Random Reader Rant and/or Revel

Photo by PoPville flickr user brunofish

You can talk about whatever is on your mind – quality of life issues, a beautiful tree you spotted, scuttlebutt, or any random questions/thoughts you may have. But please no personal attacks and no need to correct people’s grammar. This is a place to vent and/or celebrate things about daily life in DC.

159 Comment

  • rave: bojangles breakfast.

    • Once you go Boberry, you never go back.

      • The sad thing is that many here do not know the joy that is the “Cheddar Bo Biscuit”! From my experience, it is only found in Eastern NC (east of I-95). When I was in college in Raleigh, they did not even have it there. It is basically a Bojangles biscuit, filled with melted cheddar cheese – some of the cheese gets burnt and crispy on the outside…yummmmmm. I wish they would make it a restaurant wide offering so I would not have to wait to go home to get one – on the other hand, I have lost weight since moving here…

        • Bojangle’s exists west of I-95 too — I think there are (or at least were) some in Chapel Hill and/or Durham. How puzzling that Raleigh didn’t have any!

          • I was saying that the Cheddar Bo is only offered east of I-95. I know the Bojangles on Western Blvd in Raleigh all too well…

          • Ahh — OK. Now I am sad to know I’m not likely to encounter this fabled biscuit any time soon. 🙁

        • fellow wolfpacker here. THE CHEDDAR BO!! I got one off of hwy 64 near nashville, nc once. delicious.

  • Rant: I am so depressed by, and sick of, my job (where I’ve been way too long–I feel like I wasted all of my 20s on something I don’t even care about when I should have been trying out a variety of fields, “finding myself”, etc.) that I’m having trouble motivating myself to get my sh*t together to find something else or at least move up at my company. These days I just sit at work and procrastinate, which certainly isn’t doing me any favors. Anyone have advice for getting out of a very embarrassing rut?

    Revel: Zero plans for the three day weekend, and I could not be happier. Fall cleaning!

    • Not to prod too much, but how old are you? If you up for a bit of adventure and a period of time that will allow you to “get your shit together” teaching abroad can be a nice way to do it. I did it a few years ago after dropping out of my phd program and calling off my wedding, I was like suicidal (not really, but was way blue), and this got me out of my comfort zone and made me take stock of a lot of things without the traditional distractions of family, friends, job I hated. I know its not for everyone, but some time on your own, meeting new people, can be an excellent way to gain perspective. Also, it was a great way for me to go to interviews when I came back to the states. I had a story and I think employers found that interesting. Good luck! The ruts come and go!

      • Ha, I actually literally did do exactly this right out of college (I’m in my late 20s now). And it was indeed life-changing, and employers did indeed respect it.

        It’s just keeping that positive momentum going, years later, that’s hard. I probably could use a change of scenery, though. Maybe I will move.

        • 2 platitudes I live by:

          The grass is always greener.

          Wherever you go, there you are.

          • MsNesbitt

            “Wherever you go, there you are.”
            This is so, so true. But, as someone who left DC because I felt like a change of scenery might do the trick, let me just say that sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side. While moving itself didn’t fix any of my problems, it provided me with the space to deal with them without the noise of places/things/people tied to bad memories. Moving for me just jump-started my energy to actually fix the problems that were wrong. I also moved closer to family, which helped me more than I ever realized it would.

        • I don’t recommend moving unless you feel pretty certain that the rut you’re in is place-specific (like if you were living in New York City, couldn’t afford to live without roommates, and hated living with roommates). If it’s a more general angst/malaise, it’s likely to follow you to a new city.
          Being in a job that’s depressing you can make it hard… but if you’re going to be procrastinating at work anyway, maybe you can spend some of that time polishing your resume, searching for job listings, etc.? Or is it that you’re not sure what field you want to be in, and that’s part of the problem?

        • Is it possible to move up or to a different department in your company? I was also embarrassed to be in a position for 4 years with no promotions and still being treated like a kid with awful, repetitive work, and totally immature coworkers. I got a promotion to another department where I knew I would be treated better. It turns out I now have a lot of autonomy and while I don’t love the job and still sometimes my heart races and I brace for the worst when I open some email responses, I do like it more. I also really like the part where I got a two grade promotion, get better reviews, and make about 30% more less than 2 years after taking this job. I try not to be vengeful, but it’s true, sometimes success is the best revenge.

