Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user k-willow

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

263 Comment

  • Rave: lights in L’enfant Plaza metro! I wish that stinky stop could always be that bright. Sadly it looks to be temporary due to metro work.
    Rave: VAMOS ARGENTINA!!! (my motherland)
    Rant: Headache from celebrating Argentina’s victory a little too hard last night ; )

  • gotryit

    (Long) Rant: With all the bike vs. car nastiness from the Washington Post yesterday, I had this stuff on my mind while biking home. Within two blocks on 15th street northbound, I see two near collisions. First, a lady on a bike blows through a red light for bikes / left turn arrow for cars – right in front of a person in an SUV turning left, who luckily braked in time. Two blocks later, a person in a pickup truck turns left with a red left turn arrow and a green light for bikes to go straight. This was about 20 feet in front of me… so thanks.
    Really disheartening…

    • I actually witnessed the bus I was on (14th street) almost take out a bicyclist this morning, resulting in a shouting match between the cyclist and the driver. I see so many cyclists blow through red lights without even looking, that I often wonder if they have a death wish. This morning’s incident was around Thomas Circle and there was just no room to share the road with a cyclist who wasn’t in lane. What’s the solution here though?

      • gotryit

        Thomas Circle has a bike lane. If the guy wasn’t in it, was there a reason? Like the bike lane continues down Vermont when I want to go down 14th (I take that route often).
        So the solution is for me (or him) to merge into the middle of the right general lane in a safe / predictable manner and for a bus or car to wait behind me or pass in the next lane to the left.
        In general, the lanes in DC are not wide enough for sharing side by side between a bike and a car. In a few spots there are 11-12′ wide lanes that are ok for this.

    • I wonder about this myself. A few nights ago on Maine Ave. I was behind a cyclist who was in the left lane. She was a good bit ahead of me. She STOPPED dead in the center of the left lane to try to allow pedestrians who were on the median to jaywalk! I had seen her before, and just changed lanes and went around her. The pedestrians smartly stayed on the median where they belonged. I wonder what would have happenened if I had been drunk/distracted/speeding/on my cell phone.

      • gotryit

        Wow. That “stop so people can jaywalk in front of you” seems like a southern thing. I’m from NY, and would never jaywalk in front of a car. So occasionally, usually in VA, I end up in a stalemate with someone waving me in front of their car, and me waving them to move so I can jaywalk behind them.
        I can’t imagine doing that on a bike either. That said, I will stop for people waiting to cross in a crosswalk (unsignaled) and that really pisses off some drivers. I find it a lot easier to see / stop for people when biking.

        • Haha, also a (former) longtime New York dweller, and have ended up in similar stalemates with cars, both in the South and in small town New England. In fact, I’ve had cars stop and wave me ahead when I’m not even TRYING to jaywalk behind them or even at a crosswalk, but rather have both feet planted firmly on the sidewalk waiting for traffic to clear. But my mother, who is a longtime driver, does often slow down to let pedestrians jaywalk in front of her–she’s afraid that once someone has started into the street, they might try to dart in front of her car. We’re always at odds over it when I drive with her. I try to tell her she doesn’t need to stop because the pedestrians are timing their crossing so that they pass BEHIND her car, not in front of it. (Understandably, the prospect of potentially hitting someone freaks her out though…and I guess it’s better to be more cautious as opposed to less.)

  • Rant: The mess that is Israel and Palestine.
    Rave: Work has been interesting and engaging lately.
    Rave: I had a fun, laughter filled dinner with a friend last night.
    Rant: The Netherlands lost last night, but I will be cheering for Argentina in the final.

  • Rant: I didn’t realize my fridge and freezer each have their own controls, so when I thought I was turning them both up, I was just turning up the fridge. However, before I realized this I almost broke a tooth on a frozen chocolate covered banana bite, so there seems to be some overlap. Anyway, the real issue is that I’m dumb and my bourbon ice cream barely froze when I churned it. I do understand that there’s alcohol in it, though it is added when the mixture is quite hot, so I doubt there’s much actual alcohol left. In my old place I didn’t have this problem even though the ambient temperature there was warmer.
    Rave: I got over being dumb, moved the bag of ice out of the way and found the freezer control and turned it down.
    Rave: I’ll just have to make more ice cream to see if that’s going to make the difference.
    Rave: today is my Friday! I love you summer flex time.
    Rant: I got just a smidge too much pleasure in finding out that my jerk ex got really fat. It shouldn’t matter, but the petty part of me cared a little bit.

    • your last rant: no way! i just found out my ex was arrested, and it made my week!!!

      • +1
        mine is dating someone who had gastric bypass surgery and has issues with her. .. umm. . . nether regions. Bwahaha

        • sorry. that seemed insensitive. . . good for her for having the surgery and i feel bad about the issues, but, this chick documents said issues in GREAT detail on social media and has become quite a laughing stock.

          • Hah, you guys are making my day. Now I don’t feel that bad.
            Though, a different ex of mine got engaged last week and I’m thrilled for him. He’s a perfectly fine guy, just not for me.

        • Wow, I thought your rave about your ex getting fat was really shallow when I saw it this morning. I thought reading it again later in the afternoon it might have faded, but something about this really rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve had some pretty bad break-ups, but I couldn’t imagine myself being gleeful over something bad/socially unacceptable happening to them. I get that this is for rants and raves… To each their own I guess.

    • Probably irrelevant now that you’ve found the controls, but alcohol doesn’t evaporate out of a sauces and concoctions nearly as quickly as you’d think.
      Rant: Summer is here and my ice cream maker is not.

      • If you have a KitchenAid and a Bed Bath and Beyond coupon the dream can be yours for a reasonable price. Though, I have heard that a lot of people prefer the stand alone electric ice cream makers partly because you can use an extension cord and run them _in_ the freezer for ever better ice cream. I don’t have space for another small kitchen appliance though.

        • justinbc

          We bought the Lello 4080 Musso Lussino 1.5-Quart Ice Cream Maker ($700) and the Cuisinart ICE-100 Compressor Ice Cream and Gelato Maker (about $300) and tested them side by side over several batches. The Cuisinart Lello was more efficient at producing ice cream on demand, but the Cuisinart was much easier to clean up (removable bowl), lighter to lift and store away, and ultimately produced slightly better texture as well. So we returned the Lello.

