Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user wolfpackWX

You can talk about whatever is on your mind โ€“ quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct peopleโ€™s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

87 Comment

  • Rave: Will board a plane tomorrow for the Rockies for a pre-Christmas ski trip!!
    Rant: Today is not tomorrow.

    • Where to? I hope to follow in your footsteps (jet stream? ski tracks?) mid-January. Would like to live vicariously until then.

  • Rant: I saw an Atlantic Transportation Services van deliberately run a red light at H & North Capitol this morning. Not even a yellow-turning-red light. The van was stopped, the light turned red, and they went for it, with pedestrians already in the crosswalk. I see unsafe driving at this intersection all the time, but this was really egregious.
    Rave: I took note of the van number reported the incident on the company’s website and a manager emailed me back within a few hours, saying “We will address this immediately with the driver and continue to remind them of the importance of safety.” Whether or not they will actually do anything, it’s better than nothing.

    • I frequently see ATS drivers do stupid/unsafe things. Saw one blatantly run a red light last night on my way home from work. As someone who walks two miles to work and back almost every day, I’m really getting tired of people running red lights in DC. The 30-45 seconds you might save isn’t worth my life. Just stop at the damn light.

  • rave: the DIane Rehm show today
    rant: how is it so easy for kids to find pot, and so hard for adults?

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: Off to an annual review that got moved up 4 months.
    Rave: Maybe I’ll get a raise this year.
    Rant: Won’t find out about possible raise January.
    Rave: At least it’s not a flat no like last year.

  • Rave: Holiday party tonight!
    Rant: People who refuse to RSVP even after 6 emails and just show up unannounced. It is impossible to plan to have enough food and cocktails on hand for a large party when so many invitees refuse to tell you their plans.
    Rave: Almost done with Christmas shopping!
    Rant: People who refuse to make up a list, especially when they live far away. I’m giving them gift cards and calling it a day. If they wanted more personalized selections, they should have communicated better.
    Theme: The holidays are hard when you’re a planner dealing with people who refuse to give you the smallest bit of communication to make things run smoothly.

    • Seriously.. WHY will no one RSVP anymore even when I know with 95% certainty they are coming?!

    • Emmaleigh504

      There is a special Hell for people who do not RSVP.

      • Is the special hell an eternal party they have to host where unexpected guests keep showing up and there’s never enough food or booze?

      • I’m going to hell then. There were extenuating circumstances, though, for this one. Including the lack of an e-mail address as an option for a reply, (meaning I couldn’t do this at 2am when I actually have time). This was the type of party where a gift would be expected, in an exurb that’s not accessible by public transportation, in the middle of holiday chaos, not to mention my personal chaos. And the invite was from someone I haven’t had any contact with in years. I still feel bad about not rsvp-ing, but I also wish the host had made it a little bit easier for me to do so. ๐Ÿ™

    • I think it’s worse for large parties because people figure plus or minus one person is not going to fundamentally change how much booze, food, munchies, etc. the hosts have to prepare. And maybe there’s a little truth to that, as long as the non-repliers are a relatively small proportion of the total list of invitees.

      • Exactly. We usually have an idea of how many people to expect. But this year the number is about 30 less than usual and we can’t get people to give us a yes or a no so we can tell if we will be OK with the usual count or if we’re going to lose money because the count will be less. It is so infuriatingly inconsiderate.

        • Maybe fill in the difference of needs between low-ball estimate and max attendance with non-perishables that you can bring out if needed (nuts, crackers, etc.), or keep for another time if you don’t. The booze won’t go bad so assume the high number.

      • This is my problem. Then those people bring one or two people and the number is truly thrown off. I am throwing a NYE party, and there are only 11 confirmed guests including myself and my roommate, but well over 30 have orally mentioned the will probably come, and even more are exepcted to show up. That is a huge disparty, that we are gonig to plan for, but it would be nice if they could just click one little button to I’m not worried between now and then.

