I completely understand that only chain retailers or restaurants could afford to set up shop at this location. But I can’t imagine anything more boring than this.

This is not just about a short order restaurant chain that routinely wins my imaginary awards for ‘biggest letdown’ and ‘I can’t believe I thought that was good in high school.’ This is about the constant push push push East and North. As the first missionaries in North Africa laid the groundwork for colonialism, so do Panera Breads serve as white people oases within patches of uncertainty, calking the cracks between gentrified neighborhoods with pesto paninis. Panera Breads are like ‘base’ for white people, who “you know I know the neighborhood is changing but it’s still a little dangerous and anything can happen” all day long. This is deceptively significant – one day we may wake and find the whole district is Panera Breads and Maclaren strollers.

How did the Panera floodgates break? I’ve been bragging for 10 years the entirety of DC refuses to accept the chain (bolstered by locations closely flanking the city in Maryland suburbs; one on GA ave in Silver Spring and another directly across the border in Chevy Chase). Then all of a sudden, woosh!