          • @Justin — any suggestions for an ice cream maker that won’t break the bank but still works pretty well? I want to try homemade ice cream but don’t want to invest $700 or even $300 really into one. Just askin’ since you seem knowledgeable about all things foodie. 🙂 thx!

          • i have the basic cuisinart standalone ice cream maker that sells for about $60 where you freeze the canister (i just store mine in the freezer) and then churn it on your countertop. it makes great ice cream! it makes ice cream pretty quickly, and then you scoop everything into a tupperware and put the ice cream into the freezer for it to harden fully. i think the ones justin suggested are much more expensive because you don’t have to pre-freeze the canister, but my just chills in the freezer all the time, so i don’t have to plan ahead if i get a sudden making-ice-cream-craving.

          • OK thx jerseygirl! That’s good to know.

          • Yeah, I leave my KitchenAid ice cream bowl in the freezer, partly so I’m ready to make ice cream at any time and also because I don’t have room for it anywhere else.

          • justinbc

            Yeah, for the most part that’s correct. If you have a KitchenAid stand-up mixer there’s also a similar attachment you can buy that’s relatively inexpensive.

          • I bought an ice cream maker last year – debated between the electric and the hand-cranked ice cream maker and went with hand cranked (Donvier is the brand). It’s a few turns every few minutes for about 15 minutes – makes me feel like I’m really making ice cream. That, and positive reviews from folks who have had one for 20+ years.

          • (the basic Cuisinart and the Donvier were both under $100)

          • justinbc

            We always used a hand crank growing up, that was still the best peach ice cream I’ve ever had.

        • I think half of it is at my son’s and the other half is under a layer of renovation dust in some unexplored corner of my house.
          Until they can be re-united, I want a Pacojet, like the Big Boys get to play with.


        • Same here. I love the hand cranked machines, and love that I don’t need to use ice and rock salt anymore to freeze it!

  • Rant: PKs to end games in the knockout stage makes the World Cup pretty lame. Why not just play a sudden death overtime like in hockey? Great job by the Argentine goaltender in the PKs but after a really well played game that was a pretty underwhelming finish. I can see using PKs in the group stage (if they were inclined to change the current rule) but PKs to determine who moves on to the finals is weak.

    • justinbc

      They used to do sudden death, the 2002 World Cup was the last one that featured it. They found out that teams just wind up playing super defensively so as not to allow a goal, and the extra time would wind up going to penalties anyway. Trust me, after 2 hours of playing soccer you’re dead tired, you don’t want to play on infinitely until someone collapses and has someone then run by for a goal.

    • I’m a fan of the PK shoot out, especially after the two 15 min overtime periods. You can’t really compare hockey to futbol because in hockey, you can keep subbing out line ups. You can’t in futbol, therefore guys are dead tired even by end of regulation. It’s pretty simple, you don’t want a shoot out? Then score a golden goal before regulation time is up.

    • +1 I can not stand penalty kicks either. It reduces a highly skilled team game to one on one game of chance.

      • OP: Points taken. But I disagree. They could change the sub rules for just overtime games, also, these are world class athletes, they can play longer than 90 minutes. I don’t see how in a knockout game scenario how a sudden death would lend itself to a game that would be completely defensive. The way the rules stand, a lesser team can try to sit on the ball in OT and hope to get lucky in the PKs (but even that scenario is unlikely because the lesser team tends to turn the ball over even in the neutral zone). Just think if US had scored one more in OT and beat Belgium in PKs, that would have been an absolute joke of a game. Belgium won the game 3 minutes into OT, game should have ended then. Oh well, I get it, I’m not a huge soccer fan (watch a little Champions League every year) but the PKs on what is supposed to be the largest stage for the game feels a bit like ending the World Series with a home run derby contest rather than playing extra innings.

        • justinbc

          “I don’t see how in a knockout game scenario how a sudden death would lend itself to a game that would be completely defensive.”
          It’s counter intuitive, sure, and FIFA agreed with you when they first implemented the golden goal rule (when it had previously just gone to PKs). They thought that teams would be more aggressive and try to win. However that wasn’t the case and the evidence was that teams just played defensively and games still wound up in a tie, causing them to go to PKs anyway to resolve it. You can’t force teams to play a certain way.

        • “I don’t see how in a knockout game scenario how a sudden death would lend itself to a game that would be completely defensive.”
          The players are already tired, so rather than waste a bunch of energy attacking, they sit back and let the other team wear themselves out and then hit on the counter-attack. Sounds like a great plan until both teams adopt that strategy, and then you’ve got a defensive deadlock because neither team wants to waste energy attacking and leave themselves exposed. When a single blow can kill you it’s as important (if not more) not to receive one than it is to deliver one.

        • +1 I am in complete agreement.

    • It is what it is. It is better than in the past – how would you like it if the games were decided by a drawing of lots – or a coin toss? That is how it used to be. They also used to have a replay – replay of the entire final! Which would not happen today, ever.

      There are always different ideas being bandied about… but soccer is different from other sports. If the USA had taken it to penalties, it would not have been “a joke” it would have been the game.

      The golden goal rule was not very effective, as Justin above says. Soccer stopped using the golden goal after 2002 – it was only used in 1998 and 2002.

      How is it more fair that a team that attacks but doesn’t score and their opponents counterattack and have 1 shot on goal that goes in and the game is over?

      Personally, I can’t stand NHL’s shootouts during the regular season. I think that is an idiotic thing to do.

  • Rant: How is it that military men are so bad at aiming while peeing? They spend all day shooting guns at targets and then have to use the little one God gave them and can’t manage to put the stuff into the giant bowl right in front of them? I hate being a housewife!

  • Becks

    Rave: Finally sent photos of Lady Carlotta of Columbia Heights! Keep your eyes peeled for a Animal Fix!
    Rave: Had a great day yesterday and hope it carries over today. Nothing special happened, it was just a great day!
    Rant: Took out the garbage this morning and the Bad Neighbors have started using MY garbage can for their garbage overflow! I may have to start taking in my garbage cans! There wasn’t room for my little bag of garbage and the cans are huge!!!
    Rave: Happy Friday Eve!

    • You don’t typically take your garbage cans back on to your property after garbage collection? Or is this some other scenario?