  • Rant: Really hard fighting negative feelings and bitterness about being single during the holidays.

    • Maybe it is time to take an assessment of all the GOOD things that are in your life and be grateful for that. Write these things out on a list. It’s probably the Irish in me, but I am a firm believer in “it could always be worse.” There are a lot of good and simple things out there to be thankful for even when you’re single! ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Yup, that’s what I’m trying to do… see things glass half full. It’s been a long war this year fighting my depression and I thought I was ready for the holidays but it’s still hard. Being surrounded by really good friends during this time has helped a lot.

        • Sorry you are feeling these pains. You are not alone!! Keep the faith!

          • It’s not like I want to focus on this stuff but I am. That’s depression for you. At the end of the day, I am still alive, in good health, have great circle of friends, and am seeing my family this Xmas for first time in 3 years. So I do have a lot to be thankful for.

            But depression is not a reasonable or accommodating thing. It’s the exact opposite. Irrational and debilitating at times. And I’m really trying hard to not to have a pity party for myself. It’s really tough.

    • to be honest i am pretty happy about being single during the holidays. For one, you arent required to buy any gifts for your significant other, you arent required to go to their parents place for a holiday thing (cringe worthy usually). I agree that it is very nice to have a partyner to sleep with during these cold months…but it doesnt need to be the same person every time ๐Ÿ™‚ . Put yourself out there, i think youd be surprised what will happen if you get out of your comfort zone just a little bit

    • Why focus on being single? I guarantee just because someone is in a relationship it does not mean they are super happy during the holidays.

  • Rant: Best friend lost her mom yesterday. We’re now planning for her funeral, and it suddenly doesn’t feel like Christmas
    Rave: Being surrounded by loved ones, even in the worst of times, is a blessing.
    Rave: My puppy is eternally joyful, it’s amazing and so uplifiting

  • Today’s my Friday! I leave for California tomorrow morning!

    Rant: 5:20 AM flights out of Dulles. UGH.

    Big huge giant Rant: Performance review this afternoon. I always get myself so worked up about them, and the anxiety disorder doesn’t help any. I hate them so much. I’m just telling myself that I’m not getting fired since I had to do 2014 goals and planning an event later this month that they wouldn’t have me doing if they were getting rid of me.

    • Ugh, i know that feeling well. I get SO nervous about reviews, even when I know they’re likely to go well. Good luck!

    • Good luck!

      I agree that they make me anxious. Do you meet with your supervisor regularly? In my previous position I didn’t, so I couldn’t assess her thoughts on my performance well before my reviews (though sometimes I think her reviews were just a surprise and no amount of interaction would have prepared me). With my new boss I meet weekly to go over the intense amount of stuff I have going on. I try to remember to ask for feedback from him every once in a while, it’s a perpetual item on my to do list. Now I have a better gauge of the outcome before I even go in for my reviews. It’s just a thought, it has definitely helped me, but not all supervisors are forth coming with feedback or are willing to give feedback that’s reflective of what they give you in a review.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Good luck on your review, and have a great vacation!

    • RANT: Urgh, got my bonus yesterday. It was so bad that my bonus was cut in half from last year, while everyone else in my team got bonus increases of 50-100%. I’m so annoyed and depressed right now about it. I had such a crappy performance review in October, even though I made great strides and got a promotion this year. My team completed a HUGE project this year that was over 2 years in the making, so this was supposed to be a huge bonus year for all of us.
      I simply just don’t get along with my “assigned” manager (my team of 15 people has two managers). I get along great with the other manager, as he’s very outgoing and we have a good working relationship. He’s also much more generous in giving out better performance reviews to his assigned employees, as he wants them to be happy and well compensated. But my manager is just very stingy and it takes A LOT more effort to impress her. Furthermore, I did not work on many projects with her this year. My manager has also recently thrown a ton of projects at me, so much so that I need to cancel some of my holiday travel and work from home next week. It’s not very motivating to know that I got a shitty bonus while my coworkers are enjoying a bonus that’s $10K more than mine.

