Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user UStreetV

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

159 Comment

  • Does anyone know what’s up with the Andromeda Transcultural Health Center on 14th, across from the bus barn? It hasn’t changed in the smallest detail in years and years, and I’ve never seen anyone go in or out. But they have a website that looks relatively up to date. And the plants look real (from the car, anyway) and healthy. I have evolved all kinds of theories about what really goes on in there…

  • Rant: That picture…it’s so typical and so unacceptable.

    Rave: Major progress on baby prep this weekend. A couple of major nursery projects done. Productive trip to IKEA for lighting, mirrors, and a rug. That place was a zoo, but whatever. Got the car seat installed, and had a meeting w/ 5 out of the 6 new/soon to be parents in the neighborhood (6 boys, oldest is now 2 mos., the youngest comes in Oct.)
    Rave II: Even w/ all the baby prep I still had a ton of free time this weekend. Drank lots of cider and watched lots of football (the real kind).

  • Rant: I have been here about a year now. It has been a social struggle. I am use to dealing with finical troubles and etc, but these struggles of making friends is something really new to me. Compared to other cities I feel DC people are very nice but very closed off. Character is lacking here and talking to people outside your social circle is rare, I feel. I go through cycles of trying to find the reason why it is tough for me and to be honest I cannot blame it all on this city. I love how pretty it is here and I do not want to give up. I very shy person at the start so I am trying to fix that. I dunno for some reason complaining on here makes me feel better.
    PS: I use to enjoy politics but since moving here and hearing people talk about it 24/7 , I hate it.

    • If you think I lack character just because of the zip code that I live in, I probably don’t want to be your friend.

      Try finding a hobby or something that people enjoy–fan club, cooking, arts, movie, etc. Walk in without prejudging everyone there. I get tired of people moving to DC and living here for a short time and deciding they know everyone in the city and totally understand us all.

      • I may judge you on the lack of character but I will give it a chance and I will determine that then. From my experience that is how I feel so please tell me why you think differently. I have played in rec leagues multiple times and I go to concerts in a music scene were it seems most people are from Baltimore instead of DC at them(I guess punk is a couple steps from the grave here(STILL SOME AMAZING PUNK BANDS PLAYING AROUND HERE THOUGH) . Some blame does rest on my shoulders for the reason I do judge people but its not in a “I am better than you” way more like “why bother they dont wanna talk me” but that partially comes from people here making me that way. Yeah , you are right some people do have character here but I feel a huge lack of diversity(DC is diverse but in social circles I use to be a part of it is not). The problem may stem from the fact I was very comfortable were I lived in the past and was expecting something from the start but a good foundation does take time. I was reaching out not shaming everyone here. ITS ALL ON YOURSELF IN THE END , I KNOW

        • I missed that, would you remind restating?

        • I wonder if you’re telegraphing all of these expectations and prejudgements and it’s turning people away. As someone who is shy and introverted and who doesn’t make friends easily, I feel for you, I really do. But I feel like a lot of the responsibility here is yours. Do things you enjoy, keep an open mind, and see what happens.

          • I think OnWithTheShow is just limiting himself/herself to a extremely narrow group of shitty people. If you’re hearing people talk about politics 24/7 your social circle is very small indeed. Most people here don’t give a shit about politics or at least not talking about them.

    • I’ve actually found it the opposite here. Moved here 12 years ago solely for the job and knew absolutely no one here. T took despise the “who do you work for” crowd, and they are here in DC, but that is not everyone. I have a great circle of friends that are closer to me than my own family and it hurts whenever one of them moves from the region. And I have managed to keep making new friends every and every year. I am not an extrovert but I am very social and can easily float into conversations but I’m not Mr. Popular by any means.

      You’ve looked a bit in the mirror but maybe look closer. You admit you’re shy, but maybe look to see if you are extremely introverted beyond shy. Or could be the flip side in that you’re overcompensating and turning people off to your (fake) personality.

      • “You admit you’re shy, but maybe look to see if you are extremely introverted beyond shy”

        It’s a misconception that introverted people have trouble making friends. That’s not true at all. We may not have as many friends, but that’s because we don’t want that many. The OP either has social anxiety (a totally different and unrelated beast) or perhaps is being too picky and judgmental.

