PDleftMtP

      Without getting all judgey on anyone, either party’s acted-on desire to go be in a relationship with someone else is tough to come back from. Doesn’t really matter whether the reason is good, bad, or indifferent. “Why” is one of the more unhelpful questions one can ask, in my experience.

      • PDleftMtP

        And, btw, I was never this zen about my own life. I’m just saying things rarely turn out well from here, so moving on might be the most practical approach.

  • Rave: I politely suggested to someone parallel parking on my street that a car could fit behind hers if she moved up closer to the car in front of hers. The driver looked perplexed but moved up. I don’t even have a car but it was satisfying nonetheless.

  • Rant – guy hanging out of his truck this morning wolf whistling/making suggestive comments to me as I walked to my office (through a heavy traffic/low pedestrian area in the suburbs). I really want to ask those guys if that’s ever worked for them/do they realize how threatening it feels? Ug, street harassment.
    Rave – haircut today! Ready for a change.
    Rant – No idea why I am so tired ALL the time despite 8 hours sleep/working out/eating passably. This is getting old.

  • (potential) rave: I’ve started looking for a new apartment to rent. Is my first impression wrong, or has the rental market shifted a bit towards us renters? At least compared to the previous 2-3 years (and those of us not interested in the new luxury apartments)…

    • I certainly hope so. Finding my current apartment was a nightmare, so I’m really not looking forward to doing it again when the lease ends.

    • Try looking in Southwest (i.e. near Waterfront metro station). There are tons of affordable, metro accessible apartments/condos-for-rent-by-owner. None of them are the sparkling spanky new stuff you might see popping up in NW, but it’s been just right for us!

  • Rave: Boss asked me if I wanted her to try to find a way to weasel me in as a full-fledged fed (currently a Schedule C). A nice complement and possible guarantee of full-time, forever work!
    Rant: Accepting means kind of (mentally, anyway) giving up on that dream job that’s been just an interview away a couple of times.
    Rave: Reasonable hours, lots of time for rowing and morning sex, low stress, and a more money than I’m probably worth as I coast towards retirement.
    Rant: Been in Washington too long not to define myself by my (current, low-ish status) job.

  • skj84

    Rant: Major blowout fight with my Aunt over the basement situation. She has this mindset that things need to be done her way and won’t even entertain any of my suggestions. It’s to the point that I’ve been talking to her through my dad, her brother. He is the only person she will listen to. At least my stuff is still in the basement.

    Rave: Got a job offer! It’s not exactly my dream job, but it is something.

    • Congratulations on the job offer!
      Hope you manage to work things out with your aunt. I imagine the living situation is tough for both of you.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Congrats on the job!

    • Do you think it’s possible she was using the mold cleaning/gotta-move-your-furniture-my-way-or-the-highway as an excuse to set up an incentive for you to move out without actually having to ask you? Just trying to figure out what her motivation might be, because it seems like something slightly deeper.

      • skj84

        She’s trying to prep the house to sell. Which I get. And I honestly would rather live elsewhere. But I think she doesn’t necessarily take my situation into equation. Nor does she communicate well. She will tell me things last minute then expect me to change my plans around to pick up the slack. She has this tunnel vision, she’s so focused on getting the things she wants done she doesn’t take my opinion into equation. If I were living free it would be one thing, but I’m paying her rent. Plus’s she’s my family, I feel she’s treating me worse than she’d treat a stranger living in her house.

    • “She has this mindset that things need to be done her way and won’t even entertain any of my suggestions.”
      If memory serves, this is the aunt who is letting you live with her, rent-free, in her house, while you are (or were) unemployed? Why shouldn’t things be done her way?

      • skj84

        I’m not living rent free. I’m paying to stay with her. She tells me that I have to move my stuff that I didn’t even want to store in the basement because of the mold issue. I’ve asked if I can store my clothes in the attic, the spare bedroom, somewhere that is not the basement. I get a no. She didn’t offer any help finding storage space, or to actually move everything, knowing full well I don’t drive or have a car. Seriously if you had to live with this woman you’d get my frustration. It’s like she lacks empathy, she doesn’t listen at all. Once I spoke to my dad he finally was able to talk her down, but when I made an effort? Nothing. I spent a good part of the late evening yesterday carrying clothes to my room while she just stands there and watches me. Didn’t offer to help me carry anything up and down the stairs. And then laughed at me when I voiced my frustration. This morning was even worse.

        • Your aunt sounds like a wonderful person…

          • She sounds extremely challenging — but she’s also opened her home to an unemployed relative who needs a place to stay, at the loss of her own convenience and privacy.
            skj84 –Congrats on the job offer. I hope things work out for you!!!!

        • I’m confused – I believe you wrote recently that you needed to find a job so you can move. But, if you’re paying rent, what’s the barrier to moving?

          • I’m guessing the rent she’s paying her aunt is lower than the cost of a studio apartment, and group homes probably aren’t keen on accepting an unemployed person.