    • Are you me?? I feel the same way. Honestly, I was so relieved to finally get a job out of college that I didn’t feel like leaving it. Especially since the job is easy, and pays well, and paid for my master’s degree, and is walking distance from my house. But I’m not interested in the field at all and don’t want to be doing this the rest of my life. I should have taken more risks earlier in my career so I didn’t waste years gaining knowledge that can’t be applied to a different field.
      Last year I started to get my shit together. Figured out what I’m actually interested in, and what soft skills can be transferred to that field. I started doing volunteer work related to that field, and through that opportunity have met people with the type of jobs I’m seeking. One of them referred for an opening in her company that is exactly what I’m looking for (interview is next week!!). In the meantime I’m reading everything I can to get up to speed on the field. Since it’s something I’m naturally interested in this part has been easy. And the person who referred me assured me that the job has a good work-life balance (something I’ve been afraid I might have to give up with a new job).

      It’s taken some time but I think I’m getting out of this rut. Hope this is helpful to you!

      • I’m not the OP, but this is helpful to me! I spent a couple of years after college searching for just about any (non-retail) job and eventually found one pretty quickly after moving to DC. Flash forward 6 years and now I’m 30 and doing something I really dislike (I know very few people love their jobs, but I seriously dread coming in every single day). And I just feel so stuck, like it’s too late for me to switch fields and now this will be my life for the next 35 years until I retire. So, your story has at least given me a little bit of the push I’ve been needing.

        • Focus on making the most money possible for your work and having good home/family relationships, it doesn’t solve the work problems, but having money in the bank prepares you for whenever you’re ready to switch jobs, and it also allows you to have a little more fun when you’re outside of work, which is what makes the tedium more bearable.

          All work is pretty much boring, they wouldn’t pay you for it if it was supposed to be enjoyable. some people make a lot of money for doing what they love, but in reality, that’s just as likely as winning the lottery in a world of 6.8 billion people.

          • Jesus, that is some depressing ass advice.

          • I do make a pretty good amount of money. That’s a big part of what it’s been so difficult for me to get the motivation to switch fields. I also have great relationships with my family (though they live in a different part of the country) and with friends.

            And, I obviously get that most work is boring and that very few people love their jobs (which is why I specifically stated that). But, I highly doubt that most people are as miserable at work as I am. It’s contributing to pretty severe depression and seriously effecting my life.

            Thanks for being condescening and completely unhelpful, though.

          • @KMB

            I wasn’t trying to be condescending at all, it’s mainly that we have to tell ourselves we’re “special” to make it as far as we can in this world, but the brutal truth is that we’re not so special to everyone else struggling in this world.

            Whenever examining your place in the world, consider the amount of suffering everyone else in the world has to go through that you don’t. That’s the only indication of how well we’re doing in life – The place you have earned that puts you ahead of your past.

            Work towards a vacation, work towards retirement, work towards next weekend, this is the only way to make it through life these days because there are no handouts. Part of success is outliving your competition, and not letting yourself feel stagnant. We’re all struggling, we’re all bored, work is hard, this is life, as we all already know, what keeps us from getting caught in a rut is the positive things we do with the outcome of negative experiences. Even though I type this, i have to remind myself of it constantly, I’m definitely not perfect myself.

            What makes us special is our exit/retirement strategy, our dedication and perseverance, our family lives, our integrity, and our ingenuity in succeeding outside and beyond the normal boundaries. It’s not a bad thing depending on how you look at it.

          • Well, apparently you have the ability to be condescending without even trying, then, because your second comment is just as bad, if not worse. I don’t go through every day telling myself I’m “special” or deserve anything more than anyone else. I don’t think it’s that odd to want a job that I can go to without being miserable and crying nearly every single day. And I also don’t think it’s useful to say that I should live like this because there are people in the third world who are going through greater suffering than I am. that kind of thinking is so ridiculous and unhelpful.

          • Perhaps you were just posting rhetorically, and you didn’t want to discuss the matter, in that case, you’re totally free to do so and I apologize for getting involved.

          • Is this Jack5?

            No, I wasn’t posting rhetorically. And I did discuss it with several others. My point is that you seem to think that I believe I’ll find some all-fulfilling job when I haven’t indicated anywhere that that is the case. You are making huge assumptions about tme (that I don’t have strong family connections, that I don’t make a lot of money, that I don’t think about the suffering of others) that simply aren’t true.

            Or maybe we just see the world differently, but I do believe it’s possible to have a job that doesn’t make you cry 4 days a week and wish that you could get sick so you don’t have to go to work.

          • I don’t know anything about you beyond your post here, how in any way could I possibly judge you?

            I’ve had gut wrenching jobs, even my current one was pretty demoralizing, but things get better. The money I make is directly tied to the amount of drama I’m willing to put up with, and making it through that means that I have climbed a ladder of experience. I have over 15 years of experience in IT. I hate hearing “look-on-the-bright-side” stories and “me-too” stories, but looking at reality is what helps me get through tough times.

            All I was saying is that suffering is temporary and that you can work on your happiness in other areas to compensate, but somehow you though that was condescending, so it’s probably better to let you handle things without my commentary.