      • justinbc

        In my previous house, where the trash was picked up in the alley, everyone left their cans on the outsides of their fences, then just moved them a few feet down for trash pickup days. I’m assuming she means she would have to bring them inside the fence (if her setup is like ours was).

        • So the fences didn’t go all the way to the alley?
          Along my alley, the fences go right up to the alley, and about 80% of my neighbors leave their trash cans in the alley 24/7, even though the cans are supposed to be out only between 6:30 p.m. the night before trash pickup and 8 p.m. the day of trash pickup.
          Even if Becks is violating that rule, though, that’s still no excuse (IMO) for the Bad Neighbors to be using her garbage can.
          Becks, how are the Bad Neighbors doing in other respects — weren’t they throwing trash between your houses and/or throwing trash over your fence?

          • justinbc

            alley -> parking pad -> fence -> patio
            Normally cans were stored between the parking pad and fence, and then on trash days moved past the cars into the alley.

          • Mine doesn’t…that’s how we have space for 2 cars in the back. We leave our trash cans on the parking pad, but put them on the edge of the alley on collection days.

          • Ahh, OK. Thanks for clarifying.

          • Becks

            Bad Neighbors are still bad neighbors! I pick up the trash between the houses put it next to their steps. The pile has gotten sooooo large, I had to put a brick on it! No more cigarette butts on my property though. Their front yard and walk has butts and beer cans. YUCK!

          • Technically my property line extends three from the back of my fence out into the alley, but if I left my cans there they’d disappear, despite having my address spraypainted on them.

          • JS: I remember a PoPville commenter saying a couple of years ago that his solution for that problem was painting the trashcans with large lettering saying “WE’RE GAY!”

        • Becks

          Yes, exactly. Thanks Justinbc!

  • Rave: I think a few people suggested The Book Thief as a summer read. I finished it last night and I agree, it was great. So thank you!
    Rave: 2nd date tonight …..appreciate the second chance because the first one didn’t go well at all (my fault, not his)

  • Rant: doggy is sick, just a few days before we go on vacation. In addition to reaaallly hating to wash off her butt/mouth, I would appreciate not having to scramble for alternate boarding arrangements. Seems like this always happens about a week before we go away, and only adds to the pre-vacation stress.

  • skj84

    Rave: Went to an AcroYoga jam session in the park behind my sisters house yesterday. I used to play at Meridan Hill park, but I haven’t gone in a while. The Yogi’s were super friendly and I worked on some poses I’ve never tired before. I need to start going more often when I get back to DC

    Rant: Apparently there’s some tension between my sister and her roommate. Roommate spent most of the one conversation we had making passive aggressive comments about my sister. I can see where they are clashing, but still, its rather obnoxious listening to a stranger talk about your family.

  • Rant: Girlfriend threw me out of bed to go row despite spontaneous generation of pre-dawn, pre-amourous activities.
    Rave: Saw beaver at the boathouse. (The aquatic rodent kind. Get your mind out of the gutter.) I think I’ve now seen more types of wildlife within the DC city limits than I ever saw at Boy Scout camp.
    Rave: Dinner with the Boy and his girl tomorrow night.
    Rant: Can’t think of a cool, non-bar sort of joint (no drinking the night before a race) to meet him at.
    Rave: Racing at home of Saturday. I wonder if we can get the beaver tricked out in our rowing club’s kit for the race.

  • epric002

    rant: i think foster puppy has separation anxiety.
    rant: i keep agreeing to take a foster puppy even though after each one i say “no more puppies; only dogs!”. this one is kicking my ass.
    rave: vacation starting saturday.
    request: please, please, please let tonight’s foster puppy play date go well so that foster puppy can go stay with another foster while we’re on vacation.

  • Rant: The daily intern coffee klatch on the other side of my cubicle wall. Today I learned about the horrors of being a vegetarian and making out with your boyfriend after he ate meat.

    Rave: Most of the guys in the weight room at the Y are in their 20s and 30s and frequently cite each other for breaking the Bro Code. It’s hard to keep a straight face.

    • Emmaleigh504

      I wish I could listen to the coffee klatch once or twice. You need to start asking questions so we can get more deets. I want to know who’s hooking with who behind someone else’s back.

      • Since there are 4 of them in that row I have ample material. Actually before it was intern row a guy was a cross from me and would make phone calls that were clearly not to his wife. Pig! I bet he pees on the floor and in the shower!

      • Bonus round: one of the intern’ s boyfriend called her at lunch and asked for her definition of cheating.* I should live Tweet this.

        *I should have yelled “Dude check the Bro Code! “

    • What does the Bro Code entail?
      BTW, I liked your term “the shrieking Jennifers” the other day.

    • I’m sorry your cubicle neighbors are so annoying but your posts about them are hilarious! At least they’reinterns so they’re only working there temporarily, right??

      • I think it is a six month program. I used to make an effort to get to know them but don’t bother any more. Their supervisors work remotely so I used to get stuck with training them on things like dialing 9 before making an outside call (don’t they teach this in college?).

        • That reminds me of a story one of my coworkers told me. Someone she was trying to help didn’t know what a browser was. Also, we do regular computer training, and one of the first thing we teach is how to create a bookmark/favorite. We had to do that after the first session because when we recommended bookmarking the main training site there were people who didn’t know how to do that.

        • I’m glad I never had to be trained by you. You sound like a delight.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: So sleepy
    Rave: Existential crisis resolved.

    • How did you resolve it? I think my husband is having an existential crisis. He is talking about crazy things like selling all our worldly possessions and moving away. I’m not even that opposed to the idea, to be honest, but I don’t think he really MEANS it, he’s just going through a crisis and I don’t know how to help him.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Mine was super easy and solved itself: Netherlands lost last night. Now it’s full steam ahead Deutschland über alles.

        • Germany + Argentina = The Boys from Brazil! I wonder if I can stream that on Netflix.

        • Oh haha sorry to take it a bit too seriously 😛

          • Emmaleigh504

            No problem! My last existential crisis was over skinny jeans. 🙂 I just can’t talk about a real existential crisis here. Anon and Anonymous would judge me too harshly. Hell, they already think I’m a Nazi b/c I’m rooting for Germany. 0_o What if I am?? I did take German in high school and college… New existential crisis begins now.

  • Rant: RAT. RAT. RAT. I can’t even talk about it.
    Rave: Thursday, almost Friday, finally.
    Rant: Friend invited herself and her significant other into our house this weekend and I don’t want them there.

