Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user nevermindtheend

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

242 Comment

  • Rave: Decided to start watching Twin Peaks for the first time last night.
    Rant: Proceeded to have the most insane dreams that kept me tossing and turning all night long
    Rant: It made me incredibly homesick for my beloved Pacific Northwest. I grew up in a town 20 minutes from where they filmed Twin Peaks. Damn do I miss trees, woods, and flannel.

    • Also, the damn fine coffee.

    • Emmaleigh504

      donuts donuts donuts

      • justinbc

        Having had VooDoo in Portland and Doughnut Plant in NYC I’m glad we’re much closer to the latter.

        • Trendy, expensive donuts are lame. The best thing about the west coast is mom & pop donut shops owned by Vietnamese immigrants that sell awesome donuts for next to nothing. Their coffee is mediocre, but nearly every intersection in Southern California has a mom & pop donut shop.

          • Those places are the best! There used to be a place in the University District of Seattle that was just named Donut. Terrible coffee and awesome donuts.

            Though, the maple bacon bar at Voodoo is good. Top Pot in Seattle is the best.

            Also, why can’t I find any freaking maple bars around here?

          • justinbc

            I disagree that the “best thing about the west coast” is its donut shops. Also, having tried many of those little mom and pop shops in LA, the land of donuts, I would much rather spend $2 or $2.50 at DP than $1 there. The difference is easily more than 200% better.

    • Fascinating – I remember that I also had crazy dreams (and some nightmares) after watching the first few episodes waaay back when it was new. So it still has it’s power.

    • special_k

      The owls are not what they seem.

  • Rave: great time at the Morcheeba show last night!

  • Rant: we were going to do that Anacostia walk last saturday, but my wife had made an alternate social commitments that conflicted. So we did not go. We may go this weekend, but it would have been nice to go with A. A group so she felt more safe B. people who could actually answer her questions about safety, amenities, the pace of change, etc
    Revel:Its Bike to Work Day tomorrow
    Rant: Its going to be raining heavily for BTWD.

  • DC trashcan policy. WTF?

  • binpetworth

    Rave: National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day! Nom nom nom nom…
    Rant: Out of cookies.

    • justinbc


    • Rant: There’s an ad promoting solar energy that I pass every day on my way home, and it shows a woman pulling a tray of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven. So I’m always dying for a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie when I get home.

      • I think I’ve seen this one — the typeface wasn’t ideal (IMO), and as a result I initially thought it said, “Solar Ruins My Oven” (rather than “Solar Runs My Oven”).

        • That reminds me of the time when I thought a bumper sticker that read “Support Fine Arts” was “Support Fire Ants”.

          • You know the bumper stickers that say “Coexist” that use the symbols of different religions (crescent, Star of David, etc.)?
            I saw one that I thought read “fat chance.” It turned out to say “tolerance.”

        • epric002

          lolz. i love all these mis-readings 🙂 i can’t think of any specific ones at the moment but i definitely have done some double-takes.

  • Rave: Today is my Friday!
    Rant: I will miss Bike to Work Day tomorrow!
    Rave: I will still bike to my way station for BtWD!
    Rave: Date night on Saturday!
    Rave: Exclamation points!!

  • Rant: Boyfriend the victim of a hit and run last night. My BF was in the car and chased the guy, and when he caught up with him the police showed up and the guy turned it around and told the police that my boyfriend had punched him. So they arrested my BF, made him sit in a jail cell overnight, and are charging him with simple assault.

    If anyone witnessed it, it was around midnight near U St. and Vermont – I’d be grateful for any support. And please spare the commentary on whether or not he should have chased the guy and gotten out of the car – no, it wasn’t the best idea. But the POS who ran into his car, almost ran him over in the street, and got him arrested and charged needs to be held accountable. Not to mention that he should pay for the damage to the car.

    • Wait-were there injuries/bruising showing that the guy was punched?

      • Police can arrest you for simple assault when there are no injuries- it can be for threatening to assault

        • Just by word? Without any witnesses to back it up or proof? I once found myself in a situation and the cops told me if I decided to press charges that I too would be arrested since there was no witnesses as to who started it.

          • Not a lawyer and not endorsing, but taking this from http://koehlerlaw.net/

            “There are three forms of misdemeanor assault (that is, simple assault) in Washington, D.C….. The second form, “intent-to-frighten” assault, is defined as a threatening act that puts another person in reasonable fear of immediate injury. ”

            I’m not saying that the police were justified in making the arrest at all. When I read the guy’s situation it sounded really similar to mine: no injury or witnesses. I was in lockup overnight. It sucked. I’m still trying to get my record cleared. Ugh. I’m sorry this happened and MPD sucks.

          • Gotcha! yeah and sorry that happened to you. In my situation it was clear that the group of badass teens started the issue–but because there were no witnesses I was told that Id be arrested if I decided to press charges. I was so glad that I handed those kids street justice, because MPD sure didn’t feel like being bothered.

        • Wish the VA police operated this way. My 80-year-old MIL had an out-of-control road rager threaten her with bodily harm, and the officer who responded berated her for calling the police about it. It’s like the Wild West out in Fairfax County.

      • Don’t know. Apparently the cop was a prick. I have a feeling there was a bit of profiling going on – my BF is black, driver was white. Cop sees angry black man in the road and makes assumptions about what is going on. Didn’t even do an accident report on the car.