            I’m done with the wind-up though… I’ve got a lot more concerns than trying to convince you to be happy for what you’ve got.

          • Well, thanks for trying to help, but then ending with yet another rude remark.

          • I didn’t actually find this or any of Jack5’s comments below condescending or depressing, but pretty sensible and honest. Sounds like KMB is having a prickly day. “I highly doubt that most people are as miserable at work as I am. It’s contributing to pretty severe depression and seriously effecting my life.”

        • I actually don’t dread my job, and for years I told myself I should just be happy I have a non-demanding job that I don’t hate that doesn’t involve a debilitating commute. But once I turned 30 I started wondering if it is possible to have it all, and I think it can be. The good thing about already being employed is that there’s no pressure to find a job right away, so you can take the time to figure it out and lay the groundwork before taking that leap.

          • Yes, I do like that I have a stable job and I really like my co-workers/the place I work (I just hate what I do). That does take a lot of the pressure off!

    • I agree with Anon 10:19 – a rut seems never-ending when you’re in it, but it WILL end. You just need to keep trying different things. And teaching abroad is a great opportunity to get out of your comfort zone. I got a Cambridge TEFLA certificate – I think it was a month-long course – and that will get you a job anywhere.

      • Yeah, teaching abroad did really change me, and I came back to the US ready to take on the world. That is sort of the embarrassing part. Where did that motivation go? What if I just can’t freaking change for good, no matter how many adventures I go on? Ugh.

        • The pursuit of life satisfaction is a never-ending process. You are always changing, so your feelings about your job/life change too. However, if you feel miserable, and it is turning you into a person you don’t like, then it’s time for a big change. I went through the same thing just before I turned 30 – had a job that conferred prestige, paid well, and I liked my co-workers, but I just didn’t like myself anymore. My way out – I went to grad school in another state. It took a couple of years of planning, but I felt great after taking charge and making that change. Subsequent ruts were easier to bear.

    • totally share this feeling. my question to myself and friends lately is – how much am i supposed to like my job? i feel like i’ve been trying so hard for years to find the right fit, the right place, but i’m just as bored and unhappy at every job. so maybe it’s not the jobs, it’s me. maybe it’s just that work is rarely the passion-driven excitement that people tell you about in grade school assemblies and graduation speeches. maybe work is just work. and my work is fine. and i just need to adjust my expectations.

    • At the risk of sounding like everybody’s annoying parents (like mine), my rut ceased to bother me as much when I became a parent. I didn’t will it to happen and my reality didn’t change, but I just felt better about life in general. And other than a couple of crisis moments, it’s lasted for now over 10 years. And believe me when I tell you, the career catastrophe that precipitated my past intolerable, but now mostly bearable rut was a true epic failure by anyone’s measure.

      • I wish that was an option for me. I’d love to have kids and I truly believe they’d make my life better. (I know that’s not the case for everyone, but I think it would be for me.) Unfortunately, I’m currently single and, while I have nothing but respect for single parents, ideally, I’d like to raise any future children with a committed partner. Sigh.

        • I feel the same way and am bummed out by what I see is the commitment phobia that pervades my peer group (early 30’s in DC, prefer not to reveal gender – care to guess??) – the “something better might come along” mindset. I actually think it’s based in fear that someone will find out, like everyone, how typical/ boring they are and they are afraid to face that in themselves. But there is nothing typical/ boring about real intimacy (often to be confused with sex) and if it’s right, commitment. It makes me sad.

      • Haha, don’t tell me this. Sometimes I’m like, maybe I should just have a kid–that would probably, like, be a source of motivation and give me something live for.

        (That would be a poor life choice right now, lol. Maybe instead I will get a cat.)

        • Yeah, this is bad advice to be giving unless it’s to someone who is already expecting a kid. Even if you end up having kids for reasons besides job disatisfaction, it’s harder to take risks once you have them which further cements you into the dissatisfying job.

          • I wasn’t suggesting having a child as a cure for job satisfaction or a rut, but that sometimes other aspects of life can change that make what seemed unbearable a bit more tolerable.

    • I love my job. I don’t love the day-to-day minutiae, but in terms of big-picture, I believe in my role and find great satisfaction in what I do. This is the result of being in a rut a few years ago, and figuring out what it was I could be passionate about (realized that was more important to me than making a ton of money, although I do want and have a comfortable salary). And then I took the steps to do it, which involved moving and going back to school to get my phd.

      But I also get in daily ruts, when I spend too much time on here or otherwise looking for the end of the internet. And then I feel badly for procrastinating or wasting a day. So it’s a real exercise in self-discipline to realize that I actually derive more joy from being productive on a daily basis than I do from reading all the funny buzzfeed stories. It’s about looking long-term and not giving in to my short-term impulses. Growing up sucks.