    • GiantSquid

      Did you forget Oh_Sweet_Thing? We have plans to meet up on Saturday to walk the Mall and you’re doing brunch with PoPville on Sunday. You aren’t able to host because you have other stuff going on.

    • You can either tolerate an uninvited guest or suggest an alternative. Along the lines of “unfortunately it isn’t possible for you to stay with us this weekend. Here are the names of a few hotels/B&B’s” If she presses you, just restate that it isn’t possible. You don’t owe her a reason.

      • And if they’re on a budget that would make hotel or traditional B&B difficult, I highly recommend pointing them to AirBnb…can sound a little sketchy if you’ve never done it before, but in all the times my friends have used it, there haven’t been any horror stories (neither when I’ve used it in other cities). I live in a studio, and while I do have a futon and technically *can* accommodate a guest, I usually refer visiting friends to AirBnB for a budget-friendly option that will offer them a little more privacy and comfort.

  • Rave: Using time off to clean apt top to bottom today
    Rant: Watching too much Adventure Time. I’m a grown ass man, for God’s sakes.
    Rave: Biking when I want is pretty damn glorious.

    • GiantSquid

      Re: Adventure Time – that’s a revel! Embrace fun things regardless of age. There’s a great part of the Nerdist podcast with John deLancie about the My Little Pony phenomenon and “bronies”. He does a great job of describing how passionate people were about it and shared story of a guy in the military who flew drones for hours on end and that’s what he’d watch to decompress.

      • I love love LOVE the show but it’s a guilty pleasure love. I am literally thinking “I am a grown ass man” when I am watching Adventure Time. And it’s nice to have on in the background while I’m cleaning.

  • justinbc

    Rant: Last day with my husky before her mom comes back and she has to go back to her other home. Sadface.
    Rave: I’m allergic to dogs (the main reason she got to keep her in the split), so at least there won’t be anymore hair floating around.

  • Rave: Didn’t smell the stench folks were complaining about even though I work in Chinatown.
    Rant: Woke up with a sinus headache.
    Rant: Still have a sinus headache.
    Rave: Tomorrow is telework day for me.

  • GiantSquid

    Rant: Anyone want B&B reservations for July 19th & 20th and a VOLT reservation the evening of the 20th in Frederick?
    Rant: Any suggestions on how to get Mr. Squid to see a therapist? Asking isn’t working. He’s miserable and I’m frustrated.
    Rant: Saw both a bike and a car run red lights today.
    Revel: Finished good friend’s baby quilt. Mailing it out today. Hopefully that’ll encourage the baby to arrive because he’s being stubborn.

    • Sorry to hear about the troubles with Mr. Squid. Is he outright refusing? Or just dragging his feet on making an appointment? If the latter, you could try making the appointment for him, but I get the feeling that that’s not really the issue here.
      IIRC, the Carolyn Hax advice when a spouse won’t see a therapist and/or participate in (marriage) counseling is for you to go yourself, so as to get ideas on how to deal with the spouse.

      • GiantSquid

        He’s dragging his feet. This is the first big stretch where he’s been seriously depressed and doesn’t know how to deal with it. I’ve grown up dealing with depression, seeing my Mom and Grandmother deal with it, so I know how to identify it and work with it. Still, it probably wouldn’t hurt for me to visit a therapist either. Better to talk to someone than beat my head against this wall.

      • My GF begged me to go to a therapist. I was overwhelmed with the act of finding a therapist and then figuring out when to make the appointment.
        Do it for him, IMHO. The first steps are the hardest to take.

    • Does he know that his misery is also your misery? He needs to know that you are on his side but both of you need to try to make things better – he’s throwing you under the bus if he’s unwilling to acknowledge his misery and do something about it.
      Also are you sure he needs a therapist? Maybe a medical doctor could help too.

      • GiantSquid

        He needs both a therapist and a visit to a new primary care physician. There’s definitely an issue with hormones that is at play here because he’s always super down at a particular time of the month which happens to also be the “strike zone” for babymaking. Hard to have kids when you aren’t having sex.

        • Do you think the two are related? I.e.: “how can I possibly think about having kids when things are so terrible and I can’t handle my life right now”?

          • GiantSquid

            That’s part of it. Part is also there’s no sex drive. You just feel numb.

          • Are the two of you on the same page as far as having kids? Somehow the description above makes me wonder if his being super-down at the appropriate time of the month is more than coincidence.

          • GiantSquid

            textdoc: yup, he’s on board with the kid thing. The fact that it’s noticeably cyclical is part of the reason I think it’s due in big part to hormones.

    • Re: therapy, perhaps you could ask him to do it for you? I think a lot of people have the idea of therapy as self-indulgent and they don’t want to do it because it seems like money/time that they don’t need to spend if they could just snap out of it. If you were to find a therapist, and suggest you could make an appointment but you want him to go as a favor to you, would he do it? You can say something like “I want to support you, but I don’t know what to do or say to help, and that makes me feel helpless and frustrated too, so I would feel better if you went to someone who has the professional competence to help you”

      • GiantSquid

        What you quoted in the last sentence is pretty much verbatim what I’ve said to him on multiple times. I don’t know what block he has in his mind about seeing a therapist and I’ve made it quite clear that it’s affecting our relationship and his quality of life.

        • Sorry to hear that. Perhaps folks above are right that you should go yourself, and ask for some advice about how to get him in there – whether it’s just making the appointment and going with him, or setting an ultimatum. You are probably best positioned to know how he would react to these options (or others that a therapist may suggest). Does he have any close friends who you could convince to suggest it?

        • Echoing what others have said — how about telling him you’re making an appointment for the both of you to talk to a therapist (and ask him if he’d prefer to go, for example, on Tuesday afternoon or Thursday morning so he’s part of the appointment making process). And let him know that although the appointment is for the both of you, you’ll still go by yourself if he doesn’t go.

    • “Getting someone else to see a therapist” can be both overwhelming and can be perceived as having someone you love say “you’re the problem, I have a solution, go fix it” — even when that’s not the intention of the person suggesting the remedy. Would it work for you to suggest to Mr. Squid that there are serious things impacting your relationship and your well-being, that you need to understand better and develop better coping skills, that you’re going to make an appointment with a therapist, and that you would appreciate it if he came as well. Then make the appointment. If you have to go alone, you might get some suggestions from the therapist re: handling your concerns. If you go together — then you both will. It might also help if the “see a therapist” message comes from someone other than you — so if Mr. Squid has a primary care provider who can make recommendations and referrals, that might help as well.