        • Your boyfriend needs to go to whatever precinct this happened in and demand that the police do an accident report. He needs to report this guy as a hit and run driver. Your boyfriend witnessed it so there is no reason why the police shouldn’t take the report. He should take it as high up in the station as he has to. And he needs to report this to his insurance company.

        • So your BF told you the story and but didn’t say if He did in fact punch the guy or not?

          • No, he said that he did not lay a hand on the guy. What I don’t know is how the cop determined that the guy’s story was credible.

        • i am sorry to hear that. 🙁

        • Did BF assault the guy or not?

        • That is messed up.

    • Woah! That’s terrible! FWIW, sure, probably not the best idea, but pretty sure I would have chased the guy too, probably out of adrenaline as much as anything else! Hope this gets sorted quickly and fairly!

    • justinbc

      You can be arrested simply because someone says that you punched them? With no evidence or other testimony whatsoever..?

      • Right?? Can any lawyers here chime in to clarify?

        • You can be arrested, put in handcuffs and taken to a police station, because the cop doesn’t like the color of your shirt. Its the consequences stemming from the arrest that are at issue. In many, if not most, simple assault arrests there is no real physical evidence and the witnesses(s) statement(s) to a cop “hey i just got punched” or “I just got threatened” is usually enough probable cause for an arrest to be considered legal.

          • justinbc

            I guess that’s the difference between an arrest and a conviction.

          • Yep, exactly. They act like it’s no big deal for an innocent person to spend the night in jail as long as they’re eventually not convincted of anything. I know someone who lost their job because they were arrested without warning and stuck in jail for several days unable to notify anyone. It’s basically kidnapping, and the victims get no restitution for the emotional trauma and other devastating consquences of an arrest.

      • Exactly

      • What’s worse is if someone tells the MPD you have a gun in your house (happened to a friend with a vindicative ex). Then you’re stuck in jail for a week while they get a warrant and search your place for it. Then you have to spend another week cleaning up the mess they made. Great way to exact revenge on someone though.

      • I know someone who was arrested at a party because a girl OD’d in the bathroom. He didn’t know the girl, there was nothing tying him to her or to the drugs she brought with her. The cops just arrested the first half-dozen men they could catch. Sure, they let him go the next morning after interviewing everyone, no charges, so no harm no foul, right?
        20 years later, he and his wife tried to adopt a child, and were denied by multiple agencies, because of the arrest on his record. He will die childless because of this kind of “police work”.

        • And remember the college kid in CA who was arrested during a raid at a college party and almost died of thirst because they forgot he was locked in the cell?

          • At least he got awarded millions in that instance… And not that it matters much, but it was the DEA messing up in that case, not the local police force.

          • Yeah, I guess my point is that you’re put in a situation where you’re totally under someone else’s control, which is terrifying. You might be lucky and end up under the control of people who are competent and compassionate, but even the most humane arrest scenarios are a form a abuse, at least pyschologically.

        • It is the collateral consequences of arrests and convictions that often carry the most burden. Its something people who are not involved rarely see. Lobby your legislatures people, every budget bill, every appropriation ties benefits and rights to arrest/involvement with law enforcement records more and more.

        • It’s unfortunate your friend didn’t hire a lawyer to get the record expunged.

          • It’s unfortunate that someone has to pay a lawyer to clear up something that was the fault of the legal system, not them. Next thing you know the police and judges will be asking for bribes (oh wait they already do).

  • Rant: Don’t know how to feel about police week. I really respect and appreciate their service to their hometowns. But I really resent how they treat mine when they come to DC.

  • Rant: Recyclables on my block weren’t picked up Tuesday which makes me suspect that the Blitz to remove the old cans is impacting service this week.

    Rave: The amazing spring asparagus I roasted last night!

  • Rave: protesters outside my office
    Rant: I want to join them but cannot
    Rant: there are only 100 or so.
    Rant: my agency head has lobbied heavily on behalf of ISPs in the past.

    • This is so the epitome of #dcproblems

    • What’s an ISP? Internet Service Provider? What’s wrong with supporting them?

      • The ISPs want to be allowed to charge companies like Google, Yahoo, Facebook or [insert anyone with a web presence] to get faster speeds when users browse their sites. It’s the whole Net Neutrality debate. The OP probably works for a “public affairs” firm that is representing the ISPs.
        So now the ISPs will make twice the amount of money – once from consumers who pay for internet access and now from the big websites who will be forced to pay for top speeds if they want to remain competitive. It’s a total giveaway to telecommunications companies by letting them effectively charge tolls on the Internet. The problem is that the OP supports Net Neutrality, but gets his/her paycheck by opposing it.

  • Rant: Going to be a monsoon tomorrow for Bike to Work Day. Always nice to stop and chat with people at my local stop, but I guess it won’t happen tomorrow.

    Rave: That butterfly feeling in your stomach when you think about seeing your SO after a long day? Yeah, that’s me this morning.

  • Power Lube, eh?

  • skj84

    Rave: Great response for popville brunch list! I tentatively would like to hold the first brunch on May 31 and the next the middle of June. Thoughts? Opinions? https://groups.google.com/forum/#!forum/popville-brunch-group

    Rant: An ex drunk dialed me yesterday.

    Rant: I don’t think the drunk dial was even intended for me.