        • You’re right, wrong choice of words. I am not saying introvert personality cannot make friends, but rather wanted to say that you may have a social anxiety/disability that causes you to be introverted and avoid making friends.

          In trying to help the OP, maybe widen your scope of hobbies/interests? You mentioned punk shows (woot) and kickball… try indulging in more?

          Everyone has different character and ease/difficulties in opening up to new people. It’s something I’ve had to struggle with as I’m in that crappy demographic of single/divorced early 40s non-white persons… I have a fair amount of still single friends, I have a lot of coupled friends and only lost a few to child births. I’ve worked hard to expand my interests to do more and try and meet anyone and everyone I can.

    • i’ve found the opposite! i’ve been here for about 9 months and have been very pleasantly surprised at how easy it’s been to make friends, and how welcoming everyone is. but i’m hugely extroverted, which probably helps.

    • I’ve found DC to be one of the easiest places in teh world to make friends. There are a ton of 20-30 somethings who are looking to hang out, have a beer, and be outside. If you are relying on your job to find friends, that may be your problem. Go play kickball (yeah, it’s lame, but it’s a way to make friends), join a softball team, play bocce, or go sit at a bar/coffee shop/bookstore/park and talk to other people. There’s always someone else looking to connect here!

    • I have become that person who is less than enthusiastic about making new friends, because I have so many already. Victim of my own success. Easier/ better here in DC than anywhere else I’ve ever lived.

    • Everyone is different – some find it easy to make friends here, others find it difficult. Echoing what others say – do what you enjoy. Look at the meet-up groups as there seems to be a wide variety of activities. Take a class (cooking, dance, photography), go to church, volunteer…

    • I feel your pain. When I first got here, I made a lot of friends with work people who were also new to my agency. I also made friends through various churches I’ve gone to. Now, 10 years later, most of my friends have moved to different cities. I am struggling to make new friends and feel very isolated. I know a lot of people and they seem to like me, but making actual friends is hard. Work isn’t a good outlet because I’m the boss and people don’t want to be friends with the boss outside of the odd workday lunch (which I totally understand). I do activities, but those folks seem to come to the activity, then leave right after to their real lives.

      I don’t know how old you are, but I’ve heard from a lot of my friends in their late 20s/early 30s who have moved to a new city that they are having the same issues. It just isn’t as easy as in your early 20s when everyone is just getting into a new phase of life and making new friends.

      I would say that thinking an entire city is lacking character isn’t really going to help your cause. If you look for character flaws, you’ll find them, then you’ll be standoffish. That will make its so that others won’t want to be around you either. Seems like a vicious circle.

      Good luck.

    • I kind of agree with you-it can be difficult to find genuine people in DC, but we are definitely here. Since it seems there are things you like about the city, I’d say to give it a little more of a chance. I’ve been here six years and am looking to move in the next two months or so, so I certainly understand not feeling like DC is the right fit for you, but I have met a ton of great people during my time here. I actually say I’ve made about 10 good friends who I’ll keep in touch with and I’ve made a ton moe acquaintances. I will admit, the friends/acquaintances I’ve made have all been through activities-work, volunteering, kickball, my college alumni group. There are a lot of people in this city I don’t gel with and that’s ultimately a small part of the reason I’m choosing to move, but there are a ton of great, genuine people, too.

    • Blithe

      Sigh. I’m a DC native — and I will TRY not to take your comment about character personally. I will point out, however, that it’s asking a lot of people who you believe are “lacking” in character to open up their established social circles to make room for you. You’ve said that you’re shy — and I’m making the assumption that because of this you MAY be expecting other people to do the work of becoming your friends. I don’t know how old you are, but if you’re a recent graduate, you might be used to the relative ease of making friends in a school setting — where there are lots of people with common interests in close proximity — many of whom will be extroverts seeking friends themselves. If so, then, yeah, making friends in a new city is a lot harder than what you might be used to. Perhaps you should give some thought to what you mean by “character” and what you mean by “friendship” — as well as what you, yourself, are offering in this regard. If you mean people who know you thoroughly, love you anyway, and watch your back — then it probably takes more than a year to move from being an acquaintance to being a proximity friend to something deeper. If what you mean by “friend” is just someone to hang out with, then, as someone wisely suggested in a similar discussion last week, you might want to become a “regular” — at an activity that you enjoy, and realize that you will probably need to initiate more interactions if you’re the one looking for friendship with other people who have already established their social circles. Namaste!