    • I don’t mean for this to sound hokey, but have you thought of talking with a coach? Either a career coach, or if you feel your rut extends to things beyond your job, a life coach? I realize it’s not everyone’s thing, nor is it in everyone’s budget. But coaching can sometimes give us the perspective and clarity we don’t always have when we’re stuck in a rut. Similar to a therapist, but in general coaching is not meant to address mental health issues and it’s intended to be motivational and goal/action-oriented. (Not that therapy is never action-oriented–some types are–but just that therapy and coaching do slightly different things. Not to mention coaches, unless they also happen to be therapists, and some are, are not trained to deal with mental illness.) Coaching is more about helping you figure out what your goals are, and then helping to keep you motivated and accountable for achieving them.

      • I’ve got a shrink. She’s not bad. She’s basically like career-focused mom I never had, and thus can give me actual career advice.

  • Rant: Four meetings were scheduled for today! I don’t understand a boss who always has meetings but never gets things done for his team.

    Rave: One was cancelled and I only have to to attend today. Also, two Blues festivals coming up this weekend.

  • The good: house renovation beginning in a month.
    The bad: finding a place to store our cat for two months. Anybody have recommendations for cat boarding? For a very mean and unfriendly cat?

  • Rave: I look really pretty in my dress today. Sometimes it’s the little things that get you through the day.

    Rant: It may be time to buy a new computer. My Dell (I know, ugh) says it needs a new battery, and I’m sick of its nonsense anyway, so I’m going to start comparison shopping. Any advice? All I need it for is occasional web browsing and word processing/typing.

    • College football starts tonight! And Saturday night the Hokies take down the mighty Tide!

    • Get a Mac.

    • Sounds like all you need is a tablet with a keyboard attachment.

      • Huh. I’d never thought of that, but I’ll totally look into it. Thanks!

        • If you’re thinking of going that route, definitely see if you can try out the tablet/keyboard combination. I don’t know how many long e-mails or how much word processing you do, but to me it gets tiresome on my tablet. I have a keyboard attachment, but the keys are so small that typing anything of any length is annoying. It is great for going to conferences and taking notes, though. Anyway, just my two cents. At home I have a tablet and a Mac mini that I use for more involved processes.

  • binpetworth

    Rave: Nats win!
    Rant: Got soaking wet at the game last night, and rain exacerbates my (mold?) allergies, so am hacking and sneezing a ton this morning
    Rant: Have been on allergy meds (and two courses of antibiotics for resulting infections) pretty much for a straight year now; anybody got recommendations for a more naturopathic approach?
    Rave: Four-day weekend to recuperate

    • Have you tried allergy shots? It’s kind of a pain since you’ve got to go in once a week at the beginning of the regimen and it can take a couple years to go through it, but it completely changed my life. I’m off the charts allergic to dust, which is one of those (like mold) that you can’t go through life avoiding, so I was always sick as a dog before the shots. My allergist has since retired or I’d give you his info.

      • Dr. Daniel Ein. Google him. He’s wonderful, and I believe saved my life from the seasonal allergies of DC. Yes, I had/have to get the allergy shots, but I was beyond miserable before that – he said it’d been many years since he’d seen someone so tired from the allergies…

    • I’ve never tried this approach, as it sounded pretty intense, but I recently saw a show about Ayurvedic-influenced treatments for allergies. Don’t know if there are any videos online, but it’s this guy Yogi Cameron (Cameran?) and he has a show on the Veria network (natural/new age-y stuff, it’s not in my cable package, but I caught it at my mom’s place); one episode, he worked with a woman who had severe seasonal allergies and no luck with medications. She did some Ayurvedic treatments, and he also told her to get more sleep, and quit alcohol and coffee. (That’s where he lost me…I could *maybe* give up alcohol, but the coffee would be a dealbreaker!) Anyway, it was a TV show, so probably best taken with a grain of salt, but the “treatments” supposedly worked wonders.

  • Looking forward to some sailing, boating, fishing and swimming. Maybe some crabs, sweet corn and fresh peaches with vanilla ice cream. Labor Day weekend yay!

  • My friend has been waiting for six days and counting for Macys to deliver furniture. It her two visits to the store, countless phone calls, they finally put the stuff on the truck then called her yesterday to say the truck broke down. Of course they don’t have another truck, so she will have to wait even longer. Am I missing something.

  • Rave: I have discovered affogato with homemade ice cream and it is delicious. I knew there was a reason I bought all of those decaf Nespresso capsules.
    Rant: this is not helping my weight loss goals. Luckily I don’t have much ice cream left.
    Rave: I LOVE Wednesday night 7-8 spin at Peloton. It is such a butt kicker, and I have totally improved in only 4 weeks. I killed the three 1 minute elbow planks with 30 seconds rest and kept pace with the rest of the core work. I felt so good after.