  • Rave: nailed long series of interviews with company A and B
    Rave: got an offer from company A
    Rant: company B is now saying it will be another week before an offer is made
    Rant: company A doesn’t want to wait even one minute for me to review their offer, but I need another week!
    Rant: I wooed both companies all the way through a series of long grueling interviews, with mock presentations, tests, etc… now I think the offer is on the table they should be wooing ME instead of breathing down my neck to accept.

  • Rant: How do you guys deal with the hangover from hell at work?

  • Rant: I have been seeing a woman for a month and a half or two. We get along great. We had the “exclusive” talk a week or two ago. Things seem splendid in bed, out of bed, etc. Last night, a friend asked me to check out a woman on OKcupid who he is thinking about messaging, but wanted an opinion if she’s crazy. He has a horrific blind spot for terrible people. You know where this is going. She is still active on OKcupid. Sure, maybe coincidentally for the same reason I am but it still felt like a dagger. I guess I was putting the cart before the horse.

    • Wait, why are you on OKC then? You allude to why, but I’m not sure I get it.

      • yeah that is confusing, i would probably shut off my online dating profiles if i had a talk about being exclusive….but that is just me.

    • Sorry – I wasn’t clear.
      I had disabled my account well before we had the exclusivity talk, for multiple reasons, including that I really like this lady. I signed on for the first time in a couple of weeks last night to vet someone for a friend. That someone turned out to be the lady I am seeing exclusively.

      • epric002

        i turned off notifications from match, and then canceled my account much sooner than my now husband did. though he wasn’t actively searching for other people, it just didn’t occur to him to cancel the whole thing. on okc can you tell whether she’s still looking, or just that she hasn’t canceled her account?

      • this. this is what i hate about online dating. i had been seeing someone for almost a YEAR when the same thing happened to me! he was listed as still single, and had updated his profile since i had met him.

      • You two need to talk. It _could_ be that she just hasn’t disabled her OKCupid profile, rather than that she’s actively using it.

      • Wow! Major twist. Sounds like a codicil to the original talk is in order. I would approach with no hostility or insinuation and explain exactly what happened and see where it goes.

      • So she had been messaging him and presumably was getting to the point where the two of them would meet up (assuming that’s why your friend wanted you to vet her?) If I were you, I’d just ask her about it. Just like – “hey so, my friend wanted me to vet a potential OKC date and it turned out to be you. *nervous laughter* What are the chances of that?” And go from there. See how she responds.

        • justinbc

          OKC has thousands of active users in the DC area. The chances two friends both happen to be interested in the same woman is pretty nuts indeed.

          • Really? I have had this happen upwards of 30 times. I figured it was pretty common. I also routinely run into friends on OKC, which is always fun. I’ll send them something a message like “hey baby, do you like baby raccoons?”

          • I have a friend who went on a date with a dude, and a week later her friend went out with him. They found out when giving each other date recaps. Same bar too (Point of View), not the most original dude out there.

          • justinbc

            Beau, I definitely ran into a couple friends on there. A few of them had different sexual orientations than they had ever let anyone know about, too, which led to some interesting conversations.

          • epric002

            not totally nuts. i went out on a few dates with a guy i dubbed “the gaytian”, b/c he was from croatia and i realized he was probably gay and just didn’t know/wouldn’t admit it. (i know i’m not the only one who gave online dates distinguishing nicknames. it’s just too hard to keep 3 matts straight). ANYWAY. a few months later a friend of mine also went out with him- same first restaurant and everything. she didn’t realize he was the gaytian until after the date, when of course she called me to tell me about it 🙂

          • re: nicknames: I have a coworker who went out with a woman who represented clients before our agency. His nickname for her was “ethics violation.”

            I tend not to do the nickname thing, but my family certainly does. “What ever happened to the vet? the teacher? the nurse? the rodeo clown?”

          • justinbc

            Oh man, I had an epic one called “the cat girl”. Not because she liked or had cats, she didn’t. She acted like she was a cat, full on meowing and purring, no joke.

          • Also – I’ve already spotted one of the Ladies of PoPville on OKC…

          • “Oh man, I had an epic one called “the cat girl”. Not because she liked or had cats, she didn’t. She acted like she was a cat, full on meowing and purring, no joke.”

            Whoa, I had a college roommate like that. Wonder if it’s the same woman.

          • justinbc

            @Anon, did she go to Ohio State?

          • Accountering


          • The nicknames are the best part! My friends and I all referred to dates by nicknames only until actually dating. It helped us keep them all straight and from becoming too attached to anyone too soon (either our own dates or on behalf of our friends).
            The only downside is that one of my friends married Shoe Guy, and I always have to think to remember his actual name.

          • @justinbc – no way! My now boyfriend has told me crazy stories of a girl he used to date that acted like a cat…weird. Maybe this is a common thing…I thought it was pretty strange myself.

    • Prediction: addendum talk

    • Just ask her? If you’re uncomfortable with it just let her know. I was dating a guy for a bit and honest to god just completely forgot to disable the account – I wasn’t even checking my messages or anything. But then again the guy kept his account active and we ended things because he wasn’t sure if he was “ready for a relationship.” So it really could be either. Don’t torture yourself – bring it up next time you see her.

    • Wow, why don’t you just talk to her about it first? Maybe she just hasn’t gotten around to it yet, or forgot. If you want to be in an exclusive relationship you should be able to communicate about these things.