    • I felt the same way you did when I moved here almost three years ago. D.C. is a very different beast than other big cities. Many people in D.C. are transient, and therefore D.C. doesn’t have the same sort of cultural identifiers that cities with large “born and bred” crowds. If you want to see an example, compare D.C. to Baltimore (that statement alone will get me flamed, I’m sure). I’m sure there are many that would disagree with me, but there is a large group of gentrifiers that can’t or won’t identify with D.C.’s history or the culture that is has. So the only fallback some people have is the superficial “what do you do and how can that help me?” I know that’s a sweeping generalization, but perhaps that is part of D.C.’s culture, whether we like it or not.

      It’s also harder to find friends as you get older. People become accustomed to their circle of friends and aren’t as willing to open up to new people. As someone said further down the thread, they aren’t accepting applications for new friends because they have too many.

      I got a ticket out by getting pregnant and moving to the suburbs, but I’d probably be in the same position as you. I agree with others that may you try to branch out to your interests and find people on MeetUp who share those interests.

      In short, I feel your pain!

      • saf

        “Many people in D.C. are transient,”

        That is simply not true – at least, no more true here than in any other large city.

        If you mean many young white people in DC are transient, I can see that, but as a blanket statement, that is simply wrong.

      • “It’s also harder to find friends as you get older. People become accustomed to their circle of friends and aren’t as willing to open up to new people.”

        How is this possible if DC is as transient as you say it is?

        • If they went to college here? Or moved here when they were in their early 20s?

        • What does DC being transient have to do with anything? I think it’s a pretty safe generalization to say that as people get older they stick with the social groups they have and are less willing, able, or interested in opening up to new people.

          • Not if people keep coming and going and you have to make new friends to keep the social circle from shrinking.

          • There’s no law that says you have to keep the social circle from shrinking. People tend to become less socially active as they get older, so they don’t need as large a social group locally.

          • I find the high proportion of transients a slight boon for making friends. People who’ve moved here as adults don’t have the same deep network of family and childhood friends to draw on and tend to be a bit more “available” or open to making new friends because their dance cards aren’t already full.

      • Definitely NOT going to flame you for that DC-Baltimore comparison, Meg! 🙂 Your point about cultural identifiers is spot on. It’s a running joke in Baltimore (and I’ve experienced this personally, as have a number friends) that one of the first questions you’ll get asked when meeting a new person is “Where did you go to high school?” (And not just among college-age or other young folks. I’m in my mid-30s and got asked this question all the time by other people in their 30s and 40s.) Contrast that with cities like New York and DC where a person is likely to look at you like you have two heads if you ask them where they went to high school; the answer wouldn’t mean anything to them. Granted, this can vary a lot based on your social circle, and if either school (why I originally moved to New York) or work (why I moved to DC) have brought you to a certain city, the people you’re likely to meet through those channels are also more likely to be transplants.

    • It sounds like you’re basing your perception of DC based on stereotypes. Closed off? No character? People talk about politics all the time? I hate politics, but I almost never hear people discussing them here. It was definitely more of a thing where I went to college, nowhere near here. DC has a ton of character, but it reveals itself slowly, especially if you are spending a lot of time in the sterile boring places and associating with sterile boring people (sounds like you are).

    • Your perception of DC is based on stereotypes. Closed off? No character? People talk about politics all the time?? I hate politics, but I almost never hear people discussing them here. It was definitely more of a thing where I went to college, in a completely different part of the country. DC has a ton of character, but it reveals itself slowly, especially if you are spending a lot of time in the sterile boring places and associating with sterile boring people (sounds like you are).

    • OnWithTheShow, are you the same person who was complaining a while back about smiling at girls and their not smiling back?

    • All this really screams: When is the next Popville happy hour??

    • sorry. i have to agree with you. i lived in dc for 20 years. at about year 12 lots of good friends left the city. i spent a good 5 years trying to make new friends with not much success. volunteering, clubs, doing the things i liked…its a tough town.

  • Emmaleigh504

    Rant: My chair at work is uncomfortable and breaking, but I’m a contractor (aka less than human) so no one cares.
    Rant: I had a decent chair at my last desk at this place, but we aren’t allowed to take our chairs to new desks when they move us.
    Rant: I cannot think of 1 rave. I think it’s time to move.