    • yes, I too discovered this early in my homemade ice cream making days – coffee chip ice cream with a nespresso shot. I didn’t calculate the WW points value of it. It was terrible but MAN soooooo delicious.

      • Oooh, coffee chip sounds like a great idea. I’ve been using cookies and cream.

        Espresso only has like 6 calories, so I try to go easy on the ice cream side of things to not rack up a ton of calories.

  • mtpgal

    Rant: Sweet jesus, the bureaucracy and one-upmanship of my job. How people can be both bureaucratic and trying to prove that everyone else is a moron in comparison to their Towering Genius I’ll never know. I realize this town attracts all the valedictorians whose mothers told them they were god’s gift, but people, you must chill.

  • pablo .raw

    Rave: Taking the train tonight for a photo vacation!
    Rant: I was hoping to have a nice weather, sunset background for the sports team photo I was doing yesterday and instead, I had to do it in complete darkness and under the rain. I wish I could have rescheduled but the deadline is tomorrow!
    Rave: the team was very patient and I’m proud to say I had the knowledge and experience to do the photo 😀

  • Marion Barry’s tweets about the illegal dirt bike riding. A clear example of why sane, law-abiding citizens can not fathom why ward 8 continues to elect such an idiot.

    • +100000 I was saying the same thing. Who are “our kids”?

    • Kids are just that — kids. They don’t understand the dire consequences of their behavior. The kids that ride dirt bikes thorough the city should not have to pay dearly for doing so with injuries or jail sentences simply for riding dirt bikes in DC. Kids ride dirt bikes all the time in the country, it’s ludicrous to suggest that it should be outlawed just because this is a city. Although Barry is plagued by corruption and bad reputation, he manages to stay somewhat relevant because of the better parts of his reasoning and law making. Just because I don’t particularly respect his reputation doesn’t mean that I automatically invalidate/ignore his opinions.

      While, of course, it’s annoying and alarming to me to hear the bikes and see kids riding down city streets the wrong way without helmets, I’m pretty sure that if I was a kid right now (albeit not too bright) I’d think it would be a cool thing as well because kids don’t think of inherent danger. This is not something to punish them for, it’s about educating them about the danger with flyers, in schools, and by speaking with their parents to follow up on the job. Putting these kids in jail just stokes the fire of distrust for government and steers them towards being career criminals.

      • Re. “Kids ride dirt bikes all the time in the country, it’s ludicrous to suggest that it should be outlawed just because this is a city. ” — dirt bikes are already outlawed in D.C.
        Dunno if this is a regulatory thing or an actual statute… but if the latter, that would mean that it was formulated and voted upon by the D.C. Council, the very same body that Marion Barry is part of.

      • The men in interviewed in the WaPo article were in their late 20s. 40 may be the new 30, but they’re adults, not “kids.”

      • There are dozens of examples of things you can do in the country but are regulated in the city. Such as: fires.

      • +1 @Jack5

      • Worst logic ever. These aren’t bicylces, these are essentially motorcycles when they are ridden on the streets. As such, all of the rules of the road should apply.

      • : ) The reason Marion Barry does get re-elected is because he DOES say things like this. The people that vote for him and support him want to continue to live in the way they have chosen to live, and he is the only person around that will fight to let them.

        Kids shoot guns all the time in the country, why can’t we let them go out in their back yard and shoot here in DC??

        Kids let their dogs run free and poop anywhere they like in the country, would not even think about picking it up, why can’t we do that in the city?

        People whose minds think that way (and I have come to see there are many in DC) are not a good match for a higher level society. When one’s mindset is me,mine,more-me, you are best wandering in the wilderness. To live in a higher level society one must consider one’s own actions and the effect they have on others. One must work to be a better member of society by improving themselves daily and working to help others in need. Only then can one achieve a higher level of being. Caring for other human beings as much as caring for oneself is the map to a higher level of society.

        • Agreed. There seem to be many people in D.C. who’ve opted out of the social contract. Perhaps they felt like no one was looking out for them, so dammit, they’re going to do whatever they want, and if other people don’t like it, they can go to hell. And unfortunately it’s a self-reinforcing thing — when people who *are* looking out for other people see this kind of antisocial behavior, it’s infuriating.

      • Just because you would have enjoyed doing something as a kid is irrelevant to whether it should be lawful or otherwise encouraged in society. Making that distiction is what adults do.

      • but this isn’t a city vs country thing. Even in the “country” these bikes would not be allowed on public roads. The dirk bikes and quads they are riding are in no way street legal. They lack head lights, brake lights and turn signals.

        • If you understand that some of the kids born here, and even kids all across the US never even see a beach in their lifetime, many never leave the place where they are born, you realize that your point of experience and world knowledge outweighs theirs. You gain a new perspective in terms of how those kids see life. The things we aspire to is far beyond their expectations. Their only idea of fun is riding a motorcycle through their neighborhood, while you know there’s much more than that. A kid should not be sent to jail for something that simple if no one gets hurt. This is what Barry was referring to.