    • I wouldn’t worry too much about it. In that situation, I have left my account active, but not used it, as to not jinx a new relationship. If you just talk to her, she will probably put your fears to rest. It would be completely different if she was actively messaging your friend.

    • Was she messaging him, prepping to meet up, or he was just running her by you? I’m guessing it’s one of the first two…which really stinks. I was dating someone and never deactivated my account. I got sent as a match to his best friend…that wasn’t awkward 🙂

      • That’s my question too. Did she message him already or was he just thinking about messaging her and asking your opinion first (which is kind of weird if you ask me)? If it’s the latter, I don’t necessarily see a problem with her having an active account. It doesn’t mean she’s actively looking, and to be honest, a month or two in is not that long. I probably wouldn’t go canceling my account that soon either even if we had an “exclusive” talk.

    • I kept mine active to vet guys for a friend, but I told my bf that. I also didn’t do it for long after the exclusive talk.

    • I can’t believe I am the only person who thinks this guy should totally tell his bro to message this gal and see what happens.

  • Rant: Why is party planning ALWAYS one of the only things that makes me argue with my partner?
    Rave: Somehow I once again have access to personal email at work. Thank you internet god(s).
    Rave: I’m having dinner with a dear friend tonight.
    Rave: I went to my first yin yoga class last night. It is so challenging in a way that’s different from regular yoga, but so relaxing. I will be back.
    Revel: If arguing about party planning is my only rant, I’m doing pretty well. Life is good.

  • Rant: Just recently found out that my position is grant-funded and may or may not be reupped come July/August… would have been REALLY nice to know before applying or even immediately after getting hired. Is this legal?!

    • yikes…that is awful. I was hired in April for a contract that was up for an option year in july, thankfully we did get the award, but they were upfront about it (and also pretty confident in getting it). I dont think its illegal but definitely shady.

  • Rave: Life
    Rant: Product names like Mucinex and my fave, Anusol.

    • Remember “Ayds diet candy”?

      • My mom used to take those. They steadfastly refused to change the name when the AIDS epidemic hit. The market disagreed–no one wanted to pop a daily Ayds candy during the 80s.

  • justinbc

    Rant: Going to have to buy a portable AC unit for the bedroom. Even with a new, vented roof, better insulation around all the windows and doors, ceiling fan, Nest thermostat, etc, it’s just not enough to keep it as cool as I want it in there with all the sun that it gets pretty much all day long.
    Rave: Fence 90% completed yesterday, just have to fill in some gaps around the foundation and stain it…hopefully everything has time to settle before this weekend’s rain storms. Up next on the project list: framing for the skylight we had installed so that it’s actually usable and adding an electric box to the outside patio for my grill.

    • I am having the same problem with my front bedroom, which faces east. It is always warmer than the back bedroom – which is almost frigid sometimes. But interestingly enough, the living room which is under the front bedroom and also faces east does not get as warm. The only room the ac doesn’t handle well is the front bedroom.
      Is the Nest a worthwhile investment? I like the idea of being able to control my thermostat remotely. But there are a number of thermostats that can be accessed over wifi. Is there any advantage to the Nest?

      • justinbc

        Yeah, we’re on the corner, so our front bedroom gets eastern and southern sunlight. We have the same temperature differential downstairs too, in fact we had to buy a portable radiator heater for down there during the winter. It’s always about 5 to 10 degrees difference between the up and down for that side of the house. I think part of the problem might just be poor duct work extending over there, but I don’t even want to think about how much that will cost to repair right now.
        There are more remote thermostats on the market right now, but I’ve always been a fan of the Nest’s aesthetics, and the fact that it has Google to back it now only makes it have a bigger upside for me. The programmability of it is very nice, and it’s got lots of data for numbers geeks like myself.

        • What is the advantage of a Nest over a regular programmable thermostat? Do people really change their temp preferences so drastically day by day? Mine gives me 4 time options for the day, so I just set it and forget it. Easy override too if necessary.

          • justinbc

            Victoria, no clue. I never had a reliable programmable thermostat to compare it to. The ones that claimed to be never seemed to function properly. I like that with the Nest I can do it on my computer rather than some “simple” menu on the thermostat.

          • The advantage is that it looks much shinier/cooler than the competitors. 😉

          • I am interested in the nest, but have wondered if it is worthwhile for me. I work from home for the most part, so I don’t need a thermostat that “learns my patterns” as I don’t really have any. My AC is always on because in the summer unless leaving overnight because it takes FOREVER to recool my unit if it has been off. I have a 2BD/2BA condo and my electric bill climbs up in the $120-130 range in the summer which seems high. I was checking out the website and I am interested in the feature that the Nest has that reduces electricity usage by turning off the compressor but still allowing the vent to run over the cooling coils which reduced the power needed. Did you notice a drastic reduction of energy used as a result of this feature?

          • justinbc

            I’ve only had it operating for less than a month now, so too early to tell. Friends who’ve been running theirs for a year+ have reported savings of 20-30% year over year though.

    • I have lived in a couple of incredibly hot climates (including the Arabian Gulf) where buildings weren’t efficient and AC was either weak or nonexistent. We swore by our pull down shutters during the day. Even something like slatted shutters would let you block out the sun and keep air moving through.