      • Rant: I never get a bonus. And not because of my performance, I work for a company that just doesn’t give them. At least I make a couple of thousand extra in cash every year by playing music. That always helps.

        • I’ve never worked for a company that gives them either, but it seems like the places that do are toxic environments to work in. I personally would rather work with cooperative, supportive people and forgo the annual check.

      • Sounds like you should change jobs or try to move to another team.

      • If you received a negative review just months ago I am not sure what you expected come bonus time. Typically, if your bonus is down in a year when other peers’ bonuses are up, it’s a sign that you are not valued. In your spot I would take stock of what your “value” is in the job market and start looking.

  • Rant – Not really a major rant, but I’m kinda sad about spending Christmas with my SO’s family instead of my own. Is it OK/normal to feel sad about this? I’m 29 and I feel like I should grow up and deal with it, but I can’t help the small part of me that feels sad that I won’t wake up on Christmas morning in my parent’s house and go downstairs to open presents with my family.
    Rave – One more day of work until vacation!

    • I’ve been married for 7 years, am in my mid-thirties, and still get sad about this. I think it’s ok/normal.

    • I think that feeling is natural. Is there a way to incorporate some of your family traditions into their celebration? Growing up, I always baked cookeis with my mom on Christmas Eve and my boyfriend had a certain meal with his mom, so we’ve incorporated both of those into our celebration and it makes it feel a little more normal.

      • We have added a lot of traditions to our family as my siblings have gotten married and their spouses add something from their own family. It makes it feel more like the holiday for them and improves the holiday for us, too!

    • Nothing wrong with wanting to be with your family, but part of growing up is living your life as you rather than your life as a kid in your parent’s life. That means spending some holidays with SO’s family instead of yours, or maybe even spending them with neither. You should be able to embrace whomever you’re spending the holidays with more than you miss the people you’re not.

      • Very true, thanks Anon and others for validating my feelings. You’re right about living a life as “myself” rather than a kid in my parent’s life. This is the first time that I won’t be with my family for Christmas and I’m sad about missing out on our family traditions. But I’m also happy to be a serious and loving relationship with my SO, and happy to spend the holidays with his family too.

    • I think that’s totally a normal way to feel! IMO, you are dealing with it by doing it with (I’m guessing only minimal complaining). And, I’m sure on that day, you’ll be in a good mood and be fun to be around. It’s natural to want to spend the day with your family and not immature to feel that way as long as you’re not making a big fuss about it!

    • Emmaleigh504

      If you would rather be with your family go be with them. Don’t bring everyone else down because they do things not to your liking.

      • Emmaleigh504

        Let me add that I’m saying this b/c I’ve had many a holiday ruined because traditions were changed or not done properly and I would rather those people do their own thing than be sulky or pitch a raging fit (Quatia Zelda) because things were different. Do what you like, make yourself happy, if that’s being with your family, do it.

        • IMO that’s bad advise. part of being an adult and in a relationship is taking one for the team. You suck it up one year and next year the other person in the relationship sucks it up.

          • Why should anyone suck it up? Being an adult means you can make your own choices, even if you are in a relationship.

          • Emmaleigh504

            Part of sucking it up is not being sad/sulky/pitching a fit. Not that I think Pixie would, but I know so many people who have. Get over it. Things change. If you don’t like the change make things happen they way you want.

          • L, you are only correct if you’re talking about casual relationships. I can assure you that serious relationships require joint decision-making at least some of the time. That’s kind of what differentiates them from just having a good friend that you also have sex with.

          • Well thank you for assuring me of something I already know. I’ve just never felt that joint decision making in my 10 year relationship has ever resulted in someone “sucking it up” and “taking one for the team.” Perhaps it’s just how you look at it.

    • It’s quite normal, but don’t give your husband a hard time about it. That’s not fair. I’m sure he also has twangs of longing when he’s with your family for the holidays. This all part of becoming an adult and making the necessary compromises because you’re in a relationship.
      Perhaps start making new traditions with the family that you and your husband are building?