          • And so their poor childhoods that lacked opportunity give them the right to endanger their own health and safety and that of people who happen to be around them? If you disagree with locking up kids for breaking the law, fine, but offer something more than “flyers, and outreach in schools” as a way to stop this dangerous behavior. And don’t use “oh, poor little city kids” as an excuse for anti-social behavior. It’s insulting.

          • And plenty of people have gotten hurt by these things, including the people riding the motorcycles and quoted in the paper. Any bets on who paid for their medical care and will pay for whatever disability claims they make?

      • “Kids ride dirt bikes all the time in the country”

        Yeah, usually on private property where they are allowed and licenses aren’t required.

        ” it’s ludicrous to suggest that it should be outlawed just because this is a city. ”

        Whether off-road vehicles should or should not be permitted in the city is irrelevant since they’re already illegal.

  • College football starts tonight! And Saturday night the Hokies take down the mighty Tide!

  • Rant: Having a tough time prioritizing and worrying/working on the right things. Maybe leaving an old job, starting a new one, planning a move, starting grad school AND trying to be social and stay active weren’t the best plans all at once…

    Rave: Said screw it to the laundry list of things-to-do and went down to watch the speakers yesterday. Incredible, and awe inspiring, I’m so thankful I could be there. PLUS Obama waved at me :-D.

    • MLK and A. Phillip Randolph were inspiring. Oprah, Jamie Foxx, Nancy Peolsi not so much.

      • I only made it in in time to hear the former presidents Carter and Clinton, Lewis, MLKs sister and two children, and Obama speak. And I thought each of them spoke very well – certainly had me and the crowd around me thinking and hanging on their words.

  • epric002

    rant: i should have stayed in bed today. the dogs were total glassbowls on their walk this morning (even the nice one!). got all ready for work, about to walk out the door and realized that my wallet (with metro card, all credit cards, etc.) was in my husbands backpack that he took to work. he also took our car to work. he had an important meeting he couldn’t miss so he couldn’t bring me my wallet. i am now taking an unplanned day of leave. grrrrrr.
    rave: had the hardest yoga practice of my life last night. omg!
    rave: trying to be productive on my day off. doing laundry, vacuumed and dusted the whole upstairs, going to take the glassbowl dogs to the dog park later…at least i’ll get this weekend’s chores knocked out early!

    • One of my dogs has been projectile shitting since Monday. I took that day off thinking I’d finish up some baby projects, but spent most of the day trying to make sure he didn’t crap all over the house. I failed. He went 3 times in the house before I could get him outside. He puked twice.
      I woke up at 1:30 am Tuesday morning b/c I was freaked he was going to poop again..and I was right. I barely got him out of the house in time. Tried to fall back asleep, couldn’t. He started breathing heavily around 3:30 (a sign he’s going to barf), and I didn’t get him out in time to prevent more puking. I DID get him out in time to prevent more pooping though. Came back in and cleaned up vomit. Tried to go back asleep, couldn’t. Had cereal…finally went to sleep at 5:30 am, woke up by wife’s alarm at 6, couldn’t fall back asleep. Left for work at 8…longest day of work ever.
      I’ve been up at least 2 times a night since then to get him out of the house..last night I almost didn’t, but he was half on the floor, half on top of my wife and shaking the bed w/ his breathing. Total poo explosion when I got him outside. Another close call.
      Apparently he crapped in his crate today, then crapped in the kitchen when the dog walker got him out of it. Wife has gone home to take him to the vet.

  • Rave: adventures close to home for our anniversary this weekend! We usually go out of town, but no money spent on transportation & hotel = more money spent on food & fun.

    Rave: Making weekend plans! Even if they’re just dinner reservations/going to the park/watching a movie at home. Something to look forward to = life cheat code for more happiness.

    Rant: Can it be Friday at 5, pleaaaase?!?!

  • skj84

    Rave: Starting my vacation today!

    Rave: Heading to Baltimore to meet my parents for dinner. Anyone know of a cool place to get seafood? Something nice but not too expensive and not touristy. We want to meet around Inner Harbor, but I think that my be too chainy for my liking. I’m looking for a local place.

    • Go to Faidley’s in Lexington Market. Inner Harbor is all chains.

      • If you’re interested in waterfront seafood restaurants, there are two places in South Baltimore that I enjoy (probably as much for the waterfront dining as for the quality of the seafood, but they’re both local spots). The deck on Captain James’ Crabhouse on Boston St in Fells Point is good (you can take the water taxi there, or the Baltimore circulator will probably get you close, and it’s free). Also Nick’s Fish House near the Hanover Street bridge is the place I’ve always gone post-rowing or kayaking, and they also have a nice deck.