    • Why not install a split unit instead? (money-permitting of course)

      • justinbc

        We’ve got so many other major projects going on right now that it’s just not possible to tackle it the way it needs to be done. It’s more a matter of getting by with it in an effective manner for a few years until we completely gut the kitchen area (and the adjacent storage room with AC unit) and redo the whole thing from the ground up.

    • gotryit

      There are some simpler ways to change the balance of air flow. You could partially shut some of the vents in the rooms that are getting too cold – especially if they are near the thermostat. You don’t want to shut too many or you won’t get the right amount of total air flow through the air handler (can make problems).
      You can also buy a small fan that fits on (or in place of) the vent in the room that is too warm. That will pull more cold air into the room that needs it.

      • justinbc

        Yeah we tried the vent thing, just doesn’t make enough difference for me. The person I share the bed with is like a veritable furnace, so I need quite a bit of cooling to offset her radiation. The portable units only run $300-400 for a 12K BTU one, so it’s not that big of a deal assuming it does the job.

        • You can also try duct sealing. I did it and although it is a bit pricey, it made a major difference in the volume of air that came through the vent in my master bedroom (at the end of the duct work).

        • Justin, take a look at the “Quirky + GE Aros Smart Window Air Conditioner” if you’re liking your Nest.

      • I used to shut vents but my HVAC guy said this wasn’t a good idea as it just backs up the airflow (still doesn’t really make sense to me.)

    • Haven’t read up on it much but you might want to investigate the Nest’s influence on AC units. Nest is working on the bug.

  • Rave: Ladies of popville who provided quick assurance yesterday that I would get through my HSG test ok.
    Rave: Got through my HSG test ok!
    Rant: The husb is doing his part this morning. Poor guy.

    • awesome! Where did you do it? It’s a necessary evil so I hope this means good news for you!

      • Did it at Washington Radiology. It was like Hunger Games. they give you your standard issue gown and socks. you sit in your cubicle and wait to be called. then you lay you down on a slab of metal, put some tubes up your body. it’s like a futuristic horror story. But yeah, all went ok. Thanks for rooting for me!

  • epric002

    rant: the wapo article on relisha and her godawful family. those poor children.
    rave (hopefully!): dogsitting another foster starting tomorrow 🙂
    rave: no plans this weekend, other than our house being a zoo with 4 adults and 3 dogs. should be interesting.

  • Rant: We have had persistent leaking through our roof for months (when it rains) – spent thousands on a roofer, he has been out 3 times to try to fix it. This morning he stood on our roof with hose full blast for 40 min while i waited for the leak to start – and it didn’t. He promised he would come back tomorrow when it rains. WHERE IS THIS DAMN LEAK!?!? Come on, rain – let’s see it!
    Double rant: Chasing down contractors to come back again and again and get to the bottom of a problem is so unpleasant.

    • justinbc

      That does suck, but I would be really thankful that they actually return to back up their work. From many stories I’ve heard a lot of them won’t even do that.

      • Yep. As a former roofer myself, it is true that most roofers work as a one time deal.
        I commented about this a few weeks ago. One of the reasons that roofers struggle to track down leaks after roofing work is that they are too fixated on the roof itself. They get up there, look at the roof material and lack of exposed nails, and can’t think of any other possible causes. Make sure they are checking the flashing, skylights, chimney, etc. Another thing I have seen is that some people get lazy and squeeze out a silicone bead but don’t make sure it actually seals the space.
        Have you been able to get up on the roof and take a look for yourself? It usually isn’t too hard to spot areas that might be leaking (only saying this now that I no longer rely on other people paying me to do it).

    • The leak could be in the wall near the roof, rather than the roof itself. This was the issue in my old group house – water was leaking in via old, crumbling wall masonry.

      • but it has to get in to the wall somehow, right? From the roof is the only way – either ours or our neighbors. (we’re in a row house.)

        • Is the leak in a room that has party walls on both sides? Or do you have interior courtyards?

          • Party wall (shared with neighbor) on one side of the room. other side of the room is just interior to our hallway. We have a skylight where the water pools and then drips down. but the actual leak is not at the skylight (which is new and sound). but where is the damn leak? Worried it might start at our neighbor’s place and she will likely be really unpleasant about it….

      • We’re dealing with a similar issue. We have an ongoing problem with water seeping into our side of a party wall on the third floor. The interior wall is plaster over brick, and the plaster bubbles up when it gets moist. The problem is related to where the mansard tiles tie into the flashing along the party wall. We have had several roofers monkey with the flashing, but the real solution seems to be re-roof the mansard.

  • Rant: Poop under the slide at 8th & Taylor this morning
    Rant: No one at Parks & Rec answered the phone; 311 can only tranfer me to the Parks Dept.
    Rant: trash not collected yesterday
    Rave: new neighbors seem nice.

  • Rave?: I had a good conversation from Coffee Meets Bagel! Paging Bagel Boy!

  • Rave: Date #2 with bagelgirl went well, this time at the end she asked me if i want to do this again! I said yes and we had a more mutual good night kiss this time 🙂
    Rant: DRAMA at work. Holy hell (i am 25 and by no means an expert) but it is really shocking how un-professional people can be in the workplace. Rude and disrespectful, not willing to be flexible. Our contract is up for renewal in july and i think at this point i dont even care if we win it. I am so sick of this bs. My consulting company said they might have a new contract for me to work on if we win it so i am holding out for that but also applying to other places. But jesus christ i dont know how much more of this i can take. this is blood money at this point

  • Rave: Went to a tryout last night & couldn’t believe how happy it made me to be outside playing my favorite sport again! I’m running on a wonderful high today despite being sore!
    Rant: Need to be in much much better shape if I want to make a team, pulled my hamstring in the first half hour, yikes
    Rave: Even though I had a stressful week at work I’ve been having wonderful post-work shindigs!
    Rant: Not studying for the LSAT as much as I should be, having a ton of trouble motivating myself
    Rave: For better or for worse it’ll all be over in three weeks!