      • “Would it work for you to suggest to Mr. Squid that there are serious things impacting your relationship and your well-being, that you need to understand better and develop better coping skills, that you’re going to make an appointment with a therapist, and that you would appreciate it if he came as well.”
        I second the sentiment, but in my opinion skip the diplomacy-speak and use real words to describe how it’s affecting you. Saying things like “there are serious things impacting our relationship” and “I need to understand better and develop coping skills” are pretty vague and meaningless, especially to someone who is already wearing blinders; it also sounds very patronizing to someone who already feels bad about themselves. I think you need to be quite clear, honest, and up front; be clear that you’re on his side but that his problem is also your problem, for which you need help, with or without him (but preferably with).

        • I get your point. My vagueness is in part because I don’t know the exact nature of the concerns – and, more importantly, to avoid turning the issue of seeking therapy into a power struggle – something quite easy to do when someone else is insisting on therapy as an intervention.

          • Indeed, fair enough. A power struggle is definitely not what you want. My perspective is that there was a time when I was the miserable one, and it made me feel worse to feel I was being treated like a child who couldn’t handle being told the honest truth (even though that’s probably how I was acting at the time).

    • It sounds like you’ve been clear about the negative impact this is having on him, you, and your relationship. You can’t force him to see a therapist or his primary care doctor, although if he just needs someone to help with the scheduling, etc. because it feels too overwhelming at the moment, it’s worth pursuing. But honesty, I think you need to stop pushing and see a therapist yourself who may have some suggestions about what to do next/how to deal with this crummy situation.
      And although it may sound inconsiderate, I think you need to keep on living your life. Go out with friends, whether your husband goes or not. You’ve been planning a weekend trip, but then he wants to bail, go anyway. It may be enough of a wake up call for him to see that you’ll support him, but not stop living your life because depression is taking over his. Wishing you the best! You’re in such a difficult position.

    • Definitely feel for you. In the same boat right now (other than the kid thing) and it feels like 13 years is going down the tubes. Hope yours gets the help he needs and things work out for you.

    • GiantSquid

      Thanks to everyone for the feedback and words of support!

      • Thanks so much for asking. I literally just copied this thread and all these suggestions for a friend struggling with exactly the same issue. She’s been considering making an the appointment for her husband…maybe this will be the push she needs to pull the trigger (and maybe to go with him). I hope this works out for you two! Best wishes!

  • Rant – My neighbors are the worst when it comes to dealing with their trash. The WORST. They dump their trash into the sidewalk public trash can, which is constantly overflowing with garbage. They leave their trash cans out on the sidewalk for days at time. They leave loose bags of trash out on the corner when it’s not collection day, and the bags get ripped up by rats and trash is left spilling out of the bag on to the sidewalk. They leave passive aggressive notes about these things in people’s mailboxes. They are the worst. Really, how hard is to put your trash cans out on collection day, and then take back your property?
    Rant – Some dude swung his enormous backpack right into me at the coffee shop, and I spilled my hot coffee all over this girl’s arm. I felt so bad about it and and thought I had burned her. Luckily I had just put milk in my coffee so it wasn’t too hot and the girl was nice about it. Lady at Swings – I’m so sorry (again!)
    Rave – Great yoga class yesterday. I really needed it.

    • Wait… the neighbors are being total slackers with their trash, but then leaving passive-aggressive notes in other people’s mailboxes? I don’t understand (especially since it seems like people who can’t be bothered to put their trash cans out/take them back in at the appropriate times would also be too unmotivated to write notes to the neighbors).

      • There is one neighbor who leaves notes in people’s mailboxes about the overflow of personal trash in the public trash can, complaining how it’s gross and attracts rats. However, this same neighbor also leaves her loose bags of trash out on the corner when it’s not collection day (which is also gross and attracts rats!) Another neighbor leaves notes on the garbage cans that are left out on the sidewalk, and last night, actually gathered the cans and put them on the front steps of the house they belonged to, blocking their front door. My living room windows face the corner so it’s like I have a front seat to this ongoing drama of the trash.

        • How odd on that one neighbor’s trash hypocrisy. Does she not have trash cans? Or does she just refuse to use them?

          • Who knows what her deal is. She probably thinks she’s too good that whole “bring you cans out on collection day and taking them back in” businesses.

    • Becks

      Bad Neighbors are bad, but at least they don’t leave notes. 😉

  • Rant: Booze. Think I need a break (or maybe forever? ugh).

    • Me too! After the holiday weekend, I’m weaning myself off it. Had two bourbon and ginger ales last night. Cutting down to one tonight then taking a break from booze and increasing exercise for a few weeks. I’m already sleeping much better with only two drinks. Should get even better soon.

    • GiantSquid

      A good friend of mine is giving it up for 30 days and feels so much better she’s talking about cutting it out entirely. I’ve been cutting way back, like one drink on the weekend. It makes a huge difference on how you feel. Here’s a good article by someone who gave it up for a year: http://themindunleashed.org/2014/06/7-things-learned-1-year-without-alcohol.html

      • Great article, thanks! 30 days is my goal as well–just want to make sure I can do it (hah) and reevaluate from there.

      • i’ve been sober 30 years. I would have been dead a long time ago otherwise. But I have to say that life has been pretty amazing without booze, and I’ve had so many amazing experiences that were just pipe dreams when I was drinking. If they invented a pill that would let me “get drunk” without consequences, I wouldn’t take it. Life is just too good sober.

    • Hope you feel better. I’ve definitely thought about cutting back too. You could fund a small army with the amount of money I spend on going out for drinks!

  • Got a day trip to Harrisburg, PA this Sunday. And recommendations of lunch spots along the way, interesting things to see, etc?

    • If you can make it up to Hershey – definitely go to Troegs for lunch or afternoon snack/beer. The brewery is really cool and food is delicious. If you’re driving up 15 look for the Zebra somewhere along the way on the right hand side. It’s my favorite thing to look out for on our drive up!