          • My first two guesses would be that she might not be paying her aunt market rent for her own apartment/or she’s paying what she would be paying to live in a group house.
            If that’s the case, then she most likely needs a job lined up to even be considered to be interviewed for a group house.
            If she wants her own place, she’ll most likely need have a job to be considered a credible applicant by the leasing agency.

          • skj84

            Correct. I’m paying way less than I would normally pay in this area. And most rental applications do require a job for signing on. Or a paystub. What I was making with unemployment was enough to get by, but not enough for market rate rental. At lease until I could save up.

        • Oof… I’m guessing (hoping) your aunt doesn’t have kids of her own, otherwise I would imagine you would have additional allies in dealing with her besides having to communicate to her through your dad. That, or she does have kids and they don’t talk to her anymore.
          From what you’ve said, she kind of reminds me of my Step-mom (who doesn’t have kids of her own)… but worse, which I didn’t know was possible.
          I hope your new job offer turns into you moving out on your own.
          Good luck with everything!

        • Your aunt sounds like a piece of work, but viewing things from her perspective for just a minute… if she’s trying to sell her house, that comes with a number of stresses. One of which is the realtor breathing down her neck about “staging” the house and keeping it spotless and removing all traces that people actually live there. So moving your stuff from the basement to the attic to the spare room is not helping, it’s just relocating the problem (from her point of view).

    • Yay for the job offer!

    • major congrats on the offer!! something is something alright.

  • Rave – A much needed three day weekend. I did so much packing and cleaning getting ready for the move, I caught up on sleep, I cooked good food, threw out a bunch of junk and clutter, and binge-watched the Big Bang Theory.
    Rant – I was stupid tired this morning. I forgot to brush my teeth this morning (gross) and I left the house still wearing my slippers.
    Rave – Had to send back my engagement ring to get resized and I got it back yesterday! Today is the first time I’m wearing it out in public 🙂

  • Bear

    Rant: Slept like crap last night. Also forgot to put on makeup this morning. Wouldn’t be a huge deal, I’m not someone who needs to have her “face” on all the time, but a handful of coworkers have made comments on how tired I look today. Thanks, guys.
    Rave: Terrible boss is away for the week.

    • I once had a coworker tell me, “You look as tired as I feel.” Seriously? Some people just don’t think these things through. Hope your day gets better!

    • I used to do this too! I still slip up every once in awhile, but now I try to say “You sound tired,” or I’ll lead by saying that I’m tired, which gives them the chance to vent if they need to. If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure your coworkers hearts were in the right place? Also, I’m sure you look perfectly fine.

  • Rave: Finally completed my first (long and laborous) attempt at creating 2 slideshows on PowerPoint. Google images is amazing!

    Rant: Most computer program instructions still really suck. I’m reasonably savvy, but it’s like they just invent ways to trip you up and you don’t even know what exactly to ask. A souffle is not that hard to make, but you have to certain things right. You can’t just say “separate the eggs” to someone from an eggless planet. What does that mean? Put the shells in one bowl and the insides in another? Separate the brown eggs from the white ones?

    Rave: Leaving for the Wisconsin Book Festival tomorrow with my fancy little flash drive powerpoints all ready!

  • Rant: morning sickness. wading through this wave of constant nausea sucks.
    Rave: realize it could be so much worse. Not puking my guts out (yet).

  • Rant: flat tire on ride to work today – didn’t have a spare, ended up really late to work.
    Rant: had thought about calling sick as I’m feeling blah lately.
    Neither a rant nor a rave: thinking about growing a beard again but I kind of don’t like my beard once it’s in – maybe I’ll have the patience to go full mountain man this time.
    Rant: a few years ago, a much loved coworker passed away after a quick battle with cancer. At the funeral, there were so many great stories of her and her husband and their love. Today, I found out the husband killed himself.
    Rave: looking forward to working on a remix project tonight

  • Is anyone else missing Justinbc here today? I thought the personal attacks in yesterday’s RAR thread were pretty terrible and hope he hasn’t been scared away by them.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I don’t think he would be scared away. He’s probably just busy with something else. I’m sure he’ll be back later today or tomorrow.
      Anonymous was pretty mean yesterday. I guess they were pissed they had to work.

      • +1. It seemed pretty clear that this was about the troll’s problem, not Justin’s.

        • Accountering

          I agree… They were complaining about their personal financial situation etc. While I sympathize, no reason to go in on Justin for it.

    • Nah, people have picked on him before, and it doesn’t seem to faze him. He’ll be back. I mean, he’s our unofficial social coordinator after all!

    • Prince Of Petworth

      These people are always anonymous trolls – I usually delete them pretty quickly but I was at the movies yesterday seeing Gone Girl 🙂

    • If everyone would refrain from making an unkind Office Space reference in respoonse to this post . . . that would be great.

      • Ooh what’s the Office Space reference? I have a Big Lebowski-style way if repeating stuff I’ve heard without realizing it. It’s usually hilarious to everyone but me at the time!

        • Note: This is not my feeling on this issue, just the line that came to mind:
          “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”
          “I wouldn’t say I’ve been *missing* it, Bob.”