  • Rant: Saw a guy taking a shit in the alley on my walk to the office. Not such a great start to the day :-/
    Rave: Today is my Friday.
    Rave: Today is the last day for CASA training…I’m excited that I got through it and that the next step will be meeting my assigned youth in the next month or so!
    Rave: Going to the lilac festival in Rochester this weekend…any tips for things I shouldn’t miss? I’ve never visited Rochester before.
    Rave: Successful negotiation at work this morning

    • Is that Court Appointed Special Advocate? That’s great! My mom actually managed a program very similar to that for nearly 20 years. Volunteers are so greatly appreciated!

    • saf

      I grew up there. Been gone a long time now, but still have family there. A few thoughts:
      The lilac festival is LOVELY. It’s at Highland Park. It is very close to Mount Hope Cemetery. where Frederick Douglass is buried.
      Go to Abbott’s Frozen Custard. I say only go to the Lake Avenue location, at Charlotte (Promounce that “Shar-lot.”) Eat lots of custard. Walk out into the lake on the pier. http://abbottscustard.com/location/lake-ave
      Go to the Genesee Brew House. Decent food (don’t miss the pretzels, eat a beef on weck.) Lovely views of the gorge and the High Falls. http://www.geneseebeer.com/brew-house
      Eat at Dinosaur BBQ. https://www.dinosaurbarbque.com/locations/rochester/
      Eat a white hot (a bratwurst style hot dog), preferably with meat sauce. If you go to Abbott’s, the Char-Broil a few doors up has good dogs.
      Seabreeze opens for the summer on Saturday! http://seabreeze.com/ Small, old fashioned amusement park by the lake. if you go there, eat a sugar waffle.
      How are you going? If you are driving, there are good antique shops and wineries along the way.
      There’s a lot more, but I’m not thinking of it right now.

    • Rochester has the best “drunk food” in the world–the garbage plate. Seriously, go to Nick Tahou’s and experience the wonder.

      Also, the George Eastman House is nice if you like photography.

      • saf

        Oh, yeah!
        Also the Susan B Anthony House, and the Science Museum (especially the planetarium), the Strong Museum, and the art gallery at the U of R.

      • justinbc

        I’ve never had one, but the garbage plate has been on my list of things to eat for quite a long time!

  • Dating question: Do you assume just because someone has made it to their mid-30’s or early 40’s without ever being married that they have some kind of major glitch? I ask because at least three of my girlfriends have said this to me recently. (Mind you, I’m divorced and in my 30’s…which is something that I’m sure is a deal-breaker for some people…so I am very slow to judge, especially based on generalizations.) I’m interested to hear people’s thoughts on this!

    • I don’t. I’ll be 44 next week and I’ve never been married. Been with the same gf for 3 years.

    • I am 34, F, have a kick ass job, like beers and music, mentalyl stable, have a great group of long term friends from HS and new friends and in between friends…no kids and I have never been married. Have had some great relationships, not sure I’m tied to the marriage institution, not sure as a society were are meant to be with just one person for the rest of our lives at this point…but if I do find my penguin mate and want to get married, so be it. Haven’t found the right person and haven’t taken the dive. Honestly, I am glad I am not divorced (just personally, could give a rat’s ass if someone else is)

    • I don’t assume it’s the reason but I recognize that it’s a possibility.

    • I didn’t until a year ago. And only based on my dating experiences. Well not major glitch necessarily, but I could figure out within one date why she hadn’t been married yet (except in one case it took a 2nd date). And to make it clear, it wasn’t necessarily their personality. A couple times it was due to life circumstances…

    • I am in my 30s and never married, so no, I don’t see it as a glitch. I see it as having standards. BOOM.

      • Yep. Some folks know what they’re looking for/what they want/don’t want and for some, being married by a particular age isn’t a priority. I’m not saying that I don’t want to be married, but I don’t care about being married by a certain age, as if I’m living my life just checking off boxes (married at 30, kids by 33, house in the burbs, etc. etc…). If I met “the one” at 25, that woulda been awesome. If I don’t meet him until 45, then so be it.

        • Yeah it always astounds me how some people have a checklist of milestones they need to meet by a certain age. I guess if you’re a female and you want to have kids, you do have a little more pressure on you than guys or ladies who don’t want kids (like myself). I just don’t understand how you can assign a timeframe for something as important as who you’ll marry.

    • People in their 20’s can have a major glitch – thought folks were marrying older and wiser these days?

      • binpetworth

        Yeah, I’m 40 and never married and cringe at my 20-something self. So glad I didn’t get married then! I think it wasn’t until I was in my mid-30s that I even felt I was truly mature enough for something like marriage.

    • Since I’m 44 and never been married, I certainly hope not., and it’s kind of depressing to know that people must think that “there’s something wrong with her.”