    • I may be repeating myself (or maybe central PA has become a ridiculously hot tourist destination) but if you like architecture/interior design, the Pennsylvania State Capitol is freaking unbelievable. Really, really worth the time to see it. Plus, free. Plus, plus, minutes from Troegs.
      Today’s trivia: The extremely picturesque Susquehanna is the world’s longest non-navigable river.

      • Correction: The Troeg’s facility I drove by in Harrisburg is not their brewery, apparently. Previous statement to be un-plus-plused.

    • skj84

      My hometown! Try Second Street for lunch spots. I also like The Gingerbread Man and Aroogas which are both on Market Street. The are both near the Whitaker Center for Science and Arts. City Island is also a cool spot to check out. If you can take a walk on Front street along the Susquehanna. It’s a lovely way to spend an afternoon. I second visiting Troegs in Hershey, and add Appalachian Brewing Company on Cameron St. If you can get up to Lancaster check out Bubes Brewery. And Mount Hope Estate and Winery.

    • Thanks everyone! I’m only going to be in Harrisburg for a couple of hours. I’ll try to stop for lunch at one of the suggested places.

      • I lived on top of another location of the Gingerbread Man and hit it up all the time! They give you a little gingerbread cookie with the check. I love that place!

    • saf

      Go see our AA team, the Harrisburg Senators, in their beautiful island park.

    • I’ll have about 8 hours in Philly this weekend. Any suggestions for me?

      • Get drinks at the Ranstead Room, check out the art musem and Rodin museum (they’re near each other), you should see if you’re there during the Bastille Day celebration at Eastern State Penitentiary. I went to that last year, took the tour earlier-it was really interesting and well done, got a drink across the street, then watched the show and got pelted with “let them eat Tastee Cakes!!!” and had a great time.

  • Back to US of A!
    Rant: having a reverse culture shock. Feel like i’m on a college campus with everyone wearing work out clothes and with the complete lack of kids. And so many fat free foods, why people, why????
    Rave: so good to see my kitty!!!! and great to see friends.
    Rave: had a fairly good pre-interview yesterday, now flying to Portland on monday for the real one.

    • Good luck with the interview! A friend has a graphic design firm here in DC and I can put you in touch with him if you want to explore DC based jobs.

  • Hate to break it to you all but the World Cup is over. Germany wins. That is all. Seriously though, I don’t think Argentina has a chance against Germany given the circumstances. Germany is showing great form at the right time and Argentina is down a couple players, tired and really dependent on Messi. I am guessing the game will be won by Germany by a margin of two goals.

    • It depends. If the Argentinian defense shows up, they catch a few lucky breaks, and can pull Germany into PKs, they have a good chance. The Dutch were a much better & faster team and still lost. I honestly thought the Dutch were going to trounce the Argentinians last night, but they couldn’t convert their opportunities. The Argentinians also have “home field” advantage, IMHO. Buenos Aires is less than a 3 hour cheap flight away.
      That said, Germany would be a worthy champion. They look outstanding. I was really hoping for a Dutch-Germany final match. It would have been a showcase of the Continental Europe model of football. None of this Latin style.

      • That is a lot of “ifs”, if an if was a fifth, we’d all be drunk. Germany is just too good right now and I predict them to only get better in the coming future especially because what they are doing with their youth sides.


        If it goes to PKs, I am ok with Neyeur in goal, he is solid.

        • Emmaleigh504

          I’m always ok with Neuer, even in green.

        • Well that’s why they play the game, never know what will happen. No one would have thought Brazil would lay down like that. No one would have thought Spain and Italy would get eliminated in group play. I’m looking forward to this final!

        • Germany scoring 5 times in 30 minutes against Brazil was also an ‘if’ until it actually happened. I think Germany are going to be near impossible to beat on Sunday but I’ve been watching the game for far too long to claim that I know what is going to happen. But don’t worry, if Germany wins we’ll all be here to pat you on the back for being right.

          • I too have been watching and playing the game for a very long time so I know very well that you have to play the game. That is just my prediction, that said, my predictions have been spot on. Brazil never had a chance against Germany even if Neymar hadn’t gotten hurt. Losing Silva was the death blow because he is the backbone of that defense and keeps David Luiz in check when he goes on his crazy runs.


            Instead of coming out and saying, I knew it after the game, I am putting it out there now.

          • “Instead of coming out and saying, I knew it after the game, I am putting it out there now.”
            Yes, and a bold pick it is. Especially when you’ve got a 50/50 shot at being right even with no information whatsoever. And no one *with* information would actually tip Argentina to beat Germany at this point. Nice work.

          • Not that you have been paying attention but I picked Germany from the jump. Feel free to go back and check other post and get back to me. Ok. Thanks. Bye Felicia!

    • I predict that Germany will be defeated and some of their players will have to flee to Argentina and live under aliases.

  • Accountering

    Rave: Finally got rid of the cancer in our department! He is gone, and the new person (will be a HUGE improvement) starts next week!
    Rave2: CFO is moving down one office, and I am moving out of my cube, and into his current office.
    Rave3: Paperwork is in process to promote me to supervisor, which will come with a title change and a pretty significant pay-bump!
    Rave4: Still raving about everything from yesterday’s raves as well!!!

    • Congrats on the promotion and getting a real office!
      I’m curious to know, did the cancerous coworker leave on his or her own?

      • Accountering

        Thanks!!! We have found an external candidate, and the offer letter went out today. She is going to be TREMENDOUS. This has been a work in progress for over three months, with a PIP, tons of performance warnings, and a lot of opportunity to improve. We finally pulled the trigger yesterday.

  • Rave: Getting a dog a week from Saturday! I could not be more excited since this has been years in the works, waiting for the right time and the right dog-friendly place. Serious nesting has set in in anticipation of the new family member.
    Question: Any recommendations of dog walkers that serve the Columbia Heights area? This is a tiny guy (6lbs full-grown) and will not need a rigorous day time walk but more so play time and attention. Any recommendations greatly appreciated!
    Rant: When an ex chooses to randomly text you after years of very happily having no contact. Why do they do that?! This happened the other day and I only knew it was him due to the unique area code and my not responding was a no-brainer. Just weird and unnecessary.
    Rave: Heading up to Ithaca this weekend and I’m looking forward to some Upstate NY temperatures!

    • Emmaleigh504

      Congrats on the dog!

    • Congrats on the dog! Props for the mention of Ithaca on PoP. I went to school there, and I haven’t been back yet. Are you Big Red too?