        • Remember that the Grand Prix is this weekend and will make getting around DT BMore a pain in the butt.

    • Phillips is both touristy and local – and has great food at a reasonable price-point. The Black Olive – in Fells Point is expensive and wonderful; Sip N Bite is a diner in Canton with great food: the Crabcake omelet, and the breakfast sandwich with a Crabcake and bacon are served 24/7 , and is super cheap.

  • How do you deal with the embarrasment of proposing marriage to someone and have to listen to complete silence and a change of topic? It sounds like a minor issue but I feel somewhat depressed about it. Maybe two years of knowing each other too early?

    • epric002

      ouch. s/he never gave a real answer? how old are you both? had you talked about marriage before?

    • I don’t think that’s a minor topic. Have the two of you talked about marriage? If not, that is the place to start. It is my personal opinion that the question “will you marry me” should never be a surprise, though the proposal itself can be. You should both know the answer going in.

      Of course, that ship has sailed. Talk to her about it and start a conversation about your futures together. You need to be on the same page about what you want. Or at least know what the other one wants. I don’t think 2 years it too early, unless in the two years you haven’t actually gotten to know each other well (it’s totally possible, I did it for 2.5 yrs once).

    • Was it clear you were proposing? Either way, please talk to your partner. Say that you were serious about this next step, but if he/she isn’t, you should talk about it with each other. And I’m sorry. 🙁

    • Had y’all discussed your feelings about marriage prior to your proposal? I’ve been on the other side of that, and I just remember thinking: ” What?!!!” I was stunned, and didn’t want to hurt my boyfriend or say anything that I would regret just to make the situation feel more comfortable. I think the best way to deal with it is by having multiple conversations with your partner. “Too early” depends on the relationship. I think any proposal should be about taking a relationship to a more committed level. Silence, to me, is a sign that y’all perhaps have a lot of communicating to do about where you are now in your relationship, and how you might want to grow in the future. As for your embarrassment, I feel like you took a risk – accept that you decided to take a risk reflecting your own needs – and the response wasn’t what you expected or hoped for. That happens. To me the real issue is that if this is someone you want to spend your life with, this should be someone that you trust enough to have a conversation with about expectations and commitment and your future together.

  • Rant: still sweating from my run this morning.

    Rave: heading to atlanta tomorrow to: see family, run 14 mi w/my fave running buddy, see friends, tailgate, watch VT season-opener. So happy for football to be back!

  • Rant: for some reason I’m unable to tolerate the sound of someone chewing on ice! I just want to jump over the wall of my cube and start strangling him! Argh.

  • anyone use the services of a matchmaker? Any recommendations?

    • Are you a dude under 40? If so I have a million awesome lady-friends.

      • Yes, i am a dude under 40, who has been disheartened by the flakiness of many women in this city.

        • What are you looking for?

          • 28-35, swf, smart, attractive, ambitious. I should say I am not like Dr. Emil Chynn who is looking for the impossible.

        • I have several friends that fit that bill (and feel like this city is full of women). How have you been meeting these flakey women?

          • all on-line. i seek a white woman and i am non-white, which i suspect is the issue

          • epric002

            ^ isn’t your non-whiteness evident in your profile?

          • By flakiness do you mean non-responsive? To be fair, if a particular race is part of your criteria, it may also be part of theirs.

          • I think being closed off to someone of your own race and specifically seeking someone of a different race is a red flag for many people — makes them feel like they’re being fetishized in some manner.
            No one will fault you for being open to all races. And people might cut you some slack for being open only to your own race, at least if you’re from a minority race/culture/religion. But specifically seeking out someone of a different race seems weird to me, and I suspect that’s how it seems to many of the women you’ve contacted.

    • epric002

      don’t give it’s just lunch your contact info unless you’re prepared for months of calls even after you tell them you’re not interested.

      • MsNesbitt

        I am embarrassed to say this, but… I used to work at the It’s Just Lunch on Connecticut Ave. I never, ever, ever recommend it to anyone. I was 23 when I worked there. Do you really want some silly girls just out of college determining the fate of your love life? For the kind of money you pay to be a part of IJL, you should expect a heck of a lot more than what really happened (at least when I worked there).

        • OMG, no way! I have a minor fascination with IJL based on having seen their ads in EVERY in-flight magazine, ever. I always wondered…do people actually use this service? Does it actually work? (I did eventually meet one person who tried IJL and your “silly girl” assessment is pretty spot on, based on my friend’s experience.)

        • epric002

          lol. i never actually used their services but was considering them before i decided to give online dating a try. glad i went with my gut- they were creepy insistent, and yes the prices were ridiculous!