    • or “low life contractor scum”

    • I’m a fed, and my chair SUCKS (amplified in suckiness because of how pregnant I am). What makes you think anyone cares about our chairs, either?

      • Emmaleigh504

        At my place the feds get nice chairs. Sorry your place hates you.

        • eh, I think most places dislike feds and contractors the same. My husband was a contractor and is now a fed, same chair…better pay now. That’s the only difference (oh, and he actually earns leave now unlike when he was a contractor). I don’t see any contractor here at the Pentagon using specifically shitty chairs.

          The gov’t put all of its eggs in the “shitty chair basket” with Herman Miller while not realizing they don’t go with the horrible modular furniture they use.

          • epric002

            at FEMA they allocate less cube space to contractors than to feds (who sometimes get offices). b/c contractors are so slimy (what happened to my slimy comment?) that they physically take up less space than feds.

          • Emmaleigh504

            @eproc002 I think it got delete b/c I told you to f off, but I used the full word, b/c unless you are contractor and state that you are one you really need to f off with that slimy contractor BS.

            At my place feds get offices that don’t have storage in them, new furniture that matches, and nice chairs. Contractors get the cubes or offices with storage in them, crappy chairs and whatever furniture they can find. My office has 2 contractors and the supply cabinets. The fed next door has a whole office to himself and no storage. The other office that is not a fed supervisor’s office has 2 contractors and storage. They are all the same size! And we all do the same work! It’s maddening!

            Oh yeah, I”m the contractor supervisor, so I have to find random empty places or go to starbucks to talk to my staff. I really hate my job today. There are things I like about my job (pay-not as much as feds so don’t even start with that, hours, what I actually do), but today it’s hard to remember them.

            (When I b*tch about fed vs contractor I only talk about my place b/c I know it’s different at each agency.)

          • Emmaleigh, you really need to chill the f out.

          • epric002

            wow. i am a contractor. wow.

          • Whoa, I guess this fed vs. contractor stuff really touches a nerve. FWIW, I’m not a mind-reader, but Epric’s “slimy” comment sounded to me like it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Deep breaths, people.

          • I don’t have an office. I have a cubicle. Zero privacy and have turned in to a defacto secretary because I’m basically the only female (oh, come on, it’s a woman’s job to do administrative stuff!)

            I don’t think it’s feds v contractors – here, plenty of contractors have nice chairs and private offices. They just tend to make more money than I do and weren’t furloughed.

            i was a contractor and my cube/chair came with me when my job turned into a federal job at my previous agency. Maybe your agency is special.

          • Emmaleigh504

            epric002 how was I supposed to know you are a contractor? I am not a mind reader, and if you mentioned it on another post, I did not remember. I have been called all sorts of names b/c I am a contractor and people assume I hate feds and make sh!t-tons of money. nope and nope. I just want a descent chair! I don’t even want one of the fancy ones the feds here have, just a chair that isn’t broken!

            jidc, yes, my place is special, unfortunately.

            anonymous, you work at a place that doesnt care if you chair is broke and see how chill you are. If you are chill after months, I want to know you secrets!

          • i empathize with your rant, and you’re allowed to rant about anything and not be judged, but also: why not just bring your own chair in? i was a federal contractor for the last 5 years (since moved to the private sector, where — sorry to say — we get awesomely comfortable chairs) and i brought one of the balance balls in and a nice comfy spinny office chair in. and when i left, i took both with me. since i spend most of my waking hours at work, it was worth it. now i have a comfy chair in my office at home.

          • epric002

            i don’t expect anyone to know that i am a contractor. i was wow-ing at how upset you were at my post. i thought (as anon 2:54 noted) that my comment was clearly tongue in cheek. while i’ve certainly been treated as “less” than a fed many, many times, i’ve never been called a slimy contractor except by other slimy contractors, or self-referentially. i don’t even have my own cube. i share an office with 2 other contractors. no cube walls, no privacy. this is apparently a really sensitive issue for you.

        • …I’ve thought about bringing my own chair in.
          you seem to have a chip on your shoulder about not being a fed.
          you have a job. who cares?
          you think feds make a lot of money? Or have cushy office environments? If so, you need to get out more.