      • woomp woomp! I haven’t been back either. Ithaca is gorges (ha!) during the summer.

      • Thank you! I am going for a pre-grad school program hosted by Cornell… I’ve never been and I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve heard great things!

        • Ithaca is a great place to go to school. I highly recommend eating at CTB on college ave to get the Cornell student experience. For bars, check out the Chapter House aka “grad student bar.” The gorges are beautiful but be careful when visiting them. When I was an undergrad, a few of my classmates met untimely ends in the gorges.

          • I miss Ithaca, too! Also love the Chapter House, but on a nice day a pitcher of beer at a picnic table at CTB is even better (no outdoor space at the Chappy). Sitting outside at a bar on the Commons is also a nice way to while away some time. For ice cream, hit up Purity.
            Do not, under any circumstances, eat at Moosewood Cafe. You will be disappointed. If you insist on going, go for dessert.

          • Hey, I love Moosewood! Granted, I was a vegetarian in college, so I really appreciated their menu options. I have their cookbook too. I have fond memories forcing my meat eating parents to eat there with me after graduation. I guess it’s not the best place, but it’s kinda a landmark, so go to Moosewood.

          • It is a landmark, but it’s not good. Every time I ate there I thought, “I could have made this. But with flavor.” For dinner you can do much better (even as a vegetarian/vegan). If you want to go because you’ve used the cookbooks, dessert is a better and less disappointing choice.

    • GiantSquid

      1. Ithaca isn’t Upstate, it’s Southern Tier. 2. The last time I was in Upstate NY (north of the Thruway), it was warmer there than DC, and this was mid-June. Crazy.

    • Congrats on the dog! I used Devin at Brighter Days Collective when my dog was still with me. He was wonderful with my dog, and really went above and beyond in the last year when he was getting older and sicker. I cannot recommend him enough.

    • epric002

      congrats on the dog! highly recommend brighter days collective. andy is our walker and is amazing, but not sure if he does coheights or just petworth.

    • Yay dogs! Congratulations! As a former Ithacan, I support getting up there during summertime – so gorges! Also, I was in Rochester two weekends ago, and man alive it was hot.

    • second your rant, a few months ago an ex I hadn’t spoken to since 2009 when he told me I’m a terrible person tried to facebook friend me. He lives on the west cost, we have no mutual friends, why associate?

    • Congrats on the dog! Excited for you. 🙂
      Hate when exes do that. Mine all seem to come out of the woodwork at the same time. It’s very odd.

      I love Ithaca!

    • Thanks for the support, everyone! I will be looking into the Brighter Days Collective and will report back on the Ithaca trip.

    • Becks

      Congrats on your new family! If I had a yard and more time at home, I would get a dog!

    • DogWalkingDC, and the owner JJ, are fabulous!

  • Rant: Crazy, intense nightmares that leave me feeling exhausted when I wake up.
    Rant: Litter and litterers.
    Rave: Crape myrtles in bloom — beautiful!
    Rave: Almost the weekend!

  • Rant: Jews for Justice trying to take over the Hebrew Home Process and advocating for 100% low income housing. Oh and Brianne Nadeu happens to be a board member. Oh and none of the other Board members lives in the neighborhood of DC-I guess its easy to advocate for low income housing when you live in Bethesda. Holy smokes the FIX IS IN on so many levels on this project. I was a Brianna voter but no more. She has been questioned on her stance and never once disclosed this affiliation.

    • Was this at last night’s ANC4D (ANC4C?) meeting? More details, please.

    • Accountering

      I just e-mailed Brianne about this. Very concerned about this, and she will certainly lose my support, vote, and any future donations. Certain she will lose Mintwood’s vote, as well as anyone else I can think of who is a W1 voter. I will likely ask her to return my past donation as well. This is ridiculous.

      • Write to Bowser as well and make her confirm a proposed Aug 12 Community wide meeting. The ANC commissioners are asleep at the wheel.

        • Accountering

          I don’t waste my time with Bowser anymore. When I search my gmail for her name, it is a half dozen sent messages, and nary a response.

      • What?!?! You’ve got to be joking me that a candidate who beat Graham by not pandering to the affordable housing masses (we need it, we need it at 20% of all buildings with 10+ units, we don’t need 100% buildings that are ghettos) and fighting his political cronyism is now doing the same things he did. This is sickening…I hope a qualified independent steps up to run.

        • Jews for Justice is claiming 2000 members. Great but how many of them actually live in the neighborhood. Please take the time to join the Friends of the Former Hebrew Home on Google groups. This group wants to hear all the resident opinions, and is committed to affordable housing but at a mix that is sustainable to the property itself AND the entire communtiy.

          • Based on this comment, I assume that Friends of the Former Hebrew Home is limiting its membership to people who actually live in the neighborhood – since they are the only people whose views matter, correct?

          • Each of the 4 SMDs that surround the site have approximately 2000 people living in them.

    • I haven’t been following this debate, but out of curiosity, what are the various options for the project? And when you say that JfJ is advocating for “100% low-income housing,” what is the % AMI threshold (or breakdown of % AMI thresholds if there are several tiers of affordability) that they are advocating? “Low-income housing” is a pretty broad term that can mean many different things to different people.

      • Apparently Muriel Bowser said at last night’s ANC4C meeting that “there are potential plans to have 80-90 units at the Hebrew Home which would be up to 60% AMI and the 80-90 units which will be at the Robeson school site up to 80% AMI so ‘yes it would be 100% affordable housing’. “

        • But “affordable housing” does not necessarily equal “low income” housing.

          • According to http://www.huduser.org/portal/datasets/il/il2014/2014summary.odn , 80% of the Area Median Income (AMI – which is $107K for the D.C. area — note that this is the median _family_ income, not the median _individual_ income) is “low income,” and 50% of AMI is “very low income.”
            So if the units are going to be for up to 60% AMI and up to 80% AMI, yes, that does mean “low income,” as defined by HUD.

        • The key thing to remember is these income levels are “up to” with no floor. DGS has stated in public meetings that the plan includes 30% AMI units as well.

    • There was no official ANC1A meeting last night because there wasn’t a quorum (the meeting has been rescheduled for Thurs. 7/17), but apparently an unofficial meeting went ahead nonetheless.
      According to someone from the Friends of the Former Hebrew Home Googlegroup, “[A] JUFJ representative announced their position at the ANC 1A meeting last night — 100% affordable housing at the site — and Ms. Nadeau is on that board [the board of JUFJ].”