      • Oh I’d never give him a hard time about it and understand it’s about compromise. I’ve just had this pang of nostalgia about how childhood Christmases with my parents and all my sibling are over. But I’m also exciting about making new traditions with my SO, his family, and my nieces and nephews!

    • I really don’t get why everyone seems to think that you have to spend the holidays with your S.O., and therefore everyone alternates going to one family. Me and my S.O. both do our own things on the holidays. I get it if you have kids together, but otherwise, there’s no rule stating that you must be attached to your S.O. on Christmas. If you want to spend it with your own family and can deal with one day apart, do so.

      • Exactly. We do our own Thanksgiving together, but spend Xmas with our respective families. I think it’s a good compromise.

      • I don’t think anyone said it’s a rule, but people like to spend holidays with those they love the most, and SO should be pretty high on that list, along with immediate family. Also I think it depends what you mean by SO: if SO is just some person you’re dating then that’s one thing. If SO is a spouse or very-long-term partner then that’s different. It’s great that you do what works for you but don’t act like it’s a big mystery why SO’s spend the holidays together and/or with one or the other family.

        • It is a mystery to me. I don’t get the big deal. I am not super into holidays and neither is my SO (who would be considered a very long term partner). To me, a holiday is one day where I hang out with my family. I see my SO every day, so spending one day apart is a non issue, and I’d much rather he be happy doing whatever he wants to do.

          • Well, here’s the key to the mystery then: in most serious relationships, SO is considered their closest family. So spending holiday with family = spending it with SO. I’m not judging or endorsing any particular stand, I just don’t think it’s hard to understand the prevalent view here.

          • Umm okay. My definition of family = blood relatives, not “people I’m closest to.” For many, by that definition, family would not include blood relatives at all. As someone who does not care about holidays other than the fact that it means I get to see my blood relatives, I do not consider not spending the day with my SO to be a big deal, or to mean, as you suggest, that I am not close to my SO.

          • I think the issue here is how important the holiday is to you, not whether you consider your SO to be family. Christmas has always been a bit thing for me, so spending it apart from my SO is going to be really hard, i.e., harder than being apart on a normal day.

          • L, first, do you ask yourself why it means you get to see your blood relatives, and why on the holidays? Why don’t you just see them some other time? The answer is because that’s when everyone comes together with the people they love. That doesn’t always mean *everybody* you love, but it includes SOs as much as blood relatives (for most people). And I would add that typically, in a serious relationship, your SO becomes part of your family and vice versa. I see that you draw the holiday-visting lines at blood relatives and that’s cool, but that’s not where most people draw it.
            Second, I didn’t suggest you weren’t close to your SO at all – I was just spelling out how it works for most people since you keep claiming to not understand it. I specifically said I wasn’t judging or endorsing anything in particular, so I think you’re just being contrary for the sake of it at this point. Happy holidays.

          • I’d be fine with seeing my blood relatives another time if that was when they got together. My point was that if the OP was so unhappy about spending the holidays with their SO’s family, that it is not mandatory to spend every holiday with your SO, and if they want to spend it with their blood relatives, who they presumably see less often than their SO, then go for it.

      • That’s true, but I’d like to spend Christmas with my SO, regardless what family we are visiting. We already spend Thanksgiving apart so we like to do Christmas together, and that means making compromises and making new traditions.

      • My reasoning is that I get to see my SO almost every day, whereas I see my immediate family in NJ only once every month or two. And if extended relatives are there for Christmas I definitely want the chance to see them too. My girlfriend just has her mom who she doesn’t want to leave here alone, and Christmas isn’t a big holiday for them anyway since they’re not Christian. This is our 6th Christmas since we started dating and it’s never occurred to us to do it any other way. I think it’s also less expected that you go places as a unit when you’re in a same-sex relationship.

