Learning the Lingo

Photo by PoPville flickr user NCinDC

I thought this description from NCinDC was pretty funny:

Signs inside Crown Fried Chicken located at 716 H Street, NE

My better half wanted some fried chicken; myself, being a country boy from eastern North Carolina, wanted some collard greens. I asked one of the many people loitering outside Crown if they knew the best place to get collard greens. FUN FACT: collard greens is apparently slang for weed, or is it crack? The woman I had asked began telling everyone within earshot that I was a cop and to stay away from me. The cashier at Crown told me I should have said greens, sans collard.

24 Comment

  • I’ll pencil that into my notes…

  • I guess you wanna know what Mambo Sauce is, the word bamma means, what lunchin means, jy/jive and all the other DC slang.

  • Culture of criminality.

    • Because only “that culture” smokes weed.

      It couldn’t have anything to do with a police presence that does not affect the weed smokers on U street? Nooooo.

      May I suggest Stormfront?

  • I’m black and from NC and wholeheartedly object to this.

    • justinbc

      Why does your race matter? That was never mentioned in the OP’s post. I’m white, from NC, and I’ve never heard of this either (although I don’t see how stating my race makes it anymore relevant).

      • msmaryedith

        +1. He never mentioned race anywhere in this!

      • -1

        I’ve never met a black person who was mistaken for a narc in any street encounter ever. This is most certainly a case of “racial profiling” where an innocent white person was presumed to be a police officer because of their race.

        (read the above in Dave Chappelle’s voice for full effect)

    • I’m with Bitter. North Carolinians are unjustifiably ridiculed up in here ALL the time, and it’s gotta stop.

    • What is objectionable?
      The though of eating at crown?

  • msmaryedith

    This makes me laugh. And also a little frustrated, since I get tired of all the Crown chicken bones that end up tossed in my yard (a half block away) on a regular basis.

  • Sounds more like this guy said ‘collard greens’ in a weird way while looking/acting strange.

    Drug lingo works such that any word can be substituted with the right look/emphasis. She knew immediately that he wasn’t a head (BECAUSE ‘collard greens’ isn’t acceptable weed slang) and figured he was a cop because why would someone ask for collards so strangely?

    Apparently everyone on the block was having a good laugh at his expense because ‘greens’ IS acceptable weed slang.

    These are as dated as Steve Harvey but here you go:

    • “Sounds more like this guy said ‘collard greens’ in a weird way while looking/acting strange.”

      If by ‘weird’ you mean English with a Southern accent, then yes, it was totally weird.

      If my ‘strange’ you mean wearing blue jeans, a polo, and tennis shoes, while making eye contact, smiling, and asking my question politely, then yes, I looked and acted totally strange.

  • Is it common to walk around asking random loiterers where to buy collard greens? That doesnt strike me as normal. Remember how off putting it is for a stranger to come into your neighborhood and start asking people strange questions? It goes both ways.

    • Yeah why not just Yelp it like a normal person?

      • By normal you mean someone who avoids social interaction and stares at their iPhone for an answer that could just as easily have been found by asking the nearest local.

  • People buy drugs in front of that place all the time, which is probably why it was an issue.

  • Heh. Our new DC is like a running “white people say this/black people say this” joke. I was at Open City and ordered “greens” and got a salad. I was like “WTF?”

    Where I’m from “greens” = some assortment of mixed greens (collards, turnips, kale) and “collards” = collard greens. Lettuce is a salad.

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