    • I am going to go ahead and assume that by “Jews for Justice” you mean “Jews United for Justice,” the Washington area group. I think my assumption is correct since I looked at their website and Brianne Nadeu is a Board member, for whatever that is worth.
      I’m really not shocked that Jews United for Justice would have an interest in what happens to a property called the Old Hebrew Home.
      And given that the mission statement for Jews United for Justice reads (in part):
      “Embedded in our Jewish tradition is the concept of tikkun olam (repairing the world), which teaches us that as Jews we have a responsibility to alleviate the suffering of the oppressed, both within and outside our community,”
      I am even less shocked that this group would be advocating for low income housing.
      Geez. The level of hysteria over this project is really ridiculous.

      • Accountering

        Is it ridiculous? Is it ridiculous that people who have invested in their community would be frustrated that the city continues to foist a disproportionate amount of affordable housing in their neighborhood?

        Do you want these two buildings across the street from you, with 100% affordable?

        • I don’t want them anywhere in the city at 100%. Put them in NE in Fort Lincoln, great you’re hurting that neighborhood, sending a higher than average percentage of police, fire and social resources further away from my neighborhood and spending more than needed. Make the buildings there 20% and make the Old Hebrew Home 20% and serve the needs of the entire city while reducing costs and integrating socio-economies.

          Yes it’s called the Old Hebrew Home because it was Jewish until 1969. Then the DC government bought it and made it a mental hospital until 2009. Claiming they are saving it in the name of Judiasm is smoke and mirrors for Nadeu to pander for votes and be able to point and say, “Look I made that happen, vote for me!”


        • I wouldn’t be panicking over a building located across the street from me where the residents’ incomes were between 60-80k per year. And even if the incomes were lower, I would not be panicking if there was a commitment to maintain the property, including the ability to swiftly remove any residents who don’t abide by the rules. Instead of assuming that a building with “low income” tenants will inevitably become a disaster, maybe it would be productive to talk with DCHA about ways it can ensure that such a building doesn’t become a disaster.

          • Those are total _household_ incomes of $60k-$80k/year, not individual incomes. And as JS noted, those are the _maximum_ incomes, and there are no minimums.
            DCHA’s poor track record with its existing buildings speaks for itself. Ditto for privately run low-income housing, like Tyler House.

      • *I’m really not shocked that Jews United for Justice would have an interest in what happens to a property called the Old Hebrew Home.*

        Would you be shocked to know that JUFJ seems to have taken no interest in the property for decades? Much less over the last year when it flooded for a week, when the squatters moved in, when thousands of dollars worth of office equipment were destroyed and left to rot outside (made the rats happy, though), when the raccoon family took over part of the roof (OK, I liked that part), when all the lights went on earlier this year and were never turned off.

        • Well, if you want to go talk to Brianne about this, I just got this email:

          This weekend Brianne will be out holding 2 more coffee talks to hear from Ward 1 voters.

          Join Brianne for Coffee on Saturday July 12th from 11am-1pm at Blind Dog Cafe (944 Florida Ave NW). Or join Brianne for Coffee on Sunday July 13th from 11am-1pm at The Diner (2453 18th St NW).

          Pop by to ask a question or offer an idea during coffee. RSVP for coffee replying to this e-mail.
          She’ll also be out canvassing in Adams Morgan Sunday afternoon if you’d like to join her.
          To see other opportunities to volunteer, check out her canvass schedule here: http://briannefordc.com/volunteer/
          To meet up with Brianne at another public event check out her schedule here: http://briannefordc.com/home/events/
          And if you’d like to host Brianne at an event of your own, please let me know. See you there!

          Brianne Nadeau is the democratic nominee for DC Council in Ward 1. She is a community activist and seasoned professional who is invested in improving the neighborhoods of Ward 1 through her service on the Advisory Neighborhood Commission, her work with non-profits dedicated to the DC community and through initiatives she has spearheaded to promote sustainability and neighborhood cooperation. As a homeowner and 12-year District resident, Brianne is deeply invested in her community and has developed a vision for Ward 1 focused on strengthening our schools, supporting small businesses, increasing affordable housing and public safety, and putting measures in place that will end pay-to-play politics.

        • When did you take an interest in the property? When did any of the people who are so worked up about this take an interest in the property? The City just announced the plan to surplus the property. When were they supposed to express an interest?

          • How about several years ago, when we got the city to agree to purpose the building as it was designed: 100% housing/activity center for seniors? Long enough for you? And my neighbors–with much longer tenures in the neighborhood, many of them grew up in the shadow of this complex–have long been active. Before the senior center fight, there was the battle to get the halfway house next door to be a good neighbor. Work for you?

          • People have been working with the city to do something with this property for YEARS. The Fenty administration was working with community members on a proposal for senior housing that fell through when he lost to Gray. Tommy Wells tried to turn the place into a homeless shelter prior to that effort. Sheesh, just because you are hearing about something now doesn’t mean that others haven’t been working on the issue for a while.

  • gotryit

    Rave: I may get to build mini remote operated submarines with our middle schoolers next year. This would be so cool!
    Rave: I can secretly teach my 4 year old how to do it also – she’d love it.

  • Rant: the camp set up in Wangari Gardens. It keeps expanding and some women in the neighborhood have stopped walking/biking around the park and I don’t feel comfortable using the hammock anymore. Calls to Mpd and reporting the illegal dumping to the city has had no impact.
    Rave: the girls rock dc showcase is this weekend. I wish I could bring my niece (who is still too young to participate).

  • Rant: My trash still has not been collected. Did I miss something?

    • Jeez, settle down. It happens sometimes. Call 311.

      • Settle down? Have a long look in the mirror.


        And yeah, it happens when they don’t do their job.

        • Of course that’s why it happens. Like I said, call 311. I don’t think the trash guys read PoPville and no one else here can do anything about it.

          • The Rants/Raves section isn’t directed toward People Who Can Take Action In Response to Rants. Note the instructions: “You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. … This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.”

  • anonymouse_dianne

    Congrats on the doggie! Send pix. I have used Zoolatry for years. They are very reliable and even trusted them with my diabetic cat.

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