        • So very true. I’m sure my GF’s parents would love if I came for Xmas, but my parents would be very upset. To make our respective families happy, we have our own little Christmas together and then spend the actual holiday apart. It’s a compromise and so far it has worked out fine.

    • I feel the same way. We got married in October and are still splitting up for Xmas. Which also makes me sad. But no kids yet, for what may be the last year, so before our lives possibly get upheaved…we’re doing our own thing. I am going down with him this weekend though, and just coming back the 23rd. My parents live nearby so we see them regularly.

      When he came for Thanksgiving, I got his mom’s mac and cheese recipe so he had something “homey” – maybe you could bring a tradition of your own to his family, if that would help?

  • Rave: going home for the holidays tmrw. Can’t wait to hang with my niece and nephew, eat good, and watch tv all day
    Rant: getting caught in office politics. My supervisor doesn’t get that the cool kids don’t want her to sit at their table and she has so many feels

  • Rave: Bought a brand new car last week. First new car in a long time :). Planning on driving it home to NJ for a holiday party this weekend ๐Ÿ™‚
    Rant: Some a$$hole in the parking lot at work side-swiped my car last night and did not leave a note. Big surprise! Hopefully cameras caught it all on tape.
    Rant: Guess I will be looking into other ways to get home for the holiday party and not looking forward to paying a $500 deductible ๐Ÿ™

    • That’s some Scrooge McDuck behavior right there. I would be PISSED. You should definitely figure out who did it. That’s nuts that a coworker wouldn’t leave a note. Talk about screwing up your career.

      • Trust me, I’m pissed. The best part is that I work in a very secure building with secured parking and lots of cameras. The individual would have had to be a coworker with access to the lot. I have white paint all up and down the side of my (dark gray) car along with the scrapes and two dents. Whoever hit it, hit it hard. The person’s vehicle has to have damage.

  • Rave: My best friend – he is amazing and I can’t believe I’m this lucky
    Rave: Had a great dinner and after dinner celebration
    Rant: Stupid $25 minimum charge on card at bar meant that 4 beers and 2 shorts of fireball made sense….
    Rave: ^ totally worth it though

    Thanks HispanicandProud – you are so great and most certainly PoP Rave worthy on a daily basis!!!

  • epric002

    rant: day 3 of stomach bug. FML
    rant: am a bridesmaid in my bro & FSIL’s wedding. maid of honor is planning the bridal shower and has very expensive tastes she wants everyone else to help pay for, and all of stuff she likes does not seem to suit the bride at all. i’ve never met her before and am trying to nicely scale things down over email- this is really frustrating. i thought i was past this kind of wedding nonsense. blarg.

    • Do yourself a favor and set a budget for your brother’s wedding now. And then stick to it. Tell the maid of honor “I’m sorry, that’s well beyond my budget.” Tell the bride “I’m really sorry, that dress doesn’t fit my budget.” Act like this budget is something that is imposed upon you, completely out of your control, and you’re just doing your best to contribute to a lovely time for everyone within its constraints. Surprise bachelorette trip to Atlantic City? Oh, bummer! You hadn’t budgeted for that! Would it be ok if you sent a gag gift, or a special letter for someone to read to the bride during the toasts?

      • epric002

        you know, it was originally the budget, but when i figured out what she’s doing with the budget, which is the opposite of their wedding colors/themes/what they would pick/what we could re-use from their engagement party, etc….UGH! one minor success- i think i talked her out of the $70 etsy invitation template…

  • Rave: The Popville 9:30 Club ad just posted. Now I’m imagining what the talent shows could have been like if Prince, Madonna and Michael Jackson had been in nursery school together….

  • Rave: Rode the carousel at Zoo Lights last night! (And happy to see that I was in fact not the only childless adult on there, thank you very much! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) Bonus: The relatively light crowds meant that my date and I were first in line, and the red panda and clouded leopard were ours for the taking! Really fun to be a “kid” again for a few minutes.

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