      • When I worked at the USPTO we had HORRIBLE chairs that everyone complained about, which was bad because the nature of the job involved being chained to your desk 10 hours a day. The only way to get a good chair was to bring in your own and provide a note from a medical doctor allowing you to use it.

        • I work for myself, at home, as a writer. I’ve tried at least 15 different chairs over the years – including Herman Miller & all the ergonomics. They all suck. The only good chair is the one that works for you. So figure it out , quit whining and get on with it. I keep going back to my old cheap chair with bits of folded up foam cushioning. The greatest novels, philosophy, science, history and political thought has been written from plain hard chairs.

  • The Nats suck.

  • pablo .raw

    Rave: had a wonderful time in Savannah and Charleston with friends
    Rant: forgot to bring my PoPville t-shirt 🙁
    Rant: train was cold!!! but fortunately..
    Rave: a friend warned me about it in advanced, so we brought blankets.
    Rave: We don’t have those cities kind of weather

    • pablo .raw

      One more rant: 3 of my Boss guitar pedals are not working. I don’t know what is happening, I use Boss power adapters. One of the pedals is really new. 🙁

  • Rave: Great weekend at the beach
    Rant: Too many drinks to count and my anxiety is up today because of it. It’s time for a little break.
    Rant: I got to talk to the guy that lied and said he wasn’t married before. He came clean about that and having a daughter! The whole experience left a bad taste in my mouth. He said it was a long time ago and in his mind it doesn’t really count. He also said that he didn’t lie about it and then corrected himself and admitted that he did. We’re done.
    Rave: On to the next one 🙂

    • Um… His daughter “doesn’t count”?

    • Wow. Just wow.

    • Holy cow – his marriage was awhile ago so it doesn’t count? He needs to come with a warning label.

    • I didn’t say I was never married before, I just said I wasn’t happily married.

    • Geez people. Everyone is allowed one practice marriage.

      • Practice marriage with a practice kid – I can see why this guy wouldn’t have counted this as “real” marriage

        • Even if he’s distanced himself from marriage #1, the kid is still going to be part of his life in some way. And by extension, part of the OP’s if she were to get involved with him. That’s something he should have disclosed from the start.

    • Yikes! You’re well rid of him, Andie.

    • Yeah, the lying would be a dealbreaker for me. I don’t care if someone doesn’t want to go into the gory details about their past marriage(s)/divorce(s) early in the dating process…just at least be truthful about having been married and leave it at that. (and if necessary the person can add that it was a difficult period in their life and they prefer to talk about it some other time). Good luck with the next one!

  • Rant: 94 year old grandfather not feeling well so I didn’t get to spend the weekend with him.

    Rave: It’s just a little cold and he’s taking good care of himself.

    Rave: T-6 days until I move to London!

    Rant: So much to do before then…

  • GiantSquid

    Rave: Beach with family this weekend. My 1yr old nephew was a hoot and loved being in the water.
    Rant: Frustrated with parents. Don’t agree/understand some of their choices but have to let them live their lives.
    Rave: Back surgery recovery going well. At about 80%. Going to attempt to drive in to work tomorrow.
    Rant: Wish I still had a job in the District so I wouldn’t have to drive.

  • Rave: We’ve been living in Alexandria for 2 months now (moved from 6 yrs in NW DC!). I’ve been waiting for the horrible 395 traffic that I hear so much about – thought it might even start today now that school is back, congress is coming back, and the holiday weekend is over. But I made it to downtown DC in 20 mins, with not even a slowdown. I’m beginning to think that this whole “traffic thing” is just propaganda that the Virginians throw out to us DC-ers to dissuade us from moving to the burbs, thus keeping thier roads clear! I was terrified of the commute before moving. Now not so much.
    Rant: Now that I’ve stopped waiting for the other shoe to drop, it probably will 🙁

    • Hate to disappoint, but Congress won’t be back until next week. I will say furloughs have made things a little lighter. Also, the 395 crowd seems to be a later crowd. I get to work by 745, leave at 6pm and don’t have huge problems with my commute.

      • I usually leave between 8:30 and 8:45 and get to work without any headaches.

        • My VA coworkers leave home at 5:30 and get in by 6 or 6:30. Since they get in early they’re able to put in a full day and leave before 3. They usually don’t have problems with traffic although they also start monitoring the traffic maps after lunch to make sure nothing problematic is happening.