    • justinbc

      Thanks Shawess 🙂 I’ve been posting on forums like these for 20 years now, I can assure you there’s really nothing that would scare me away other than boredom. People on other forums are much more nasty, some even try to dig up dirt on my past relationships just to get to me (actually one person did try that here too), but that doesn’t work either. I know they’re all just trolling, sometimes I’ll entertain them and sometimes just ignore it. Most of the time Dan winds up deleting it anyway, so there’s usually not much point in responding.

      • justinbc

        But fiscal year end + working on a refinance for one of our properties has me super swamped this week! Blargh.

      • “some even try to dig up dirt on my past relationships just to get to me (actually one person did try that here too),”
        Seriously? That’s . . . a little disturbing. More than a little, actually. Yikes.

  • Query: Many folks here seem to use Freecycle successfully. Any advice before I post a sofa for giveaway?

    • Post pictures. You’ll likely get several takers. I personally don’t like strangers in my house, so I always bring the item down to them, but many people say the taker needs to carry the item out (especially since it’s a sofa). Also, good idea to post a day when it’s available for pickup, so you can minimize inquiries to those who can actually pick it up that day.

    • My key to FreeCycle – be specific! Ask for the person’s name, means of contact , time available for pick-up (including when you want to be rid of it) and specify what they need to move it (truck, car, friends, etc). Screen out based on people who can actually follow directions and you’ll hopefully end up with someone not flaking out! I’ve had pretty good luck overall, and love things getting a second chance.

    • I’d recommend posting pictures and also providing dimensions and a reasonably detailed description (for example, if there are any faded spots/tears, and if so, where). Specify what kind of environment the sofa comes from — smoke-free? Pet-free? (If not, what kind of pets?) Kid-free?
      You’ll be able to get a sense from the responses as to which respondents sound likely to follow through, and which ones sound like potential flakes. Trust your instincts and (as CaitB says) screen out respondents who can’t follow directions.

      • Screening out people by asking for specific info is really good advice. You’re giving something for free, don’t feel bad about not giving it to the first person who responds, especially if that is going to create more hassle for you by creating a lot of back and forth messages. Give it to the person who makes it easiest for you.
        When I moved I posted tons of stuff on freecycle and I would always get cryptic replies in less than 1 minute of posting the item. Most of these were flea market or resales types, who were (a) difficult to set a time with and (b) not exactly what I had in mind when I offered items on freecycle. I took to asking for a random but of info (tell me who won last weekend’s football game or whatever). After enduring lots of fruitless emails before doing that, once I screened people who actually had read the message everything went out the door painlessly.

        • I think it’s sometimes better NOT to ask for the specific info in your initial posting, but in the replies instead.
          I found that when I asked for that info in the initial posting, just about everyone obliged… but some of them subsequently turned out to be flakes. The best candidates are the ones who will _volunteer_ specifics (“I can pick this up on Thursday after 7:30 p.m.”) without your having to ask for it.
          Going with the interested party from PoPville in this situation might be a very good idea. I was frustrated with two consecutive Freecycle no-shows for a sewing machine I was trying to give away. Someone from PoPville was interested in it, and she followed through and picked it up. (And also put in my mailbox some unrelated documents that had made their way into the bag!)

    • KSB

      And if you’d rather bypass Freecycle and go straight through Popville to give away your sofa… I’m looking for a comfy sofa for our basement if this will fit the bill. Happy to spare you the Freecycle process!

  • My Rant – maybe your Revel? I just found a big hidden Trombetta squash in the garden – it’s an Italian heirloom variety that tastes like artichoke hearts. Anyone want it? My freezer is full of it, I’ve been eating it every day and my friends are also overloaded. I’m going away tomorrow and it doesn’t keep well – anyone? Come and get it! I live right near the Columbia Heights Metro on Irving St.

    • I’d love to take it (and happy to share seeds with anyone else interested). Can you send your address to my yahoo?

      • Yay – just did. I hadn’t thought about seeds. But weren’t we going to do a gin and gardening thing? I’m back in town Oct. 21 and would love to do this. Let’s talk!

        • I was thinking that a big squash (vision of big fat oversized squash) wouldn’t be edible. Sounds like I can eat it, and save the seeds!

        • Your message hasn’t come thru – could you re-send? It didn’t go to spam – might be stuck somewhere along the way. Thanks!

    • Bear

      If I lived nearby I’d totally want it – artichoke hearts are one of my all time favorite foods. Now I’m going to try and find seeds of this Trombetta squash for next year…

  • Late in the day Rant: Rude telemarketers. I’ve gotten calls on my cell phone offering me the opportunity to “lower my interest rates”. I’ve tried staying on the line and politely asking them to take my name out of their data base — and the person on the other end has hung up on me. When I’ve called to complain, I’ve also been hung up on, and spoken to rudely. My number is registered with the Do Not Call list, and I rarely give it out. It burns me up that our business-friendly culture makes it okay for someone to get my number, use my minutes, interrupt my day, and treat me rudely — just because they can. Grrrrrr.

  • Rant: These Skins!
    Rave: Hood spot—Daily Fish of Chesepeake 6 piece with mumbo sauce on the side.

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