    • I do about men but not women but I realize most people judge women more harshly than men for being single over 30. I spent my “prime” decade in a relationship with someone I ended things with a year ago and I’ll be paying for that poor decision-making (staying so long, not leaving) for the rest of my life. At 32 I feel like a leper and I’ve basically given up on the idea of ever getting hitched or even being loved again.

    • There are plenty of people out there who do think that something “is wrong with you” if you’ve never been married. Those also tend to be shallow, judgmental, conventionally boring people who I really have no desire to be friends with (let alone date or marry), so it’s no skin off my back if they feel that way. Their closed mindedness is their loss, IMHO.
      We also live in a much different time, in terms of marriage vs. long term dating vs. cohabitation. If you got into your mid 30s without ever having a serious relationship that lasted more than 1 year, I’d say that there’s probably something a bit odd about you and how you relate to other people. It’s also indicative that you might have some intimacy and trust issues. That wouldn’t necessarily mean I automatically reject you, but I’d probably be more attuned to your emotional stability.
      I’m currently 32, unmarried, and have been dating the same lady now for over 2 years. Before her, I dated a woman for 1 year, then another woman for 6 years (lived together and got engaged, but broke up), another woman for 1 year, and then my high school girlfriend for 2 years. So I’ve had a lot of long term and meaningful relationships. Had I been born in the 50s or 60s, I’d probably have been divorced multiple times by now because I would have gotten married before I knew what I wanted. I’m glad I know have the freedom to date long-term and even live together before tying the knot.
      Even though our generation will be under the yoke of debt for the rest of our lives, I do think we will have much less divorces and better relationships than my parents’ generation (who, btw, divorced after 25 years of marriage. Le sigh.)

      • “If you got into your mid 30s without ever having a serious relationship that lasted more than 1 year, I’d say that there’s probably something a bit odd about you and how you relate to other people.”
        I get what you’re saying here, but it’s also possible that you were just focused on other things (moving around for job opportunities/grad school, etc.) that just didn’t make relationships easy/practical/convenient/etc. I know lots of people make relationships work as they’re going through things, figuring things out, pursuing opportunities before “settling down”, etc. But some people (myself included) just want to be in a place where they’ve done things/accomplished things as an individual that are important to them prior to making themselves available for someone else. At least that’s my reason.

        • I totally understand what you’re saying, but at the same time I’d seriously question a person’s ability to make a marriage work if they’ve never had a serious relationship by the time they hit their mid 30s. That said, do what’s best for you. But I’d just rather experience heartbreak and make mistakes in my 20s when the stakes are a lot lower (i.e. no rush to have kids or “settle down”).
          It’s through hard work, learning from our mistakes, and diligence that we find success at school and in the office, right? The same thing goes for relationships – people need to “practice” being in them, figuring out what they want/don’t want in a partner, and need to be able to make mistakes. If you’ve never been in a relationship, how would you know that this other person is right for you? I couldn’t fathom marrying someone without having experienced other (failed) relationships and learning from them.
          Furthermore, you can still achieve a great deal of personal success in your career and education and still have time for dating and relationships. It’s not an either/or proposition and tons of people do it. I just think it’s risky to wait until your mid 30s to enter the dating pool; you’re more likely to be disappointed by the compromises you will be required to make.

          • I totally get what you’re saying and see your point. I guess for me, I just haven’t met someone to have those early relationships to which you speak with. So does that mean that I’m some how flawed? I definitely didn’t want to enter into a relationship with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship/getting that experience. There are plenty of guys that I could have been in a relationship with, but they just weren’t for me, and for various reasons just wouldn’t have worked with my situation at the time. I also totally agree that people make relationships work as they’re doing other things (school, demanding jobs, etc.) all the time, but I used to travel a lot for work, and guys just couldn’t grasp the fact that no, I can’t meet you for dinner on Wednesday night because I’m out of town for work all week, every week. But like I said, I totally see where you’re coming from, but I just feel like the fact that I haven’t been in a serious relationship since my very early 20s (I’m now 30) doesn’t mean that I couldn’t be a dang good girlfriend now. I know exactly who I am now, what I want out of life, and what I want in a partner. And I was somehow able to figure all that out despite the fact that I didn’t learn those lessons from other relationships.

          • Oh, you’re only 30? 30 is waaaaaaay different than 35, IMHO. Especially if you want to (someday) have kids.
            You have plenty of time – i.e., now – to date guys and figure it out. If you had waited until 35 or 36 to start dating, it would be a whole different (and more stressful) ball game. Good luck! 🙂

    • I didn’t marry until I was 41. I only have minor glitches, though my wife might disagree.

    • No because marriage isn’t for everyone. I know people in their 50s and 60s who have never been married and are happy as clams that way. I think the big difference is we have a lot more choice now. Therefore more people are choosing to either delay marriage or not get married at all. I don’t think being unmarried in your 30s or 40s carries nearly the same stigma it did 20 or 30 years ago.

    • Andie how is the book going?

    • justinbc

      No. But I’m also a guy, and guys don’t think about that kind of stuff the same way women do. 😉

    • special_k

      I hope not! But we (myself included) have to get past the notion that just because people got married means they’re “the good ones” and that all marriages are happy and healthy.

    • I think a lot of people make this assumption, and it is a stupid assumption. Many interesting, functional people aren’t in committed relationships by their 30s-40s for a variety of reasons: by choice, lack of meeting the right partner, etc. It doesn’t mean that those people are damaged goods or that there’s something “wrong” with them.