    • I lived in Alexandria for 3 years. Average commute time to DC was 1.5 hours. Once when it was snowing it took 8 hours to get home. Good luck.

    • I drove to Springfield from DC for about two years, and there was stop and go traffic 90% of the time going north on 395 at 8:30am

      • Yep, I’d say that’s about right.

        • Also, I used to take 495 east to 295 to get to DC. Less direct, but the traffic was usually a lot better than 395.

      • It’s 90% stop and go during the hours that HOV isn’t open to everyone. I think that’s from 6:30-9:30 am, although I’ve blocked that part of my life from my memory so I can’t recall for sure. 🙂 Best bet is to travel on 395 outside of those hours if at all possible, or carpool with two other people so you can use HOV (slug lines are good for this).

    • You obviously got lucky today (and must have been speeding to get there in 20 minutes). Or you’re like my VA co-workers who don’t have an issue with traffic because they get in at 6am to avoid it. This “traffic thing” is a real concern and it takes a terrible toll on your health and your life. I commuted from Landmark for a few years, and I don’t think anything– not the bigger house, nor the yard, nor the savings in rent, or even the convenience to cheap Asian grocery stores– was worth sitting in gridlocked traffic for 3 hours a day. Nothing.

      • But a good school district might be worth it. Of course, your kids will never see you, but at least you can say they went to one of the best public schools in the country!

  • Random: Guys from Europe are absolutely insane. Went up to my roof deck found these 3 guys 12 beers deep before noon on saturday, proceeded to drink with them most of the day. They are also very open sexually…aka licking each others faces (and they were supposedly straight)


    So i went out to a friends party who went to high school with. I ended up meeting these two girls that were really coool. I am usually not one to venture outside of my friend circle at parties but one of the girls gave me a few looks which i took as a signal that it might be worth a shot to chat and see what happends. We ended up talking for about 30 minutes and then me (guy) and the two girls and one other went to the bar. Then we ended up leaving the third girl behind and went to another bar in the U street area (this is at about 3am). We ended up having a really good time, low key but still a lot of fun. Anyways they invited me to a party that they were going to have the next nigth (sunday). I got one of the girls numbers, not the one that was giving me the looks and i texted her asking about details for the party. Granted she texted me after i had left and told me their address and would give me info about the party. Anyways apparently the party was canceled or they ended up doing somehting else so we did not meet.

    My question is – so i want to ask the girl out whos phone number i did not get, would it be better (from a girls perspective) to either friend her on facebook and ask her there OR ask her roomate for her number and be up front that i want to ask her out. I think we had a good vibe so i dont think it would be weird either way. But any advice is appariciated.

    • pleeease i need advice 🙂

      • Stalk her on Facebook. If she was giving you looks but then the other girl gave you her number, the looks girl may have a boyfriend, and the number-giving girl may be interested in you. If you ask number-giving girl for her friend’s number, you’re eliminating your chances with her without knowing if the other girl is even available.

    • Get the number from her friend and then call her and ask her out

    • There is no right answer. Pick whichever approach you think will work. But remember they barely even know you so don’t be surprised if they both have a cool response – the fact that the party they invited you to was suddenly “canceled” might be a sign that they’re not quite interested.

      • This is true, but there were many guys at the party who they could have asked to come to the bar and they said at the end of the night that after going out with me that i was ‘even more invited’ to the party. There were also multiple guys hitting on them at the bar and they just kind of waved them off and kept talking to me and wanted to go to a new bar…. So i dont think they would have made up that the party was canceled…but then again who knows

        I want a girls perspective though! more advice pleaseeee! 🙂 thanks popville

        • People changed their minds sometimes you know. You were at a party and then went to a bar, so I’m guessing they were drinking? Things can look differently once you sober up. I’m not trying to be a downer but just don’t assume that either is interested based on one night of hanging out (and a second one that they canceled).

          • Yep, I couldn’t agree more. If one of them was interested in you they would have offered an alternative (assuming the party was actually cancelled). They’re just not that into you. Move on.

        • Did the woman who gave you her number seem interested in you, or was she giving you her info so you could contact her re party?
          Important distinction!

      • My guess is the one that gave you “looks” was doing so to exert power over the situation as you cavorted with the “other one”. My prediction: you gonna end up with nuthin, but it was a good story and sounds like much more fun than I ever have.

