Support Group, DC Nurture, Created for those dealing with pregnancy loss and fertility issues

Photo by PoPville flickr user fromcaliw/love

“Dear PoPville,

A new group was created on the Random Reader Rant and Revel yesterday. DC Nurture is geared toward women who have experienced pregnancy loss and/or fertility issues. Some other posters and I found that women facing these issues tend to deal with them in isolation just when support is really needed.

I was thinking was to have some semi-structured meetings in a private, relaxed setting — maybe rotating homes — on whatever schedule people agree on. We could invite professional facilitators, therapists, etc. (or not). It will depend on what people want to do. I am a member of a professional group that runs this way and it’s a really terrific, supportive environment.

I’d be happy to host the first meeting at my house in Shaw.

People can find me/us through this email address — dcnurture(at) or through the website DC Nurture.

Thanks for listening!

Beth, DC Nurture”

32 Comment

  • What a wonderful idea.

  • I think it’s great that you started this. I haven’t yet tried to have children, but it’s good to know that this resource is there for when I do.

  • KSB

    This is a fantastic idea. I wrote about my pregnancy loss and submitted it to a mommy-blog site (it’ll be published tomorrow) and just the process of thinking through the feelings, writing them down and sending them out to the universe was incredibly cathartic. And the editor commented that it was something so many women could identify with, which made me both incredibly sad but comforted at the same time. Thank you, Beth!

    • Thanks to all the posters! KSB, I’d really like to read your story if you want to share it by email at dcnurture(at) . I’m one of those people who definitely finds comfort in knowing that there are a lot of other people going through similar things. I find it amazing that 20-30% of women, almost all near my own age, and dealing with these issues and that many of us don’t have enough of the right outlets to process them. I’m glad you found a way to do this through writing. And of course I welcome you to join our group if you could use the extra support.

  • I’m so happy to see more support being available for people who have endured child loss or infertility IN DC. There are many groups outside of DC, but they can be difficult to get to, especially if you don’t have a car.

    After losing my daughter to stillbirth 2 years ago, I too felt very lonely and isolated. Thus, I started an informal support group for both mothers and fathers who have endured perinatal loss a few months ago. We typically meet the second Tuesday of the month at the Northeast Library. We have a Google Group that I’m happy to add anyone to here:!forum/dc-perinatal-loss-peer-support-group. We will also be affiliating with the MISS Foundation once I complete my training.

    Beth, this is so amazing. I emailed you offline and would love to chat more to see how our groups could complement each other.

    • Just responded! I’m so glad you reached out, Erin! And yes, not having a car does make it tough to find groups. I’ve heard there are good ones in Silver Spring and Rockville, but there’s little chance I’ll make it out there on any kind of regular basis.

    • Definitely check out Erin’s group, everyone! It looks really great and may be more convenient for people near Capitol Hill.

  • This is a wonderful idea. I have been married for over 6 years and I am in my 30s so, for some reason, people think its acceptable to ask me when I am going to have kids. I’m just not there in life but I get that question literally all the time (twice a week at least). For me, who isn’t trying, it’s just annoying. But I keep thinking how terribly insensitive the question is for women struggling with issues of fertility or loss of a pregnancy. Women really do suffer in silence on this issue – glad some will find comfort in this support group.

    • Amen to it being annoying when people ask that question or, worse, suggest that it’s about time that you “got on with it already.” It’s one of my biggest pet peeves!

    • So true. I’m not really in a place where people really ask those sorts of questions or where they bother me, but I’ve had a lot of friends comment lately on how frustrating it is to be asked when they’re going to get married or have children, when they have no desire to do either, particularly the latter. In these cases, these kinds of comments are at best, intrusive, but we have no idea what kind of struggles or challenges someone is facing, and they may in fact be hurtful, damaging, demoralizing. A woman’s uterus is no one’s business but her own, and what you might think is small talk feels like a punch to the gut.

    • Please tell these people to mind their own business. My guess is that they do this to multiple women frequently and are too obtuse to realize that they are saying this to infertile/TTC females who are already feeling bad. They need to be put in their place.

  • I missed yesterday’s R&R so I’ll have to go back to see how this sprang up, but in the mean time, I applaud the popville community as always for not just talking, but taking action to support one another.

  • This is what I love about PoPville. When, almost ‘magically’ a group forms to support its own where there formerly was none. So much better than when we’re ‘piling on’ someone over (primarily) insignificant matters.

    • Yeah, I have to give Dan and the PoPville community a big thank you for their support here. I’m not sure how people in DC would find out so much about what’s happening in the community without this resource or Dan’s responsiveness and really appreciate the super warm response you all have given me/us this morning.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Popville is really great that way.

  • Ditto on this being a wonderful idea! It took me a while to get pregnant and I really needed someone to “rant” to. I started a “rant” thread on dcurbanmom (modeled after popville of course!) where folks just ranted about TTCing, and I reread it constantly whenever I felt blue. A forum such as the one Beth is putting together, however, is a much better idea and I hope everyone finds it cathartic and helpful as you go through this difficult time.

  • I do not think I will have children (long story and I’m ok with the choice). This is a great initiative to support women. I’ve had many friends with fertility problems and it’s so hush hush that they cannot find a safe place to discuss their emotions. Kudos!

  • Beth- Thank you for posting such a fantastic resource. I am 34 and have been trying to get pregnant for over three years. We have gone through multiple IVF cycles without any success. It is a very lonely and isolating place to be, especially when surrounded by countless friends expecting their first, second, or third child. This process has taken over our lives and I can’t tell you how helpful it has been to connect with others who are dealing with the same struggles.

  • Can men get involved in this group as well?

    • Hi Gary – I can’t speak for Beth, but our group (that meets at the Northeast Library)is open to men and women. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions:!forum/dc-perinatal-loss-peer-support-group.

    • Absolutely — it hadn’t even occurred to me that I wasn’t being inclusive and I apologize for that. After getting more feedback today, I’ll update the website.

      One thing that occurred to me today was that we could add a PoPville-like message board to the site so people can share stories and information anonymously without having to meet in person. This might be a way to connect to more men, since I think (for now) that women might want to meet on their own (?). I’ll have to look into the technical side of that — I’m no website specialist, but Squarespace makes these things pretty easy.

    • And if there are any interested men out there, please feel free to contact me/us so we can keep you posted! I’ve been a bit overwhelmed (in a wonderful way) by all of the support for this project and haven’t had a chance to update the site yet, but we definitely want to include men in the conversation.

  • I’m not sure if anyone is still looking at this post, but just in case, I’ll mention that I just added a “forum” section to the website to start a conversation even among people who might not be interested in/ready for in-person meetings. It’s still in a super, super beta mode, but please feel free to check it out!

  • Going through treatments to deal with infertility was very isolating when I went through that a few years ago. So glad this resource is now available.

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