    • Everyone has some sort of glitch. Why would you expect to find a human without one or two.

    • I’m 45 and married. What I find is that there are lots of great people out there but when you get to a certain age they are usually single because they were once seriously involved with a crazy person or a cheater but didn’t know it yet. Thank the crazy ladies they have put plenty of decent but slightly tenderized guys out there on the market.
      But you have to watch out for the guys I call them “Fake Mr. Right.” They say all the right things, have interesting jobs and interests, nice families, you think maybe you’ve finally found The One but it turns out they just aren’t that into you or are serial monogamists with commitment issues. Fun for a while until they crush your pride.

  • Flags are at half staff today. Did someone important die?

  • Accountering

    Rant: Having to let someone go today for cause. First time I have done this, and not sure I am ready for this, but its got to be done.

    Rant2: He has been on a PIP for 60 days, and didn’t really come close to meeting what we were asking of him.

    • PIP = Personal Improvement Plan?

    • saf

      That’s so hard. Sympathy.

    • I’m not a supervisor, but I imagine it’s terribly difficult. If it’s a person who has been a continuous problem, your team will appreciate you for it though. We have one person on our team who just brings everyone else down by not pulling his weight. The rest of the team is so awesome and it sucks that one person can affect everyone else negatively. Management has done little to nothing about it and he’s been riding on everyone else’s coattails for 2 years now. Believe me, I’d appreciate a supervisor who makes tough decisions like you’re doing.

      • Accountering

        This is remarkably similar to my team. I have been putting in the work for a while to get this done, and while it is certainly the right move for our team, it is still tough to call someone in and tell them they are no longer needed. Have been putting some time into how I am going to say it, but yeah, not an easy situation. We will be better in the long-run as a result though.

    • My advice? Keep it short. The person who I first observed doing firings dragged them out, enumerating people’s mistakes, and it was awful. Now when I fire people I keep it short, simple, and non-judgmental. 9 times out of 10 the person knows well enough why they’re being fired and if they demand a reason, keep it vague. Don’t try to displace blame or indicate in any way, though, that you disagree with the decision. That can come back to bite you. Own it. Good luck.

      • Accountering

        Appreciate the advice, and noted. Will definitely keep this in mind.

      • saf

        Usually. I had one who was on a PIP before he finished his probationary period. (Not my idea. I wanted to just fire him, as I knew he was the wrong person for the job and he was still in his probationary period!).
        Anyhow, he still had no idea why he was being let go. He just did not get it.

  • Rave: drugs. I have a z pack, flonaze, and all of my over the counter pain meds. Flonaze smells like my favorite spring flower- vibernum. So weird.
    Rave: I stopped at Ted’s after my doctors appointment yesterday and I saw Braden Holtby stop in and buy stuff at the bakery counter. My chocolate milk was not what the doctor ordered, but it made me feel better.
    Rant: my neck still hurts and my brain is still fuzzy. I told myself before I got to work today that I am only doing the priority things that need to be done today, but people still want superfluous stuff from me.
    Rave: I told someone the thing she wants isn’t priority, so I’m no going to get to it. It’s freeing to be honest about that.

  • Rant: Last night my car was almost hit by a taxi, so I honked and swerved around him. Taxi driver pulled up next to our car to tell my wife and me to go back to where we came from because we’re “obviously not from here.”
    Rave: That’s never happened with Uber.

    • That’s happened to me on a few occasions, expect they make sexist comments about how women shouldn’t drive or how we should “respect” male drivers and always give them the right of way. It’s disgusting.

  • Rehash: Did someone ask about other people who watch Revenge earlier this week? I finally caught up. WTF?! I was actually impressed with the Victoria plot, Charlotte has totally lost track of who her support system is, and I HATED the Conrad ending. No, you cannot just bring this character back and you cannot just get rid of one without more justice being served. I am choosing to ignore that plot twist.


      My jaw dropped in the last minute with Conrad. I loved seeing Victoria in the ward. But yeah, that plot twist. Personally I rationalize it by thinking it’s his twin brother.

  • leftcoastsouthpaw

    Rave: Vegas!
    Rant: Redeye back from Vegas
    Rave: Been dating a pretty awesome person

  • Rant: Bought a thing of Welch’s Fruit Snacks from the vending machine and they’re really hard – like Jujubees hard! Did Welch’s change how they make them or did I get a bad batch? I remember they used to be soft, like gummy bears.

  • Rant: Bedbugs. Roommates and I have been dealing with them for a long time. They just came back after a 3rd chemical treatment several weeks ago – of course we find out literally a day or two after we started taking clothes out of bags and putting them back. We live in a row house and haven’t been able to get the adjoining neighbors to see if they have any/get treatment. Think they’re going into the walls and coming back after treatment. We’re at our wits end with this.
    Rave: Awesome, supportive boyfriend who keeps me on an even keel and able to manage the stress from this.
    Rave: Going on vacation to Florida next week. Seriously need some time on a beach to veg out.

    • Move out. At this point, I’d leave. They are probably in your neighbor’s place and coming in through cracks in the walls and electrical outlets.
      How did you find out that you had them again? Have you used the dog to do a thorough inspection? I’d highly recommend the dog, as it can tell you which rooms are infected and thus should be the focus of your efforts.

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