    • Emmaleigh504

      Ask the friend for the #. Maybe because I”m old, I find the Facebook route creepy.

      • I agree with Emmaleigh – no games, no FB stalking. Contact the person who gave you her number & ask for the number of her friend. You’ll get the number or you won’t. Mystery solved.

    • I say go the FB route. Show some direct interest, since right now it might not be clear which roommate you’re interested in.

      • Yep. Go the FB route. That way if the roommate is into you (the one whose number you have and aren’t interested in), she won’t get in the way somehow.

    • Not sure how much you share on Facebook, but it seems to be the downside of the friending/stalking route is that now someone who you barely know is rummaging through your personal life at will including, possibly, your thoughts on her, thoughts on someone else you may be seeing or have recently seen, the weird stuff you posted about an ex while drunk and depressed and so on. And if you break up — the stalker becomes the stalked.
      Call the phone number woman and ask her for a date. Dating a woman’s close/friend or roommate immediately makes you more desirable in her eyes and gives you a chance to get to know her better while still getting laid. If you decide you like her, then you can ditch the friend and start seeing the one you were originally interested in. Sure, it’s sleazy and leads to tears and recriminations all around, but it works with alarming regularity, even when nobody really expected it to happen.

      • gives you a chance to get to know her better while still getting laid.

        • And now we know how some circles of friends have way too much drama…

          • Yeah, I’ve unfortunately seen a couple of different guys successfully pull this off in various friend circles. It’s always baffling to me that seemingly cool and confident women get involved with a guy who’s treated their friend badly thinking they will somehow be different.

      • Dating one woman as a way to date her friend? Dating phone number woman to get laid while seeing if you like the woman other better?

        Sleazy doesn’t begin to describe this behavior.

      • More likely you will lose your chance with the non-phone number woman because she won’t date you after you date the phone number woman. Especially if you treat the phone number woman badly.

      • Ugh, really? I cannot see how this could have a good outcome.

        And besides, who wants sloppy seconds?

      • Emmaleigh504

        omg What happened to the cool/nice Irving Streete? Or have you always been sleazy?

        • I think you have been misreading/ misinterpreting his past posts.

        • Yeah, I don’t know if his posts truly reflect his real-life personality (or if they’re tongue-in-cheek) but if you haven’t noticed a bit of sleazy in there then you haven’t been reading them right.

      • Call the phone number you have, say how much fun you had with both girls then ask both girls to a specific non-date event – happy hour, drum circle, drinks on your stoop etc. Bring a wingman if you can – or even a couple of friends. Then it’s up to you to work your magic on desired (non-phone-number) girl. Don’t lead anyone one – a good friend will be pissed off at a guy who screws around with her friend.

    • any additional thoughts? Especially from the ladies would be helpful!

      • I was having trouble following who was who in the summary of what happened. Is the girl who gave you her number roommates with the girl whose number you actually wanted?
        If so, do NOT go through the roommate to get to the girl; use Facebook instead.

        • yes thats the current situation. Thanks for the input 🙂

        • Totally. I would not involve the roommate at all. That will just get messy- especially if the roommate is the one interested. I would be pretty peeved if I was interested in someone and they contacted me so they could ask my roommate out! It could end up causing undue tension between them and you’d wind up with nothing, so basically facebook stalking is your best option 🙂

          • You might be peeved for a little while, but really, you’re a mature person who realizes that not everyone is for everyone and you cannot wrest affection at will. No way should this be “undue tension.” Yes – momentary awkward sadness – oops, he didn’t pick me – but then you move on and be glad for your friend’s happiness at making a connection.

          • Disagreed with Anonymous 6:17 pm. It’s just bad etiquette for this guy to go through the roommate — who seemed to be interested in him — to get to her friend. Especially when he has the option of going through Facebook to reach the friend directly.

      • Yeah I have a thought. Don’t listen to Irving Streete.

        • I agree – really bad advice from (I’m guessing) a male

        • +1 (though I think Irving Streete was joking).

          Yep, if the roommate gave you her number, it’s a slap in the face to ask her for the other girl’s number: “Oh hai! I see you like me, but I actually prefer your roommate. Can you give me her number, plz?”

          • All three of you are correct: A Lady generally and Another Lady and textdoc specifically regarding this dilemma.

    • Ask her friend. I think it’s too soon to be Facebook buddies. (This is a girl’s perspective.)