  • After many years here, I’ve recenty discovered the Takoma Aquatic Center and the Arboretum. My life is complete!

  • Rant: Date tonight (with the guy that potentially lied about being married previously) has been postponed because of work obligations. I am going to see him this weekend and will be drinking so this should be interesting.
    Rave: Drink with a friend tonight that I was able to schedule at the last minute!
    Rave: Knowing that people feel similarly about their work. Somehow having people to commisserate with makes it easier.
    Rant: Popville’s comments that I’m posting too fast when it’s my first comment. I’m making a habit of copying my text before I post in case it doesn’t go through.

  • Rave: Good latte (though not as good as the Coffee Bar, my new favorite).

    Mini-rant/question: Newly registered for online dating and not sure how to manage profile. I know this comes up here often. I get emails from people who seem very genuinely nice and sincere but at different places in life (personally and especially geographically. As in DCs farthest suburbs before WVa.). But not really any response from people that on paper seem more compatible. What is straight early-mid-ish 30s guy drawn to when reading?

    I would not pretend to be anyone over than I am but I never know how to describe myself.

    • just be yourself and list things that you like doing, also dont sound cliche…nothing more annoying then the ‘what are you doing friday night question’ with the answer of out with friends or watching netflix with a glass of wine.

      I am just 24 but thats my two cents, have been on three dates with people from an online site with generally happy results (didnt lead to anything serious but was a good experience). I wish more girls would respond when messaged, theres lot of girls i would be interested in grabbing a drink (and i think i am a good catch)

    • epric002

      without compromising your absolutely will not negotiate on must-haves (and this should be a fairly short list), be willing to give someone a try who you might not have before. unless they were a total creep (icky messages) or violated my must-haves (no kids, for example), i was willing to go on a first date without almost anyone who fell within the profile-compatibilty range. and i went on A LOT of first dates. but i also met my husband online. which site are you using? i feel like there are different expectations/guidelines on different sites.

      • +1. The more interesting/fun/successful dates I had were almost all with people I might have dismissed if I’d had any kind of expectations about who I’d find. The whole process was a success for me, too, and I’d put my current sweetie in the category of people I wouldn’t have gone “looking” for.

        • So true! Not that anyone should go against their gut or what they feel is right for them, but I always thought I *should* be looking for someone my height or taller and my age-to-10yrs older. Once I let go of those notions, though, who did I end up falling for? A great guy who’s younger and 2 inches shorter.

    • Try writing your profile as if the reader is your best friend, the one you write funny emails to. So many profiles are stiff and lame, the ones that stood out were clearly in the real voice of the person. Good luck!

      • This is all great advice thanks. I am trying to not prejudge people although I am not sure I can extend that to geography if I don’t always have a car. I find it hard not to be cliche sometimes. Unless I spend all Friday nights in a moonlight yoga class (I don’t) I am kind of cliche. Sometime I go out, sometimes I stay in, some days I come home and nap.

        • There are certainly dealbreakers, and not being able to ever visit the person is certainly one of them! The best profiles weren’t the most exotic, they were the most real. Your friends like you, so think about them when you write your profile. Maybe even ask a few of them for some things you could include, sometimes we’re own own worst judges of our selling points!

        • yeah, the geography one is hard to get around without a car (har, har). you don’t have to be “special” online, be your true self. are you introverted or extroverted? athletic? a traveler? adventurous? a reader? family oriented? an artist? people are looking for someone who is compatible with how they want to spend their time, ultimately. coming up with just a few of those types of descriptors will help people see where they have/do not have compatibility. you could also ask a good friend to help you write it.

        • What do you do when you go out? What do you do when you stay in?

      • Be playful – (or get a writer friend to re-do) Here is what a friend of mine wrote originally:

        Native Washingtonian, gregarious, funny, outgoing, works well with
        others, lots of friends, etc. I try to solve computer problems for a living.
        Most of my spare time spent playing guitar in a jazz combo around DC, home
        repair, basketball and ‘running with the dogs’, i.e. Australian Shepherds. Enjoy
        most of the sports, latin music, fashion, good food, cooking, entertaining,
        and traveling to Spain! Stay tuned for more…..

        And here is how I shaped it up:

        Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway. “Wanna be” –
        pretty much as I am. Accomplished musician (jazz & flamenco guitar) with a satisfying “real job” (making computers actually work). Plays well (and often)
        with others. Leader of the pack (two Australian Shepherds) but doesn’t
        push the alpha thing. Owns a tux and a tool belt. (looks good in both)
        More friends than silverware – (but enough wine glasses) Doors never
        locked (house or heart) Savy but guileless (o.k. not even sure what that
        means – my writer friend has taken over) Average day requires four different
        shoes. (running, work, basketball/golf/hiking/tevas fuzzy slippers) Good
        day – five ( add salsa dancing.)

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