      • Last week a (married) woman sent me a friend request after having a 2-3 minute conversation with her and her husband. It was weird. I accepted since,well, I don’t really care, and 30 minutes later her husband sent me a friend request.Then I realized why I should have ignored her request…. Just hope the dude didn’t think I sent her the request…

        Anyway, if he really had a good time with the two ladies and spent a few hours with them, I don’t think it’s too early. And really easy for her to just ignore it (which obviously would make it crystal clear to him she’s not interested)

      • Yes, I’m old. I’m only friends with friends on FB. Some are friends I haven’t seen in ages (from high school) but I still consider them friends.
        I don’t send (or accept ) friend requests from people I just met.

    • Friend both women on Facebook. As a single woman, I wouldn’t find it weird for a guy I spent an extended evening with and gave my phone number to (or my friend gave her phone number to) to friend me on Facebook.

      In the next week or so, invite them both to a group event through Facebook. If the girl you’re interested in comes to the event, that’s your chance to follow up and ask her out. If she’s interested in you but can’t make it, she’ll send you a reply that implies she wants to hang out another time. If she doesn’t respond or makes weird excuses, just let it go.

      And DO NOT date her friend to get to her. That’s super mean to the friend, and I would never go out with a guy who had just been on a date with one of my friends.

      • I think your advice is the one i will take 🙂 thanks! I will keep you all posted on how this all plays out (if it is worth it)

  • Rant: Forgot to bring my lunch today. And it was a good one! I made pulled chicken for dinner yesterday and it was the real deal. The chicken slow cooked in my smoker for a couple of hours before I took it off, removed the meat and skin and chopped it up. Today’s lunch was gonna be a pulled chicken sandwich, with homemade chipotle barbecue sauce.

    Rave: That gives me an excuse to try one of the trucks I haven’t tried yet.

    Rant: I’m hungry NOW!

    • Lucky! If I forget my lunch I’m at the mercy of whatever’s in the vending machine. I haven’t forgotten my lunch in 6 years. 😉

  • Rant: I need a new job ASAP!
    Rant: Been fighting with my roommate (good friend) because she picked a fight with me and I took the low road.
    Rave: I’m on vacation all this week!
    Rave: My bday is on Thursday.
    Rave: PoP picked my picture for this post!

  • epric002

    rave: went on my 2nd run this weekend with the husband and dogs. for some reason running is only tolerable with dogs.
    rave: had a great long weekend.
    rave: short work week.
    rave: no rants. happy tuesday popville 🙂

  • Rant: After receiving such good news for myself recently, I’m now heartbroken for my friend who lost her husband very suddenly last week. They were only married at the beginning of August and were married for 27 days before he passed away.

    It’s sad that it takes something like this to make me sit back and fully appreciate my husband and our life together.

  • Dear POP, I suggest you delete the 2nd post that is written in arabic script.
    It’s an exploit to make Macs crash. I had to post this from my VM using Internet Explorer since this page was making my browser crash.


  • Hilarious. Trying to crash a site to give yourself jollies must be so fulfilling for you.

    • Sorry, that was in response to that comment with the Arabic script, written to make the site crash. It’s gone now.

  • Blithe

    Rave: An absolutely gorgeous weekend! I got to swim a lot — which is my favorite way of celebrating summer. And I got to hang out with good friends. So I got to spend the long weekend doing exactly what I wanted to do. Yay!
    Rave: I’m loving my new-ish amp. My guitar journey has been amazingly wonderful. I’m glad that I’ve stuck with it. Commitment CAN be worth the effort! 🙂
    Rant: I’m bummed that yesterday might have been my last swim of the season. It seems like August only lasted about a day and a half. I am SO not ready for Fall, and don’t want to even think about winter!

  • Rave: Great weekend finally setting things up in the new place in SW. Everything is finally unpacked, put away, and set up. I am so glad for the Craigslist “free” section. Had great people take away lots of unnecessary stuff yesterday and made so much space!
    Rave: Design. Kind of obsessed with making our home fun and unique – so many great ideas off of Pinterest yesterday, especially for a concrete balcony.
    Rave: Mr.S’s mom is in town this week and I’m actually excited. Fun plans across the board for the week.
    Rave: Work drama got sewed up this morning and I’m relieved and super excited for the future of my department.
    No rants, that is a first!

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